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UID:10001752-1775109600-1775149200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Why Unspoken Expectations Erode Trust (and How to Fix It)
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODkwNjg4MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg5MDY4ODEtd2h5LXVuc3Bva2VuLWV4cGVjdGF0aW9ucy1lcm9kZS10cnVzdC1hbmQtaG93LXRvLWZpeC1pdC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4OTA2ODgxJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 13) \nYou’re frustrated with someone you’re collaborating with\, but you can’t quite explain why.  \nChances are\, the problem isn’t their performance – it’s the unspoken expectations neither of you knew the other had. \nMost of us walk into collaborative relationships with an unwritten rulebook\, and then feel quietly frustrated when others don’t follow it. \nThe problem? We never handed them the book. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica introduces the Expectation Audit\, a simple but powerful practice rooted in organizational psychology. Drawing on research about unspoken workplace expectations\, and what Brené Brown calls “stealth expectations\,” Jessica and Erin explore why crossed wires at work are rarely about performance or personality. \nMore often\, they’re about invisible norms we’ve never made visible. \nYou’ll walk away with a practice you can use on your own or with your team to turn frustration into honest\, productive conversation. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][00:00:00]\nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Hi\, and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Erin. Today we’re talking about a tool to help with those relationships where you feel like you’re constantly dealing with crossed wires. You know that feeling\, where you’re a little let down\, but you can’t quite put your finger on what’s missing. Jessica’s going to share a practice we’re calling the “Expectation audit.” \nHi\, Jessica. I think we’ve all had those moments where we’ve felt let down by a colleague\, but can’t quite put our finger on why. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, Erin. Yeah\, exactly. We can fall into the trap of thinking that these frustrations are about the other person’s performance or their personality\, but more often than not\, they’re about unspoken expectations that we’re placing on the person. \nAnd I want to be really clear too\, this isn’t about creating a long list of demands for your coworkers or for your collaborators. It’s about making those unwritten rules of your partnership [00:01:00] visible so that you can both actually succeed. And so the project\, or the issue you’re trying to address\, can actually move forward and you can start making impacts In that issue. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. Okay\, that makes sense. It’s like you want to make sure you’re both playing the same game with the same rule book. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Right. Not using two different rule books\, yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. So let’s get into the why behind this. Where does this idea come from? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and I wanted to say\, I love that you framed it as\, “We want to make sure we’re playing the same game.” Because when I teach about building trust\, I often tell people that when we don’t share what builds or breaks our trust\, we’re unknowingly playing games with each other. And it really erodes our ability to build good working relationships. \nSo\, back to your question\, where is this coming from? This is grounded in a concept from organizational psychology called the psychological contract. Researchers define this as\, “The set of unwritten\, informal expectations between people in a [00:02:00] working relationship\, or commonly between an employer and employee.” \nI’ve seen a lot of descriptions of this psychological contract describing a relationship between an employer and an employee. It’s sort of like an internal contract. When you think interpersonally\, it’s like an internal contract that we have. Things like\, how fast you expect an email reply versus how fast the other person thinks emails can and should be replied to. \nOr\, how much detail you want to see or hear about in project updates versus how much detail the other person might feel like they’re willing to share\, or is necessary to share. \nAre there any examples you would care to share with us right now? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, so I used to have this one colleague who would\, their main priority was replying to things as quickly as possible\, and it would drive me insane because then they would reply\, and then they would have four or five more ideas\, and so I would get five rapid fire emails in a row that were all conflicting and [00:03:00] different. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: This sounds like me. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: This was not you. I promise\, I would directly tell you about it if it was you! \nAnd so it was always just overwhelming. And then I would miss things because I wouldn’t see that there were new emails\, and I just always would be like\, “Oh my gosh\, can you just stop and think before you press send\, ‘Is there anything else I want to say?’” \nAnd it used to drive me insane. And unfortunately\, like we never quite resolved that before we ended up working on a project. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And did you feel like when you got that many messages\, or when you would send a message and they got back to you immediately\, did you feel like\, “Oh crap\, this person expects me to respond as quickly.” Did that ever cross your mind? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, it did all the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So it’s a lot of pressure\, yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: It is a lot of pressure\, and I think there was also just this sense of\, “Oh\, I also have to make sure that I follow up on everything.” You know\, like there was this unspoken thing of like\, “Oh\, I’m getting everything out at you\, and then I have to carry it and move it forward and make sure it’s passed back.” \nAnd you [00:04:00] know\, we really probably could have talked about that\, but I think we were both pretty swamped at the time\, so we never stopped to talk about it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And then with all the extra information they were sending you right in between those messages that were really important for you to actually answer\, I would imagine that the message that you needed to respond to\, it just\, everything got muddier and muddier. And it was harder for you to like pick out what you actually needed to do versus not. Is that right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I think too\, you know\, I often would then pause\, read all of the things\, send kind of like one comprehensive message. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And I’d really stop and pause and go\, “Okay\, wait\, am I saying everything I want to say?” I’d maybe condense it so it wasn’t as long\, because I know it’s hard to read long emails\, and I try\, I’m like a\, ‘say all the things’ person. \nSo I was like\, “Okay\, how do I make this easier for other people?” And so I think I had this expectation of\, “Oh\, this is how everybody communicates\, right?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Oh\, we’re gonna get to that. Not to your expectation. We’re gonna get to [00:05:00] talking about that. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. And I’m realizing that it really felt like there were all these unwritten rules that both she had and I had\, and then we never talked about them. And we were just perpetually irritated with each other. I think a couple of times we had some conversations about\, “What works really well for you isn’t necessarily what works best for me\, and we can respond to things differently.” \nAnd like we never got past that. So\, I’m really excited if you have – yeah\, I would love to hear more about this. So are you also kind of talking about that idea of unwritten rules\, and like breaching trust with unwritten rules? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it can really feel like a breach of trust. Sometimes when we have an expectation on someone that\, whether we’ve communicated that expectation or not\, if they don’t meet that it actually erodes our trust as well. So when these informal\, unwritten\, unspoken contracts are breached\, it can also lead to real burnout [00:06:00] and lower engagement too. \nSo\, I have read almost all of Brene Brown’s books\, and I like her description of this. So she calls these stealth expectations. So\, things we expect from others but haven’t actually asked for. And honestly\, Erin\, half the time we don’t even realize that we have these expectations on other people until they fail to meet them. \nSo we’re walking around with a secret rule book in our back pocket\, and we’re frustrated that no one else is reading from it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. Oh man\, this is so true. I’m having so many thoughts. I often am in a place of\, like\, “I can tell that I’ve upset somebody\, but I don’t know why.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, me too. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Often everybody else is playing with the same rule book and I’m just like\, “What is happening here?” So it’s nice to know that it’s not just me. \nBut it can really feel like you’re trying to build something together\, but one of you is using Imperial and one of you is using metric. You’re cutting the pieces but they don’t fit together. And [00:07:00] you know\, you both think you’re completely right \, because you measured three times before you cut anything and then it still doesn’t work. \nAnd that really is sometimes how teams feel. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and that’s also the trap. I mean\, we think that our way of working is just the way it’s done. It’s our normal\, but your normal is likely very different from your colleague’s normal. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, This is exactly it. I think a good example is\, my normal might be when I need something\, I send a quick Slack message to get the answer. But my teammate’s normal is to gather all of the data and send one big email at the end of the day with all of the things. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh gosh\, that sounds overwhelming. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Right. I could see that and\, you know\, if I’m sitting there waiting for someone to get back to me immediately\, and they’re waiting to have enough information to feel really prepared and comprehensive and strategic\, we’re both going to be super stressed out\, even though neither [00:08:00] one of us is doing something wrong. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And that’s it. I mean\, that’s why this audit is so important. It’s not about correcting someone else’s behavior. It’s about making your normal visible\, right? What’s normal for you now becomes visible to everyone. \nSo when we don’t articulate our preferences\, we’re essentially asking people to be mind readers\, which nobody likes\, right? By doing this audit\, you’re saying\, “Hey\, this is how I’m wired. Does this work for you?” And it can shift the conversation from blame to coordination. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I love this. So often I see people getting stuck fighting about ‘the right way to do something\,’ rather than deciding together from many helpful ways how to do it. So often people just get stuck on\, ‘There’s only one correct optimal way\,’ and you know\, this is my particular axe that I have to grind because I think you limit yourself and you drive yourself crazy when everybody has to be exactly the same. \nAnd really it’s so much more [00:09:00] open\, and there’s so much more possibility to what works for us. So I love that we’re talking about this\, but walk us through the practice. How do we actually do this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, just like any practice we share\, this is just one of many ways that you could build it. So you can do this on your own at first\, and if you like\, you can bring it into conversations with your team or your collaborators. \nSo step one is for you to identify what I’ve been calling a crossed wires relationship. So\, bring to mind a situation where working with a team member or a collaborator is feeling heavy or frustrating\, or it feels like you’re always crossing wires\, right. You’re not quite making the connection. \nSo once you have a relationship in mind\, then do a little bit of a brain dump of your unspoken expectations. So you might ask yourself\, “What am I assuming here?” And then you might write down a few things that you expect from this person\, but you’ve never actually said out [00:10:00] loud. Or maybe some things that if you’re having a hard time identifying what you’ve said out loud and what you haven’t\, you could just write down the things that you’re not getting from that person that you expected. \nAnd then you can ask yourself\, “Did I ask for this out loud?” And if I haven’t\, or if I think I have in the past\, maybe it’s time to just have a gentle reminder\, or maybe it’s time for me to verbalize this. So\, just start out by finding some things that you’ve been expecting from the person\, and then identify whether you’ve asked for it out loud or not. \nAnd then step three is checking your certainty. Look at those expectations and ask yourself\, “Well\, how would they actually know that this is your expectation? Have you vocalized it?” I know I already said that you should identify that\, but I think going this step further and asking\, “How would they have known it?” \nSo if you asked about it and maybe the last time you asked was seven months ago or longer\, maybe that’s a [00:11:00] clue for\, they don’t actually know that that’s your expectation\, that that was something communicated months ago. Possibly in passing\, possibly in the middle of a long email. \nSo keep vocalizing it. You might ask yourself\, have you really clearly vocalized it or have you just hinted? And if the answer is that\, ‘They should just know\,’ right\, that\, “Oh\, well\, we have a list of things that the team is supposed to work on\, they should just know.” Well\, that’s a stealth expectation then. You have an expectation on them that has not been clearly identified or clearly shared. \nAnd then the last step is to ensure that you are vocalizing it. And I say vocalize\, it could be written\, that’s fine. I do think that a lot of connection happens through discussion. \nAnd so if you’re vocalizing in person\, here’s what I would recommend. So admit to the person out loud that you might have been [00:12:00] unclear\, you might say\, “I realized that I might have some internal quote/unquote “rules” for how I like to receive updates that I’ve never actually shared with you. Can we check in on what would work best for both of us?” That’s why I recommend that you do this verbally if you can\, because then it invites conversation\, right? \nIf you’re just sharing it in writing\, here’s my expectation. “I realize that I have been unclear about this.” You know\, “Please do this in the future.” There’s no opening for the other person to say\, “Hey\, I didn’t realize that you needed that. I need to do it this way because I have these other three things that I have to do that are attached to it. Can we talk about this?” \nWhen you do it in writing it’s more of a one-sided thing\, and that’s why I recommend that you verbalize. So admit to the person out loud that you might’ve been unclear. And then check in with them on what would work best for both of you. Make the offer a very genuine offer. \nI would like to add\, make the offer that you want [00:13:00] to find a way where it’ll work for both of you. So this can sound a little bit formal\, but it is often a really big relief for both people. \nLike when you say\, “Hey\, I realize I never told you that I prefer text for urgent messages.” The other person will often respond with something like\, “Oh\, thank goodness. I’ve been emailing and wondering why I didn’t hear back.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I can imagine that even just saying\, you know\, “I realized I wasn’t clear about this\,” or\, “I realize I never told you immediately\,” might decrease the temperature or the pressure in a room\, and it stops being about a communication failure and starts being more about process. More about\, “Oh\, how do we build a system that works for us? How do we make sure we’re operating with the same instruction manual?” \nI think what I really love about step four is it also gives an opportunity and an invitation from you to the other person to share what they need. It’s a way to [00:14:00] kindly ask for what your needs are\, but also invite the other person into expressing their needs. \nAnd then you can have this kind of\, you know\, when they – I’m sorry\, I’m immediately thinking about couples counseling where you’re saying\, ‘it’s not me versus them. It’s us versus a problem.’ And I think while you maybe work with your partner\, most likely don’t\, a lot of people don’t\, you still have a working relationship with a person. \nAnd then this framing really is\, “How do we have us against the problem of our miscommunication?” Not\, “You are doing it wrong\, and I’m right about everything\,” which I think that’s sometimes the fear of\, “I can’t express this expectation because then I’m being bossy or I’m being overbearing\,” or I don’t know\, that they’re capable of meeting my needs. \nAnd then it takes all of the pressure off of forcing another person to do what you want\, and more inviting a conversation. So I really appreciate how you framed this audit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thank you so much. And you know\, the final step of inviting their [00:15:00] perspective\, because it’s not just about you\, but it’s about finding a pathway that fits both of you. You might even ask them\, “Take this opportunity.” \nThis is sort of a little hidden step five. Or you could call it a ‘stealth step five.’ \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Stealth mode. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, if I use this opportunity to maybe ask them like\, “Do you have some unspoken rules for a good workflow? Like\, things that maybe I haven’t been meeting\, or ways that you like to operate?” \nNow I’m not saying just because someone says\, “Oh yeah\, I want to operate this way\, this way\, and this way\,” it doesn’t mean that you have to do what they say because they’re the person who spoke up and said what their needs were. \nI really want to be clear\, this is about both of you finding something that will work for the two of you\, or for the many team members – I say two because that’s been sort of the context of our examples here – but you could ask them like\, “What am I missing that might make things easier for you?” \nIt’s about meeting your needs\, while also co-creating a better process together\, so [00:16:00] really meeting each other’s needs. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. And that’s what makes a good team. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Thanks so much for sharing this practice with us\, Jessica. I love it\, and it’s such a great way to turn that ‘crossed wires’ feeling into a moment of connection\, and building community with each other. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You are so welcome. I love talking about interpersonal relationships. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That’s good. We talk about them a lot. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I know\, right! \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: All right\, well that’s it everybody\, that’s the episode. If you liked it\, please share with a friend or a colleague. \nWe will be back next week with a new episode. And until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:17:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/why-unspoken-expecations-erode-trust/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
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CREATED:20260326T100005Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260401T183007Z
UID:10001749-1774504800-1774544400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Encouragement That Works: How to Give a Real Pep Talk
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODg0NjcyMSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg4NDY3MjEtZW5jb3VyYWdlbWVudC10aGF0LXdvcmtzLWhvdy10by1naXZlLWEtcmVhbC1wZXAtdGFsay5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4ODQ2NzIxJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 12) \nA good pep talk isn’t just about saying “you got this.”  \nWhen done right\, it can reignite purpose\, build trust\, and help others find strength when things get tough. \nEveryone needs encouragement – but great encouragement does more than make people feel good. It helps them believe in their ability to meet challenges\, connect to purpose\, and keep going when things get difficult. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Erin dig into the science behind effective pep talks\, inspired by research from Harvard Business Review and Motivating Language Theory. \nErin walks listeners through how to write a meaningful pep talk using three key ingredients: direction\, empathy\, and purpose. \nYou’ll also learn how to bring these ideas into everyday encouragement\, whether you’re leading a team or supporting a friend through something hard. \nListen in to learn how the right words – offered with care – can make all the difference. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nThe Science of Pep Talks by Daniel McGinn\nSeason 7\, Episode 11: Humble on Purpose: A Practice for Better Decisions \nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. Today we’re gonna be talking about the power of encouragement\, and Erin’s gonna be sharing a practice with us on how to write a pep talk. \nHi Erin. How are you? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Hi Jessica. I’m having a wonderful day. I just got the best message: \nSo I recently thanked someone for inspiring me with their bravery in a meeting. I’ve been trying to call out bravery when I see it. And their response to me was so sweet\, they just said that they did it because they were trying to be more like me. I don’t know if you just saw this\, but my jaw just dropped. \nI was like\, “Oh\, that’s so nice!” It was like\, honestly\, one of the nicest things somebody’s told me and it just made my day. It was really magical. To have somebody notice something that I’ve been trying to grow in and then be inspired\, and then tell me that I inspired [00:01:00] them. Like\, what is this?! \nI was trying to figure out\, what is the word that describes this feeling? I don’t know. Opposite of loneliness. And then I got stuck. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I think the word that you might be looking for here is encouraging. It’s encouraging. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. That’s it. It is embarrassing to be the person teaching a practice in the encouragement episode and not realizing you’re talking about encouragement\, but hey\, yeah\, we’re here. \nWe don’t need to be perfect. And it was kind of funny. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s talk about this. Why did you think about bringing up encouragement today? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. Well\, honestly\, I wanted to talk about something fun. You know\, we’ve been writing a lot of really great practicasts about trying new things\, new skills and being brave\, and this is exciting and this is [00:02:00] transformative. \nBut it can also be really hard. Right? And it can be stretching and uncomfortable\, and I wanted to kind of equip people with a practice to help them\, a) keep going when things get hard\, b)\, encourage other people to keep going when things get hard. But also it really feels good. I don’t know how many pep talks you’ve given\, but as someone who has given many\, it feels really good to give a pep talk and then just see people like to be refilled with joy and be like\, “Oh yeah\, we are capable of hard things. We can do this.” \nAnd like when you’re stuck\, it feels so good when someone helps unlock extra energy or capacity or like a lens you hadn’t viewed it through before. I’m getting ahead of myself a little bit and I’m sorry\, but I think pep talks are misunderstood and underrated. People think about like sports movies and not about really meaningful human interaction\, which is what I think pep talks actually are. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I am gonna take it [00:03:00] one more step and say\, “I don’t do pep talks\, I do pep rallies.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Ooh. Okay. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: No\, I’m totally\, I’m totally kidding. But I actually have never thought about what I do when I’m encouraging others as “pep talking” them. I’ve been told by others that I’ve inspired them or that I’ve helped to unlock those things that you’re talking about. \nBut I never really thought about it as me incorporating elements of what a pep talk might be. I just\, I think I don’t like to see people be stuck\, and I like to try to help where I can. And so with that\, I mean really good encouragement is nice to receive\, but it can be a lot more. \nI feel like I’ve always thought that I was encouraging them\, but I think in what you’re saying with really good encouragement done right in sort of\, I love the language of pep talk\, but in this kind of pep talk kind of way\, it can be a lot more. It can give people what they need to keep going\, and [00:04:00] help people unite around a shared goal\, which is really important for the work that we do. A shared goal\, maybe even some shared value or defining some shared truths. \nAnd it can acknowledge the cost of the work and still give people the hope that it matters. So it’s really powerful stuff if you know what you’re doing\, or apparently\, even if you don’t\, sometimes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, it has powerful potential\, and I would like you to cash in on the powerful potential that you have to encourage yourself and others. \nI know that we sound a little bit like this is a magical fix all\, that’s not what we’re saying. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, no\, no\, no. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: But I do think it is more powerful than we let it be. We let it be for sports and sales\, and we forget about it for the rest of us. But the rest of us deserve good encouraging pep talks too. \nSo\, let’s get into it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So encouragement can come in so many forms\, and let’s get into talking a little bit about [00:05:00] why pep talks. Why are we talking about pep talks today? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, we’re talking about pep talks\, I mean\, selfishly\, because I am the like unofficial pep talker in my workplace. And that has had the side outcome of me not receiving a lot of pep talks. \nAnd so I somewhat selfishly want to teach more people how to give a good pep talk\, because I want people to give me good pep talks. This is perhaps very selfish of me. But also\, to tell you the truth\, I really thought I knew everything you needed to know about how to give a big good pep talk. I was like\, “I’ve got this down.” \nYou know\, I’ve like jokingly included it on my unofficial duties list when I’m onboarding and offboarding places. Like it has regularly been a major component of my work to be the person giving pep talks. So I really thought I had it down. \nAnd then I did the practice that you taught us about intellectual humility\, and realized [00:06:00] that I assumed that I knew everything there was to know about pep talks\, and I was like\, “Oh\, dear\, I don’t think that’s actually true.” And so then I did research because of that practice\, and that’s why we’re talking about pep talks today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I am beaming right now\, since this is audio-only\, I have to describe what my face looks like right now. Because did you just say that you did a practice from our own podcast about intellectual humility\, and that it helped you\, you learned something from it? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. \nIt’s like\, you know\, when you take your own advice\, when you take your partner\, your coworker’s advice\, and then you’re like\, “Oh\, they were right.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Most of the time the practices we bring to this podcast are things that we either have tried\, or we bring into our work periodically\, or we bring into our practices periodically. \nAnd so that one was one that I had brought forward. [00:07:00] I’ve practiced it in the past\, not in maybe exactly the same way that I put it forward in the podcast\, but I’ve practiced versions of it. And so you were in the room with me while we were talking about it\, and it does like\, tickle me a little bit that\, you know\, that practice was helpful to somebody that I know. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, it was great. Okay. So I’m actually really excited because as much as it was like uncomfortable to admit that I didn’t know everything I thought I knew\, I found out a bunch of really cool stuff. \nSo\, I think the most useful thing was\, I found a Harvard Business Review article called The Science of Pep Talks\, by Daniel McGinn. \nAnd in it\, McGinn talked about motivating language theory. I had never heard of this. So this is a theory based on research done by Jacqueline and Milton Mayfield at Texas A&M International University. And they have been studying what they call ‘motivating language’ for years in [00:08:00] sports\, business\, research\, science\, and the military. \nAnd they found that effective pep talks can have huge impacts on individuals and groups and their ability to do challenging things. For all of those groups. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so I mean\, this is interesting because sports\, business\, research\, science and the military\, those are very different kinds of groups. I’m very interested to hear about how this kind of research can work across all these disciplines. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. And this is actually what I love about their theory is they don’t say that the same thing works for every single person. \nIn motivating language theory\, pep talks are made of three different parts: direction giving\, empathetic language and meaning making language. We’ll define those in a minute\, and what they found is that different groups need different combinations of these parts in order for it to be effective. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that makes a lot of sense. \n[00:09:00] Let’s talk a little bit more about the three parts. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. So direction giving is explaining how to do the task at hand. This can include instructions. It also includes what they describe as uncertainty-reducing language\, which I think is just such a fun phrase. A lot of what that is is like\, “Do people know what they’re doing? Are we all on the same page? Is it clear? Is it explicitly clear?’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You know\, sometimes everybody thinks they’re on the same page and they’re not. So that’s what they mean by direction giving. And they have said that if you’re in a new group or a newly forming group\, direction comes up more often. \nBut if you’re in a group with experts or teams that are doing things they’ve done before\, they might not need as much of this component as a brand new team might. So that’s something to keep in mind for how much of this component do I need to include. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So the [00:10:00] direction giving element of this is just really practical\, focused on making sure everyone knows what their role is\, what the job is\, what they’re there to do. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, that’s it. Exactly. \nThe second element is empathetic language. This is where you engage in the humanity of the people involved. You bring in praise\, you bring in encouragement. You acknowledge how hard a task actually is. And acknowledging the challenge piece is often the part that people leave out of a pep talk. \nA lot of people think that if you acknowledge something is hard\, people will be discouraged or give up. Often the opposite. If you don’t acknowledge the challenges\, pep talks can come off as more like gaslighting than encouragement. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’ve seen this over and over again. I’ve seen a lot of leaders learn the hard way that not naming the challenges\, like kind of skipping over them like you’re describing\, even if they do it [00:11:00] unintentionally – I need to add that\, because I don’t think everyone’s out there doing this on purpose. Like\, “I’m going to just skip over the challenges and maybe they won’t notice.” I don’t think very many people are actually doing that. \nBut that is a really good way to destroy trust\, skipping over the challenges and not naming them\, not acknowledging that something’s challenging. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: There’s something really\, really discouraging\, at least to me\, and I’ve heard this from a bunch of other people too\, that when you get a talk and your leaders don’t even acknowledge the cost\, there’s almost part of you that thinks\, “Do they even know? Do they even know this is hard? When they say we can do it\, do they actually know what we need to do to do this?” \nOr are they just imagining that we can do it and they don’t actually know what it takes\, so they’re lying. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Or is it like hard for me\, but not for them\, and they’re just not in reality right now? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so it can be really empowering for someone to say\, “Hey\, I know that this is [00:12:00] so hard. It’s hard because of this. It’s hard because of this. It’s hard because of this. And I am confident that we can still accomplish it. And I believe we can still accomplish it so much more if you start by talking about all of the reasons why it is almost harder than it needs to be.” \nYou know\, that’s a much more powerful statement. \nOkay\, so the third element is meaning-making language. This is where you talk about why the work you’re doing is important. You can link it with your purpose or your missions. \nAnd often it’s a place where people will share stories\, either about the impact that previous work has done\, or why we all care about the thing that we’re doing. Meaning making is useful in almost every situation. And you may need it less if the end goal of the work is super obvious. \nThe example in the paper\, I think is they were talking about a team that was doing medical [00:13:00] research on how to cure MLS. It’s a pretty significantly debilitating disease\, and a lot of the people who were doing the research had family members who had died of it. \nSo that’s one where like you don’t need to encourage the end goal. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: goal. It’s kind of obvious\, right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. The end goal’s really obvious. And you know\, sometimes it’s like the opposite. They had this other example where they were talking about\, okay\, if you work in a fast food restaurant and you need to give somebody a pep talk\, the end goal is going to be really\, really different than someone who’s working on medical research\, right? \nAnd so this is why they talk about meaning-making being the hardest part of the pep talk. Because you have to answer the question\, “Is this worth it?” And you have to give an answer that you actually believe. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So if you don’t\, you can’t give the pep talk. If you don’t believe that it’s worth it\, right. I mean\, that’s kind of a\, it’s a deal breaker. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. I mean you [00:14:00] can\, but they can tell. And that’s the thing\, like if you wanna give an effective pep talk\, you’ve got to believe the things coming out of your mouth. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. authenticity is something we talk about a lot. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And I genuinely think this is why so many people think that pep talks aren’t effective\, because they haven’t had good ones. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: So I think the thing that comes up for me in this\, the questions that I have is just like\, “Well\, what if I’m a leader\, and I don’t know if it’s possible?” \nThat’s a hard question. You can say that it’s scary\, it’s vulnerable. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I mean\, one thing I like to ask a lot\, and I just wonder if maybe sometimes the situation calls for you acknowledging that you don’t know. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: If it’s possible\, or maybe sometimes the situation\, and I would say probably a good chunk of the time\, the situation might be where instead of saying\, “I don’t know if it’s possible\,” it might be saying what is possible. \nI think acknowledging [00:15:00] what’s hard about making it possible is really important\, but maybe turning around and saying\, “And what is possible…” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I think that’s great. That is a good segue into really building people up. Like\, you don’t necessarily have to go through these three phases in order and then never go back. \nSo if you’re talking about the meaning-making and saying\, “This is worth it\, this is what we can achieve\, if we achieve it. I don’t entirely know if we’ll get all the way there\, but here’s what we have.” And then you can go back to the subtle direction-giving and you say\, “We have this person and they’re working on this. We have this person\, they hit this out of the park every single time. We have this person and they’re the best at communication and this per -” you know? \nYou can really build people up and compliment people and say\, “Okay\, considering all of what we have\, we can get somewhere\, right?” Like what can we achieve with [00:16:00] what we have? \nAnd you can positively reframe it in a way that doesn’t feel like gaslighting\, if you are thoughtful. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. Right. Well let’s get started with the practice itself. Please walk us through\, kick it off. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. The start of this practice is\, think about a group or an individual that’s struggling with a challenge. This could be a team you work on. This could be a coworker\, this could be yourself. Think of that person\, and then before you are responding to an email or saying something\, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you figure out what do they need to hear\, what’s going to help them with what they’re struggling with. \nSo the first area is direction giving. And that’s just\, do they know what needs to happen next? So some questions that you are asking yourself: “Do they know what they’re trying to achieve? Who is [00:17:00] doing what? Do they have what they need to do it?” \nAnd I want to be clear here\, you are not asking the other person these questions. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. I know this is confusing. That would not sound like a pep talk at all. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That would sound like accusations\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. But you’re using the answers to determine what they need to hear\, right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Or you might be answering these questions based on what you know about the situation\, \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure\, yes. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: “What’s my assessment of whether they know what they’re trying to achieve? What’s my assessment of do they seem to understand who is doing what\, what the roles are\, and what’s my assessment of do they have what they need to do it?” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. I will fully tell you\, I often find myself giving pep talks to people who are\, after a meeting\, coming to me and being like\, “Erin\, I’m panicking. What are we doing?” \nOr they’ll tell me a situation of like\, “I was in this meeting\, we had this conversation…” And [00:18:00] so there’s often context that I get from another person before I’m giving them a pep talk\, and so I can kind of discern a lot just from listening. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. \nIt sounds like you might ask these questions\, right? You don’t have to like pre-prepare your entire pep talk before you go in\, you can actually go into a meeting of a group for whom your experience of that group has been that they might need a pep talk. \nAnd you can ask these questions if you don’t know the answers to them. And in the moment you could say something like\, “Are we all in agreement on what we’re trying to achieve? Do you all feel clear on that?” And they’re all like\, “Yeah\, yeah\, we feel clear.” \n“Do you all understand what the roles are? Who’s going to do what? Do you all get that?” And they might be like\, “Yeah\, we totally get that.” And then you might say\, “Okay\, do you have what you need to do it?” And then one person’s like\, “Well\, we’ve really been struggling with needing this tool\,” or\, “We’ve really been struggling with the process for X. \nAnd so then you could start your pep talk by saying\, “It sounds like you’re really clear on your objectives and roles. Good job. Because that’s [00:19:00] a huge hurdle. But you need some tools to help.” \nSo let’s move on then to the next set of questions. The empathetic language. You can literally do this in a meeting\, or you can make these assessments ahead of time\, and kind of preplan your talk. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. And I think you bring up a really good point there\, which is\, often the picture we have in our head of a pep talk is from a movie. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You know\, it’s like a coach at a sports movie\, at the championship\, and they give this big – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It’s Ted Lasso. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: It’s Ted lasso\, or it’s like you’re watching a movie about salespeople. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: They use an example of\, like Glen\, Gary Glen\, something. I can’t remember. This is not a thing that I have seen. \nOr you watch someone like\, “Yeah\, we can make all our sales\,” and it feels very culty occasionally\, and you’re like\, “I don’t know about that.” So I think part of my hope of giving you these questions and equipping you\, and what you brought up is that a pep talk doesn’t have to be just a talk. \nIt’s more about bringing focused [00:20:00] energy. Bringing this sense of like\, “Okay\, what do people need and how can I help them get there? And how can I see things that they can’t see right now and how can I communicate it to them?” \nAnd so it isn’t necessarily like\, ‘I talk for five minutes\, that’s the pep talk.’ It might be a pep talk conversation where we have a little back and forth\, and that’s what you brought in and I love that you did that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m glad that we established that. So the direction-giving questions: Do they know what they’re trying to achieve? Who is doing what? Do they have what they need to do it? \nLet’s go into the empathetic language questions. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. So some questions that might be helpful to ask are\, What’s going well? Is there someone you can compliment or thank for the work that they’ve already done? What is making it difficult? Does this team believe that they can do it? Why or why not? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And\, Do you believe they can do it? I would imagine is also helpful. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. Mm-hmm. And\, Why or [00:21:00] why not? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Right. You know\, these are uncomfortable questions to like full-on face\, and this is where you get to practice your bravery skills. Full-on asking\, “Do we think they can do it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: It’s scary and it’s hard\, and if they’re in the weeds\, this is how you can support them by asking that question they can’t ask themselves. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think this is where some of your answers\, or the way you communicate this to the group might need to be a little bit delicate\, right? \nSo if part of what’s making it difficult is that they’re down to one third the amount of staff\, and they’ve had not only tons of work put on them that the other people were doing\, but also a new big project just came up and they’re saying that we don’t have the capacity to do this – then coming back in and saying\, “But I believe you can do it” can feel very disingenuous. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, not great.[00:22:00] And so\, you know\, I think there’s something to be said too about\, you’re not trying to lie here. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You are not trying to tell them it’s impossible. Maybe the pep talk they need to hear is\, “Wow\, you have been given so much to do and so few resources to do it. The fact you have been able to do as much as you have been able to do is really impressive and I’m so proud of you.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: “And I’m sorry that I can’t give you any more to make this happen.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nThen maybe this is where it’s like\, “Let’s talk about what is possible right now.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. And unfortunately\, this is also the part that comes with practice\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You’re not going to perfectly hit it out of the park every time. \nYou’re not going to say the perfect thing every time. But the good news is\, you don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes all people need to hear is just like\, “Wow\, that is so much\, that is so hard.” Like\, they just need acknowledgement that they’re not making it up\, they’re not crazy\, that it is [00:23:00] unreasonable or it is overwhelming. \nAnd sometimes that’s enough to just kind of like keep them floating until we can get them more resources. Pep talks aren’t about magically fixing it for people. It’s about being present with them and helping them figure stuff out. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So the empathetic language questions are\, What is going well? Is there someone you can compliment\, or think\, what is making it difficult? Do you believe they can do it? And\, Why or why not? And do they believe they can do it? And\, Why or why not? \nLet’s go on to the meaning-making questions. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. This is where we’re answering the question\, “Why is it important to keep going?” \nSo good questions to ask are\, “What is made possible by doing this hard thing?” \nThis takes some imagination. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. What is made possible toward that kind of end goal that the group has been working toward. To begin with\, a lot of times\, by the time you’ve made [00:24:00] it here\, you kind of have a sense for what that overarching goal is. \nAnd so then toward the big goal that this group has been assembled or this team has been assembled to affect\, “What’s made possible by doing this hard thing?” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. And then another good question to ask is\, “What hard things have you done successfully in the past?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: “When has it been this hard before\, and you’ve still managed to do it?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Everyone has a story about that. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Right. And sometimes it’s like\, “It was this hard before and we didn’t get all the way there\, but something good still happened.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: “And we were able to build off it and get to somewhere better.” \nIt’s hard to give more specific advice about the meaning-making language because it’s really context specific. It’s like\, what is meaningful to this team? What is meaningful to these people? And this is going to require you spending time getting to know people\, [00:25:00] knowing a little bit about what are the shared values\, what do we all care about here? What are we trying to build together? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You can ask them these questions also\, and then develop what you say based on what those answers are. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, exactly. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thank you so much for guiding us through this\, Erin\, these are really good questions. But a whole pep talk\, it’s not a ton of questions\, but there’s enough questions where it could feel like a lot. I’m just going to leave that in there. What is the smallest thing that someone can do to practice encouragement or pep talk? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, that’s a great point. Okay. I hadn’t realized how hard pep talks are until I tried to\, like\, outline how to write a good one. So I’ll say this. I think the most important thing you can ask yourself if you only have a little bit of capacity is\, “What does this person or team really need right now? Is it direction\, empathy\, or purpose?” \nAnd then keep it [00:26:00] really simple and really short. If they need direction\, make sure everybody knows what they’re doing. If they need empathy\, say something like\, “I know this is hard\, I believe in you. You can do it.” Or\, “If you’ve done hard things before\, I believe you can do this too.” \nif it’s purpose\, that one’s a little bit harder for me to just like\, whip out one sentence\, but\, “This is worth the effort we’re putting in.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Or even thinking about the direction-giving questions\, “You guys are so on track with everything. Let’s see what we can do about getting you the tools you need\, or how we can put our heads together and make sure that you’ve got everything you need.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. One final thought. You don’t have to be perfect in order for it to make an impact. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nWell\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoy the episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend [00:27:00] or a colleague. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/how-to-give-a-real-pep-talk/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260319T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260319T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260319T100035Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260406T033746Z
UID:10001748-1773900000-1773939600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:How to Grow Your Courage for Collaboration
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODg0NjQ1MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg4NDY0NTEtaG93LXRvLWdyb3cteW91ci1jb3VyYWdlLWZvci1jb2xsYWJvcmF0aW9uLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTg4NDY0NTElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 11) \nCollaboration takes more than skills and schedules—it takes the courage to step outside your comfort zone with other people. Bravery isn’t just about big\, dramatic moments—it also shows up in everyday choices\, like meeting someone new\, stepping into an unfamiliar space\, or staying curious when you feel uncomfortable. \nIn this episode\, Jessica and Erin explore how to build everyday courage for collaboration\, using skills like curiosity\, empathy\, and intellectual humility. Drawing on the Greater Good Science Center’s Bridging Differences Playbooks\, Erin shares a practice called “Expand Your Views & Circles” to help you gently stretch your comfort zone\, meet new people\, and grow your relational bravery over time. You’ll walk away with simple\, practical steps you can take to be just a little braver in your community and your work. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\n\n\nThe Greater Good Science Center Building Briges Playbooks\nVIA Character Strengths\nSeason 7\, Episode 8 – Turning Conflict Into Collaboration\nSeason 7\, Episode 11 – Humble on Purpose: A Practice for Better Decisions \nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. Today we’ll be talking about everyday bravery and how to build your courage\, and Erin’s gonna be sharing a practice with us. Hi Erin\, how are you? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Hi Jessica. I’m great. I’ve been brushing up on my bravery knowledge this week to prepare for this episode because I’m trying to not assume I know everything. And it has me very excited about being uncomfortable. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, that’s not a sentence that I hear very often\, especially as someone who brings improv into my work with groups\, but even just on a day-to-day basis\, I’d say that statement is pretty rare. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. I am surprised it’s coming out of my mouth to be honest\, but I think\, you know\, learning about bravery has made me excited because that’s\, you’re gonna talk about this later\, but that’s kind of where you can build it. It is being uncomfortable\, so it’s exciting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, [00:01:00] well let’s get into it. Why are we talking about bravery today? That sounds like I’m accusing you of something. \nI’ll say that a little softer. Why are we talking about bravery today\, Erin? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Well\, it’s kind of your fault. and lovingly. Just kidding. I mean\, it is. I love it. Inspired by you. That’s better than saying it’s your fault. We’ve been talking about two things a lot recently. One is collaboration and two is your very favorite framework\, the VIA character strengths. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, I do love it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: For good reasons. I’m learning. The more I dig\, the more I’m like\, “Oh\, this is actually very interesting. I get it\, Jessica.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I knew you’d like it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I knew it. Okay. So we’ve been sharing lots of different practices for building your collaboration skills. You can check out our episodes on conflict and intellectual humility. We can probably link those in the show notes. \nAnd all of the things that we’ve been talking about in terms of collaboration skills are things that require courage\, and require you [00:02:00] to do things that are maybe uncomfortable. \nAnd I’ve been thinking a lot about how feeling uncourageous is maybe a barrier to working in collaboration with others. And so I’ve been really asking myself the question\, “How do you build your courage?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. Just knowing what I know about the character strengths\, you know\, when you’re not feeling courageous. It’s hard to be vulnerable. And vulnerability is also a requirement for any collaboration\, for any relationship. So I love\, as you might imagine\, I love this idea of building courage. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, me too. I think there’s something very optimistic about the idea that you don’t have to be perfect at everything. That you can grow. \nAnd still learn and do things. So I did a little searching and found some really excellent resources from the Greater Good Science Center. Specifically\, they have published several Bridging Differences playbooks that I really love\, because they’re [00:03:00] not explaining things to you\, they’re giving practices to try on things. \nAnd it’s all about how do you build bridges with people who are different than you? How do you navigate tensions\, which I think is a huge part of the collaboration work that we’ve been talking about. So we’ll also link these playbooks in the show notes\, and we’ll be going through one of the practices they recommend later in the episode. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’m excited to dig into this. Erin\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. Well\, I started this whole process by looking into courage generally\, and interestingly\, the VIA Character Strengths describe courage\, not as a specific strength\, but as a category of several strengths of virtue\, and you practice it with the skills of bravery\, perseverance\, honesty\, and zest. \nSadly\, we’re only talking about bravery today\, because there’s not enough time to talk about all four of them. \nBut someday we’ll circle back to [00:04:00] perseverance\, honesty\, and zest\, because they’re fabulous. So bravery is\, we’re talking about bravery specifically because it’s a skill about acting\, even when you’re afraid. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. You know\, I’ve actually often been told\, actually just this last weekend again\, in fact\, that I am brave. \nSo people were\, there’s something called strength spotting. So people have\, over my life\, done strength spotting with me where they’ve told me that I’m brave. What’s funny though is I don’t really think of myself as brave. But I have told people that often to me\, the kind of risk that I’m taking is worth the reward. \nSo it’s about acting even when you’re afraid. So that I’m not like going into things fearless\, because I have had people say\, you know\, “You seem so fearless\,” which is so funny to me because I am not fearless. Not even a little bit. \nI am full of all kinds of fears\, but I do [00:05:00] do things despite my fears. But when I’m told that I’m being brave\, I think a lot of people think of bravery as like really big moments\, really big acts. Like\, “Oh\, that person showed so much bravery when they went and helped somebody who was just in that accident\, it was fiery and they pulled them out.” \nIt can be those moments. It certainly is those moments. But when I’ve been told I’m brave\, it has not been about things like that. It’s been about things that I might call\, like\, “social bravery\,” like being willing to talk to someone that I’ve never met\, or cold calling or networking\, or even just trying new things and enjoying the ride. \nAnd you know\, I know that bravery and zest are stronger strengths for me in that whole VIA classification\, but they’re not my top five. I think zest is in my top seven. Which would be more related to sort of enjoying the ride or the adventure\, or pushing through your fears\, because there’s an adventure\, or because it represents some sort of newer novel thing. \nBut [00:06:00] when people think of bravery\, I think many of them think of people like firefighters or soldiers showing bravery in the line of duty. And it can be so much more than that. \nThat was a lot I just gave you. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You did give me a lot\, and I love that you’re so enthusiastic about this\, because it means I do less of the explaining. And you hit on one of the things that I really wanted to talk about\, which is\, bravery has multiple components. There’s that very physical bravery of running into a burning building like a firefighter does. That is very brave. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: We’re not saying that that’s not bravery. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m not sure that that’s the kind of bravery I would exhibit. Right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I haven’t been in that situation. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. I mean\, same. I haven’t been in that situation. I don’t like to speculate. I certainly know that I don’t have the training to do that without\, I don’t know\, there being my kid there or something\, you know? \nBut I think the most important thing to get at here is not asking yourself whether or not you’d run into a burning building. [00:07:00] But recognizing that bravery isn’t just running into a burning building\, it’s also taking a risk in a social setting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: It’s also taking a risk\, even intellectually\, we talked about this in our episode where we talked about intellectual humility\, right? That’s a risk to say\, “Maybe I’m wrong.” So I think there’s a lot of ways that you can be brave. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And vulnerability is brave. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, exactly. And I think we’re talking today specifically more about relational bravery or intellectual bravery. Because I think people talk about that less. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. I think also\, you know\, when I was trying to decide what practice to bring to the table today\, I was thinking about\, “Okay\, how do we help people continue to take actions even when they’re scared?” \nBecause that’s what bravery is\, right? But I don’t want people going out there terrifying themselves or making themselves scared. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: We [00:08:00] don’t need to be adrenaline junkies either\, right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Exactly. And you know\, maybe some people want to practice their bravery by going on\, I don’t know\, something safe enough\, like a rollercoaster. And maybe that is helpful for them. Maybe that’s helpful for training their body. \nBut today I want to talk about training your social discomfort muscles\, because what we know about discomfort is\, it can feel a lot like fear. And so if you train yourself to continue taking actions\, to continue choosing to do things when you’re uncomfortable\, your brain can kind of help you remember that when you’re afraid too. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, this is really interesting. Well\, let’s get started. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. So the practice I’m sharing today is called Expand Your Views and Circles. Specifically\, it’s very much influenced by the Greater Good Guide I mentioned earlier\, and I added some bits\, because we always add some bits here. \nAnd it’s designed by the [00:09:00] Greater Good Science Center to help you build your relational bravery\, using curiosity\, intellectual humility\, patience\, and empathy. Which is a lot of little buzzwords\, but we’re going to dig into it\, and it’s going to be fun. \nSo step one is you start by noticing your own activities. We’re thinking here about a community that you’re a part of. So where do you feel most at home in your community? Who do you tend to spend time with? What perspectives dominate your conversations? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Now\, Erin\, could that be a community of interest\, a community of geography? What kind of community are you talking about? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Any community you’re a part of\, I think. Many people may find it helpful to think about the community that they do work in or with. But it is also helpful I think if you don’t have a lot of free time in your working hours that you can allocate however you want. \nSometimes it’s more helpful to think about your personal life\, like [00:10:00] what is the community you live in\, and you can do this practice either in your personal life or in your work life. And either community will benefit from you doing the practice. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Okay. So step one was noticing your activities. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Let’s go into step two. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yep. Step two is to consider how you can intentionally step outside of your comfort zone and meet new individuals you don’t regularly connect with. \nWhen I first tried to think of how I could do that\, I got really stuck. I was like\, “Well\, I work for a university\, so I can go to just literally any part of campus and I’m allowed to be there.” \nAnd then I recognized that not everybody works for university. So I did a little bit of brainstorming for you about ways you can meet new ideas and people and environments. One place to consider is your public library. A lot of public libraries have free community classes\, and you can learn about [00:11:00] people who care about stuff that you don’t care about. \nAnd they’re intending it to be informational\, so they don’t expect you to come in agreeing with them\, which can be a really helpful first step. Local community centers also similarly have a lot of programming like that. \nAnother one that I love\, because I’m from Milwaukee\, is does your community have any street festivals that you’ve never been to? Milwaukee is somewhat notorious for having a festival every weekend\, almost all year round. \nIs anybody hosting a book club? There’s a bar in my city that hosts a monthly book club\, and they bring somebody from an organization who comes and leaves a discussion about a book\, about a topic that maybe you’ve never encountered before. \nIs there someone in your community asking for volunteers? Can you go build houses\, or clean up water\, or just do something with people who care about something that maybe isn’t on your radar at all? \nAnd then one that is a little less out there\, and a little bit less group\, if you’re an [00:12:00] introvert and you’re like\, “I can’t handle a group yet\,” is to come up with a coworker that you maybe know but haven’t spent a lot of time with\, and ask them if they’d be willing to eat lunch with you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I love that. And one of the ways we’ve talked about this in the past and it’s something I think we could add to this list\, has been thinking about maybe certain contexts that normally would be like\, “Nah\, that’s not for me.” And maybe just dipping your toe in that water just a little bit to see\, “Maybe it’s still not for you\, but you maybe will meet some really cool people in the end.” And kind of expand your horizon a little bit. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. I actively encourage you to find something that you think you’ll be bad at. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. Right\, right. Or\, like one or something that maybe you’re a little unsure of\, right? Not necessarily\, it doesn’t have to scare you\, but something that you’re unsure of\, like\, “I don’t know if that’s for me\, but I’ve never been to it\, so I’m gonna try it.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. Yes. That is a [00:13:00] great attitude. So step three is to go do the thing. It is probably the hardest step\, but it’s the most simple. You just go do the thing. \nSo\, some things to keep in mind as you’re doing the thing. Your goal is to surround yourself in different ways of thinking\, being\, or doing. If you’re uncomfortable\, that’s a good thing. It means you’re doing it right. The goal is not to agree with everything you encounter. \nYou don’t have to like it\, you don’t have to feel positive about it. You just have to engage with it respectfully. And then I think this is actually the most important part. Don’t come into whatever you’re going to expecting to change people’s minds\, or criticizing where they’re coming from. And this can be hard depending on where you grew up and what you’re encountering. \nIt’s like\, “I don’t know about this.” You know\, I’ve certainly had internally very critical responses to things\, but part of the practice is [00:14:00] not trying to change everybody else’s mind about things. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And could I add to that really quick? I would also say don’t try too hard to compare your experiences. Like\, be a tourist. I mean that in the best sense of the word. \nBe a person who’s there with curiosity. You don’t need to connect your experiences with\, you know\, everyone else’s experiences. Just learn from other people’s experiences. Does that make sense for this activity? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. \nI personally would use the word ‘guest’ rather than tourist\, because – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, thank you. That’s way better. I knew that it was not the right word. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, guest. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Because tourists are notoriously rude no matter where you go\, no matter where the tourists are from\, everybody thinks tourists are rude. So I would say guest. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I mean\, not the way I do touring around\, but – \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure\, sure. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I think you’re spot on that curiosity is really your best tool. Your best friend here\, like be interested. \nWhy do people like this? Why are they into this? Why might they think about this? What’s [00:15:00] important to them? \nIt may be appropriate for you to ask questions. It may not be appropriate for you to ask questions\, so you can be curious even if you can’t ask anybody why they think what they think. \nAnd if you’re asking somebody\, “Why do you think that?” Don’t say it like that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right? Please don’t. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Maybe you could say\, “Oh\, I noticed this is really important to you. What made it so important to you?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You know\, really think about if I’m being curious\, am I doing it in a way that is critical when I’m asking that question out loud\, or am I inviting them to share with me. \nAnd we could have a whole episode about how to ask questions and not be a confrontational jerk\, but we don’t need to go into all of that now. I have learned the hard way\, I’ll just put it that way. \nAnd then step four is\, after you’ve come back from the experience\, and that is to just reflect on what went down. So [00:16:00] what\, if anything\, was comfortable about this new space\, and did that surprise you? What\, if anything\, was uncomfortable about the new space and was it what you were expecting to make you uncomfortable? \nAnd then finally\, what did you learn? Did anything change about your own perspective because of this experience? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Thanks so much for guiding us through that\, Erin. I think this is a super clear way to get outside that comfort zone without doing something dangerous. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. And like\, that’s really the challenge. It took me a while to find something\, because practicing facing your fear in a way where I was like\, I spiraled for a minute\, I was like\, “I don’t know how to do this without people making risky behaviors.” \nSo this one felt like a really solid\, relational\, healthy way to do it. I will say one thing to keep in mind: as you do this exercise\, the impact it’s going to have on you [00:17:00] will depend on how much time and energy you spend on it. \nOngoingly engaging in something in your community or in multiple different things in your community\, if it’s not something that has a repeating meeting\, will have the most impact on your ability to navigate your own discomfort\, and your ability to continue doing hard things when you’re uncomfortable or afraid. \nIt will also\, the more you do it\, the more you’re going to love the parts of your community you don’t know. So you’re going to get what you put into it in this one. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I just wish I lived in a city like Milwaukee that has so many festivals. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You’re welcome to visit anytime. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:18:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/how-to-grow-your-courage/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260312T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260312T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260312T100052Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260401T172604Z
UID:10001747-1773295200-1773334800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Humble on Purpose: A Practice for Better Decisions
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODc5MzQxNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg3OTM0MTQtaHVtYmxlLW9uLXB1cnBvc2UtYS1wcmFjdGljZS1mb3ItYmV0dGVyLWRlY2lzaW9ucy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4NzkzNDE0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 10) \nWhat if the strongest person in the room is the one willing to say\, “I don’t know yet – what am I missing?”  \nIn this episode\, we practice exactly that. \nIn this week’s episode\, Erin and Jessica discuss intellectual humility – the willingness to recognize that what you think might be wrong\, and to make real space for other people to be right. \nTogether\, they explore how this shows up in everyday collaboration\, from project meetings to tough decisions\, and why it matters so much for psychological safety and trust at work. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nTake the free VIA Character Strengths Survey: www.viacharacter.org\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]ERIN CARLSON RIVERA: [00:00:00] Hi\, and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Erin. Today we’ll be talking about a deceptively simple skill that can change how teams and groups of collaborators think\, decide\, and disagree: intellectual humility. Jessica will be sharing a practice to help us build humility in a bit. \nHi Jessica. I’m excited to dig into this topic. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, yeah\, I mean\, who doesn’t want to be thought of as a humble person\, right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. I feel like our Midwestern is showing a little bit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah\, that’s fine. Oh boy! \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Oh golly! All right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, you’ll notice I didn’t say\, “Midwest nice\,” or anything like that. I mean\, humility is a real strength\, and it’s a real thing that people think about. \nBut I want to be really clear. It’s not about putting yourself down or pretending [00:01:00] that you don’t know things that you actually do know. It’s more about recognizing that you might be wrong\, and creating space for other people to be right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Hmm. Yeah\, I like that distinction. The phrase\, ‘I might be wrong’ is not a sentence I feel ever encouraged or rewarded for saying at work. But I’m really intrigued. \nSo let’s get into it. What do you mean? Tell us more about intellectual humility. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Let’s start with a working definition. From what I’ve found\, researchers are defining ‘intellectual humility’ I would say most simply as\, ‘The degree to which people recognize that what they think might be wrong\, or what they’re thinking might be wrong.’ \nIt’s awareness that your knowledge is partial. Your opinions are fallible and the evidence that you’re relying on might be incomplete. \nSo this is actually different from humility [00:02:00] in general. Sort of the\, I guess maybe we might say ‘capital H Humility\,’ right. The capital H humility can be about your abilities\, your status\, and many\, many other things. Intellectual humility though is more specifically about your thinking\, so your ideas\, your judgments\, your assumptions\, \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And I would imagine that intellectually humble people aren’t necessarily wishy-washy about what they think. Can you tell us more about that\, like\, can you still have strong beliefs\, and is it like you have a strong belief and you hold it lightly enough to say\, “I might be wrong and I’m open to new evidence?” \nOr is it\, or is it something else? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: No\, I mean\, it’s pretty much exactly that\, and you can even hear it in the way people who exhibit\, you know\, intellectual humility in the way that they talk\, they might say things like\, “Here’s how it looks to me right now\,” right? That kind of leaves the door [00:03:00] open to\, how does it look to you? \n“So here’s how it looks to me right now.” Or they might say something like\, “I’m about 70% confident in this\, or 80% confident. Or they might even just ask everyone at the table\, “What am I missing?” \nAnd underneath this language is often a set of habits. Things like checking your assumptions\, intentionally seeking disconfirming information and being willing to revise your view when the evidence really calls for it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay\, so it’s not about being indecisive or being a flip-flopper\, it’s about being honest about how sure you actually are and keeping the door\, like the door cracked for new information. \nAnd being willing to be data driven. Like when you get new data\, you adapt it into what you’re thinking. Oh\, that’s so interesting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And actually that’s a really great way to put it. You can still take a stand\, but you’re [00:04:00] not treating your current view as the final word on all reality. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, I love this. We need to stop assuming that we can give the final word on reality. That is such a great turn of phrase. Thank you for sharing that\, Jessica. \nSo you mentioned character strengths earlier. I’m assuming that this is a VIA Character Strength\, because I know you love them and you talk about them frequently\, which is good. I’m excited. They’re newer to me. So it’s fun to get all of this stuff from you. \nWhere does humility work in the VIA Framework to Connect? How does it connect with what you’re describing? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean\, I have to be honest with everyone. I prompted Erin to ask me about VIA Character Strengths. If you’ve taken the VIA Strength Survey\, humility is one of the 24 character strengths. \nAnd with the humility character strength\, it’s actually about having a realistic view of your strengths and weaknesses\, and it’s about things like not needing to [00:05:00] be in the spotlight all the time and letting your work speak for itself. \nVIA places humility in the broader virtue category of temperance. So temperance is things that help you keep your ego and your impulses in check\, so that you can respond more thoughtfully instead of reactively. \nBut intellectual humility is one way that strength shows up in how we think and decide. So when you say\, “I could be wrong here and I want to hear what I might be missing\,” you’re basically putting the character strength of humility into action in your reasoning. \nSo again\, intellectual humility really focuses on one way that humility can be practiced. And this is about the way we think about our reasoning. But the overall character strength of humility is\, you know\, it’s kind of broader than that. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay\, so if someone listening has taken the VIA Strengths Assessment and saw humility on their [00:06:00] profile\, intellectual humility is just a specific everyday way that humility more broadly shows up in meetings and collaborations. \nIt’s not the entirety of the strength of humility. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right\, but I wanted to bring it up because there’s so much research behind it\, and we know that. And so\, if you haven’t taken the assessment\, there is a free version of the survey online. We’ll put the link to it in the show notes. \nIt can be really helpful way to notice whether humility is a strength you have that you can lean into easily\, or whether it might be something that you’ll need to be a little bit more intentional about building. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. Well that’s exciting. Let’s pivot the conversation a little bit into collaborative work. What happens in a team\, or with a group of collaborators\, when there’s not a lot of intellectual humility? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Usually you’ll see people digging in as one clue. And I’ve been guilty of this myself. Disagreements might turn [00:07:00] into\, you know\, “I’m right\, you’re wrong.” \nNot that anyone actually says those words exactly\, but you might also notice people talking past each other\, or some people will stop sharing information that doesn’t fit the view that seems to be on top in the moment\, right? So if there’s a view that’s on top\, the ideas just kind of end up getting stymied. Additional ideas and additional perspectives. \nAnd conflict will become about defending your position\, instead of solving a shared problem. And that’s what\, most of the time when a team’s coming together or when collaborators are coming together\, they came together because there was a shared problem to solve. \nAnd so it ends up not being about the problem\, but instead being about you\, basically\, or being about\, you know\, each individual person trying to defend their position. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I’ve definitely seen the instance where everyone will come to a meeting\, like they’ve almost already written a script in their head about what they’re going to say and what the other person’s going to say\, and [00:08:00] then nobody actually listens or changes their mind\, or compromises. \nAnd the absolute worst is when they’re saying the same thing a different way\, and they don’t realize that they’re saying the same thing. And then there’s like this big fight\, and it falls apart\, because you can’t even hear what the other person is saying because you’re so determined to be right and to win. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: There was a person I used to work with where we had this problem where we would get into\, I wouldn’t call any of them like real strong arguments or anything\, we were friendly with each other\, but we would get into these sort of like back and forth volleys. \nAnd after a while we realized\, and we would crack up about it\, “Wait\, we’re saying the same thing. We’re just saying it in different ways.” Like\, we are in total agreement here. \nAnd we realized that it was a pattern we had. And so if we started to have a volley\, then later on we would stop ourselves. Once we realized that this was a pattern\, we’d stop ourselves and we would start laughing and say\, “Is this one of those [00:09:00] times where we’re basically saying the same thing\, but in different ways?” So\, I mean\, that’s definitely a thing that happens. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. Well\, can you tell me more? What does it look like when there is some more intellectual humility in a group setting\, what does that look like? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, we almost see the opposite\, right? So people are more willing to admit uncertainty and even come out and say\, “I’m not sure\, I’m not a hundred percent sure on this.” \nThey’re more curious about why someone sees it differently. Like\, “Oh\, that’s interesting. Can you tell me more about why you see it that way? What’s behind that?” And they’re more likely to bring in better evidence. \nSo more intellectual humility in a group or collaborative effort tends to improve the quality of decisions\, and also the quality of relationships within the group\, because people are actually seeing each other instead of talking past each other\, and choosing positions and sticking with their positions.[00:10:00]\nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. So what does this look like for a leader? Often leaders have this kind of pressure to project certainly\, or have executive presence\, or kind of have a commanding presence in a room. Like how does that interact with intellectual humility? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think that a leader that can exhibit intellectual humility sends really strong signals. \nSo when they say\, “Here’s my current thinking\, but I want to test it with you.” Or\, “Hey guys\, I got this wrong last time and here’s how I’m adjusting.” \nYou know\, people feel safer to speak up\, to disagree and to share information that might be uncomfortable. And there’s even research showing that this kind of humble leadership is linked with people feeling more engaged and able to thrive at work. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Oh\, that’s interesting. So a leader that exhibits intellectual humility is showing that the way they think [00:11:00] is open\, and they’re willing to revise it\, and therefore people actually participate in conversations. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. And\, you know\, they can still make the call. Ultimately\, they make that decision\, but they’re not pretending to be infallible along the way. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. Okay. I like that. That’s exciting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: By the way\, them not pretending to be infallible\, that’s what invites people in to share more perspectives and to give them more information to make that better decision. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That’s an important detail. So before we started recording\, you mentioned that there’s kind of a dark side\, or at least a cost to humility. Can you tell me more about that here? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so when we ask people to be intellectually humble\, we’re asking them to open up to the idea that they might be wrong about things that really matter to them. So that can be really unsettling. \nIt can create anxiety\, especially around things that hold deep [00:12:00] meaning for us\, like our values\, or those big purpose kinds of questions. Those existential questions that we might have. \nAnd in some contexts\, like with major values\, more humility can actually come with less certainty. And it gives us this feeling of lost stability\, like the ground’s starting to shake a little bit on us. This is not just like a feel good skill. It can actually be kind of emotionally taxing or demanding. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That makes sense. Yeah\, I can see that\, especially if something you’re thinking of as kind of a foundational thing is\, “Oh\, I’m a person who knows how to do this\, or we do it the right way.” I have done that one and it has not been good. \nOr\, “Our team does it the right way.” Questioning that feels really risky\, especially if you have really deep values about quality\, like the quality of your work is super important to you. Being open to the idea that maybe the quality of your work [00:13:00] isn’t good\, could be – oh\, wow. Okay. Yeah\, that does feel risky. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, that’s why I like to think of building intellectual humility as also building your tolerance for uncertainty. The two kind of work well together\, right? You’re strengthening your ability to stay grounded and curious. Even when your ego would really like you to slam the door and say\, “Nope\, I’m right.” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. All right. I love this. Let’s get into it. What’s the practice you brought? Walk us through it. How can we start building our intellectual humility? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I want to start out by saying just like any practice we share\, this is just one of many ways. I think even if you just worked on building humility in general\, it doesn’t have to be specific to intellectual humility\, you are well on your way to building intellectual humility as well. \nSo the practice I’m going to share is\, you can do this on your own at first\, and if you like\, you [00:14:00] can bring it into conversations with your team or collaborators when you’re ready. \nIf you’re going to do this on your own\, you would start by bringing to mind a real work situation. So a decision that you’re making or you’re grappling with\, a disagreement that you might be in\, or maybe a project where you feel pretty strongly about the right approach\, or I would say the quote unquote “right” approach. \nSo once you have a real work situation in mind\, you would start by admitting and noticing that you might not have all the information\, and I think almost across the board for almost everything\, there’s some element here that we could probably admit and notice that we may not have all of the information. \nSo you might ask yourself\, “What am I assuming here?” And\, “How sure am I really?” I would even recommend that you give yourself a number\, so for example\, “I’m 80% sure about this.” That [00:15:00] helps get you into a mindset that you’re not absolutely certain. It starts out setting you up for success\, when it comes to building your intellectual humility. \nEven if you said 95% – “I’m 95% sure I’m right about this.” 99%\, that’s not one hundred percent. That’s still setting you up for success by pointing out to yourself that you are not 100% absolutely certain. \nSo then you’re going to identify two or three limits of your knowledge in that situation. For example\, you know\, “I haven’t talked directly with the people most affected by this\, so I’m missing some information there.” \n“The data I have\,” – and this comes up quite a bit with like the American Community Survey data because it’s only updated every so many years – “We’re using old data\,” is one piece. And then\, maybe\, “I don’t fully understand all the technical constraints.” You’re not judging yourself for having limits\, you’re just getting accurate [00:16:00] about what those limits are in your knowledge. \nThe second step is to practice admitting first to yourself and then when appropriate out loud that you might be wrong or that you don’t know. So for example\, if you’re a team member or a collaborator\, you might say\, “Here’s my take\, and I’m open to being wrong.” You can literally say\, “I’m open to being wrong.” \nOr you might say\, “I feel really strongly about this\, but I know that I’m only seeing part of the picture from my perspective.” If you’re a leader\, you might say\, “I’m leaning in this direction\, but I’m not a hundred percent sure. I wanted to test this with you all.” Or you might say\, “Looking back\, I missed something last time. I’m adjusting based on what I learned\,” the act of naming it. \nIt changes the temperature in the room a little bit. It tells your own nervous system that\, “I don’t have to be perfect\,” right? Perfectionist\, unite or don’t unite. Know that you do [00:17:00] not have to be perfect\, and then it tells others that it’s safe to bring in their perspective. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. Wow. Okay. That was a lot. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: But I like it ’cause it was a good lot. Yeah\, I’m just thinking too about times where I’ve been in groups where people have said that kind of stuff where they said\, “I’m open to being wrong\,” or\, “Here’s my part that I can see. What am I missing?” And I remember that being such a wonderful invitation into sharing. \nAnd it was very much a moment where I would pause and think\, “Oh\, they actually care about what I have to say here.” So I can see that being really powerful. Bringing that kind of energy into a space. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it really is. And I think\, you know\, if “I’m open to being wrong” doesn’t sound like you\, you can find a phrase that does. I often say\, “I’m just putting this out there and let’s discuss it\,” like\, “I’m not married to [00:18:00] this. I’m happy to hear and I want to hear what you guys think.” \nSo the third step is to invite other perspectives. Intellectual humility isn’t just internal. It shows up in how you go looking for other perspectives as well. So with others who are part of your situation\, you might ask\, “What’s a reasonable argument against my view? What are you seeing that I might be missing?” \nI really like this next one: “If this plan fails\, what will we wish we had surfaced in our discussion today?” I really love that question because I think sometimes when it seems like the ideas have come out of the gate and they’re well on their way\, I think people are like\, “I don’t need to share this concern. We’re already going down the path.” \nBut asking a question like this\, “If this plan fails\, what will we wish we had surfaced in our discussion today?” really invites anyone who’s feeling a little bit off\, [00:19:00] who maybe has a different perspective or has different information that they could share\, really invites that in. \nAnd I think it’s particularly hard when people are really coalescing and excited about an idea. And there’s a person who is like\, “Oh man\, I always feel like I’m the naysayer. I always feel like I’m throwing a wrench in things.” But honestly\, I always like to tell people\, a lot of times those folks are just trying to make it the best it can possibly be. You want to invite their thoughts and their concerns. \nAnd so a question like this does that\, and I don’t want to get too complex here\, but you could also normalize asking those who may be in a meeting that seem to be skeptical\, “What would change your mind before making a final decision?” And the reason I said I don’t want to get too complex here is because it’s not too complex to add a question to the end of your discussion before making a decision that would change your mind. \nBut a lot of times I’ve seen this done where a group kind of employs a little bit of a voting [00:20:00] system. The idea that I wrote down here in our notes is “Fist to Five\,” which is: holding up a fist means\, “I absolutely am not interested in going down the path of this decision.” And then a five is like super enthusiastic\, “At all costs\, I want us to go down that path.” And then\, you know\, there’s 1\, 2\, 3\, 4. \nIf someone’s a fist and they absolutely do not like this idea. I think that’s where the question of\, “What would change your mind?” becomes really powerful. It invites them to share what they’re most concerned about with this. And it gives you potentially some time to respond to that and find some common ground. \nSo like I said\, I don’t want to make it complex and I just made it more complex. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You did. But that’s okay. It was a helpful example\, and I think what I’m really hearing from you discussing this is that step three is really about making sure you’re not just paying lip [00:21:00] service to the idea\, but actually being open and actually inviting people into poking holes into your ideas\, your precious babies\, your ideas that are perfect and wonderful. \nYou want people to actually take you serious about giving you feedback. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And I love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I mean\, that’s where the growth happens\, and it can feel really uncomfortable\, which is why I also suggest that you get to know how you feel when you’re saying things like\, “I might be wrong\,” or how you feel when you ask others for their view on an idea you just shared. \nSo\, however you feel\, you know\, whether that’s anxious or annoyed or relieved\, you don’t have to fix that. Just be really aware of it\, and just know that those feelings will be happening when you are asking these questions of others. Allow yourself to accept that\, so that you can remain open. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, it makes sense. This is a [00:22:00] pretty brave\, courageous thing to do. We talk about vulnerability a lot\, but I think actually choosing to say\, “Hey\, tell me what I’m wrong about\,” is a very exciting thing for someone to do. Like to see somebody do I imagine it is hard and\, and you’ve kind of talked about that\, but it makes sense. \nYou might have all these feelings and your body’s just telling you like\, “Hey\, this is riskier than some of the things you’ve done before.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, but that doesn’t mean resist doing it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: It doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad thing. It just means it’s different\, right. We’re going to talk about that more on another episode\, or else this is going to get too long. \nBut I’m really excited to apply it in my life. And thank you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You’re so welcome. And it was my pleasure as always. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: All right. That’s it for this episode. If you liked this episode\, please share it with a friend or a colleague. In the meantime\, we’ll be back with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:23:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/humble-on-purpose/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260305T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260305T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260305T110037Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260327T213252Z
UID:10001746-1772690400-1772730000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Everyday Practices for Organizational Resilience
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODc1ODQwMSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg3NTg0MDEtZXZlcnlkYXktcHJhY3RpY2VzLWZvci1vcmdhbml6YXRpb25hbC1yZXNpbGllbmNlLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTg3NTg0MDElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 9) \nResilience at work isn’t only about how much each of us can handle. It’s also about how our systems anticipate challenges\, respond to them\, and make space to recover and learn.  \nWhat changes when we start asking\, “How resilient is our organization?” instead of only\, “How resilient am I?” \nResilience is often framed as an individual trait\, but it’s also a property of our organizations – how they anticipate disruption\, respond to it\, and support recovery. \nIn this Practicing Connection practicast\, Erin and Jessica unpack what organizational resilience is\, where the idea comes from\, and how it shows up in our everyday work lives. \nDrawing on Shanna B. Tiayon’s four-phase framework: anticipatory\, preparatory\, responsive\, and recovery\, they share a simple set of reflection questions you can use after a hectic week\, a tricky meeting\, or a small crisis. \nYou don’t need a formal role or a big debrief to try it; just choose one phase\, ask one question\, and start noticing the change. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nShanna B. Tiayon\, PhD article: “What Does Organizational Resilience Look Like?“\nHandout: Four Phases of Organizational Resilience \nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]ERIN CARLSON RIVERA: [00:00:00] Organizational resilience helps us create workplaces that can bend without breaking\, places that protect people’s wellbeing\, while still navigating change\, uncertainty\, and even crisis. \nHi everyone\, welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection practicast. I’m Erin. Today we’re exploring organizational resilience: what it is\, where it comes from\, why it matters for you and your organization\, and one simple practice you can try with your team. \nMy co-host\, Jessica Beckendorf\, will walk us through that practice in a bit. Hi Jessica. How are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I am great. I am so interested in the conversation we were just having outside of this recording\, about boredom\, and how I’ve never been bored\, and I’m super curious. Maybe there’s some connection to our group and we can explore it in the future. \nBut I am feeling super\, super curious about that now\, and I can’t wait for the two of us to talk more about that in the future. I didn’t really [00:01:00] add a lot to the conversation here\, but I’m – I’ve never been bored. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I cannot imagine that. I love boredom\, because that’s where my most creative things happen\, when I’m bored. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. And maybe we’re thinking of boredom differently\, like maybe boredom is meaning something different to us\, \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. Okay. Sorry guys. We will circle back later\, I’m sure. But I love that. Yeah. Okay\, sounds like you’re energized by talking to people. So let’s keep talking. \nWhat is organizational resilience? What does that mean? Tell me more. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I would say that when most of us hear resilience\, we think about individual grit or bouncing back from stress\, but specific to individuals. \nOrganizational resilience shifts the focus from\, ‘What can this one person endure?’ which sounds like a terrible question\, to\, ‘How does the whole organization anticipate\, absorb\, and recover from [00:02:00] disruption?’ \nAnd I say organization here\, but I’m also talking about community groups\, volunteer groups\, coalitions\, any time there’s a group of people who are working together on something: how do they anticipate\, absorb\, and recover from disruption? \nSo instead of asking people just to like\, “Tough it out\,” we’re asking whether our structures\, our policies\, and our group culture or organizational culture help or harm us when things get really difficult. \nOne way I really like to think about organizational resilience is about how the system bends without breaking\, so that the people within it don’t have to carry all the strain. It asks questions like\, “Did we see the risks early on? Do we have backup plans? Do we learn from our mistakes?” A bigger lens is what makes it so powerful. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. Wow\, that sounds great. I certainly think most of us have worked in places that call people [00:03:00] ‘resilient’ when what they actually mean is\, ‘still standing after being overworked.’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And overwhelmed. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And overwhelmed. And there’s this idea that that’s something laudable. And I think it is cool when people are able to persevere through hard things\, but it’s also sad if we see someone persevering through a hard thing and then we do nothing to support them. \nSo it sounds like organizational leadership is a little bit about how do we show up better for each other structurally? Am I\, am I on the right track? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You are\, and you’re actually reminding me right now of a training I took early in my career. So this was\, hmm\, probably two decades ago\, where I went to a time management for public employees. At the time I was working at a local government\, and it was a really great training. \nBut one of the things that came out of it is\, how do public employees often get rewarded when they’re doing a really [00:04:00] good job? And the answer was\, ‘It’s with more work.’ \nAnd so\, yeah\, what you’re saying is making sense to me. And I wanted to bring this topic up on the podcast after reading an article on the Greater Good Magazine site. \nThe article was by Shanna B. Tiayon. The article is titled\, What Does Organizational Resilience Look Like? And in the article\, the author describes organizational resilience as\, ‘The strength of the organization’s structures\, decisions\, and leadership behaviors that reduce the frequency and impact of crises.’ \nI love this because it’s all about building conditions where crises are possibly less frequent and especially less damaging. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, that sounds great. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. The author breaks organizational resilience into four parts: anticipatory\, preparatory\, responsive\, and recovery. Anticipatory is about noticing early warning signs. [00:05:00] Preparatory is about putting supports and plans in place. Responsive is how you actually act during a disturbance. And recovery is what you do after the disruption passes\, how you let people in systems reset and learn instead of just kind of pushing forward as if nothing happened. \nAnd I do think it’s very common for organizations to just keep pushing forward as if nothing happened. I’ve seen it many times. One of the things that struck me about this framework is how much it reminded me of the framework we talked about in the past\, from the Tamarack Institute\, called the Asset-Based Community Recovery Framework for Communities. \nThey’re similar models\, but they deal with a different scale\, right? The Tamarack one deals with community scale\, and this framework is dealing with an organizational scale. Honestly\, I think that both can be applied at both of those scales\, but I just thought\,  there’s support out there for organizations\, for communities to assess and recover from crises. \nAnd [00:06:00] whatever one resonates the most with you\, you’ve got multiple options. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, this is exciting. I love how practical this framing feels. Those four categories feel really great to me\, and I guess I’m curious about\, where does the idea of organizational resilience come from? Resilience feels like such a buzzword. Does it come from that buzzword? \nDoes it have deeper roots? How did they land at ‘resilience’? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it definitely has deeper roots. Organizational resilience draws from fields like disaster management and organizational psychologies\, places where people have studied why some organizations navigate shocks like financial crises\, supply chain disruptions\, natural disasters\, or sudden changes in demand. \nAnd what they found is that resilient organizations don’t just\, quote-unquote “bounce back” by working harder. They do their best to anticipate risks. \nThey have thought out strategies. [00:07:00] They maintain flexible resources\, and importantly\, they learn from what happens\, right? They don’t just keep going after something happens. \nAnd then more recent work also emphasizes learning and communication. Things we talk about quite a bit on the podcast\, like psychological safety\, open information sharing\, and reflective practices\, because those things help organizations adapt thoughtfully rather than just reacting in panic. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay\, so this is also about being smarter and more intentional as a group\, as a collective. What kind of impact does using this framework have on people and workplaces? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that you asked this question. This is where the real impact is evident. As you might imagine\, organizational resilience is tied to better performance during crises and less chaos for the people who are working within the group or the [00:08:00] organization. \nResilient organizations are also more likely to maintain essential functions to adapt their strategies when things go off track\, instead of just breaking down or overreacting. And they also tend to have better communication\, more clear decision making and more trust among the members. There’s also some evidence that when organizations employ good planning\, clear roles and supportive policies\, employees experience less burnout and emotional exhaustion during crises. \nSo it not only helps an organization continue operations to employ\, you know\, these four different phases of organizational resilience\, but it can help protect people’s mental health\, because the system is designed to absorb more of the shock\, instead of the people having to individually absorb it. \nSo I also want to be really clear: you don’t have to have a big title or a leadership role to contribute to organizational resilience. You still have [00:09:00] influence\, you can shape how your team runs meetings\, how they handle conflicts\, and how they learn from mistakes. Those small choices can quietly model resilience for the broader organization. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I love that bringing it down to a team level makes it feel much more actionable and much more accessible for someone who maybe isn’t in a formal leadership position. \nSpeaking of action\, we talk about practices on this podcast. So Jessica\, can you talk us through the practice that you brought today? \nI’m excited. I wanna hear how to do this. This sounds great. I have been a person who has\, in other jobs\, I have absorbed stress that maybe could have been in an organization\, and I want to hear how we can do that. Like\, that sounds great. Let’s go. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Great. Well\, this practice combines elements of after-action reviews\, which is a way of reviewing an action or a [00:10:00] project after it has occurred\, in a very nonjudgmental way. \nbut this practice combines that style with the four phases of organizational resilience that I mentioned earlier: the anticipatory preparatory\, responsive and recovery. \nIt was designed as a way to bring an organizational resilience lens into everyday moments that you already have\, no matter your position at your organization or in your team. \nSo to start\, think of a recent disturbance of some sort. Maybe it was something like\, it’s just a hectic week. You had 24 hours of meetings. I’ve had that myself. Maybe you have told me before that my schedule gives you hives sometimes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. You have so many back to back meetings. It makes me die on the inside. Okay\, so we’re talking about hectic weeks. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So maybe it was a hectic week. Maybe it was a tricky meeting\, you know\, there’s a little tension in the meeting\, or it was really rushed. Maybe it was a last minute request that was difficult [00:11:00] to deal with\, or it was even a small crisis. \nSo think of a recent disturbance\, and then move through the four phases with a few questions that I’ll share in a moment. You don’t have to answer all these questions\, we give you a variety of questions so that you can pick what is most relevant to your situation. Just pick the one that resonates or the ones that resonate for you and are appropriate for the situation. \nSo\, the questions for the anticipatory phase: this is about did we see it coming\, right? You’re looking at identifying what the early signals were. So you might ask yourself\, “What early signs did I\, or we\, have that this could become challenging\, where we identified that this could become challenging?” Maybe you might ask\, “What did I notice but not say out loud?” \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: “If I could rewind\, what small signal would I pay more attention to next time?” \nSo these questions can help you build the skill of noticing [00:12:00] weak signals and speaking up sooner\, which really helps build anticipatory resilience. \nPreparatory phase: This is about assessing\, “Were we set up well?” You’re looking to uncover how prepared you were. So you might ask\, “What supports or resources made this easier?” Things like information\, relationships\, processes\, tools. “Where did I or we feel unprepared or under-resourced?” And then\, “What is one thing I could put in place right now?” Maybe it’s a checklist\, a template\, a connection with a key person to be better prepared for next time. So even small shifts in preparation can make a really big difference for the next challenge. \nAnd then the responsive phase\, this is about\, “How did we act in the moment?” It’s about assessing how you and others responded when the thing was happening. So here you might ask\, “When did our response feel clear and coordinated?[00:13:00] What helped that happen? When did things feel chaotic or reactive? What was missing in those moments?” And then\, “How did I show up under pressure? What am I proud of and what would I like to do differently next time?” \nI wanted to emphasize here\, not because I’m putting it all on the individual\, but I want to emphasize it because you don’t have to be in a leadership position and trying to solve this thing for your whole team. You could also model for your team members by making small shifts yourself\, right? So this helps you learn from your real behavior under stress\, not just your intentions. \nAnd then finally\, the recovery phase. “Did we actually recover and learn?” So this phase is about learning from what happened after the situation. You might ask\, “Did I or we get any time or space to recover after this\, or did we go straight to the next thing? What would meaningful recovery have looked like for me and for [00:14:00] others involved?” And then\, “What is one small adjustment I can make going forward?” Maybe it’s a boundary\, a short debrief with someone or with yourself\, a check-in so that recovery and learning aren’t skipped next time. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. Those were great questions. There were a couple that I had to mute because I was doing like a\, “Ooh\, that’s a good one” noise. And I was like\, “No\, I want people to hear the questions\, not me responding to the questions!” \nI also think something I really appreciate about these is that they’re very flexible. You know\, there’s a lot that you can get into with these questions. So for someone who’s listening\, and thinking\, “That feels like a lot\,” what’s the smallest possible way to try this out? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that’s a good question. And like I said\, you don’t have to answer all of those questions. But the smallest version is to pick one phase and one [00:15:00] question. \nSo for example\, after a particularly hectic day\, you might ask\, “What early sign did I ignore today?” For me\, because I have some experience with this one\, that might be that\, “I said yes to following up on some items today before noticing that my calendar was full.” Or after a big meeting\, so maybe you were facilitating\, which requires a lot of energy and preparation\, or maybe it was just a difficult meeting you might ask\, “What would recovery look like for me after this? \nAnd both of these examples can start to shift how you think about your organization and your role in it\, and how you show up in it too\, right? \nSo\, if you ask yourself\, “What would recovery look like for me after this?” If you’re facilitating a big meeting\, you’re in charge of planning that meeting or bringing everyone through the discussion. And that takes a lot of emotional and mental labor for you. Don’t allow anything to be scheduled for right after that meeting. Maybe you just need some [00:16:00] down time. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: We love buffer time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Buffer time. I love this\, buffer time. That’s what I mean by that. And then I want to emphasize\, right\, those are two very individual things that you can do\, but you can also bring one of these questions gently into existing spaces\, right? \nYou could ask some of these questions during a meeting while discussing a recent project or issue. You don’t have to make it a big formal session where you’re gonna go through all four phases. You can just kind of seed a bit of this thinking into what’s already happening. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I love that. That feels very accessible. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Awesome. Okay. Well thank you so much for walking us through this\, Jessica. I found this really encouraging\, I’m excited to get started using some of these questions\, and I’m hoping other people are too. \nSo we’re going to make a handout that you can link to in the show notes\, so you don’t have to re-listen to this podcast every time you want to engage with these [00:17:00] questions. \nHopefully you guys are all as excited as we are. Thank you everyone for listening. Consider trying this with something that’s already on your plate\, a project\, a meeting\, or a challenging week\, and see what you notice. \nWe’d love to hear how it goes and what you learn. You can share with us by emailing practicing connection@oneop.org. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/everyday-practices-for-organzational-resilience/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260226T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260226T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260226T110015Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260226T151919Z
UID:10001736-1772085600-1772125200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Collaboration in Action: Serving Military Families through Strengthening Communities
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODcyMTE3OSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg3MjExNzktY29sbGFib3JhdGlvbi1pbi1hY3Rpb24tc2VydmluZy1taWxpdGFyeS1mYW1pbGllcy10aHJvdWdoLXN0cmVuZ3RoZW5pbmctY29tbXVuaXRpZXMuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODcyMTE3OSUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 9) \nHow does a small North Carolina city become a national example of collaboration between military and community?  \nMayor Will Lewis says it starts with relationships – and a willingness to show up for one another. \nIn this episode\, Jessica Beckendorf talks with Havelock\, North Carolina Mayor Will Lewis about what it looks like when a city and an installation grow together. \nAs president of Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow\, Mayor Lewis helps connect community\, education\, and military partners to strengthen opportunities for service members\, veterans\, and local families alike. \nTheir conversation explores how collaboration\, communication\, and long‑term vision can build lasting readiness at every level. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nVisit the ACT website: https://alliesforcherrypoint.com/\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][Jessica Beckendorf]: Welcome to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. In this episode\, we’re spotlighting a community that has made partnership a central theme\, Havelock\, North Carolina. \nHavelock sits just outside Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point\, which also happens to be one of the largest employers in the region. It’s a place where the city\, the installation\, schools\, and local employers work hand in hand to support service members\, veterans\, and their families. \nThat kind of collaboration does not happen by accident. It takes leadership\, people\, time\, and a deep commitment to community well-being. Our guest today knows that work inside and out. Mayor Will Lewis has served the city of Havelock for nearly two decades\, building strong bridges between the city and the installation. During this time\, he has championed education\, STEM outreach\, and open communication across civilian and military sectors\, all while maintaining typical mayor duties\, like attending community events\, community engagement\, and working to make Havelock stronger. \nMayor Will also leads Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow\, or ACT\, an organization that began years ago with a single mission: to protect the Fleet Readiness Center East during a round of base realignment. But ACT has since evolved into a nonprofit that uplifts the installation and the surrounding region. So today\, ACT convenes partners to expand access to engineering education\, to grow local employment opportunities\, and create pathways for transitioning veterans\, all with an eye toward long-term community and family readiness. \nThat is quite the introduction. Mayor Will\, welcome to the podcast. It’s such a pleasure to have you here. \n[Will Lewis]: Hey\, Jessica\, thank you for having me. I’m honored to be on your podcast. I’m going to do my best to make that intro do some justice to it. Thank you for that. That was awesome. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Well\, we’ve already had a couple of off-air conversations\, and I fully believe all of the things that we said about you. So let’s get started with the first thing I wanted to ask you\, was that\, you know\, you’ve served as the mayor of Havelock for nearly two decades\, and now you lead Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow. \nWhen you think about your journey\, what personal values or experiences have most shaped how you show up for military families and the broader community? \n[Will Lewis]: Well\, I mean\, it has been\, this is my 21st year total. I did eight years as a commissioner on the board and this number 13 as mayor. So 21 years\, as you said\, for the city. \nAnd\, you know\, I think like most people who get in a position\, whether for local service\, like local government\, it is about service and it’s about people. It’s about the people in your community. So I grew up here in Havelock. And I’ve been surrounded by Marines and all of our local citizens the whole time. I just wanted to give back. \nSo when I first ran\, the thought was\, “I’m just going to be able to help some people\, whether it’s getting a stop sign right or\, you know\, fixing potholes in a street\, whatever that might be.” I really didn’t know when I first joined the board that there would be this whole component with Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point and taking care of Marines. \nAnd I grew into that. And you kind of saw it a little bit. It’s like when you grow up here\, I tell everybody\, like\, “We’re so fortunate. We live with everyday heroes.” Like\, you’re pumping your gas\, you look over and the person next to you is about to deploy or is training to deploy. We’re a very operational base. \nSo like\, man\, we live with people that protect our freedom. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Yeah. \n[Will Lewis]: So it starts simple\, like just seeing them at a local event and talking to them\, and making them feel welcome when they’re brand new\, because they change out every three years. Making them feel welcome. Then it grew into ways that we can actually affect their lives\, things that we can do for them to make their lives better. So I don’t know that there was like any one thing or activity\, or like realization. It kind of grows on you if you stay here long enough\, I guess. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Oh\, no\, that makes so much sense. And it seems like as it grew on you\, though\, you all had\, maybe it wasn’t a realization\, maybe it just was sort of a baby steps kind of thing that kind of built on each other. But it seems like you realized\, “Oh\, wait\, working together kind of floats all the boats or gets all of the planes in the air\,” however\, whatever metaphor you want to use there. But working together actually helps the wider region. \n[Will Lewis]: Yes. And I think I was fortunate enough to come along when that realization was happening. Maybe just the right place\, right time. Because for a long time\, the world of defense was\, it was always like the base did its thing and the community did their thing. \nAnd then there was like\, you intermingled\, you know\, we all played sports together and whatnot\, but we didn’t think about things like infrastructure together. We didn’t think about water supply. We didn’t think about sewer. We didn’t think about\, “What you can do as a larger community to protect families when their spouse deploys overseas?” \nAnd I think I was at the right place\, right time that all that conversation was starting. And we were able to be a part of that and grow with that thought. So as that thought process grew over the 20 years\, the City of Havelock has just been invested to grow that same way. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Oh\, yeah. And so when you look across Havelock\, the Marine Corps\, Air Station Cherry Point\, and the surrounding region\, you’ve kind of started to allude to this\, but how do you see the military family readiness system operating in real life? Like\, who are the key players? And how do they work together to support service members and their families? You’ve started to mention that they’re doing it\, but yeah\, how do you see this operating? \n[Will Lewis]: Well\, there’s a lot of partners\, right? So I should disclaim by saying anybody I accidentally forget\, you can blame it on my brain\, not on my heart. Because there’s so many ways to help take care of your installation. \nSo ACT\, Allies for Cherry Points Tomorrow\, we really represent a four-county region. So we have Craven\, Carteret\, Pamlico\, and Jones counties. And then all the municipalities that sit in those\, they all participate with ACT. And there’s so many ways that we do it\, all the way from\, for example\, all of our chambers of commerce all have a military affairs commission. And those military affairs commissions do things like service person of the quarter\, where a command recommends somebody and writes a write-up of what they’re doing in the community\, and how they’re volunteering and why they deserve to be service person of the quarter. \nAnd then we do a big lunch and all our local businesses come together\, and they donate things to that person to thank them for what they’ve done in our community in their short time here. And they do things like\, we do these chicken pickings on the base where you pick a squadron\, you go over and you just cook a whole bunch of chickens\, and everybody comes and eats chicken and hangs out with the Marines. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: That sounds like fun. That sounds like a good time. \n[Will Lewis]: They’re a blast. And every chamber has a piece in that. So it happens multiple times a year. I call that like the morale and welfare piece of it. \nBut it goes even\, like\, our schools\, like every one of our schools in Craven County or in Havelock in particular\, we all have a squadron assigned to us. So when they do field day\, the Marines come out and do field day with the kids and the teachers get to meet those Marines. And if they do science night\, they come out and spend time with the kids doing the experiments. So it’s at every level like that. \nAnd it goes all the way up to what I would say the most advanced levels\, which are us as a community trying to understand their needs\, whether it’s inside the installation or out in the community\, and then trying to provide those. \nAnd that could be anything from – perfect example: we didn’t have lacrosse in Eastern North Carolina when I was a kid. Nobody played lacrosse. That was like a Northeast thing. But you get all these Marine families that come here and they came from the Northeast. “Why is there no lacrosse here? We played lacrosse when we were in Maryland\,” or wherever. And the city evolves in that and the community decides\, “Oh\, we do need a lacrosse league.” \nAnd guess who our coaches are\, right? There are all these Marines that have moved here and understand lacrosse. And then our local kids get involved in that. And now we have lacrosse everywhere\, including even at the high school. And so I think the little pieces like that\, because it’s I say in Havelock especially\, you can’t separate Cherry Point and Havelock. We’re like completely intertwined\, right. \nBut even our entire region now is completely intertwined into that. And when everyone’s thinking about what they’re going to do\, they include\, how does this impact the military? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it something they want? \nSo there’s a million ways. And it’s everybody from school systems\, community colleges\, Allies for Cherry Point’s Tomorrow\, chambers of commerce\, even the municipalities themselves\, right. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Wow. Yeah\, that’s one of the reasons why we like doing episodes like this\, where we are uplifting stories of the military family readiness system in action\, like what’s happening in Havelock. We hope that whether you’ve got a Marine Corps air station right next door or not\, we hope that people in communities will ask\, “How might this issue impact military families in our area?” Even if it isn’t the biggest employer in the area\, even if it’s almost invisible. \nAnd we also hope that the folks who are on installations will ask\, “How is the community already addressing certain issues?” And it sounds like you guys really have that relationship down. You’re coming together and you’re making decisions together and you’re doing it in a way that is not just coordinated\, but it’s integrated into everything you do. \n[Will Lewis]: Absolutely\, Jessica\, even our planning committees and our technical advisory committees\, we include people from the installation on that. So we’re talking about traffic or projects. They can give us input to say that’s how it would affect us\, or we think that’s a good idea\, etc. \nAnd I think a lot of it\, it’s because Havelock and Marine Corps Air Station grew together. Like a lot of communities already existed. They were already incorporated. And then a military installation came. For us\, we were here as a community since the 1700s\, 1800s\, but we didn’t even incorporate till 1959. And the base came here in 1942. As the base was growing its identity\, Havelock was growing ours. \nAnd so\, I mean\, it’s kind of like growing up with your brother or your sister. You get a little piece of them whether you want to or not because you’re all growing up together. And I think that’s what made us unique. \nAnd I didn’t know we were unique\, Jessica\, I just thought that was normal. Growing up here\, I just thought every community and their base had that exact same relationship. And it wasn’t until we got involved with the Association of Defense Communities that we realized… that it isn’t. That it is kind of unique. It’s not that way everywhere. \nAnd we’ve tried to do our best to explain how we do what we do and give them a little bit of the magic sauce\, so that other communities can benefit. Because a lot of people look at it as a challenge. I look at it as this complete and total benefit that we have all these Marines and their families and sailors and their families here. It benefits us dramatically\, makes us better as a community. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Yes. Wow\, I really appreciate that comment. So the city and the base grew together\, but also ACT\, the Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow\, started as an effort to save the Fleet Readiness Center East\, right? During\, I know the acronym is BRAC\, but I cannot remember what it stands for. \n[Will Lewis]: Base Realignment and Closure. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Thank you. And because it’s since become a nonprofit focused on strengthening both the installation and the community. So I’m wondering\, can you share a moment\, and maybe the answer is no\, there is no moment\, it just was a lot of little things that happened over time. But can you share a moment when you realized that ACT’s work was about more than one decision point\, you know\, saving the Fleet Readiness Center East – that it was about building long-term community infrastructure for military families? \n[Will Lewis]: I can talk about when the moment was for me. So I’ve been a part of ACT for\, I guess I’m right at 11 or 12 years on the ACT board. And it was some great individuals that started it long before that in the 90s when you’re talking about them. \nSpecifically\, it got larger around that the whole community coming together to protect Fleet Readiness Center East aboard Cherry Point. But I know that sometimes those decisions were opportunity driven\, and that was ours. So we always knew that we had to advocate on behalf of Cherry Point for the readiness and the mission and making sure that that was all as healthy as it could be. \nBut for me\, it was when the school system came to us at Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow and we were heavily deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. And they came to us during the month of April\, which is the month of the military child\, they came to Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow. \nAnd they said\, “We do these deployment boxes.” And it was\, this box was kind of a lot of\, every branch I think has them\, but it’s got a teddy bear in it in uniform. And then it’s got some stationary to mail back and forth\, and some other things. There’s a book in there\, and it’s to help kids whose parents have to go deploy and go to war. And the school system came to us at ACT\, and I was pretty new on the board and they said\, “Hey\, we’ve got a lot of deployed military right now. We want to get more of these deployment boxes and we don’t have the budget. How could we partner to do this thing?” \nAnd that was when I think it flipped a switch in me that was like\, ‘oh\, we can do more.’ And then I feel like every year it’s like\, we can do more\, we can do more\, we can do more. So we’re always just looking for more\, right. But that was what I realized. Maybe it’s not just about advocacy. It’s also about as a community\, what do we do that kind of rings out bigger and across everybody\, and including these young people because we all\, you know\, a lot of times we forget about the kids. They’re dealing with that deployment just like that spouse that got left behind while they were gone is dealing with it. That was kind of the moment for me that I realized ACT could be a bigger impact in the community even. \nAnd that turned into just constant evolution over the last 10 years. And it’s been everything from us doing the deployment boxes to kick all that off. But then it grew into us providing scholarships at the local community colleges for transitioning military and their families. It grew into a star base. It’s leaps and bounds over the last decade from the idea of just like\, “What’s next? What can we do? How can we do more?” \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Wow. Well\, I mean\, I feel like you’ve already expanded on\, you just gave a whole bunch of great examples of this\, but I’m wondering if you have sort of a favorite example of an initiative where you saw\, maybe it was through ACT\, maybe it was through some other initiative where you saw municipal\, educational\, and military partners come together in a way that really improved readiness for families? \n[Will Lewis]: Sure. The most recent example\, literally\, like the kids actually started this week and I’m going to get super excited. So if I go on too long\, Jessica\, just tell me. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: No\, I want to hear this. I want to hear all the details! \n[Will Lewis]: So we transitioned from a C6 to a C3. As a C6\, we were just an advocacy nonprofit\, but then we became a true nonprofit. And that was really spurred by that moment when it was like\, we want to do these deployment boxes. If we want to do more\, we’ve got to be a real nonprofit\, not just a government advocacy nonprofit. That led to some scholarship things that we do through our C3 for transitioning military\, which have been hugely successful. \nWe’ve raised almost $40\,000 over the last two years. They go directly to our community colleges. We have three of them. And it is for transitioning military\, specifically for things they might want to learn or get a certificate in\, or a degree in that is not covered by the GI Bill. And so workforce items and things like that. And it’s been wildly successful. But the most recent one where everybody came\, this is the one with the most partners. And if you’ve heard of DoD Starbase\, or if you’ve ever heard of – \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Starbase. From you\, I think\, from our last conversation\, yeah. \n[Will Lewis]: So it’s a project or it’s a program within manpower part of the department. And it’s been going on since\, I’m going to say the early nineties\, I want to say the first Starbase started\, but it is a fifth grade STEM education outreach program that is co-located with a military installation. It’s funded through the department. \nAnd then you have a local nonprofit that runs the money and provides STEM education. It’s predominantly for Title I schools\, but it can be for any schools after you get through your Title I schools. And we’ve never had one here. And there are 90 of them across the country\, but there never been one in Eastern North Carolina. FRC East\, which is located aboard Cherry Point\, they have a really big STEM outreach into the community. They go to schools and they have a fab lab they bring around\, and they kind of show kids STEM and try to get them excited. \nSo FRC East was like\, “We need a star base. We’ve got to have a star base.” So we all got in this room about two years ago and it was FRC East. It was our Marine Corps Station Cherry Point leadership. It was Allies for Cherry Points Tomorrow and some school folks. And we said\, “How do we make this happen?” \nSo we filled out an application. We got letters from all of our congressmen\, senators\, both state and federal\, and even our governor got letters from our military affairs commission\, our local superintendents\, and we flooded the department with letters. And eventually they said\, “Yes\, we’re going to make you a Starbase.” \nThere was some funding issues\, always is\, right? Never enough funding to do everything everybody wants to do. But this past year\, they got enough funding to actually start a Starbase here. And so where the real partnership happened was FRC is trying to make this thing happen. They have to have a nonprofit step in to run the money. Well\, ACT’s never been a government contractor. That’s not what we do. But they came to us and they said\, “We think you’re the perfect partner. You’re focused on our kids in the community. You’re focused on our kids in the military. You’re focused on our mission. Would you be willing to partner?” \nAnd so my board said\, “Yeah\, let’s do this thing. Let’s figure it out.” So over about an eight week period with the help of FRC East and the station\, and then we had to kind of go on our own to do the actual government contract. We write the contract submission. We turned it in. It got approved. We worked out a contract. And as of October 1\, we officially have a star base. \nBut to make that happen\, to get these kids in there\, it’s just I can go on and on about the opportunity for the kids because I think it’s an amazing opportunity. But to do it\, it took the command at Fleet Readiness Center East. It took the command at Marine Corps Station Cherry Point. It took Allies for Cherry Points Tomorrow. It took every one of our four school systems\, superintendents and deputy superintendents in charge of curriculum or whatever their title was in each one. It took the buy-in of the principals of those schools because we’re asking them to give us fifth graders for five days\, to get 25 hours of curriculum. That’s a lot of time out of the school building. And so we had to kind of help them understand how exciting this opportunity would be. \nIt is rigorous\, exciting\, unique STEM education that they get to go do hands-on. They call it ‘Hands-on\, minds-on\,’ which – I love that phrase. So they’re literally like building dragsters and making boats out of clay\, and trying to understand all these STEM concepts. And they get to go on the Marine Corps installation to do that as a field trip. They go on the installation to this building that’s dedicated for the Star Base. \nWe even included our community college because Allies for Cherry Point’s Tomorrow had to hire all the teachers and instructors and the director. We don’t have a big employee payroll. So we went to our community college and we partnered with them and they came in and they actually hired them for us. And then they work for ACT. And we have this huge partnership with all of those folks. \nSo you’re talking about eight or ten partners across all these spectrums that had to come together over a very short period of time. So we were awarded October 1. We had kids in the building February 17th. So over October\, November\, December\, and January\, we literally built an entire schoolhouse as a team\, all of us together. And that included furniture\, fixtures\, equipment\, iPads\, computers. Curriculum\, you name it. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Did the curriculum have to be written? \n[Will Lewis]: So the department provides the curriculum. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Oh\, okay\, good. \n[Will Lewis]: But the curriculum\, Jessica\, is massive because they want it to work for any installation. You get to go through the curriculum and pick which ones you want to utilize. And then you’re allowed to customize them to what you do as an organization. \nSo we obviously are focused on some aviation and fabrication type stuff because of what we do. And then we get to kind of tweak the stuff\, but we have to follow that curriculum. So just going through the curriculum for the director and the instructors was a Herculean task to do in a short period of time\, because once they decided what they had to do\, then we had to order all the materials and get them here in time so they could practice. \nSo when the kids walked in the building\, everything would be just right. We were in the building the day before they came in until\, you know\, six o’clock that evening and the weekend before just making sure everything was perfect. So those kids would have a phenomenal experience. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Oh\, and by the way\, in that four-month period of time\, there were also a couple of holidays that a lot of people take off for. \n[Will Lewis]: Yeah\, Thanksgiving\, Christmas. We had a little government shutdown in the middle of all that. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Oh yeah\, we did a little bit\, just a little one. \n[Will Lewis]: Yeah\, right? So all of that combined to make it quite a challenge. We would have never gotten it done. I mean\, there’s no way ACT could have done that. There’s no way FRC could have done it. There’s no way the college could have done it. \nBut all of us coming together\, we pulled this thing off. We are now\, right now\, the only active Marine Corps star base in the country. There’s 90 of them. We’re the only Marine Corps one. There are two other ones in North Carolina. They’re at National Guard locations\, one in Wilmington and one in Charlotte. But we’re the only Marine Corps one. And we got our first kids in this week. And so far it has been phenomenal. And the kids are absolutely loving it\, which has made it all worth all the effort that everybody put in. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Well\, I’m excited that I’m getting to talk to you during the week that this huge initiative is launching because that’s not only a huge task to get done in that short period of time\, but also you must be immensely proud. You and all of the people involved must be so proud. \n[Will Lewis]: Oh\, incredibly. And just the idea that all of our school systems can bring their fifth graders there\, it doesn’t cost them a dime. They just have to come up with the ability to bus them there. And then we provide everything else. \nSo you’re talking about kids that may never get to experience that level of STEM\, get to now come and experience it for 25 hours with people that are super passionate and excited about STEM. \nI would say we’re literally changing lives\, Jessica. There’s going to be at least some kid out of the 1\,800\, by the way\, that we’re going to serve over the next year\, 1\,800 kids\, you know\, at least one\, probably a hundred are going to be like\, “Oh my gosh\, I didn’t know that this was an option\,“ right. \nAnd we have a lot of opportunity for those jobs here with FRC East\, Fleet Riding Center East\, and obviously the Marine Corps and the Navy side of what happens here. So a lot of opportunity for them to then find a career path that keeps them in Eastern North Carolina and gets them excited about STEM. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: And you just touched on the next question I was going to ask you\, is what do you hope will happen in the future? You know\, sort of what are those future outcomes that you hope will happen? And it sounds like one of them is\, ‘Hey\, we really hope that we can not only help some kids find something they’re really passionate about\, they really want to pursue\, but also that they’ll be able to actually pursue that right here at home.’ \n[Will Lewis]: Yes\, ma’am. And so if you don’t mind\, I’ll tell you a little bit about it. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: I don’t mind any of this. Please continue. We’ve talked already. You know I’m riding the wave. I love it. \n[Will Lewis]: So we have\, I think the thing that Eastern North Carolina has done really\, really well is create this sort of STEM ecosystem for kids to go through from starting in fourth grade all the way through high school and even into college. And it started with this organization called the Eastern Carolina Aviation Heritage Foundation. That is a long name. We call the ECAF for short\, but it’s a wing of the city and we started it. I was a commissioner at the time and my mayor assigned me to go over there and help start this ECAF thing. \nWe did not know at the time we would become what we are. We basically are a small museum with some airplanes and some cool stuff for kids to come see and interact with. That’s about the heritage of Cherry Point and Havelock. But what it turned into was we were the first STEM summer camp for fourth through sixth graders in Eastern North Carolina because we realized there was not one. By the time they’re in middle school\, eighth grade\, ninth grade or whatever\, it’s almost too late to get them excited about something new. You want to start a little earlier. \nSo we started this camp and we do 50\, 60 kids. We’ve done as many as 80\, depending on the year. Always have a waiting list. It’s competitive to get into it. And we run this camp through the Havelock\, through our foundation. Well\, then NC State\, North Carolina State University\, land-grant university. I’m a graduate of the North Carolina State University myself. They put a satellite location here in Havelock at our local community college where you can get a four-year degree in mechanical engineering systems. They did that to serve the base. \nSo the base kept asking them\, “How can we get engineers here faster? Because we have over a thousand engineers over there at Cherry Point.” And so they built that system. And so then there was this gap in the middle and the community college stepped up\, and they run a sixth through eighth grade camp. And then we run a high school camp with a partnership with NC State. And then you can get your four-year degree here. So in fourth grade\, if you go to a STEM camp and you’re like\, ‘this is my path\,’ then over the last decade\, you’ve been able to go to a camp every year and get more and more enhanced STEM. \nAnd all those camps work together. So they’re not little silos of STEM. They’re working together so that you’re growing in your capability every single year. And then those kids can go to NC State right here in Havelock\, get a degree\, walk right across the street\, and go to work at FRC East at a job that pays twice the average salary in eastern North Carolina. \nAnd the Starbase is just now a new component of that because all these camps cost a little bit of money. We do have scholarships and things. But the Starbase now opens that door up for people that maybe can’t afford the camp and can get excited about it\, and then figure it out through our camps or through the school system. \nI think\, you know\, my personal opinion\, East North Carolina\, that’s kind of where we’re crushing it. We are a very STEM-related base with operations and then FRC\, and what they do to tear apart airplanes and rebuild them. And we know we’ve got to build that workforce. And now we’ve had kids that started in fourth grade at our camp and went through all the years and then went on to get a degree and are now working at FRC East. And that’s pretty special. \nI don’t know of anywhere else that does it quite that way. We’re having our annual gala tonight\, Jessica. If you’re in town\, you could definitely come with us. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: I would totally do that. \n[Will Lewis]: We’re having our annual gala for the ECAF\, which is the fundraiser that supports that summer camp. And we will fill our local tourist and event center with all the companies and people that support that area. It’s a community buy-in. Everybody in the community supports those summer camps because they know that this is how we’re growing our community into something special. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Wow. Well\, I wanted to talk a little bit about\, so one of the reasons that Havelock stood out to me is your size. What’s the population? \n[Will Lewis]: So right now\, if you ask the state OMB\, they say we’re just over 18\,000. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Okay. Yes. Small city\, regardless. I mean\, even if your population swells certain times of the year\, it’s still a small area. And am I wrong in that you’re in a fairly rural area? \n[Will Lewis]: Yes\, ma’am. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: So that’s one of the reasons Havelock stood out to me\, besides\, of course\, all the incredible work you guys are doing. I wonder your thoughts on sort of the wider region\, and do you see what you all have done in Havelock as something that is at least on maybe different scales replicable in other communities\, right? \nYou’re a small community\, and I’ve worked in a lot of small communities and I know that in small communities\, the human capacity\, the amount of time people can spend on doing all of the volunteer things and doing all\, you know\, really trying to support people in the community is low. And my God\, it’s amazing that people thank you so much. \n[Will Lewis]: And if you look at even our whole region at the four counties that I mentioned\, Craven\, Carteret\, Jones\, and Pamlico\, even the population of all four of those counties combined\, I’m going to guess is in the range of less than half a million of all four counties. \nJones and Pamlico are even more rural than we are. Craven’s a little over 100\,000 and Carteret\, we’re the two biggest. So it’s probably more like 300\,000 total in the area. \nI think the answer\, I mean\, it sounds simple\, but it’s like you said at the very beginning\, it’s a lot of partners. So we noticed when we look across all of our committees at the city and even at the county\, including our ECAF that I just mentioned and Allies for Cherry Points Tomorrow\, there’s a lot of overlap. You’ve got somebody who’s on the ECAF board is also on my ACT board and is also on the Rec Advisory Board and is also on the Appearance Commission and is also on the County Rec Advisory Board. So there’s a lot of overlap. \nOne thing that we found\, and we learned this specifically in ACT and at our ECAF Foundation I was talking about earlier\, the right people matter\, the people that have that passion. You know\, there’s that old thing that says\, “If you want to get something done\, give it to the busiest person you know\, they’ll probably get it done.” There’s some truth to that. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: And it’s so sad\, but also\, yeah. \n[Will Lewis]: A lot of truth\, right? Yeah. I think the secret sauce is pretty simple for this one. It’s getting a unified vision that everybody wants to pull in the same direction. And I think what’s really unique about our area is nobody’s trying to take credit for what’s happened with STEM. \nACT is not running around saying\, “We wouldn’t have STEM if it wasn’t for Atlas Retriever Points tomorrow.” ECAF isn’t saying\, “We started the first elementary school.” \nEveryone just sits down every now and then and talks about what’s missing. What are we doing right? How can we all help each other? And how does that turn into an area that everybody wants to live in? And maybe it’s because we are in a rural area that everybody realizes we have to work together. There’s no competition. \nCherry Point is a $2.6 billion industry to our community. $2.6 billion. Nothing comes even close. There’s no other employer\, like FRC East is over 4\,000 employees. There’s nothing even close in our area. And then you add in the fact that these are everyday heroes that are literally doing the nation’s work to keep us all safe. And it kind of makes it easy to want to help them. \nBut I think you do have to have good leadership. A lot of our good leadership are folks that have maybe retired from the installation and stayed in the community. They realize Eastern North Carolina’s paradise. And then they’re like\, ‘hey\, I want to stay.’ So like the guy tonight that’s going to run our gala is the chairman of our ECAF\, a retired two-star general from Cherry Point. And he has stayed here for decades. Helping us grow Eastern North Carolina. So leadership matters. But I think having a cohesive mission that we all can just say the mission wins\, the mission trumps everything. Yeah. Mission trumps it all. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: There’s no competition here. There’s no – one thing I’ve seen in a lot of smaller populated areas is sometimes there’s this competition for the scarce dollars that are available\, or whatever the scarce resources in general\, the human resources and everything. \nBut it sounds like you guys really have built a culture of collaboration as well. And perhaps that did start with some really strong leadership saying like\, “There’s no ego here. We need to just get the job done and do it together.” \n[Will Lewis]: And define those lanes everyone’s going to swim. And so\, like\, for example\, our Chamber Macs\, they do a phenomenal job at the morale of welfare. ACT has no business getting involved in that. I don’t need to do chicken pickings and I don’t need to do pig pickings and I don’t need to do any of that because the Chamber Macs do a great job. \nSo guess what? They do that and they invite us. And we’re members of the Chamber Mac. So when they do that chicken picking\, we’re going to show up. We’re just going to serve some Marines and we’re going to talk to them. We’re going to have a good time. But they’re the ones that actually do it. \nAnd by the same note\, we’re really good at government advocacy for our base. So they all know that that’s what we’re going to do. So they’re members of our organization and we do the advocacy. So we kind of all understand what our roles are and there’s no need to duplicate efforts. And nobody kind of – we just don’t really fight over that. And I think that helps too is once you’ve got that mission and everyone agrees\, then we can just define what we’re going to do and everyone kind of accepts that. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Wow. Well\, I had a couple of other things I was curious about because\, you know\, you’ve talked about some really big initiatives\, but behind some of those big initiatives\, what are some of the everyday collaboration practices that make initiatives like that possible? \nThings like\, you know\, how you communicate with installation leaders\, or how you engage schools or employers. Or how you keep veteran and family voices in the mix. So what are some of the small kind of everyday things you all do? I know one of them you mentioned already that when there’s an issue\, you all sit down and you’re like\, ‘how does this affect the military families?’ But what are some of those other small collaboration practices? \n[Will Lewis]: One thing I know that we do really well is we talk to our base leadership all the time. So\, for example\, I talk to our base CEO\, our commanding officer. He and I talk multiple times a week. And it could be really simple stuff. Like he just might be calling me to say\, “Hey\, we’re going to do some work outside the gate. It’s going to probably slow traffic down in Havelock. You may have an issue with these lights. Just letting you guys know.” \nAnd it could be something we’re doing in town\, “Hey\, did you know this was going to happen? It’s probably going to affect you guys.” So it’s like very mechanical infrastructure things. But also it’s just like\, “Hey\, what’s going on this Saturday night? Do you guys want to come out to the club and we’ll just eat supper together and talk about what’s going on inside and outside the gate?” Kind of that more informal\, just getting to know each other. \nI think everything in the world comes down to relationships. As a mayor\, that’s probably not a hard thing to guess that I would say that. But I also say the relationship has to be real. And so those touch points where you’re just like catching a quick meal together or\, you know\, when the new CEO comes to town and you’re just like\, “Hey\, you and your family should come out and check out this restaurant. It’s a great one out in town. When you go\, give us a holler. We’ll meet you over there.” Those things are important. \nBut I think even further down in the weeds\, I know in Havelock\, for example\, our departments are talking to their departments every day\, right? So I don’t know what my police department’s doing today. I mean\, I know that they’re protecting and serving\, but I don’t know what they’re actually doing. But they’re talking to the PMO\, the Provost Marshal’s Office on the base\, and they’re coordinating traffic and they’re coordinating what’s happening in and out of the community. And they’re talking about different things that I don’t even know about every day\, but it keeps that relationship solid between the base and the city. \nAnd then from the bigger picture of Allies\, Triple H\, Tamar\, and the counties\, we have this really cool committee that the base started. It’s called the Civilian Military Community Council\, the CMCC. And once every two months\, our base hosts one representative from every municipality and county. And the municipality and county gets to pick who they send. It’s typically a mayor or a county commissioner. We all go have lunch together on the base. And when we do\, the base CO brings in all the commands and they just give you a quick brief. What’s happening? What’s going to happen in the next couple of weeks? What can you expect at the base? That sort of thing. \nAnd then the community gets to report to the base the coolest stuff going on in their community. So they say\, “Hey\, we got a grant to put in a sidewalk over here. We’re going to be doing that next week.” Or\, “We’ve got a kayak launch. We know all your Marines like the kayaks. We got a kayak launch. It’s going to be open October 4th\,” whatever. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: I didn’t know Marines like to kayak. That’s great to know. \n[Will Lewis]: Anything\, you know\, I mean. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Outdoor stuff\, yeah. \n[Will Lewis]: Yeah\, anything outdoors. So everybody kind of gets to say like what they love about what’s going on. And typically you’ll hear things like other mayors\, like I talk to the CO every day\, but other mayors don’t necessarily get that if they’re not right by the base. So they’re like\, “Hey\, thank you guys for sending Marines out to serve at our local festival. They came out and they played games with the kids and they helped serve food and it was so much fun. Thank you for that.” \nI think that is a big one and I can take zero credit for that. That was started a long time ago by a base commanding officer and it has become expected by our community. Everybody loves the CMCC. Some local boards\, their members fight over who gets to go\, because you want to go and you want to hear that brief and you want to brag about your city. It gives you those subtle touch points again where everyone kind of gets to know each other a little bit. \nThe CEO gets to know communities that aren’t even right outside his gate. I mean\, I can throw a baseball from my office to the main gate. So we talk all the time. But if you’re 20 miles away\, 30 miles away\, that’s not the case. So that’s another tool in our toolbox that we all use as a community to stay connected. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Wow. I feel like if we looked at a network map of all of these relationships\, that there would be a lot of back and forth and a lot of connections. It sounds like there’s a lot of touch points. And I think that’s rare. It kind of brings me to another question. \nSo if there wasn’t an installation near you\, I guess I’m wondering\, like\, there’s still a value we know in supporting military families in an area. Like what advice\, I guess\, would you have for community leaders who maybe don’t have an installation near them and the value of supporting military families? \n[Will Lewis]: So this is\, I like to remind people that I think that people think that if you’re in the military\, your life is pretty easy. Like you just get a paycheck. You go to work every day. \nSo the first thing I always remind my community is it’s as hard as any other job\, probably way harder. And it’s as hard on the family\, especially when we’re in deep deployment cycles. And it really doesn’t matter if you are 100 miles from a base or not. \nI think just being cognizant of the fact that they are actually\, people are like\, “Oh\, if they’re not in war\, what are they doing\, man?” And it’s such a complicated organism of what they do to protect us and to train and to be a part of the\, you know\, what Marines like to call the “kill chain\,” like to be some part of that kill chain. \nAnd so when you look at that big picture\, I think people should understand\, first of all\, that not only are they working for a living\, but they’ve chosen service\, right? Like all of us have a job. They chose to sign a check to give up part of their life for the United States of America. So like\, let’s just stop first and respect that. Whether you have a base in your community or not\, let’s respect that. Especially if you didn’t choose to do it\, like let’s respect that they’re willing to do that. \nAnd then think about how does that impact their life? I mean\, they move every three years. In the Marine Corps\, they’re moving every two to three years. So you’re packing everything you own up. You’re trying to make weight on the shipment. You’ve got to get rid of things. You’ve got to decide what to keep. You’ve got to get your kids in a brand new school. All those things are a challenge for a family. \nSo if you’re close to one\, it’s easy to remember that. If you’re not close to one\, it’s a little more difficult. I think if you’re close to one\, or you’re not\, spend some time trying to understand that. And sometimes the easiest way is just to have a conversation with someone you know that’s either in the military or used to be in the military\, and they can tell you some of those challenges. Once you understand that\, I think the rest of it falls into place. \nThen you can find ways where you can kind of get in where you fit in to try to alleviate some of that pain\, or provide something for them that makes their life a little easier. Like\, for example\, Craven County Schools put military counselors in all of our schools. So when those kids come here\, there’s a dedicated counselor that they sit down with the family and they talk about where their credits came from. Because I mean\, some of these kids come from overseas and they just got credits there that don’t just necessarily match up to what you’ve got. \nAnd picking that military counselor\, that was a big deal for our school system to do that. And I mean\, money’s short\, right? And I think if you understand the challenges\, you can find solutions in that way. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Yeah. I used to work in a county that was pretty far from an installation. And the county veteran service officer was really working hard\, trying to work with the sheriff’s department on sheriff’s deputies carrying challenge coins with them. \nAnd to start asking\, you know\, are you a veteran? When they would arrive at calls\, you know\, asking\, are you a veteran? And giving them some training on how to use the challenge coins and how to talk to veterans. And I bring this up because I think\, you know\, whether you’re far\, we were in a county that was very far from installation. I know that veterans are everywhere\, but we also know that military families are too. \nAnd so even just the simple act of asking the families that you serve\, or asking\, “Do we have military families in this area that this issue would also affect?” seems like it would possibly go a long way\, based on what you’re saying. \n[Will Lewis]: Yeah\, that’s a really cool example. And it’s a reminder\, too\, that some of these military folks just go home when they’re done\, right. So I always try to convince them to stay in Eastern North Carolina\, because we want them to stay. But some of them were like\, “Hey\, my family’s in Alabama and that’s where I’m from. I’m going to move back to this area”. \nAnd they get back there and there’s no military base close. But when they come back to that school system\, their kids still have the same struggle. They still have the same opportunity to engage with the sheriff’s department or wherever when they go back home. And even if that’s a small percentage\, it’s a percentage we should pay attention to\, in my opinion. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Yeah. I agree. \nMayor Will Lewis\, thank you so\, so much for your conversation. I’ve enjoyed every one of them\, whether they were recorded or not. I really appreciate hearing about everything that Havelock is doing\, but also just your dedication and passion for serving the military families in your area. So thank you so much for being here. \n[Will Lewis]: Oh\, it was my pleasure. I love talking about it because I can’t even imagine if I was going to be a mayor. I love being the mayor of a town that hosts a military installation. I love it because I get to take care of my own citizens\, plus people that are sacrificing for the world that are also my citizens. I think it’s a special opportunity and I love talking to people about it. \nSo thank you for having me\, Jessica. \n[Jessica Beckendorf]: Mayor Will Lewis is the longtime mayor of Havelock\, North Carolina\, and president for Allies for Cherry Point Tomorrow. \nThat’s it for this episode of Practicing Connection. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed today’s conversation\, share it with a friend or colleague. \nWe’d like to thank our co-producer\, our announcer\, Kaylin Goebel\, Meg Lucas and Joyce Vaughn for their help with marketing\, and Nathan Grimm\, who composed and performed all the music you hear on the podcast. We hope you’ll listen again soon. Until then\, keep practicing. \nThe Practicing Connection podcast is a production of One Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U.S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U.S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/collaboration-in-action/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260219T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260219T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260219T110017Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260227T175300Z
UID:10001739-1771480800-1771520400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Turning Conflict Into Collaboration
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODY5OTE4MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg2OTkxODAtdHVybmluZy1jb25mbGljdC1pbnRvLWNvbGxhYm9yYXRpb24uanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODY5OTE4MCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 8) \nIt’s easy to collaborate when everyone agrees. The real test of teamwork is what happens when we don’t. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Erin explore how to stay grounded and connected when collaboration gets tough. Erin shares a reflective practice that helps you rethink how you see the person on the “other side” of disagreement\, using social intelligence skills like awareness and generosity of perspective. \nDiscover how to shift from trying to “win” a disagreement to understanding what motivates others—and why that shift can strengthen both relationships and results. \n  \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\n\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\nSee Dr. Robyn Keast talk about “Blue Box Thinking”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84YvXtc_VPg \n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF (00:00) \nHi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. Today we’ll be talking about how to work with people you disagree with\, and Erin’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hi\, Erin. I’m really looking forward to learning more about this practice. What’s new with you this week? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (00:19) \nHi Jessica\, it is a fun topic to talk about. I mean\, it’s not the most fun topic\, but I think it’s an important topic\, so I’m glad we’re hitting it. \nAnd let’s see\, what’s new with me this week? So I’ve started in the morning when I’m prepping my workday\, I write a little agenda\, and then at the end of it\, to make it more fun\, I write in ‘win’ conditions. So if you’re into playing board games\, that’s like a common phrase for like\, “what do I need to do to win?’ \nI don’t know how common win conditions are outside of the gaming world\, so I thought I’d just kind of outline that for you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (00:55) \nI thought you said wind conditions at first. So no\, I’ve never heard of this before. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (01:01) \nOkay\, so essentially it’s the list of things you need to check off in order to win a game. And I’ve been adding a list of win conditions to my day for like\, if I do these things\, then I won at work today. And it’s a little bit silly\, but I’ll regularly ask my husband like\, “Are you winning?” Like\, “Is it going well?” And then I realized I’m asking myself that question too. And I’ve never decided what winning means. \nAnd it’s very similar to deciding what ‘done’ means\, I think. You know\, it’s hard to feel sometimes\, especially when your work is lots of emailing or cerebral or text or all on a computer. It’s not like a physical thing. It can be hard to remember that you did it. So I’ve been making little boxes that I check off\, and I put a little sticker for each one that I win at. Sometimes I win at remembering to take a walk and drink water. And sometimes I win because I really finish a project on time. \nBut all of it has been shockingly helpful\, and I’m gonna ride that as long as it’s still giving me momentum. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (02:10) \nThat’s great. I like this version of\, it’s not the same thing\, but there’s a version that I feel like is a little bit similar that I used to do where I call that my ‘good job’ list\, where at the end of the day I would just\, and sometimes honestly\, there would be an item on there that was just like\, ‘I sent an email to this person.’ Sometimes it was something really tiny like that. And I know sometimes emails can take a long time\, like 30 minutes or more to write if it has to have a bunch of information\, but sometimes the email I was referencing in my good job list really had more to do with a small little email that I had just not gotten back to because we’re so bombarded all the time with so many messages. \nSo I love this. I love this version of that. And I like the question\, “Do you feel like you’re winning today?” And for me\, I’d probably have it be a gut reaction. And that’s the beauty of all these things is you can decide how to use them. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (03:09) \nAnd for me\, my gut reaction always tells me that I did a bad job because sometimes my brain is mean to me. And so I was like\, you know what? We’re not going to let my emotional side of my brain have a say in whether or not I’m winning. If I did the checklist\, I won. Done and dusted. \nSo I do have to like make myself only do actually achievable win lists\, because if it’s suddenly 15 things\, I can’t actually do 15 things in a day. But we can talk about this practice more some other time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (03:23) \nHmm. I like it. That’s why\, I’ve brought up before\, I think it was in a recent episode. I brought up that I sometimes like to use just one of those really small\, not – when I say really small post-it notes\, I don’t mean like the super tiny one x two ones. I’m talking about like the three x three square ones. I will put down on that little small post-it note the to-dos that I need to do that day in order to feel like I’m winning\, right? In order to feel like I won the day at a minimum\, I need to do these three or four things. \nI try not to make it any more than four things\, even though on those you can pretty much fit six to seven things\, I think. I’ve done it before. Yes\, I do know that. But yes\, anything that you can do to kind of help yourself get the things done you need to do and feel like you’re winning your day\, I think is a win. \nSo we’d love to hear how you’re winning. So drop us a line at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \nWe see and respond to every message and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nSo Erin\, let’s learn more about how to work with people you disagree with. Can you tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing\, and why you chose it? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (04:55) \nYes\, well\, we’ve been talking about collaboration a lot as a team. You’ll find out soon. And it got me thinking about\, you know\, we write a podcast where we have lots of Practicasts\, what are practical things to apply. And so that had me thinking a lot about what skills do you need to collaborate? And the most important one that I needed to learn was how to work with people who I disagree with. \nI am a passionate person. I sometimes have very strong opinions. I sometimes think I’m right about everything. Spoiler alert\, I’m not right about everything\, sadly. But learning how to navigate that has been a lifelong study. I spent lots of time doing it on school group projects\, which were the bane of my existence. And I was like\, ‘why do we have to do group projects?’ And my mom would always tell me\, “Because you have to work with people in life\, and you’ve got to figure out how to do it now.” \nPeople are more forgiving when you’re a child. Hopefully also we’re forgiving of adults who make mistakes. That’s not what I’m trying to say here. You’re laughing at me. Okay\, going back to talking about group projects. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (06:04) \nNot laughing at you\, Erin\, definitely with you. No\, can I just interject for a second though\, because this is making me think about – it’s interesting because there is also in being a person\, as you just said\, with sometimes having strong opinions and\, you know\, feeling like your pathway is maybe the right one that the group should be taking. Think about the power in that and how someone else might be like\, “Erin seems pretty confident about this.” \nAnd I’m not trying to make you feel bad here\, Erin\, but I’m just thinking like\, right\, “Erin seems pretty confident about this. Maybe I don’t need to share how I’m feeling\,” or whatever. Right? So anyway\, let’s talk about this. Sorry – \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (06:45) \nThat’s a good point. Just thinking about how are you showing up in a room and how is everybody else showing up in a room or a virtual room for your collaboration. Sometimes group projects are hard because people don’t want to be there\, or their workload is too big and they really can’t afford to be there. Or sometimes it’s because everybody is so passionate and they all have a different picture of what it looks like to be successful. \nAnd sometimes it’s hard to get into that. It just feels like this person’s telling you no all the time or they’re always fighting with you. And at least for me\, the path of least resistance for my brain is to villainize the person who I disagree with. And then suddenly they become a problem that I need to overcome\, or a road barrier\, and not a person to collaborate with. So what we’re going to talk about today is how to deal with that problem. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (07:45) \nYeah\, I appreciate that you brought that up too\, because you and I were talking before we started recording and I shared an example with you about someone that I was having some trouble with\, way in my past. And one of the things that came out of that was that I kind of villainized that person at first. I was really struggling. I was really fighting with them. All I kept hearing from them was ‘no\, no\, no\, no.’ \nAnd when I really dug into it and I worked on that relationship with them\, I realized\, ‘look\, I still disagreed with them. I didn’t enjoy their ways\, but I also really respected and understood where they were coming from.’ And I was able to get beyond that. \nSo let me ask you this then\, as you were looking into all of this\, I’m curious about how you were able to reconcile the idea of winning\, right? When two people are disagreeing and maybe both people feel very strongly that different pathways would be better for the project or for the situation. \nBoth of them want to win that argument. And so\, you know\, when we disagree on a pathway\, it could really cause a stalemate and progress could be stalled. How can we move beyond that? What were you finding? I’m excited to find out. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (09:00) \nYeah\, well\, I’ve got some bad news. Because the only thing you can change about the situation is your own response to the other person. You can’t force them to see your perspective. You can’t magically make them not part of the project. Look\, I hate this answer\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (09:21) \nBut you can work to at least try to understand – you don’t have to agree with them – but try to understand where they’re coming from is one thing. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (09:27) \nExactly. Yeah\, that’s what I’m getting to. You’re spot on. I think what is frustrating about that is so often it feels like the other person isn’t doing that work too. And so it’s like\, ‘Man\, why do I have to do this labor and not this other person?’ That’s hard. That is hard to deal with. And I think it’s worth it because the benefits of collaboration and learning how to work with other people means that work can get done that otherwise would be impossible. \nAnd so you want to invest in making sometimes impossible seeming things happen\, figuring out\, ‘Okay\, how do I be aware of my own self\, be aware of what I’m doing and how I’m responding to people and how can I show up differently so that we can move past this roadblock?’ Because you can’t force them to show up differently\, but you can show up differently. So we’re going to talk about some social intelligence skills. \nI was not familiar with the phrase social intelligence until I was really digging into writing this episode. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (10:28) \nYou know\, I’ve studied via character strings. I took a bunch of their classes a long time ago\, so I’m very excited about this. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (10:35) \nWell\, they actually have my favorite definition of\, did they come up with this as a theory or did they just talk about it really well\, you know? Specifically the phrase social intelligence. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (10:42) \nIt comes from the field of positive psychology\, yeah\, and there’s been tons of research done in that kind of area. And I think it’s in the virtue of humanity. Yes. Which makes sense\, right? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (11:00) \nCool. Okay\, so if we just talked about a bunch of stuff and you’re like\, ‘I don’t know what social intelligence is\,’ a quick description from Character Strengths is\, \n“When a person knows what makes other people tick\, he or she is displaying social intelligence. They’re aware of the motives and feelings of themselves and others and how to fit into different social situations. They can feel comfortable and say the right thing\, whether they’re in the boardroom or the janitorial room\, in a school setting or on a construction site.” \nSocial intelligence involves two general components\, social awareness or what we sense about others and social facility\, which is what we do with our awareness. And our practice today is going to focus more on the awareness piece and how we are thinking about others. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (11:52) \nGreat. Let’s get into that practice then. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (11:55) \nOkay\, so this is a reflection for someone. I wrote it with this scenario in mind\, but you can expand it past that if this is not your scenario. But what I was imagining is you are already mid-project with a person that you have to collaborate with\, who you disagree with\, and they are driving you crazy. \nSo this is a thing you can do kind of silently inside of your own head during a meeting\, or just after a meeting\, or like an email chain\, some kind of interaction you’re having with this person who you disagree with when you’re feeling really agitated. Notice that\, and then do this reflection after you’ve kind of noticed some of that. \nSo the first step is deciding that you want to do something and committing to changing your mind about this person. That feels like kind of a silly first step\, but unless you commit to it\, you’re not going to do it. So step one is\, commit to do the work of figuring out how to get along with this person\, even if they aren’t doing it back. \nStep two is finding a reason why you want to commit to doing it\, because it can be challenging and it can take longer than you want it to. I personally find it really helpful to reflect on my values. They’re different for every person\, but I value doing good work. Usually I’m doing work that is creating something for other people. So I’ll think about the end user or who is going to benefit from us doing this work together and putting that reason in the front of your mind. So when you’re agitated and irritated\, you can say\, “I’m doing this because the outcome is worth it to me.” And if it’s not worth it to you\, that’s another conversation for a different Practicast. But find your reason\, find your value that’s making you want to commit. \nAnd then step three is\, observe your interactions with the person. This can either be while you’re in a meeting with them\, or it can be after the meeting. You can just kind of reflect on\, ‘What do you remember about how they showed up in the room? Do they have a lot of emotions? Were they not expressing a lot of emotions? What was their body language like? What did they share about what was happening in their day or in their workplace? Did they share anything at all? Did they just show up and be task and business focused? How were they showing up to the meeting? Was that what you expected?’ \nNotice those things. Another really helpful thing to observe from your interaction is\, ‘What is one thing\, no matter how small it is\, that you can respect about how this person showed up? What’s one thing that you wish you did?’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (14:41) \nIn that example that I was talking about before that I didn’t give any details on\, the thing that I was able to respect about them\, which completely changed to me\, changed our entire relationship\, because I really respected them for it was that they really felt a huge level of responsibility to be accountable for things that our department was doing. And so once I understood that\, I felt like I was able to\, you know\, navigate that conflict\, right? \nWe’re talking about disagreeing with someone. I disagreed with their methods\, but we weren’t really in conflict. We were actually in sync because we both felt that same responsibility\, but they felt it much more acutely than I did. And so once I understood that\, I felt like I was able to respect them as a person and respect them much more\, respect our relationship a lot more. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (15:37) \nYeah\, I love that. And a lot of this observation section is helping you notice what maybe you weren’t paying attention to. It’s being aware of what’s happening in the room\, both what the other person is doing\, but also internally inside of your own self. \nSo the last thing that I encourage you to observe is\, ‘What are you thinking about this person throughout the meeting? Are you automatically dismissing whatever they’re saying? Are you internally going\, “of course\,” or internally going\, “this again…” Are they going in circles? Are they talking about the same thing over and over again?’ \nI am guilty of this\, so no judgment. Just noticing your own responses to them. Are they positive? Are they negative? What evidence do you have to support the opinions that you’re having? Is it just an opinion that’s left over from a different meeting and you’re bringing it into this new meeting? So just observe and kind of notice you’re not being judgmental\, but you’re noticing what you’re bringing into the interaction and making note of it. \nAnd then the last step\, I think\, is the hardest step\, but it’s also the most important step. And I call it the imagination section. It is the part where you’re trying to imagine what is the most generous interpretation of why they’re acting the way they’re acting or why they have the opinion that they have. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (17:01) \nThat’s probably where my example fits\, is here\, except that it was my observation of our interactions that helped me to realize and imagine that the most generous reason for them having the opinion they have\, or acting the way they were acting\, was that they felt a ginormous amount of weight on them for our department’s accountability. Does that make sense? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (17:24) \nYeah\, that makes total sense. And I think what can be challenging about this is\, you know\, at least for me\, sometimes I just want to be mad. Like I want to be annoyed\, because it’s hard\, right? And it’s easier to be annoyed at the other person than like be stuck in the feeling of stuckness. \nAnd what I think is so helpful about imagination is it doesn’t even matter if the most generous reason is true or not. The point of imagining why the most generous reason for why someone might behave in the way they’re behaving is so that you can shift your resentment and frustration and be more open to this person\, maybe not being wrong\, or maybe seeing them as a person\, not a problem. The goal here is to shift how you’re thinking\, not to shift the person. And the goal of imagining is to see them as a fully complex person\, and to be able to be generous. \nI think there’s sometimes this idea that\, if I imagine them that way\, then that is the reality\, and I’m writing the reality for them. And that’s not what we’re saying at all. We’re just saying\, imagine why someone might have this opinion. And maybe you’re right and maybe you’re wrong. But being open to them having good reasons for why they are responding the way they were responding really helps\, I think\, in building patience. \nBut then also in building your own curiosity. And then maybe there’s like a secret step five where when you’re not in an agitated space\, you can circle back and be like\, “Hey\, what’s going on with you?” Or\, “I’ve noticed you seem really passionate and you really value this X\, Y\, Z thing. Can you tell me about that?” And that’s where you can really build a relationship with a person and not just have them be a problem. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (19:10) \nAnd I told the person that in the example I’ve been giving\, once I told them that I appreciated the amount of responsibility they felt and how they really valued the work we were doing\, I just told them that I appreciated that they felt that level of responsibility. Again\, I didn’t agree with the methods. Did not love the way they did things. And also that started to shift their opinion toward me because they felt noticed\, they felt seen\, they felt heard. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (19:39) \nSo you know how at the beginning of this meeting you were talking about how if I come in super definitive about my opinion\, maybe someone feels like there isn’t space for them to disagree? I think this is like me being\, I think sometimes I am this person that people need to reflect on to be less annoyed about. \nGosh. \nAnd not in a bad way\, but just in a like\, you know\, interacting with people who are different\, there’s conflict\, there’s friction there. And that I think also helps me show up differently. \nAnd one of my personal values is kindness. I think that’s really important. I try to think through how can I show up in a way that’s more kind. And so this has also been really helpful in shifting my own ways of being in a group. This practice really focuses on helping you shift your thinking about another person. But it has side benefits of shifting your own view of yourself and being kinder and more patient with yourself too. It’s pretty good stuff. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (20:35) \nYeah. And the last thing that I want to bring up\, just because it comes up so commonly and I’ve seen it over and over in my career. And also\, you know\, given that I’ve done a lot of interpersonal work with groups\, one thing that comes up over and over that this is really reminding me of is that idea of the people who’ve been around a while saying\, “But we’ve done that before\, we’ve done that before.” And it feels like it’s a ‘no\, no\, no\, no\, no’ constantly\, when people are bringing up ideas. \nAnd I’ve talked with a number of people who have been very concerned over the years about how they come off\, like folks who know that they’re the ones who are always like\, “Well\, we did that once before\, we already did that.” And I would say most of the time\, at least of the ones I’ve talked to\, they don’t want to do that. What they’re looking for is new solutions that their experience could be respected and inquired about and gotten curious about\, and like thinking about what new things we could all come up with. \nThat might utilize some of that knowledge\, but also utilize the new ideas coming in. And I’ve heard from a lot of people who are like\, “I’m not trying to say no\, no\, no to everything. It’s just\, we’ve learned a lot from what we’ve tried in the past. And so could we maybe just come together and say\, ‘Hey\, what have you learned from doing this in the past? We learned all these things. And what are your new ideas? Let’s try to mash all of this up together and see what new solutions we can come up with.’” \nSo it’s slightly\, I mean it’s on topic\, slightly off topic\, but I wanted to bring that up because I think it’s a common point where people are feeling really passionate about the work you’re all doing together\, but some people want to go one pathway\, some people want to go another pathway\, or some people want to go one pathway\, but they feel like the other people are just constantly telling them no\, no\, no\, no. And I think that there’s a way around all of that for us to come together. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (22:25) \nYes\, that is a great example. Thank you so much for sharing it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (22:29) \nThank you for guiding us through. That’s a really great thought experiment. \nSo commit to doing the work. Find a value or reason that you want to do it. Observe your interactions with the person or people that you’re feeling at odds with. And then imagine the most generous reason for them to have the opinion they have. What was that fifth bonus one? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (22:52) \nThe fifth bonus one was engaging in a conversation about them as a person\, where you acknowledge the thing you respect about them. Or notice\, ‘Hey\, it seems like you really value XYZ. Can you tell me more about that?’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (23:08) \nYes. That’s great. I think that’s a great spot to stop this practice. Thanks so much\, Erin. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA (23:14) \nThank you! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (23:15) \nWell\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/turning-conflict-into-collaboration/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260212T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260212T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260212T110028Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260428T200153Z
UID:10001735-1770876000-1770915600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:How We Work Together: A Simple Practice for Better Collaboration
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODY1MzM1NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg2NTMzNTUtaG93LXdlLXdvcmstdG9nZXRoZXItYS1zaW1wbGUtcHJhY3RpY2UtZm9yLWJldHRlci1jb2xsYWJvcmF0aW9uLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTg2NTMzNTUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 7) \nAre you really collaborating – or just coordinating?  \nThis episode offers a short reflection to help you notice where you are on the spectrum and make one small shift toward true collaboration. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Erin and Jessica use “blue box thinking” as a backdrop to explore the spectrum of ways we work together – competition\, cooperation\, coordination\, and collaboration – and introduce a simple practice called “Shift the Box.” \nYou’ll learn how to quickly name where you are on that spectrum in any situation\, notice when you’re stuck in status and control\, and choose one small action that moves you closer to genuine collaboration and shared power. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\n\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\nSee Dr. Robyn Keast talk about “Blue Box Thinking”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84YvXtc_VPg \n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]ERIN CARLSON RIVERA: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Erin. Today we’re going to talk about how our assumptions about roles and power can get in the way of collaboration\, and how a simple reflection practice can help us shift into a more collaborative way of working together. \nHi Jessica. How are you doing today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m doing pretty good. It’s toward the end of the day and I’m kind of gearing up to get ready for my new volunteer gig. My first time helping out in community theater. So that’s been kind of a fun experience. I’ve only been to one rehearsal so far. Today’s the second one. \nI’m not in\, I wanna be clear\, I’m not acting. But I’m helping out and it’s been kind of fun to be like a point person to help out. I kind of like being in the middle of all that action. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That sounds so exciting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I know you have a background in theater a little bit. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That I think sounds a [00:01:00] little bit more than what I actually did. I did a lot of children’s theater as a kid and through high school. But background in theater makes it sound a little bit more glamorous than it was. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Okay\, I get it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: But I understand there’s a certain kind of synergy and energy of doing a show. Even if you’re just on the tech – just on the tech; the tech are awesome. If you’re on tech\, even if you’re not in the show\, there’s still this exciting energy because it’s this really cool space of collaboration that you almost don’t get anywhere else. So I’m excited for you. I can’t wait to hear all about it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I will tell you more as the days unfold\, as you probably know\, it’s a chaotic time right now. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Of course. All right\, so today we’re focusing on collaboration\, and the ways we move\, sometimes without even noticing\, from competition\, to cooperation\, to coordination\, to true collaboration. And then you’re going to guide us through a practice. Can you share a little bit more about the practice and why you chose it?[00:02:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. I wanna start though with a little bit of background on this thing I’m going to be talking about today called Blue Box Thinking. We’ve talked about it on the podcast before\, and it comes from a model of inter-organizational relationships that shows different ways groups work together: competition\, cooperation\, coordination\, collaboration and then finally conglomeration\, where everything kind of really comes together and ends up consolidating. \nAs originally presented by Dr. Robin Keast from Southern Cross University\, the diagram she was using as she was going around presenting about this had randomly colored boxes to represent different organizations and how they’re connected. \nBut what she was finding while presenting about the model was that what people often do is fixate on the one box that appears to be on top. And in this case it just happened to be always blue\, right? The blue box was always showing up on top on these slides\, on her slide deck. [00:03:00]\nAnd so people kept asking her\, wait\, is my organization the blue box? Am I the blue box? Should I be the blue box? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Mm-hmm. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And so that pull toward wanting to be the box in charge or you know\, with quotes “in charge\,” is what we’re calling ‘blue box thinking.’ And it keeps our attention on status and position instead of on the processes and relationships that actually make collaboration work. \nAnd so the practice I’m sharing today is called ‘Shift the Box.’ It’s just a name that was made up for this. I chose it because blue box thinking tends to pull our attention toward position. Like\, who’s in charge\, who has the power? When collaboration really depends on process and relationships\, right? \nLike what can we create together that we maybe couldn’t have created if we weren’t together? And so this practice helps us gently move our focus from\, where am I on the chart\, [00:04:00] to\, how can we share power and create something together? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. Well that’s exciting\, I love that it doesn’t ask people to jump straight into having perfect collaboration. It just invites one small shift to how we’re relating to each other. I think that’s really exciting. All right. Let’s get into it. Tell us about this practice. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Alright\, so first\, you’re going to want to start of course by thinking of a real situation where you’re working with others. So maybe it’s your team\, maybe it’s you’re just thinking of your team meeting\, you know\, the situation of your team meeting. \nMaybe it’s a community collaborative effort\, or any situation where you’re working with others\, right? Hold that situation in your mind and ask yourself who’s involved and what are we trying to do together? \nThen I want you to think about which of those Cs is your group currently in? The C’s we mentioned were competition\, cooperation\, [00:05:00] coordination\, collaboration\, which I’ll go into in a second. \nI want you to ask yourself\, which of these best describes how we’re working together right now? \nSo just to give you a few ideas of what each of these looks like: Competition. So your group might be in competition mode if you or other group members are mostly protecting their own interests or ideas\, right? You’re not sharing anything\, everyone’s trying to be on top. \nCooperation. You might be in cooperation mode if members are just sharing information\, right? Just strict information sharing or helping each other briefly on occasion. \nYou might be in coordination if the group is working toward a shared goal\, but mostly staying in your own lanes\, right? ‘My organization only does these things\, your organization only does those things. I’m only going to agree to do things that my organization does.’ Rather than kind of mixing up the ideas a little bit \nAnd in [00:06:00] collaboration\, you might be in collaboration if you’re sharing power\, resources\, and ideas to co-create something that you wouldn’t create alone. That each of your organizations are not likely to create alone. \nSo there are no wrong answers. Just notice where you are without judgment. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Okay. I like that. The expectation is not that you should always be collaborating. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Right. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You know\, I think about in school where it’s like\, ‘you always have to share\, you always have to get along\,’ and sometimes it’s not helpful. And I love that competition or coordination might be exactly the right option\, and that you’re stopping to name that. That’s great. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Sometimes you just need an information exchange. That’s all you need\, and that’s okay. The point really is awareness\, so not grading ourselves or judging where the group is at. \nSo step three then is to notice your own personal blue box thinking [00:07:00] impulses. So maybe that’s\, ‘I wish I were the one making the decision\,’ or maybe it’s\, ‘They should really put me in charge of this.’ \nOr maybe it’s\, ‘Why is that person in charge or taking charge of this?’ And then finally\, maybe it’s\, ‘We just need someone at the top to decide.’ \nOr interestingly\, it could be the opposite\, right? This could be where you might suppress your own voice by thinking\, ‘Oh\, someone else is in charge. It’s not my place to speak up\,’ right? And that’s not healthy either. \nSo just notice where you might be focusing on position or status\, instead of process and relationship again. No judgment. You are just observing and learning right now. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, this feels powerful because it normalizes a lot of those thoughts. Many of us\, well\, okay\, many of us were trained to look at there’s just one person who’s in charge\, and that’s [00:08:00] it. So it makes sense that we would automatically just think\, ‘Well\, someone needs to just make this decision.’ \nAnd I don’t know\, I think if you spend a lot of time in any job as a grownup\, most of them have\, you know\, hierarchies and decision makers and leadership teams. And so it can get really easy to think\, ‘Well\, someone else should be making this choice\,’ and then not sharing what you’re thinking. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know\, I’ve been in coalition meetings before where I’ve seen a question get asked of the group\, right? So someone was asking\, maybe it was a contractor came in to share some updates\, and they ask everyone a question. And I’ve seen literally everyone look toward the person in the room that had that positional or financial power\, even though that person was just a member of the coalition\, they weren’t the person in charge\, right? \nAnd so things like that matter too\, we’re doing this naturally. But I think being more aware of when that’s happening can be really helpful [00:09:00] in moving from a place where maybe you’re just coordinating\, but you feel like the group could be doing more. \nSo just being aware of where you’re at will help you with the next step here. So the last step then is to ask yourself\, ‘What is one small shift I can make to move this situation closer to collaboration?’ \nSo depending on where you’re at\, of course\, I mean\, if you feel like the group is where it needs to be right now\, then leave it be. But if the group needs to shift\, then that might look like moving from competition to cooperation. Maybe the action you could take is sharing a piece of information or a perspective that you’ve been holding back. \nIf it’s moving from cooperation to coordination\, maybe that’s offering to align your efforts toward a shared goal instead of working in parallel with each other. And when moving from coordination to collaboration\, maybe that’s inviting others into planning or decision making\, or asking what could we create together that none of us could [00:10:00] create alone. \nAnd I just want to add a bonus here\, because another step you could take that would still make a small shift is choosing a relationship to strengthen within the group. So maybe choosing to listen more deeply to another person\, or maybe expressing appreciation for their contribution\, publicly or privately\, or checking in with them outside your meetings\, right? \nEven just choosing to strengthen a relationship with one of the people in the group will help with some of these shifts as well. So just choose one concrete action that you could take in this situation\, something small enough that you could try it in the next week. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I love that. I think often when you’re caught in these tense spaces where all of the coalition people haven’t quite landed on how we’re going to work together\, it can really feel like you need to redesign the whole coalition\, the whole organization\, the whole structure. \nIt feels like\, [00:11:00] ‘Oh\, we gotta tear it all down and build over. It’s not working.” But actually it might just take all of us taking a bunch of tiny steps. And I love that you gave some really concrete actionable ones. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I mean\, we don’t have to be taking big leaps here. We can grow collaborative efforts in really small shifts. We can grow it one relationship at a time\, one conversation at a time. We can share one piece of information at a time\, right? All these little things that we can do to improve our collaboration. \nSo that’s the practice. I mean\, this is something you can do in a few minutes\, and you can use it as a check-in at any point in your project. And over time\, you should be able to notice when you’re stuck in that blue box thinking and move toward more shared power\, stronger relationships\, and authentic collaboration. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Thanks so much for sharing that Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Very happy to. I have been a big fan of Robin Keith for a long time\, so I love sharing about Blue Box thinking. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: That’s it for this episode. Thank you for [00:12:00] joining us. If this conversation resonated with you\, click the share button in your podcast app. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/how-we-work-together/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260205T110037Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260216T194152Z
UID:10001728-1769061600-1769101200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reframing Feedback: A Practice for Receiving Criticism Well
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODYwNDMyNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg2MDQzMjQtcmVmcmFtaW5nLWZlZWRiYWNrLWEtcHJhY3RpY2UtZm9yLXJlY2VpdmluZy1jcml0aWNpc20td2VsbC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4NjA0MzI0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 6) \nNegative feedback can feel like a punch in the gut – but what if you could shift your mindset to see it as useful data instead of personal failure? \nMost of us cringe when we hear “I have some feedback for you.” But learning to receive feedback well is one of the most powerful skills you can build for collaboration and growth. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Erin talk about how to prepare your mindset\, identify which feedback deserves your attention\, and turn even tough conversations into moments of learning. \nErin also shares a practical approach you can use the next time feedback catches you off guard – helping you respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness. \nListen in to find new ways to make feedback feel less threatening\, and more like an investment in your growth. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nReframing Feedback Handout\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][00:00:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my new co-host is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about how to receive negative feedback\, and Erin’s gonna be sharing a practice with us. Hi Erin\, how are you? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Hi Jessica. I’m having fun! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Great! \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I wasn’t expecting to be this excited to actually be recording things\, so this is kind of fun. Plus it’s finally sunny again here in Wisconsin\, which is a treat. We’ve had a string of all of the temperatures in the negatives. We had an exploding tree watch warning from the weather people recently\, so no trees exploded in my neighborhood. \nI am very relieved\, and I’m very relieved that it’s a little bit warmer\, and that we have sunshine again. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that is very good. I have been hibernating\, reading a lot more than I [00:01:00] have in the past several years. I’m just chewing through the books and that’s been awesome. Both reading fiction and nonfiction as well. It’s something I used to do a lot more of and I’ve picked it back up again\, and that has been really feeding my soul lately. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Oh\, that’s wonderful. I love when you can kind of return to something that was joyful that you fell out of the habit of\, that’s such a fun thing to be able to do. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you. So please drop us a line at practicingconnection@oneop.org. We see and respond to every message and can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nSo let’s learn more about how to receive negative feedback. Erin\, can you tell us a little more about what you’ll be sharing and the practice you’re going to be sharing\, and why you chose it? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. Well\, I’m gonna start with why I chose it. It is\, for a lot of [00:02:00] people\, performance evaluation season. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: So while not everybody does performance evaluations in January\, a lot of people do. So\, I wanted to kind of share it in a timely manner. Also I am new to a job\, so I’m getting a lot of feedback\, and I’ve had to spend some time thinking about how do I – don’t make that face\, Jessica\, it’s not all bad! \nBut I have been getting lots of feedback and so I’ve been thinking a lot about\, “How can I use this well?” And so I wanted to share some of that with you today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: One thing I’d love to say though\, that’s such a good point. Sometimes it’s just hard to receive feedback\, period. Whether negative or neutral\, or even positive sometimes. And I think any feedback at all can feel negative sometimes. I mean\, unless someone’s like\, ‘you’re wonderful\, great job\,’ or whatever. That doesn’t feel negative\, hopefully ever. But I mean\, any like neutral feedback\, or collaborative feedback\, [00:03:00] it can feel negative even when it’s not. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I think especially if you’re really fatigued or overwhelmed\, sometimes feedback feels like just one more thing you have to carry and process and manage. And it’s like a little straw on your camel back and you’re like\, “I don’t know how many more of these I could take.” Yes\, this is exactly why I wanted to talk about this today. \nSo\, I don’t really enjoy negative feedback. I don’t think I know anybody who does\, but I have been able to see how changing how I respond to negative feedback can make it go from ‘one more thing I have to manage’ to an opportunity to build connection with the people that I work with\, especially when I’m on teams\, especially when I’m collaborating. \nIf I’m able to respond well to negative feedback\, it can build trust\, which I find really exciting. \nSo today I want to talk about how do we think about negative [00:04:00] feedback mindset shifts\, and then I’ll walk you through a practice. And I think of it as like a standard script that I can use if I’m surprised\, because sometimes you know you’re going to get feedback\, for example a performance evaluation\, and sometimes it comes completely out of the blue. They don’t ask your permission\, they don’t tell you they want to talk to you. It’s just\, someone comes up to your cubicle\, “Hey\, I wanna talk to you. You shouldn’t do this thing.” And you’re like… \nSo I want to give you a plan for how you’re going to respond to surprise\, negative feedback\, so that in the moment you don’t have to decide how to respond. \nYou’ve already kind of pre-thought about\, ‘here’s a thing I can do\,’ and sound professional. And it can be trust building and collaborative\, even if I’m having a bad day. So that’s my hope. So that’s where we’re heading today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’m really glad that we’re talking about this. You know\, finding ways to positively respond to negative feedback has helped mea lot. Even [00:05:00] though I’m not always still good at it\, I have figured out a couple things that I can do to help. \nSo like just listening for what values are surfacing while the person’s giving you feedback or reflecting on that interaction and thinking about what values we’re surfacing. \nOr just allowing myself some time to consider the feedback before responding when you can\, right. Like you just said\, sometimes you’re just getting it in the moment\, you’re getting the feedback in the moment or\, you know\, the person said\, “We need to meet.” Period. And you start anticipating what that might be. \nSo getting negative feedback can be awkward and uncomfortable\, but it’s also an opportunity to make meaningful changes. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes\, that’s exactly why it’s worth doing a little bit of work. So I actually encourage people to do prep work before you’re in the moment of receiving negative feedback. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Like right now. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. Right now. Okay\, I mean maybe once the podcast is over\, but [00:06:00] schedule time now before you’ve even worried about getting negative feedback\, to think about how you respond to feedback. \nAnd this is one of those\, ‘think about thinking’ things\, that is so annoying\, and it’s like\, ‘I have to have a task where I think about how I’m thinking.’ \nAnd yes\, yes you do. It will be so helpful. I promise it’s worth it. There are several things that I found helpful and we’re going to talk about one of the mindset shifts first. And this is helping yourself getting out of all or nothing thinking. \nI see this in myself often when I get negative feedback. I think if there’s negative feedback about one thing\, it means every single thing that I’ve done is terrible. And that’s very\, very rarely the case. There’s almost never where someone’s like\, “We need to throw out this entire thing. There is nothing worth keeping here.” Most of the time\, it’s like a couple of tweaks\, or maybe up to like 20% of a thing needs tweaking or changing\, or\, “Oh\, we gotta mash it with this thing over here.” \nSo it is [00:07:00] really easy to hear one bad thing and think that everything is wrong\, but it’s a really powerful shift when you can go from thinking\, ‘If one thing is wrong\, I did a bad job\,’ to\, ‘90% of this is ready to go\, and now I know what 10% needs work.’ \nIs that an easy shift? No. Is it a helpful shift? Yes. \nHave you ever noticed that Jessica\, or dealt with this shift? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. Well\, the thing is\, I don’t know that I tend to think everything wrong\, it really depends on the context sometimes. But one of the ways I’ve noticed this is in writing. I find words to be very sacred\, and so I used to be that when I wrote something and I asked somebody to review it\, it was really hard for me to see lots of red lines or\, you know\, lots of red text if you’re using the track changes or whatever it is\, you know\, it used to be really hard for me. \nAnd then\, I discovered that\, no\, no\, no\, it was\, [00:08:00] you know\, some red text\, some red lines. And the red lines were not ‘get rid of this immediately\, it sucks.’ The red lines were challenging me to think and make it a little better. And frankly\, I really now have come to\, you know\, appreciate that feedback. \nBut what I used to see when I would write something\, someone needed to edit it\, I used to see\, ‘Oh\, there’s so many comments on here that the whole thing is just terrible.’ And then I started to do a lot more editing\, and it took me maybe just a couple of times where I was like\, ‘Oh\, this is awesome. They’re making my work more awesome.’ \nAnd so I don’t know if that’s exactly the shift you’re talking about\, but it started to help me understand that it doesn’t matter even if they have red lines on every single paragraph\, which was never the case. But even if that happened on every [00:09:00] paragraph\, it was not them telling me it all sucks. It was them saying\, “Hey\, I see opportunity here\, and here’s my thought on how it could be a little better.” Which was awesome. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I love that. I love the idea of\, “They’re helping me be more awesome.” What a great mental catchphrase! \nI think a lot about\, ‘What script is my brain running? What is it telling me?’ And so if I can switch it from\, ‘They’re telling me it’s bad\,’ to\, ‘They’re helping me be more awesome\,’ what a gift. \nSpeaking of gifts\, another gift has to do with a mindset shift. It wasn’t until I started thinking about feedback that I realized how much doing theater as a child was a huge gift to me\, and one of those was receiving negative feedback. It made it easier for me. \nWere there ever any times someone was talking about performance anxiety for giving a speech and they were talking about\, okay\, what sensations are happening in your body? When else did you feel those? And then they were [00:10:00] talking about rollercoasters and how a lot of what you feel\, like anxious\, kind of your breath changes\, it’s the same thing that happens right before going on one\, apparently for some people. \nI find rollercoasters terrifying\, but for some people it’s like this anticipation. And so they’re able to mentally feel the anxiety in their body and say\, ‘Oh\, this is also what excitement feels like.’ And then they’re less scared\, and they’re more able to be excited about doing a scary thing\, not just scared of doing a scary thing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, as someone who really loves rollercoasters\, I concur with that. The risk is worth the reward\, for sure. Not the risk\, but the\, you know\, the anxiety\, and the – it’s excitement/anxiety. You’re excited\, but you’re also a little scared\, and it’s amazing. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. And isn’t that a much more pleasant feeling than just being terrified. So I thought\, ‘Okay\, obviously that wasn’t gonna work for me thinking about roller coasters\, because I still cry every time I go on a roller coaster.’ And you [00:11:00] know\, like sometimes I need to cry. It’s very cathartic\, it’s great\, but I was like\, ‘Okay\, I don’t want to cry when I get negative feedback from my coworkers\,’ right. \nSo I was like what are some other examples where I can do that\, a mirroring thing and mentally tell myself\, “Oh\, it’s like this situation. I’m safe in this situation. You don’t have to be scared right now.” And for me\, that was in theater. I think you’ve also done some theater stuff. Are you familiar with “getting notes?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, yeah\, absolutely. Like\, in my case\, where I was doing it\, it was for an improv group\, and we got notes mostly during\, we got “side coaching\,” a lot of times they called it. But\, yeah\, we got notes during our rehearsal. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. That’s fair. Okay. So I didn’t do improv\, I did more traditional theater. And there’s\, before you do your big performance\, you have a dress rehearsal where you’re in costume\, you run it as if there’s an audience and if there’s a show\, and the director almost always is taking tons of notes. \nAnd then after you’ve run through the whole [00:12:00] show\, they bring everybody together\, you all sit on stage and the director just runs through the show from top to bottom and says every single thing\, good or bad\, that they thought about while running the rehearsal. And so you hear everybody’s feedback\, you hear the good stuff\, you hear the bad stuff. \nAnd I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was just because everybody’s there. But that was never scary to me. Maybe it was ’cause I did children’s theater and they were really nice about it! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Maybe\, because you were all getting feedback at the same time together. We’re going to be good and bad. Maybe someone only got good notes because they had a fantastic rehearsal. I don’t know. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, well\, I think too\, some of it was\, there was not time to go in depth on anything\, so it was just like\, “Hey\, this wasn’t working. Try this next time.” And so it was very direct and specific. And so that was all really helpful for me. So I’ve started to think about\, ‘Oh\, maybe that is the mental attitude that I want to have when I’m receiving negative feedback. Think of it as I’m getting notes in a show.’ \nAnd [00:13:00] sometimes I didn’t agree with the director’s feedback. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: And that was okay. So that gave me kind of a framework where I’m taking myself out of having my like “flight or fight” response into\, “Oh\, I’m getting notes at a show.” \nAnd now I will admit\, not everybody does theater and not everybody had that experience with theater\, but I bet that everybody has some experience somewhere where they got negative feedback and it wasn’t hard. \nLike maybe you really love cooking and you have somebody taste test it\, or you are really into fitness and you’re used to having somebody coach your form at the gym \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You love trying out new outfits and you get feedback on them from your friends. Whatever your thing is\, I bet there’s somewhere in your life where you can get feedback and it doesn’t feel scary. \nAnd so thinking about putting on that mindset when you’re getting feedback can be such a helpful pivot. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I really love this and because\, I have not had the same frame of reference as [00:14:00] you\, but a similar point of reference – I get that feeling\, and I love that you brought up all those other examples of where we might have experienced that. \nLike I also have\, you know\, I have some friends where if they told me something didn’t look good on me\, I might have a bigger problem with it than other friends\, if they told me that. And you know\, now probably anyone could tell me anything and it wouldn’t bother me\, when it comes to what I’m wearing. \nBut I just mean\, I love that you brought up all those different possible examples\, and if people can kind of reflect back on when you received feedback. And it wasn’t difficult for you to receive that feedback and get back in touch with that feeling and that memory. That’s a really powerful thing. \nAnd\, so\, let’s get into the final piece that you have for us\, because the script you were talking about earlier\, I’d like to hear more about that. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Sure. I love a script. I don’t fight or flight. I tend to freeze\, which is not helpful. [00:15:00] I mean\, it is helpful sometimes\, but it can be very frustrating. \nSo I often think that if I make a plan beforehand that I don’t have to freeze. If you’re a person who fights\, then you’re like\, ‘I don’t have to decide how nice to be right now.’ \nYou could just go with your plan. Right? Like\, I think it’s applicable even if you’re not a freezer. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: But this is what I call a “method for the moment.” The first step is to just take a breath\, to just pause. And this can be like a two second pause\, but pause just to remind yourself\, “Hey\, I’m okay.” \nNumber two is quickly discerning\, is this someone whose opinion matters to me? And sometimes you do not like this person at all. You think their advice is terrible\, but they’re your supervisor or they’re an important collaborator. So even if you think their advice is terrible\, they’re still somebody whose opinion matters because you’re trying to maintain a relationship with them. \nIf you do care about their opinion\, [00:16:00] that’s an opportunity to get curious. If you have capacity\, ask a couple of questions. Some good ones are\, “Can you tell me more about why you think that? Can you give me some examples to reference for what you think it should look like?” Often people’s feedback is very vague\, even when it’s negative. \nWhich is shocking\, like you’re used to it being really specific\, but sometimes it’s just\, I don’t know\, you’re too angry or something\, and you’re like\, “Oh\, can you tell me more about\, do you have an example? Can you tell me what you think I should aim for?” \nIf you don’t care about their opinion\, you can just say\, “Oh\, thank you for sharing that with me. I’ve got to move on regardless.” \nSo this is kind of where there’s like a bit of a divergence. You decide if you care about their opinion. If you do\, be curious\, if you don’t\, say thank you. Once you’re done being curious\, you can also just say thank you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I just wanted\, I’m wondering if\, say you do care about their opinion\, but you don’t feel any reason\, like you feel like the feedback was fair and that they gave [00:17:00] you enough information. Can you just go right to thanking them? Or should you get curious no matter what? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I\, you know\, I think being curious is for your benefit. So if you feel like they gave you feedback that is valid\, true\, fair\, and helpful\, and you don’t need more information to do something with it\, you could just say\, “Wow\, thank you so much for telling me that\,” and move on. The curiosity is just there for you to get something meaningful out of the interaction\, if it’s a person you trust\, who doesn’t have the skill to give you the specifics you need. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: The other thing that I recommend is thank them for their feedback\, but don’t commit to doing anything immediately \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I like that\, that’s great. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Because so many people\, if you don’t have a lot of practice being calm while you receive negative feedback\, are in this really heightened state of like\, almost panic sometimes. \nAnd so if you just say\, “Hey\, thank you for letting me know that. Can I circle back with you after I’ve had some time to think [00:18:00] about it?” That’s an easy script. Most people respect that. If they don’t\, there’s a bigger issue there. \nAnd I think what’s really helpful about that is then you have time\, once they’re not looking at you\, to kind of think through\, ‘Okay\, is there anything I want to change or do differently in response to this feedback?’ \nAnd then you can circle back and just say\, “Thanks again for that feedback. In the future I’d like to try doing this.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And you can come up with your own plan. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, exactly. I really encourage people to come up with a plan with somebody else. If you have the opportunity and you don’t want to just come up with a plan on your own\, find a buddy to make a plan with\, because I think so often there’s this pressure to immediately say\, ‘Oh\, I have to immediately tell somebody.’ \nAnd the thing is like in most cases\, you don’t need to immediately tell somebody\, ‘Oh\, I’m gonna completely change my life.’ \nSo once you’ve thanked them and the conversation is over\, make a follow-up plan. Decide if you need [00:19:00] one\, and then\, if you’re not quite sure what you want to do in response to the feedback\, I have a couple of questions you can ask yourself\, which is\, “What is one thing I could do differently or try? Who is a person I could ask for advice\, coaching or mentorship about this?” And\, “Who is someone who knows me well enough\, who I trust enough who can fact check this for me? \nSometimes people are wrong. Sometimes your response is not proportional to their feedback. So that’s kind of a place where you can pause and reflect while you’re making your plan\, and get input from people you trust. \nAnd that’s it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That might happen the most to me. I’ll get feedback and I like\, in my head\, the feedback was a hundred times different than when I go back a day or two later and I look at it again\, and I’m like\, ‘Oh\, this actually isn’t a big deal.’ \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yes. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I said one of my strategies I found is I need a little bit of time\, and then I can go back and read it again [00:20:00] and we’re good. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, absolutely. And that is again\, why I tell people\, start by taking a breath. Start by deciding if this opinion matters. Then\, be curious\, then thank them\, then end the conversation. \nAnd I think that’s really the gift for me\, is realizing negative feedback doesn’t have to turn into a fight\, and it doesn’t have to turn into me setting a bunch of goals with a person spontaneously. \nIt can just be\, ‘Oh\, thank you for sharing that with me. I will go reflect on that.’ And then it’s over\, right. \nIt doesn’t have to be long. And I think a lot of people are just so afraid that it’s going to be a big\, terrible thing. Prepare yourself for maybe it’s not so bad. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. I mean\, I’m going to overanalyze it enough in my head anyway. \nNot with these new tools though\, and the new mindsets! So thank you so much for sharing this\, Erin. And I think there’s going to be a download available that we’ll have some of this? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I realize that this method is not like five words that you can bullet point on your hand\, [00:21:00] so I’ll make a little printout that you can have on hand to read through\, if that helps you remember stuff better. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Thank you. And we’ll link to that in the show notes. \nWell\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reframing-feedback/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260129T110031Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260129T223651Z
UID:10001724-1769061600-1769101200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:From One Season to the Next: A New Chapter for Practicing Connection
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODU3MzAyNyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg1NzMwMjctZnJvbS1vbmUtc2Vhc29uLXRvLXRoZS1uZXh0LWEtbmV3LWNoYXB0ZXItZm9yLXByYWN0aWNpbmctY29ubmVjdGlvbi5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4NTczMDI3JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 5) \nChange is part of every journey – even the ones we love most.  \nIn this episode\, Jessica Beckendorf welcomes new co-host Erin Carlson Rivera\, and shares parting reflections from longtime co-host Coral Owen. Together\, they explore how slowing down\, creating space\, and staying curious can help us stay connected through seasons of change. \nChange is both inevitable and deeply human – and this special episode is all about how we navigate it together. \nJoin us for an episode that honors the past\, embraces the next chapter\, and reminds us that connection is something we can keep practicing – no matter where we are in the journey. \nCommunity Challenge: \nThis week\, take a moment to name the space you’re in right now – not just what you’re doing\, but what you’re experiencing. Maybe it’s a transition\, a settling-in\, or a building phase. \nThen ask yourself: What am I ready to release to make space for what’s next? \nShare one insight or small practice that’s helping you stay grounded in your work or community using #PracticingConnection. Let’s normalize the in-between – together. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]\n\n\n\n\n\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. This episode is a little different from what we originally planned\, my longtime co-host Coral Owen had hoped to join me today for a conversation welcoming our new co-host\, Erin Carlson Rivera. \nUnfortunately\, Coral was not able to be here when we’re recording\, but she did share a few reflections with us before stepping away from the podcast\, and I’d love to share some of her thoughts with you later in the episode. \nCoral has been an incredible partner and presence here at Practicing Connection and at OneOp\, and while we’ll miss her behind the mic\, we’re so excited for what’s ahead for her\, and grateful for everything she’s helped to build here. \nAnd now I’m thrilled to announce my guest today: our new co-host Erin Carlson Rivera. \nErin is a [00:01:00] self-described “chaos wrangler” and communication expert\, who spent the last decade with UW Madison’s division of Extension\, working across programs from community development to urban agriculture\, and probably everything in between. Because that’s what Extension does\, right? She’s passionate about systems that make work simpler\, kinder\, and more sustainable outside of work. \nErin loves to garden\, so do I\, and paint in gouache style\, and in her words\, “Eat cheese and read fantasy novels.” And I’m pretty sure that eating cheese is a prerequisite of living in Wisconsin\, because that’s also on my list. So Erin\, welcome. I am so happy that you’re here. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Thank you. It’s good to be here. It’s weird to be on this side of the microphone\, but I’m having a good time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, you’ve been co-producing for a little while now. So\, let’s actually start with what brought you here. \nYou’ve already been doing so much incredible work with OneOp\, and with UW Madison Division of Extension. So what drew [00:02:00] you to saying yes to co-hosting Practicing Connection? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Oh\, that’s a good question. I think it was a weirdly good fit for everything I was already doing. I was often given the fun task of onboarding new people to the office culture\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Which meant that I did a lot of coaching people and a lot of teaching them about communication and boundaries. And it turns out that’s a lot of what we talk about here. \nAnd one thing I love about Extension is how much the work is not possible unless you’re collaborating with other people. And this podcast is such a fun combination of sharing stories about collaboration\, and then getting into really nitty gritty specific details about\, “Here’s a thing to try\,” and it just is such\, you know\, like these are the conversations that I’m having with my coworkers [00:03:00] all of the time. \nI\, like low key\, can’t believe they’re not sick of me\, where I’ll be like\, “Hey\, have you tried this?” I try to only offer advice when advice is asked for and not be the person who’s always telling everybody\, “Try this\, try this\, try this.” \nBut here is this lovely platform where I can tell people\, “Try this\, try this\, try this\,” and it’s expected and wanted and not\, you know\, your micromanaging coworker telling you everything to do. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I would say ‘leader\,’ right? You’ve already brought up how you’ve had to onboard and coach\, and that’s a role that you’ve seen yourself doing\, and we talk a lot about leadership on this podcast\, so I would say you’re a leader. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Well\, thank you. Okay. The other less serious\, more fun reason I said yes is because since high school people have been telling me that I have a really soothing voice and they really love listening to me talk. [00:04:00] And I was like\, great\, here’s a way where I can share my soothing voice. You know\, it feels like a gift. \nI have very little to do with what my voice sounds like other than\, you know\, taking care of it and vocal lessons for singing. But you know\, my talking voice is just how I talk. So it feels like a fun way to kind of share this thing that has been really supportive to other people. \nIt feels a little weird to say that\, look\, I’ve lived in Wisconsin long enough that I’m very Midwestern\, and I feel like stating facts sometimes feels like bragging. \nBut\, yeah\, that’s my other reason. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’ve had similar feedback about my voice\, so hopefully we are not gonna put anyone to sleep. I’m kidding\, I’m kidding. We’re just\, it’s going to be a great compliment\, is what I’m trying to say. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: We’re going to have a good time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, you know\, before today’s recording\, Coral shared a few reflections about her time with Practicing Connection\, and I want to share some of those words with our listeners. \nSo Coral says\, “When I think back over my time with Practicing Connection\, the [00:05:00] moments that really capture what this podcast is about for me are the ones where we slowed things down enough. To name what people are actually living inside of\, not just what they’re doing on the surface. Episodes where we talked about ambiguity\, transition\, gratitude\, and hard seasons. \nThose stand out not because they offered big answers\, but because they made space for honesty. To me\, the heart of the podcast has always been about normalizing the in-between and reminding people they’re not doing it wrong\, just because things feel unclear. Those conversations captured the spirit of the show\, thoughtful\, human\, and grounded in real life rather than perfection.” \nI wish I could do an impression of Coral so that you could actually hear that in her voice. But I do want to add that I love what she said about the spirit of the show being thoughtful\, human\, and grounded in real life. I particularly love that because that was intentional from our very first planning session\, like years ago\, and it [00:06:00] remains an important pillar of how we do things around here. \nSo Erin\, when you hear that\, what does that bring up for you? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Wow. Yeah\, that is also one of the things that I love about this podcast. I’ve just\, you know\, I’ve worked at Extension a lot. I’ve seen a lot of different partnerships and a lot of different people. I’ve worked with a lot of different people and I’ve seen a lot of really cool things die\, because people wanted it to be perfect before it started\, or perfect before they could make changes\, or being so uncomfortable with ambiguity that everything just fell apart. \nAnd I love the hopefulness of this podcast\, and how we make space for people to be messy\, but still equip them and empower them. Hopefully give them tools that they can use to continue trying to make changes\, you know\, to be in process and not get stuck in the mess\, but be realistic [00:07:00] about\, “Hey\, this is messy and it doesn’t have to be messy forever. Here’s some things\, here’s some stepping stones in the river so you can get somewhere new.” \nAnd that has always been one of the things that I just love about this podcast is this space for being messy\, but still kind of – challenge is the wrong word; encouraging people to try new things\, to take risks\, to not let messiness prevent them from trying. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, and to do it together\, right. And I heard that\, in some of what you were saying there\, this idea of connection and collaboration are really\, really important to\, well\, not just the podcast\, right\, but really\, the podcast is the mechanism for the work that we’re trying to put out there in the world\, and the tools that we’re trying to help people with. \nAnd so\, you know\, people are not out there alone in the wilderness. We’re really trying to show them that\, not alone. And that\, we need to be a little messy together. We need to [00:08:00] coalesce together. We need to maybe ebb and flow between those two things\, to make some of those little baby steps. \nSo when you think of connection and collaboration in your own life or work\, what experiences or communities have shaped your perspective the most? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, this is such a good question. Okay. And I say that about every question\, and I’m so sorry\, but Jessica\, you do genuinely – you ask me questions and I go\, “Huh? Oh shoot. I have to think about that one.” \nOkay. So for me\, when I’m thinking about the collaboration\, one of the very first things that I think about is being in choir. Or being in a theater production. I am a theater kid\, former theater kid\, and former choir kid. And I spent a lot of time making art\, doing plays\, singing with groups of people in school who I normally would not hang out with. And maybe we didn’t even really like each other that much. [00:09:00] But we had this shared\, common goal of\, we wanted to create something that was an experience for our community. \nAnd I\, you know\, it sometimes feels silly to think so much about choir\, but I think it genuinely is such a helpful metaphor for how to do things in community. Because if you don’t all know what you’re doing\, if you don’t all know the communication conventions\, yeah\, if you don’t know ‘what is my role\,’ one person can’t be an entire choir\, and nobody should try to be an entire choir. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Doesn’t autotune help?! \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: You know\, stacking audio\, but the joy of a choir is having people working together and working harmoniously. And sometimes you sing in unison\, and sometimes you’re all singing different things. I love that. And I love how when you’re in a section and you’re all singing the [00:10:00] alto line\, I was an alto\, you’re all singing the alto line and you have just some note that you’re holding for 16 beats. \nAnd nobody can actually hold breath that long unless you’re a trained opera singer. Okay\, you can\, 16 isn’t that long\, but I think you get what I mean. There’s a really long note and then you stagger your breathing. \nAnd I just think about that every time I’m on a team. I want to say\, “Hey\, let’s all plan our vacations so they’re timed.” And I just think about singing in a choir where you don’t want everyone to take a break at the same time. You kind of want to intersperse it. That’s such a silly metaphor\, but I genuinely think that it’s been really impactful\, because those are some of the places where I first learned\, ‘here’s what it looks like to be a group of people all coming here for the same goal\, even if we are different.’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And even if we don’t all get along\, like you said before\, which I think is\, that’s such a great point to bring up. I was a show choir and marching band person as well. [00:11:00] And that was such a good point you brought up about\, you know\, I didn’t get along with every single person in my choir or band. \nI knew I wasn’t a strong singer\, also in alto\, by the way. I knew I wasn’t a strong singer. And what people thought of that\, you know\, I avoided those people and I stuck with the people who were\, but we still had a common goal we helped each other out\, right? I wasn’t a strong singer and so I didn’t do solos. \nOther people did that\, and that helped the whole choir out. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That point. \nSo I’d like to switch gears a little bit here\, Erin\, we’ve talked a little bit about how you’ve been part of Practicing Connection in different roles in different seasons. I mean\, really\, you’ve been behind the scenes with us since last June. Ao for\, you know\, a good seven months or so. Seven\, eight months. \nSo what do you see in your time here so far? What have you seen as the heartbeat of this podcast? I feel like that’s a [00:12:00] really hard question and I’m so sorry. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah. You really didn’t pick any softball questions for me. Okay\, yeah. I would say for me\, the heartbeat of this podcast is this idea that what we do matters. Both the interviews and the practicasts really highlight how much it’s possible to make changes. And when I’m really grumpy\, I really need someone to tell me that it doesn’t have to be like this forever. \nYou know\, I’ve had some like navigating processes of burnout and I kind of really wish I had listened to this podcast earlier\, because I think a lot of what really shines for me with this podcast is just\, ‘here are tools\, here are pictures of how it could be\, here are pathways to get to somewhere new.’ \nAnd I just love how hopeful that is\, and this idea that we can make small changes and it will impact our life. And even if things are hard\, we [00:13:00] can do it better. And maybe you’re not in a place where things are hard\, but you could still have it be more or better\, or different in a good way. And that you don’t have to change everything all at once to get there\, you just have to start the process and take little steps. This podcast is so good at really focusing in on the idea that you can just do small things and they can make a big impact\, I love that. \nSo for me that’s what\, what about you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So I guess I would say\, and this is something that we’ve kind of already touched on\, but for me\, the idea that none of us are out in the wilderness doing this alone\, even though it sometimes can really feel that way. \nAnd whatever your profession is\, there’s a lot of people out there that are doing what you’re doing in their communities\, and I guess for me\, the heartbeat of this podcast is kind of reminding people that they’re not alone. \nThat you can locally [00:14:00] and\, you know\, nationally\, internationally\, seek out a community of people who care about the big issues you’re trying to address in your community\, or who care about the big issues you’re trying to address for military families. You’re not alone in that. And that to me has been the deep down heartbeat of this podcast. \nAnd maybe I’ll share a little bit\, Coral reflected on this as well\, I love how we’re all coming at this from like different angles\, ‘cause I think it’s pretty well-rounded. And look\, we’re not trying to just\, you know\, advertise for the podcast here\, but it’s a pretty well-rounded podcast\, right? \nBut Coral’s reflection goes like this: \n“I think the heartbeat of the podcast is the permission it gives people to be where they are. There’s no expectation to be\, “Figured out.” It’s about noticing\, reflecting and staying connected to yourself and others while things are unfolding. That steadiness\, that willingness to sit with complexity feels really central to [00:15:00] what this show has been.” \nAnd this is now Jessica again\, my thoughts exactly. I think everything you said\, Erin\, spot on. Everything Coral said\, spot on. And of course\, everything I said I was\, I think is spot on. And really\, this idea of not being alone\, and of having this idea that what we do matters\, Coral’s idea of sitting with complexity\, I mean\, it’s all so relevant to this moment of transition\, right? \nWe have this big moment of transition for this podcast. And I guess I’m wondering\, Erin\, how do you stay grounded and connected when you’re moving through a big change? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, well\, aside from eating cheese\, like a good Wisconsinite – it’s required. Really. It’s literally required. No. \nI mean\, the cheese here is so good. Why would you not? Why would you not? I actually know people who don’t love cheese and I love them. You don’t have to like cheese to be my friend\, to be [00:16:00] clear. I would say that\, okay\, we’re talking about change. \nWhat I do most during really tumultuous times\, big transitions\, is I like to make art. I don’t always share it with other people. Sometimes I do\, but often I’ll do what I call ‘sketch noting’ as a reflection. And I’ll ask myself a big question\, something like\, “What am I going to miss?” Or\, “What do I want to bring with me?” Or\, “What am I happy to leave behind?” Sometimes that’s a really long list. \nOr it could be a more forward-looking something. It could be\,  “What am I excited about\, about this new thing?” And then I’ll just do little sketches\, or I’ll draw little comics. \nI find that that really helps me actually pause and think about what I’m doing\, because I have to figure out how to turn words into an image. And then it makes me figure out\, “What do I actually mean by this?” And [00:17:00] also when I make little comics and sketches of my reflections. I actually go back and look at my reflections later\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: So I feel like it helps me learn better\, because I’m slowing down\, I’m pausing\, I’m reflecting. \nSo really\, I think the true answer to your question is I do reflections\, like a true practicing connection podcaster. I pause and reflect about my life\, but I just do it with art\, because my attention span is too short just sit there and think in only words\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. I really love that. The show has always encouraged that idea\, the taking a breath\, reflecting\, giving space for uncertainty and even more directly\, like we’ve actually had graphic recorders during some of our workshops. We’ve encouraged listeners to engage in creative destruction like blackout poetry\, and I’m looking forward to incorporating more of that kind of thing. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: As someone who one of her first jobs out [00:18:00] of college was in the creative economy\, economic development space\, I love to hear anytime someone wants to incorporate more art into their daily practice. You will hear me talk about this again! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. Oh yeah. I mean\, we’ve also done like improv related stuff too\, because that’s where some of my background is. So I’m looking forward to it. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Yeah\, I think it’ll be fun. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: As we wrap up this conversation and look ahead to what’s next for Practicing Connection\, I’m feeling really\, really grateful. I’m feeling grateful for where we’ve been and where we’re going. \nSo\, Erin\, I’m wondering when you imagine the future of this podcast\, I kind of want to shift\, right\, so I’m grateful for where we’ve been and of course I’m grateful for where we’re going and\, clearly as a new co-host\, I’d love to hear your thoughts on where we’re going. \nSo\, when you imagine the future of this podcast\, what do you hope it makes possible for our listeners and for the OneOp community? \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: I want to talk about [00:19:00] how we can make collaboration joyful\, how we can make work joyful. I think sometimes work can be a slog\, and that feels terrible when you’re doing work you care about\, but it feels worse when you’re doing work you don’t care about. \nI think community is really important\, and I also think that learning how to be joyful together opens up possibilities that aren’t there if we’re only being practical. I think joy and practicality are super compatible\, and people look at me\, they make faces at me when I say that. \nI also think whimsy and practicality are surprisingly complimentary\, so I love that this has been a very hopeful\, reflective space that leaves space for messiness\, and I don’t want that to ever change. \nBut I do also want the tools that we give people and the stories that we give people to also inspire [00:20:00] joyfulness\, because I think when things are hard\, and any system with people in it is gonna have hard stuff: you know\, people are messy and that’s hard. \nAnd leaving space for people to be messy sometimes means that you have to deal with hard things you normally wouldn’t have to deal with if you could just kick ’em out for being messy. And so for me\, what I have found that sustains a community is when you can develop ways of being joyful together\, and develop an identity\, not just around what you’re fighting or what you dislike\, but also about what you love. That’s kind of what I want to bring to this podcast. \nI don’t know exactly what that’s going to look like yet\, but that’s my hope for the future of the podcast\, is that we can have hope and joy as part of our work life\, which feels not at all how work is pitched to you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Part of me thinks “Erin\, that’s really unrealistic\,” but I think – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s because you’ve been told that. Yeah. This is because like society has told us that. [00:21:00] Yeah. So beautifully said. \nThank you so much\, Erin. I am so excited to begin this next chapter with you. \nERIN CARLSON RIVERA: Thank you. I’m excited to be here. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And that’s it for this episode. I want to thank Coral Owen for sharing her reflections in this episode and for all she’s contributed to Practicing Connection over the years. I’m deeply grateful to have worked alongside her and to carry forward what we built together. \nI also want to thank my co-producer and now co-host as well\, Erin Carlson Rivera\, our announcer\, Kaylyn Global Mathis\, Maggie Lucas and Joyce Vaughn for their help with marketing and Nathan Grim who composed and performed all the music here on the podcast. \nThank you so much for listening. Until next time\, keep practicing. \n[00:22:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3. \n\n\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/a-new-chapter-for-practicing-connection/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260122T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260129T110018Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260129T222903Z
UID:10001723-1769061600-1769101200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Meaningful Growth: How to Make the Most Out of Every Learning Opportunity
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODU0Njk0MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg1NDY5NDAtbWVhbmluZ2Z1bC1ncm93dGgtaG93LXRvLW1ha2UtdGhlLW1vc3Qtb3V0LW9mLWV2ZXJ5LWxlYXJuaW5nLW9wcG9ydHVuaXR5LmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTg1NDY5NDAlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 4) \nAre you tired of leaving conferences or trainings feeling overloaded – like you missed what mattered most?  \nThis was one of our most popular episodes of 2025\, and it’s as relevant as ever as we dig into the new year\, with more conferences and events on the horizon. \nCoral and Jessica reveal a simple\, powerful practice that can turn every professional development opportunity into meaningful\, actionable growth. Get ready to take charge of your learning with intention! \nJessica shares a practical reflection exercise designed to help you filter the noise\, focus on what matters to you\, and connect your learning to your real-world goals. \nWhether you’re attending a conference\, a webinar\, or any PD event\, discover how a two-minute pause can make your growth more personalized\, empowering\, and connected. \nTune in for step-by-step guidance\, insightful questions\, and actionable strategies to transform the way you learn. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]\n\n\n\n\n\nCORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hello. Thank you for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host\, Jessica is here today as well\, and we’re going to be talking about setting learning intentions. Jessica is going to be sharing today’s practice with us. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey Coral. I’m pretty good. I’m actually really looking forward to this topic series\, because I’ve had a few professional development opportunities lately\, and I realize how long it’s been now since that’s happened. To be honest\, going to these professional development opportunities\, it all felt so hectic that I’ve really appreciated what I’m learning. \nAs we’ve been putting these episodes together\, the really nice thing is that even though it’s been a while since the last conference I attended\, I’d actually forgotten how refreshing and inspiring and motivating it can be to hear how others are approaching their work\, to talk with them in the hallways and to ask them questions about how they approach [00:01:00] their projects. \nIt’s really been nice and it came at\, I think\, the perfect time for me. \nCORAL OWEN: Those can be such great touch points. I agree. I remember actually we met at a conference\, I think it was in San Antonio\, a very long time ago. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, 2016. \nCORAL OWEN: I think so. I had first begun with OneOp\, and you weren’t even quite on the project yet. Look at us now. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I know\, I know! \nCORAL OWEN: But yeah\, just so many wonderful\, just kind of a-ha light bulb moments\, and seeing people doing similar things\, maybe with a slightly different approach or angle. And it’s just like a great\, you know\, idea incubator and some fresh inputs to kind of reenergize your work. So I’m so glad that you’ve had that opportunity recently. Good deal. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. And that was a really good conference too\, I remember. \nCORAL OWEN: For sure. Oh man. And we would always love to hear what’s inspiring y’all\, our listeners. So do drop us a line if you’d love to reach out. You can reach us at Practicing [00:02:00] connection@oneop.org. We do see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nAlrighty. Let’s learn a little bit more about setting learning intentions. Jessica\, can you share a bit more about the practice you’re going to be discussing today and why you selected it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. You know\, as a team we’ve been kind of going round and round thinking about how we can best support all the participants who will be attending our annual academy this year. And our co-producer\, Erin\, she’s\, you know\, new to the team\, within the first couple of minutes of a brainstorming session she said\, “Well\, what if we produce episodes about making the most of professional development opportunities?” I don’t even think we came up with other ideas because it just felt so perfect. The idea for this series came out of the recognition that participating in professional development can often [00:03:00] feel really overwhelming. Kind of like drinking from a fire hose. \nLike I just said before\, right\, it’s been a little bit hectic and overwhelming being at these opportunities. So with so much information coming at you\, it’s really easy to walk away feeling like you may have missed what mattered the most. That’s why we’re starting with exploring the practice of setting a personal learning intention. \nAnd that’s what this practice is all about. Even a simple two minute reflection\, asking yourself what you most want to take away can really transform the experience from just kind of an information overload into maybe some meaningful growth\, or some meaningful learnings and takeaways. \nAnd I would say that we see this idea of a learning intention\, and I’m saying we\, because I think\, you know\, this has been a very co-produced episode – We see this helping in several ways. First of all\, setting a learning intention can help you design a [00:04:00] personalized experience for the learning\, right? \nThe presenters have really great learning objectives\, but if you’re setting your own learning intention\, it can ensure that you get what you wanted to get out of it\, so that the content is really meaningful and relevant to you. And then part of the reason for that is that it helps you focus. \nIt helps to kind of filter the flood of content so that you can recognize and retain what’s most valuable to you\, because you’ve identified what’s most valuable to you. And I’d say the other thing that we see this\, potentially helping with is kind of putting you in the driver’s seat of what you want. So\, I mean\, because you’re in the driver’s seat\, you’ve been empowered to listen for the content that you really want to listen for. You have developed that personalized experience. \nYou’re able then to kind of possibly increase your engagement and the likelihood of applying what you’ll learn\, because of this empowerment and the focus you’ve been able to put on [00:05:00] the topics that are meaningful to you. And then finally\, it really encourages connection\, right? If you set an intention about what you wanna get out of this\, it encourages you to notice the opportunities to connect with your peers and to tailor the experience to collaborative growth. \nAnd we’ll talk more about this in an upcoming episode. We’ll dive into this idea of connection\, and making that part of your plan for making the most out of your professional development. \nCORAL OWEN: I absolutely love the intention for this episode. So can we go ahead and just dive right in? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So like I mentioned a little bit ago\, even doing a two minute reflection can really help. So I’m going to start with an approximate two minute reflection. And then I’m going to share some follow up questions that can help if you’re stuck or unsure about what you learned. So for this two minute [00:06:00] reflection\, you’re going to start with just taking a moment\, get out a piece of paper if you want to write it. \nYou can also just think about this\, that’s fine. Get out a piece of paper\, a pen perhaps. If you want to\, you can close your eyes\, take a couple of breaths\, and just think\, “What do I want to get out of this? How does this connect to my current work or goals? What has made learning hard for me in the past and how can I support myself this time?” \nIf you identify a couple of things that you need in order to support yourself\, you may want to set those things up for yourself\, right? So write down what you need\, and kind of pursue those things that will help support your learning. So let me give you an example. Maybe because it’s a webinar\, for example\, it’s easy to be distracted by email or other notifications coming in. \nSo [00:07:00] maybe you need to just turn off all notifications\, close your email. Or maybe you need to identify if there’s anyone else you know that’s attending\, where you could maybe organize a watch party\, a virtual watch party\, or a discussion group so that you’ve kind of committed to the learning. So\, whatever it is you need\, try to arrange for that so that it will support you. \nAnd then lastly\, try to capture this. I know I said you don’t have to write it down\, and you certainly don’t\, but you may want to capture it and write it down. So\, for example\, my intention is to learn practical strategies for leading meetings so I can help my department communicate more effectively. \nRefer to this at least once during the event and maybe revisit it at the end to reflect on your progress. So if you’re stuck\, we do have actually a short list of questions that you can use to help [00:08:00] you identify what might be most important to you. I’ll admit there are times when I can’t think of an intention because I’m feeling rushed. \nI maybe just got back to 15 emails\, and now the webinar’s about to start\, and I just didn’t have any time to do it. And so\, the set of questions that we have can help support\, you could do either before the session or after. And we’re gonna have them available as a download\, but I wanna share a little snippet with you. \nSo these questions help you do things like uncovering your personal motivation for being involved\, in this particular webinar or training\, connect your learning to real world context. So that’s kind of about how does it support the work that you’re doing already\, to explore growth and change. So what might you do differently in your role? And then to focus on connection and collaboration. Who can you connect with about this? [00:09:00]\nSo\, we have a set of\, I think it’s about a dozen or so questions that can kind of help you think through that and support your professional development. \nCORAL OWEN: This was so wonderful\, Jessica. Thank you so much for guiding us through these questions and reflection points today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. You know\, I know that we do have so many great intentions when we sign up for webinars and conferences. I can’t tell you how many webinars I’ve signed up for and not been able to attend\, right? And I am always looking for ways that I can maybe just slow down my brain just a little bit. And it’s one of the reasons why I’ve really enjoyed diving into this topic\, because I think it’s something that I could work on quite a bit myself. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Just to be able to filter some of the inputs that we’re receiving and give it greater context into how it can apply\, I think is just always such a wonderful skillset to have at hand. \nWell\, that is it for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this [00:10:00] episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or colleague who may find it of interest. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3. \n\n\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/meaningful-growth/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260115T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260115T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260115T110053Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260409T154642Z
UID:10001722-1768456800-1768496400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Do You Ever Struggle to Stick to Your Goals?
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODUwMzE0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg1MDMxNDMtZG8teW91LWV2ZXItc3RydWdnbGUtdG8tc3RpY2stdG8teW91ci1nb2Fscy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4NTAzMTQzJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 3) \nDo you ever struggle to stick to your goals? Discover the WOOP method\, a powerful tool that uses obstacles as stepping stones to success. \nIn this replay episode\, one of our most popular from 2025\, discover WOOP: a science-backed goal-setting practice that helps you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. \nLearn how to apply this simple yet powerful tool to transform your habits and improve your well-being. \nPractical links from this episode: \n\nhttps://woopmylife.org/\nhttps://woopmylife.org/en/practice \n\nWe’d love to hear what’s inspiring you! Share your thoughts using the “Send us a text message” feature or email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]\n\n\n\n\n\n\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and I’m flying solo today for the first time ever! I will be rejoined by my co-hosts soon\, but today it’s just me. And I’ll be sharing a practice for goal setting that I have used successfully in the past. It’s called WOOP. \nThat’s WOOP\, and it stands for Wish\, Outcome\, Obstacle\, Plan. This practice has been instrumental in helping me overcome obstacles and change habits. I come back to it whenever I need to rethink my thinking about an issue. Let me give you an example. I used to forget to pack my lunch. Almost every day\, I would rush out the door without a lunch\, and very likely without having eaten breakfast [00:01:00] as well\, but that’s another issue for another practice on another day! \nThe problem was that this didn’t align with my financial goals. I wanted to save money\, not spend it every day. And the other problem was that this didn’t align with my health goals either. I used it as an excuse to eat fast food or to eat poorly in general\,right? \nThat food tastes good\, right? I really needed to make a change though. So one day I was listening to a podcast episode that highlighted this practice. I remember thinking that the funny name would probably help me remember it\, and when I mess up\, I could just say\, “Whoops\,” and try again. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I chuckled to myself about that very unfunny thought. \nI don’t recall who was being interviewed on the podcast\, this was quite a while ago. But what I learned was that this tool was [00:02:00] backed by research\, and that it really helped people with things like changing their behavior and realizing their goals\, becoming more physically active\, adopting a healthier lifestyle and diet. Taking better care of their own wellbeing. \nExhibiting more pro-social behavior\, and improving their performance. It sounded really impressive\, so I went to their website to learn more. The website is https://woopmylife.org/\, and I’ll make sure to have a link for you in the show notes because they’ve got some really great resources: videos\, and even an entire kit for you to use to implement this tool in your work and life. \nSo WOOP is based in the science of human motivation. It uses the very obstacles that get in our way as the catalyst for achieving our goals. It does that by helping us to imagine what those inner obstacles are. So these are the things that may be [00:03:00] the thoughts and the behaviors that we currently have\, that we can change\, that are internal to ourselves. \nSo these are not external obstacles. These are all internal obstacles. So it helps us imagine those\, and then create a plan for when those obstacles are happening. What can we do to move through that or to get around it and achieve our goals anyway? \nSo let’s learn more by getting into the practice and sharing an example. \n– break – \nAgain\, WOOP stands for Wish\, Outcome\, Obstacle and Plan\, and you can practice this in a few ways. I like to use WOOP in its shortest version. So on their website they have a kit and there’s a worksheet called “WOOP In One Glance” in that kit. That’s how I started [00:04:00] using this tool\, mostly because I’ve primarily used this tool to forge new habits\, versus making longer term goals. \nBut it can be used both ways and you can find out more at their website@woopmylife.org. So let’s get started. Start with your wish. In three to six words\, choose your wish. Choose something that is challenging\, but feasible. I’ve heard things like\, “I want to run a marathon\,” as being a wish. But my first time practicing whoop\, I said\, “I wanted to stop eating fast food for lunch.” \nI thought that would be challenging\, but also feasible. So now the next step is\, in three to six words\, again\, identify what would be the best outcome of fulfilling your wish. My answer was that\, “I would feel healthier and more energized\,” right? \nSo the next step we’ll move on to is\, what’s the obstacle? [00:05:00] Identify your main inner obstacle that holds you back from fulfilling your wish. So again\, you’re trying to do this in three to six words\, and in my case\, it was forgetting to pack my lunch or forgetting to take my lunch with me before I left. That’s more than six words\, but the word limit is really a guide to help keep you focused. \nAnd then finally\, in again\, three to six words\, note what action you can take to overcome your obstacle. So in this example\, I thought it would be a better idea to drive past the fast food restaurants and instead pull into the grocery store parking lot to make up a salad or get some other healthier foods. \nThen you’ll wanna put it all together like this: So\, you’re gonna kind of create a little bit of an “If –  then” statement. So “if”: state your obstacle\, “then I will”: state your action or thought to overcome your [00:06:00] obstacle. So “if\,” obstacle\, “then I will\,” action. Here’s what it sounds like with my example. “If I forget my lunch\, then I will go to the grocery store.” \nThat’s it. I am telling you\, this practice has been such a helpful tool in my toolbox to help me change behaviors and improve my resilience and relationship with myself. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us\, or for joining me today! If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nDo you have a favorite practice you’d like to share with us? Click\, “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number with the words “do not remove.” Type your message after that and click send. \nWe’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org instead. We’ll be back next [00:07:00] week with a brand new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333. \n\n\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/do-you-ever-struggle-to-stick-to-your-goals/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260108T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260108T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260108T110037Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260112T200205Z
UID:10001717-1767852000-1767891600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:2026 Reset: Creating Space\, Choosing Direction
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODQ0Njg3NiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg0NDY4NzYtMjAyNi1yZXNldC1jcmVhdGluZy1zcGFjZS1jaG9vc2luZy1kaXJlY3Rpb24uanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODQ0Njg3NiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 2) \nBefore you set new goals for 2026\, take a pause.  \nThis episode guides you through a gentle two‑part reset – honoring what you’re completing and choosing one honest intention for how you want to move through the year\, without pressure or over‑planning. \nThe new year often comes with pressure to have a clear plan\, big goals\, and a “new you.” In this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral offer a different kind of reset: a simple\, integrated practice in two parts – “Completion Creates Space” and “Intention Gives Direction.” \nYou’ll be guided to notice how you’re arriving\, name what you’re closing or completing\, release expectations that no longer fit\, and then choose a single word to orient how you want to be in this next season. \nThis reflection is less about productivity and more about alignment\, making room for what matters without rushing who you’re becoming. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my co-host. Coral is here as well. Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica\, I’m doing really well\, thanks. I am a little bit in that ‘early new year’ head space where there’s a mix of reflection and possibility\, and also just a little bit of pressure of having to figure things out. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I get that\, that pressure can really sneak in fast. There’s so much talk at the beginning of every year really about like resets\, goals\, fresh starts\, ‘new year\, new you\,’ you know\, \nCORAL OWEN: That was literally the next line I was going to lead with. Yeah. New year\, new me\, and not to completely throw all that out\, but just to counter that sort of like ‘revolutionizing’ and completely switching everything out. \nI really just want to slow the conversation down a bit more today. Honestly\, a meaningful reset is not just about deciding what’s next\, it’s also about acknowledging [00:01:00] what we’re coming out of\, and sort of that more gentle\, hence sustainable\, approach to a fresh start\, while also acknowledging what we’re leaving\, what we’re transitioning from. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I love anytime you can sneak a gentle way of doing things in. I love it. \nSo today we’re focusing on a reset that helps create clarity\, alignment\, and purpose\, while also letting go of what’s no longer serving us. And you’re going to be guiding us through this\, as a single practice with two parts. \nCan you share a little bit about that? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. And so we already talked a little bit about this whole\, you know\, ‘we’re coming out of and then transitioning into\,’ and so hence the framing of today’s reflection and practice as an integrated practice where there is a pairing of two parts that are indeed meant to work together. \nSo the whole idea here is simple. It’s that completion is creating the space that we need to invite intention\, which gives us direction. And [00:02:00] if we skip that completion and just jump feet first or head first\, depending on how adventurous you are in the new year\, if we just jump straight in with the intention of moving forward and adding\, a lot of times we just carry a little bit of old weight\, maybe even some baggage into a new chapter or a new season. \nAnd so this practice that invites you to pause\, close the chapter intentionally\, it doesn’t mean you have to have everything wrapped up and finalized. We’ll get into that here in just a second. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You don’t have to drop everything either. \nCORAL OWEN: No\, no. It’s not like\, ‘Okay\, 2025\, you know\, December 31st\, all that’s finished and it’s a clean slate.’ \nBut it’s\, yeah\, just kind of buttoning up some loose ends\, acknowledging\, and then we choose a direction that feels aligned without this pressure or over-planning. So\, really excited to dig into this because this honestly is one of my favorite times of year\, due to this sort of fresh feel\, but still carrying a version of ourselves\, into that fresh start. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that [00:03:00] feels like a really grounded approach to a reset. And so\, I guess let’s just get right into the practice. Yeah\, take it away\, Coral! \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. So we’ll kick things off\, with the beginning. And so if you’re able\, this is a great moment to slow down or\, you know\, if you’re sort of in a more hectic space right now while you’re listening to it\, maybe just pause right here and come back to us when you have a little bit more calm and centeredness or quiet\, because this is a reflective piece that we are starting with. \nSo we would invite you to grab a notebook. Just take a few quiet minutes if you can find those in your day\, and you can also move through this entire bit once or return to it into segments\, sometimes that can be helpful. So this is not about judgment or productivity\, it’s just about alignment and awareness – is the energy I would invite you to bring into this. \nSo for the first part of the first piece\, it’s this whole idea again of completion. Or the wrapping up\, the resolution is creating space. [00:04:00] And this is true in that endings deserve attention as well\, because it gives us that threshold over which to step into a new space. \nSo we’re going to set the scene\, we already talked about that. We’re going to take a breath\, remind ourselves that this is about noticing\, not about evaluating\, and just check in with yourself\, see how you feel. How am I feeling as I begin this reflection? “Am I good?” is a question to ask yourself. And again\, there is no right answer here. It’s just really important to acknowledge the energy that you’re bringing into this reflective practice. \nSo first\, step two of part one\, we’re going to reflect on the year or season you’re moving out of. Doesn’t have to be this huge deep dive or anything wild. Just a few things to consider and just\, again\, put that bow on the previous year of 2025. \nSome things to think about. What am I completing or closing? What challenges did I move [00:05:00] through? What efforts or growth deserve acknowledgement? And they don’t have to be huge. They might be very small bite-size\, but very meaningful nonetheless. And perhaps\, what did I learn about myself? \nYou may have other questions that are worth consideration\, but those are just a few to begin with\, and again\, completion does not require perfect outcomes. It simply asks you what to name\, what was real to you in this previous year. \nFrom there\, we are going to release what is no longer serving us. So you may ask yourself what expectations\, roles\, or commitments am I ready to set down? Another question you may follow that up with is\, what am I holding onto out of habit\, guilt\, momentum\, that is not out of alignment. \nAnd you can even tell yourself sometimes these expectations\, or just bits of ourselves that can get real sticky\, in sort of a\, you know\, not intentional way\, you can even tell yourself\, “I’m allowed to let this go.” That permission of just setting something down [00:06:00] that is perhaps holding you back or holding you down\, this release may actually be a little bit emotional\, or a lot emotional. \nThat’s okay. But this is what is going to give you clarity and space to move into part two. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That\, Coral\, is often one of my favorite parts of an end of year reflection. As you know\, I do end of year reflections all the time\, and I really love to just think through\, well\, for one thing\, I always feel really accomplished going through all the things that I’m proud of and what I learned about myself. \nI always feel really accomplished doing that\, but it really does feel good to kind of close that chapter and start thinking fresh\, start thinking for a new direction. So let’s get into part two now. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So now that we’ve created some space\, we’ve moved into intention\, and we’re moving into this intentionality\, not as a list of goals\, just to\, you know\, tick the box on\, but as an orientation of where we’re headed to make sure that we’re moving in a purposeful [00:07:00] direction. \nSo for the next bit\, you could call this step four\, we are going to choose one word. So ask yourself what word captures how I want to move through this next chapter or next year. \nAlso\, this is something that I do reflect on myself. Sometimes the year feels very big. Maybe you just focus on the first quarter or first six months of the year. Because sometimes it’s hard to know what is life going to look like a year from now? \nSo if 12 months feels like a big chunk of time\, shrink it down. That’s okay\, you don’t have to do an assessment of what you want to accomplish\, but more so how do you want to be? And this being can be encapsulated in that one word that feels honest and supportive. \nJess\, do you have a\, actually just as a sidebar\, do you have a word that you’re considering for 2026? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I do. I’m still kind of formulating it\, but right now the word that comes to mind for [00:08:00] me is\, ‘ease.’ \nCORAL OWEN: I like that a lot. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Building in more ease. I mean\, how I want to be is ‘ease’. That doesn’t make sense grammatically\, but that’s the word that’s coming to mind for me. So\, I’m going to continue kind of iterating on that. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. One of my mantras a year prior was Let it Be Easy\, and this year it’s ‘expand.’ \nSo\, awesome. Thanks for sharing that\, Jess. \nSo from there\, step five is\, define it for yourself. So a few things to consider once you’ve selected your word – and also you can change your word as you move through the year\, we’ve actually got a mid-year check-in episode\, I think it was July 31st of 2025\, if you want to reevaluate\, you can go back to that one. \nBut for now\, as we’re considering our word of 2026 to kick the year off\, you can ask yourself\, what does this word mean to me right now? Additionally\, how would I recognize it’s showing up in everyday life? \nSo this is not [00:09:00] necessarily like your slogan\, but more as a lens by which you can use to just anchor yourself when you’re making decisions. You know\, is this decision\, direction\, action\, activity in alignment with – insert your word. It can give you clarity pretty quickly. \nSo from there\, to wrap things up\, step six is carry it forward gently with grace. So there is nothing here to force\, and again\, when decisions come up\, you can ask\, what would it look like to move in this direction today? \nThis is simply that intention doing its work quietly and consistently. No big\, heroic movements. It’s just that incremental shift in the direction that is going to lead you to where you’d like to be. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love how this keeps intention from turning into pressure and putting pressure on yourself. It feels like something that you can return to again and again\, especially if you’re doing it gently\, and\, in [00:10:00] my case\, with ease. \nCORAL OWEN: I see what you did there. Exactly. Yeah. This is not meant to be a one time\, you know\, go through it\, reflect\, and then stick it on the shelf. This is something that can anchor your year. I actually\, with the word\, have written that some people will do\, like\, stamp jewelry\, or I tend to write it someplace on my big grass calendar that’s in my office. \nYou know\, write it at the bottom of that calendar\, just someplace that you can see it consistently. A sticky note on your desk or your laptop\, so that you can have that north star if you will. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Nobody can see me\, but every year I get mine tattooed on my face\, and then I just like get a line crossed through it\, and then I get the next one. \nCORAL OWEN: Rinse\, repeat\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right\, right. And you said\, you know\, don’t do this and then put it on the shelf. I would say\, do this and put it on the refrigerator\, [00:11:00] so that you can see it every time. \nSo that you’ve got something like you said\, some sort of reminder somewhere that you look at regularly. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. That’s a great suggestion. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I look at my refrigerator regularly. I don’t know about you\, but – \nCORAL OWEN: A thousand percent. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So as we wrap up\, maybe take a moment to notice what feels lighter or what feels clearer. Even just a little bit\, just a little lighter\, a little \nclearer. \nCORAL OWEN: Yep. And just remember to bring everything home: completion\, create space\, and intention that gives you direction. You don’t have to rush either part. We’ve actually talked about\, just in recent episodes\, that in between space of ‘becoming.’ \nThis is a really key thing to keep in mind here\, right? That sometimes there is a wrap up phase that we do carry into the new year. It’s not like a light switch. So don’t rush the completion\, but acknowledge things that may be coming to a close. And then go ahead and just start those sort of bite-sized atomic [00:12:00] habits (that’s a great reread at the end of the year too)\, that are going to begin edging you in the direction you want to be in. \nAgain\, you’re not completely becoming someone new. It’s about moving forward\, maybe shedding a bit of your old skin\, and growing towards wherever it is you want to be with more alignment and less weight. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Okay. Awesome. Thanks so much\, Coral. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. \nIf this conversation resonated\, click the share button in your podcast app. Share it with a friend or a colleague. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:13:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/2026-reset-creating-space-choosing-direction/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20260101T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20260101T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20260101T110009Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260112T193941Z
UID:10001716-1767247200-1767286800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Beyond Sleep: Four Kinds of Rest We All Need
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODQwNzY5MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTg0MDc2OTItYmV5b25kLXNsZWVwLWZvdXIta2luZHMtb2YtcmVzdC13ZS1hbGwtbmVlZC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4NDA3NjkyJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 7\, Episode 1) \nIf you’re exhausted but time off hasn’t really helped\, the problem might not be how much you rest\, but what kind of rest you’re getting.  \nThis episode explores four different kinds of rest – physical\, mental\, emotional\, and creative – and offers simple ways to notice what you actually need right now. \n“Get more rest” is common advice\, but it can feel discouraging when sleep or a day off doesn’t make a dent in your exhaustion. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica unpack four different kinds of rest: physical rest for your body\, mental rest from constant thinking and decision‑making\, emotional rest from hosting and holding others’ feelings\, and creative rest that gives you space to play and explore without being productive. \nThrough real‑life examples and practical ideas\, they invite you to notice which type of rest you might be craving and experiment with small\, accessible ways to restore yourself in this season. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][00:00:00]\nCORAL OWEN: Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host\, Jessica is here as well\, and today we are going to be talking about getting the rest you actually need. Jessica\, how are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m doing pretty good. As you know\, we’re recording this toward the end of the year. I found myself really needing to focus on rest\, so\, I’m looking forward to talking about this topic today. I think I’ve kind of self-inflicted an impossible to-do list during the holiday season this year. \nAnd it’s all stuff that I enjoy doing\, but I cram it into the same week that I should be also resting and enjoying myself and time with my family. So\, I mean\, have you ever come back to work after a vacation and felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation? \nCORAL OWEN: No\, never. Yeah\, Jess. All the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, okay! I was like\, “I need to learn from you!” \nCORAL OWEN: All the time! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: But okay\, so this also afflicts you. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh yeah. No\, there [00:01:00] are so many times\, I mean\, even if it’s just not even like a big\, chunky break\, like\, the holiday season\, even if it’s just sometimes like a long weekend or we’ve taken a short trip somewhere. Or even if it’s just like a staycation at home\, I’m like\, “Oh\, hmm\, why am I so exhausted? \nSo\, yeah\, sometimes it’s just a wonder where that battery drain comes from. But no\, that is so incredibly relatable. I think a lot of people probably feel the same way. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And it’s really discouraging sometimes\, like even more so if\, quote\, “get more rest” is the only advice or support that people offer when you share about how you’re doing. \nSo like that just kind of adds to that frustration when you’re sharing about\, you know\, “Hey\, I’ve got a lot on my plate.” \n“Oh\, well just say ‘no’ to more things.” Or\, “Well\, you should get some more rest. Oh\, you should rest.” \nSo before I learned about different ways to rest\, I would get resentful anytime someone told me to rest. So why should I rest if it doesn’t [00:02:00] help? Because I’m taking time off right now and I’m feeling it with things I enjoy\, but also it’s like a long list of things. \nSo I know that I could say no to some of those things\, but you know\, it could also be that you don’t need more rest\, you just need a different kind of rest\, and that’s why I’m excited to talk about this today. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s really interesting. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever thought about the different types of rest\, but as I think\, I’m just thinking through my mental catalog of instances. Like in memories in the past. It’s like\, yeah\, I’ve definitely had\, you know\, sort of that classical recipe. \nWe were like\, “Get some rest.” And I’m like\, “Oh yeah\, I’ll catch up on some sleep or go sit on the beach for a little extra time.” But I think there are different seasons of life or different spaces where we’re in different roles and we can’t necessarily just unplug. \nThere’s a lot more activity or different types of ways we’re moving through life\, so I am actually very excited to learn more about what you’re going to be walking us through today.[00:03:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, you know\, I think often when we talk about rest\, we think about sleeping more\, or sitting and doing nothing. Maybe reading\, this is a kind of rest. \nBut maybe the part of you that needs rest isn’t your body. Maybe you need to rest your brain or you need to take a break from being productive\, which is the loop I’m in right now\, right? \nSo I’m doing things I enjoy\, but I have this need to be productive. It isn’t always intuitive to figure out what kind of rest you need. \nSo I’m going to be walking through four different kinds of rest for each type. We’re going to have a short explanation of what it is\, and a few ideas for how to try out that type of rest. \nSo we’re kind of doing this a little different. Normally\, we like to talk a little bit\, and then we have a specific practice\, but we’re actually going to go through a type of rest and then we’re going to talk about how you can try that out\, and then we’ll go into the next type. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds great\, and again\, I’m very\, very much looking forward to this because it’s such a [00:04:00] salient and I think very ubiquitous topic to explore this time of year. \nIs there anything\, Jessica\, that we should be listening for in particular as you’re walking us through these practices today or types of things you’re unpacking? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that’s a really good question. So I would say that as you listen\, I would encourage you to look for what sounds exciting or interesting that can often be a sign that that’s something you’re craving right now. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds good. I’m gonna file that away. Do you want to kick things off? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So\, the first kind of rest is one that most people are going to be familiar with\, and that’s physical rest. That’s often the first type of rest we think of when someone says we should get more rest. \nSo this kind of rest can look lots of different ways\, but it typically deals with sleep\, stillness\, or letting your body physically recover. \nThe goal is to give your body time to heal or restore its energy. So\, signs you might need physical [00:05:00] rest are things like trouble staying awake\, a general fatigue\, consistent headaches\, tight muscles\, or being sore or achy. Some ways to get physical rest are to\, the obvious\, take a nap or let yourself sleep in or sleep a little bit longer. \nWear comfortable clothes and lounge. That’s a great way to get this kind of rest\, clearly from the energy behind that. That’s one of my favorite ways – is just to throw on some uncomfortable clothes and lounge. Or you could take a slow walk or do gentle stretches to help relax your body. \nAnd drinking water without doing other tasks at the same time is another way to get this kind of rest. And one thing that people don’t always think about when it comes to physical rest is giving yourself a break from overstimulating things like screens\, bright lights\, loud sounds and dramatic temperatures. \nConsider dimming your lights\, putting [00:06:00] down your screens for 10 to 20 minutes and giving your body a break from stimulation. The one exception that I have to this is sometimes\, I really enjoy those sound baths\, and I’ll go to YouTube when I’m going to take a little break like this. \nI’ll go to YouTube first\, which we’re trying to tell you\, put down your screens\, but I’ll go to YouTube and I’ll find one of these sound bath videos. I’ll turn that on\, and often those sound baths will\, like\, they’ll dim their own screen and they’ll go dark after a little. I don’t watch it. I just listen\, you know\, I close my eyes and listen. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, those are a lot of great suggestions. and I think too\, one of the things that comes to mind is sometimes I have a tendency to stay up maybe a little longer than I should. So also back\, you know\, walking that time to bed backwards rather than like\, okay\, say you can’t sleep in\, can you go to bed a little earlier too? \nBut those are all wonderful suggestions. What is the second type of rest that you’re going to take us through? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. This might be the second most thought of type I [00:07:00] would say: mental rest. You know\, this is taking a break from thinking – tasks like problem solving or meetings or answering emails\, answering text messages quickly\, switching between contexts\, or constantly keeping track of time\, right. \nTaking a break from those kinds of things. The main goals of this kind of rest are mental quiet\, which sounds lovely when I say that. Just those two words together. Mental. Quiet. \nAnd space to stop paying attention or remembering. And I would even say permission to stop paying attention or having to remember something. \nSome signs that you might need mental rest are maybe you’re having a hard time making decisions. You’re having a hard time understanding what people are saying when they’re saying it. You’re struggling to initiate tasks\, or you keep forgetting something important. \nAnd this is a common type of rest. Mental rest is a common type of rest needed by parents\, managers and people who work with [00:08:00] ideas or relationships. But obviously we all need a little bit of mental rest sometimes\, right? \nAnd a few ways to get this type of rest: I schedule a chunk of time where you can just default your decisions\, reread or rewatch something familiar and enjoyable\, or you could track time by how the sun changes\, instead of maybe your phone\, or by listening to a playlist or an album instead of setting a timer. So there’s just a few examples. \nThere’s probably a lot of other ideas for taking mental rest as well. It’s just kind of trying to give you a taste\, find what works for you. \nCORAL OWEN: Those are all such key things. And I think a lot of times\, and I’m just going to speak for myself here\, I think so many of us are so accustomed to operating at such a high operational tempo and cadence and just being on overdrive. \nOne of the other things too that come to mind here is\, just talking about deep work. [00:09:00] There’s so many just things that we’re keeping a touch point on day to day. That a lot of times that task switching is what sends me in personally\, into the sort of just overload space where I find that\, sometimes it’s even hard to realize that you need that mental brain break. \nBut yeah\, this is a great suggestion list. Thank you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s go into emotional rest next. So I think the first two\, the physical rest and the mental rest\, were two that I think we most often would think of when we’re thinking of rest. But emotional rest is also a thing. \nSo this can look like not having to hide your own emotions\, or help others process or carry their emotions. It can also be a break from having to be ‘on’ as a host or a leader\, or just having to be on a break from just having to be on period. If you’re in a helping profession\, or you work in a highly formal setting\, this might be a form of rest that you need. \nOne of the main goals of emotional [00:10:00] rest is having space to be your authentic self without having to be a caretaker for someone else. So some of the signs that you might need emotional rest are maybe you’ve got lots of resentment when people ask you for help\, or you’re feeling overwhelmed by your feelings. Maybe you’re irritable or you want to pick fights over small things. You start\, you know\, yelling at people in traffic or thinking of yelling at them. Like sometimes that’s what I do. I don’t say it out loud\, but I think it. \nOne thing going wrong might ruin your whole day. So that’s another sign that you might need emotional rest\, or maybe you feel like no one actually knows you. And so some ideas for getting this type of rest: maybe schedule time with a friend who knows you really well. \nSchedule some blackout hours where you don’t answer your phone or email. Maybe schedule some buffer times between formal or high stakes situations so that you can prepare [00:11:00] yourself mentally and emotionally\, and so that you can kind of debrief with yourself mentally and emotionally after. \nCORAL OWEN: Just take some space. That’s a great one. Jessica\, is there a fourth? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. The next one is Creative rest. So this is actually\, rather than\, it’s not about taking a break from creativity. This is about space to try new things without needing to be productive. \nSo a lot of us might be in jobs that require a little bit of creativity. Many people are\, even if they don’t think of it that way. Anytime you have to do problem solving or\, you know\, any kind of creation of programming or whatever\, that is creative work. \nBut a lot of people don’t think of it that way. But that’s also being productive. And so this is about the space to try new things\, about having to be productive. So this type of rest is especially important for people who are starting new things. \nPeople who are doing creative or problem solving work\, some signs that you might need this type of [00:12:00] rest are maybe\, you’re jealous of someone else who is trying fun new things. Maybe you’re not enjoying things that you used to love doing. You can’t name a single thing in your life that you don’t have smart goals for. \nOr maybe you’re bored or irritated\, maybe you dream about quitting your job to join the circus or start a business\, or to live alone in the woods. Those are just a few signs that you might need creative rest. \nAnd here’s some examples of what you can do to get this kind of rest. Maybe you could explore something that you’re curious about without an end goal. So just go down a rabbit hole. Or\, you don’t have to have a goal in mind. Just be curious. You could play without pressure to be good at what you’re doing. \nYou don’t have to become skillful at something – you can just play. Maybe trying out a new sport or trying out a new hobby just for [00:13:00] fun. Not having to be perfect at it. Not having to suddenly become good and then monetize it or whatever that is\, like\, just do it for fun. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s such a fun one to end on. What\, just for giggles\, Jess\, what’s something that you would spend your creative rest time on? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I do a lot of things. I often like to joke that I am a – this actually took the pressure off quite a bit: a long time ago\, I decided that my favorite hobby is learning new things and taking on new hobbies\, and trying those hobbies out once. And then putting that away sometimes for many years. \nSo I\, a long time ago\, I used to buy\, like I used to think I was gonna be like a wood carver or whatever\, and I would buy all of the materials for being a wood carver. And then I would maybe make something once. And usually it was beautiful and I was proud of it and I loved it\, but then I wouldn’t want to pick up the tools or anything again. \nAnd so I really [00:14:00] reframed how I thought about my own – so I have not answered your question yet – right now I would say\, I have been doing some creative writing. \nI enjoy writing. A lot of\, I don’t know\, it’s a mix of things\, but sci-fi right now has been what I’ve been writing\, sci-fi comedy kind of thing. And then I also crochet\, but it only\, I only do like one or two projects a year. So how about you? Do you have something? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. It’s been fun being a toddler mom. My little guy’s three and a half and his best buddy is five. And just with the kids\, I find that a lot of the creative things that they get into\, of course\, require parental supervision to make sure things don’t go sideways. \nSo like\, we made gingerbread houses last week and they were\, you know\, wildly just creative and fun and nonsensical. I’m like\, “For sure we can have an entire roof of marshmallows. That totally works.” You know\, so just [00:15:00]\, that’s been really fun to actually\, I found myself a lot more\, yeah\, enamored with just the fun little goofy things that these kids get wound up in. \nI’m like\, this is actually a blast. So yeah\, just\, just kid crafts right now. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I went to the library not too long ago with a friend and we\, it was a Lego night\, and we grabbed a Lego kit. Each of us had a Lego kit and we just sat there quietly for the most part. We talked sometimes\, but we were mostly silently putting things together\, and it was lovely. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, just stuff like that. So I think that that’s always a fun place to start too. So\, awesome. \nWell\, Jess\, thank you so much. Very selfishly\, perhaps I’ve really enjoyed this conversation today\, and seeing these new categories\, really\, it does get me excited about rest in a way that I’m normally not. \nI think a lot of us tend to just be in that high performing\, always on space. And so to think through different ways [00:16:00] that we’re not\, you know\, maybe feeling like a\, not a potato\, but being a couch barnacle\, is good. And obviously that’s one of our categories. \nBut\, I think giving ourselves permission to rest in different ways that may align with where we actually need to be\, stepping back or turning that dial down a few notches\, is just\, it’s really nice. Thank you so much. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I really enjoyed this and I really needed it right now\, so it was great. \nCORAL OWEN: Hopefully this also resonated with all of our listeners. And as always\, thank you all so much for joining us. That is it for today’s episode. Also\, we want to pass a special thanks to Erin Carlson Rivera for producing today’s episode. If you enjoyed our talk today\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague\, and we will be back next week with a new practice. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \n[00:17:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/beyond-sleep-four-kinds-of-rest-we-all-need/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251225T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251225T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251225T110013Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260108T193332Z
UID:10001714-1766642400-1766682000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Flamingos and Focus Days: One Simple Practice for a More Intentional Year
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODM2NTYzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgzNjU2MzQtZmxhbWluZ29zLWFuZC1mb2N1cy1kYXlzLW9uZS1zaW1wbGUtcHJhY3RpY2UtZm9yLWEtbW9yZS1pbnRlbnRpb25hbC15ZWFyLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgzNjU2MzQlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 51) \nBefore rushing into big resolutions\, what if you paused to ask: “What needs to stop\, what deserves to stay\, and what small experiment could actually support the life and work I want?”  \nIn this reflections episode\, Coral and Jessica get honest about boundaries\, comparison\, joy\, and work rhythms – and invite you to do the same\, in three simple prompts. \nIn this special reflections episode\, Coral and Jessica step away from resolutions and dig into something more honest: what they’re stopping\, keeping\, and starting in the new year. \nThey talk about protecting a true no meetings day\, letting go of comparison with past versions of themselves\, and keeping small practices like tiny Post‑it to‑do lists\, buffer time between meetings\, and spontaneous phone calls that make work feel more human. \nYou’ll also hear how “getting your pink back” through joy outside of work can change how you show up to your roles. \nThe episode closes with a simple reflection you can do in just a few minutes: name one thing to stop\, one to keep\, and one to start this year. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks so much for tuning into the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Coral\, and today we’re trying something a little different. \nSo this is our reflections episode\, and we’re going to share something that we’re letting go of: one thing we’re keeping and one thing we are starting in the new year. \nAnd the whole idea is to slow down just long enough to notice what is actually working for us\, what’s not\, and what we want to perhaps experiment with next. \nAnd of course\, I am not doing this alone. My lovely co-host\, Jessica\, is here to guide us through it. Jessica\, how are you feeling today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: “My lovely assistant.” That’s what. I’m doing good. I’m doing great. I’m feeling really motivated. You know\, anytime I get a chance to stop for a moment and assess where I’m at\, it actually feels really good. \nAnd I guess maybe years ago I used to maybe beat myself up a little bit when I would assess where I’m at\, and if it wasn’t sort of quote unquote “good enough” or whatever\, but now it just feels really good. \nJust pause for a [00:01:00] moment\, see where I’m at\, make adjustments. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I really do feel that too\, and it’s so easy to move from one thing to the next. Just things are so busy\, and I think so many people can relate to that\, and it’s so\, you know\, I think just natural to jump from one thing to the next without pausing to ask\, ‘is this still serving me? What do I wanna do more of?’ \nAnd I am honestly\, I’m really glad that you came up with the idea for this episode\, because I am already planning out my 2026 calendar. And so being able to actually\, you know\, craft this episode with you and walk through it\, it was a great opportunity. \nSo I’m really looking forward to talking through some honest answers today. And yeah\, it’s a good practice. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m speaking of honest answers\, we’d love to hear from you\, our listeners\, how have you added moments of pause into your life? Share your strategies with us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. [00:02:00]\n– break – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So\, let’s talk about the first section of the episode\, what we’re choosing to stop in our professional lives and why. \nSo this is what I’m stopping and one expectation that I want to\, I’m gonna say\, I want to gently stop is the idea that I’m available to meet every day of the week. I have a split appointment across two\, sort of three\, projects\, and the default has become that my calendar is kind of fair game all the time. \nIt’s not sustainable\, and it doesn’t leave much room for the deep focused work that those projects actually require. And I want to be clear\, this is not an expectation that others have placed on me. It’s an expectation that I’ve lived up to by not protecting more time. And it’s kind of funny because I actually feel like I often protect my time through things like time blocking\, but sometimes time blocking isn’t enough. \nSo here’s my stop. I’m working toward at [00:03:00] least one true ‘no meetings’ day each week. I know it may not be perfect right away\, but even naming that boundary and beginning to protect it feels really important. My hope is that it gives me a little more calm\, a little more focus\, and ultimately better work across all the projects I’m responsible for. \nSo Coral\, what’s on your stop list? If I had to sum it up\, mine was kind of about boundaries. What are you putting a boundary around this year? And what do you think about what I just said\, like this ‘no meetings’ day. Did you ever do that? \nCORAL OWEN: Oh yeah\, it’s something I’ve aspired to for quite some time. I actually implemented that for myself this past year. Usually it’s Fridays\, and it has made a huge difference. So I am so excited to see how that serves you in the year. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Did I tell you how many regular meetings I have scheduled for Fridays? They’re regularly scheduled meetings on Fridays. \nCORAL OWEN: I know\, I try to get on your calendar all the time. But no\, that is such a good one. And you know\, one of the sayings [00:04:00] that I love\, and just\, lean back onto quite often is this concept or practice of\, ‘Your no’s protect your yeses.’ And that’s really what this practice for you is making me think of. Saying no to more meeting times so that you can say yes to\, not to put words in your mouth\, but\, you know\, maybe deeper calm\, deeper work\, creativity. \nSo\, personally\, one of the things I am personally parking in 2025\, there’s a few of them\, but the top is the list of the comparison game. And I have worked very diligently and intentionally\, over the past number of years\, to really get good at defining my own measures of success. \nI call it like\, you know\, have your own measuring stick of success\, rather than looking at someone else’s and going\, well\, ‘How do I stack up to that?’ I really am good at\, you know\, keeping the rails on\, and looking just at my own progress and status. \nBut I do\, I have found myself a lot this year. Maybe it’s just the stage of life that I’m in\, in my mid thirties. but I have found myself from time to time thinking\, “Oh\, I used to be [00:05:00] more…” blank\, or\, “Better at… “ blank. And it’s just so not helpful. \nAnd so\, the personal comparison to different seasons of life and different versions of myself is what I am definitely going to stop\, as of 2025. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Coral\, that is wonderful. That was actually my other one I chose. Yes\, it was my other one. This comparison\, and especially professional comparison\, like\, “I have so many amazing colleagues that are doing so many amazing things\,” and I often look at their work and I’m like\, “Oh wow. Well\, what I’m doing isn’t nearly as good as what they’re doing.” \nBut the thing is\, I’ve heard the same thing other people have said\, “Whoa\, what you’re doing is really amazing.” And so I think we all kind of do it to each other\, but it can lead to unhealthy thoughts about your own work. It can lead to unhealthy thoughts about your season of life. And yeah\, that was my other one\, but I decided to talk [00:06:00] mostly about protecting my time instead. \nCORAL OWEN: Wow. Yeah\, both of those are very impactful\, so probably a lot of real relatability there. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, once you clear out a few stops\, it’s easier to see what’s worth holding onto. So let’s talk about what we’re keeping\, Coral. Let’s start with you. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. So I know that we are focusing on the professional realm here\, but there is a lot of overlap\, at least that I found in\, you know\, just kind of energetic availability and bandwidth of how your personal life allows you to show up in your professional life. And so I’m\, you know – three and a half years postpartum and momming and just wearing a lot of different hats\, has really absorbed my time. \nAnd I had a friend recently\, she shared an anecdote about how flamingos – just stay with me here about how flamingos\, they lose their vibrant coloration while caring for their young\, like just a very intense season. And as they come out of that period\, they get their pink back bit by bit. [00:07:00] I loved that and it really resonated with me. \nAnd what I’ve related to this closely this past year is I’ve begun to create and hold space for things. Mainly in\, you know\, kind of my personal side of life\, like playing music again and you know\, being more intentional. Just these small things that have kind of fallen by the wayside since\, you know\, having my son a couple years ago. \nAnd I really feel like I am stepping back into that full color version of myself. And the reason I’m talking about this is that just this like joy and spark\, it’s allowed me to tap into that creative side professionally a lot more. And I just\, I feel like I have just a lot more like solution space thinking: positive\, kind of diverse avenues of like where we could take a particular project or insights\, it just feels good. \nSo yeah\, I’m just\, I’m going to keep holding space for just those small touch points that have nothing to do with my identity\, or maybe a little bit [00:08:00] of\, you know\, mom visits. There’s always some overlap\, right? \nBut yeah\, just those kind of seemingly nonsensical things that just bring whimsy and joy and a lot of creativity to a lot of different spaces. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that. And I love this idea of\, during times of intense\, we might lose our color a little bit. And then\, when things have calmed down a little bit\, you can come back. I love the phrase\, stepping back into your ‘full color self.’ \nThat’s beautiful. Well\, I brought a few keeps with me\, so you can stop me anytime and just make me shut up because I couldn’t choose between them. \nSo one thing I’m definitely keeping\, and this is such a little logistical detail\, but I have these tiny two and a half – they’re not really that tiny\, they’re just the standard size post-it notes. I think they’re about two and a half by two and a half inches. That’s where I write my daily to-dos. It sounds kind of silly\, but limiting myself to what fits on that little [00:09:00] square has made a really big difference. It forces me to choose what really matters for the day. \nAnd I actually also\, I try not to fill it. I try to only fill the top two thirds of it\, but it forces me to choose what really matters. And it keeps me from staring at a huge list and feeling immediately overwhelmed. And on days when I actually stick to the post-it\, pun not really intended\, I end the day feeling more accomplished and less frazzled. \nSo for me\, that little square is not just a piece of paper\, it is a daily prioritization practice that I want to carry forward. \nCORAL OWEN: So Jess\, this is so funny. I actually started doing that a couple months ago too. It’s such a game changer. Good for you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, yeah\, I have\, oh\, I gotta lie. So I’m also keeping the habit of building buffer time between meetings. Only a month or two ago I started to space [00:10:00] things out a little bit more intentionally\, even though it does make my calendar look and feel a little bit cluttered\, to be honest. I need to figure out what to do about that feeling of being cluttered. \nBut the breathing room has been huge. It’s given me time to process\, to reset\, to jot some notes or just grab water. Sometimes I’ll take like a five minute walk\, instead of just jumping from one thing to the next on fumes\, or coming in late to meetings. \nAnd look. I don’t mind the whole lateness thing. But it’s more\, I feel stressed if I’m joining a meeting late. It doesn’t mean that my days are magically slow or easy\, but those buffers have made my schedule feel a lot more humane. So that’s definitely something I want to keep doing. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, there’s even like research to back that up about task switching\, and how much time it takes you to shift from one 15 or 20 minutes or\, it’s at least that long. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it’s why interruptions can be really difficult for people. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And I did bring one more. I wasn’t going to share it and – \nCORAL OWEN: Good [00:11:00] things come in threes. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Okay. Yeah. Right. So the last keep for me is making more phone calls. I rediscovered recently how much I love a good no-video call\, or even if it’s video\, a quick unexpected check-in where someone’s just calling me on Teams\, randomly. \nSo\, even if the call is in video\, as long as it’s spontaneous\, I’ll take it. I’m also holding the assumption that if I call someone randomly\, spontaneously\, I have zero expectation that they’ll answer. And if they call me\, I’m making the assumption that they feel the same if they’re just calling me randomly. \nThat removes a lot of pressure\, and it keeps it from falling onto the to-do list. Because you know\, text and email are great\, and instant messaging or messaging apps\, but sometimes all of those written messages – and as we were talking about before we started recording\, even a recorded message that is sent to you the same way that a written message would be sent to you – it just kind of feels like another pile of [00:12:00] tasks sometimes that I need to get to. \nSo picking up the phone even briefly has helped me feel a little bit more connected\, and a little bit less buried in text-based communication. So that’s a practice I want to keep\, but I promise I won’t do it to anyone who really abhors phone calls. \nCORAL OWEN: I definitely have my phone call people\, and then my text people\, and then my voice memo. Yeah\, just know your people. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Exactly. And you know\, you can even talk ahead of time. If there’s a new connection you’re making\, you could say\, “Hey\, I enjoy phone calls\, even random ones. I won’t do that if that’s not something that you like. But if you’re okay with it\, I have no expectation you’re gonna pick up. But sometimes I think that’s nice.” \nAnd believe it or not\, there are some people who are like\, yeah\, “I’m cool with that.” \nCORAL OWEN: I just love that\, that’s such a simple way to practice connection going into the new year. That’s awesome. \nAlright\, so Jess\, we’ve talked about some things to let go. We’ve talked and honored about what’s working. [00:13:00] Let’s perhaps move into imagining what’s next. So what little experiments do we want to try this year? Do you want to go first? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’ll go first. So the new practice that I’m starting is kind of related to that boundary I mentioned earlier. I feel like it’s almost cheating\, because I already mentioned it. \nI want to institute a true ‘no meetings’ day. I’ve been thinking about this for a while\, but I’m ready to treat it as a real experiment\, instead of just a nice idea. \nMy hope is that carving out one meeting-free day will help my work feel calmer\, more connected and more creative. Calmer\, because I’m not scrambling from call to call more\, connected\, because I can actually focus on the relationships and the projects and\, you know\, some of the creative work and the deep work in front of me\, and more creative because there’s finally that uninterrupted time and space to think and to make. \nSo it might take some negotiation with my different teams\, but that’s the thing I’m committed [00:14:00] to trying to start. I may have to begin with two half days and work my way up to a whole day\, but I have to start somewhere. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So I\, again\, I’m very excited to see how that works out for you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Me too. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so for me personally\, I think I already alluded a bit to how this recent season of life has been a little bit of a ‘hold onto your hat’ sort of operation. And ultimately just kind of has left me feeling a bit more reactive than proactive. \nSo I actually am a business owner\, as well as my podcasting endeavors here\, and so one of the things that I am looking forward to just doubling down on going forward into 2026 is holding Mondays specifically as a strategy day of\, it’s actually very similar to yours\, of deeper work\, longer range planning\, and really moving the needle on some bigger initiatives\, rather than just kind of trying to keep the boat afloat. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You guys\, we did not plan that\, to have such similar – but well\, let’s get [00:15:00] into a reflection for all of the listeners. So\, here it is. Are you ready? \nCORAL OWEN: Ready. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All you have to do is jot down. So grab paper and pen\, or get out your keyboard or your tablet. Jot down one thing to stop\, one thing to keep\, and one thing to start in the new year. \nI bet you didn’t know we were going to do that. We were going to go for – \nCORAL OWEN: Coming in from left field. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, right. One thing to stop\, one thing to keep and one thing to start in the new year. \nCORAL OWEN: Simple\, but so impactful. Awesome. \nThanks Jessica\, so much\, for the great conversation\, the awesome practices and stops and starts that you shared today. It was really fun talking through all of that\, and we look forward to hearing from you all\, as you’re working through your own reflections on 2025 and going into the new year with some fresh perspective and practices. \nAnd so that is all for this [00:16:00] episode. Thank you so much for joining us\, and we will be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/end-of-the-year-reflection/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251218T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251218T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251218T110056Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251218T153815Z
UID:10001713-1766037600-1766077200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Leading Through Uncertainty: Navigating Ambiguity as an Adaptive Practice
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODM2NTQ5MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgzNjU0OTEtbGVhZGluZy10aHJvdWdoLXVuY2VydGFpbnR5LW5hdmlnYXRpbmctYW1iaWd1aXR5LWFzLWFuLWFkYXB0aXZlLXByYWN0aWNlLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgzNjU0OTElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 50) \nLeading in uncertainty is not about having all the answers; it’s about how you show up when you don’t.  \nIn this episode\, explore two simple practices that help you anchor in what matters and keep moving\, even when the path ahead is anything but clear. \nAmbiguity is not just a strategy or org‑chart issue; it is a human constant in modern work. In this conversation\, Jessica and Coral reframe uncertainty as an adaptive practice rather than a problem to “fix fast\,” especially for leaders who feel pressure to hold it all together. \nYou’ll learn two grounded tools: a Values‑Based Decision Filter to choose direction when information is incomplete\, and The Next Small Step to move the work one inch forward without needing the full plan. \nTogether\, they offer “handrails\, not heroics” for navigating uncertainty with steadiness\, honesty\, and care for yourself and your team. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, and welcome back to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: Hey everybody. I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Today we’re taking on a topic that shows up everywhere this time of year\, and I would argue always\, in organizations\, in teams\, and in our personal lives. And that’s the experience of not knowing\, not having all the answers\, not being sure what’s next. In other words\, ambiguity. \nCORAL OWEN: Yep. And the truth is ambiguity. It isn’t just a workplace issue\, right\, Jess? It’s not a leadership issue either. It’s a human issue\, and anytime something is changing\, whether it’s a strategy\, a role\, a habit\, a direction\, there is this window of time where you don’t\, and we don’t have the full picture yet. And that gap\, it can feel really uncomfortable. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it really can. And I think a lot of times\, leaders especially [00:01:00] feel responsible for holding it together during those moments\, even when they are just as affected by the uncertainty as everyone else. \nCORAL OWEN: That is so true\, and this is why we wanted to talk about ambiguity from a different angle today\, not just as something to push through or fix as fast as possible\, even though that’s probably what we would most like to do. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: But rather is something that we can learn to navigate more intentionally\, and something that we can practice in grounded and very human ways. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So to help us get into this conversation\, you brought two practices to explore\, and I’m really curious: not why these specific practices\, but why bring practices at all into a conversation about ambiguity. \nCORAL OWEN:Yeah\, that’s a really good question\, Jess. So\, ambiguity\, it feels big and fuzzy and when things feel that way\, people tend to either freeze or overwork like kind of at the extremes. \nSo these practices and practices period\, it helps us create a bit [00:02:00] more structure where there might not be a whole lot of structure in the moment. \nAnd it’s not to control the uncertainty\, but it gives us a way and a framework within which to engage and show up within it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So it’s kind of like a way to stay steady. When the situation isn’t steady at all\, when it’s swirling all around us. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. It’s a way to just kind of anchor us and give us\, you know\, a guidepost by which to navigate. And the two practices that we’re going to be going through today\, it’s the values-based decision filter and the next small step. They’re actually not related to resolving ambiguity\, although probably. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Now I’m really confused! \nCORAL OWEN: I know our listeners are probably like\, “Wait\, what? How is this even helpful?” \nBut\, you know\, hang in there with us. So these are all about helping you move through it without losing your grounding. One helps orient you\, and the other helps you move in the direction of resolution. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so it’s more like handrails than solutions. Or like walking sticks.[00:03:00]\nCORAL OWEN: Jess. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Stop me now before I keep going. \nCORAL OWEN: Okay. We’re just gonna roll with it. So yes\, they’re like simple things that you could hold onto\, and the path ahead isn’t fully visible and gives you stability. How’d you like that? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love it. I love a good walking stick too\, by the way. So before we get into the practices\, let’s talk about why ambiguity is so hard in the first place. Because it’s not just a leadership challenge\, right? It’s not only for leaders and people in leadership positions. It’s a human challenge. \nCORAL OWEN: Definitely\, and ambiguity taps into our most fundamental wiring. As humans\, we all want patterns. We want predictability. Because it’s safety\, right? It’s security and it’s knowing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: We want to put things in boxes neatly with a bow\, yep. \nCORAL OWEN: And life is anything but\, and so we want to know what’s expected of us. It gives us a way to understand where things are headed and what’s going on. And so when information is incomplete\, or paradigms [00:04:00] are shifting\, oftentimes we’ll feel anxious and patient and thrown off. \nAnd it’s not just our team. It’s oftentimes the leaders that are rolling through this while also trying to give some assurance in these times. So\, it’s a tough space to be in for a lot of people. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, well\, and then on top of that\, leaders often feel pressure to have answers for others when they don’t have the answers for themselves\, yet they can’t even give those answers\, so that’s gotta feel really tough. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I know that both of us have been in leadership roles. I’ve certainly felt this way in the past\, when guiding different organizations and teams\, and it is\, I truly believe\, one of the most difficult aspects of leadership\, is leading through these times of change or ambiguity. \nYou’re thinking\, “Ah\, I should know more\, I should be further along\, I should have this guidance.” But we’re rolling through something called Adaptive Leadership Practices today\, and it’s not having everything figured out. It’s about helping to help everyone else stay steady in the discomfort and move [00:05:00] through uncertainty together. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s talk more about that. This idea of ambiguity as something we practice\, not something we magically become comfortable with. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. Adaptive leadership means learning to make progress\, even when information is incomplete. Like we were saying earlier\, a lot of people tend to either kind of freeze or rush\, and maybe it’s not in the most productive direction. \nAnd so\, this is all about moving in small intentional ways\, making sure that we’re making steady progress\, not getting ahead of our skis\, and letting clarity emerge through action and not before it. \nAlso\, it’s relational. It means leaders aren’t navigating ambiguity alone. You know\, teams make sense of this change together. The conversations are creating clarity collaboratively\, and sometimes the best thing a leader can say\, and sometimes it’s hard to do this\, but something along the lines of\, “Here’s what we know today\, and here’s what we’re still figuring out.’ \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that kind of [00:06:00] honesty builds trust\, instead of pretending everything is sorted when it isn’t. I can think of one amazing example\, and I’ve had the opportunity to tell him several times\, you know\, we were going through some pretty turbulent times for a while\, as we completely shifted the way we operated as an organization. \nAnd by we\, I’m not talking about OneOp\, I’m talking about the other organization that I belong to. But\, that is a skill. It’s a skill to be able to do that. Something that we can practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And I think\, you know\, just what you noted there\, Jess\, you know\, a skill is something that can be cultivated and practiced. It’s not something that everybody’s inherently good at. Just like\, “Oh yes\, I’m wonderful at change.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: So yeah\, that’s what we’re hoping to help you all with today. \nAlright\, let’s go ahead\, and that’s a great segue into our first practice\, which is the Values Based Decision Filter. Sounds pretty official\, but it’s very approachable. So\, essentially when things are feeling uncertain\, we often wait for more information\, like we already [00:07:00] talked about before: making a decision. \nBecause with more information we feel like we can make a more correct choice. But sometimes what we need is actually a way to choose the next direction based on our values\, and not on complete clarity. \nSo here’s how this value-based decision filter works. First off\, you’re going to name the value that matters most in this season. Not all your values\, just one. “What’s the most clear guiding value here?” It might be integrity\, transparency\, learning\, stability\, compassion\, courage. There’s a whole number of them that you can choose from. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I just wanted to\, we did this in another episode and I just want to clarify the ‘season’ comment. What do we mean by ‘season\,’ really quick? We’re not necessarily talking about the winter season\, which we happen to be recording right now in December. But\, yeah\, what do we mean by season? \nCORAL OWEN: Thanks Jess. So in case y’all missed that mini conversation within an episode\, one or two back perhaps\, by season\, simply referring [00:08:00] to this chapter that we’re most recently moving through. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And so the first step then is just naming the value that matters most in this season\, which is\, that is what you decide. You decide what the season is\, and you decide what that one value is most important to you right now. \nCORAL OWEN: So from there\, step two\, you’re going to ask which option\, even if it’s small or imperfect\, aligns most with this value. And the whole idea is that this filter\, it gives you a way to move forward without having to wait for all of the answers to be provided\, or to come into the light. And so this value becomes your compass by which you can make small\, incremental moves forward. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I love how grounded that feels. You’re not forcing certainty\, you’re just choosing direction based on what matters most right now. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. So values can help you find and they can give structure when the circumstances may not lend themselves to such. \nAlrighty. So part two is the next small [00:09:00] step. So when ambiguity feels overwhelming\, and it can certainly happen from time to time\, usually it’s because we’re trying to solve the whole situation at once. So instead of trying to tackle the whole elephant\, in one bite\, as my father might say\, you instead want to pause and ask\, “What is the next small step I can take that moves us one inch forward?” \nJust one step. Just one inch. Something that you can do in the next day or the week and something that doesn’t necessarily require full clarity. \nAlright\, so just some examples\, because that could feel a little bit nebulous maybe. Maybe it’s setting up a meeting to gather perspectives. Maybe it’s clarifying one decision that can be made now. You might take a crack at drafting their first version of something. \nA couple other thoughts: Maybe it’s testing one small piece of a larger idea\, like a\, you know\, kind of a mini pilot test. You might put a temporary structure into place\, and so sometimes\, these might be ‘no thank you’ bytes of like\, “Ooh\, we tried [00:10:00] that\, it didn’t work.” \nBut\, you know\, often clarity emerges and we can derive that from action. Or just doing a little bit of a/b testing\, rather than just sitting still. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that takes so much pressure off. You don’t have to solve everything. That was also me just telling myself that right now you don’t have to solve everything\, just move the work forward in a way that’s honest and manageable. \nAnd\, you know\, sometimes that’s actually just reaching out to a person to check in on\, like\, how their leg of the project is going. Sometimes it is setting up a meeting and doing something a little bit bigger than that. \nBut I just wanted to also mention that it could be super small\, like just reaching out to someone. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, just to keep that touch point and that momentum alive\, nurturing it. So yeah\, ambiguity\, it becomes much more tolerable when we break it into smaller adaptive steps. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So as we wrap up today\, maybe take a moment to reflect on an area of your life or your leadership where things feel a little unclear: not to [00:11:00] fix it\, just to notice it. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. Ambiguity\, it’s not something that we will unfortunately ever eliminate. But it is something that we can learn to navigate with more steadiness and intention\, and hopefully these two practices of anchoring your decisions and your values and taking the next small step can help you stay grounded while still making progress. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I feel like if we had a title for this episode that was\, “Solving Uncertainty\,” we’d probably get a lot of listeners\, but then they would be disappointed that we were just trying to help them move through! \nAnyway\, thanks so much for joining us for this conversation on navigating ambiguity as an adaptive practice. \nIf this episode resonated with you\, feel free to share it with someone who might be navigating their own season of uncertainty. \nCORAL OWEN: We will be back soon with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:12:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/leading-through-uncertainty/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251211T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251211T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251211T110008Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251210T221940Z
UID:10001712-1765432800-1765472400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Letting Go to Move Forward: Creating Space for Your Next Self
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODI5OTQ0NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgyOTk0NDUtbGV0dGluZy1nby10by1tb3ZlLWZvcndhcmQtY3JlYXRpbmctc3BhY2UtZm9yLXlvdXItbmV4dC1zZWxmLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgyOTk0NDUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 49) \nFeeling between versions of yourself – no longer who you were\, not yet who you’re becoming?  \nIn this episode\, learn two simple practices to release what no longer fits and take aligned\, micro‑actions that move you forward with clarity and steadiness.  \nProfessionals who navigate this “liminal” space well build resilience and better decisions during change. \nIdentity shifts don’t happen on a calendar – they unfold in the in‑between\, where the old no longer fits and the new isn’t solid yet. \nThis conversation introduces two grounded practices: Subtract Before You Add (making space by letting go of one expectation\, role\, or internal rule) and The Values Check‑In (choosing one value for this season and taking a 2–5 minute micro‑action that lives it). \nThese approaches reflect evidence‑aligned ideas that subtracting creates clarity and capacity\, and that values‑based actions engage motivation and sustain change – especially during transitions at work and in life. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Today we’re digging into something a lot of us feel this time of year\, even if we don’t always have the language for it. The experience of being in between versions of ourselves\, that stretch of time where the old ways of doing things don’t quite fit anymore\, but the new ways haven’t fully settled in yet. \nCORAL OWEN: Yep. And that “in between it” can feel really strange\, uncomfortable. Even can feel a little bit disorienting. And so often we’re really quick to jump into new habits and new roles without acknowledging that transitions have their own emotional terrain and strain\, and identity work. \nIt also does not happen instantaneously\, and so it doesn’t happen\, you know\, like a light switch. Once the calendar flips to January\, it’s like\, okay\, here we are\, the whole new year\, new me. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yep. \nCORAL OWEN: Doesn’t really happen that way. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. I mean [00:01:00] there is an element of\, I’ve heard some good arguments for the element of ‘fake it till you make it\,’ but you don’t just flip a switch and suddenly you’re a different person. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, for sure. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So before we go any further\, then\, let’s ground this in a simple definition. When we talk about identity shifts\, we mean the gradual process of moving from who we’ve been: our habits\, roles\, expectations\, into who we’re becoming. And there’s always a period of transition where both feel a little bit unclear. Isn’t that referred to as liminal space? \nCORAL OWEN: Yes. Exactly. We’ve actually done a couple of great episodes on liminal space. Shameless flag! \nExactly though\, Jessica\, it’s not about reinventing yourself in some dramatic way. It’s kind of like shedding skin\, right? And it’s about recognizing that you are changing\, like in the process of becoming\, and giving yourself permission to learn and experiment and adjust without needing everything straight away to feel polished and [00:02:00] certain. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I noticed that you brought two practices today. Not a long list\, not a whole framework or anything like that\, just two practices. Why these two specifically? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so identity transitions\, they already ask a lot from us energetically. You know\, brain space\, all that. So we don’t need more complexity. What we need are some grounded entry points that help us understand what is shifting and what is supporting us as we move through this transition. \nSo today we’ve got two practices. The first one is called\, ‘subtract before you add.’ And I’m really excited about this one\, because I don’t think it gets quite as much airtime\, like this process of becoming. \nAnd then the second one is called the\, ‘values check-in.’ And they are intended – you don’t have to use them together\, but they can work together really seamlessly to create a really smooth\, grounded space for you to begin your transition. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that. Keeping it simple but meaningful. \nCORAL OWEN: Yep. [00:03:00] And one helps you\, the first one\, I think I gave a little maybe extra love to the\, “Subtract before you add.” \nThis one will help you release what doesn’t fit or what doesn’t feel in alignment anymore. And the other one anchors you into what matters most right now. And so together\, they give you clarity without forcing you to have the whole picture figured out. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s get into the practices then. Can you get us started Coral? \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So first\, let’s start with the subtract before you add. So a lot of people think identity change. When we think about these things\, the instinct is to start stacking new habits straight away\, or expectations on top of what is already a full life. \nAnd you know. We’ve got plenty of hats that we’re already wearing. But a lot of times this identity work usually begins most effectively by letting go initially\, not by adding more straight to the plate. \nSo here’s the reflection at some point. Whether it’s this week that you’re making these changes\, or when you’re feeling\, you know\, [00:04:00] ready to start making these shifts\, ask yourself \, “What expectation\, roles\, or stories am I hearing that don’t fit who I am becoming?” Whether this is like a personal shift or a life shift. \nSo just some offhand examples may be\, you know\, feeling like the person who always says yes to things. Maybe you feel responsible for smoothing things over all the time. And these are not bad things\, right? But these are maybe things that maybe are not serving you in this next space that you’re moving into. \nA couple of other things that maybe\, a standard of productivity\, or perhaps a different version of yourself from a different season of life that is not going to be in alignment for where you’re headed. And so we start with that. \nAnd then from there\, you’re going to ask yourself\, “What is one thing that I could set down for this season?” \nSo it’s not something that you have to say adieu to forever\, but just one thing that you are sticking a pin in: one pressure\, one role\, one internal rule that may not be in [00:05:00] alignment for where you’re headed. That’s it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Coral that feels really doable. And I imagine even naming just one thing could create a surprising amount of space. \nCORAL OWEN: That is one hundred percent it. So we have to\, with just these full fledged identities that we’re carrying\, the narrative stories\, identities\, habits that go along with who we have been\, we have to create space and make room for something. \nSo by subtracting a little bit\, setting something down\, we are holding space and creating\, you know\, kind of a little spot for\, those new habits\, identity\, awarenesses and things to take shape and take root. \nAll right\, so that is part one\, creating space. We’re just sticking a pin in some things to hold space for the next bit of what is to come. The second practice that we’ve got for y’all today is called the ‘values check-in.’ \nSo when we’re in these transitional identity spaces\, sometimes [00:06:00] things can just feel a little bit blurry\, but values provide the clarity that we need even when the direction is still forming. \nSo here’s how this works. You want to choose one value that feels most important in this season\, not your top five for life\, just the one that is going to\, you know\, be most in alignment for right now. Maybe it’s stability\, courage\, health\, connection\, integrity\, curiosity\, you decide. And then we’re going to ask ourselves\, “How would I know I’m living with this value?” What does it look like in small concrete behaviors? \nNot big sweeping goals\, just indicators. You know\, things like ending your workday on time\, taking one small step towards something you care about. Maybe it’s checking in with someone you want to stay connected to. Maybe it’s honoring your bandwidth and just saying no to something\, that you perhaps would’ve originally said yes to. \nAnd then finally\, “What is one micro action that I [00:07:00] can take this week that aligns with that value?” Two to five minutes\, or one simple statement – it doesn’t have to be anything huge. \nAnd so really\, coming down to the crux of this\, everything in a nutshell\, identity grows through consistent\, aligned actions. Not\, like\, stepping into the brand new identity one day. It’s this gradual process of becoming\, and so there’s a lot of thoughts around setting habits to step into identity. \nAnd so that’s where this practice is rooted. Just setting those small\, intentional actions and habits in our day so that we are stepwise walking our way into that next version of ourselves that we want to become. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: This reminds me a lot of\, there was a book series I was reading\, it was just a fiction series\, and I remember the character in that was like\, “I’m gonna be known as girl who does this\, or the girl with a really nice sports car\,” whatever it was like\, and she was really confused about her identity\, right? \nThat [00:08:00] was this kind of surface level. She was wanting to project this out there\, and she wasn’t connecting back to like what the actual values were. Which – obviously it was a fiction book\, it was not meant to be super deep or anything – but it reminds me of that\, and these activities are a helpful way to move forward without forcing clarity. \nYou know\, you might not know everything about who you’re becoming yet\, but you can live your values today. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. Values can guide in that correct trajectory\, even when certainty or that solidified identity hasn’t fully arrived to us yet. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I just want to ask a question for some clarity. You’ve said in both of these activities you were talking about\, “in this season.” What do you mean by that? Is it that that season could just be right now\, just giving yourself the permission that it doesn’t have to be forever? \nOr are you talking about the new year? What do you mean when you say\, “Decide what’s right in this season?” \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. Thanks for [00:09:00] picking up on that\, Jess. That’s a phraseology that I actually use for myself quite often. But just to unpack that\, in case it was a little confusing\, you know\, we are always\, hopefully\, growing and iterating on what that next best version of ourselves is. \nWe’re constantly learning\, and I know the people in our Practicing Connection community\, we’re constantly learning new things\, and maybe realizing new things or taking on new roles\, whether it’s personal or at work. \nAnd so with that comes about changes in just who we are fundamentally. I mean\, we’re picking up new skill sets or new identities or new habits. And so\, you know\, maybe we’ve been in a particular role or wearing a particular hat for some time\, and as we are iterating in our self-identity and how we are walking through the world\, I think that viewing it as different seasons of life and who we are in different phases of our entire lifespan can be a really helpful framework to [00:10:00] step from season to season to season. \nAnd with that\, kind of like how a tree has different sets of leaves that it has throughout the year (unless you’re here in Florida!)\, you know\, who we are can look different. It’s beautiful throughout. But sometimes we need to shed those leaves in the fall and kind of have that regrowth and reboot. \nAnd that’s how I see this set of practices coming together\, that we can kind of shed some leaves so that we’re growing new ones that are going to serve us in that next season. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that you used the metaphor of a tree\, and I’m sure that\, I mean\, it’s used all the time in this kind of a context. This is all reminding me of Lev Vygotsky’s Theory of Psychological Development\, and the emphasis on development as a continuing process of transformation. \nAnd that’s exactly what you’re talking about. That’s what these practices help you do. \nSo\, as we wrap up today\, maybe take a moment\, you know\, wherever you are\, to pause and acknowledge where you were at in your own in-between season. You don’t [00:11:00] have to have it all sorted out or anything. Just notice what’s shifting. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And just like we were talking about\, this doesn’t happen in one day\, and so this identity work does not need to be rushed. The in-between space\, this is where so much learning and clarity happens and becomes and takes shape for us. \nAnd these two practices of subtracting what no longer fits\, and then grounding ourselves in values that align for where we’re headed\, can really help us navigate the space with more steadiness and tension and just more grace. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks so much for joining us for this conversation on navigating identity shifts in the in-between. If this resonated with you\, feel free to share it with someone who might be in their own season of becoming. \nCORAL OWEN: We will be back next week with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[00:12:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/letting-go-to-move-forwards/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251205T073000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251205T080000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251205T152152Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260112T155242Z
UID:10001640-1764919800-1764921600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Foundations of Trust & Collaboration Podcast Bundle
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Bundle” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]This learning bundle consists of six podcast episodes\, each focused on a core aspect of building trust and connection within teams. The series is designed for professionals seeking practical\, research-based strategies to improve teamwork\, communication\, and group facilitation. Each episode introduces a key concept\, shares examples\, and guides listeners through actionable practices. \nTopics Covered:\n \n\nWelcoming Practices: How to intentionally create a more welcoming environment in teams and groups\, including strategies for opening up to new possibilities and perspectives. \nSincerity: Exploring the role of sincerity in trust-building\, with reflective exercises to align words and intentions and foster authentic communication.\nReliability and Clear Communication: Understanding the importance of clear requests\, direct communication\, and accountability in collaborative work.\nCompetence and Self-Assessment: Techniques for assessing and communicating personal and team capabilities\, recognizing strengths and limits\, and seeking support when needed.\nCare and Compassion: The foundational role of care in trust\, with practices for showing care\, listening to concerns\, and building meaningful relationships.\nActive Listening and Deep Respect: Facilitating group processes for all group members\, practicing active listening\, and cultivating psychological safety.\n\nLearning Objectives: \n\nDescribe the four distinctions of trust – sincerity\, reliability\, competence\, care -and their role in team/group development.\nDemonstrate practices for welcoming and including all collaborators (team/group members) to foster connection and collaboration.\nDemonstrate active listening and deep respect to enhance psychological safety within groups/teams.\nCommunicate needs and expectations clearly to support reliability and accountability in collaborative work.\nReflect on personal and team capabilities to identify strengths\, limits\, and opportunities for support.\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” top_padding=”20″ text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Podcast Speakers” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bottom_padding=”20″ left_padding_desktop=”5″ text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][image_with_animation image_url=”212896″ image_size=”custom” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default” custom_image_size=”thumb”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Jessica Beckendorf” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left” use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_column_text]\n\n\nUniversity of Wisconsin-Madison Extension \n\n\n\n\nJessica is the Principal Investigator for OneOp’s Building Communities team\, supporting military families through promoting collaborative leadership and systems thinking. Co-host of Practicing Connection\, Jessica holds a BA in Urban and Regional Studies from UW-Green Bay and an Master of Arts in Communication and Leadership Studies from Gonzaga University\, and is dedicated to fostering resourceful\, well-connected communities. \n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bottom_padding=”20″ left_padding_desktop=”5″ text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][image_with_animation image_url=”147464″ image_size=”custom” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default” custom_image_size=”thumb”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Coral Owen” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left” use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_column_text]Coral Owen holds a Master of Science in Health Education & Behavior from the University of Florida and combines strategic thinking with real-world adaptability. As a former military spouse\, she brings empathy and resilience to her work supporting diverse communities. Her background in adult education and experience in military-connected environments strengthen her ability to design meaningful programs and foster collaboration. Coral is dedicated to empowering others through education\, wellness\, and purposeful leadership.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bottom_padding=”20″ left_padding_desktop=”5″ text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][image_with_animation image_url=”212460″ image_size=”custom” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default” custom_image_size=”thumb”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Bob Bertsch” font_container=”tag:h3|text_align:left” use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_column_text]\n\n\nNorth Dakota State University \n\n\n\n\nBob Bertsch is the OneOp National Project Leader. Bertsch\, an Extension Specialist at North Dakota State University\, has been an integral part of OneOp since 2011. He oversees strategic initiatives to enhance OneOp’s ability to support military family service providers and strengthen the Military Family Readiness System. \n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Continuing Education (CE) Credit” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”jumbo” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” el_class=”Continuing Education Survey” button_id=”Continuing Education Survey” text=”Continuing Education Survey” url=”https://auburn.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0kMbXpXnu9oOXZk”][vc_column_text]\n\n\n\nCertified in Family and Consumer Sciences (CFCS): This webinar has been approved for 1.0 continuing education (CE) credit from the American Association for Family and Consumer Sciences (AAFCS). Note: Eligibility for CE credit will close December 4th\, 2027.\nBoard Certified Case Managers: This webinar has been approved for 1.0 continuing education (CE) clock hour from the Commission for Case Manager Certification (CCMC). Note: Eligibility for CE credit will close December 4th\, 2026.\nCertified Family Life Educators (CFLE): This webinar has been approved for 1.0 continuing education (CE) credit from the National Council on Family Relations (NCFR). Note: Eligibility for CE credit will close December 4th\, 2028.\nHuman Resource Professionals: This webinar has been approved for 1.0 continuing education (CE) credit from the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). Note: Eligibility for CE credit will close July 31\, 2026.\nSocial Workers\, Licensed Professional Counselors\, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists: This webinar has been approved for 1.0 continuing education (CE) credit from the University of Texas at Austin School of Social Work. Check with your state licensing agency for reciprocity and/or credit approval if licensed for other professions or in one of the following states: CO\, FL\, HI\, IA\, KS\, KY\, MI\, NY\, ND\, OH\, OK. Note: Eligibility for CE credit will close December 4th\, 2027.\nOneOp Certificates of Attendance are available for those interested in additional documentation of professional development activities.\n\n\nIf the survey button above does not appear\, please access the continuing education survey here: https://auburn.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0kMbXpXnu9oOXZk. If you have any questions\, contact ce@oneop.org. \n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/foundations-podcast-bundle/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/qtq80-SG5xif.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251204T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251204T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251204T110028Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251203T223620Z
UID:10001710-1764828000-1764867600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:7 Small Practices for Better Conversations
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODI1OTU1NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgyNTk1NTUtNy1zbWFsbC1wcmFjdGljZXMtZm9yLWJldHRlci1jb252ZXJzYXRpb25zLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgyNTk1NTUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 48) \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica explore empathetic listening: what it is\, why it matters\, and how a few simple shifts in how you listen can deepen your relationships and improve how you work with others. \nThis practicast explores empathetic listening as a practical communication skill. We compare empathetic listening with familiar active listening techniques\, share personal experiences of when basic reflection felt flat or even patronizing\, and then walk through a concrete\, seven-step process you can try in everyday conversations. \nDrawing on communication research and Jessica’s own practice\, the episode highlights how noticing emotions\, staying present\, and checking your understanding can reduce misunderstandings and support stronger\, more collaborative relationships at work and at home. \nLinks\n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Actively listening with empathy can help us build emotionally supportive environments\, nurture authentic relationships\, and enhance collaboration and teamwork. \nHey everyone\, welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection practicast. I’m Coral. Today we’re sharing the practice of empathetic listening\, which is an approach that builds deeper connections by bringing empathy to our conversations. My co-host\, Jessica\, is going to walk us through a small collection of practices here in a bit. \nFirst\, let’s talk about what makes empathetic listening unique. So\, Jess\, over the years\, we’ve come across a lot of different listening practices. What makes empathetic listening stand out from other ones? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’m gonna answer that by talking about a different way of listening: active listening\, which is I think what we hear about the most. That’s the skill that most people are familiar with. Active listening means doing the work to really listen to someone’s words and checking with them that you understood the words often by paraphrasing or summarizing what they’ve just said.[00:01:00]\nBut for me\, active listening sometimes felt a little bit limited. I’ve been on the receiving end\, and I think most of us have\, and sometimes it actually even felt a little bit patronizing. Like the person was just repeating my words\, but not really connecting to me or connecting to how I felt. I sometimes didn’t actually even feel heard. \nSo that’s actually what first drew me to the idea of empathetic listening when I first learned about it. If active listening is about repeating content and understanding the words\, empathetic listening is about reflecting the feelings underneath those words. So really seeking to understand someone’s inner world. \nFor example\, active listening often sounds like\, “What I hear you saying is…\,” and then there’s a bit of a rephrasing of the person’s words. And empathetic listening could begin with\, “It sounds like that was frustrating\,” or\, “You sound really excited about that.” \n[00:02:00] So\, one way I’ve seen it framed is that empathetic listening asks us to listen with our heart and mind\, not just our ears and eyes. It’s a step beyond listening to a reply. Empathetic listening really is about listening to truly understand. \nAnd I really want to make a note here that I’m not saying that active listening is not good\, and that empathetic listening is always superior. I’ve really come to actually appreciate active listening as a kind of almost beginner skill that leads toward these deeper levels of listening. So\, you know\, even if it’s basic\, it shows you’re committed to hearing someone. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, that really rings true for me too. Like sometimes just restating the words\, it doesn’t quite go far enough. Especially if we’re dealing with really strong feelings. And I think the next question is\, what exactly is empathy? We talk about it a lot\, but let’s just maybe get a common ground understanding of what that actually means. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that’s a really good question. I’ve seen empathy [00:03:00] described as a skill\, a choice\, and even a quality. But the good news is that anyone can show and practice empathy. So it doesn’t have to be a quality that you naturally possess or anything like that\, but for some people it might come a little bit more naturally to exhibit empathy. \nAnd for others it might take just a little bit more intention. Whether you’re somebody where it feels like it comes a little bit more naturally\, or whether it takes a little more intention and attention\, that’s perfectly fine. \nIn communication research\, empathy is usually broken into two types: Affective empathy\, which is the feelings that we experience in response to another person’s emotions\, and Cognitive empathy\, which is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotions. \nAnd empathy is really powerful. Research shows that groups who practice empathy are more supportive\, they communicate better\, and they’re able to work through challenges more effectively. \nAnd interestingly\, empathy is also contagious. [00:04:00] If it’s encouraged in a group or if it’s displayed in a group\, more of the others on the team will display it. I actually didn’t know this\, which is kind of funny because I teach on emotional intelligence\, I really only learned about this when preparing for this episode. \nBut it really does make sense because in emotional intelligence\, we talk about emotional resonance and how our emotions can catch on with those around us. So if we’re all showing a little empathy\, it makes sense that it would grow. \nCORAL OWEN: I didn’t know that either\, so that’s really fascinating. But it really does make sense. And\, okay\, so my next question is\, what are the benefits if we put empathetic listening into practice? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. That’s a great question because empathetic listening is about demonstrating a real willingness to understand. One of the biggest benefits is that it helps us bridge misunderstandings and work through conflicts. It also deepens relationships. \nThink about the [00:05:00] experience of someone really getting you. They check in to confirm if they’re understanding your feelings\, not just your words. If someone was doing that\, if someone was checking in to confirm if they’re understanding the emotion behind the words\, wouldn’t you be more likely to open up or maybe ask about their experience as well? \nSo they’re really seeing you. You might be more likely to say\, “Well\, tell me about\, have you ever experienced this in workplaces?” \nSo let’s get down to\, you know\, what we’re really here to talk about\, right\, in workplaces. Empathetic listening creates conditions where teams can work together more smoothly and communicate openly\, because people know their perspectives are genuinely going to be considered. \nAn important part of this too is that as humans\, we often come into conversations with our own agendas or emotions. We want to be heard\, we want to offer advice\, we want to connect. And empathetic listening helps us pause those [00:06:00] impulses and just be in the conversation\, focusing fully on the other person or people\, and the connection between us. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really\, really helpful way to look at it. So now that we’ve unpacked all of that\, could you walk us through how empathetic listening actually works\, step by step? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, of course. So you could think of this as a process or a collection of many practices. Any of these could be practiced on their own or in some sort of succession. So I’ll give you kind of the order that I think they build on each other. But again\, each one of these could be practiced just on their own. \nSo start by reflecting on your patterns\, right? You might even be able to reflect on this as I’m speaking right now: notice how you usually listen. Are you eager to jump in\, share your story or offer solutions right away? Or do you find yourself getting distracted? Or tuning out until something feels [00:07:00] more personally relevant to you? \nHow you listen or how you can tap into knowing how you listen. Think about that. Then ask yourself about your needs or your fears. Is the reason you engage in the listening patterns that you engage in\, because you’re listening to fix\, connect or guide the conversation\, do you have concerns about not being heard\, or do you have concerns about being judged? And maybe that’s why you have the patterns of communication that you have. \nThe third thing is to adopt a learning mindset. This is really about remembering that everyone that you talk to is the expert in their own life\, right? \nSo when someone shares a story about themselves with you\, treat that as a gift and accept it as their true experience. Your job is not to question whether what they’re telling you is right or not. Your job is to get curious about what they’re telling you. \nOkay. Fourth thing is to practice presence. [00:08:00] And this is about paying attention in the moment by putting away devices\, gently bringing your focus back to the speaker. It is really natural. I want to be clear about this. It’s natural for our mind to wander\, but keep returning to the person that you’re in the conversation with or the people that you’re in the conversation with. \nAnd the fifth thing is listen for more than words. Notice body language. Notice energy shifts\, facial expressions or changes in tone. These give clues to the feelings that are beneath the surface\, so that you can comment\, and notice them. And then the sixth thing is to get curious\, what might be driving their words\, which values\, which concerns or experiences might be at play. \n“It sounds like you were very excited about that\,” or\, ‘Wow\, I’m really hearing that you value your family a lot.” So being able to notice those things is really powerful\, [00:09:00] and then ask questions that invite them to share more. “Can you tell me more about that?” “Wow\, it sounds like you really valued your family in that moment.” “Can you tell me more about why you did what you did?” \nYou know\, those kinds of examples really illustrate that ‘getting curious’ piece and lastly\, reflect back those feelings. So say things like\, “It sounds like that was really overwhelming. Did I get that right? Was that overwhelming for you?” \nIf they clarify\, “Actually\, I was more anxious than frustrated or overwhelmed\,” well\, that’s helpful. So be curious about that new feeling\, you know\, and have them tell you a little more about that. \nSo\, I know it was seven mini practices and we sometimes don’t do a roundup of practices because it’s a lot to take in\, but again\, any of those seven can be practiced as an individual practice. So if you just start with reflecting back feelings and trying that out\, that is enough\, right? You don’t have to do all the other things. \nOr [00:10:00] if you just start with trying to get curious about your own patterns of communication and why you react that way\, that’s enough too. You don’t have to practice any of the others. So\, I welcome you to try out one or all of these. When you practice these steps\, even just one or two at a time\, you’ll notice the quality of your conversation start to shift. \nCORAL OWEN: I love all of those\, and I love that they can be sort of an à la carte approach\, Jess. But also you can use them sort of as a framework\, and\, you know\, build that momentum\, and tend the different aspects throughout. And truly\, like even just one step\, such as checking for understanding of someone else’s feelings\, that can by itself make such a big difference. \nAnd I love what you said about treating someone’s story as a gift. That’s such a nice idea and practice too. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I just wanna be clear too\, as you practice\, just like with all of the practices that we give on this podcast\, these steps become more natural and can [00:11:00] even start to happen in the space of a few seconds\, some of them. \nSo even if it feels strange at first to check in about someone’s emotions\, most people really appreciate the effort and the care. \nCORAL OWEN: I would say that rings true in my experience. So thanks Jess. Always appreciate the practices that you bring. And this one\, as always\, was wonderful. Thanks so much for walking us through empathetic listening. \nAnd for everyone listening\, give even one of these ideas a try in your next conversation and see what happens. \nAnd if you like\, share your experience with us in the Practicing Connection LinkedIn group\, where we explore skills that help us build healthier teams and communities. \nWe’ll be back next week with another wonderful episode and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/7-small-practices-for-better-converations/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251128T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251128T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251127T110057Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251125T145624Z
UID:10001704-1764316800-1764349200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Finding Gratitude in Tough Moments
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODIzMzAyNiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgyMzMwMjYtMy1zaW1wbGUtd2F5cy10by1maW5kLWdyYXRpdHVkZS1pbi10b3VnaC1tb21lbnRzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgyMzMwMjYlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 48) \nEver find yourself juggling tough projects or caring for others while your own energy dips? \nIn this episode\, discover three practical gratitude habits you can use to find steadiness and clarity – no matter what your day brings. \nThis week on Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral move past “feel-good” gratitude to share three real-world practices for professionals dealing with high stress\, teamwork struggles\, or just a long task list. \nWhether you lead teams\, support families\, or show up for your community\, these simple daily habits help you spot what’s sustaining you\, even when appreciation feels out of reach. \nWith flexible options for busy days and tough moods\, you’ll learn how these gentle gratitudes can boost resilience\, spark hope\, and steady you through the hardest times at work and beyond. \nLinks\n\nPracticing Connection episode: “Fuel your Day with Savoring: The ‘Catching Joy’ Practice”\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And today we’re talking about gratitude\, not as a buzzword or a holiday theme\, but as a real practice. One that can be complicated when life is stressful or uncertain. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really good point\, Jessica. Gratitude. I feel like it’s often talked about like it should come so easily\, in those hard moments though. And I just think it’s important to acknowledge that a lot of people are navigating some really difficult spaces right now. Gratitude can feel really far away and when we’re struggling\, like just being told\, “Oh\, just\, just be grateful.” It can sound very – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: – A daily gratitude practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh yeah. Just start\, start in your journal. Although I’m sure it always comes from a well-intentioned space\, it can feel really dismissive. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, yeah. Exactly. So before we go any further\, let’s ground this in a simple definition: [00:01:00] gratitude is the practice of recognizing and appreciating what helps us. What sustains us even when things aren’t easy. \nCORAL OWEN: Precisely\, and again\, this is not about pretending everything is sunshine\, rainbows\, and roses all the time. It’s making room to notice what’s still good\, what’s steady\, and what’s life giving alongside what is also so difficult. It’s kind of like both gratitude and struggle can coexist. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I noticed that you brought three different gratitude practices today in our notes\, instead of just one. Why three? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so this is the party pack of practices\, today. But\, you know\, in all seriousness\, there is no one size fits all way to practice gratitude. Some days we just have the bandwidth for reflection. Other days we’re just trying to make it through. So instead of offering just one structured approach\, we figured sharing three practices that meet y’all\, our listeners\, wherever you are. \nWhether it’s a quick [00:02:00] pause\, a simple reflection\, or a way to study yourself when things feel a little bit overwhelming\, you can just pick and choose what is serving you in the moment that you’re at. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that is such a great way to frame it\, like giving people options instead of an expectation\, and that I think that you and I have talked about this\, I have trouble with gratitude practice. And I think that’s been hard ’cause it feels like sometimes it feels like a task. \nSometimes it feels like\, when you’re given the advice to start a daily gratitude practice\, I don’t know\, it just feels like an expectation\, somehow. \nCORAL OWEN: Or like another thing on your to-do list. And I think really\, you know\, what the hope is here with the practices that we’re sharing today\, Jess\, is not that this – it should not feel contrived or forced. Just finding something\, just something in whatever practice you may opt to try\, that feels a little bit more fluid and a little bit more aligned with where you’re at. \nAnd so our three practices\, we’ve got the noticing practice\, the one line journal and the [00:03:00] grounding gratitude check-in for you. And I’m excited to unpack all three of these. They build from small moments of awareness into a deeper sense of presence. And you can use them individually\, or you can rotate through them depending on what you need that day. \nWe’re just all about giving y’all tools that you can leverage\, and pick from your toolkit if you will. Whatever meets you in the moment. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s get started with these practices. Coral\, can you share the first one with us? \nCORAL OWEN: The noticing practice: so this one is\, I think\, the most simplistic and it’s usually where I start\, and recommend starting when gratitude feels just a little out of reach. And so at some point in your day\, all you need to do is pause for a moment and look for one\, it can be even a neutral thing or a pleasant thing happening right now. \nMaybe your coffee tastes good. That was mine this morning. Maybe the sun feels warm or\, you know\, just kind of nice and sunshiny through the window. Maybe the song on the radio is hitting just right and has a good vibe. You don’t have to force a feeling. It definitely does not need [00:04:00] to be profound. \nJust the act of noticing what’s around you is enough. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And you know\, this is really similar to an episode we did recently on savoring. And so if you wanna go deeper with this one\, I recommend finding that episode on savoring. We’ll put the link in our show notes. I think that this is a really refreshing take also on gratitude\, right? It’s not about chasing a sense of gratitude\, but it’s about being open to what’s already there. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and the hope is over time\, noticing will help shift your focus from what’s missing to rather include what’s present around you and the things that are quietly supporting you. Even if they’re small and seemingly very minute. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. I love this practice. Let’s move on to the next one\, the one line journal. So tell us a little bit about this one. \nCORAL OWEN: So the second practice is called the One Line Journal\, as you already noted. And again\, it’s very short and approachable\, we [00:05:00] hope\, and it’s just one sentence a day. You can start with the phrase\, “Today I noticed\,” or\, “Today I appreciated.” \nA couple examples: “I noticed how calm it felt driving home without traffic\,” or\, “I appreciate that my neighbor waved when I walked by.” And again\, these don’t need to be big\, monumental things. They can be just these small moments that are happening throughout your day. And the one sentence helps make that act of noticing more tangible. And over time you may start to see patterns\, small moments that help you feel grounded or connected without even realizing it at the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that this builds awareness slowly. It’s not about big gratitude lists or journaling every detail. It’s just one little honest line. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and it doesn’t have to come from inside you\, right? It can be things that are happening external to you as well. And I think sometimes if we’re having a tough time finding just that [00:06:00] kind of neutral or\, you know\, somewhat positive connection point in the small day-to-day around us\, it can help bring that vibrance back. \nAnd it’s really about consistency more than volume. Here\, the goal is not to collect all the happy moments\, right? But to recognize the ordinary ones that get us through the day-to-day\, that make life feel a little bit more manageable. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I love that. Okay\, now let’s dig into the third one\, the grounding gratitude check-in. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, this is one of my favorites\, truly. And this third practice is for those days when gratitude just feels impossible. And it’s also a little bit of a sensory\, grounding technique. And so\, you know\, if you have spaces where you’re feeling anxious\, overwhelmed\, or just not in that head space\, this is one that I would encourage you to turn to. \nAll you need to do is take a slow\, steady breath anytime that you feel like you need to leverage this. And we’ve got three checkpoints: One thing you can see. You’re naming one thing you can see. Secondly\, [00:07:00] one thing you can touch. And thirdly\, one person\, place or thing that helps you feel supported. \nAnd this brings you back to your body instead of your thoughts\, and it can help your nervous system to calm down a bit. So you can reconnect with that sense of presence. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love this one. This is an incredibly grounding activity. I remember\, a long time ago\, my friend in a workshop that she and I both taught together\, she would have people kind of rub their thumb and their forefinger together\, or one of the fingers on their hand\, and have them feel like the ridges of their fingerprint\, and just really ground them there. \nAnd I ended up buying her\, and I got myself one too\, I ended up buying her this stone that is intentionally meant for you to like – has like a thumbprint in it. And yeah\, it’s intentionally meant for you to kind of rub your thumb on and get connected to a sensory\, you know\, I guess a sensory moment. So I really appreciate this practice [00:08:00] because it’s not about thinking your way into gratitude\, it’s about finding it through grounding and awareness. \nI think I’ve also seen this in like a one thing. You can see two things. You can touch three things. I’ve seen something similar to this\, but I love how simple this one is. \nCORAL OWEN: Totally. And sometimes the most real form of gratitude\, especially when times are challenging\, is simply noticing that you’re here and you’re breathing and you are not alone. And sometimes that is simply enough. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well that is a beautiful practice. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really glad you shared three. I think I gave you some crap at the beginning of this\, but I’m really glad you shared three. \nCORAL OWEN: Thanks so much. I really did enjoy pulling these together for today’s episode\, Jessica. So thanks so much for walking through these with me. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, as we wrap up today\, maybe take a moment wherever you are to pause and notice one thing that brings a bit of steadiness or relief. [00:09:00] You don’t have to call it gratitude\, but you might find that’s what it is. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. And just to reiterate\, gratitude – it doesn’t erase what is hard\, right? But it can soften the edges of when things do feel challenging. And it’s one way to remind ourselves that even in difficult seasons\, there is something that is still holding us. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thanks so much for this conversation on finding gratitude in tough moments\, Coral. \nIf this resonated with you\, our listeners\, share it with someone who might need that reminder today. \nCORAL OWEN: And we will be back soon with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:10:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/finding-gratitude-in-tough-moments/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251120T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251120T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251120T110019Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251114T192551Z
UID:10001703-1763625600-1763658000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Fuel Your Day with Savoring: The "Catching Joy" Practice
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE2MzAwMyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxNjMwMDMtZnVlbC15b3VyLWRheS13aXRoLXNhdm9yaW5nLXRoZS1jYXRjaGluZy1qb3ktcHJhY3RpY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE2MzAwMyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 47) \nIs there a way to make positive moments count more? Yes! This episode focuses on savoring\, the active\, intentional effort to prolong and intensify positive feelings. We discuss the science showing how this simple skill directly counteracts compassion fatigue by building your emotional ‘reservoir’ for well-being. You’ll learn: \n\nThe difference between savoring\, mindfulness\, and gratitude.\nThe step-by-step Catching Joy practice for maximizing present enjoyment.\nHow to use reminiscing (savoring the past) as a powerful tool to draw strength and confidence.\n\nLearn how to actively amplify the positive connections and small victories that fuel your vital work in the Military Family Readiness System. \n  \nLinks: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/ \nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org \nYale’s Science of Well-Being Class on Coursera\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks so much for tuning into the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, and today’s episode is all about a simple\, yet profound strategy for wellbeing. Savoring. My co-host Jessica is here to guide us. Hey Jess. How are you feeling today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m actually feeling really focused and present today\, which is a perfect mindset for this topic. I was kind of just enjoying my second cup of coffee and paying attention to the warmth of the mug. Especially since it’s been getting colder out now\, and also enjoying the rich smell. \nAnd so sort of like a little moment of savoring before we started. And of course once I start digging into something\, I start practicing it like crazy. And so that was a little mini savoring practice that I did. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I feel like that’s really a common experience for coffee lovers and tea lovers of course\, too. And it really does highlight how these moments are all around us\, even in the most seemingly [00:01:00] mundane day-to-day experiences. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. And we’d also love to hear from you\, how have you added moments of savory into your life? You can share your thoughts with us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All righty. So before we dive into today’s practice\, Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about what inspired you to focus on savoring and how it relates to our work supporting families? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Absolutely. My inspiration for this came from an unexpected place\, taking Yale’s Free Science of Wellbeing class. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that\, but I took it on Coursera a few years ago after reading about it\, and savoring was actually one of the core modules. And I found it so powerful for grounding myself and for amplifying joy. \nI often practiced it with small things\, like really tasting a meal\, and I think [00:02:00] foods are probably very natural\, right? We think of savoring and we think of food a lot of times. That’s a very natural way to practice it\, but also just watching a gentle snowfall outside my window\, or enjoying the pleasure my dog gets from a good scratch. \nLike really paying attention in that moment\, and just really amplifying that\, and understanding that this is a good moment\, right? \nAnd so the link to our work\, within the Military Family Readiness System\, is all about stress and burnout prevention. The work of supporting others can be tireless\, often managing complex needs and systems. And the evidence shows that savoring is a powerful tool to interrupt the stress cycle. \nStudies consistently demonstrate that intentionally focusing on positive feelings and experiences or savoring them can increase our overall happiness\, can boost positive emotions and even reduce the symptoms of depression. \nSo it shifts our focus from what’s [00:03:00] overwhelming to what is enriching\, even for just a few seconds. \nCORAL OWEN: That is so interesting. It actually kind of sounds like a cousin to the concepts like mindfulness and gratitude\, which I know many of our listeners may already be practicing. Can you clarify or kind of distinguish how savoring is different from these other concepts and practices? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think that’s an important distinction. And frankly\, any one of these\, doing any one of these things you mentioned like mindfulness\, gratitude\, I think are going to have the effect of boosting your positive emotions. These things can all also work together\, but they are not necessarily the same. \nSo mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Whether the experience is neutral\, positive or negative\, it’s about awareness. And then gratitude is the focus on the gifts\, contributions\, or good things that have been done for or given to us. Often looking at the source of a positive outcome. \nIt’s kind [00:04:00] of\, past or present focused usually. Awe\, which we just talked about in an episode\, is a specific emotion that recognizes vastness and the connections to the outside world. Like we will realize how small we are\, but how connected we are to whatever it is that we’re recognizing as vast. \nAnd then savoring\, on the other hand\, is specifically about amplifying and prolonging positive emotional experiences. It’s the intentional effort to keep the positive feeling going and to feel it more deeply. So if mindfulness is noticing the positive flavor of a piece of chocolate\, savoring is making the flavor last and really feeling the enjoyment that comes with it. \nIt’s about maximizing the good of the experience. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. That’s also so helpful to have it broken down like that. Thank you. And it’s so nice to have that concept and have it become [00:05:00] actionable. We’d spend so much time noticing problems that need fixing. I feel like savoring is sort of this deliberate practice of saying like\, “Hold on\, wait. This is good\, and I’m gonna soak it up.” And it’s like a simple tool for making these positive moments\, no matter how small they are\, really count. \nAlrighty\, so here comes the practical bit. Jessica\, can you walk us through step by step how someone can try this in their own life or even in their workday? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, definitely. We’re gonna try an activity that I’m currently calling “Catching Joy.” I’ve tried like three or four different names for this. I’m calling it catching joy right now. So this is a quick and easy practice you can do with almost anything. A sip of tea\, a phone call that went really well\, or even a moment of quiet between tasks. \nSo the first thing you’re going to do: choose your moment. Just stop what you’re doing for a moment and consciously pick something positive that’s [00:06:00] happening right now. It can be tiny\, like a ray of sun coming through the window\, the successful completion of an email or the smell of your lunch. The key is to stop the autopilot and decide I’m going to pay attention to this moment of goodness. \nCORAL OWEN: That pauses everything\, isn’t it? Just creating that space for the moment to simply exist. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah\, it really is. And so what that does then is in step two\, because you’ve taken that pause and decided to pay attention to the moment\, then you can engage all your senses. This is where the depth comes in. Don’t just think about the moment. Experience it fully. If it’s your cup of tea\, then notice the smell\, the temperature on your lips\, the taste as it washes over your tongue. \nIf it’s a positive interaction with a client or with a partner\, notice the sound of their voice\, the feeling of relief or [00:07:00] connection in your chest\, and the sight of their thankfulness. Ask yourself\, “What does my body notice right now?” \nWhatever it is that you’ve chosen to pay attention to\, just ask\, what does my body notice right now? \nAnd then step three: internalize and label the feeling. So as you experience this with your senses\, give the positive emotion a name. Are you feeling joy? Are you feeling contentment? How about satisfaction? Just silently say it to yourself: “I’m feeling a wave of deep satisfaction.” I know that contentment for me comes up a lot when I’m practicing this. \nNaming the feeling helps your brain register it more powerfully as a positive memory and part of your experience. I mentioned earlier that one of the ways I’ve used this is just really savoring a gentle snowfall now. After I’ve done that a few times and really spent the time savoring it\, I actually notice the gentle snowfall [00:08:00] more quickly now\, and I’ll stop for a moment and make sure that I savor those moments. \nAlright\, the last step: extend the experience. This is also called basking. Don’t rush away. Hold the feeling for an extra five to 10 seconds before moving on. We’re not talking about an inordinate amount of time here. Take a deep breath and deliberately allow the positive feeling to spread through your body. \nKind of like soaking up the sun\, you know how the sun feels in the spring. The first time it starts getting a little warm and you go outside and you just put your face up to the sun. So soak up the feeling. By extending it\, you help cement the positive memory and emotional response\, making it easier to recall later. \nCORAL OWEN: That four step catching joy practice\, by the way\, Jess\, I love that name. It’s just so simple and practical for the present moment. I was wondering\, do you have an example of how the principle of savoring can also be used to draw strength from the past?[00:09:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. That’s a really good question. I really actually struggled when I was looking for a practice I wanted to choose for savoring\, because there’s a lot of different ways you can practice savoring. I’m going to give you an example that highlights how versatile savoring is. \nWe often talk about future coping strategies\, but reminiscing the intentional recall of a positive memory is one of the most powerful ways to savor\, and it’s a form of emotional resilience. It’s like applying the catching joy practice we just went through to a memory\, instead of to the moment that you’re in. \nSo I have a good example that connects to overcoming performance anxiety\, or stage fright. Or public speaking anxiety is another way of putting that\, which most people can relate to. Because we know that public speaking is the most feared activity among people. So I often get extra nervous when I’m doing public speaking [00:10:00] in front of peers\, but I have a memory that I intentionally returned to. \nSeveral years ago\, I participated in a musical improv night during a conference. I cannot sing well\, and I was on stage with people who had many more years of training than I did\, and I was nervous about that. But I did it anyway\, and I ended up absolutely loving the experience. \nTo help with public speaking anxiety\, now I think of that night\, and I remember. I’ll never forget this specifically: taking a moment to look around while I was on stage\, noticing who was there with me\, what the stage looked like\, because I was feeling such a powerful sense of belonging and creativity with the group. That was a moment of present moment savoring\, right? \nSo I took a moment during that performance too. Engage in sort of a\, you know\, four step catching joy activity that we just went through. Now though\, when I’m stressed\, I [00:11:00] reminisce about this. I replay the specific words I sang\, which I’ll never forget either\, right? I can almost feel the stage lights and I can recall the rush of positive feeling. \nIf I can sing terribly in front of a room full of peers and strangers and love every second\, then I can definitely present my work to colleagues. That’s how it helps me. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much. That’s such a powerful example\, it’s almost like a savoring memory bake. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, and it just perfectly demonstrates that energy boost that we can get from the catching joy practice. It doesn’t disappear\, right? It gets banked and filed away for later\, and you’re consciously capturing that feeling of connection and confidence in the moment\, and then you can intentionally pull it out whenever you need that boost in the future. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. I mean\, savoring is about amplifying the signal of the good. Whether it’s the smell of your coffee right [00:12:00] now\, or the sense of accomplishment from a year ago. It all builds your emotional resilience. So here’s a challenge for all of you\, all of our listeners: try the Catching Joy practice just once a day this week or one day this week. \nDon’t wait for a huge event. Just find a positive moment in the mundane: your lunch break\, the first sip of water\, or a successful phone call. And if you’re facing a stressful moment\, try my technique\, savor a positive memory by reliving the sensory details and letting the good feelings wash over you. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much. Thanks so much for sharing this practice\, Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I loved it. \nCORAL OWEN: Alrighty\, well that is a wrap for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining our conversation today on the power of savoring the moment both in the present\, but also in the past. \nIf you found value in our talk today\, you can share this episode with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with something new and until then\, keep practicing. [00:13:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/fuel-your-day-with-savoring-the-catching-joy-practice/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251113T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251113T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251113T110050Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T163543Z
UID:10001702-1763020800-1763053200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reconnecting with Wonder to Spark Creativity
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE0NjM4MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxNDYzODAtcmVjb25uZWN0aW5nLXdpdGgtd29uZGVyLXRvLXNwYXJrLWNyZWF0aXZpdHkuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE0NjM4MCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 46) \nWhen the complexity of your work leads to burnout and tunnel vision\, where do you find the energy to create solutions?  \nToday\, we’re exploring the science of awe – that powerful feeling we experience in the presence of something vast. We’ll share simple\, evidence-based practices for weaving micro-moments of wonder into your busiest days\, helping you downshift your nervous system and instantly restore your perspective. \nIn high-stress roles\, we often get stuck in rumination and burnout. This episode explores the restorative power of awe\, the feeling of wonder and humility in the presence of something vast (as defined by Dr. Dacher Keltner). \nWe discuss the science showing how awe reduces cortisol and inflammation\, while significantly boosting creativity and perspective. You’ll learn the three-part practice: \n\nMicro Awe: The daily “Awe Walk” to reset your stress response.\nThe Weekly Deep Dive: Spending extended time in nature to boost creativity by nearly 50%.\nAwe in Community: Using Dr. Keith Tidball’s concept of urgent biophilia to foster shared purpose and resilience.\n\nAwe doesn’t demand more of your time – it asks for your attention. Tune in to learn how to find those moments of wonder and bring new energy to your work supporting military families. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\n\n\nFinding Awe in the Ordinary | Greater Good Magazine\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Today we’re exploring something that might sound a little bit magical – \nCORAL OWEN: Aww. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, awww! That’s what I was just saying beforehand. I can’t not do it. So specifically we’re gonna be talking about how cultivating moments of awe in nature can help prevent burnout and reignite creativity. \nCORAL OWEN: This topic is actually one of my favorites\, Jess. I know that we were talking about that a little bit in our pre-show recording. But yeah\, seriously\, we’ve all\, I’m sure we’ve all had those experiences like standing under trees after a rainstorm\, catching the glow of a sunset\, seeing a flock of birds move in unison. \nIt’s those moments where time feels like it just slows down a bit. And these moments of awe are more than beautiful. They’re actually deeply restorative. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And [00:01:00] before we go further\, let’s actually get into what we mean by awe. \nSo psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner describes it as\, “The feeling we experience in the presence of something vast\, that transcends our current understanding of the world.” \nIt’s that mix of wonder\, humility and curiosity that pulls us out of ourselves and reminds us that there’s more to life than what’s right in front of us. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and just because you’re reading that definition\, it does kind of give the sense that\, “Oh man\, we really need to\, you know\, like be in front of the Grand Canyon or something.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: It can also be a lot more micro than that. But we’ll talk about that in a second. But truly\, awe does have this incredible ability\, whether micro or more on the grand scale\, to shift our perspective from me to we\, and remind us that we are part of something bigger. \nAnd that shift in perspective can really [00:02:00] spark creativity\, restore motivation\, and bring us back into alignment with what really matters. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And what’s really interesting to me is that science backs that up\, right? So researchers studying emotions like all people like Dr. Keltner and Florence Williams have found that these experiences help downshift our nervous system. They reduce hormones like cortisol. They lower inflammation. They even ease rumination\, that repetitive like mental loop that we get stuck in when we’re burned out. And that is definitely one area that I need to reduce. \nCORAL OWEN: I think we can all find relativity in that. And truly the best part is\, like we already mentioned\, you don’t have to go to great lengths to find these massive vantage points like the Grand Canyon or the Atlantic Ocean. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Great Lakes too! So\, oh\, you said “great [00:03:00] lengths\,” but I was like\, “Oh\, well I could go to the Great Lakes. That’s only like 45 minutes from where I live.” \nCORAL OWEN: A little more than around the block than us. But yeah\, I mean\, you don’t have to go to the Great Lakes to experience this phenomenon. And according to\, I know a lot of people perhaps have read The Nature Fix\, which is by Florence Williams. Then there’s other research of course from psychologists like Paul Piff\, that even these small daily moments of nature can produce measurable benefits. \nAnd even as small as a dose of just a few minutes\, like noticing a tree outside your window\, or watching the clouds move\, can begin that restorative process. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And when we extend that\, when we spend a little more intentional time outdoors or share those experiences with others\, we not only boost creativity\, but we also deepen community connection\, which is awesome. \nThat’s where the work of Dr. Keith Tidball comes in. [00:04:00] His concept of urgent biophilia highlights how people naturally turn to nature and greening projects during or after stressful times. So planting\, rebuilding\, restoring as a way to heal together. \nCORAL OWEN: Yes. And so today we’re talking about awe as a simple\, accessible tool for resilience and renewal\, and I’ve put together a couple of practices that can bring this to life. \nSo starting with more small personal moments of awe and then deepening it to more of a weekly rhythm\, and finally\, expanding outward to include community. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So let’s get into it then. \nCORAL OWEN: Sounds good\, shall we? So\, let’s start small\, okay? Because awe does not have to take a lot of time. It does not have to be grandiose. These micro practices can be woven into your daily routine\, even on your busiest days\, which I would actually argue\, it matters even more. \nSo one of my favorites is what researchers call an “awe walk.” And this can be a short walk\, five to ten [00:05:00] minutes around your neighborhood\, a local park\, even in your office courtyard. And the goal – yes\, of course exercise is great\, and movement is wonderful\, but that actually is not the primary focus here. It’s your attention. \nAnd as you walk\, look around with curiosity\, what’s one detail you might normally miss? Like the pattern of the leaves against the sky\, the way the light hits the building\, sounds of the birds\, wind. You know\, anything truly\, you just have this act of noticing\, and maybe you might even whisper\, “Wow.” \nAnd when you finish\, just take a slow breath. There is a lot of presence in breath as well. And ask yourself\, “What surprised me just now? Does my body feel different than before?” \nThese small moments of awe help reset our stress response to loose and rigid thinking. And also surprisingly\, perhaps open creative pathways\, which is something that we all need when we’re running on empty. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I really love how simple that is. It doesn’t require scheduling or special equipment\, just a [00:06:00] few intentional minutes to notice what’s already around you. \nCORAL OWEN: Precisely. Awe is everywhere. Just a lot of times we get a little busy and perhaps forget to look for it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. \nCORAL OWEN: So part two\, and this is something that is maybe not as quickly accessible. We would invite you to maybe do this next practice once a week\, once a month\, whatever suits your schedule. Still with regularity\, but perhaps less\, a little bit less frequency than daily. \nDo take a little bit more time to immerse yourself in a setting that evokes wonder. This might be walking along the beach\, going to the Great Lakes\, hiking a favorite trail\, perhaps even star gazing. And again\, the goal here isn’t to do anything in particular\, necessarily. It’s to be with the experience. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think that that’s a really important distinction here because we’re talking about awe\, but awe isn’t an action. Awe is a [00:07:00] feeling\, right? \nSo you’re\, feeling the awesomeness or the\, you’re feeling the awe right\, and the act and the practice is putting yourself into the mindset or the position to be able to notice what might make you feel that sense of awe. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. It really is experiencing wonder\, but it’s creating the space. Jessica\, you’re so right. That’s a great distinction. \nSo kind of with that sense of\, “How are we creating the setting to allow awe and wonder to come in.” Some things that may help: leaving your phone behind or putting it on airplane mode. You also give yourself twenty or thirty minutes to explore\, slowly and silently\, and then when something catches your attention. Maybe it’s a sound\, a color\, a scent. Something that fills the senses. \nJust pause. Let it fill your awareness for a few breaths. [00:08:00] And this simple act of attention\, it can expand your sense of space and time. \nIt creates mental spaciousness. Studies do show that extended time in nature boosts creativity by nearly 50%\, which I thought was incredible. Simply by allowing the brain’s default mode network to rest and reset. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s really fascinating\, and it really makes sense too. Some of my most creative ideas come after a time outdoors when I’ve really stopped trying to solve a problem. And look\, I live in a city\, and I still consider\, you know\, as I’m taking a walk\, I’m still noticing the nature around me. There’s still nature around. I intentionally walk through\, it’s this tiny little pocket park\, but I intentionally walk through that park. I notice all of the nature around me\, and even after my city walks or whatever\, I still have some of my most creative ideas. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, it’s not uncommon\, Jess at all. [00:09:00] It is really something that when we’re trying to force something\, or just\, you know\, staring at the screen\, you know\, or even pen to paper\, just waiting for something to come along. Sometimes we just need to kind of break out of that groove and just go do something different. \nAnd these moments of awe can really kind of allow that creativity to come back in. And it really does soften the edges of\, “I have to figure this out\,” and lets those insights kind of emerge more naturally. \nAll right\, so something that we alluded to earlier is that having a community element can really just lift this to a whole new level. And Dr. Keith Tidball\, whose research we talked about earlier\, his research on urgent biophilia\, it does show that communities often do turn to nature after disruption or stress. \nIn his work in particular\, after natural disasters such as hurricanes\, et cetera\, and initiatives such as planting trees\, starting gardens\, [00:10:00] cleaning rivers\, awe is a way to restore both the land and the spirit. And when we share awe\, we don’t just restore ourselves\, we also help restore one another. \nSo to move forward with this incredible realization\, as a practice\, here are just a few suggestions that you might try to invite community into your awe practice. You could invite a friend for a sunrise walk or an evening sky watch. I think there are some astronomy clubs\, Jess\, that you – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I just joined one right before we recorded. I was telling Coral how I just joined an astronomy club and\, it’s pretty nice to not be alone in\, you know\, as alone as I love to be in the quiet of the night sky\, it’s nice to not be alone. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds really fun actually. A couple other ideas you might share: A “wow” photo or a wonder photo from your week in a group chat or a team [00:11:00] space. \nFor teams that I’ve worked on previously\, we’ve used Slack and\, you know\, I just might be like\, “Hey\, this was for my coffee walk this morning\,” and everybody kind of chimes in with theirs. Kind of fun. \nOther ideas for consideration? Perhaps volunteering at a local park cleanup\, beach cleanup\, community garden or environmental project. And the thought here is that these shared moments build connection\, purpose\, and resilience\, and it really is just such a powerful antidote to burnout’s isolation. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it’s beautiful how something as simple as noticing nature can ripple outward from calming one person’s nervous system to strengthening a whole community. \nCORAL OWEN: That really is the heart of it. Awe helps us connect with ourself\, but it also connects us to creativity and to one another as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks so much for sharing that\, Coral. As we wrap up today\, maybe you’ll find a moment\, even just a few seconds\, to look up at the sky\, feel the [00:12:00] air on your skin\, or notice the color of the leaves where you are. Those small pauses have the power to shift your whole day. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. In awe\, it doesn’t demand more of our time\, like Jess already said. All it’s doing is asking for our attention\, and then in that attention we can often discover a little wonder\, a little spaciousness\, and perhaps even a spark of inspiration we maybe even didn’t know that we’d lost. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thanks so much for spending part of your day with us here on Practicing Connection. If this conversation resonated with you\, we’d love for you to share it with someone who might need that gentle reminder to step outside and breathe. \nWe will be back next week with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:13:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reconnecting-with-wonder-to-sparl-creativity/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/qtq80-kFeWvf.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251106T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251106T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251106T110012Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T161435Z
UID:10001701-1762416000-1762448400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Ending the Day Strong: A 5-minute Daily Reset
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODExNjcyOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxMTY3MjgtZW5kaW5nLXRoZS1kYXktc3Ryb25nLWEtNS1taW51dGUtZGFpbHktcmVzZXQuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODExNjcyOCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 45) \nFeeling stretched thin?  \nTry this simple 5-minute daily practice to get yourself untangled and take small steps to move out of overwhelm\, help you notice what fuels you\, and set you up for a calmer tomorrow.  \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica discuss how to combat overwhelm through a quick\, consistent reflection habit. Jessica introduces a five-minute daily practice built around three guiding questions: \n\nWhat was energy-generating today?\nWhat was energy draining?\nAnd what can I do differently tomorrow?\n\nThis small act of awareness – done daily – can help you see patterns\, make gentle adjustments\, and bring focus to what matters most. \nWhether you’re juggling deadlines\, family\, or transitions\, you’ll learn how everyday reflection can restore clarity and control. \nAnd check out this episode from our archives for more perspective on great tracking practices: \n“Energy and engagement tracking\, Nov. 30\, 2023” \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Hi there. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host Jessica is here today as well. And we are going to be talking about fighting overwhelm with daily reflections. And Jess is going to be sharing a practice with us. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF I’m pretty good today. You know what? I can’t complain. It’s still warm-ish outside. The sky is blue against all the beautiful fall colors. The fall rush of activity has calmed down. It seems like September is always such a busy month. This actually kind of feels a little bit like the calm before the storm though\, with the end of the year holidays around the corner. So I’ll share a little bit more about this in a minute. \nBut I just went over my calendar between now\, which is earlier in October as we’re recording this\, and the end of the year. And I started to claim\, like pre-claim\, time on my calendar to block it off way ahead so that I can be prepared when my schedule gets full. And I’m going to stick to it! \nCORAL OWEN Love that for you. No\, I will say the calendar bit\, very relatable. Here in Tampa Bay is\, we’ll call it “Florida Fall.” Like the mercury dipped below 70 the other day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Like Wisconsin summer? \nCORAL OWEN (01:20.856) \nProbably. And literally the entire neighborhood busted out their like hoodies and beanies and it’s only 69 degrees. So\, but no\, I totally feel you on the calendar bit. I actually began a similar practice about a month ago by grouping similar work into like particular time windows each day. And it really has\, I’ve tried to stick with it\, you know\, like Monday we’re doing this and you know\, Tuesday we’re doing that\, and trying to primarily just keep like for instance calls to the afternoon. \nSo I’ve got a bigger chunk of time in the morning to just move through things and think a little bit more deeply. But it really has helped me stay focused. I’m getting more done\, doing better quality work and thinking. I really just don’t feel so scattered with my energy. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah\, it’s really hard. Context switching is really hard\, like going from one project to a different project where\, you know\, there might be some connective tissue between the two\, but it’s maybe it’s weak connective tissue and it’s a lot of work to kind of do that switching constantly. So that sounds like a really smart strategy. \nCORAL OWEN Absolutely. I know that a lot of people probably can relate to this. Even if you have one role\, oftentimes people will wear many different hats within the same role. So yeah\, maybe we should do another episode about that\, at some point. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF We probably should\, yeah! \nCORAL OWEN (02:42.497) \nWell\, for today\, at least\, we are going to be digging in more about daily reflections. Jess\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you chose today and why did you decide to dig into this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Well\, I mean\, and daily reflections is not new to this podcast\, right? There are so many different ways that you can do daily reflections. And that’s why we cover it so many different ways as well. \nAnd so I’ve been planning out my time\, like I mentioned a little bit ago\, for the rest of the year. And I was struck by just how busy the last two months of the year can get. \nAt work\, you know\, there are project deadlines\, of course. There’s reporting to finish before the end of the year\, many of us have. And it’s often in months that are also packed with travel and important personal commitments. \nMeanwhile\, if you’re in the Northern hemisphere\, like we are\, the days are getting shorter\, which is really annoying\, but that’s another story. All of that can actually combine into making like November and December really\, really hectic\, stressful\, and completely overwhelming. \nHence my going through and pre blocking my time to make sure that I had some. And it’s really hard to know what will help me navigate through all of that. So that’s why. \nCORAL OWEN Yeah\, for sure. There is just so much happening in these periods of time and seasons. What particularly makes a reflection practice helpful in spaces such as these? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (04:12.482) \nThis is the reason why I often suggest reflection practices\, because I know that everyone needs something that’s low commitment and really simple. If you’re overwhelmed\, adding a huge task isn’t going to help. Because I practice daily reflection almost daily\, I’m not perfect\, I know that it doesn’t take long and it’s not a huge task. \nAnd when it comes to this time of year\, toward the end of the calendar year\, it’s not the time to make huge changes or to do deep inventories. To navigate overwhelm when you need something that is incredibly surprisingly achievable. That’s why reflection\, daily reflection helps. \nSo this particular daily reflection is just that. It’s really simple\, takes about five minutes and it invites you to find one small thing that you can change. \nCORAL OWEN That does seem pretty approachable. There is a part of me saying immediately like\, “Well\, if it’s that simple\, how is it actually helpful?” So what would you say in response to that? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah\, I do think that sometimes practices like this can feel overly simple\, and\, “It’s only a few minutes so I can skip it today.” \nHence\, even my own admission that I practice daily reflection almost daily. So it does seem overly simple for such a big issue and for something that can create such a big change. \nI understand why someone might think it wouldn’t be helpful. The power really in this practice is doing it daily. By making it simple\, we make it easier to do every day. So consistency\, because consistency is the key for this practice to have big impacts\, if you do it once\, but never again\, you won’t get the same impact as doing it daily or even weekly. \nAnd by doing it regularly\, then you can start to see patterns. You can test possible next steps. You know\, we can test different things\, and maybe immediately start to see impacts of some of those small changes that you implement. \nIt’s kind of like that\, how a bunch of tiny steps can build up into a big momentum over time. Baby steps\, think\, used to be the term that we would all use\, ‘baby steps.’ \nCORAL OWEN Mm-hmm. Well\, while you were unpacking all of that\, I immediately just thought of brushing your teeth. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yes\, right! A small daily practice that has big impact on your health. \nCORAL OWEN 100%. So this is yeah\, mental. Mental and energetic and calendar health\, even. So\, and I totally agree that if you’re reflecting over time\, it’ll be easier to notice how your choices are impacting your experience. But having just like a very narrow aperture on say a day\, you probably won’t see much\, but if you expand it outwards a bit more\, a couple of months\, six months\, year\, it probably is a huge shift. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. And the particular questions that’ll be sharing in a little bit\, I think\, are especially helpful for taking that larger look over time. And I think you’ll see\, you’ll see why in a little bit. \nBut yeah\, exactly. Long-term doing regular reflection kind of gives you those opportunities to have agency and ownership over your own growth. And you know\, when you notice what is going on during your days and you have the opportunity to decide what changes you want to make. \nI think it’s especially helpful in situations where a lot of what you do is dictated by others. Or I would say a lot of what you do sometimes feels like it might be dictated by others\, right? I talked about trying to claim time ahead of time before my schedule gets crazy. \nWell\, guess who allows my schedule to get crazy? It’s really me. I mean\, that’s not always the case\, I know that\, but sometimes it is a very real situation where your schedule is dictated by others. And sometimes it’s a little more of a self-created situation or a perceived situation. \nAnyway\, regardless of what it is\, if you feel stuck or trapped\, it can feel impossible to figure out next steps. And so this reflection can help highlight what changes you’re able to make. And while it isn’t going to magically get rid of the hard things in your life\, it can help you proactively decide how you want to navigate them. And making these deliberate choices can be really empowering. \nCORAL OWEN I love that and it really does sound great. How does one go about implementing this and how does it work? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF All right\, so this reflection is designed for the end of the day. I recommend scheduling just five minutes every day for at least a week. \nMaybe that looks like the end of your workday on your commute home\, or while you brush and floss your teeth. Although if you’re doing it while you brush and floss your teeth\, it’ll be harder for you to write down your thoughts\, but that’s okay. Whatever space you have for pausing to think is absolutely the correct space. \nOnce you reach your reflection\, time and space\, ask yourself these three questions. And I’ll go into a little more detail in a second here. But the three questions are\, what was energy generating today? What was energy draining today? And\, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? \nYou might help find it really helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help keep track of what you’re seeing over time. But I would avoid writing more than a short list or one to two sentences per question. It is absolutely imperative that we keep it simple or we’re not going to keep doing this. \nYou can\, if you like\, especially if you’ve chosen brushing your teeth as the time that you’re going to\, that you’re going to reflect\, you can just reflect on these questions and not write them down. The reason we recommend writing them down is because our memories are\, at best\, inconsistent. So in order to see patterns and reap those larger results we were talking about\, just quickly jotting a few thoughts down will be key. And it doesn’t really take much more time than just sitting and reflecting. \nCORAL OWEN Those are great questions and I’m just curious\, not to put you on the spot\, but what might it look like to answer them? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. Okay. Great. Put me on the spot\, won’t you? \nNo\, of course I came prepared to answer this question. So one general tip is to do your best to approach your answers with curiosity rather than judgment. The first time you do the reflection\, the questions might be hard to answer\, but if you keep answering them consistently\, you’re going to start to look for your answers throughout the day. You’re going to start to notice things more easily. And the reflection itself is going to go more quickly. \nSo here’s a few tips on each of those three questions. So first\, what was energy generating today? When you’re overwhelmed\, it’s easy to miss the good stuff\, but it’s really important to notice what is going well. And this is what will help sustain you throughout the busy seasons. \nYour answers can be something small like\, ‘trading a genuine smile with a stranger at a grocery store\,” or something really big like\, ‘finishing a month’s or year’s long project.’ \nJust try to be specific and honest with yourself about what actually gave you energy. And I think a caveat here is sometimes we might give an answer because we think it should be something that gives us energy. Like I’m going to just use like\, spending time with our kids. \nI don’t have children\, and I’ve said that on here before\, but I think sometimes saying something like\, “spending time with our kids\, or\, ‘finishing that months long project\,’ like we might say something like that because we think it should give us energy\, but I just really want you to reflect on\, was that something that gave you energy? Was that something that just was a lovely release\, but maybe didn’t give you energy? Does that make sense\, Coral? \nCORAL OWEN Yeah\, that totally does make sense. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Okay\, great. I want to make sure\, because I do this kind of practice a lot and I just want people to make sure that they are able to check in really on something that gave them energy versus was just a release. \nAnd if you can’t come up with a single thing that was energy generating\, that’s okay. Just make note of it and move on. So that was what was energy generating today. Now here’s some tips for what was energy draining today. \nI think it’s often easier for us to recognize this one. So this is another question where I encourage you to be specific and honest with yourself. If your instinct is to say “everything\,” that’s actually\, well it’s not being specific for sure. And it’s possibly not being honest with yourself. I think it’s sometimes easier for us to recognize that we felt bad versus recognize why we felt bad today\, right. Or why that was energy draining in this specific case. \nSo try coming up with a list of one to three specific things\, big or small\, that drained your energy\, right? So doing anything with financials drains my energy. I know that. I’ve identified it over the years. If I had to do a whole bunch of travel expense reimbursements or anything to do with finances\, I know that that day\, I’m going to be able to list that very specifically. ‘I had to deal with finances.’ \nAnd again\, if you can’t think of a single thing that was energy draining\, that’s okay. Just ask yourself\, what was overwhelming for me today instead? And still\, if you can’t find an answer to that\, that’s okay. Just note that there was nothing energy draining today. \nIf you find the same thing coming up from day to day\, get curious about it. What about this thing is draining? How can you shift things in your favor\, and who or what can support you? \nIn the case of my issue with dealing with financial tasks\, for me\, what’s draining about it is the sheer level of detail and rules involved and process. You know\, you have to do this before you do that\, and you have to explain this to a great level of detail. And it’s just a lot happening. \nAnd one of the things that helped me shift things in my favor was getting to know\, believe it or not\, getting to know what some of those rules were so that I could do it flawlessly each time I did it. Now it still doesn’t take away the fact that I dislike doing it and that it drains my energy\, but it helps me get through it faster and easier than before. So that’s an example of how that can work. \nSo those were some tips for what was energy draining today. Now the last question is\, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? And this is the question where we try to hone in on converting the energy-draining activities into more neutral activities. \nLike I said\, with my financial tasks\, I was able to turn something that was super energy draining into more of the neutral space. It still is energy draining\, but it’s less energy draining than it was before. So this is about turning those activities into more neutral activities\, or adding more energy generating activities into our day. \nSo something might immediately pop up for you when you think about this question\, but sometimes the energy draining things aren’t something we can get rid of\, right? I have to do those financial tasks\, right? I can’t get rid of those. So if that’s the case\, just try asking yourself\, how can I make this easier or kinder for myself? \nThose were tips for the third question\, “Is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow?” You might find it helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help you track what you’re seeing over time. We’ve said that a couple of times. I do think that that is a really helpful way of getting that wider view\, but we really want to keep it simple. \nSo don’t do any more\, as a reminder\, any more than one to two sentences per question. If you notice something specific keeps popping up as energizing\, try to do that more. And then of course\, if you notice something that keeps draining your energy\, and nothing you’ve tried makes a difference\, that’s a sign that you might want to ask someone you trust for help thinking through how to shake things up. Or maybe you don’t need to ask somebody for that. You can just think of other ideas for taking things up. \nCORAL OWEN Delegate it! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (16:36.142) \nOr if you can delegate\, then by all means delegate. \nCORAL OWEN I say this as I’m teaching my three year old how to load the dryer. Anyway\, that was all in jest. \nNo\, seriously\, Jess\, thank you so much for doing a deeper dive into those questions. Those were wonderful tips that provided a lot of clarity. My tendency would be to hear those questions or read those questions and think through it more high level\, but getting so granular as to the point of ‘a genuine smile from a stranger at a grocery store\,’ those micro moments sometimes really can be a lot more impactful than I think we might give them credit for\, for better or for worse. \nSo\, yeah\, doing that deep dive was really helpful. So thank you so much for this reflection. And yeah\, it kind of feels like maybe like a closing ceremony to your day\, and just really wraps things up nicely and just with a little bit of\, not formality\, but just a little bit of a ritual\, helping you pivot to that next activity\, whatever it is you’re you’re doing from there. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah and you know part of the purpose of that final question is that it can set you up with momentum already for the next day. \nCORAL OWEN (17:49.654) \nOh that’s such a good point. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Right? Yeah so if decision fatigue is one of the things you struggle with while you’re feeling overwhelmed\, that third question is going to help you get started with your next day. \nCORAL OWEN (18:00.184) \nThat’s a really wonderful point and I love that so much. \nAll right. Well\, that is all for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us and a special thanks to our co-producer\, Erin Carlson Rivera\, for producing this episode. \nAs always\, if you enjoyed this or any of our episodes\, please be sure to click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with a new episode and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/ending-the-day-strong-a-5-minute-daily-reset/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/AdobeStock_286723164-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251030T063000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251030T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251030T100045Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260311T203121Z
UID:10001700-1761805800-1761843600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Planting Seeds: 3 Minute Connections That Transform Your Relationships
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODA3Mjk3MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgwNzI5NzMtcGxhbnRpbmctc2VlZHMtMy1taW51dGUtY29ubmVjdGlvbnMtdGhhdC10cmFuc2Zvcm0teW91ci1yZWxhdGlvbnNoaXBzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgwNzI5NzMlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 44) \nWhat if three minutes a day could transform your relationships- and your whole sense of connection?  \nDiscover how tiny\, intentional gestures can spark big ripples across your community. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral spotlight the overlooked power of small\, intentional outreach. Inspired by the “3-Minute Rule\,” they explore how three minutes a day spent reaching out – with no agenda -can strengthen bonds\, expand networks\, and boost both appreciation and purpose. \nListeners get actionable steps to make this practice stick\, hear about the ripple effects of genuine connections\, and find out how consistency in small gestures leads to a thriving community – both personally and professionally. \nBonus: Try the “3 for 3” connection habit! \n\nFor the next five days\, spend three minutes each day reaching out to three people: send a quick thank you\, a simple check-in\, or let someone know you’re thinking of them (no agenda\, no ask).\nShare your favorite message (anonymized if needed)\, or a reflection on how this small habit affected you\, in our LinkedIn group.\n\nLet’s plant connection seeds together and inspire others to keep the ripple going! \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and today Coral will share a practice with us about something that might sound small\, but it can have an incredible ripple effect. The simple act of reaching out. We’ll explore how a few intentional minutes each day can strengthen our relationships\, our communities\, and even our sense of purpose. \nHi Coral. How are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica. I’m doing really well\, thanks. I absolutely love this topic because it reminds me that connection doesn’t always have to be a big\, time-consuming effort. It can kind of feel that way sometimes\, but often\, it’s really the smallest gestures that can create some of the deepest impact. Simply a text\, a quick check-in\, or just a short note that says\, “Hey\, just thinking about you.” Doesn’t have to be huge or massive to make a massive impact. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. You don’t have to like stand outside their window holding a [00:01:00] boombox above your head. I know it’s a different kind of a declaration\, but anyway\, and I really think that so many of us want to be better about that. We mean to reach out to people. I mean\, I know I do all the time. I think about people I want to reach out to. We mean to reach out to people that we care about or to follow up after a really good conversation. I mean\, hello conferences. \nBut it’s really easy for that intention to get lost in the day-to-day busyness. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. I think a lot of us\, I’m actually totally speaking for myself here\, you know\, thinking about connection. It’s like\, “Oh\, I need to call so and so\,” and it’s just like trying to find the time and space to do that big catch up\, it can feel really intimidating. And what we’re going to talk about today is really a way to build that habit into your life in a very simple\, approachable\, doable way. \nAnd it only takes but a few minutes to help you stay genuinely connected. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s talk about it before we get into the actual practice [00:02:00] itself. Why does this matter? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so when we talk about practicing connection\, we’re often thinking about how to build and strengthen relationships over time with our colleagues\, friends\, family\, community members. But the catch is the connection. It doesn’t just happen\, right? It takes intention\, even when that action itself is quite small. \nAnd so I like to think of it as\, aptly named: practice for today\, as well as planting seeds. So you might not see anything grow straight away. But each little outreach\, each little moment of care or gratitude\, it really does have the potential to bloom in unexpected ways. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And that\, I mean\, I know that the term ‘planting seeds’ gets used for a lot of things\, but it really is such a beautiful image and in this case\, it really takes the pressure off. You’re not reaching out with an agenda or expecting something back from the person. You’re just tending to your relationships in small but consistent ways. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. And\, this idea really [00:03:00] has been wonderfully captured. If you’re familiar with the entrepreneur\, Jesse Itzler\, he shares this practice in a very similar vein. He calls it the Three Minute Rule and\, put simply\, it’s the practice. That did inspire today’s episode in the large part. But the idea is simply to spend three minutes a day\, and you can certainly modify this too\, to suit your own daily timeline. \nBut as a core practice\, we invite you to just spend three minutes a day reaching out to three people. And the anchor here though is that there’s no ask\, no goal. It’s just a moment of connection. And whether it be a text or a quick note or a voice memo\, which I’m a huge fan of\, bit by bit\, these really tiny\, small gestures\, or seeds\, if you will\, they build a powerful network of really genuine relationships. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I love that. It’s really practical\, but it’s also heart centered\, right? And it’s something you could even say human centered. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And it’s something that we can all do\, you know\, no matter how full our [00:04:00] schedules are. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. Alright\, so let’s just cut to the chase\, and here is how to try it each day. Take three minutes. You can even literally set a timer if that is helpful\, and reach out to three people. It could look like sending a quick thank you to a colleague\, writing a text to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while\, writing a short message or sending a quick voice memo to someone who has made an impact on your life. \nAnd again\, just to reiterate\, the key here is there’s no ask\, there’s no agenda. It’s just connection. And you could even say\, “Hey\, so and so\, no need to reply. I just wanted to let you know X\, Y\, and Z.” It can be as simple as that\, and you know\, truly\, it doesn’t have to be perfect or profound. It’s just this simple\, straightforward note of just thinking of you sharing that small sentiment that can make someone’s day\, and just help keep that relationship alive. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and the [00:05:00] great thing about this is it’s small enough to actually do. You know\, we all have three minutes somewhere in our day\, even though it sometimes doesn’t feel like it. So like between meetings while the coffee’s brewing\, you know\, before we log off for the day. and I think you and I talked a little bit about this beforehand\, that we can also make this about one person\, right? \nWe could\, you could even just reach out to one person. You don’t have to make it three. It doesn’t have to be perfect like you said. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. I’m thinking the car line school pickup. There’s lots of places that we can\, you know\, while we’re in the midst of waiting\, not to fill space with more things\, but I think intentional things that we can slot into those waiting spaces can really add up. And really\, the key here is doing it consistently. \nIt becomes part of your rhythm. And whether it’s three people a day or one person a day\, kind of the cool math here is that if you do the three people a day\, it adds up to over a thousand [00:06:00] connections and touch points for that year. And you know\, not every one of those will lead to something big\, but together collectively\, it forms a web of trust and generosity that strengthens both your personal and your professional relationships. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And it’s not just about the other person\, right? So reaching out like this keeps you in a mindset of appreciation. I would say it reminds you that connection is everywhere\, and it takes just that small little spark to keep it alive. And the more you’re reminding yourself that this is something that’s really important to do\, the more you’re going to notice those moments that you can write about\, or that you can reach out to a person about. \nCORAL OWEN: I think that’s such a really\, that’s a beautiful reflection too\, and that is the beauty of it. You’re not just building your network. You’re building your capacity for gratitude\, for empathy\, for presence and just absolute generosity in showing up for\, yeah\, for the people that you are connected with. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So that’s the practice for this episode. Planting [00:07:00] seeds\, the three minute connection practice. Every day\, set aside three minutes to reach out to three people. No agenda\, just appreciation and connection. You can even tell them\, “No need to get back to me.” \nCORAL OWEN: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And just as a fun bonus\, if you would like to take this a little bit of a step further and really set the habit\, we’ve created a fun\, bonus 30 x 3 challenge. It’s a 30 day tracker to help you get and then keep this habit going. \nAnd it’s just a fun way to visualize the connections that you’re building\, and sort of see your “Garden of Outreach” grow over the month. And we’re going to link a printable version in the show notes for your reference. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks so much for joining us for this episode of Practicing Connection. If you found it helpful\, share with a friend or colleague who might enjoy a simple way to nurture their relationships. \nWe’ll be back next week with another practice. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:08:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/planting-seeds-3-minute-connections-that-transform-your-relationships/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/adobestock_1067931833-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251023T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251023T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251023T100013Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251208T164350Z
UID:10001638-1761199200-1761238800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Cultivating an Engaged Attitude
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODAyNDgzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgwMjQ4MzQtY3VsdGl2YXRpbmctYW4tZW5nYWdlZC1hdHRpdHVkZS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4MDI0ODM0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 43) \nHow do teams build real momentum and commitment together?  \nDiscover how small shifts – like rotating leadership and showing authentic presence – can spark engagement and creativity in group projects. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica take a real-life approach to cultivating an engaged attitude – essential for building commitment and making group projects thrive. \nThey explore the power of rotating ownership in meetings\, why engagement ebbs and flows for everyone\, and how showing up – whether as a leader or a supporter – fuels stronger teams. \nJessica shares practical strategies to move beyond autopilot\, including rotating facilitation\, intentional participation\, and appreciation. \nTogether\, they reveal how engagement is built day by day\, with honest effort\, small shifts\, and shared leadership. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. Today we’ll be talking about cultivating an engaged attitude. It’s a key to building commitment and advancing group projects\, and Jessica is going to be sharing a practice with us. \nJessica\, how’s your week going? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey Coral. I’m doing pretty well this week. You know\, as I started to think about this topic\, I realized that most of the time I stay on track and maintain good momentum. Kind of chugging along. \nBut like anyone\, there are times when I just don’t feel as engaged\, or I get distracted or I notice that I am participating mostly because it’s what’s expected in that moment. \nI have a feeling that those moments happen for a lot of people\, maybe everyone. And it’s just kind of part of the normal rhythm of work. But I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot this week as I’ve been preparing for this. \nCORAL OWEN: I really\, as always\, appreciate you [00:01:00] sharing that. I think everyone cycles between\, you know\, various levels of focus and autopilot\, and it actually really makes me appreciate those moments when something shifts\, either for myself or someone else\, and suddenly we’re all a little bit more invested again. \nRight? So maybe this is actually kind of one of the more honest ways to begin this conversation about engaged attitudes today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: By not claiming that we’re engaged all the time. \nCORAL OWEN: All the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: No. Exactly. I think that part of cultivating an engaged attitude means noticing those moments and kind of getting a little curious about what helps us reconnect\, or even just admitting that\, “Today I’m here because I should be\,” which I know we just talked about this\, right. \nDon’t do things just because you should. But just showing up is okay sometimes\, especially if you notice that like\, “You know what\, today I’m just showing up.” So sometimes starting there is the most authentic choice we can make. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And as [00:02:00] always\, we do love to extend the invite to you all our listeners to let us know what’s inspiring you. So you can always drop us a note via email at Practicing connection@oneop.org\, we do see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you this week. \n– break – \nAll right. That honesty gives us such a great starting point for today’s conversation. Jess\, let’s learn a little bit more about cultivating an engaged attitude\, and can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’re gonna be sharing today\, and why you chose it specifically? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, of course. I really wanted to focus on rotating ownership today. Rotating roles more specifically in meetings rather than just kind of asking everyone to be engaged\, and giving tips on how to do that. Although I do have a few tips on that because I’ve noticed that when the groups I’ve worked with switch up who takes the lead\, so whether that’s running a meeting\, guiding a [00:03:00] discussion\, sharing observations and feedback\, running different parts of a project\, it’s a really small but powerful way to get everyone involved at different times. \nAnd so teams with shared leadership roles can see more commitment and more creativity and stronger group bonds because the work isn’t just falling on a few people. \nYou know\, it kind of gives each person a real stake in the group’s progress. And as I’ve noticed myself sometimes\, stepping up or supporting someone else as they step up\, which I think is really important sometimes \,just stepping up or supporting someone is exactly what helps you move out of autopilot and kind of back into engagement. \nAnd like we talked about in the opening\, there are days when you’re not leading and it would be easy to tune out. But in those moments\, engagement might mean\, well\, it might mean showing up\, right? We have those days\, but it might mean also [00:04:00] paying closer attention. Asking a question\, giving genuine shout out to someone who’s trying something new\, or just supporting the person taking on a leadership role by trusting their process and participating fully in it. \nSo rotating ownership I think can help everyone reconnect\, whether you’re upfront or in a support role. \nCORAL OWEN: I love this idea of this practice. So how to actually go about it. Jess\, could you walk us through how a team might try this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. So\, this is two steps with a third optional step. The first step is to actually rotate leadership. So you could rotate leadership for parts of a project\, for meetings\, or even for individual meeting agenda items or roles. But let’s focus on a standing meeting. The easiest way to do this is to set up a schedule and rotate the meeting facilitation\, even if it’s just for a 15 minute standing meeting. \nThe meeting facilitator’s job is going to be to ensure [00:05:00] that you connect to the meeting’s purpose and guide the agenda. Basically\, the meeting facilitator would engage fully with the why and the how of the meeting. Even if all you do is rotate who the meeting facilitator is for your meetings\, it has the potential of having really big benefits. \nAnd a couple of tips: if it’s your turn to be the leader\, you might consider preparing a discussion point\, a reflection prompt\, or just simply checking in with the group on something meaningful. Or\, you might consider asking for feedback. Inviting the quiet voices\, right? That’s a tip for facilitation. \nIf there’s always one or two people who are speaking up\, make sure those who aren’t speaking up as much have some space too\, and make sure to model openness so you could ask others and you could share yourself. “What are your hopes about this project?’ Or\, “What could make our work together smoother?” \nOkay. Step one is really just the rotating leadership. Step two\,. [00:06:00] if it’s not your turn to be the leader\, you’re going to practice presence. If you aren’t leading or facilitating\, you still have ownership over your presence. Again\, sometimes we recognize sometimes just showing up is all you can give that day. \nBut most of the time you’re going to be able to challenge yourself to bring two unique things. First\, maybe a question or reflection. So this means asking an honest question\, sharing maybe a brief observation or appreciation presenting a creative solution or voicing a hope for the team’s process\, even if it’s really tiny. \nAnd then the second thing that you could challenge yourself to bring is genuine appreciation\, right? So this means that you could actively watch and listen for opportunities to celebrate wins\, or share appreciation for something a team member did or said during the meeting or in their recent work. \nAnd if you’re stuck on that\, if you’re like\, “I didn’t hear anything\,” you could start by [00:07:00] acknowledging the person leading\, right? So\, “Thanks for guiding us through this\,” or\, you know\, “I like the angle that you’re bringing\,” or\, “I enjoyed the way you facilitated the reflection.” Whatever that is\, that’s where you could start. \nSo\, challenge yourself to either ask a question or a reflection\, and share a genuine appreciation\, or do both of those things for a bonus. So this step is really about pushing yourself gently to kind of move from passive to present. Sometimes all it takes is a thoughtful comment or a gesture of support to be engaged\, and what those two things are doing\, the rotating of the facilitation role in a meeting and the others who are not facilitating or leading the meeting making a point to be engaged in one of those two ways. It’s really helping to build a culture\, a team\, or a group culture that is engaged. \nOkay\, step three is the optional step. I think it could be really powerful [00:08:00] if you choose to do this\, but I know that not all teams like this would not be something that you would have the time to do always. But if you can do it\, I think it would be awesome. \nSo at the end of the meeting\, take a moment or think through this yourself. How did it feel to lead or to intentionally support the leader? You guys can discuss this\, or you could just think about that. “So how did it feel to lead or to intentionally support the leader?” Did rotating roles nudge you out of autopilot even briefly\, and maybe what new perspectives or creative ideas surface? Did anyone seem more present? \nIt’s okay if engagement doesn’t look or feel dramatic\, just being a little more present\, a little more open can bring momentum over time. \nCORAL OWEN: I just love this\, Jess\, and it really is so flexible depending on what sort of structure and culture your team has. [00:09:00] There’s something that I think every person can take away from this. And it also reminds me of what you shared at the top of today’s episode about sometimes just chugging along until you’re pulled into action. \nThe rotating roles and even just the act of noticing and participation. It just means everyone has moments to be seen. Step up\, even if it looks different each time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and you know\, because it looks a little different every time\, some really rich discussions and ideas can come out of it that maybe wouldn’t have happened otherwise. \nCORAL OWEN: 100%. So first off\, I do want to say just thank you so much for sharing today’s practice\, and we want to thank all our listeners for joining us for today’s episode as well. If you did enjoy today’s episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. \nBe sure to tune back in next week. We’ll have a new episode and a new practice for you. And until then\, you know what it is – keep practicing. \n[00:10:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/cultivating-an-engaged-attitude/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/5-3-e1770154569908.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251016T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251016T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251016T100058Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251016T215409Z
UID:10001637-1760594400-1760634000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Shifting from “Should” to “Get To” for Renewed Energy at Work
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzk5NTQzOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5OTU0Mzgtc2hpZnRpbmctZnJvbS1zaG91bGQtdG8tZ2V0LXRvLWZvci1yZW5ld2VkLWVuZXJneS1hdC13b3JrLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc5OTU0MzglMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 42) \nWhat powers you at work: pressure or purpose? This episode gives you one simple language hack to turn daily obligations into energizing opportunities. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral explore the powerful impact of language on motivation and energy at work. \nBuilding on last episode’s Motivation Mapping\, they introduce the “Should-to-Get To” reframe – a simple\, real-time habit that helps replace pressure and obligation with purpose and appreciation. \nCoral shares practical steps to notice “should” statements\, reframe them\, and align daily tasks with intrinsic motivators like growth and service. \nListeners can expect: \n\nactionable advice\nthoughtful reflection questions\, and\nreal-world examples of how language shapes our experience and energizes our workday.\n\nLinks\n\n“Should To-Get To” Worksheet.pdf\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about motivation again\, and specifically how the language we use can either drain us or energize us. We’re exploring how shifting from “I should” to\, “I get to” can change the way we approach our professional roles. \nHey Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, Jessica. I’m doing really well\, thanks. I’m quite excited about this conversation today because it builds on the practice we shared\, I think a couple episodes ago\, about motivation mapping\, and that practice helps us step back and see whether we’re being fueled more by extrinsic motivators like deadlines\, or recognition\, or intrinsic motivators like purpose\, values and things of that nature. \nThe practice we’re talking about today\, it’s like the quick everyday version of that and helps us notice in the moment when we’re running on [00:01:00] shoulds\, and shift our energy to the get to’s. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I always like to say\, don’t should all over yourself is\, well\, I love that it sounds like motivation mapping is the reflection piece\, and this kind of reframe is the habit that you can carry into your daily life. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, 100%. And it is just a really practical\, real-time way to reconnect with that intrinsic motivator\, and it’s just something that you can have in your hip pocket to access on the fly when you need it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Well\, as always\, we’d love to hear from our listeners. Drop us a note at Practicing connection@oneop.org and let us know how you’ve caught yourself saying I should\, and turned it into\, I get to. \n– break – \nLet’s dig into this should to get to reframe. Coral\, can you walk us through what it looks like as a practice?[00:02:00]\nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So even if it sounds a little cliché\, the words that we use with ourselves\, they truly do matter. And when we say “I should\,” or\, “I have to\,” we’re typically operating out of extrinsic motivation. So external expectations\, pressures\, obligations\, and that language makes these tasks. Or can make these tasks feel heavy and draining. \nAnd when we shift to an\, “I want to\,” or\, “I get to\,” we’re reframing the same task in terms of intrinsic motivation. Things like purpose\, meaning\, or growth. And then suddenly like magic\, the task can feel a little bit lighter\, intentional\, or more connected to our values. \nAnd I do want to say\, I don’t want this to come off as like\, you know\, “Oh\, there’s a silver lining in everything\,” because there are some really heavy things or just sort of mundane\, you know\, root things that we move through on a day to day. \nBut really connecting these back to the benefit and the value and the purpose is really where this practice holds its [00:03:00] power. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. What I’m noticing here\, in what you’re saying\, is that it’s not about pretending\, right? It’s not saying\, “I get to\,” instead of “I have to.” It’s not about pretending just to move through your day. It actually is about trying to connect it back to something that matters to you. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. A hundred percent yes. Thank you for saying that\, Jess. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So\, tell us about the practice. Let’s go through it. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So like I said\, it’s very simple and straightforward. Step one is identifying your shoulds. A great place to start is your to-do list. So\, for instance\, if you’re just getting in touch with this practice at the start of your day\, you can jot down three tasks that are on your to-do list that you’ve been thinking of as shoulds or have tos. \nSo for example\, “I have to answer these emails\,” or\, “I really should prepare for this meeting.” From there\, step two is reframe these shoulds or have to’s with get to\, and you’re going to take each one and rewrite [00:04:00] as I get to\, but tie it back. And this is really the crux of this\, is you’re gonna tie it back to something meaningful\, like one of your key values\, for instance\, or something you enjoy. \nSo a reframe of those two examples from step one would be\, instead of\, “I should answer these emails\,” “I get to support people who are counting on me for my input and expertise.” Instead of\, “I have to prepare for this meeting\,” “I get to help shape decisions and share my expertise and make an impact from there.” \nStep three is just notice a shift\, however slight it may be. So you want to say that reframe vision out loud again. It doesn’t change the task\, but it changes the energy that you’re bringing to it and you’re giving it. \nAnd from there\, step four\, carry it forward. See if you can use this throughout your day and notice when you may catch yourself saying should or have to. \nAnd you know\, just try pausing\, reframing and see how that may change your perspective even in the slightest of [00:05:00] angles. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I really like how simple that is. It makes me think about a time very recently that I had a big deadline for a presentation I was giving. I kept telling myself\, “Okay\, I have to get this done. I have to get this done. I need to work on this.” And it felt really stressful. If I had kind of reframed it as\, “I get to share important information with my colleagues\, or\, “I get to share about my work with my colleagues because I do a lot of work that my colleagues don’t know about.” \nAnd so\, it was really actually an opportunity for me to share what I’m doing with them. I think it would’ve felt more purposeful. And in the end it did feel perfect\, right? I delivered it and it felt great. But leading up to that was stressful. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, like when you can find and tap into that deeper purpose in the process of the doing of the thing\, when we tend to feel the most stress\, rather than just like you’ve arrived at the finish line. And now we’re like seeing the impact and seeing the purpose and connecting in real time [00:06:00] with all of the buildup. \nThat’s exactly it. That task\, that process\, it didn’t change\, but your relationship to it while you’re still\, you know\, feeling the deadline and feeling the heat maybe a little bit. That’s the thing that changes. \nAnd this ties right back to what we talked about with the motivation mapping episode from a couple weeks ago\, is when you’re stuck in this should orientation or should language\, again\, we’re relying on these extrinsic factors like the deadline or meeting someone else’s expectation sort of parameters. \nAnd again\, yes\, it does work in the short term. It keeps things on track\, but it can drain us and our energy. And when we shift to the get to\, we’re reframing it in the lens and in the orientation of intrinsic motivators like our purpose\, our growth\, alignment with values. And that is just such a renewable\, energetic resource. \nAnd it’s what sustains us when things get hard or feel like a little bit of a slog\, and especially or [00:07:00] more long term. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know\, kind of like what we said earlier\, it sounds like the mapping exercise is kind of the bigger picture reflection\, and the should to/get to reframe is the micro practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. These truly compliment each other. The mapping can help you see those patterns from a more macro level\, and the reframing is really that real time practice that can help you. In a manner of just a couple seconds\, stay aligned in the moment and tap back into\, you know\, what truly is the purpose and the sustaining force behind all of the efforts. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, I brought along a couple of questions that our listeners can reflect on as they try the practice. The first one is what’s one should that feels heavy in your work right now? It’s a really great place to start. What feels heavy in your work right now that you’re telling yourself you should do? \nHow could you reframe it into an I get to [00:08:00] that connects with your values? And then finally\, when you make that shift\, what happens to your energy or your sense of motivation? \nCORAL OWEN: I love those questions. Those are so\, again\, just so straightforward. But can really just even in the span of a few minutes\, by pausing on those questions\, it can help shift the entire tone of our day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s the practice for this week. The should to/get to reframe. We’d love to hear what you discover when you try it out. Email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org and share your reflections. \nCORAL OWEN: Also\, if you would like a worksheet to guide this practice\, check out the show notes. We have created a template where you can write your shoulds and reframe them as get to’s. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Thanks for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and send it to a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \n[00:09:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/shifting-from-should-to-get-to-for-renewed-energy-at-work/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251009T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251009T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251009T100145Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165848Z
UID:10001635-1759989600-1760029200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Take Charge: Small Shifts to Grow Your Autonomy
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzk2MzgzOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5NjM4MzgtdGFrZS1jaGFyZ2Utc21hbGwtc2hpZnRzLXRvLWdyb3cteW91ci1hdXRvbm9teS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3OTYzODM4JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 41) \nIf you’ve ever wanted more ownership in your work or home life\, this episode is for you.  \nWe’ll walk through a quick autonomy audit – a simple way to discover and grow your personal agency\, starting today. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica dive into what it means to be a “manager of one” – someone who brings autonomy and ownership to even the smallest daily choices. \nThrough personal stories and research-backed insights\, they break down the Autonomy Audit: a practical\, step-by-step approach for identifying where you can claim just a bit more agency in work\, home\, and life. \nListen in to learn why autonomy matters\, how to spot opportunities for more control\, and ways to experiment with self-management – plus\, an easy challenge you can try this week. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks so much for tuning into the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. Today’s episode is all about completing an autonomy audit\, which is a powerful tool for becoming what I like to call a “manager of one.” \nMy cohost\, Jessica\, is here to guide us. Hey Jess. How are you feeling today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi Coral. I’m alright. It’s been one of those weeks though. I made this really optimistic plan\, and actually every Monday I start out and I’ll take a look at my calendar\, and I’ll block off time. So this week I blocked off time to do the work. I color-coded my calendar because I’m on different projects\, and so it’s easy for me to then\, at a glance\, see how much time I’m spending on each project. \nI did all of that. But the universe had some surprises for me: extra meetings that were unexpected\, last minute tasks\, a couple of tasks that I forgot about that I needed to deal with\, and really it just felt [00:01:00] like the universe was conspiring against me. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh man\, that is so relatable. Yeah. As a toddler mom and just as a general person rolling through life\, it’s very relatable. But I appreciate your honest\, honest reply for that. Always. Oh man. It totally is like\, “Here’s my plan\, and then life throws in a plot twister.” But I mean\, honestly\, just kinda getting back to the root of today’s theme\, that’s kind of what being a manager of one is all about\, right? \nIt’s finding those little places where we can take charge and shift and pivot so that things work with us the best that we can\, even when it kind of feels a little bit chaotic or even a little bit out of control. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And it’s funny too because I started out feeling totally in charge\, and so those plot twists\, while less interesting than some of my favorite television shows\, they’re incredibly real [00:02:00] life. So yeah\, exactly. That’s\, you know\, when things get out of control\, you can get back to that feeling of at least being a little bit back in control. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, one of my favorite things\, kind of on the side\, I like to do triathlons and stuff like that. But one of the best pieces of advice that my college coach ever gave me was\, he would say\, “The plan is written in pencil\, not in pen.” \nAnd so that approach\, it gives you that approach of like\, “Oh\, okay\, we can\, you know\, erase some stuff and kind of shift and pivot but be flexible\, but still\, like the overall progression is still in a forward direction.” \nSo\, yeah. Applicable in all areas of life apparently. And you know\, I know that there are people listening to this episode as well that are already probably going\, “Oh\, yeah. Very relatable.” And we always love to hear what y’all’s strategies are as well. \nAnd so\, if there are ways that you practice autonomy\, or help get a little bit more of an [00:03:00] ownership feel back in certain places in your life that may feel a little bit out of reach sometimes\, we would love to hear about them. You can drop us an email to practicing connection@oneop.org. and we do check and reply to every message. So thanks for sending those our way. \n– break – \nAll right. Before we dive into today’s practice\, Jess\, can you tell us what inspired you? And I know that you already alluded to this a little bit\, but what inspired you to focus on the autonomy audit and how does it relate? And this is kind of a two part question. How does it relate to becoming a manager of one? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I picked this practice because I’m actually most motivated and fulfilled when I have a little bit of freedom. It’s been like this ever since I can remember. So sometimes that means freedom over my schedule. Sometimes it means freedom over how I choose to tackle problem solving\, or how I prioritize [00:04:00] tasks when I feel trusted to make choices. \nI get a little boost of energy. And that’s kind of what the manager of one mindset is about\, recognizing where we can direct our own work\, even in small ways. And there’s some good science behind it too. There’s\, you know\, studies that show that even a little more autonomy increases our motivation\, our wellbeing\, and our creativity. \nThe autonomy audit is a really simple tool to notice and expand your agency. So when things get overwhelming\, it’s easy to feel boxed in or it’s easy to default to autopilot. But if we can pause and ask like\, “Where do I still have some agency?” That’s being a manager of one. Those small moments of ownership can really boost our engagement and satisfaction and help us spring into action. \nAnd modeling this on a team has a ripple effect too\, right? It has a [00:05:00] positive effect on everyone around you. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I’m just reflecting on scenarios\, you know\, working in teams and whatnot\, and where this has cropped up in just notable instances. And it does have that contagious energy\, like in a positive way\, and can help give everybody a boost around you. So I can’t wait to dig into this. And so yeah\, for the practical bit\, can you walk us through step by step how someone might try this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, definitely. If you’re listening and you want to join in\, you can grab a notebook\, or open up your notes app or you could just follow along mentally. \nSo the first step is listing your responsibilities. You might even already have a project list somewhere\, but this is about writing down your main responsibilities. \nSo start with the big picture\, like work\, home\, volunteering or personal projects\, but don’t stop there. Under each of those major headings\, list out a few specific projects or tasks that you’re currently working on. \nFor example\, in the work [00:06:00] category\, maybe you have a client presentation or a regular team meeting and updating a report\, right? Maybe you’ve got those three projects. \nAt home\, it might be planning meals\, organizing the garage\, or helping kids with homework. Breaking it down this way can give you a clearer view of where your autonomy might vary from project to project\, and you can also just look at one of these big buckets of responsibilities\, right? \nYou don’t have to write them all down and put projects under each one of them and do this activity with all of those projects. So you can just take a look at one of those big buckets of responsibilities\, like only look at your work projects or your home projects for this activity. So list your responsibilities. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s such a great point\, and I could see how this could easily kind of get overwhelming. And so I would\, yeah\, just focus on one specific area where you’re maybe feeling a little bit stuck\, or low energy. I think it sounds like a great place to start. \n[00:07:00] So where does it go from there? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yep. So after you’ve listed some areas of responsibility\, then you’re going to go through and rate your autonomy. \nSo to do that\, there’s a set of three questions that you can\, if you want to\, you can journal on them or you can just do a gut check and think about them. \nSo the first question is\, “How much control do I actually have here? \nThe next question is\, “Am I steering or am I mostly following directions?” \nAnd then the third question is\, “Is there an area I wish I had more say or flexibility?” \nAnd after considering those questions\, give each responsibility an autonomy rating\, high\, medium\, or low. You don’t have to spend a lot of time on this. \nLike I said\, you can let your gut be your guide because you can always go back and dig a little [00:08:00] deeper. You’re really looking for how much control you feel like you have right now\, so that you can assess whether there are any immediate wins you can get. \nAnd then the third step is\, choose a responsibility with a medium or low autonomy. And brainstorm ways that you can get a little bit more influence. So\, you could brainstorm a couple of tweaks to boost your sense of ownership for that responsibility. For example\, can you propose a new way of doing the task? Can you switch up your routine for one that you would prefer? Or could you take a low risk action on your own instead of waiting for approval? \nSo pick one tweak and try it this week. I didn’t mean for that to rhyme. Think of it as a micro-experiment afterwards. Then you can notice\, did you feel more engaged\, energized\, or confident? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, like a little bit of a pilot test. I like that. Jess\, do you have [00:09:00] any examples of how you’ve done this in your own personal life? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I do. So prepping for this episode actually got me thinking about a project where I was stuck and I was waiting for feedback that never came. And it was kind of a sticky situation because our team was trying to move forward on something\, and everyone was so busy\, right? And I asked for feedback and it was really difficult to get it. \nSo I actually ended up sketching out my own plan\, and then I shared that with my team. It felt really risky because I like to be more collaborative than that\, right? And in my head\, I was not being collaborative by doing this thing on my own. \nBut actually\, it turned out that it actually got things moving. People had something to react to. They actually appreciated having a starting point. And then they could build on my ideas. And so that’s when I realized that I was actually practicing being a manager of one. So I was [00:10:00] taking that initiative\, not waiting for permission and just making the first move. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a great example\, and there’s so much to be said for creating your own momentum\, it can kind of have like a snowball effect too in a positive direction. I love that example so much. It’s a lot of momentum and confidence\, not just for you\, but also for your team as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. So here’s our challenge: if you’re listening\, try an autonomy audit and take a small intentional step toward becoming a manager of one\, and then notice what shifts for you. \nDo you have a little more energy or engagement\, or maybe a creative spark that kind of came out of nowhere? \nWhether it works perfectly or surprises you\, or it turns into a learning moment\, share your story with us. We’d love to learn from your experience. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, this was a great one for sure. And this is a wrap for today’s episode. \nThanks Jess so much for sharing this practice with us\, and thank you all for joining our conversation today on [00:11:00] becoming a manager of one. \nIf you found value in our conversation today\, please share this episode with a friend\, and we’ll be back next week with something new. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/take-charge-small-shifts-to-grow-your-autonomy/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/AdobeStock_269002913-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251002T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251002T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20251002T100133Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251002T204613Z
UID:10001634-1759392000-1759424400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Motivation Mapping: Leading with Purpose
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzkxMjI3MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5MTIyNzEtbW90aXZhdGlvbi1tYXBwaW5nLWxlYWRpbmctd2l0aC1wdXJwb3NlLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc5MTIyNzElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 40) \nWhen was the last time work truly energized you?  \nToday\, discover how to pinpoint what’s fueling you and learn practical ways to reconnect with your deepest motivators – so your work supports both your goals and your values. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral reveal how you can use the Motivation Mapping tool to transform your work from simply meeting deadlines to leading with energized purpose. \nThrough a reflective\, step-by-step practice\, you’ll learn how to distinguish between intrinsic and extrinsic motivators\, notice your own balance\, and make small shifts that lead to long-term fulfillment and renewed drive. \nWhether leading a team or taking on a new project\, this process helps transform routine into meaning. \nTry Motivation Mapping for a current project: \n\nGrab the Motivation Mapping Worksheet\nIn one sentence\, share an intrinsic motivator that makes the work meaningful to you right now.\nThen\, post one small action you’ll take to better connect this project to your values this week.\n\nShare your insight with our LinkedIn group—let’s celebrate purposeful leadership and inspire each other with new ideas! \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, \nCORAL OWEN: And I am Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And today we’re going to be talking about motivations\, specifically\, how to better understand what fuels us as leaders. And how to align our work with what matters most. Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, I’m doing great Jess. Thank you. This topic has been on my mind a lot recently\, to be quite honest. And so\, you know\, so often in leadership we hit stretches where we feel drained or disconnected and we wonder why. And sometimes it’s because we’re leaning heavily on external motivators\, like deadlines\, recognition\, pressure\, general routine. \nAnd none of these are inherently bad\, by the way\, just as a side note\, but those internal drivers that really sustain us and connect us to the work\, they can kind of get lost in the doing of the thing\, if you will. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Yeah\, that really resonates with me. I’ve noticed that when I’m motivated by things like [00:01:00] learning growth or connection\, I feel energized even when the work is really challenging. But if I’m only driven by a deadline or not trying to let someone down\, I can feel depleted pretty quickly and burned out. \nI mean\, I know depleted kind of means burned out\, but I mean\, burned out\, like I think a step beyond depleted even. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. And this is where today’s practice of motivation mapping comes in. It’s a practice that helps us pause and really take a look at the mix of motivators that are in play. \nAnd so\, extrinsic\, intrinsic\, we’ll get into those in just a second. And once we see sort of how everything is comprised\, we can make small shifts to reconnect with our work with our values\, and strengthen our intrinsic motivation to better sustain our energy. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right. This is very intriguing. Coral\, can you share a little more about what motivation mapping is and why you selected it? \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So motivation mapping is a tool for taking [00:02:00] stock of what’s driving you in a given project or area of responsibility. You can think of it like checking the fuel mix in your tank. \nAre you running mostly on extrinsic motivators\, like external rewards\, deadlines\, recognition\, or are you primarily fueled by intrinsic motivators\, things like purpose\, growth\, alignment\, learning\, like you said\, Jess\, that are really\, centered with your value sets. \nAnd like we just mentioned\, neither type of motivation is inherently better than the other. Extrinsic motivators keep us accountable and on track. But if they’re the only thing driving us\, like you already alluded to\, Jess\, we tend to burn out. \nIntrinsic motivators\, on the other hand\, are renewable. They sustain us through setbacks because the work itself becomes meaningful. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. Yeah\, this is fascinating. I remember reading a book a while back where they talked about one extrinsic motivator\, which was salary\, for example. You know\, an external reward for work done. \nAnd one of the things that they mentioned was [00:03:00] that the research shows that when you get to a certain amount\, that becomes less of a factor and that you need to focus on internal motivators. \nBut what I saw happening with that was people grabbing onto the\, “Oh\, people only need to make this much money\, and then we need to do the internal motivators.” And I think that it’s more nuanced than that. And so I’m excited for this activity. \nCORAL OWEN: So\, yeah\, that’s a wonderful example\, by the way\, Jessica. So here’s how you can try motivation mapping yourself. \nStep one. Pick a focus area. So you’re not going to tackle your entire portfolio\, okay? Just choose one project\, task\, or responsibility that you’re working on right now. \nFor example\, it might be leading a new initiative at work\, preparing a presentation\, bookkeeping\, managing a big transition for your team. \nStep two\, you’re going to list your motivators. You can draw two columns on a page\, one for intrinsic and one for extrinsic. [00:04:00] For the intrinsic column\, write the motivators that come within things like\, “I care about impact\, I’m learning new skills\, this connects with my internal values.” \nThe extrinsic column\, jot down the external drivers. “There’s a deadline. Getting a great salary from this. My team or boss expects us. I’ll be evaluated. People are depending on me.” Things of that nature. \nStep three – there’s only four steps by the way – step three is you’re going to just take notice of the balance. Not judge it. Just notice it. \nSo look at your list and circle of motivators that feel really strong right now. They’re kind of primary ones. Do they fall all in one column? And what does that tell you? This reflection piece about your current experience of this work\, is it primarily externally dominated or internally? \nThen step four\, if you notice that you’re running mostly on extrinsic motivators\, ask yourself\, “How can I reconnect this task with something that feels intrinsically meaningful to me?” \nFor example\, if you’re [00:05:00] writing a report\, mainly because it’s due and that can\, you know\, kind of grind the gears a little bit sometimes\, try reframing it as perhaps a chance to highlight your team’s contributions or clarify a bigger vision\, something along those lines\, and that shift\, it taps into purpose. \nWhich is far more sustaining\, and it really can give us a bigger\, broader context about the impact of what’s going on. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. I really like how practical this is. You know\, sometimes we don’t realize we’re running on fumes until we stop and look at what’s fueling us. And I can attest to this. I often don’t realize that I’m running on fumes until I’m forced to stop and look at what’s fueling me. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. And you know\, for our listeners\, having a few additional reflection questions as you try to map out your motivation may help anger you. So here are a few that we might suggest. \n“When was the last time you truly felt energized in your work? What values were being honored in those moments?” [00:06:00]\nAnother one: “Looking at your current responsibilities\, where are you noticing a potential imbalance in your motivators?” \nAnd then a third to kind of bring this home: “What’s one small way that you can reconnect to your values in that area this week?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, those are awesome prompts. You know\, even taking five minutes to think them through could shift how you approach. I mean\, I think we’re often sharing prompts like this\, these kind of big questions and it feels it could feel really big. \nDon’t let that scare you. Just look at the question and let your mind do the work and just spend a few minutes thinking through them and that could shift how you approach your work. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And again\, this shift doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s not even a fundamental shift of how we’re working. It’s just a matter of shifting perspective\, and even these small reframes can reconnect us to our deeper motivation. \nMaybe instead of\, “I have to get this done\,” you think\, “This is gonna help create a better experience for the people that I’m [00:07:00] serving.” \nAnd that little alignment with values can change the entire energy that you’re bringing to the work and to your day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and you know\, it seems like this is something that leaders could use with their teams too. So like asking your team\, “What’s motivating us about this project?” Or asking a group\, right? \nIf you’re working on a coalition with others\, ask yourselves\, “What’s motivating us about this project?” \nThat could really spark a conversation that helps the people that are involved in that team or that group feel more connected\, and less like they’re just going through the motions or they’re just coming together\, choosing a task\, and then going and doing the task\, right. \nCORAL OWEN: I absolutely love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well. Awesome. Thanks so much Coral for sharing this. \nThat’s it for today’s practice on motivation mapping. We’d love to hear what you discover when you try it. You can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org and share your reflections. \nCORAL OWEN: Also a little bit of a [00:08:00] bonus freebie for this episode. \nIf you would like a worksheet to walk through this practice step by step along with the reflection questions as well\, just check the show notes for this episode and we have a downloadable template that you can use. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks again for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and send it to a colleague or a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a fresh episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/motivation-mapping-leading-with-purpose/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
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DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250925T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250925T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20250925T100041Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T170029Z
UID:10001627-1758787200-1758819600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Scaling Your Skills: Feedback & Mentorship That Works
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg4NDEzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc4ODQxMzQtc2NhbGluZy15b3VyLXNraWxscy1mZWVkYmFjay1tZW50b3JzaGlwLXRoYXQtd29ya3MuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg4NDEzNCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 39) \nFeedback and mentorship aren’t just buzzwords – they’re the shortcuts to better skills\, stronger confidence\, and real momentum.  \nDiscover a simple\, practical approach that makes getting feedback and finding a mentor less intimidating – and highly actionable! \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral dig into the roles of feedback and mentorship in professional growth. Coral shares a step-by-step method that makes seeking input approachable and turns it into real progress. \nLearn how to choose the right people to ask\, reflect on what you hear\, and take small\, sustainable actions. \nPlus\, find out how to invite mentorship into your journey – even if you don’t have a formal mentor. Perfect for anyone who wants to develop new skills\, boost confidence\, and foster authentic connections at work. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about feedback and mentorship for skill growth\, and Coral’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hi Coral. How are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jess. I’m doing well. Yeah\, as I was preparing for this week’s episode\, I was reflecting really heavily on the role that mentorship has played in my own professional experience\, particularly most recently in scaling a business. \nAnd it’s only been after several years of flying solo before I finally realized that I could save myself so much heartache and also have such a greater impact if I had sought support from a mentor\, which is\, you know\, I’m a couple years deep into a very formalized\, coaching and mentorship program\, which is\, it’s been wonderful. But it took me a while to get there and yeah\, I just\, wow\, it’s made such a difference. \nBut it can be tough to ask for that level of support. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah. [00:01:00] I love that perspective. It really does take courage to ask for feedback directly. I’ve been involved in several training and coaching programs\, a big part of the program involved obtaining feedback. And\, you know\, it’s often helped me make changes\, which a lot of people would expect\, right? \nWhen you’re getting feedback\, a lot of people feel like\, “Oh\, well that’s about\, you know\, changing and getting better.” I would say for me\, even more so\, it’s helped me see strengths that I have that I didn’t notice. Other people knew\, other people could see it\, but I didn’t notice them until someone started to point them out to me. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that and that’s such a perspective shift I had as well of help other people who are seeing us doing the thing or cultivating the skill or process\, or whatever it is that we’re looking to elevate and hone\, and they can often see things from\, well\, they are seeing it from a different perspective and helping us lean into the things that we’re strong in. And further hone [00:02:00] those pieces\, help level up the things. \nAnd then\, you know\, maybe shift\, pivot a little bit and we’re actually getting into that today. But\, yeah\, a lot of people just think that they’re\, “Oh\, feedback.” Like\, “I don’t wanna ask people how\, you know – ” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: – “Like I already know\, I’m already\, I’m so hard on myself. I already know how terrible I am. I don’t need anyone else to point it out!” \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. So this is definitely a different framework for perspective that is not just like\, “Hey\, you could really use some work on X\, Y\, and Z.” \nIt’s about that really holistic perspective of receiving feedback or even developing a more formalized mentorship relationship\, if you so desired. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, before we move on\, I’ll just quickly give a little bonus exercise here. One of the best questions that I was asked\, when I was trying to get feedback in one of these programs was\, they told me to ask\, “When I walk into a room\, what shows up when I do?” And people gave me feedback on that\, and that was pretty interesting. \n[00:03:00] It was pretty cool. But let’s learn more about feedback and mentorship for skill growth\, Coral. Tell us a little bit about the practice that you’re going to be sharing today and why you chose it. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. So\, much of professional development really happens outside of these formal trainings and courses and conferences that we\, you know\, do attend from time to time. But once you decide that\, you want to keep growing a skill or seeking it out and cultivating\, that the real work is in weaving it into your day to day\, not just in that\, you know\, kind of finite space that we’re learning about it or you know\, kind of developing that brain awareness of it. \nAnd so feedback and mentorship are two of the most effective ways to do that. They give us outside perspective\, accountability\, encouragement. But also as we already noted\, asking for feedback or arranging mentorship\, it can feel intimidating. It can also\, could just feel like\, I hate to say that like a burden\, you know\, just kind of a heavier load to add to both our plate\, but also to ask someone else who already is so busy [00:04:00] to take on that\, level of guidance and mentorship. \nAnd so I wanted to share a really simple structured practice that makes it very attainable\, very easy to access\, and hopefully just something that is a very\, approachable way to go about this. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well that sounds super useful. Let’s walk through the practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Sure thing. So here’s a practice that you can try next time. You want to develop a skill more deeply in your place or professional space. The first step is of course\, choosing the right person. So think about someone who you have seen applying the skill\, or who interacts with you in the context where you’re trying to grow. \nAnd it doesn’t have to be a supervisor. It can be a peer\, a colleague\, even someone that you support. And sometimes the end user perspective is actually the most helpful. So from there\, once you’ve settled on this person\, step two is\, or perhaps a little bit in tandem\, using a simple framework in asking for feedback and one that I have leveraged in the past. \n[00:05:00] Jess\, I think\, you know\, in kind of our pre-show conversation\, you mentioned that you’ve used this before\, with a slightly different spin. I’ve come to call it start\, stop\, continue. Here’s how it works. Just very straightforward. So this is asking\, “What’s something new that I could start doing that would help me use the skill more effectively\,” or something of the sort\, right. \nNumber two here\, stop. You can ask what is\, and this is\, you know\, the question that you’re asking of this person who is helping you along in this process\, you can ask them\, “What is one thing I’m doing right now that might be getting in the way of progress?” \nAnd then thirdly\, continue to ask\, “What am I already doing well that I should keep doing?” \nSo the reason I love this framework so specifically is that it makes feedback concrete and balanced. And you’re not just hearing what needs fixing\, you’re also hearing what’s already working\, which is really important for motivation\, but also just for that holistic [00:06:00] perspective like we talked about. \nAll right\, so step three is reflecting and acting. Once you’ve gathered this feedback and had that input from your mentor\, from your experience: write it down\, look for patterns\, and then choose one small doable action to try straight away. we actually talked about this in our prior episode last week about those just like bite-sized nugget actions that you can do\, rather than trying to\, you know\, just change everything straight away\, just choose one thing in a very specific context and just try that in a very\, minute sense. \nDon’t try to change everything at once. It can get a little overwhelming sometimes. So that’s just the very ground floor asking for feedback\, and it can be\, you know\, multiple times over\, or kind of a continuing sequence. \nIt can also just be a one-off\, like\, “Hey\, you know\, can we watch me do this thing\, and let me know what should I start doing? What should I stop and what should I continue?” \nIf you have something [00:07:00] that is a little bit meatier in nature\, or that may take more continual progress\, you know\, more of a long term\, you may want to explore mentorship\, and a mentor does not have to be a formal role. It can be someone who’s a step or two ahead of you and the skill you’re developing. And when you’re reaching out you might say\, “I’m working on developing this skill and I really admire how you approach it. Would you be open to occasional check-ins or giving some advice as I keep practicing?” \nAnd by and large most people will simply be flattered that you asked and oftentimes are happy to share their experience. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean\, like you said\, Coral\, in our pre-conversation\, before we started recording\, I love the start\, stop\, continue framework. I’ve used it with groups in a totally different angle. It really does though in this context\, it makes feedback less overwhelming for both the person asking and the person giving it. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent it\, it just lowers the [00:08:00] barrier\, right? And so instead of\, “Hey\, can you give me some feedback?”\, that can feel really huge both to you and to the person that you are liaising with. And instead being very specific and giving three small buckets that that person who’s advising or supporting you can fill\, just\, yeah\, it’s a lot more straightforward and specific and just clear. \nThere’s clarity around it. And the mentorship element\, if you choose to dig in a little bit deeper\, it builds on that and you can still continue using that start\, stop\, continue framework. And it just gives you that ongoing perspective and encouragement as you integrate your new skill into your daily work. \nContinue to hone whatever practice it is that you’re cultivating and leveling up what you’re doing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, that is it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to send it to a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:09:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/scaling-your-skills-feedback-mentorship-that-works/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/12957118165_e0a5b1251d_k.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250918T060100
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250918T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T052146
CREATED:20250918T100124Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250929T140117Z
UID:10001625-1758175260-1758214800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Don't Keep It to Yourself! Creating a Culture of Shared Learning
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg1NTg3NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc4NTU4NzUtZG9uLXQta2VlcC1pdC10by15b3Vyc2VsZi1jcmVhdGluZy1hLWN1bHR1cmUtb2Ytc2hhcmVkLWxlYXJuaW5nLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc4NTU4NzUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 38) \nWhat if the fastest way to master any skill was to teach it to someone else?  \nThis episode reveals how sharing your learning not only helps others – it solidifies your own growth\, strengthens your team\, and can transform your workplace culture. \nAre you holding on to valuable insights\, or passing them along? In this special round-up episode\, Jessica and Coral explore why teaching others is the secret weapon for growth. \nInstead of just one practice\, you’ll get a toolkit of real-world ways to share what you’re learning\, from quick tips to full team huddles. \nListen in to discover how knowledge sharing deepens your understanding\, boosts your confidence\, and creates a ripple effect far beyond your own desk. \nWhether you’re a seasoned leader or just starting out\, you’ll walk away ready to build a culture of curiosity\, generosity\, and ongoing development. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to this episode of Practicing Connection. I am Coral and I’m here with my co-host\, Jessica\, and today we’re diving into something a little different\, but super essential\, which is how to share what you’ve learned with others. Hey\, Jessica\, how’s your week going? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m good. Honestly\, this theme has been on my mind a lot. There’s something about wrapping up a learning journey and then turning around to share it that just feels right to me. But I also work in the education field\, so I guess that makes sense. I might be a little biased. \nCORAL OWEN: That does track. I love that though\, yeah. Any personal stories or moments from this week where you just found yourself wanting to shout\, like\, “I learned this\, everyone needs to know!”? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. As a matter of fact I’m in a systems thinking class right now\, and we have been talking about VMCL\, which stands for Vision\, Mission\, Capacities and Learning. I just finished the [00:01:00] portion that discusses developing your learning systems\, these are the systems of feedback that you set up to continually learn from. \nAnd the systems you set up so that your team can make the most of their professional development by sharing what they learn with others on the team. So\, super relevant to today’s topics\, and I do feel like I have to note that the class and the podcast converging at the same time was not planned. \nCORAL OWEN: But a very happy accident\, I think\, as Bob Ross would say. But yeah\, V-M-C-L\, that’s a new one for me. But I am so excited to dig into this more. And it is such a nice feeling when things align like that\, isn’t it? \nSo I know in previous episodes we typically zero in on like one practice specifically for our listeners to try\, but I was thinking maybe we shake things up a little bit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and there’s actually a pretty fascinating reason behind it. Studies show that when you teach others\, you [00:02:00] invest more effort\, you spend more time on the material and you achieve better outcomes\, even if your student is just a digital teachable agent. It’s called a protege effect. And this protege effect happens because teaching requires you to organize your thoughts to identify gaps and to explain ideas clearly\, which deepens your own understanding and memory. \nAnd I have to say\, I went down just the tiniest rabbit holes that I’m gonna bring up here right now. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that term\, “Those who can’t\, teach.” Have you heard that before? \nCORAL OWEN:Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It’s pretty derogatory and it’s really not helpful. And frankly\, it’s not even the original phrase that came from Aristotle. Aristotle said\, “Those who can\, do\, and those who understand\, teach.” \nCORAL OWEN: Oh. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And so it kind of\, yeah\, during I forget which play\, but during like a play\, they kind of messed with the [00:03:00] language a little bit. \nAnd it ended up turning into this long-term derogatory thing that we say basically\, “People who teach\, they teach because they can’t actually do the work.” And that’s not true at all. Teachers have to both be able to do it and they have to be able to stay on top of everything and understand. \nSo anyway\, this is why the protege effect works. It’s not just about mastering the content either. So reviews of decades of research show that regular knowledge sharing among employees leads to greater innovation\, to better team performance and stronger collaboration. So when knowledge sharing is part of your group’s routine\, it helps you grow\, adapt\, and succeed\, especially in times of change. \nBut here’s the thing\, most effective sharing doesn’t just happen one way. So research also shows that combining different types of knowledge sharing\, like mini workshops\, quick writeups emails\, peer coaching and more [00:04:00] actually builds a much richer culture of learning. \nThat’s why we’ve put together a roundup of practices today\, and I think we’ve done this a couple times in the last month and it’s been kind of fun. \nCORAL OWEN: It really has been. And it’s kind of like a smorgasbord or charcuterie of strategies. You can just take what works and\, you know\, try and iterate as you go through some different strategies. So\, yeah\, let’s do it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think you just invented something\, a “Charcuterie of ideas” instead of a smorgasbord. I love it. \nCORAL OWEN: I’ll take credit. I’ll take full credit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, please do. Okay. So the first practice that we pulled together is hosting a mini workshop or a “lunch and learn.”  \nIn my organization\, during the pandemic\, we actually did these learning popups where if you had knowledge to share\, you would just send everyone an email and say\, “Hey\, if you can make it great\, but I’m gonna do it this time\, this day\, and we’ll record it in case you can’t make it.” \nBut [00:05:00] whatever way works for you. This doesn’t need to be anything fancy. Just carve out 20 minutes\, 30 minutes to show your team what you’ve learned. Use a practical example and invite questions. Making it interactive actually will boost both your team’s retention and your own. \nCORAL OWEN: I just\, I love that idea of like a popup workshop or\, you know\, just something like\, “Oh\, hey\, I learned this thing\,” and just harnessing that energy and that excitement and then passing it along. You know\, I think too\, sometimes we kind of overcomplicate this idea of a workshop. Like it has to be this full blown training\, complete with slides and handouts and\, you know\, all of these knowledge checkpoints. \nAnd really just like you said\, even 15 or 20 minutes can be so useful to spark some great conversation and brainstorming\, even innovation. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And you can use slides if you want to\, especially if it helps you get your point across. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Whatever works for you. But let’s move on to the next one. So this next one is\, create bite-sized training resources. [00:06:00] So you could record a short video on a new tool that you’ve learned. You could write a quick how-to with or without screenshots\, whatever your preference. \nIt’s your resource. Or you could make a checklist to share in your team chat\, or if you’ve got a team wiki or you know\, some other space where you typically share things like that. This approach caters to different learning styles. So some people might prefer the checklist or they might prefer a video\, but it also caters to your own style of wanting to share information. \nSo\, catering to different learning styles is another element that is kind of found to increase knowledge\, retention\, and sharing at work. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I personally trend towards the videos. Screen capture with some of the voiceovers. But I love that there are so many formats\, especially leveraging different types of technologies these days for quick gathers of information with a little bit of an additive narration or whatever\, that make it so [00:07:00] easy to distribute and capture knowledge\, and share it along with people who may benefit from it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean\, I would say an incredible example of this is when you created a training video for me on how to post these podcast episodes to our WordPress page\, and I think it’s silent. And if it isn’t silent then\, you know\, I never heard the sound. But even when it was silent\, like I could see\, you know\, the mouse was circling a certain thing and clicking on it. \nAnd I still use that sometimes to remember if I miss something\, right? I don’t want to miss something. It was perfect. And then you posted it in a shared space and it’s an easy shared folder\, it was easy to find. \nSo\, let’s move on to the next one. This is another favorite of mine. Try doing one-on-one peer coaching. \nShowing a colleague firsthand how you’re using a new process or a new skill can really spark change and the peer tutoring effect actually boosts your own mastery as well. \nCORAL OWEN: Agreed. Jess\, this is actually one of my favorites as well\, and I’ve [00:08:00] noticed that when I take time to walk someone through a process\, I almost always catch myself noticing opportunities to elevate how something flows or help it work more smoothly. And teaching never fails to sharpen my own skills as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Alright\, next up\, if you love writing\, this is for you. \nYou can create and send a tips-and-tricks email or a mini newsletter to your colleagues\, or to whoever you’re trying to teach what you’re learning to. You could sum up your top learning points and how it’s helped you. This really makes the knowledge easily accessible and it creates a record for your team to refer back to and for you to refer back to. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I think there are\, this was\, you know\, probably eight\, ten years ago when I first started a particular professional track in my life. There were a number of blogs that I would refer to about\, you know\, educational technology and learning so much from those just widely available resources. \nBut having [00:09:00] that sort of personal knowledge database to you to track your own journey\, which is something that we talked about in our previous episode. It’s really cool to see those skills develop as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I would say too\, if you do this one\, you could easily then turn it into I think the second practice we shared\, the creating bite-sized training resources. Like you could repurpose it too and vice versa\, right. \nSo next up we have team huddles and book clubs. I love this option. Team huddles or book clubs can offer a regular space for everyone to share what’s working for them. \nSo having these structured opportunities for exchange is linked to more resilient and innovative teams. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, this is something that I’ve actually done with colleagues throughout the years\, especially the book clubs. And initially some people were like\, “Oh\, I don’t have time every week to do this.” But sometimes it would kind of be like you said\, popup trainings. It would be kind of like a popup book club. \nLike if there was a particular book that a [00:10:00] few folks were interested in\, it’s like\, “Hey\, well let’s just do a popup book club for\, you know\, a particular four or six weeks\,” and then maybe it’d be dormant for a little while until the next quarter\, and then we kind of pop it back up or breathe more life into something else. \nBut yeah it’s just so fun when it’s sort of baked into the way that you work. And there is sort of that culture shift as well of\, you don’t have to overthink it\, it just becomes part of what you do. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. All right\, last one. Invite a teammate to shadow you as you try a new skill\, or run a live demo so others can see it in action. Interactivity like this\, including observation and hands-on trial\, is shown to significantly improve retention and understanding. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Things a hundred percent stick way better when we’re able to see them and experience them firsthand. You’re so right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so that’s why we did a roundup this time because the research is pretty clear that when sharing is varied\, [00:11:00] when you can employ more than one option when it’s regular and part of daily life\, everyone\, including the person doing the sharing\, learns more. They feel more confident\, and it contributes to a stronger\, more adaptable team. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. Yep. And you heard it here. So I would love to\, I know that we’ve got our mailbag open so we would love to hear if y’all try out some of these practices or combine a few\, and see what works. \nPlease share with us what’s working. Jess\, what is the best way for everybody to get in touch with us? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so share your stories\, your struggles\, your wins at practicing connection@oneop.org\, and maybe we’ll feature them on a future episode. \nUntil next time\, keep learning\, sharing\, growing\, and of course\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/dont-keep-it-to-yourself-creating-a-culture-of-shared-learning/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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