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SUMMARY:7 Small Practices for Better Conversations
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODI1OTU1NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgyNTk1NTUtNy1zbWFsbC1wcmFjdGljZXMtZm9yLWJldHRlci1jb252ZXJzYXRpb25zLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgyNTk1NTUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 48) \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica explore empathetic listening: what it is\, why it matters\, and how a few simple shifts in how you listen can deepen your relationships and improve how you work with others. \nThis practicast explores empathetic listening as a practical communication skill. We compare empathetic listening with familiar active listening techniques\, share personal experiences of when basic reflection felt flat or even patronizing\, and then walk through a concrete\, seven-step process you can try in everyday conversations. \nDrawing on communication research and Jessica’s own practice\, the episode highlights how noticing emotions\, staying present\, and checking your understanding can reduce misunderstandings and support stronger\, more collaborative relationships at work and at home. \nLinks\n\nSubscribe to our newsletter: https://oneop.aweb.page/practicing-connection-newsletter\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Actively listening with empathy can help us build emotionally supportive environments\, nurture authentic relationships\, and enhance collaboration and teamwork. \nHey everyone\, welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection practicast. I’m Coral. Today we’re sharing the practice of empathetic listening\, which is an approach that builds deeper connections by bringing empathy to our conversations. My co-host\, Jessica\, is going to walk us through a small collection of practices here in a bit. \nFirst\, let’s talk about what makes empathetic listening unique. So\, Jess\, over the years\, we’ve come across a lot of different listening practices. What makes empathetic listening stand out from other ones? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’m gonna answer that by talking about a different way of listening: active listening\, which is I think what we hear about the most. That’s the skill that most people are familiar with. Active listening means doing the work to really listen to someone’s words and checking with them that you understood the words often by paraphrasing or summarizing what they’ve just said.[00:01:00]\nBut for me\, active listening sometimes felt a little bit limited. I’ve been on the receiving end\, and I think most of us have\, and sometimes it actually even felt a little bit patronizing. Like the person was just repeating my words\, but not really connecting to me or connecting to how I felt. I sometimes didn’t actually even feel heard. \nSo that’s actually what first drew me to the idea of empathetic listening when I first learned about it. If active listening is about repeating content and understanding the words\, empathetic listening is about reflecting the feelings underneath those words. So really seeking to understand someone’s inner world. \nFor example\, active listening often sounds like\, “What I hear you saying is…\,” and then there’s a bit of a rephrasing of the person’s words. And empathetic listening could begin with\, “It sounds like that was frustrating\,” or\, “You sound really excited about that.” \n[00:02:00] So\, one way I’ve seen it framed is that empathetic listening asks us to listen with our heart and mind\, not just our ears and eyes. It’s a step beyond listening to a reply. Empathetic listening really is about listening to truly understand. \nAnd I really want to make a note here that I’m not saying that active listening is not good\, and that empathetic listening is always superior. I’ve really come to actually appreciate active listening as a kind of almost beginner skill that leads toward these deeper levels of listening. So\, you know\, even if it’s basic\, it shows you’re committed to hearing someone. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, that really rings true for me too. Like sometimes just restating the words\, it doesn’t quite go far enough. Especially if we’re dealing with really strong feelings. And I think the next question is\, what exactly is empathy? We talk about it a lot\, but let’s just maybe get a common ground understanding of what that actually means. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that’s a really good question. I’ve seen empathy [00:03:00] described as a skill\, a choice\, and even a quality. But the good news is that anyone can show and practice empathy. So it doesn’t have to be a quality that you naturally possess or anything like that\, but for some people it might come a little bit more naturally to exhibit empathy. \nAnd for others it might take just a little bit more intention. Whether you’re somebody where it feels like it comes a little bit more naturally\, or whether it takes a little more intention and attention\, that’s perfectly fine. \nIn communication research\, empathy is usually broken into two types: Affective empathy\, which is the feelings that we experience in response to another person’s emotions\, and Cognitive empathy\, which is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotions. \nAnd empathy is really powerful. Research shows that groups who practice empathy are more supportive\, they communicate better\, and they’re able to work through challenges more effectively. \nAnd interestingly\, empathy is also contagious. [00:04:00] If it’s encouraged in a group or if it’s displayed in a group\, more of the others on the team will display it. I actually didn’t know this\, which is kind of funny because I teach on emotional intelligence\, I really only learned about this when preparing for this episode. \nBut it really does make sense because in emotional intelligence\, we talk about emotional resonance and how our emotions can catch on with those around us. So if we’re all showing a little empathy\, it makes sense that it would grow. \nCORAL OWEN: I didn’t know that either\, so that’s really fascinating. But it really does make sense. And\, okay\, so my next question is\, what are the benefits if we put empathetic listening into practice? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. That’s a great question because empathetic listening is about demonstrating a real willingness to understand. One of the biggest benefits is that it helps us bridge misunderstandings and work through conflicts. It also deepens relationships. \nThink about the [00:05:00] experience of someone really getting you. They check in to confirm if they’re understanding your feelings\, not just your words. If someone was doing that\, if someone was checking in to confirm if they’re understanding the emotion behind the words\, wouldn’t you be more likely to open up or maybe ask about their experience as well? \nSo they’re really seeing you. You might be more likely to say\, “Well\, tell me about\, have you ever experienced this in workplaces?” \nSo let’s get down to\, you know\, what we’re really here to talk about\, right\, in workplaces. Empathetic listening creates conditions where teams can work together more smoothly and communicate openly\, because people know their perspectives are genuinely going to be considered. \nAn important part of this too is that as humans\, we often come into conversations with our own agendas or emotions. We want to be heard\, we want to offer advice\, we want to connect. And empathetic listening helps us pause those [00:06:00] impulses and just be in the conversation\, focusing fully on the other person or people\, and the connection between us. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really\, really helpful way to look at it. So now that we’ve unpacked all of that\, could you walk us through how empathetic listening actually works\, step by step? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, of course. So you could think of this as a process or a collection of many practices. Any of these could be practiced on their own or in some sort of succession. So I’ll give you kind of the order that I think they build on each other. But again\, each one of these could be practiced just on their own. \nSo start by reflecting on your patterns\, right? You might even be able to reflect on this as I’m speaking right now: notice how you usually listen. Are you eager to jump in\, share your story or offer solutions right away? Or do you find yourself getting distracted? Or tuning out until something feels [00:07:00] more personally relevant to you? \nHow you listen or how you can tap into knowing how you listen. Think about that. Then ask yourself about your needs or your fears. Is the reason you engage in the listening patterns that you engage in\, because you’re listening to fix\, connect or guide the conversation\, do you have concerns about not being heard\, or do you have concerns about being judged? And maybe that’s why you have the patterns of communication that you have. \nThe third thing is to adopt a learning mindset. This is really about remembering that everyone that you talk to is the expert in their own life\, right? \nSo when someone shares a story about themselves with you\, treat that as a gift and accept it as their true experience. Your job is not to question whether what they’re telling you is right or not. Your job is to get curious about what they’re telling you. \nOkay. Fourth thing is to practice presence. [00:08:00] And this is about paying attention in the moment by putting away devices\, gently bringing your focus back to the speaker. It is really natural. I want to be clear about this. It’s natural for our mind to wander\, but keep returning to the person that you’re in the conversation with or the people that you’re in the conversation with. \nAnd the fifth thing is listen for more than words. Notice body language. Notice energy shifts\, facial expressions or changes in tone. These give clues to the feelings that are beneath the surface\, so that you can comment\, and notice them. And then the sixth thing is to get curious\, what might be driving their words\, which values\, which concerns or experiences might be at play. \n“It sounds like you were very excited about that\,” or\, ‘Wow\, I’m really hearing that you value your family a lot.” So being able to notice those things is really powerful\, [00:09:00] and then ask questions that invite them to share more. “Can you tell me more about that?” “Wow\, it sounds like you really valued your family in that moment.” “Can you tell me more about why you did what you did?” \nYou know\, those kinds of examples really illustrate that ‘getting curious’ piece and lastly\, reflect back those feelings. So say things like\, “It sounds like that was really overwhelming. Did I get that right? Was that overwhelming for you?” \nIf they clarify\, “Actually\, I was more anxious than frustrated or overwhelmed\,” well\, that’s helpful. So be curious about that new feeling\, you know\, and have them tell you a little more about that. \nSo\, I know it was seven mini practices and we sometimes don’t do a roundup of practices because it’s a lot to take in\, but again\, any of those seven can be practiced as an individual practice. So if you just start with reflecting back feelings and trying that out\, that is enough\, right? You don’t have to do all the other things. \nOr [00:10:00] if you just start with trying to get curious about your own patterns of communication and why you react that way\, that’s enough too. You don’t have to practice any of the others. So\, I welcome you to try out one or all of these. When you practice these steps\, even just one or two at a time\, you’ll notice the quality of your conversation start to shift. \nCORAL OWEN: I love all of those\, and I love that they can be sort of an à la carte approach\, Jess. But also you can use them sort of as a framework\, and\, you know\, build that momentum\, and tend the different aspects throughout. And truly\, like even just one step\, such as checking for understanding of someone else’s feelings\, that can by itself make such a big difference. \nAnd I love what you said about treating someone’s story as a gift. That’s such a nice idea and practice too. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I just wanna be clear too\, as you practice\, just like with all of the practices that we give on this podcast\, these steps become more natural and can [00:11:00] even start to happen in the space of a few seconds\, some of them. \nSo even if it feels strange at first to check in about someone’s emotions\, most people really appreciate the effort and the care. \nCORAL OWEN: I would say that rings true in my experience. So thanks Jess. Always appreciate the practices that you bring. And this one\, as always\, was wonderful. Thanks so much for walking us through empathetic listening. \nAnd for everyone listening\, give even one of these ideas a try in your next conversation and see what happens. \nAnd if you like\, share your experience with us in the Practicing Connection LinkedIn group\, where we explore skills that help us build healthier teams and communities. \nWe’ll be back next week with another wonderful episode and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/7-small-practices-for-better-converations/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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SUMMARY:Finding Gratitude in Tough Moments
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODIzMzAyNiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgyMzMwMjYtMy1zaW1wbGUtd2F5cy10by1maW5kLWdyYXRpdHVkZS1pbi10b3VnaC1tb21lbnRzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgyMzMwMjYlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 48) \nEver find yourself juggling tough projects or caring for others while your own energy dips? \nIn this episode\, discover three practical gratitude habits you can use to find steadiness and clarity – no matter what your day brings. \nThis week on Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral move past “feel-good” gratitude to share three real-world practices for professionals dealing with high stress\, teamwork struggles\, or just a long task list. \nWhether you lead teams\, support families\, or show up for your community\, these simple daily habits help you spot what’s sustaining you\, even when appreciation feels out of reach. \nWith flexible options for busy days and tough moods\, you’ll learn how these gentle gratitudes can boost resilience\, spark hope\, and steady you through the hardest times at work and beyond. \nLinks\n\nPracticing Connection episode: “Fuel your Day with Savoring: The ‘Catching Joy’ Practice”\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And today we’re talking about gratitude\, not as a buzzword or a holiday theme\, but as a real practice. One that can be complicated when life is stressful or uncertain. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really good point\, Jessica. Gratitude. I feel like it’s often talked about like it should come so easily\, in those hard moments though. And I just think it’s important to acknowledge that a lot of people are navigating some really difficult spaces right now. Gratitude can feel really far away and when we’re struggling\, like just being told\, “Oh\, just\, just be grateful.” It can sound very – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: – A daily gratitude practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh yeah. Just start\, start in your journal. Although I’m sure it always comes from a well-intentioned space\, it can feel really dismissive. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, yeah. Exactly. So before we go any further\, let’s ground this in a simple definition: [00:01:00] gratitude is the practice of recognizing and appreciating what helps us. What sustains us even when things aren’t easy. \nCORAL OWEN: Precisely\, and again\, this is not about pretending everything is sunshine\, rainbows\, and roses all the time. It’s making room to notice what’s still good\, what’s steady\, and what’s life giving alongside what is also so difficult. It’s kind of like both gratitude and struggle can coexist. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I noticed that you brought three different gratitude practices today in our notes\, instead of just one. Why three? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so this is the party pack of practices\, today. But\, you know\, in all seriousness\, there is no one size fits all way to practice gratitude. Some days we just have the bandwidth for reflection. Other days we’re just trying to make it through. So instead of offering just one structured approach\, we figured sharing three practices that meet y’all\, our listeners\, wherever you are. \nWhether it’s a quick [00:02:00] pause\, a simple reflection\, or a way to study yourself when things feel a little bit overwhelming\, you can just pick and choose what is serving you in the moment that you’re at. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, that is such a great way to frame it\, like giving people options instead of an expectation\, and that I think that you and I have talked about this\, I have trouble with gratitude practice. And I think that’s been hard ’cause it feels like sometimes it feels like a task. \nSometimes it feels like\, when you’re given the advice to start a daily gratitude practice\, I don’t know\, it just feels like an expectation\, somehow. \nCORAL OWEN: Or like another thing on your to-do list. And I think really\, you know\, what the hope is here with the practices that we’re sharing today\, Jess\, is not that this – it should not feel contrived or forced. Just finding something\, just something in whatever practice you may opt to try\, that feels a little bit more fluid and a little bit more aligned with where you’re at. \nAnd so our three practices\, we’ve got the noticing practice\, the one line journal and the [00:03:00] grounding gratitude check-in for you. And I’m excited to unpack all three of these. They build from small moments of awareness into a deeper sense of presence. And you can use them individually\, or you can rotate through them depending on what you need that day. \nWe’re just all about giving y’all tools that you can leverage\, and pick from your toolkit if you will. Whatever meets you in the moment. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s get started with these practices. Coral\, can you share the first one with us? \nCORAL OWEN: The noticing practice: so this one is\, I think\, the most simplistic and it’s usually where I start\, and recommend starting when gratitude feels just a little out of reach. And so at some point in your day\, all you need to do is pause for a moment and look for one\, it can be even a neutral thing or a pleasant thing happening right now. \nMaybe your coffee tastes good. That was mine this morning. Maybe the sun feels warm or\, you know\, just kind of nice and sunshiny through the window. Maybe the song on the radio is hitting just right and has a good vibe. You don’t have to force a feeling. It definitely does not need [00:04:00] to be profound. \nJust the act of noticing what’s around you is enough. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And you know\, this is really similar to an episode we did recently on savoring. And so if you wanna go deeper with this one\, I recommend finding that episode on savoring. We’ll put the link in our show notes. I think that this is a really refreshing take also on gratitude\, right? It’s not about chasing a sense of gratitude\, but it’s about being open to what’s already there. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and the hope is over time\, noticing will help shift your focus from what’s missing to rather include what’s present around you and the things that are quietly supporting you. Even if they’re small and seemingly very minute. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. I love this practice. Let’s move on to the next one\, the one line journal. So tell us a little bit about this one. \nCORAL OWEN: So the second practice is called the One Line Journal\, as you already noted. And again\, it’s very short and approachable\, we [00:05:00] hope\, and it’s just one sentence a day. You can start with the phrase\, “Today I noticed\,” or\, “Today I appreciated.” \nA couple examples: “I noticed how calm it felt driving home without traffic\,” or\, “I appreciate that my neighbor waved when I walked by.” And again\, these don’t need to be big\, monumental things. They can be just these small moments that are happening throughout your day. And the one sentence helps make that act of noticing more tangible. And over time you may start to see patterns\, small moments that help you feel grounded or connected without even realizing it at the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love that this builds awareness slowly. It’s not about big gratitude lists or journaling every detail. It’s just one little honest line. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and it doesn’t have to come from inside you\, right? It can be things that are happening external to you as well. And I think sometimes if we’re having a tough time finding just that [00:06:00] kind of neutral or\, you know\, somewhat positive connection point in the small day-to-day around us\, it can help bring that vibrance back. \nAnd it’s really about consistency more than volume. Here\, the goal is not to collect all the happy moments\, right? But to recognize the ordinary ones that get us through the day-to-day\, that make life feel a little bit more manageable. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I love that. Okay\, now let’s dig into the third one\, the grounding gratitude check-in. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, this is one of my favorites\, truly. And this third practice is for those days when gratitude just feels impossible. And it’s also a little bit of a sensory\, grounding technique. And so\, you know\, if you have spaces where you’re feeling anxious\, overwhelmed\, or just not in that head space\, this is one that I would encourage you to turn to. \nAll you need to do is take a slow\, steady breath anytime that you feel like you need to leverage this. And we’ve got three checkpoints: One thing you can see. You’re naming one thing you can see. Secondly\, [00:07:00] one thing you can touch. And thirdly\, one person\, place or thing that helps you feel supported. \nAnd this brings you back to your body instead of your thoughts\, and it can help your nervous system to calm down a bit. So you can reconnect with that sense of presence. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love this one. This is an incredibly grounding activity. I remember\, a long time ago\, my friend in a workshop that she and I both taught together\, she would have people kind of rub their thumb and their forefinger together\, or one of the fingers on their hand\, and have them feel like the ridges of their fingerprint\, and just really ground them there. \nAnd I ended up buying her\, and I got myself one too\, I ended up buying her this stone that is intentionally meant for you to like – has like a thumbprint in it. And yeah\, it’s intentionally meant for you to kind of rub your thumb on and get connected to a sensory\, you know\, I guess a sensory moment. So I really appreciate this practice [00:08:00] because it’s not about thinking your way into gratitude\, it’s about finding it through grounding and awareness. \nI think I’ve also seen this in like a one thing. You can see two things. You can touch three things. I’ve seen something similar to this\, but I love how simple this one is. \nCORAL OWEN: Totally. And sometimes the most real form of gratitude\, especially when times are challenging\, is simply noticing that you’re here and you’re breathing and you are not alone. And sometimes that is simply enough. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well that is a beautiful practice. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really glad you shared three. I think I gave you some crap at the beginning of this\, but I’m really glad you shared three. \nCORAL OWEN: Thanks so much. I really did enjoy pulling these together for today’s episode\, Jessica. So thanks so much for walking through these with me. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, as we wrap up today\, maybe take a moment wherever you are to pause and notice one thing that brings a bit of steadiness or relief. [00:09:00] You don’t have to call it gratitude\, but you might find that’s what it is. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. And just to reiterate\, gratitude – it doesn’t erase what is hard\, right? But it can soften the edges of when things do feel challenging. And it’s one way to remind ourselves that even in difficult seasons\, there is something that is still holding us. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thanks so much for this conversation on finding gratitude in tough moments\, Coral. \nIf this resonated with you\, our listeners\, share it with someone who might need that reminder today. \nCORAL OWEN: And we will be back soon with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:10:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/finding-gratitude-in-tough-moments/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251120T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251120T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251120T110019Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251114T192551Z
UID:10001703-1763625600-1763658000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Fuel Your Day with Savoring: The "Catching Joy" Practice
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE2MzAwMyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxNjMwMDMtZnVlbC15b3VyLWRheS13aXRoLXNhdm9yaW5nLXRoZS1jYXRjaGluZy1qb3ktcHJhY3RpY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE2MzAwMyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 47) \nIs there a way to make positive moments count more? Yes! This episode focuses on savoring\, the active\, intentional effort to prolong and intensify positive feelings. We discuss the science showing how this simple skill directly counteracts compassion fatigue by building your emotional ‘reservoir’ for well-being. You’ll learn: \n\nThe difference between savoring\, mindfulness\, and gratitude.\nThe step-by-step Catching Joy practice for maximizing present enjoyment.\nHow to use reminiscing (savoring the past) as a powerful tool to draw strength and confidence.\n\nLearn how to actively amplify the positive connections and small victories that fuel your vital work in the Military Family Readiness System. \n  \nLinks: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/ \nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org \nYale’s Science of Well-Being Class on Coursera\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks so much for tuning into the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, and today’s episode is all about a simple\, yet profound strategy for wellbeing. Savoring. My co-host Jessica is here to guide us. Hey Jess. How are you feeling today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m actually feeling really focused and present today\, which is a perfect mindset for this topic. I was kind of just enjoying my second cup of coffee and paying attention to the warmth of the mug. Especially since it’s been getting colder out now\, and also enjoying the rich smell. \nAnd so sort of like a little moment of savoring before we started. And of course once I start digging into something\, I start practicing it like crazy. And so that was a little mini savoring practice that I did. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I feel like that’s really a common experience for coffee lovers and tea lovers of course\, too. And it really does highlight how these moments are all around us\, even in the most seemingly [00:01:00] mundane day-to-day experiences. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. And we’d also love to hear from you\, how have you added moments of savory into your life? You can share your thoughts with us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All righty. So before we dive into today’s practice\, Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about what inspired you to focus on savoring and how it relates to our work supporting families? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Absolutely. My inspiration for this came from an unexpected place\, taking Yale’s Free Science of Wellbeing class. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that\, but I took it on Coursera a few years ago after reading about it\, and savoring was actually one of the core modules. And I found it so powerful for grounding myself and for amplifying joy. \nI often practiced it with small things\, like really tasting a meal\, and I think [00:02:00] foods are probably very natural\, right? We think of savoring and we think of food a lot of times. That’s a very natural way to practice it\, but also just watching a gentle snowfall outside my window\, or enjoying the pleasure my dog gets from a good scratch. \nLike really paying attention in that moment\, and just really amplifying that\, and understanding that this is a good moment\, right? \nAnd so the link to our work\, within the Military Family Readiness System\, is all about stress and burnout prevention. The work of supporting others can be tireless\, often managing complex needs and systems. And the evidence shows that savoring is a powerful tool to interrupt the stress cycle. \nStudies consistently demonstrate that intentionally focusing on positive feelings and experiences or savoring them can increase our overall happiness\, can boost positive emotions and even reduce the symptoms of depression. \nSo it shifts our focus from what’s [00:03:00] overwhelming to what is enriching\, even for just a few seconds. \nCORAL OWEN: That is so interesting. It actually kind of sounds like a cousin to the concepts like mindfulness and gratitude\, which I know many of our listeners may already be practicing. Can you clarify or kind of distinguish how savoring is different from these other concepts and practices? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think that’s an important distinction. And frankly\, any one of these\, doing any one of these things you mentioned like mindfulness\, gratitude\, I think are going to have the effect of boosting your positive emotions. These things can all also work together\, but they are not necessarily the same. \nSo mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Whether the experience is neutral\, positive or negative\, it’s about awareness. And then gratitude is the focus on the gifts\, contributions\, or good things that have been done for or given to us. Often looking at the source of a positive outcome. \nIt’s kind [00:04:00] of\, past or present focused usually. Awe\, which we just talked about in an episode\, is a specific emotion that recognizes vastness and the connections to the outside world. Like we will realize how small we are\, but how connected we are to whatever it is that we’re recognizing as vast. \nAnd then savoring\, on the other hand\, is specifically about amplifying and prolonging positive emotional experiences. It’s the intentional effort to keep the positive feeling going and to feel it more deeply. So if mindfulness is noticing the positive flavor of a piece of chocolate\, savoring is making the flavor last and really feeling the enjoyment that comes with it. \nIt’s about maximizing the good of the experience. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. That’s also so helpful to have it broken down like that. Thank you. And it’s so nice to have that concept and have it become [00:05:00] actionable. We’d spend so much time noticing problems that need fixing. I feel like savoring is sort of this deliberate practice of saying like\, “Hold on\, wait. This is good\, and I’m gonna soak it up.” And it’s like a simple tool for making these positive moments\, no matter how small they are\, really count. \nAlrighty\, so here comes the practical bit. Jessica\, can you walk us through step by step how someone can try this in their own life or even in their workday? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, definitely. We’re gonna try an activity that I’m currently calling “Catching Joy.” I’ve tried like three or four different names for this. I’m calling it catching joy right now. So this is a quick and easy practice you can do with almost anything. A sip of tea\, a phone call that went really well\, or even a moment of quiet between tasks. \nSo the first thing you’re going to do: choose your moment. Just stop what you’re doing for a moment and consciously pick something positive that’s [00:06:00] happening right now. It can be tiny\, like a ray of sun coming through the window\, the successful completion of an email or the smell of your lunch. The key is to stop the autopilot and decide I’m going to pay attention to this moment of goodness. \nCORAL OWEN: That pauses everything\, isn’t it? Just creating that space for the moment to simply exist. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah\, it really is. And so what that does then is in step two\, because you’ve taken that pause and decided to pay attention to the moment\, then you can engage all your senses. This is where the depth comes in. Don’t just think about the moment. Experience it fully. If it’s your cup of tea\, then notice the smell\, the temperature on your lips\, the taste as it washes over your tongue. \nIf it’s a positive interaction with a client or with a partner\, notice the sound of their voice\, the feeling of relief or [00:07:00] connection in your chest\, and the sight of their thankfulness. Ask yourself\, “What does my body notice right now?” \nWhatever it is that you’ve chosen to pay attention to\, just ask\, what does my body notice right now? \nAnd then step three: internalize and label the feeling. So as you experience this with your senses\, give the positive emotion a name. Are you feeling joy? Are you feeling contentment? How about satisfaction? Just silently say it to yourself: “I’m feeling a wave of deep satisfaction.” I know that contentment for me comes up a lot when I’m practicing this. \nNaming the feeling helps your brain register it more powerfully as a positive memory and part of your experience. I mentioned earlier that one of the ways I’ve used this is just really savoring a gentle snowfall now. After I’ve done that a few times and really spent the time savoring it\, I actually notice the gentle snowfall [00:08:00] more quickly now\, and I’ll stop for a moment and make sure that I savor those moments. \nAlright\, the last step: extend the experience. This is also called basking. Don’t rush away. Hold the feeling for an extra five to 10 seconds before moving on. We’re not talking about an inordinate amount of time here. Take a deep breath and deliberately allow the positive feeling to spread through your body. \nKind of like soaking up the sun\, you know how the sun feels in the spring. The first time it starts getting a little warm and you go outside and you just put your face up to the sun. So soak up the feeling. By extending it\, you help cement the positive memory and emotional response\, making it easier to recall later. \nCORAL OWEN: That four step catching joy practice\, by the way\, Jess\, I love that name. It’s just so simple and practical for the present moment. I was wondering\, do you have an example of how the principle of savoring can also be used to draw strength from the past?[00:09:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. That’s a really good question. I really actually struggled when I was looking for a practice I wanted to choose for savoring\, because there’s a lot of different ways you can practice savoring. I’m going to give you an example that highlights how versatile savoring is. \nWe often talk about future coping strategies\, but reminiscing the intentional recall of a positive memory is one of the most powerful ways to savor\, and it’s a form of emotional resilience. It’s like applying the catching joy practice we just went through to a memory\, instead of to the moment that you’re in. \nSo I have a good example that connects to overcoming performance anxiety\, or stage fright. Or public speaking anxiety is another way of putting that\, which most people can relate to. Because we know that public speaking is the most feared activity among people. So I often get extra nervous when I’m doing public speaking [00:10:00] in front of peers\, but I have a memory that I intentionally returned to. \nSeveral years ago\, I participated in a musical improv night during a conference. I cannot sing well\, and I was on stage with people who had many more years of training than I did\, and I was nervous about that. But I did it anyway\, and I ended up absolutely loving the experience. \nTo help with public speaking anxiety\, now I think of that night\, and I remember. I’ll never forget this specifically: taking a moment to look around while I was on stage\, noticing who was there with me\, what the stage looked like\, because I was feeling such a powerful sense of belonging and creativity with the group. That was a moment of present moment savoring\, right? \nSo I took a moment during that performance too. Engage in sort of a\, you know\, four step catching joy activity that we just went through. Now though\, when I’m stressed\, I [00:11:00] reminisce about this. I replay the specific words I sang\, which I’ll never forget either\, right? I can almost feel the stage lights and I can recall the rush of positive feeling. \nIf I can sing terribly in front of a room full of peers and strangers and love every second\, then I can definitely present my work to colleagues. That’s how it helps me. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much. That’s such a powerful example\, it’s almost like a savoring memory bake. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, and it just perfectly demonstrates that energy boost that we can get from the catching joy practice. It doesn’t disappear\, right? It gets banked and filed away for later\, and you’re consciously capturing that feeling of connection and confidence in the moment\, and then you can intentionally pull it out whenever you need that boost in the future. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. I mean\, savoring is about amplifying the signal of the good. Whether it’s the smell of your coffee right [00:12:00] now\, or the sense of accomplishment from a year ago. It all builds your emotional resilience. So here’s a challenge for all of you\, all of our listeners: try the Catching Joy practice just once a day this week or one day this week. \nDon’t wait for a huge event. Just find a positive moment in the mundane: your lunch break\, the first sip of water\, or a successful phone call. And if you’re facing a stressful moment\, try my technique\, savor a positive memory by reliving the sensory details and letting the good feelings wash over you. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much. Thanks so much for sharing this practice\, Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I loved it. \nCORAL OWEN: Alrighty\, well that is a wrap for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining our conversation today on the power of savoring the moment both in the present\, but also in the past. \nIf you found value in our talk today\, you can share this episode with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with something new and until then\, keep practicing. [00:13:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/fuel-your-day-with-savoring-the-catching-joy-practice/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251113T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251113T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251113T110050Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T163543Z
UID:10001702-1763020800-1763053200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reconnecting with Wonder to Spark Creativity
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE0NjM4MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxNDYzODAtcmVjb25uZWN0aW5nLXdpdGgtd29uZGVyLXRvLXNwYXJrLWNyZWF0aXZpdHkuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODE0NjM4MCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 46) \nWhen the complexity of your work leads to burnout and tunnel vision\, where do you find the energy to create solutions?  \nToday\, we’re exploring the science of awe – that powerful feeling we experience in the presence of something vast. We’ll share simple\, evidence-based practices for weaving micro-moments of wonder into your busiest days\, helping you downshift your nervous system and instantly restore your perspective. \nIn high-stress roles\, we often get stuck in rumination and burnout. This episode explores the restorative power of awe\, the feeling of wonder and humility in the presence of something vast (as defined by Dr. Dacher Keltner). \nWe discuss the science showing how awe reduces cortisol and inflammation\, while significantly boosting creativity and perspective. You’ll learn the three-part practice: \n\nMicro Awe: The daily “Awe Walk” to reset your stress response.\nThe Weekly Deep Dive: Spending extended time in nature to boost creativity by nearly 50%.\nAwe in Community: Using Dr. Keith Tidball’s concept of urgent biophilia to foster shared purpose and resilience.\n\nAwe doesn’t demand more of your time – it asks for your attention. Tune in to learn how to find those moments of wonder and bring new energy to your work supporting military families. \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\n\n\nFinding Awe in the Ordinary | Greater Good Magazine\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Today we’re exploring something that might sound a little bit magical – \nCORAL OWEN: Aww. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, awww! That’s what I was just saying beforehand. I can’t not do it. So specifically we’re gonna be talking about how cultivating moments of awe in nature can help prevent burnout and reignite creativity. \nCORAL OWEN: This topic is actually one of my favorites\, Jess. I know that we were talking about that a little bit in our pre-show recording. But yeah\, seriously\, we’ve all\, I’m sure we’ve all had those experiences like standing under trees after a rainstorm\, catching the glow of a sunset\, seeing a flock of birds move in unison. \nIt’s those moments where time feels like it just slows down a bit. And these moments of awe are more than beautiful. They’re actually deeply restorative. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And [00:01:00] before we go further\, let’s actually get into what we mean by awe. \nSo psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner describes it as\, “The feeling we experience in the presence of something vast\, that transcends our current understanding of the world.” \nIt’s that mix of wonder\, humility and curiosity that pulls us out of ourselves and reminds us that there’s more to life than what’s right in front of us. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly\, and just because you’re reading that definition\, it does kind of give the sense that\, “Oh man\, we really need to\, you know\, like be in front of the Grand Canyon or something.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: It can also be a lot more micro than that. But we’ll talk about that in a second. But truly\, awe does have this incredible ability\, whether micro or more on the grand scale\, to shift our perspective from me to we\, and remind us that we are part of something bigger. \nAnd that shift in perspective can really [00:02:00] spark creativity\, restore motivation\, and bring us back into alignment with what really matters. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And what’s really interesting to me is that science backs that up\, right? So researchers studying emotions like all people like Dr. Keltner and Florence Williams have found that these experiences help downshift our nervous system. They reduce hormones like cortisol. They lower inflammation. They even ease rumination\, that repetitive like mental loop that we get stuck in when we’re burned out. And that is definitely one area that I need to reduce. \nCORAL OWEN: I think we can all find relativity in that. And truly the best part is\, like we already mentioned\, you don’t have to go to great lengths to find these massive vantage points like the Grand Canyon or the Atlantic Ocean. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Great Lakes too! So\, oh\, you said “great [00:03:00] lengths\,” but I was like\, “Oh\, well I could go to the Great Lakes. That’s only like 45 minutes from where I live.” \nCORAL OWEN: A little more than around the block than us. But yeah\, I mean\, you don’t have to go to the Great Lakes to experience this phenomenon. And according to\, I know a lot of people perhaps have read The Nature Fix\, which is by Florence Williams. Then there’s other research of course from psychologists like Paul Piff\, that even these small daily moments of nature can produce measurable benefits. \nAnd even as small as a dose of just a few minutes\, like noticing a tree outside your window\, or watching the clouds move\, can begin that restorative process. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And when we extend that\, when we spend a little more intentional time outdoors or share those experiences with others\, we not only boost creativity\, but we also deepen community connection\, which is awesome. \nThat’s where the work of Dr. Keith Tidball comes in. [00:04:00] His concept of urgent biophilia highlights how people naturally turn to nature and greening projects during or after stressful times. So planting\, rebuilding\, restoring as a way to heal together. \nCORAL OWEN: Yes. And so today we’re talking about awe as a simple\, accessible tool for resilience and renewal\, and I’ve put together a couple of practices that can bring this to life. \nSo starting with more small personal moments of awe and then deepening it to more of a weekly rhythm\, and finally\, expanding outward to include community. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So let’s get into it then. \nCORAL OWEN: Sounds good\, shall we? So\, let’s start small\, okay? Because awe does not have to take a lot of time. It does not have to be grandiose. These micro practices can be woven into your daily routine\, even on your busiest days\, which I would actually argue\, it matters even more. \nSo one of my favorites is what researchers call an “awe walk.” And this can be a short walk\, five to ten [00:05:00] minutes around your neighborhood\, a local park\, even in your office courtyard. And the goal – yes\, of course exercise is great\, and movement is wonderful\, but that actually is not the primary focus here. It’s your attention. \nAnd as you walk\, look around with curiosity\, what’s one detail you might normally miss? Like the pattern of the leaves against the sky\, the way the light hits the building\, sounds of the birds\, wind. You know\, anything truly\, you just have this act of noticing\, and maybe you might even whisper\, “Wow.” \nAnd when you finish\, just take a slow breath. There is a lot of presence in breath as well. And ask yourself\, “What surprised me just now? Does my body feel different than before?” \nThese small moments of awe help reset our stress response to loose and rigid thinking. And also surprisingly\, perhaps open creative pathways\, which is something that we all need when we’re running on empty. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I really love how simple that is. It doesn’t require scheduling or special equipment\, just a [00:06:00] few intentional minutes to notice what’s already around you. \nCORAL OWEN: Precisely. Awe is everywhere. Just a lot of times we get a little busy and perhaps forget to look for it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. \nCORAL OWEN: So part two\, and this is something that is maybe not as quickly accessible. We would invite you to maybe do this next practice once a week\, once a month\, whatever suits your schedule. Still with regularity\, but perhaps less\, a little bit less frequency than daily. \nDo take a little bit more time to immerse yourself in a setting that evokes wonder. This might be walking along the beach\, going to the Great Lakes\, hiking a favorite trail\, perhaps even star gazing. And again\, the goal here isn’t to do anything in particular\, necessarily. It’s to be with the experience. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think that that’s a really important distinction here because we’re talking about awe\, but awe isn’t an action. Awe is a [00:07:00] feeling\, right? \nSo you’re\, feeling the awesomeness or the\, you’re feeling the awe right\, and the act and the practice is putting yourself into the mindset or the position to be able to notice what might make you feel that sense of awe. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. It really is experiencing wonder\, but it’s creating the space. Jessica\, you’re so right. That’s a great distinction. \nSo kind of with that sense of\, “How are we creating the setting to allow awe and wonder to come in.” Some things that may help: leaving your phone behind or putting it on airplane mode. You also give yourself twenty or thirty minutes to explore\, slowly and silently\, and then when something catches your attention. Maybe it’s a sound\, a color\, a scent. Something that fills the senses. \nJust pause. Let it fill your awareness for a few breaths. [00:08:00] And this simple act of attention\, it can expand your sense of space and time. \nIt creates mental spaciousness. Studies do show that extended time in nature boosts creativity by nearly 50%\, which I thought was incredible. Simply by allowing the brain’s default mode network to rest and reset. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s really fascinating\, and it really makes sense too. Some of my most creative ideas come after a time outdoors when I’ve really stopped trying to solve a problem. And look\, I live in a city\, and I still consider\, you know\, as I’m taking a walk\, I’m still noticing the nature around me. There’s still nature around. I intentionally walk through\, it’s this tiny little pocket park\, but I intentionally walk through that park. I notice all of the nature around me\, and even after my city walks or whatever\, I still have some of my most creative ideas. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, it’s not uncommon\, Jess at all. [00:09:00] It is really something that when we’re trying to force something\, or just\, you know\, staring at the screen\, you know\, or even pen to paper\, just waiting for something to come along. Sometimes we just need to kind of break out of that groove and just go do something different. \nAnd these moments of awe can really kind of allow that creativity to come back in. And it really does soften the edges of\, “I have to figure this out\,” and lets those insights kind of emerge more naturally. \nAll right\, so something that we alluded to earlier is that having a community element can really just lift this to a whole new level. And Dr. Keith Tidball\, whose research we talked about earlier\, his research on urgent biophilia\, it does show that communities often do turn to nature after disruption or stress. \nIn his work in particular\, after natural disasters such as hurricanes\, et cetera\, and initiatives such as planting trees\, starting gardens\, [00:10:00] cleaning rivers\, awe is a way to restore both the land and the spirit. And when we share awe\, we don’t just restore ourselves\, we also help restore one another. \nSo to move forward with this incredible realization\, as a practice\, here are just a few suggestions that you might try to invite community into your awe practice. You could invite a friend for a sunrise walk or an evening sky watch. I think there are some astronomy clubs\, Jess\, that you – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I just joined one right before we recorded. I was telling Coral how I just joined an astronomy club and\, it’s pretty nice to not be alone in\, you know\, as alone as I love to be in the quiet of the night sky\, it’s nice to not be alone. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds really fun actually. A couple other ideas you might share: A “wow” photo or a wonder photo from your week in a group chat or a team [00:11:00] space. \nFor teams that I’ve worked on previously\, we’ve used Slack and\, you know\, I just might be like\, “Hey\, this was for my coffee walk this morning\,” and everybody kind of chimes in with theirs. Kind of fun. \nOther ideas for consideration? Perhaps volunteering at a local park cleanup\, beach cleanup\, community garden or environmental project. And the thought here is that these shared moments build connection\, purpose\, and resilience\, and it really is just such a powerful antidote to burnout’s isolation. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it’s beautiful how something as simple as noticing nature can ripple outward from calming one person’s nervous system to strengthening a whole community. \nCORAL OWEN: That really is the heart of it. Awe helps us connect with ourself\, but it also connects us to creativity and to one another as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks so much for sharing that\, Coral. As we wrap up today\, maybe you’ll find a moment\, even just a few seconds\, to look up at the sky\, feel the [00:12:00] air on your skin\, or notice the color of the leaves where you are. Those small pauses have the power to shift your whole day. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. In awe\, it doesn’t demand more of our time\, like Jess already said. All it’s doing is asking for our attention\, and then in that attention we can often discover a little wonder\, a little spaciousness\, and perhaps even a spark of inspiration we maybe even didn’t know that we’d lost. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thanks so much for spending part of your day with us here on Practicing Connection. If this conversation resonated with you\, we’d love for you to share it with someone who might need that gentle reminder to step outside and breathe. \nWe will be back next week with another episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:13:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reconnecting-with-wonder-to-sparl-creativity/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/qtq80-kFeWvf.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251106T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251106T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251106T110012Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T161435Z
UID:10001701-1762416000-1762448400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Ending the Day Strong: A 5-minute Daily Reset
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODExNjcyOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgxMTY3MjgtZW5kaW5nLXRoZS1kYXktc3Ryb25nLWEtNS1taW51dGUtZGFpbHktcmVzZXQuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODExNjcyOCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 45) \nFeeling stretched thin?  \nTry this simple 5-minute daily practice to get yourself untangled and take small steps to move out of overwhelm\, help you notice what fuels you\, and set you up for a calmer tomorrow.  \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica discuss how to combat overwhelm through a quick\, consistent reflection habit. Jessica introduces a five-minute daily practice built around three guiding questions: \n\nWhat was energy-generating today?\nWhat was energy draining?\nAnd what can I do differently tomorrow?\n\nThis small act of awareness – done daily – can help you see patterns\, make gentle adjustments\, and bring focus to what matters most. \nWhether you’re juggling deadlines\, family\, or transitions\, you’ll learn how everyday reflection can restore clarity and control. \nAnd check out this episode from our archives for more perspective on great tracking practices: \n“Energy and engagement tracking\, Nov. 30\, 2023” \nFurther links and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Hi there. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host Jessica is here today as well. And we are going to be talking about fighting overwhelm with daily reflections. And Jess is going to be sharing a practice with us. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF I’m pretty good today. You know what? I can’t complain. It’s still warm-ish outside. The sky is blue against all the beautiful fall colors. The fall rush of activity has calmed down. It seems like September is always such a busy month. This actually kind of feels a little bit like the calm before the storm though\, with the end of the year holidays around the corner. So I’ll share a little bit more about this in a minute. \nBut I just went over my calendar between now\, which is earlier in October as we’re recording this\, and the end of the year. And I started to claim\, like pre-claim\, time on my calendar to block it off way ahead so that I can be prepared when my schedule gets full. And I’m going to stick to it! \nCORAL OWEN Love that for you. No\, I will say the calendar bit\, very relatable. Here in Tampa Bay is\, we’ll call it “Florida Fall.” Like the mercury dipped below 70 the other day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Like Wisconsin summer? \nCORAL OWEN (01:20.856) \nProbably. And literally the entire neighborhood busted out their like hoodies and beanies and it’s only 69 degrees. So\, but no\, I totally feel you on the calendar bit. I actually began a similar practice about a month ago by grouping similar work into like particular time windows each day. And it really has\, I’ve tried to stick with it\, you know\, like Monday we’re doing this and you know\, Tuesday we’re doing that\, and trying to primarily just keep like for instance calls to the afternoon. \nSo I’ve got a bigger chunk of time in the morning to just move through things and think a little bit more deeply. But it really has helped me stay focused. I’m getting more done\, doing better quality work and thinking. I really just don’t feel so scattered with my energy. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah\, it’s really hard. Context switching is really hard\, like going from one project to a different project where\, you know\, there might be some connective tissue between the two\, but it’s maybe it’s weak connective tissue and it’s a lot of work to kind of do that switching constantly. So that sounds like a really smart strategy. \nCORAL OWEN Absolutely. I know that a lot of people probably can relate to this. Even if you have one role\, oftentimes people will wear many different hats within the same role. So yeah\, maybe we should do another episode about that\, at some point. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF We probably should\, yeah! \nCORAL OWEN (02:42.497) \nWell\, for today\, at least\, we are going to be digging in more about daily reflections. Jess\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you chose today and why did you decide to dig into this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Well\, I mean\, and daily reflections is not new to this podcast\, right? There are so many different ways that you can do daily reflections. And that’s why we cover it so many different ways as well. \nAnd so I’ve been planning out my time\, like I mentioned a little bit ago\, for the rest of the year. And I was struck by just how busy the last two months of the year can get. \nAt work\, you know\, there are project deadlines\, of course. There’s reporting to finish before the end of the year\, many of us have. And it’s often in months that are also packed with travel and important personal commitments. \nMeanwhile\, if you’re in the Northern hemisphere\, like we are\, the days are getting shorter\, which is really annoying\, but that’s another story. All of that can actually combine into making like November and December really\, really hectic\, stressful\, and completely overwhelming. \nHence my going through and pre blocking my time to make sure that I had some. And it’s really hard to know what will help me navigate through all of that. So that’s why. \nCORAL OWEN Yeah\, for sure. There is just so much happening in these periods of time and seasons. What particularly makes a reflection practice helpful in spaces such as these? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (04:12.482) \nThis is the reason why I often suggest reflection practices\, because I know that everyone needs something that’s low commitment and really simple. If you’re overwhelmed\, adding a huge task isn’t going to help. Because I practice daily reflection almost daily\, I’m not perfect\, I know that it doesn’t take long and it’s not a huge task. \nAnd when it comes to this time of year\, toward the end of the calendar year\, it’s not the time to make huge changes or to do deep inventories. To navigate overwhelm when you need something that is incredibly surprisingly achievable. That’s why reflection\, daily reflection helps. \nSo this particular daily reflection is just that. It’s really simple\, takes about five minutes and it invites you to find one small thing that you can change. \nCORAL OWEN That does seem pretty approachable. There is a part of me saying immediately like\, “Well\, if it’s that simple\, how is it actually helpful?” So what would you say in response to that? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah\, I do think that sometimes practices like this can feel overly simple\, and\, “It’s only a few minutes so I can skip it today.” \nHence\, even my own admission that I practice daily reflection almost daily. So it does seem overly simple for such a big issue and for something that can create such a big change. \nI understand why someone might think it wouldn’t be helpful. The power really in this practice is doing it daily. By making it simple\, we make it easier to do every day. So consistency\, because consistency is the key for this practice to have big impacts\, if you do it once\, but never again\, you won’t get the same impact as doing it daily or even weekly. \nAnd by doing it regularly\, then you can start to see patterns. You can test possible next steps. You know\, we can test different things\, and maybe immediately start to see impacts of some of those small changes that you implement. \nIt’s kind of like that\, how a bunch of tiny steps can build up into a big momentum over time. Baby steps\, think\, used to be the term that we would all use\, ‘baby steps.’ \nCORAL OWEN Mm-hmm. Well\, while you were unpacking all of that\, I immediately just thought of brushing your teeth. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yes\, right! A small daily practice that has big impact on your health. \nCORAL OWEN 100%. So this is yeah\, mental. Mental and energetic and calendar health\, even. So\, and I totally agree that if you’re reflecting over time\, it’ll be easier to notice how your choices are impacting your experience. But having just like a very narrow aperture on say a day\, you probably won’t see much\, but if you expand it outwards a bit more\, a couple of months\, six months\, year\, it probably is a huge shift. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. And the particular questions that’ll be sharing in a little bit\, I think\, are especially helpful for taking that larger look over time. And I think you’ll see\, you’ll see why in a little bit. \nBut yeah\, exactly. Long-term doing regular reflection kind of gives you those opportunities to have agency and ownership over your own growth. And you know\, when you notice what is going on during your days and you have the opportunity to decide what changes you want to make. \nI think it’s especially helpful in situations where a lot of what you do is dictated by others. Or I would say a lot of what you do sometimes feels like it might be dictated by others\, right? I talked about trying to claim time ahead of time before my schedule gets crazy. \nWell\, guess who allows my schedule to get crazy? It’s really me. I mean\, that’s not always the case\, I know that\, but sometimes it is a very real situation where your schedule is dictated by others. And sometimes it’s a little more of a self-created situation or a perceived situation. \nAnyway\, regardless of what it is\, if you feel stuck or trapped\, it can feel impossible to figure out next steps. And so this reflection can help highlight what changes you’re able to make. And while it isn’t going to magically get rid of the hard things in your life\, it can help you proactively decide how you want to navigate them. And making these deliberate choices can be really empowering. \nCORAL OWEN I love that and it really does sound great. How does one go about implementing this and how does it work? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF All right\, so this reflection is designed for the end of the day. I recommend scheduling just five minutes every day for at least a week. \nMaybe that looks like the end of your workday on your commute home\, or while you brush and floss your teeth. Although if you’re doing it while you brush and floss your teeth\, it’ll be harder for you to write down your thoughts\, but that’s okay. Whatever space you have for pausing to think is absolutely the correct space. \nOnce you reach your reflection\, time and space\, ask yourself these three questions. And I’ll go into a little more detail in a second here. But the three questions are\, what was energy generating today? What was energy draining today? And\, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? \nYou might help find it really helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help keep track of what you’re seeing over time. But I would avoid writing more than a short list or one to two sentences per question. It is absolutely imperative that we keep it simple or we’re not going to keep doing this. \nYou can\, if you like\, especially if you’ve chosen brushing your teeth as the time that you’re going to\, that you’re going to reflect\, you can just reflect on these questions and not write them down. The reason we recommend writing them down is because our memories are\, at best\, inconsistent. So in order to see patterns and reap those larger results we were talking about\, just quickly jotting a few thoughts down will be key. And it doesn’t really take much more time than just sitting and reflecting. \nCORAL OWEN Those are great questions and I’m just curious\, not to put you on the spot\, but what might it look like to answer them? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah. Okay. Great. Put me on the spot\, won’t you? \nNo\, of course I came prepared to answer this question. So one general tip is to do your best to approach your answers with curiosity rather than judgment. The first time you do the reflection\, the questions might be hard to answer\, but if you keep answering them consistently\, you’re going to start to look for your answers throughout the day. You’re going to start to notice things more easily. And the reflection itself is going to go more quickly. \nSo here’s a few tips on each of those three questions. So first\, what was energy generating today? When you’re overwhelmed\, it’s easy to miss the good stuff\, but it’s really important to notice what is going well. And this is what will help sustain you throughout the busy seasons. \nYour answers can be something small like\, ‘trading a genuine smile with a stranger at a grocery store\,” or something really big like\, ‘finishing a month’s or year’s long project.’ \nJust try to be specific and honest with yourself about what actually gave you energy. And I think a caveat here is sometimes we might give an answer because we think it should be something that gives us energy. Like I’m going to just use like\, spending time with our kids. \nI don’t have children\, and I’ve said that on here before\, but I think sometimes saying something like\, “spending time with our kids\, or\, ‘finishing that months long project\,’ like we might say something like that because we think it should give us energy\, but I just really want you to reflect on\, was that something that gave you energy? Was that something that just was a lovely release\, but maybe didn’t give you energy? Does that make sense\, Coral? \nCORAL OWEN Yeah\, that totally does make sense. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Okay\, great. I want to make sure\, because I do this kind of practice a lot and I just want people to make sure that they are able to check in really on something that gave them energy versus was just a release. \nAnd if you can’t come up with a single thing that was energy generating\, that’s okay. Just make note of it and move on. So that was what was energy generating today. Now here’s some tips for what was energy draining today. \nI think it’s often easier for us to recognize this one. So this is another question where I encourage you to be specific and honest with yourself. If your instinct is to say “everything\,” that’s actually\, well it’s not being specific for sure. And it’s possibly not being honest with yourself. I think it’s sometimes easier for us to recognize that we felt bad versus recognize why we felt bad today\, right. Or why that was energy draining in this specific case. \nSo try coming up with a list of one to three specific things\, big or small\, that drained your energy\, right? So doing anything with financials drains my energy. I know that. I’ve identified it over the years. If I had to do a whole bunch of travel expense reimbursements or anything to do with finances\, I know that that day\, I’m going to be able to list that very specifically. ‘I had to deal with finances.’ \nAnd again\, if you can’t think of a single thing that was energy draining\, that’s okay. Just ask yourself\, what was overwhelming for me today instead? And still\, if you can’t find an answer to that\, that’s okay. Just note that there was nothing energy draining today. \nIf you find the same thing coming up from day to day\, get curious about it. What about this thing is draining? How can you shift things in your favor\, and who or what can support you? \nIn the case of my issue with dealing with financial tasks\, for me\, what’s draining about it is the sheer level of detail and rules involved and process. You know\, you have to do this before you do that\, and you have to explain this to a great level of detail. And it’s just a lot happening. \nAnd one of the things that helped me shift things in my favor was getting to know\, believe it or not\, getting to know what some of those rules were so that I could do it flawlessly each time I did it. Now it still doesn’t take away the fact that I dislike doing it and that it drains my energy\, but it helps me get through it faster and easier than before. So that’s an example of how that can work. \nSo those were some tips for what was energy draining today. Now the last question is\, is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow? And this is the question where we try to hone in on converting the energy-draining activities into more neutral activities. \nLike I said\, with my financial tasks\, I was able to turn something that was super energy draining into more of the neutral space. It still is energy draining\, but it’s less energy draining than it was before. So this is about turning those activities into more neutral activities\, or adding more energy generating activities into our day. \nSo something might immediately pop up for you when you think about this question\, but sometimes the energy draining things aren’t something we can get rid of\, right? I have to do those financial tasks\, right? I can’t get rid of those. So if that’s the case\, just try asking yourself\, how can I make this easier or kinder for myself? \nThose were tips for the third question\, “Is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow?” You might find it helpful to jot down a few notes each day to help you track what you’re seeing over time. We’ve said that a couple of times. I do think that that is a really helpful way of getting that wider view\, but we really want to keep it simple. \nSo don’t do any more\, as a reminder\, any more than one to two sentences per question. If you notice something specific keeps popping up as energizing\, try to do that more. And then of course\, if you notice something that keeps draining your energy\, and nothing you’ve tried makes a difference\, that’s a sign that you might want to ask someone you trust for help thinking through how to shake things up. Or maybe you don’t need to ask somebody for that. You can just think of other ideas for taking things up. \nCORAL OWEN Delegate it! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF (16:36.142) \nOr if you can delegate\, then by all means delegate. \nCORAL OWEN I say this as I’m teaching my three year old how to load the dryer. Anyway\, that was all in jest. \nNo\, seriously\, Jess\, thank you so much for doing a deeper dive into those questions. Those were wonderful tips that provided a lot of clarity. My tendency would be to hear those questions or read those questions and think through it more high level\, but getting so granular as to the point of ‘a genuine smile from a stranger at a grocery store\,’ those micro moments sometimes really can be a lot more impactful than I think we might give them credit for\, for better or for worse. \nSo\, yeah\, doing that deep dive was really helpful. So thank you so much for this reflection. And yeah\, it kind of feels like maybe like a closing ceremony to your day\, and just really wraps things up nicely and just with a little bit of\, not formality\, but just a little bit of a ritual\, helping you pivot to that next activity\, whatever it is you’re you’re doing from there. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Yeah and you know part of the purpose of that final question is that it can set you up with momentum already for the next day. \nCORAL OWEN (17:49.654) \nOh that’s such a good point. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF Right? Yeah so if decision fatigue is one of the things you struggle with while you’re feeling overwhelmed\, that third question is going to help you get started with your next day. \nCORAL OWEN (18:00.184) \nThat’s a really wonderful point and I love that so much. \nAll right. Well\, that is all for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us and a special thanks to our co-producer\, Erin Carlson Rivera\, for producing this episode. \nAs always\, if you enjoyed this or any of our episodes\, please be sure to click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with a new episode and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/ending-the-day-strong-a-5-minute-daily-reset/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/AdobeStock_286723164-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251030T063000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251030T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251030T100045Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260311T203121Z
UID:10001700-1761805800-1761843600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Planting Seeds: 3 Minute Connections That Transform Your Relationships
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODA3Mjk3MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgwNzI5NzMtcGxhbnRpbmctc2VlZHMtMy1taW51dGUtY29ubmVjdGlvbnMtdGhhdC10cmFuc2Zvcm0teW91ci1yZWxhdGlvbnNoaXBzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTgwNzI5NzMlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 44) \nWhat if three minutes a day could transform your relationships- and your whole sense of connection?  \nDiscover how tiny\, intentional gestures can spark big ripples across your community. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral spotlight the overlooked power of small\, intentional outreach. Inspired by the “3-Minute Rule\,” they explore how three minutes a day spent reaching out – with no agenda -can strengthen bonds\, expand networks\, and boost both appreciation and purpose. \nListeners get actionable steps to make this practice stick\, hear about the ripple effects of genuine connections\, and find out how consistency in small gestures leads to a thriving community – both personally and professionally. \nBonus: Try the “3 for 3” connection habit! \n\nFor the next five days\, spend three minutes each day reaching out to three people: send a quick thank you\, a simple check-in\, or let someone know you’re thinking of them (no agenda\, no ask).\nShare your favorite message (anonymized if needed)\, or a reflection on how this small habit affected you\, in our LinkedIn group.\n\nLet’s plant connection seeds together and inspire others to keep the ripple going! \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and today Coral will share a practice with us about something that might sound small\, but it can have an incredible ripple effect. The simple act of reaching out. We’ll explore how a few intentional minutes each day can strengthen our relationships\, our communities\, and even our sense of purpose. \nHi Coral. How are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica. I’m doing really well\, thanks. I absolutely love this topic because it reminds me that connection doesn’t always have to be a big\, time-consuming effort. It can kind of feel that way sometimes\, but often\, it’s really the smallest gestures that can create some of the deepest impact. Simply a text\, a quick check-in\, or just a short note that says\, “Hey\, just thinking about you.” Doesn’t have to be huge or massive to make a massive impact. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. You don’t have to like stand outside their window holding a [00:01:00] boombox above your head. I know it’s a different kind of a declaration\, but anyway\, and I really think that so many of us want to be better about that. We mean to reach out to people. I mean\, I know I do all the time. I think about people I want to reach out to. We mean to reach out to people that we care about or to follow up after a really good conversation. I mean\, hello conferences. \nBut it’s really easy for that intention to get lost in the day-to-day busyness. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. I think a lot of us\, I’m actually totally speaking for myself here\, you know\, thinking about connection. It’s like\, “Oh\, I need to call so and so\,” and it’s just like trying to find the time and space to do that big catch up\, it can feel really intimidating. And what we’re going to talk about today is really a way to build that habit into your life in a very simple\, approachable\, doable way. \nAnd it only takes but a few minutes to help you stay genuinely connected. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s talk about it before we get into the actual practice [00:02:00] itself. Why does this matter? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, so when we talk about practicing connection\, we’re often thinking about how to build and strengthen relationships over time with our colleagues\, friends\, family\, community members. But the catch is the connection. It doesn’t just happen\, right? It takes intention\, even when that action itself is quite small. \nAnd so I like to think of it as\, aptly named: practice for today\, as well as planting seeds. So you might not see anything grow straight away. But each little outreach\, each little moment of care or gratitude\, it really does have the potential to bloom in unexpected ways. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And that\, I mean\, I know that the term ‘planting seeds’ gets used for a lot of things\, but it really is such a beautiful image and in this case\, it really takes the pressure off. You’re not reaching out with an agenda or expecting something back from the person. You’re just tending to your relationships in small but consistent ways. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. And\, this idea really [00:03:00] has been wonderfully captured. If you’re familiar with the entrepreneur\, Jesse Itzler\, he shares this practice in a very similar vein. He calls it the Three Minute Rule and\, put simply\, it’s the practice. That did inspire today’s episode in the large part. But the idea is simply to spend three minutes a day\, and you can certainly modify this too\, to suit your own daily timeline. \nBut as a core practice\, we invite you to just spend three minutes a day reaching out to three people. And the anchor here though is that there’s no ask\, no goal. It’s just a moment of connection. And whether it be a text or a quick note or a voice memo\, which I’m a huge fan of\, bit by bit\, these really tiny\, small gestures\, or seeds\, if you will\, they build a powerful network of really genuine relationships. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I love that. It’s really practical\, but it’s also heart centered\, right? And it’s something you could even say human centered. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And it’s something that we can all do\, you know\, no matter how full our [00:04:00] schedules are. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. Alright\, so let’s just cut to the chase\, and here is how to try it each day. Take three minutes. You can even literally set a timer if that is helpful\, and reach out to three people. It could look like sending a quick thank you to a colleague\, writing a text to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while\, writing a short message or sending a quick voice memo to someone who has made an impact on your life. \nAnd again\, just to reiterate\, the key here is there’s no ask\, there’s no agenda. It’s just connection. And you could even say\, “Hey\, so and so\, no need to reply. I just wanted to let you know X\, Y\, and Z.” It can be as simple as that\, and you know\, truly\, it doesn’t have to be perfect or profound. It’s just this simple\, straightforward note of just thinking of you sharing that small sentiment that can make someone’s day\, and just help keep that relationship alive. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and the [00:05:00] great thing about this is it’s small enough to actually do. You know\, we all have three minutes somewhere in our day\, even though it sometimes doesn’t feel like it. So like between meetings while the coffee’s brewing\, you know\, before we log off for the day. and I think you and I talked a little bit about this beforehand\, that we can also make this about one person\, right? \nWe could\, you could even just reach out to one person. You don’t have to make it three. It doesn’t have to be perfect like you said. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. I’m thinking the car line school pickup. There’s lots of places that we can\, you know\, while we’re in the midst of waiting\, not to fill space with more things\, but I think intentional things that we can slot into those waiting spaces can really add up. And really\, the key here is doing it consistently. \nIt becomes part of your rhythm. And whether it’s three people a day or one person a day\, kind of the cool math here is that if you do the three people a day\, it adds up to over a thousand [00:06:00] connections and touch points for that year. And you know\, not every one of those will lead to something big\, but together collectively\, it forms a web of trust and generosity that strengthens both your personal and your professional relationships. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And it’s not just about the other person\, right? So reaching out like this keeps you in a mindset of appreciation. I would say it reminds you that connection is everywhere\, and it takes just that small little spark to keep it alive. And the more you’re reminding yourself that this is something that’s really important to do\, the more you’re going to notice those moments that you can write about\, or that you can reach out to a person about. \nCORAL OWEN: I think that’s such a really\, that’s a beautiful reflection too\, and that is the beauty of it. You’re not just building your network. You’re building your capacity for gratitude\, for empathy\, for presence and just absolute generosity in showing up for\, yeah\, for the people that you are connected with. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So that’s the practice for this episode. Planting [00:07:00] seeds\, the three minute connection practice. Every day\, set aside three minutes to reach out to three people. No agenda\, just appreciation and connection. You can even tell them\, “No need to get back to me.” \nCORAL OWEN: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And just as a fun bonus\, if you would like to take this a little bit of a step further and really set the habit\, we’ve created a fun\, bonus 30 x 3 challenge. It’s a 30 day tracker to help you get and then keep this habit going. \nAnd it’s just a fun way to visualize the connections that you’re building\, and sort of see your “Garden of Outreach” grow over the month. And we’re going to link a printable version in the show notes for your reference. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks so much for joining us for this episode of Practicing Connection. If you found it helpful\, share with a friend or colleague who might enjoy a simple way to nurture their relationships. \nWe’ll be back next week with another practice. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:08:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/planting-seeds-3-minute-connections-that-transform-your-relationships/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/adobestock_1067931833-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251023T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251023T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251023T100013Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251208T164350Z
UID:10001638-1761199200-1761238800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Cultivating an Engaged Attitude
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xODAyNDgzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTgwMjQ4MzQtY3VsdGl2YXRpbmctYW4tZW5nYWdlZC1hdHRpdHVkZS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE4MDI0ODM0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 43) \nHow do teams build real momentum and commitment together?  \nDiscover how small shifts – like rotating leadership and showing authentic presence – can spark engagement and creativity in group projects. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica take a real-life approach to cultivating an engaged attitude – essential for building commitment and making group projects thrive. \nThey explore the power of rotating ownership in meetings\, why engagement ebbs and flows for everyone\, and how showing up – whether as a leader or a supporter – fuels stronger teams. \nJessica shares practical strategies to move beyond autopilot\, including rotating facilitation\, intentional participation\, and appreciation. \nTogether\, they reveal how engagement is built day by day\, with honest effort\, small shifts\, and shared leadership. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. Today we’ll be talking about cultivating an engaged attitude. It’s a key to building commitment and advancing group projects\, and Jessica is going to be sharing a practice with us. \nJessica\, how’s your week going? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey Coral. I’m doing pretty well this week. You know\, as I started to think about this topic\, I realized that most of the time I stay on track and maintain good momentum. Kind of chugging along. \nBut like anyone\, there are times when I just don’t feel as engaged\, or I get distracted or I notice that I am participating mostly because it’s what’s expected in that moment. \nI have a feeling that those moments happen for a lot of people\, maybe everyone. And it’s just kind of part of the normal rhythm of work. But I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot this week as I’ve been preparing for this. \nCORAL OWEN: I really\, as always\, appreciate you [00:01:00] sharing that. I think everyone cycles between\, you know\, various levels of focus and autopilot\, and it actually really makes me appreciate those moments when something shifts\, either for myself or someone else\, and suddenly we’re all a little bit more invested again. \nRight? So maybe this is actually kind of one of the more honest ways to begin this conversation about engaged attitudes today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: By not claiming that we’re engaged all the time. \nCORAL OWEN: All the time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: No. Exactly. I think that part of cultivating an engaged attitude means noticing those moments and kind of getting a little curious about what helps us reconnect\, or even just admitting that\, “Today I’m here because I should be\,” which I know we just talked about this\, right. \nDon’t do things just because you should. But just showing up is okay sometimes\, especially if you notice that like\, “You know what\, today I’m just showing up.” So sometimes starting there is the most authentic choice we can make. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And as [00:02:00] always\, we do love to extend the invite to you all our listeners to let us know what’s inspiring you. So you can always drop us a note via email at Practicing connection@oneop.org\, we do see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you this week. \n– break – \nAll right. That honesty gives us such a great starting point for today’s conversation. Jess\, let’s learn a little bit more about cultivating an engaged attitude\, and can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’re gonna be sharing today\, and why you chose it specifically? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, of course. I really wanted to focus on rotating ownership today. Rotating roles more specifically in meetings rather than just kind of asking everyone to be engaged\, and giving tips on how to do that. Although I do have a few tips on that because I’ve noticed that when the groups I’ve worked with switch up who takes the lead\, so whether that’s running a meeting\, guiding a [00:03:00] discussion\, sharing observations and feedback\, running different parts of a project\, it’s a really small but powerful way to get everyone involved at different times. \nAnd so teams with shared leadership roles can see more commitment and more creativity and stronger group bonds because the work isn’t just falling on a few people. \nYou know\, it kind of gives each person a real stake in the group’s progress. And as I’ve noticed myself sometimes\, stepping up or supporting someone else as they step up\, which I think is really important sometimes \,just stepping up or supporting someone is exactly what helps you move out of autopilot and kind of back into engagement. \nAnd like we talked about in the opening\, there are days when you’re not leading and it would be easy to tune out. But in those moments\, engagement might mean\, well\, it might mean showing up\, right? We have those days\, but it might mean also [00:04:00] paying closer attention. Asking a question\, giving genuine shout out to someone who’s trying something new\, or just supporting the person taking on a leadership role by trusting their process and participating fully in it. \nSo rotating ownership I think can help everyone reconnect\, whether you’re upfront or in a support role. \nCORAL OWEN: I love this idea of this practice. So how to actually go about it. Jess\, could you walk us through how a team might try this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. So\, this is two steps with a third optional step. The first step is to actually rotate leadership. So you could rotate leadership for parts of a project\, for meetings\, or even for individual meeting agenda items or roles. But let’s focus on a standing meeting. The easiest way to do this is to set up a schedule and rotate the meeting facilitation\, even if it’s just for a 15 minute standing meeting. \nThe meeting facilitator’s job is going to be to ensure [00:05:00] that you connect to the meeting’s purpose and guide the agenda. Basically\, the meeting facilitator would engage fully with the why and the how of the meeting. Even if all you do is rotate who the meeting facilitator is for your meetings\, it has the potential of having really big benefits. \nAnd a couple of tips: if it’s your turn to be the leader\, you might consider preparing a discussion point\, a reflection prompt\, or just simply checking in with the group on something meaningful. Or\, you might consider asking for feedback. Inviting the quiet voices\, right? That’s a tip for facilitation. \nIf there’s always one or two people who are speaking up\, make sure those who aren’t speaking up as much have some space too\, and make sure to model openness so you could ask others and you could share yourself. “What are your hopes about this project?’ Or\, “What could make our work together smoother?” \nOkay. Step one is really just the rotating leadership. Step two\,. [00:06:00] if it’s not your turn to be the leader\, you’re going to practice presence. If you aren’t leading or facilitating\, you still have ownership over your presence. Again\, sometimes we recognize sometimes just showing up is all you can give that day. \nBut most of the time you’re going to be able to challenge yourself to bring two unique things. First\, maybe a question or reflection. So this means asking an honest question\, sharing maybe a brief observation or appreciation presenting a creative solution or voicing a hope for the team’s process\, even if it’s really tiny. \nAnd then the second thing that you could challenge yourself to bring is genuine appreciation\, right? So this means that you could actively watch and listen for opportunities to celebrate wins\, or share appreciation for something a team member did or said during the meeting or in their recent work. \nAnd if you’re stuck on that\, if you’re like\, “I didn’t hear anything\,” you could start by [00:07:00] acknowledging the person leading\, right? So\, “Thanks for guiding us through this\,” or\, you know\, “I like the angle that you’re bringing\,” or\, “I enjoyed the way you facilitated the reflection.” Whatever that is\, that’s where you could start. \nSo\, challenge yourself to either ask a question or a reflection\, and share a genuine appreciation\, or do both of those things for a bonus. So this step is really about pushing yourself gently to kind of move from passive to present. Sometimes all it takes is a thoughtful comment or a gesture of support to be engaged\, and what those two things are doing\, the rotating of the facilitation role in a meeting and the others who are not facilitating or leading the meeting making a point to be engaged in one of those two ways. It’s really helping to build a culture\, a team\, or a group culture that is engaged. \nOkay\, step three is the optional step. I think it could be really powerful [00:08:00] if you choose to do this\, but I know that not all teams like this would not be something that you would have the time to do always. But if you can do it\, I think it would be awesome. \nSo at the end of the meeting\, take a moment or think through this yourself. How did it feel to lead or to intentionally support the leader? You guys can discuss this\, or you could just think about that. “So how did it feel to lead or to intentionally support the leader?” Did rotating roles nudge you out of autopilot even briefly\, and maybe what new perspectives or creative ideas surface? Did anyone seem more present? \nIt’s okay if engagement doesn’t look or feel dramatic\, just being a little more present\, a little more open can bring momentum over time. \nCORAL OWEN: I just love this\, Jess\, and it really is so flexible depending on what sort of structure and culture your team has. [00:09:00] There’s something that I think every person can take away from this. And it also reminds me of what you shared at the top of today’s episode about sometimes just chugging along until you’re pulled into action. \nThe rotating roles and even just the act of noticing and participation. It just means everyone has moments to be seen. Step up\, even if it looks different each time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and you know\, because it looks a little different every time\, some really rich discussions and ideas can come out of it that maybe wouldn’t have happened otherwise. \nCORAL OWEN: 100%. So first off\, I do want to say just thank you so much for sharing today’s practice\, and we want to thank all our listeners for joining us for today’s episode as well. If you did enjoy today’s episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. \nBe sure to tune back in next week. We’ll have a new episode and a new practice for you. And until then\, you know what it is – keep practicing. \n[00:10:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/cultivating-an-engaged-attitude/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/5-3-e1770154569908.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251016T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251016T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251016T100058Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251016T215409Z
UID:10001637-1760594400-1760634000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Shifting from “Should” to “Get To” for Renewed Energy at Work
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzk5NTQzOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5OTU0Mzgtc2hpZnRpbmctZnJvbS1zaG91bGQtdG8tZ2V0LXRvLWZvci1yZW5ld2VkLWVuZXJneS1hdC13b3JrLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc5OTU0MzglMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 42) \nWhat powers you at work: pressure or purpose? This episode gives you one simple language hack to turn daily obligations into energizing opportunities. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral explore the powerful impact of language on motivation and energy at work. \nBuilding on last episode’s Motivation Mapping\, they introduce the “Should-to-Get To” reframe – a simple\, real-time habit that helps replace pressure and obligation with purpose and appreciation. \nCoral shares practical steps to notice “should” statements\, reframe them\, and align daily tasks with intrinsic motivators like growth and service. \nListeners can expect: \n\nactionable advice\nthoughtful reflection questions\, and\nreal-world examples of how language shapes our experience and energizes our workday.\n\nLinks\n\n“Should To-Get To” Worksheet.pdf\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about motivation again\, and specifically how the language we use can either drain us or energize us. We’re exploring how shifting from “I should” to\, “I get to” can change the way we approach our professional roles. \nHey Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, Jessica. I’m doing really well\, thanks. I’m quite excited about this conversation today because it builds on the practice we shared\, I think a couple episodes ago\, about motivation mapping\, and that practice helps us step back and see whether we’re being fueled more by extrinsic motivators like deadlines\, or recognition\, or intrinsic motivators like purpose\, values and things of that nature. \nThe practice we’re talking about today\, it’s like the quick everyday version of that and helps us notice in the moment when we’re running on [00:01:00] shoulds\, and shift our energy to the get to’s. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I always like to say\, don’t should all over yourself is\, well\, I love that it sounds like motivation mapping is the reflection piece\, and this kind of reframe is the habit that you can carry into your daily life. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, 100%. And it is just a really practical\, real-time way to reconnect with that intrinsic motivator\, and it’s just something that you can have in your hip pocket to access on the fly when you need it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Well\, as always\, we’d love to hear from our listeners. Drop us a note at Practicing connection@oneop.org and let us know how you’ve caught yourself saying I should\, and turned it into\, I get to. \n– break – \nLet’s dig into this should to get to reframe. Coral\, can you walk us through what it looks like as a practice?[00:02:00]\nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So even if it sounds a little cliché\, the words that we use with ourselves\, they truly do matter. And when we say “I should\,” or\, “I have to\,” we’re typically operating out of extrinsic motivation. So external expectations\, pressures\, obligations\, and that language makes these tasks. Or can make these tasks feel heavy and draining. \nAnd when we shift to an\, “I want to\,” or\, “I get to\,” we’re reframing the same task in terms of intrinsic motivation. Things like purpose\, meaning\, or growth. And then suddenly like magic\, the task can feel a little bit lighter\, intentional\, or more connected to our values. \nAnd I do want to say\, I don’t want this to come off as like\, you know\, “Oh\, there’s a silver lining in everything\,” because there are some really heavy things or just sort of mundane\, you know\, root things that we move through on a day to day. \nBut really connecting these back to the benefit and the value and the purpose is really where this practice holds its [00:03:00] power. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. What I’m noticing here\, in what you’re saying\, is that it’s not about pretending\, right? It’s not saying\, “I get to\,” instead of “I have to.” It’s not about pretending just to move through your day. It actually is about trying to connect it back to something that matters to you. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. A hundred percent yes. Thank you for saying that\, Jess. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So\, tell us about the practice. Let’s go through it. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So like I said\, it’s very simple and straightforward. Step one is identifying your shoulds. A great place to start is your to-do list. So\, for instance\, if you’re just getting in touch with this practice at the start of your day\, you can jot down three tasks that are on your to-do list that you’ve been thinking of as shoulds or have tos. \nSo for example\, “I have to answer these emails\,” or\, “I really should prepare for this meeting.” From there\, step two is reframe these shoulds or have to’s with get to\, and you’re going to take each one and rewrite [00:04:00] as I get to\, but tie it back. And this is really the crux of this\, is you’re gonna tie it back to something meaningful\, like one of your key values\, for instance\, or something you enjoy. \nSo a reframe of those two examples from step one would be\, instead of\, “I should answer these emails\,” “I get to support people who are counting on me for my input and expertise.” Instead of\, “I have to prepare for this meeting\,” “I get to help shape decisions and share my expertise and make an impact from there.” \nStep three is just notice a shift\, however slight it may be. So you want to say that reframe vision out loud again. It doesn’t change the task\, but it changes the energy that you’re bringing to it and you’re giving it. \nAnd from there\, step four\, carry it forward. See if you can use this throughout your day and notice when you may catch yourself saying should or have to. \nAnd you know\, just try pausing\, reframing and see how that may change your perspective even in the slightest of [00:05:00] angles. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I really like how simple that is. It makes me think about a time very recently that I had a big deadline for a presentation I was giving. I kept telling myself\, “Okay\, I have to get this done. I have to get this done. I need to work on this.” And it felt really stressful. If I had kind of reframed it as\, “I get to share important information with my colleagues\, or\, “I get to share about my work with my colleagues because I do a lot of work that my colleagues don’t know about.” \nAnd so\, it was really actually an opportunity for me to share what I’m doing with them. I think it would’ve felt more purposeful. And in the end it did feel perfect\, right? I delivered it and it felt great. But leading up to that was stressful. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, like when you can find and tap into that deeper purpose in the process of the doing of the thing\, when we tend to feel the most stress\, rather than just like you’ve arrived at the finish line. And now we’re like seeing the impact and seeing the purpose and connecting in real time [00:06:00] with all of the buildup. \nThat’s exactly it. That task\, that process\, it didn’t change\, but your relationship to it while you’re still\, you know\, feeling the deadline and feeling the heat maybe a little bit. That’s the thing that changes. \nAnd this ties right back to what we talked about with the motivation mapping episode from a couple weeks ago\, is when you’re stuck in this should orientation or should language\, again\, we’re relying on these extrinsic factors like the deadline or meeting someone else’s expectation sort of parameters. \nAnd again\, yes\, it does work in the short term. It keeps things on track\, but it can drain us and our energy. And when we shift to the get to\, we’re reframing it in the lens and in the orientation of intrinsic motivators like our purpose\, our growth\, alignment with values. And that is just such a renewable\, energetic resource. \nAnd it’s what sustains us when things get hard or feel like a little bit of a slog\, and especially or [00:07:00] more long term. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know\, kind of like what we said earlier\, it sounds like the mapping exercise is kind of the bigger picture reflection\, and the should to/get to reframe is the micro practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. These truly compliment each other. The mapping can help you see those patterns from a more macro level\, and the reframing is really that real time practice that can help you. In a manner of just a couple seconds\, stay aligned in the moment and tap back into\, you know\, what truly is the purpose and the sustaining force behind all of the efforts. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, I brought along a couple of questions that our listeners can reflect on as they try the practice. The first one is what’s one should that feels heavy in your work right now? It’s a really great place to start. What feels heavy in your work right now that you’re telling yourself you should do? \nHow could you reframe it into an I get to [00:08:00] that connects with your values? And then finally\, when you make that shift\, what happens to your energy or your sense of motivation? \nCORAL OWEN: I love those questions. Those are so\, again\, just so straightforward. But can really just even in the span of a few minutes\, by pausing on those questions\, it can help shift the entire tone of our day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s the practice for this week. The should to/get to reframe. We’d love to hear what you discover when you try it out. Email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org and share your reflections. \nCORAL OWEN: Also\, if you would like a worksheet to guide this practice\, check out the show notes. We have created a template where you can write your shoulds and reframe them as get to’s. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Thanks for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and send it to a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \n[00:09:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/shifting-from-should-to-get-to-for-renewed-energy-at-work/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251009T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251009T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251009T100145Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165848Z
UID:10001635-1759989600-1760029200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Take Charge: Small Shifts to Grow Your Autonomy
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzk2MzgzOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5NjM4MzgtdGFrZS1jaGFyZ2Utc21hbGwtc2hpZnRzLXRvLWdyb3cteW91ci1hdXRvbm9teS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3OTYzODM4JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 41) \nIf you’ve ever wanted more ownership in your work or home life\, this episode is for you.  \nWe’ll walk through a quick autonomy audit – a simple way to discover and grow your personal agency\, starting today. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica dive into what it means to be a “manager of one” – someone who brings autonomy and ownership to even the smallest daily choices. \nThrough personal stories and research-backed insights\, they break down the Autonomy Audit: a practical\, step-by-step approach for identifying where you can claim just a bit more agency in work\, home\, and life. \nListen in to learn why autonomy matters\, how to spot opportunities for more control\, and ways to experiment with self-management – plus\, an easy challenge you can try this week. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks so much for tuning into the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. Today’s episode is all about completing an autonomy audit\, which is a powerful tool for becoming what I like to call a “manager of one.” \nMy cohost\, Jessica\, is here to guide us. Hey Jess. How are you feeling today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi Coral. I’m alright. It’s been one of those weeks though. I made this really optimistic plan\, and actually every Monday I start out and I’ll take a look at my calendar\, and I’ll block off time. So this week I blocked off time to do the work. I color-coded my calendar because I’m on different projects\, and so it’s easy for me to then\, at a glance\, see how much time I’m spending on each project. \nI did all of that. But the universe had some surprises for me: extra meetings that were unexpected\, last minute tasks\, a couple of tasks that I forgot about that I needed to deal with\, and really it just felt [00:01:00] like the universe was conspiring against me. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh man\, that is so relatable. Yeah. As a toddler mom and just as a general person rolling through life\, it’s very relatable. But I appreciate your honest\, honest reply for that. Always. Oh man. It totally is like\, “Here’s my plan\, and then life throws in a plot twister.” But I mean\, honestly\, just kinda getting back to the root of today’s theme\, that’s kind of what being a manager of one is all about\, right? \nIt’s finding those little places where we can take charge and shift and pivot so that things work with us the best that we can\, even when it kind of feels a little bit chaotic or even a little bit out of control. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And it’s funny too because I started out feeling totally in charge\, and so those plot twists\, while less interesting than some of my favorite television shows\, they’re incredibly real [00:02:00] life. So yeah\, exactly. That’s\, you know\, when things get out of control\, you can get back to that feeling of at least being a little bit back in control. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, one of my favorite things\, kind of on the side\, I like to do triathlons and stuff like that. But one of the best pieces of advice that my college coach ever gave me was\, he would say\, “The plan is written in pencil\, not in pen.” \nAnd so that approach\, it gives you that approach of like\, “Oh\, okay\, we can\, you know\, erase some stuff and kind of shift and pivot but be flexible\, but still\, like the overall progression is still in a forward direction.” \nSo\, yeah. Applicable in all areas of life apparently. And you know\, I know that there are people listening to this episode as well that are already probably going\, “Oh\, yeah. Very relatable.” And we always love to hear what y’all’s strategies are as well. \nAnd so\, if there are ways that you practice autonomy\, or help get a little bit more of an [00:03:00] ownership feel back in certain places in your life that may feel a little bit out of reach sometimes\, we would love to hear about them. You can drop us an email to practicing connection@oneop.org. and we do check and reply to every message. So thanks for sending those our way. \n– break – \nAll right. Before we dive into today’s practice\, Jess\, can you tell us what inspired you? And I know that you already alluded to this a little bit\, but what inspired you to focus on the autonomy audit and how does it relate? And this is kind of a two part question. How does it relate to becoming a manager of one? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I picked this practice because I’m actually most motivated and fulfilled when I have a little bit of freedom. It’s been like this ever since I can remember. So sometimes that means freedom over my schedule. Sometimes it means freedom over how I choose to tackle problem solving\, or how I prioritize [00:04:00] tasks when I feel trusted to make choices. \nI get a little boost of energy. And that’s kind of what the manager of one mindset is about\, recognizing where we can direct our own work\, even in small ways. And there’s some good science behind it too. There’s\, you know\, studies that show that even a little more autonomy increases our motivation\, our wellbeing\, and our creativity. \nThe autonomy audit is a really simple tool to notice and expand your agency. So when things get overwhelming\, it’s easy to feel boxed in or it’s easy to default to autopilot. But if we can pause and ask like\, “Where do I still have some agency?” That’s being a manager of one. Those small moments of ownership can really boost our engagement and satisfaction and help us spring into action. \nAnd modeling this on a team has a ripple effect too\, right? It has a [00:05:00] positive effect on everyone around you. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I’m just reflecting on scenarios\, you know\, working in teams and whatnot\, and where this has cropped up in just notable instances. And it does have that contagious energy\, like in a positive way\, and can help give everybody a boost around you. So I can’t wait to dig into this. And so yeah\, for the practical bit\, can you walk us through step by step how someone might try this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, definitely. If you’re listening and you want to join in\, you can grab a notebook\, or open up your notes app or you could just follow along mentally. \nSo the first step is listing your responsibilities. You might even already have a project list somewhere\, but this is about writing down your main responsibilities. \nSo start with the big picture\, like work\, home\, volunteering or personal projects\, but don’t stop there. Under each of those major headings\, list out a few specific projects or tasks that you’re currently working on. \nFor example\, in the work [00:06:00] category\, maybe you have a client presentation or a regular team meeting and updating a report\, right? Maybe you’ve got those three projects. \nAt home\, it might be planning meals\, organizing the garage\, or helping kids with homework. Breaking it down this way can give you a clearer view of where your autonomy might vary from project to project\, and you can also just look at one of these big buckets of responsibilities\, right? \nYou don’t have to write them all down and put projects under each one of them and do this activity with all of those projects. So you can just take a look at one of those big buckets of responsibilities\, like only look at your work projects or your home projects for this activity. So list your responsibilities. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s such a great point\, and I could see how this could easily kind of get overwhelming. And so I would\, yeah\, just focus on one specific area where you’re maybe feeling a little bit stuck\, or low energy. I think it sounds like a great place to start. \n[00:07:00] So where does it go from there? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yep. So after you’ve listed some areas of responsibility\, then you’re going to go through and rate your autonomy. \nSo to do that\, there’s a set of three questions that you can\, if you want to\, you can journal on them or you can just do a gut check and think about them. \nSo the first question is\, “How much control do I actually have here? \nThe next question is\, “Am I steering or am I mostly following directions?” \nAnd then the third question is\, “Is there an area I wish I had more say or flexibility?” \nAnd after considering those questions\, give each responsibility an autonomy rating\, high\, medium\, or low. You don’t have to spend a lot of time on this. \nLike I said\, you can let your gut be your guide because you can always go back and dig a little [00:08:00] deeper. You’re really looking for how much control you feel like you have right now\, so that you can assess whether there are any immediate wins you can get. \nAnd then the third step is\, choose a responsibility with a medium or low autonomy. And brainstorm ways that you can get a little bit more influence. So\, you could brainstorm a couple of tweaks to boost your sense of ownership for that responsibility. For example\, can you propose a new way of doing the task? Can you switch up your routine for one that you would prefer? Or could you take a low risk action on your own instead of waiting for approval? \nSo pick one tweak and try it this week. I didn’t mean for that to rhyme. Think of it as a micro-experiment afterwards. Then you can notice\, did you feel more engaged\, energized\, or confident? \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, like a little bit of a pilot test. I like that. Jess\, do you have [00:09:00] any examples of how you’ve done this in your own personal life? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I do. So prepping for this episode actually got me thinking about a project where I was stuck and I was waiting for feedback that never came. And it was kind of a sticky situation because our team was trying to move forward on something\, and everyone was so busy\, right? And I asked for feedback and it was really difficult to get it. \nSo I actually ended up sketching out my own plan\, and then I shared that with my team. It felt really risky because I like to be more collaborative than that\, right? And in my head\, I was not being collaborative by doing this thing on my own. \nBut actually\, it turned out that it actually got things moving. People had something to react to. They actually appreciated having a starting point. And then they could build on my ideas. And so that’s when I realized that I was actually practicing being a manager of one. So I was [00:10:00] taking that initiative\, not waiting for permission and just making the first move. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a great example\, and there’s so much to be said for creating your own momentum\, it can kind of have like a snowball effect too in a positive direction. I love that example so much. It’s a lot of momentum and confidence\, not just for you\, but also for your team as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, exactly. So here’s our challenge: if you’re listening\, try an autonomy audit and take a small intentional step toward becoming a manager of one\, and then notice what shifts for you. \nDo you have a little more energy or engagement\, or maybe a creative spark that kind of came out of nowhere? \nWhether it works perfectly or surprises you\, or it turns into a learning moment\, share your story with us. We’d love to learn from your experience. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, this was a great one for sure. And this is a wrap for today’s episode. \nThanks Jess so much for sharing this practice with us\, and thank you all for joining our conversation today on [00:11:00] becoming a manager of one. \nIf you found value in our conversation today\, please share this episode with a friend\, and we’ll be back next week with something new. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/take-charge-small-shifts-to-grow-your-autonomy/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/AdobeStock_269002913-scaled.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20251002T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20251002T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20251002T100133Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251002T204613Z
UID:10001634-1759392000-1759424400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Motivation Mapping: Leading with Purpose
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzkxMjI3MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc5MTIyNzEtbW90aXZhdGlvbi1tYXBwaW5nLWxlYWRpbmctd2l0aC1wdXJwb3NlLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc5MTIyNzElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 40) \nWhen was the last time work truly energized you?  \nToday\, discover how to pinpoint what’s fueling you and learn practical ways to reconnect with your deepest motivators – so your work supports both your goals and your values. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral reveal how you can use the Motivation Mapping tool to transform your work from simply meeting deadlines to leading with energized purpose. \nThrough a reflective\, step-by-step practice\, you’ll learn how to distinguish between intrinsic and extrinsic motivators\, notice your own balance\, and make small shifts that lead to long-term fulfillment and renewed drive. \nWhether leading a team or taking on a new project\, this process helps transform routine into meaning. \nTry Motivation Mapping for a current project: \n\nGrab the Motivation Mapping Worksheet\nIn one sentence\, share an intrinsic motivator that makes the work meaningful to you right now.\nThen\, post one small action you’ll take to better connect this project to your values this week.\n\nShare your insight with our LinkedIn group—let’s celebrate purposeful leadership and inspire each other with new ideas! \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, \nCORAL OWEN: And I am Coral. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And today we’re going to be talking about motivations\, specifically\, how to better understand what fuels us as leaders. And how to align our work with what matters most. Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, I’m doing great Jess. Thank you. This topic has been on my mind a lot recently\, to be quite honest. And so\, you know\, so often in leadership we hit stretches where we feel drained or disconnected and we wonder why. And sometimes it’s because we’re leaning heavily on external motivators\, like deadlines\, recognition\, pressure\, general routine. \nAnd none of these are inherently bad\, by the way\, just as a side note\, but those internal drivers that really sustain us and connect us to the work\, they can kind of get lost in the doing of the thing\, if you will. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. Yeah\, that really resonates with me. I’ve noticed that when I’m motivated by things like [00:01:00] learning growth or connection\, I feel energized even when the work is really challenging. But if I’m only driven by a deadline or not trying to let someone down\, I can feel depleted pretty quickly and burned out. \nI mean\, I know depleted kind of means burned out\, but I mean\, burned out\, like I think a step beyond depleted even. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. And this is where today’s practice of motivation mapping comes in. It’s a practice that helps us pause and really take a look at the mix of motivators that are in play. \nAnd so\, extrinsic\, intrinsic\, we’ll get into those in just a second. And once we see sort of how everything is comprised\, we can make small shifts to reconnect with our work with our values\, and strengthen our intrinsic motivation to better sustain our energy. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right. This is very intriguing. Coral\, can you share a little more about what motivation mapping is and why you selected it? \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So motivation mapping is a tool for taking [00:02:00] stock of what’s driving you in a given project or area of responsibility. You can think of it like checking the fuel mix in your tank. \nAre you running mostly on extrinsic motivators\, like external rewards\, deadlines\, recognition\, or are you primarily fueled by intrinsic motivators\, things like purpose\, growth\, alignment\, learning\, like you said\, Jess\, that are really\, centered with your value sets. \nAnd like we just mentioned\, neither type of motivation is inherently better than the other. Extrinsic motivators keep us accountable and on track. But if they’re the only thing driving us\, like you already alluded to\, Jess\, we tend to burn out. \nIntrinsic motivators\, on the other hand\, are renewable. They sustain us through setbacks because the work itself becomes meaningful. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. Yeah\, this is fascinating. I remember reading a book a while back where they talked about one extrinsic motivator\, which was salary\, for example. You know\, an external reward for work done. \nAnd one of the things that they mentioned was [00:03:00] that the research shows that when you get to a certain amount\, that becomes less of a factor and that you need to focus on internal motivators. \nBut what I saw happening with that was people grabbing onto the\, “Oh\, people only need to make this much money\, and then we need to do the internal motivators.” And I think that it’s more nuanced than that. And so I’m excited for this activity. \nCORAL OWEN: So\, yeah\, that’s a wonderful example\, by the way\, Jessica. So here’s how you can try motivation mapping yourself. \nStep one. Pick a focus area. So you’re not going to tackle your entire portfolio\, okay? Just choose one project\, task\, or responsibility that you’re working on right now. \nFor example\, it might be leading a new initiative at work\, preparing a presentation\, bookkeeping\, managing a big transition for your team. \nStep two\, you’re going to list your motivators. You can draw two columns on a page\, one for intrinsic and one for extrinsic. [00:04:00] For the intrinsic column\, write the motivators that come within things like\, “I care about impact\, I’m learning new skills\, this connects with my internal values.” \nThe extrinsic column\, jot down the external drivers. “There’s a deadline. Getting a great salary from this. My team or boss expects us. I’ll be evaluated. People are depending on me.” Things of that nature. \nStep three – there’s only four steps by the way – step three is you’re going to just take notice of the balance. Not judge it. Just notice it. \nSo look at your list and circle of motivators that feel really strong right now. They’re kind of primary ones. Do they fall all in one column? And what does that tell you? This reflection piece about your current experience of this work\, is it primarily externally dominated or internally? \nThen step four\, if you notice that you’re running mostly on extrinsic motivators\, ask yourself\, “How can I reconnect this task with something that feels intrinsically meaningful to me?” \nFor example\, if you’re [00:05:00] writing a report\, mainly because it’s due and that can\, you know\, kind of grind the gears a little bit sometimes\, try reframing it as perhaps a chance to highlight your team’s contributions or clarify a bigger vision\, something along those lines\, and that shift\, it taps into purpose. \nWhich is far more sustaining\, and it really can give us a bigger\, broader context about the impact of what’s going on. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. I really like how practical this is. You know\, sometimes we don’t realize we’re running on fumes until we stop and look at what’s fueling us. And I can attest to this. I often don’t realize that I’m running on fumes until I’m forced to stop and look at what’s fueling me. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. And you know\, for our listeners\, having a few additional reflection questions as you try to map out your motivation may help anger you. So here are a few that we might suggest. \n“When was the last time you truly felt energized in your work? What values were being honored in those moments?” [00:06:00]\nAnother one: “Looking at your current responsibilities\, where are you noticing a potential imbalance in your motivators?” \nAnd then a third to kind of bring this home: “What’s one small way that you can reconnect to your values in that area this week?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, those are awesome prompts. You know\, even taking five minutes to think them through could shift how you approach. I mean\, I think we’re often sharing prompts like this\, these kind of big questions and it feels it could feel really big. \nDon’t let that scare you. Just look at the question and let your mind do the work and just spend a few minutes thinking through them and that could shift how you approach your work. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And again\, this shift doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s not even a fundamental shift of how we’re working. It’s just a matter of shifting perspective\, and even these small reframes can reconnect us to our deeper motivation. \nMaybe instead of\, “I have to get this done\,” you think\, “This is gonna help create a better experience for the people that I’m [00:07:00] serving.” \nAnd that little alignment with values can change the entire energy that you’re bringing to the work and to your day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and you know\, it seems like this is something that leaders could use with their teams too. So like asking your team\, “What’s motivating us about this project?” Or asking a group\, right? \nIf you’re working on a coalition with others\, ask yourselves\, “What’s motivating us about this project?” \nThat could really spark a conversation that helps the people that are involved in that team or that group feel more connected\, and less like they’re just going through the motions or they’re just coming together\, choosing a task\, and then going and doing the task\, right. \nCORAL OWEN: I absolutely love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well. Awesome. Thanks so much Coral for sharing this. \nThat’s it for today’s practice on motivation mapping. We’d love to hear what you discover when you try it. You can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org and share your reflections. \nCORAL OWEN: Also a little bit of a [00:08:00] bonus freebie for this episode. \nIf you would like a worksheet to walk through this practice step by step along with the reflection questions as well\, just check the show notes for this episode and we have a downloadable template that you can use. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks again for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and send it to a colleague or a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a fresh episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/motivation-mapping-leading-with-purpose/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
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DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250925T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250925T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250925T100041Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T170029Z
UID:10001627-1758787200-1758819600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Scaling Your Skills: Feedback & Mentorship That Works
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg4NDEzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc4ODQxMzQtc2NhbGluZy15b3VyLXNraWxscy1mZWVkYmFjay1tZW50b3JzaGlwLXRoYXQtd29ya3MuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg4NDEzNCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 39) \nFeedback and mentorship aren’t just buzzwords – they’re the shortcuts to better skills\, stronger confidence\, and real momentum.  \nDiscover a simple\, practical approach that makes getting feedback and finding a mentor less intimidating – and highly actionable! \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral dig into the roles of feedback and mentorship in professional growth. Coral shares a step-by-step method that makes seeking input approachable and turns it into real progress. \nLearn how to choose the right people to ask\, reflect on what you hear\, and take small\, sustainable actions. \nPlus\, find out how to invite mentorship into your journey – even if you don’t have a formal mentor. Perfect for anyone who wants to develop new skills\, boost confidence\, and foster authentic connections at work. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about feedback and mentorship for skill growth\, and Coral’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hi Coral. How are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jess. I’m doing well. Yeah\, as I was preparing for this week’s episode\, I was reflecting really heavily on the role that mentorship has played in my own professional experience\, particularly most recently in scaling a business. \nAnd it’s only been after several years of flying solo before I finally realized that I could save myself so much heartache and also have such a greater impact if I had sought support from a mentor\, which is\, you know\, I’m a couple years deep into a very formalized\, coaching and mentorship program\, which is\, it’s been wonderful. But it took me a while to get there and yeah\, I just\, wow\, it’s made such a difference. \nBut it can be tough to ask for that level of support. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah. [00:01:00] I love that perspective. It really does take courage to ask for feedback directly. I’ve been involved in several training and coaching programs\, a big part of the program involved obtaining feedback. And\, you know\, it’s often helped me make changes\, which a lot of people would expect\, right? \nWhen you’re getting feedback\, a lot of people feel like\, “Oh\, well that’s about\, you know\, changing and getting better.” I would say for me\, even more so\, it’s helped me see strengths that I have that I didn’t notice. Other people knew\, other people could see it\, but I didn’t notice them until someone started to point them out to me. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that and that’s such a perspective shift I had as well of help other people who are seeing us doing the thing or cultivating the skill or process\, or whatever it is that we’re looking to elevate and hone\, and they can often see things from\, well\, they are seeing it from a different perspective and helping us lean into the things that we’re strong in. And further hone [00:02:00] those pieces\, help level up the things. \nAnd then\, you know\, maybe shift\, pivot a little bit and we’re actually getting into that today. But\, yeah\, a lot of people just think that they’re\, “Oh\, feedback.” Like\, “I don’t wanna ask people how\, you know – ” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: – “Like I already know\, I’m already\, I’m so hard on myself. I already know how terrible I am. I don’t need anyone else to point it out!” \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. So this is definitely a different framework for perspective that is not just like\, “Hey\, you could really use some work on X\, Y\, and Z.” \nIt’s about that really holistic perspective of receiving feedback or even developing a more formalized mentorship relationship\, if you so desired. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, before we move on\, I’ll just quickly give a little bonus exercise here. One of the best questions that I was asked\, when I was trying to get feedback in one of these programs was\, they told me to ask\, “When I walk into a room\, what shows up when I do?” And people gave me feedback on that\, and that was pretty interesting. \n[00:03:00] It was pretty cool. But let’s learn more about feedback and mentorship for skill growth\, Coral. Tell us a little bit about the practice that you’re going to be sharing today and why you chose it. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. So\, much of professional development really happens outside of these formal trainings and courses and conferences that we\, you know\, do attend from time to time. But once you decide that\, you want to keep growing a skill or seeking it out and cultivating\, that the real work is in weaving it into your day to day\, not just in that\, you know\, kind of finite space that we’re learning about it or you know\, kind of developing that brain awareness of it. \nAnd so feedback and mentorship are two of the most effective ways to do that. They give us outside perspective\, accountability\, encouragement. But also as we already noted\, asking for feedback or arranging mentorship\, it can feel intimidating. It can also\, could just feel like\, I hate to say that like a burden\, you know\, just kind of a heavier load to add to both our plate\, but also to ask someone else who already is so busy [00:04:00] to take on that\, level of guidance and mentorship. \nAnd so I wanted to share a really simple structured practice that makes it very attainable\, very easy to access\, and hopefully just something that is a very\, approachable way to go about this. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well that sounds super useful. Let’s walk through the practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Sure thing. So here’s a practice that you can try next time. You want to develop a skill more deeply in your place or professional space. The first step is of course\, choosing the right person. So think about someone who you have seen applying the skill\, or who interacts with you in the context where you’re trying to grow. \nAnd it doesn’t have to be a supervisor. It can be a peer\, a colleague\, even someone that you support. And sometimes the end user perspective is actually the most helpful. So from there\, once you’ve settled on this person\, step two is\, or perhaps a little bit in tandem\, using a simple framework in asking for feedback and one that I have leveraged in the past. \n[00:05:00] Jess\, I think\, you know\, in kind of our pre-show conversation\, you mentioned that you’ve used this before\, with a slightly different spin. I’ve come to call it start\, stop\, continue. Here’s how it works. Just very straightforward. So this is asking\, “What’s something new that I could start doing that would help me use the skill more effectively\,” or something of the sort\, right. \nNumber two here\, stop. You can ask what is\, and this is\, you know\, the question that you’re asking of this person who is helping you along in this process\, you can ask them\, “What is one thing I’m doing right now that might be getting in the way of progress?” \nAnd then thirdly\, continue to ask\, “What am I already doing well that I should keep doing?” \nSo the reason I love this framework so specifically is that it makes feedback concrete and balanced. And you’re not just hearing what needs fixing\, you’re also hearing what’s already working\, which is really important for motivation\, but also just for that holistic [00:06:00] perspective like we talked about. \nAll right\, so step three is reflecting and acting. Once you’ve gathered this feedback and had that input from your mentor\, from your experience: write it down\, look for patterns\, and then choose one small doable action to try straight away. we actually talked about this in our prior episode last week about those just like bite-sized nugget actions that you can do\, rather than trying to\, you know\, just change everything straight away\, just choose one thing in a very specific context and just try that in a very\, minute sense. \nDon’t try to change everything at once. It can get a little overwhelming sometimes. So that’s just the very ground floor asking for feedback\, and it can be\, you know\, multiple times over\, or kind of a continuing sequence. \nIt can also just be a one-off\, like\, “Hey\, you know\, can we watch me do this thing\, and let me know what should I start doing? What should I stop and what should I continue?” \nIf you have something [00:07:00] that is a little bit meatier in nature\, or that may take more continual progress\, you know\, more of a long term\, you may want to explore mentorship\, and a mentor does not have to be a formal role. It can be someone who’s a step or two ahead of you and the skill you’re developing. And when you’re reaching out you might say\, “I’m working on developing this skill and I really admire how you approach it. Would you be open to occasional check-ins or giving some advice as I keep practicing?” \nAnd by and large most people will simply be flattered that you asked and oftentimes are happy to share their experience. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean\, like you said\, Coral\, in our pre-conversation\, before we started recording\, I love the start\, stop\, continue framework. I’ve used it with groups in a totally different angle. It really does though in this context\, it makes feedback less overwhelming for both the person asking and the person giving it. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent it\, it just lowers the [00:08:00] barrier\, right? And so instead of\, “Hey\, can you give me some feedback?”\, that can feel really huge both to you and to the person that you are liaising with. And instead being very specific and giving three small buckets that that person who’s advising or supporting you can fill\, just\, yeah\, it’s a lot more straightforward and specific and just clear. \nThere’s clarity around it. And the mentorship element\, if you choose to dig in a little bit deeper\, it builds on that and you can still continue using that start\, stop\, continue framework. And it just gives you that ongoing perspective and encouragement as you integrate your new skill into your daily work. \nContinue to hone whatever practice it is that you’re cultivating and leveling up what you’re doing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, that is it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to send it to a friend who might benefit. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:09:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/scaling-your-skills-feedback-mentorship-that-works/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/12957118165_e0a5b1251d_k.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250918T060100
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250918T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250918T100124Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250929T140117Z
UID:10001625-1758175260-1758214800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Don't Keep It to Yourself! Creating a Culture of Shared Learning
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzg1NTg3NSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc4NTU4NzUtZG9uLXQta2VlcC1pdC10by15b3Vyc2VsZi1jcmVhdGluZy1hLWN1bHR1cmUtb2Ytc2hhcmVkLWxlYXJuaW5nLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc4NTU4NzUlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 38) \nWhat if the fastest way to master any skill was to teach it to someone else?  \nThis episode reveals how sharing your learning not only helps others – it solidifies your own growth\, strengthens your team\, and can transform your workplace culture. \nAre you holding on to valuable insights\, or passing them along? In this special round-up episode\, Jessica and Coral explore why teaching others is the secret weapon for growth. \nInstead of just one practice\, you’ll get a toolkit of real-world ways to share what you’re learning\, from quick tips to full team huddles. \nListen in to discover how knowledge sharing deepens your understanding\, boosts your confidence\, and creates a ripple effect far beyond your own desk. \nWhether you’re a seasoned leader or just starting out\, you’ll walk away ready to build a culture of curiosity\, generosity\, and ongoing development. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to this episode of Practicing Connection. I am Coral and I’m here with my co-host\, Jessica\, and today we’re diving into something a little different\, but super essential\, which is how to share what you’ve learned with others. Hey\, Jessica\, how’s your week going? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m good. Honestly\, this theme has been on my mind a lot. There’s something about wrapping up a learning journey and then turning around to share it that just feels right to me. But I also work in the education field\, so I guess that makes sense. I might be a little biased. \nCORAL OWEN: That does track. I love that though\, yeah. Any personal stories or moments from this week where you just found yourself wanting to shout\, like\, “I learned this\, everyone needs to know!”? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. As a matter of fact I’m in a systems thinking class right now\, and we have been talking about VMCL\, which stands for Vision\, Mission\, Capacities and Learning. I just finished the [00:01:00] portion that discusses developing your learning systems\, these are the systems of feedback that you set up to continually learn from. \nAnd the systems you set up so that your team can make the most of their professional development by sharing what they learn with others on the team. So\, super relevant to today’s topics\, and I do feel like I have to note that the class and the podcast converging at the same time was not planned. \nCORAL OWEN: But a very happy accident\, I think\, as Bob Ross would say. But yeah\, V-M-C-L\, that’s a new one for me. But I am so excited to dig into this more. And it is such a nice feeling when things align like that\, isn’t it? \nSo I know in previous episodes we typically zero in on like one practice specifically for our listeners to try\, but I was thinking maybe we shake things up a little bit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and there’s actually a pretty fascinating reason behind it. Studies show that when you teach others\, you [00:02:00] invest more effort\, you spend more time on the material and you achieve better outcomes\, even if your student is just a digital teachable agent. It’s called a protege effect. And this protege effect happens because teaching requires you to organize your thoughts to identify gaps and to explain ideas clearly\, which deepens your own understanding and memory. \nAnd I have to say\, I went down just the tiniest rabbit holes that I’m gonna bring up here right now. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that term\, “Those who can’t\, teach.” Have you heard that before? \nCORAL OWEN:Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It’s pretty derogatory and it’s really not helpful. And frankly\, it’s not even the original phrase that came from Aristotle. Aristotle said\, “Those who can\, do\, and those who understand\, teach.” \nCORAL OWEN: Oh. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And so it kind of\, yeah\, during I forget which play\, but during like a play\, they kind of messed with the [00:03:00] language a little bit. \nAnd it ended up turning into this long-term derogatory thing that we say basically\, “People who teach\, they teach because they can’t actually do the work.” And that’s not true at all. Teachers have to both be able to do it and they have to be able to stay on top of everything and understand. \nSo anyway\, this is why the protege effect works. It’s not just about mastering the content either. So reviews of decades of research show that regular knowledge sharing among employees leads to greater innovation\, to better team performance and stronger collaboration. So when knowledge sharing is part of your group’s routine\, it helps you grow\, adapt\, and succeed\, especially in times of change. \nBut here’s the thing\, most effective sharing doesn’t just happen one way. So research also shows that combining different types of knowledge sharing\, like mini workshops\, quick writeups emails\, peer coaching and more [00:04:00] actually builds a much richer culture of learning. \nThat’s why we’ve put together a roundup of practices today\, and I think we’ve done this a couple times in the last month and it’s been kind of fun. \nCORAL OWEN: It really has been. And it’s kind of like a smorgasbord or charcuterie of strategies. You can just take what works and\, you know\, try and iterate as you go through some different strategies. So\, yeah\, let’s do it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think you just invented something\, a “Charcuterie of ideas” instead of a smorgasbord. I love it. \nCORAL OWEN: I’ll take credit. I’ll take full credit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, please do. Okay. So the first practice that we pulled together is hosting a mini workshop or a “lunch and learn.”  \nIn my organization\, during the pandemic\, we actually did these learning popups where if you had knowledge to share\, you would just send everyone an email and say\, “Hey\, if you can make it great\, but I’m gonna do it this time\, this day\, and we’ll record it in case you can’t make it.” \nBut [00:05:00] whatever way works for you. This doesn’t need to be anything fancy. Just carve out 20 minutes\, 30 minutes to show your team what you’ve learned. Use a practical example and invite questions. Making it interactive actually will boost both your team’s retention and your own. \nCORAL OWEN: I just\, I love that idea of like a popup workshop or\, you know\, just something like\, “Oh\, hey\, I learned this thing\,” and just harnessing that energy and that excitement and then passing it along. You know\, I think too\, sometimes we kind of overcomplicate this idea of a workshop. Like it has to be this full blown training\, complete with slides and handouts and\, you know\, all of these knowledge checkpoints. \nAnd really just like you said\, even 15 or 20 minutes can be so useful to spark some great conversation and brainstorming\, even innovation. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And you can use slides if you want to\, especially if it helps you get your point across. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Whatever works for you. But let’s move on to the next one. So this next one is\, create bite-sized training resources. [00:06:00] So you could record a short video on a new tool that you’ve learned. You could write a quick how-to with or without screenshots\, whatever your preference. \nIt’s your resource. Or you could make a checklist to share in your team chat\, or if you’ve got a team wiki or you know\, some other space where you typically share things like that. This approach caters to different learning styles. So some people might prefer the checklist or they might prefer a video\, but it also caters to your own style of wanting to share information. \nSo\, catering to different learning styles is another element that is kind of found to increase knowledge\, retention\, and sharing at work. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I personally trend towards the videos. Screen capture with some of the voiceovers. But I love that there are so many formats\, especially leveraging different types of technologies these days for quick gathers of information with a little bit of an additive narration or whatever\, that make it so [00:07:00] easy to distribute and capture knowledge\, and share it along with people who may benefit from it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean\, I would say an incredible example of this is when you created a training video for me on how to post these podcast episodes to our WordPress page\, and I think it’s silent. And if it isn’t silent then\, you know\, I never heard the sound. But even when it was silent\, like I could see\, you know\, the mouse was circling a certain thing and clicking on it. \nAnd I still use that sometimes to remember if I miss something\, right? I don’t want to miss something. It was perfect. And then you posted it in a shared space and it’s an easy shared folder\, it was easy to find. \nSo\, let’s move on to the next one. This is another favorite of mine. Try doing one-on-one peer coaching. \nShowing a colleague firsthand how you’re using a new process or a new skill can really spark change and the peer tutoring effect actually boosts your own mastery as well. \nCORAL OWEN: Agreed. Jess\, this is actually one of my favorites as well\, and I’ve [00:08:00] noticed that when I take time to walk someone through a process\, I almost always catch myself noticing opportunities to elevate how something flows or help it work more smoothly. And teaching never fails to sharpen my own skills as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Alright\, next up\, if you love writing\, this is for you. \nYou can create and send a tips-and-tricks email or a mini newsletter to your colleagues\, or to whoever you’re trying to teach what you’re learning to. You could sum up your top learning points and how it’s helped you. This really makes the knowledge easily accessible and it creates a record for your team to refer back to and for you to refer back to. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. I think there are\, this was\, you know\, probably eight\, ten years ago when I first started a particular professional track in my life. There were a number of blogs that I would refer to about\, you know\, educational technology and learning so much from those just widely available resources. \nBut having [00:09:00] that sort of personal knowledge database to you to track your own journey\, which is something that we talked about in our previous episode. It’s really cool to see those skills develop as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I would say too\, if you do this one\, you could easily then turn it into I think the second practice we shared\, the creating bite-sized training resources. Like you could repurpose it too and vice versa\, right. \nSo next up we have team huddles and book clubs. I love this option. Team huddles or book clubs can offer a regular space for everyone to share what’s working for them. \nSo having these structured opportunities for exchange is linked to more resilient and innovative teams. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, this is something that I’ve actually done with colleagues throughout the years\, especially the book clubs. And initially some people were like\, “Oh\, I don’t have time every week to do this.” But sometimes it would kind of be like you said\, popup trainings. It would be kind of like a popup book club. \nLike if there was a particular book that a [00:10:00] few folks were interested in\, it’s like\, “Hey\, well let’s just do a popup book club for\, you know\, a particular four or six weeks\,” and then maybe it’d be dormant for a little while until the next quarter\, and then we kind of pop it back up or breathe more life into something else. \nBut yeah it’s just so fun when it’s sort of baked into the way that you work. And there is sort of that culture shift as well of\, you don’t have to overthink it\, it just becomes part of what you do. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. All right\, last one. Invite a teammate to shadow you as you try a new skill\, or run a live demo so others can see it in action. Interactivity like this\, including observation and hands-on trial\, is shown to significantly improve retention and understanding. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Things a hundred percent stick way better when we’re able to see them and experience them firsthand. You’re so right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so that’s why we did a roundup this time because the research is pretty clear that when sharing is varied\, [00:11:00] when you can employ more than one option when it’s regular and part of daily life\, everyone\, including the person doing the sharing\, learns more. They feel more confident\, and it contributes to a stronger\, more adaptable team. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. Yep. And you heard it here. So I would love to\, I know that we’ve got our mailbag open so we would love to hear if y’all try out some of these practices or combine a few\, and see what works. \nPlease share with us what’s working. Jess\, what is the best way for everybody to get in touch with us? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, so share your stories\, your struggles\, your wins at practicing connection@oneop.org\, and maybe we’ll feature them on a future episode. \nUntil next time\, keep learning\, sharing\, growing\, and of course\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/dont-keep-it-to-yourself-creating-a-culture-of-shared-learning/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250911T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250911T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250911T100155Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165812Z
UID:10001623-1757570400-1757610000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:5 Strategies for Integrating New Skills into Daily Practice
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzgyMTk3MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc4MjE5NzEtNS1zdHJhdGVnaWVzLWZvci1pbnRlZ3JhdGluZy1uZXctc2tpbGxzLWludG8tZGFpbHktcHJhY3RpY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzgyMTk3MSUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 37) \nAre you ready to move from  “learning” into doing ?  \nToday we’re sharing 5 strategies that can help you integrate new skills into your daily practice\, to reduce that overwhelm and remember what you’ve learned. \nCo-hosts Jessica and Coral are here to show us how to keep that momentum going\, so those skills don’t just stay in a notebook\, but actually begin to show up in your day to day. \nCoral has some practical\, approachable steps that anyone can try\, regardless of your role\, your team structure or where you’re based. \nThe hope is that as you listen\, you can take what speaks to you and adapt it to suit your own work and life. \nAnd don’t feel compelled or overwhelmed that you have to try them all at once\, or even all of them at all. You can just take what works for you\, remix\, adapt and pivot. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\nSend us a text\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. Today we’ll be talking about how to move from learning into doing\, specifically five strategies that can help you integrate new skills into your daily practice. My co-host\, Coral\, is here to guide us through today’s practice. Hey Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica. I’m doing really well\, thanks. I just finished facilitating a workshop last week and one of the things that came up in conversation was how energizing it can feel to leave professional development opportunities\, but a week later it kind of sometimes fizzles. It’s not a bad thing\, just\, you know\, noting reality. \nAnd that’s actually exactly what we’re going to talk about today is how to keep that momentum going\, so those skills don’t just stay in a notebook\, but actually begin to show up in your day to day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, I am so looking forward to this topic. I love this. Keeping those notes in the [00:01:00] notebook often happens to me. I can relate to that so much. So I’m really looking forward to hearing about what these practices are you’re going to be sharing with us\, and we would love to hear what strategies you use to apply skills in your work or daily life. \nSend us a note at Practicing connection@oneop.org. We see and respond to every message and we can’t wait to hear your ideas. \n– break – \nOkay\, let’s get into it. Coral\, can you walk us through these five strategies for building new skills into daily practice? \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So these are practical\, approachable steps that anyone can try regardless of your role\, your team structure or where you’re based. And so we’re going to be walking through each of the five\, and I’ll share each one\, along with some examples as well. And so my hope is that as you listen\, that y’all can take what speaks to you and adapt it to [00:02:00] suit your own work and life. \nBut please don’t feel compelled or overwhelmed that you have to try all of them at once\, or all of them at all. You can just take what works for you as always\, or you can remix them. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. \nCORAL OWEN: 100%. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, this sounds great. Let’s get going. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. So yeah\, let’s get right down to it. So the first strategy is all about micro goals. So when we learn something new\, it can feel overwhelming to apply it perfectly straight away. Micro goals break the skill down into bite-sized manageable actions. And so\, if you just learned a new communication technique\, for example\, your micro goal\, it might be to use it just once during a single meeting this week. \nSmall steps can make this skill less intimidating\, and it also gives you little wins that build confidence. It’s like training a muscle. It just\, you know\, builds that strength and momentum over time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I like that\, it’s less sort of\, “How do I overhaul everything\,” and more\, “How can I try [00:03:00] one thing in one moment?” \nCORAL OWEN: A thousand percent\, and we’re also reducing that friction to start by just a monumental degree. So\, okay. Our second strategy is one that we actually highlighted in the January 16th episode at the start of this year. A personal favorite\, not to play favorites\, but this one is habit stacking\, and the idea here is pairing your new skill with something that you already do regularly and often automatically. \nFor instance\, if you review your to-do list every morning\, you can immediately follow that with applying a new productivity technique that you’ve learned\, such as tackling your highest priority task first. And essentially this existing habit that we anchor into it becomes the trigger for the new one that you’re cultivating. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think\, if I remember right from that episode\, you had a fantastic example of like when you make your coffee\, ’cause you know\, you make coffee every morning\, that you pair that up with something else. I don’t remember what that was\, but I do remember it was a [00:04:00] great example because I also make coffee every morning. \nSo\, super practical. I use this often myself. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And yeah\, taking advantage of what’s already working with your daily rhythm helps keep this very approachable. And you’ll note that this is going to be a trend throughout all of these strategies\, is to really just grease the skids so that you can feel like you can take action easily\, quickly\, and keep it sustainable. \nAnd so straight into our third strategy\, which is daily reflection. So at the end of the day\, each day\, you can briefly check in with yourself asking\, “How did I use my new skill today? Did I use it?” Again\, these don’t have to be massive practices. This one can just be a 30 to 60 second check-in\, and maybe it’s a brief note in your planner or\, I know a lot of people were using bullet journals a while back. \nNot sure if that’s still in vogue. But\, you know\, maybe it’s just a little bullet that you mark in whatever your strategy: voice\, memo\, et cetera. The point is [00:05:00] simply to capture both the successes and the challenges. And this reflection also reinforces the new action. Helps you see patterns and trends over time. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, seeing those trends is really helpful. I did this for a while where I had a couple of personal goals\, because unfortunately I tend – fortunately or unfortunately – I tend to prioritize work. And so I had this period of time where I was trying to prioritize some personal goals. \nAnd I have to tell you\, it was super motivating to see the trend of when I was tracking it\, to see the trend of\, that I was actually spending time on a goal that I had. So you might not even realize you accomplish something a few times a week until you start to look at that. And that’s what I noticed as well. Like I actually was doing the things that I wanted to do\, but they were taking up less space in my brain. \nAnd so because I could see the tracking\, it helped to create some more momentum to keep it going. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. And I think too\, the piece here [00:06:00] is that these\, you know\, micro goals are\, you know\, things that we’re really breaking down to be so bite sized. It is such a brief touchpoint within our day that sometimes you even forget that you did it yesterday\, the day before. \nSo having that concrete documentation where you can see that trend over time\, it really just reinforces\, “Oh\, okay\, I’m actually doing the thing.’ And then\, you know\, that doing of the thing\, it can grow and grow over time into whatever you hope it is becoming. À \nAlright. Our fourth strategy is creating reminders and queues. So again\, you might see a little bit of overlap in some of these\, and that is okay. For this fourth strategy\, reminders and cues\, it really comes down to the fact that we are juggling a lot\, all of us. \nI know that to be true\, and so sometimes a helpful nudge can be exactly what we need. And so this reminder or cue can look as simple as a sticky note on your monitor\, on your desktop\, whatever. \nSometimes calendar alerts are helpful\, even digital prompts like [00:07:00] notifications or\, you know\, an alarm that is labeled on your phone. Whatever it is. So just a simple example might be if you want to trial a new question technique\, you can set a reminder for your calls or your meetings that says simply\, “Use open-ended questions.” \nAnd things like this\, these tiny triggers\, what they do is they just help bring that skill to the forefront of your brain when you actually need it. Rather than having it done in a notebook\, where you have to like go look for it and\, you know\, just again\, it’s just it brings it to top of mind when you actually have the space to use it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That is really\, I mean\, that’s just so realistic. Without reminders\, even the best intentions can get lost in the shuffle of a busy day. And can I just say\, as someone who teaches interpersonal communication\, the example you used of getting a message that you’ve sent to yourself that reminds you to use open-ended questions is just wonderful. \nCORAL OWEN: Thank you. Yeah\, and this is really\, it’s not about [00:08:00] willpower. This one specifically\, it’s about designing your environment so that skill has space to show up. \nAlrighty\, bringing it on home. This is our final one\, but certainly not the least of them all. And that is building the skill into meetings and processes. \nAnd I know this might seem it’s a little bit different in flavor than our other four\, I like this one though\, because it’s really cool and you’ll see why here in a second. But this one is\, it’s all about weaving your new learning into the structures that already exist. \nSo\, again\, just for instance\, to give this a little bit more\, give it some legs\, you might volunteer to lead a portion of a meeting where you’re using that skill\, or suggesting to add it to the team workflow. And the magic of this one is by embedding it into your regular work patterns. You make it part of the culture of\, you know\, your work team or\, you know\, your day-to-day life. \nAnd it’s not just an individual endeavor any longer. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: This one feels [00:09:00] really impactful\, because it’s not only enforcing your learning\, but it’s reaching entire teams\, and it’s kind of starting to build in maybe a culture of using the new things that you’re learning. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. This is truly one of the best ways to sustain change of any sort is when others are a part of it. It doesn’t just live in your head\, but it becomes part of our collective practices. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I really appreciate you sharing these strategies with us because they were super clear and super actionable. Thank you so much. \nCORAL OWEN: Thanks Jessica\, and since this one did have\, you know\, quite a number of things that we touched on\, I just want to do a real quick recap just to bring it on home. \nSo\, as a reminder\, the five strategies we discussed today were micro goals\, habits stacking\, daily reflection\, reminders and triggers\, and building skills into meetings and processes. \nAnd again\, just as a very warm reminder\, you do not have to [00:10:00] do all of these at once. You don’t have to do all of them ever. Just simply start with the one or two that resonate most with you\, and then build from there and see what happens. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Or don’t build. You don’t have to even build. If you don’t\, if it works really well for you\, then just keep going with it. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, please take a moment to share it with a friend or colleague. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/5-strategies-for-integrating-new-skills-into-daily-practice/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Yulia-Furman-Adobe-Stock.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250904T080000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250904T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250904T100144Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260330T202025Z
UID:10001621-1756972800-1757005200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:From Outreach to Impact: Extension’s Role with Military-Connected Communities. With Rachel Brauner and Karrie Calloway
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzc3NDYyOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc3NzQ2MjgtZnJvbS1vdXRyZWFjaC10by1pbXBhY3QtZXh0ZW5zaW9uLXMtcm9sZS13aXRoLW1pbGl0YXJ5LWNvbm5lY3RlZC1jb21tdW5pdGllcy13aXRoLXJhY2hlbC1icmF1bmVyLWFuZC1rYXJyaWUtY2FsbG93YXkuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzc3NDYyOCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 36) \nThis episode of Practicing Connection explores the incredible bridge-building work happening in Texas with guest Karrie Calloway – military liaison\, educator\, chef\, and advocate – who doesn’t just connect resources\, but transforms lives. \nJoin host Jessica Beckendorf and guest co-host Rachel Brauner for a compelling conversation today with Karrie Calloway\, Texas 4-H Military Liaison and a passionate advocate for military-connected families. \nKarrie shares her unique journey from farm-to-table learning and culinary arts to leading statewide initiatives that support youth\, families\, and thriving communities. \nIn this episode\, we discuss: \n\nThe daily work of connecting Extension agents\, volunteers\, and installations to create meaningful support networks.\nPractical\, high-impact ways anyone can do to include and empower military-connected families in their programs.\nThe crucial role of volunteers in building bridges for military youth and families.\nSustaining yourself in service-oriented work—and why ongoing connection matters.\n\nWhether you’re an Extension professional\, service provider\, volunteer\, or simply interested in community-building\, you’ll walk away inspired by fresh ideas and the power of purposeful connection. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/ \nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org \nSend us a text\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf\, and I’m so excited today to welcome not only our guest\, but also a guest co-host\, Rachel Bronner from OneOp. Rachel works with the Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service\, specializing in military and community health. She brings a ton of expertise supporting service members and families. Rachel\, welcome. Would you mind introducing yourself a bit? \nRACHEL BRAUNER: Hi. Thanks for having me. As you mentioned Jessica\, I support OneOp’s efforts\, especially within the lifespan caregiving area\, but I also serve as an extension program specialist for military and community health with Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service\, as you mentioned. And in this role I really develop and deliver educational programs that supports providers\, service members\, military families\, and those department defense civilians. \n[00:01:00] And a lot of my work really focuses on topics like Alzheimer’s disease and dementia\, caring for older adults and individuals with disabilities\, especially those when we think about maybe children with special healthcare needs. I also have done work surrounding mental health and alcohol and substance use. Then I also work closely with military professionals across the country to really help better understand caregiver needs and provide services that help reduce those challenges of caring maybe for either a wounded service member or\, as I mentioned\, those individuals with special needs. \nAnd then I’ve had the opportunity to really support prevention and education programs throughout the state of Texas\, really in those family support programs on Texas military installations. So a lot of the work that we’ve done here\, is work in partnerships with Joint Base San Antonio\, Fort Bliss and Fort Hood. \nSo I’m just excited to be here today and help support this podcast. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: One thing I didn’t mention is that this is your [00:02:00] first time on this podcast. I’ve been going through the different collaboration teams\, on all of our colleagues and collaborating on episodes like this. So I’m so happy to have you here and you do fantastic work\, Rachel. And I’m also looking forward to our conversation today. \nI’m also delighted to welcome our guest\, Karrie Callaway. Karrie is a true bridge builder with Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service in Harris County\, where she connects agriculture\, education\, health and community engagement to make a real difference. As the Texas 4-H military liaison\, Karrie leads programs for military connected youth and families supporting resilience\, leadership and life skills across Texas\, from military bases to local communities as well. Your experience\, Karrie\, I was just blown away. \nSo she’s also a certified chef and educator who creates innovative farm-to-table learning experiences for all ages. And she partners with schools and [00:03:00] organizations to bring nutrition and garden-based education into communities beyond her professional work. Oh\, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg\, by the way. With Karrie\, she’s got a lot of really cool experiences. Beyond her professional work though\, Karrie is also a military spouse and a parent\, roles that further inspire her passion for serving military families and building stronger\, healthier communities. Karrie \, welcome to Practicing Connection. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Thank you for having me. Thank you. Great introduction. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thank you. I mean\, it was a really difficult one because you have so many cool background experiences. So\, you have mentioned in a previous conversation we had that serving people has always been heavy on your heart. So when you think about your journey into extension and this focus on military families\, would you say the work found you or you found the work? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: The work definitely found me. I think it actually started a little bit from [00:04:00] childhood\, now that I think about it. Just again\, feeding the homeless and feeding kids\, or giving out toys during Christmas time. And then Extension finding me\, it just was a heartfelt thing to kind of serve my community\, because I grew up doing it. \nRACHEL BRAUNER: And Karrie\, your early experience is from growing up around farming\, your journey into the Extension program itself and the work that you’re doing\, and as Jessica mentioned\, those farm to table practices\, do you see some of the trends carrying throughout your work with the families today? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yes\, I definitely do. I grew up in a family catering company. So I grew up cooking my whole life. Again\, serving in hospitality and just that idea\, which I didn’t really know of\, again\, farm to table. I grew up\, you know\, during summertime\, coming to Texas and running around large landmarks. \nAnd so just that connectivity between [00:05:00] food and agriculture really was instilled in me as a very young child. But then to find Extension\, that has both these pivotal things that we do to serve our community\, we teach people how to cook and be healthy. alongside of this agriculture production of farming and livestock and 4-H and the idea of STEM education for youth. \nI think it’s like a streamline of all of the things that\, again\, was instilled in me as a child. And so to be able to translate that and actually teach that to the community\, it’s very heartfelt and it’s very fulfilling. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I would say Extension work definitely found me also. So that resonates with me a lot. Like it was just sort of a\, it’s almost like every\, all of my experiences leading up to that was preparing me exactly for Extension work. \nSo\, it sounds like you had a similar kind of [00:06:00] experience. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yes\, the journey of getting to extension is a very long one\, and people say I’m so young to have such a heavy journey. But\, I went and studied at a culinary school in New York called the Culinary Institute of America. And then once doing that\, I decided to move and go to Australia\, and I noticed just the agriculture production and when it relates to restaurant or restaurateur\, how that correlates. And I wanted to bring that experience back with me to America. So I went and studied plant and soil science\, and in that journey\, again\, Extension found me. \nWhile I was going to school\, I lived in Houston\, a lot of hospitality work while studying my undergrad\, and again Extension found me and I found building out different community gardens and just again\, while studying\, I wanted to be hands-on. It was very important for me. [00:07:00] So started building out these community gardens and Extension got word of me building out these community gardens in Houston\, and they came and sat and I fed them barbecue and I cooked for them and I went on this long-winded journey and they were like\, “You’re gonna be a student aide\, we’re gonna build you up.” \nSo all four years of my undergrad\, I was a student aide with Extension. And as soon as I graduated\, David Wright\, my director here in Harris County\, he picked me up and said\, “Hey\, we need you\, we need you as community engagement. You’ve been doing this work for four years in research\, on the community\, and it really has taken like wildfire.” \nI think the first two weeks of working for Extension\, Fox News called me and I was like\, wait\, what? What’s going on here? And they wanted more information and to talk about again\, agriculture production. \nSo it’s literally something that found me and then something that’s stuck. I love it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I didn’t realize that the answer to that question was going to be so literal\, that like literally they found you. [00:08:00] Incredible. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Incredible. Yes\, actually. So\, definitely\, I was interviewing and looking for work right after college and I got an email in the middle of an interview and it was from David Wright and he said\, “We want to interview for this community engagement job.” And I was like\, “Community engagement? I’m a chef and a farmer. How does that correlate?” \nI mean\, I do serve the community\, and then I realized what that entailed. And during my interview process\, I mentioned that I was a military spouse and he was like\, “Oh\, I have something else\, something great for you.” And I was like\, “What is it?” And he’s like\, “We work with these military families and these kids.” \nAnd he got really excited and fired up. And then I got really excited and fired up. And so it literally\, again\, the work found me and just the right time\, right moment. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. \nSo Karrie\, from your personal journey\, let’s zoom out a little\, [00:09:00] to the kind of work you do now. A really big part of your role is connecting people: extension agents\, installations\, community partners\, which we know isn’t always easy. Your role as a liaison is about building bridges\, between installations\, extension agents\, volunteers\, families. What does that look like day to day and what challenges do you face\, keeping those relationships strong given how often people rotate in and out. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yes. So what I really try to do at least every quarter is connect with not only the agents\, but also the installations\, and connecting the installations with the agent. So I do something called a virtual working call\, that allows the agents\, and again\, the installations to express themselves\, simply to have a platform to speak\, maybe round table\, if you will\, of some of the struggles that they’re personally having. \nMaybe possibly connecting with another agent in their area and/or [00:10:00] maybe some different needs\, equipment that they need to start a garden project and or some resources or funding resources or\, is there sub-award\, grant funding available\, to allow them to achieve their next goal or step. \nSometimes it’s as easy as shipping out STEM kits to the installation and providing a trainer to the folks that are working at the installation. But with the in and out rotation\, a lot of the installation workers are spousal support\, and so maybe they’re stationed somewhere else in the next couple of months. \nSo with that being said\, sometimes that transition between agent communication and installation communication kind of gets lost in translation. And so I just try to continue to build that relationship with directors there\, which is typically a stable person that is on the installation base alongside with the agent. \nAnd then just making sure that communication is streamlined and clear. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Do other states have liaisons like [00:11:00] you? I mean\, I know Wisconsin does\, I know that some are maybe more active and less active\, are you\, do you all talk and\, share tips? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yes\, we have conferences\, we have academies. Actually one of my colleagues actually just graduated from the academy\, which again is almost a three month training where you go to different states and you get to know each other. And you get to connect with the other liaisons and/or other agents that are working with military families. \nAnd so I do feel that the 4-H military partnership makes a pretty important impact\, connecting us and setting the stage for us to stay connected with each other. Because again\, when you have a family that might get stationed in another state\, us having that line of communication is pretty important. Because maybe someone is moving to Texas and they need to connect with us to a local agent\, and Texas is so big\, so I have to connect them to an agent in that specific county. \nBut again\, vice versa\, if someone [00:12:00] moves to Washington DC or for instance\, hosts a summer camp where multiple kids came from multiple different states\, and they may not necessarily know about 4-H\, but they wanna know after the camp happened\, I now am connecting them to their state liaison that then connects them to their county agent\, and different clubs in that area. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’m curious. Because for those of you who may not know Extension very well\, for one thing\, when Karrie mentions agents\, there are some states that refer to their Extension educators as “agents.” Some of them refer to them just as “Extension educators.” So when you hear ‘agent\,’ she’s really speaking about someone who works for an Extension service who has a certain role that works in communities and counties. For example\, my role is in community development and local government. And\, Karrie’s role is in youth. She’s a youth liaison. Is that your whole role\, Karrie? We talked a little bit about your role already\, I know [00:13:00] that\, but is your whole role with youth\, your entire role in Harris County Extension? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: No. So\, I’m actually the community engagement coordinator for Harris County specifically. Actually we only have one in the state of Texas\, but I work within an urban community\, so\, you know\, we’re dealing with over 4.5 million people at any given time in an urban area. And so that community engagement position is really for me not only to engage with possibly our\, our local commissioners or mayor’s office and or news channels or news stations\, but also dealing with media relations\, along with communicating with our local\, different people that are\, again\, commissioner\, mayor’s office\, their team and trickles down to the bottom line team. \nAnd then again\, you know\, Harris Health\, who are our local partners. So my boss always says\, “My job covers the three Ps: People\, Partnership\, [00:14:00] and Programs. So all the way from the partnerships and possibly\, obtaining some grant funding\, to build out these different community gardens\, for instance\, or working with the local school districts. \nWe have plenty of those. I’m connecting all of the three Ps\, the partnerships\, the programs\, and the people. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thank you so much for making that distinction. I know that Extensions operate differently in different states. We are everywhere and we do a lot of similar things like you just described\, with the community engagement coordinator. I think you just described so much of what I did when I was working in a county. But we were called community development educators\, so it was just very different across the state. So\, yeah\, Thank you so much for making that distinction. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yes. I get the luxury of managing\, I have a lot of hats and I enjoy my hats that I wear. So managing a lot of different projects within the community of Houston\, but beyond that\, in the state of Texas. Being the 4-H military [00:15:00] liaison\, again\, working with all of the installations within Texas\, and just seeing again\, how to connect our programs to the people. \nRACHEL BRAUNER: Karrie and Jessica\, y’all just talked so much about how Extension agents kind of have their plates full a lot of time. You’re constantly juggling different roles\, different jobs. You’re that educator\, Karrie\, but then you’re also a 4-H military liaison\, so we’re wearing a lot of different hats\, really making sure that we’re connecting with our communities and our installations. And then with our\, what we call here in the state of Texas\, with AgriLife is our county extension agents. And so in Texas we have 250 offices that encompass the 254 counties that make up the state of Texas. So there’s so many counties and so many county offices that there’s such a big Extension footprint here in the state. And a lot of our\, what we call Extension agents out in those counties have [00:16:00] multiple roles\, whether they’re focusing on 4-H\, they’re focusing on health and wellness and nutrition\, maybe animal agriculture and natural resources. And they have so much going on on their plate. And so when we as Extension educators that are focusing on military connected populations\, from your perspective\, Karrie\, what are some high impact\, low effort ways that extension staff can keep families in mind in their programming out in their counties? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: I think getting involved. You know\, I always speak about the three Ps\, but also just our volunteer base is pretty pivotal for what we do. And all of the hats that we wear within Extension and leaning on our volunteers\, like our master gardener volunteers\, as we call it\, and or our master wellness volunteers. \nAnd we have other categories of\, again\, a large volunteer\, 4-H volunteers\, which could [00:17:00] be a parent and or an older sibling\, that have you know\, been through the 4-H program\, starting at a young age. I think leaning on just our community\, again\, our partnerships is key\, as well as our volunteers. \nPartnerships is very\, very\, very important to me\, within Extension because we can’t do it alone and we don’t want to do it alone. So\, you know\, maybe a partner might fulfill something that we don’t necessarily do\, within Extension\, but it’s still a need. So I have a community of people that come to me for all different various topics. \nYou kind of name it\, they come to me about it\, financial literacy\, STEM education\, and you know\, something of that nature. So being able to pull on a partner or a community partner and or a volunteer\, that might be someone that’s an expert at that particular topic. And then our experts are specialists. \nWe have a very large group of specialists within Extension as well. And I also lean on [00:18:00] them and their expertise\, because they’re very knowledgeable and that’s kind of that extension of the university\, right? We’re extending information from the university\, so from professors to specialists all the way. \nAgain\, we talked about agents in Texas and then our volunteer base. That’s kind of like the streamline of what the community can really lean on and depend on. And there’s a lot of us that are willing to serve the community. But I think that that’s kind of what\, again\, my job and my role is\, is to figure out that streamline\, to support what we’re trying to do with an Extension. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I really want to tease out a little bit of this idea of the value of volunteers\, that you were talking about. So like 4-H has a set of volunteers\, master gardeners\, I think we have master naturalists here. I don’t know if you guys have that. And I just heard about one too\, a new one that like this model has been replicated over and over again because it’s such a powerful model. [00:19:00] So the value of volunteers in creating touchpoints for military families\, how have you seen volunteers play that connector role in meaningful ways and how can we maybe take better advantage of that\, or boost that? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Rachel might have to help me with this one\, from her perspective as well\, but I think\, asking – number one\, you know\, a lot of people are afraid to ask for help\, and the worst answer you can get is no. That’s what I’ve always heard. So I think asking is very key. But there’s another side to this because there’s volunteers and there’s also resources\, right? \nSo asking the community that simply just want to serve and give their time\, and possibly even resources. So we have our volunteers\, but then we also have people that want to just simply give in kind donations. So really just again\, leaning on partnerships in the community\, volunteers\, to pour back into the community is\, key\, right? \nAnd that [00:20:00] doesn’t mean necessarily someone is giving their time. That could also mean in-kind donations to achieve the larger goal of whatever a community garden\, for instance\, or maybe you’re trying to put on a six week series cooking course. So your local grocery stores might want to give funding or resources or even just simply groceries to achieve that program or that project that that 4-H student or that group or that club is trying to achieve. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I would imagine then that the volunteers in that way\, because they’re having so many touchpoints with the families\, can also help the people who are putting the programs together understand what they’re hearing\, so that maybe program adjustments can be made\, or maybe programs times\, or\, you know\, making things more convenient or making changes to it. \nSo\, yeah. It seems like that it’s a pivotal role\, for two reasons\, the touch points with the families\, and then also gaining [00:21:00] information for program improvements. \nRACHEL BRAUNER: Well\, the volunteers are just so important in making that connection with Extension\, and then our communities\, because even though Extension has a large presence\, at least here in the state of Texas as just a reference\, we can’t do everything and be everywhere. And so those volunteers are so important to our programs and supports for example\, in Bexar County where Joint Base San Antonio is located\, we have a great master garden’s program where the agent\, the county extension agent in Bexar County\, where Bexar County is located in Military City USA in San Antonio\, Texas. And so that county Extension agent and their program\, the Master Gardeners Program\, all of their volunteers are predominantly\, a large population or percentage of that volunteer group is military connected. \nSo they’re predominantly [00:22:00] veterans that have transitioned out\, that live in that community and they want to give back. And so we have found\, or what we’ve seen in Bexar County\, as a lot of our volunteers\, those veteran volunteers\, are providing a lot of peer support in those communities. So they are working closely with the installations. They’re working closely outside the gates to provide support. And then because they have that military experience\, they’re providing a lot of peer support to the audiences that they’re serving and supporting. And so this is just a great way to see an example of how our extension volunteers are supporting our military connected populations. \nAnd so we may not always ask our volunteers of who their backgrounds are. Or\, you know\, if they have a military experience\, because we’re just so excited to be able to have the support of volunteers. But then it’s really important\, especially those [00:23:00] programs that we have located near an installation\, that those volunteers have a little bit of that experience that they’re bringing to support the active duty population. \nSo that’s always fun and exciting to see\, and it just shows that value that those volunteers and their experiences bring to supporting us. \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Also\, during the process of becoming a master gardener volunteer\, for instance\, they actually go through training. It’s almost like going back to college. And it is\, it could be lengthy at times\, but it’s important because we’re not just asking them to come and volunteer their time\, but we’re also giving them the specific information to make sure that it’s\, you know\, research based information straight from the university\, to actually provide the community with\, again\, things within nutrition and/or agriculture\, horticulture topics. So volunteering their time\, but also training them to provide the community with the right information. \nRACHEL BRAUNER: Karrie\, your [00:24:00] explanation on volunteers and Extension was just really a helpful reminder of how we can extend our reach in so many powerful ways\, and it connects something else to your work\, because mentioned you’re based in Harris County\, which is for those that are listening is Houston\, Texas\, or in the area of Houston\, Texas. \nAnd it’s one of the largest veteran populations here in the state. And so of course\, military service doesn’t end when someone transitions out from an active duty status. And so families are still raising children\, they’re still facing similar challenges to their civilian counterparts. And still looking for that support\, even when getting out of active duty. So how should Extension be thinking about how we support that transition\, both during and after service? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Yeah\, that’s a great question. Starting with really going back to just doing it\, I think is very key\, but also acknowledging [00:25:00] that it’s important for us to serve our families that are within active duty and transitioning into becoming a civilian\, or becoming a veteran. I think it’s even more important for us to support our families that are transitioning into becoming a veteran because there’s a lot of that right now. \nAnd there will be in the next three years\, we think of the ones who started being in the military at 18\, they’re now 32. I know my spouse’s first sergeant and he’ll be retired in two years\, and he’s already starting to think of different ways. He’s a humanitarian already on his own. \nAnd so he’s already in the community serving\, but\, we have to think the military have a servant heart. So they’re looking for ways to serve their communities\, to still feel connected to the service\, right? And so that’s a big thing\, and it’s very pivotal and important for someone that’s serving in the military because they’re like a comradery. \nThey’re a huge family. And so them transitioning out into being [00:26:00] civilians\, they’re still looking for that comradery. Extension\, it’s important for us to support that and think of ways that we can better support our military families\, throughout. Again\, being an active duty member and or veteran\, and even if that’s asking them simply to volunteer their time\, is a great way to make an impact to\, again\, a military family and also supporting them with 4-H programs\, right? \nTheir kiddos are looking for things to do. They’re looking for their kiddos to do something. I had the luxury of planning a summer camp with about 60 kids this summer. And the way that it reached the masses\, right? Over 120 kids signed up. It was really spousal support\, right? So a mom told another mom\, told another mom\, told another mom. \nAnd it was a very emotional moment to even connect with the kids\, right? And communicate with kids because they were looking\, they were teens\, right? They were looking for something to do that was different. They’re used to this parent that [00:27:00] serves in this high risk management role. And so for them to do something active and with their hands and just adventurous\, I think was very key and pivotal and they really\, really took well to it. \nSo it’s our job with an Extension to really figure out different ways to target this audience. \nRACHEL BRAUNER: Thank you\, and thanks so much for letting me join you and Jessica today on this podcast. I’m excited\, especially\, Karrie\, as a fellow colleague and peer working together across Texas A&M Aggro Life Extension. It’s always fun to hear what our Extension folks are doing throughout the state\, and so the work that you’re doing is exciting\, it’s great and it makes me want to work more with people like you and the importance of how to connect all of our different programs to better support military connected populations. And so I’m so excited about the work that you’re doing in your area. Thanks\, Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:28:00] You are so welcome. And Karrie\, before we go\, first\, this has been such a rich conversation about your journey\, your work\, and the role Extension can play for military connected families. But before we wrap up\, I think I warned you about this question. I’d love to turn to you personally for a moment. What is one thing you do or one thing you practice that sustains or supports you in your work? Like cooking could be one of them\, but I’ll leave that up to – is that what you were gonna say? \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: It is\, yes. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh I stole your thunder! \nKARRIE CALLOWAY: Gardening and cooking and actually cooking with my daughter. And even my spouse\, her dad has taken it on\, full on. He’s stationed in California while I’m in Texas. And so even when she goes and visits him\, he cooks with her because he knows it’s our thing and it’s something that really connects and bonds them. \nI mean\, he sends me pictures of them baking cookies and all kinds of stuff\, stuff I don’t even do with her. And so I think cooking will always [00:29:00] be my number one go-to. Again\, growing up my dad was a chef. The kitchen is home and it will always be my grounding space and gardening just kind of adds to it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, one thing I’ll say is in the show notes\, OneOp actually has a little mini course. It’s called\, “Military Culture\, A Guide For Extension Professionals.” If you are an extension professional and you are looking to learn a little bit more about how you might support military families in your area\, this is just a super short\, I think it takes like 45 minutes to an hour to get through a short guide on how to understand military culture\, so that you can serve the families with a little bit more understanding. \nSo that’s it for this episode. Special thanks to our guest\, Karrie Callaway and the guest co-host Rachel Brauner for the first time\, hopefully not the last. \nIf you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’d love to hear what you’ve been thinking about and [00:30:00] what’s inspiring you. You can share that with us by clicking the Send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. We can’t wait to hear from you. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/from-outreach-to-impact-extensions-role-with-military-connected-communities-with-rachel-brauner-and-karrie-calloway/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/AdobeStock_100777578-scaled-e1750788002377.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250828T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250828T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250828T100156Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165800Z
UID:10001619-1756360800-1756400400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:From Networking to Meaningful Connections: Learning Together
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzcxNjczOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc3MTY3MzgtZnJvbS1uZXR3b3JraW5nLXRvLW1lYW5pbmdmdWwtY29ubmVjdGlvbnMtbGVhcm5pbmctdG9nZXRoZXIuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzcxNjczOCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 35) \nProfessional development isn’t just about the content – it’s about the people. \nWhether it’s a quick follow-up question\, a shared takeaway\, or an invitation to debrief\, connecting with others during a learning event can spark fresh ideas\, deepen your understanding\, and expand your network in a meaningful way. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica explore how connecting with other attendees – or even speakers – can transform your professional development experience. \nJessica shares a simple\, low-pressure practice for starting conversations\, learning collaboratively\, and expanding your network in ways that feel authentic and focused on shared learning. \nWhether you’re attending in person or online\, discover practical ideas for reaching out\, sharing takeaways\, and creating spaces for meaningful dialogue. \nLinks and resources from this episode: \n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][00:00:00] CORAL OWEN: Hey there. Thank you for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. Today we’ll be talking about making the most of professional development opportunities through connecting with other attendees\, or even the speaker\, and my co-host Jessica\, will be sharing a practice with us. Hey Jess. How are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, I’m doing pretty great. I’ve been kind of in the spirit of our topic. I’ve been noticing lately that I’ve had a lot going on in my head\, and typing out my to-do list and thoughts weren’t actually helping much. So I actually have more than one journaling app. There’s generally one that I use only\, but I have a journaling app and I have different to-do list apps as well that I like to test out. I’m kind of a productivity tool nerd. But the typing it out wasn’t helping me very much. I go through periods where typing helps and sometimes it doesn’t. \nAnd I’m in a period right now where typing isn’t helping me at [00:01:00] all. So\, I’ve taken up daily pen and paper journaling again\, and pen and paper list making\, pen and paper journaling is a practice that I’ve actually kept for a long time\, but I’ll sometimes go like a few days\, weeks\, or occasionally months without doing it. \nAnd when I’m not doing pen and paper journaling\, I’m generally doing some spotty typing out of my journals. So I thought I’d bring this up because today we’re talking about connecting with others\, and this practice helps me connect with myself. And I’ve learned a long time ago to kind of let go of\, “I don’t have to do things one way all the time.” \nAnd I’ve noticed that there are times when my pen and paper isn’t fast enough for me\, and so I need to go to typing. And then again\, I’ve noticed times when the typing isn’t helping me ensure things get done\, or it’s not helping to really get everything out of my head\, and so I need to go to the physical writing. And so it\, I really have to just be in tune with myself on that.[00:02:00]\nCORAL OWEN: I’m chuckling over here because that\, it’s very much been my experience too\, as someone who\, you know\, kind of is\, has one foot on either side of these generational lines of tech and then also pen and paper. And yeah\, it’s nice to have a format for whatever the situation is feeling like it\, you know\, necessitates\, not requires necessarily. But yeah\, I love that. That’s a great reflection too on being able to connect with yourself and just figure out where you’re at before you turn around and make those intentional connections with other people. I love that. Thank you for sharing. We’d also love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners\, so please do drop us a line at Practicing connection@oneop.org. \nWe see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nAlright. Let’s learn more about the power of connection when it comes to making the most of our professional development. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing today and [00:03:00] why you chose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, of course. I chose this particular activity for two reasons. First\, if we’re looking for things like what’s lighting a spark in us\, which is what we talked about in a previous episode\, or if we’re looking for ways to connect with someone\, then that means that we are fully present\, we’re in the room even if that room is virtual. \nSecond\, I chose this because seeking to connect with someone who is co-learning alongside us\, or seeking to connect with the speakers\, is one way to deepen our learning and to expand our professional network. And you’re expanding your network in a way that centers the connection on your learning\, not on the things that usually make people feel a little icky when networking. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh man. Jess. I know that’s gonna resonate with a lot of people. I feel that pretty deeply and yeah\, having something to center that connection around\, I know it’s going to be helpful for a lot of folks. So can [00:04:00] you go ahead and walk us through on how we might get started? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. This actually might be one of the simplest practices we’ve shared. The only step\, the first and only step is to reach out to a fellow participant\, instructor or colleague. So you can do this well in multiple ways\, but I’m going to give you three ways and three reasons for your reach outs. \nSo you might ask them a follow up question during the session. You can ask the speakers or one of the participants who shared something in the chat\, just ask them a follow-up question. That’s all that one is. \nAnother way that you could reach out is\, share a takeaway. This is a really low pressure way to open dialogue. For example\, during a virtual learning setting\, you might put this in the chat. You could say something like\, “One thing that really sparked my thinking today was..” fill in the blank. “I’d love to hear what stood out to others.” You could also do [00:05:00] this in a LinkedIn group or thread. \nMake sure though to tag the speaker or the organization who hosted. They will really appreciate it. And then the third way that you could reach out to a participant\, instructor\, or colleague\, would be to invite connection. So you could invite some colleagues or others to a short debrief conversation or create a shared file for an idea swap where you all share one idea that you plan to try. \nThat is one way I’ve actually gone back to some of those documents where someone decided to create one for everyone who was in the room and say\, “Hey\, here’s a shared document that I created with my idea. Go ahead and add yours.” \nI’ve actually gone back to them months later too\, to try something new. \nSo that’s it. You just reach out to a participant\, instructor\, or colleague. \nCORAL OWEN: Good deal. Simple is easy. Love it. Awesome. Well thanks so much for guiding us through\, and yeah\, that’s it for this episode. \nSo thank y’all for joining us\, and if you did enjoy this episode or [00:06:00] find this practice helpful\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or colleague. \nTill then\, we’ll be back next week with a new episode\, and be sure to keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/from-networking-to-meaningful-connections-learning-together/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/poppy-4896275_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250814T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250814T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250821T100139Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251208T164929Z
UID:10001616-1755151200-1755190800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Bridging the Gap: Military Kids and School Communities with Mark Paolicelli and Dulce Carrillo
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzY5Nzg1MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc2OTc4NTItbWlsaXRhcnkta2lkcy1hbmQtcHVibGljLXNjaG9vbHMtZmluZGluZy1jb21tb24tZ3JvdW5kLXRvZ2V0aGVyLXdpdGgtbWFyay1wYW9saWNlbGxpLWFuZC1kdWxjZS1jYXJyaWxsby5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3Njk3ODUyJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 34) \nWhen a redistricting proposal put military children’s routines at risk\, two communities came together\, transforming crisis into collaboration. Discover how a proactive partnership made all the difference. \nJessica Beckendorf welcomes Mark Paolicelli (former Deputy Base Commander for joint base Meyer-Henderson Hall) and Dulce Carrillo (Supervisor of Community Partnerships and Engagement at Arlington Public Schools) in this special episode\, sharing their story of coming together to solve a collective challenge that affected each of their respective communities. \nWhen a redistricting proposal threatened to disrupt the school experience of military kids\, little did anyone know it would spark a dialogue that led to meaningful\, long-term partnerships. \nHear firsthand how Mark and Dulce navigated misunderstandings\, built bridges\, and turned neighbors into allies – all in the name of supporting military-connected students. \nTheir story offers timely lessons in resilience\, communication\, and the power of coming together for a common cause. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\nSend us a text\n\nOneOp Academy is a free online series designed for anyone interested in positive change\, whether you’re an educator\, community leader\, student\, or just passionate about supporting families. \nThis year’s Academy spotlights the unique challenges facing military connected youth\, from mental health to resilience education to community support. \nExplore the 2025 OneOp Academy and register today at oneop.org/series/2025academy[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. Our guests today are Mark Paolicelli\, former Deputy Base Commander for Joint Base Myer Henderson Hall\, and Dulce Carrillo\, supervisor of Community Partnerships and Engagement at Arlington Public Schools in Virginia. Dulce and Mark were part of an effort that began as a crisis from the base’s perspective and ended in long-term understanding and partnership. \nThough they were neighbors\, the base and Arlington schools had little interaction until a redistricting proposal threatened to move military kids from their usual school. We’re excited to learn more about how this story unfolded\, which resulted in improved support for military kids\, and raised regional awareness of their unique challenges. \nHi\, Mark and Dulce. Thank you so much for joining us on Practicing Connection. \nDULCE CARILLO: Hello\, [00:01:00] Jessica. Great to be here. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. Thanks for having us\, Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s start by getting to know you both a little bit. Can you share a bit about your backgrounds and your connection to the base in Arlington schools? And maybe Mark\, I’ll start with you on this. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Sure. My name is Mark Paolicelli\, as previously stated\, I’m a retired lieutenant colonel in the United States Marine Corps. My last assignment before I retired in 2022\, I was the Deputy Joint Base Commander for Joint Base Myer Henderson Hall. Now this is an army owned installation\, but because it’s a joint base with the Marine Corps\, that’s why a marine officer is the deputy commander for the base. And I was in that role from 2018 until my retirement in 2022. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And Dulce\, please share a little bit about yourself and your connection to the base in Arlington schools. \nDULCE CARILLO: Yes. I’ve been working for Arlington Public Schools since the fall of 2016. I had been assigned by our superintendent\, then Superintendent Patrick\, Dr. Murphy\, [00:02:00] as a representative to the Military and Veterans Affairs Committee. So I was learning and getting to know members of that community including Lieutenant Colonel Paolicelli\, and that led to starting to learn about and how we can serve military students better. How we can be a system that supports students and looks out for the interest of military connected students. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, let’s think about before the two of you were assigned to get involved. What was the relationship like between the base and Arlington schools before this redistricting proposal\, and what concerns did the proposal raise? \nMARK PAOLICELLI: So how I would describe our relationship was we were neighbors – Literally\, the headquarters for Arlington Public Schools is right outside our main gate. So we could walk there from our main gate. But we were neighbors that were\, I’d say\, friendly and cordial to each other\, but we didn’t know each other. \nWe [00:03:00] coexisted very closely. But we didn’t really have a relationship\, at least to my knowledge\, because a lot of our kids\, they’re enrolled in Arlington schools. Those families dealt with the Arlington school district on their own. So the base leadership and the base really didn’t have\, you know\, any interactions with Arlington public schools. \nDULCE CARILLO: Yes. No\, I totally agree. I think we were neighbors\, but we were not\, certainly not meeting on a regular basis or discussing issues that were pertinent to military connected students. That said\, the commander Kimberly Peoples\, Colonel Peoples would come to our events. I really always enjoyed seeing her. \nShe would be invited to an administrative conference or certain events and I would see her at our whole child conferences. So that was something that I loved and I was interested in learning more about\, but certainly at that time we were not having meetings. Just bumping into each other basically. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. I’ll agree. And I’ll follow up\, you’re right there were events that we would invite each other to\, [00:04:00] whether it’s like the base change of command or certain events that Arlington Public Schools would have\, that we would extend invitations to. But again\, I don’t think we had a really dedicated relationship where we were talking on a regular basis. And I don’t think up until this point the topic we’re about to talk about\, I don’t think there were any things that came up for\, you know\, kind of forced us to have a conversation with each other\, other than just being cordial and friendly with each other. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, and I’d like to set the stage even a little bit further. Mark\, you and I have talked in the past\, and as I recall\, there were not very many kids that were in school that were living on the base\, but there was a presence of children because of a daycare. \nAnd I wonder if you could just explain a little bit about that dynamic\, and how it contributed to the need to connect. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Sure. Yeah. So Joint Base Myer Henderson Hall\, the army side of the base\, previously known as Fort Myer\, or the residents that live on that base are the army’s senior most leaders\, and honestly the military’s senior most leaders\, [00:05:00] so five out of the eight Joint Chiefs of Staff live within our fence line. And so all the other top generals from the Army reside on the base. \nAnd so because of that\, a lot of these are older and senior military officers. Most of them have kids that are grown or that have moved out that are in college or whatnot. So the base’s children population was only about 30 kids that actually lived on the base. Aside from the residents\, we have the largest daycare center in the Department of Defense and our early child development center hosts about 550 kids when we’re at full capacity\, and that’s both infant care and toddler care. \nAnd then the other side of the facility is the school age side which are\, K-through-Eighth Grade that get dropped off at the daycare center in the morning\, hop on Arlington County buses\, go out into the county and then at the end of the day\, they’re brought back to the daycare [00:06:00] center. \nAnd now keep in mind military families work pretty long hours. So our daycare center was open from six o’clock in the morning until six in the evening. And those before and after school care kids you know\, really relied on the care of the center to be able to hang out there and do afterschool programming until their military parents could come pick them up. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I would love to also dig a little bit into the redistricting proposal itself. Dulce\, maybe you could talk a little bit about the school’s needs for the proposal and Mark you could maybe talk a little bit about the response that the base felt they needed to have to support the military kids. \nDULCE CARILLO: Yes\, to give you some background\, so it is basically a responsibility of the school district to ensure that we have balanced enrollment in our school buildings. Each of our school buildings has a certain number\, a capacity of students fit in a school. And our demographics are constantly changing where people are moving and [00:07:00] coming. \nAnd so every couple of years\, and this fall is no exception\, when a school gets too crowded and we see extra room in another school where there are empty seats in classrooms\, we do a boundary change. And that means that we shift some students to other schools to balance this enrollment\, otherwise it could balloon up and you know\, we need more trailers and things like that while other schools are kind of empty. \nSo boundaries are one of the most painful things that we do as a school district and we take a lot of care\, since there are a lot of competing demands. How do we ensure that all of our students\, none of them are overburdened\, but also that some schools are not overcrowded\, while others empty. \nSo that was the backdrop. And also prior to this example\, we were really bursting at the seams. Our enrollment had been growing and growing. We were looking at 30\,000 student enrollment and not enough seats. So I think that was part of the [00:08:00] reason we’re not seeing that now\, there’s less pressure to do severe boundary moves because we’re not under that type of pressure. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And so Mark\, when did it become known that the redistricting proposal was going to affect the military kids on base? And maybe it affected more than that. If you could maybe describe that reaction you guys had and why you felt like it was really important\, right? Even though there were only 30 kids on base. Like\, why was it really important for you to step in? \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. So I was made aware of this in the fall\, when Arlington was holding town hall meetings\, and really the base leadership was made aware of it from a lot of concerned military families that were going to be impacted by it. So I don’t know if you know anything about running a base\, but every decision you make\, and everything that happens around the base\, the base commander and the deputy commander\, you hear an earful from your population and the people that you’re supporting\, and the people that use your services. \nSo\, as you can imagine\, you [00:09:00] know\, the redistricting thing was a pretty emotional event for some of our military families. They were very vocal about their concerns and the impact that this was going to have on them. The unique thing with military families is these families are assigned to a location for two or three years\, and then they pick up and they move again. \nSo\, I think it’s pretty well known that military kids are very resilient. Because they’re always doing that. That’s the lifestyle that they’re used to. And so for us\, our concern when the base leadership was informed of it was\, is this really necessary? Can we talk to Arlington\, just kind of find out a little more about it? \nBecause at that time\, to be honest with you\, I didn’t understand the redistricting reasons. I do now. Especially as a parent of a 7-year-old\, ’cause we just went through this where I live. So I fully understand it and I completely understand why the county needs to do that in order to make sure that they’re operating within capacity\, so that they don’t have some schools that are bursting at the seams. So [00:10:00] anyway\, the base commander\, she was notified and at the time she was really concerned that we just needed to understand this. And she knew that it needed the base leadership involved. So she tasked me to be her point person on this\, to dig into it\, find out exactly what was going on\, to understand the situation a little bit better so that really we could communicate back to our military families using the services on the base of\, “Hey\, this is what we’re doing\, or this is why Arlington is doing this.” Really to inform them. So that they weren’t just dealing with emotions\, you know what I mean\, or acting out on their emotions. And our standpoint from the beginning was just understand it and then see if this was concrete or if there was room for\, you know\, maybe a compromise. \nBefore we even got to that\, we had to understand the issue and why Arlington was making that decision. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It sounds like you were really looking for where are the gaps and how can we bridge them? And a lot of that kind of back and forth communication and helping everyone understand why redistricting needed to happen is [00:11:00] one of the ways you do that. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah\, and we were very cautious too\, right? We never go in\, or at least Colonel Peoples – now Major General Peoples was a fantastic base commander and a great boss. She’s a very\, compassionate leader. And so\, she didn’t take the stand of\, “We’re the military and we should be treated differently and special because we wear a uniform.” She sincerely looked at it from\, “Okay\, let’s understand this first. And then if there’s room for compromise to alleviate these military families from having to pull their kids out of another school and go to a different school next year\, you know\, is there room for compromise?” \nAnd at the very least\, make sure that Arlington County understands kind of the uniqueness of these military families. ‘Cause like I said\, when we talked earlier\, that we’re neighbors. There’s a lot of people that I engage with from Arlington County that have lived in Arlington forever and have never stepped foot on the base. And I think a lot of these bases are really [00:12:00] foreign to their neighbors because they never get access to the base. They never get to go on and see the services or the soldiers or the Marines. So it’s kind of this foreign place that they know it’s over there. \nThey know it’s guarded\, but they don’t understand it because they’ve never had the opportunity to\, you know\, be on the base or engage with the base community kind of thing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So if I could just add one thing to what you’re saying. Earlier you mentioned that military kids\, like it’s pretty well known that they can be very\, very resilient. And I’ll just say as a former military kid\, it was eons ago at this point\, but it would have been extra hard to have had to – midstream in the middle of that two years or three year stint – to have had to switch again. \nIt really would have been difficult. And so that said I’m wondering Dulce how did the school district start to begin to understand the unique challenges that military kids face? \nDULCE CARILLO: It was through these conversations\, and I totally agree that Colonel Peoples was an amazing\, compassionate leader who really had [00:13:00] very strong influence\, but it was more soft and diplomatic influence. And of course she sent Mark Paolicelli\, who’s a similar very strong leader\, but with a lot of curiosity and\, you know\, willing to listen and dialogue before making demands\, which\, you know\, could have been worse I think\, had we sort of come to a standoff. But I think these conversations were important for all of us because we as a district also needed more understanding of the particular situation of military students\, and we knew it at a certain level. \nWe know students because we see them\, they enroll and then they have to leave\, or sometimes they don’t\, you know\, they enroll late in the summer or even sometimes mid-year. Not that we didn’t know\, but because we live in the DC metropolitan area\, and we also have a lot of diplomatic kids who are different\, they’re not military\, but they are also moving quite often. It’s a very dynamic region. You know\, military students having this burden seemed [00:14:00] kind of like\, “We have a bunch of students and if we allow this group to say we can’t move\, what are we gonna do with these other students who also have these needs?” \nI think that was one of the things we were hearing in terms of how much flexibility can we have and still balance the capacity at our different campuses. \nI just wanted to kind of echo what Colonel Paolicelli said about the base being a foreign place. I think you’re totally right. I mean\, we are neighbors\, but personally I thought that we were not allowed on base unless we were invited and escorted. It looks like a very secure place that\, unless you know you have an opportunity to create relationships and visit\, it feels like it’s out of bounds and you’re not supposed to go there and don’t try to go there and you know\, it’s not for you. It’s only for military. That is the perception. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That actually I think is a beautiful segue into a burning question that I have\, and that is what were the main [00:15:00] challenges in building this understanding? I mean\, you guys have made it sound beautifully easy but what were the challenges in building this understanding between the base and the school officials and how were they overcome? \nMARK PAOLICELLI: It sounds difficult\, but it was really just talking to each other\, right. And understanding each other. You know\, one of the things talking to the folks with Arlington at the time\, I realized that when they were looking at their data for redistricting\, they were looking at the 30 kids that lived on the base and their proposal was\, “Hey\, we have to pick up your kids and bus them to their school anyways\, so it doesn’t matter\, is it really a big deal that we’re\, going to bus them to a different school\, right?” \nThey’re not walking to school. Like other Owens County residents\, we have to go\, come on the base and pick them up. “So what’s the big deal about\, you know\, moving them to a different school?” Talking in our initial conversations\, I quickly realized that they were only looking at the 30 kids that were residents [00:16:00] and the 180 kids that were before and after school care in our daycare center that were also Arlington County residents who attended our before and after school care program. That was a kind of a blind spot for them. \nThey didn’t realize that this impact wasn’t going to just impact the 30 kids who lived on the base. It was also going to impact the 180 kids that were using the before and after school care. That opened up their eyes. And quite honestly I was even more nervous because they’re like\, “There were even more kids that we weren’t factoring in.” \nAnd so we were able to pull together the data for them of\, “Here’s our list of all the kids that are either residents or patrons of the before and after school care. Here’s a by name list of everybody.” If memory serves me right\, I had a by name list. I know I had the numbers. And so really kind working together with them\, with like\, say\, “Hey\, here’s a population that we weren’t counting in.” \nAnd then I was able also\, actually\, yeah\, you’re right. Sorry to go back. I [00:17:00] didn’t share the names. I was only allowed to share the numbers. I was able to go in and find out from the families when they were leaving. Right. And that was another thing that I think the decision makers that wasn’t part of their calculus was like\, yes\, when the decision is made\, there’s 180 kids that are impacted\, but out of the 180 kids\, 60 of them are what we call PCS\, which is a move. Meaning their families are gonna get orders. So next year they’re not gonna be students anymore. They’re going to move somewhere else\, right. So there’s a lot of variables that\, quite frankly\, it was quite a science project for me to dig into to get that data for them\, to get that data over to Arlington Public School so they can make a more really informed decision and at least in my opinion\, a more informed decision. But again\, those are the uniquenesses of it\, right? \nThere’s the base population\, you know\, that live there. There’s the population that used the before and after school care. And then on top of it\, to add even more complexity to it you have some [00:18:00] kids that aren’t gonna be around for the next three years. And then even more kids\, what we don’t know coming in\, right. You really had to go through it with a fine tooth comb. \nAnd I was fortunate still to this day\, grateful that the leaders at Arlington County Public Schools were at least willing to talk to me. And hear our position and our considerations \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, and so Dulcey I’d love to get the similar thoughts from you on what were the challenges from the school district’s perspective? Like what were some of these challenges in the building? That understanding? \nDULCE CARILLO: I think one of our challenges was that several different departments were involved in this. So we had one department called the Department of Planning and Evaluation\, and they’re the ones working on the data\, working on\, you know\, numbers\, really trying to make everything work. But they’re kind of blind to\, like my department\, we’re school and community relations. \nWe’ve got the relationships\, we have more ability to meet with\, and build conversations. So planning valuation is [00:19:00] more policy. We can’t break the policy. It is more black and white if you want to say\, because they’re dealing with so many variables that they don’t really want to hear. \nIt’ll throw off their models if we give them all these exceptions. So it’s their job\, you know\, to be responsible and to say\, “Hey\, we’re running all these models and we can’t have all these exceptions to these models or our plans won’t work and our schools won’t be well distributed.” \nAnd then you throw in\, we have a registration office. Which is our welcome center. These were separate offices at the time where they had very strict registration rules. A person cannot register until they can prove that they have an Arlington address\, and once they have an Arlington address\, they are sent to a school that is within their boundary. \nThese are all the regulations for registration. So if you live on base\, you go to this school. If you live in another part of the county\, you go to that school\, unless you’re in a lottery program. So they’re also [00:20:00] trying to juggle where all of the kids are. And then we had obviously the superintendent’s office\, which got involved when the leadership at the joint base came forward and said\, “Hey\, you know\, please intervene. We want to do some talking.” \nSo we had basically four departments trying to educate one another and each of us bringing a different perspective to that conversation. Some are saying\, yes\, we should make this exception. And others saying we can’t\, there’s so many other exceptions. So it was a bit tricky also internally for us. And I don’t know what Mark’s numbers were\, but some of the arguments that\, you know\, I was getting pushback on was saying even though the kids attend the childcare center\, they’re not necessarily Arlington residents\, and we don’t have any room to be accepting kids whose parents might be working at the Pentagon\, say\, but are actually not living in Arlington. \nThey’re not supposed to be registered at our schools at all. So we had to really share\, and your research helped a lot to say\, “Here are the kids who do live in [00:21:00] Arlington County\, who will be going to our schools\, and we can make the exception to keep them in a community so they don’t feel further disturbed from\, you know\, the normalcy they’re trying to create in their two or three year posting with us in Arlington.” \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah\, Dulce\, I remember that. Because this was an educational adventure for me as well\, right. So when that came up\, I was able to dig into our population and really dispel that rumor or that belief that no\, if they’re a student at Arlington Public Schools per Arlington’s policy\, they are also an Arlington resident. \nSo we were to dig into that\, because that was a question and a concern understandably from the school side\, do we have students in our schools that aren’t Arlington County residents? And we were able to dig through that and validate that for you\, that we are in compliance with the policy. \nDULCE CARILLO: Correct\, we hadn’t dug into that data. In fact\, as a military liaison of sorts\, I did have access to numbers. [00:22:00]I know how many kids were at each of our schools because I was told for security they were not releasing that information. Virginia policy\, we ask every student when they start school\, are you military connected or do you have the data. For security they told us we don’t release that information. We don’t want any schools targeted in case there are more families than another. So I actually for the first time had that information from the base who willingly shared and said\, you know\, we published that and it helped us understand that 5% of students are military connected\, a significant number. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. It sounds like you guys had some things that really contributed to the success of this effort\, and what I’m hearing right now is that there was a willingness to spend the time on it\, right? Because conversations take a long time. And I’m [00:23:00] hearing that there was also an openness to hearing what the needs were on both sides\, and openness to hearing about data that maybe you had never seen before. And also there was a commitment on both of the leadership’s sides toward the effort\, like a commitment to learning more and to doing more. \nDoes that all feel true for you guys? Is there something else in your magic sauce of like\, what contributed to the success? \nMARK PAOLICELLI: I mean\, really it is just having the conversations\, right? And I said it earlier\, you know\, I was so grateful and am grateful that they didn’t just say\, “Hey\, this is our decision\, deal with it. See you later.” And I think that you hit on it with the willingness and openness to at least engage in a conversation. And then\, to understand it better because I needed to understand the reasons for the decisions that were being made so I could communicate that back to our military families. Quite honestly\, you know\, I was resigned [00:24:00] to the fact that if the decision was made that\, “Hey\, sorry there will be no military family exception to policy and the kids have to move.” You know\, I may not have agreed with the decision\, but at least I could understand it and be able to communicate that back to the families\, right? So that they had the facts and they understood the reasons why the decisions were made. \nSo again\, you know\, we had to understand this a little more\, because it was impacting families for the three years that they’re assigned to our base or their children are patrons of our daycare center. If we can do something to help them\, and at least ensure stability for while they’re assigned to our base\, then we’re gonna do everything in our efforts to try to accomplish that\, right? To try to support them in that effort. \nDULCE CARILLO: I would like to add\, Mark\, that I think it was precisely that attitude that came through and the fact that\, you know\, the compassionate leader in you and in Colonel Peoples made it a lot easier for our leadership too\, to be [00:25:00] compassionate and be as flexible as possible because we wanted to figure out\, I think it makes it easier. \nWe get demands from all sides\, and sometimes the demands are people who are not listening. They want to share their needs\, but are not listening to our situation and vice versa. And I think that this situation was not like that. And I’m going to credit you not only because we’re on this call\, but that the type of leadership where you were willing to listen\, understand and accept the outcome\, and yet advocate so strongly and with evidence and with research and through conversation one-on-one\, I think really helped. \nNot every leader may have been able to get through that way because that does matter\, being a great listener\, being understanding\, not only sharing your needs\, but listening to understand others’ needs as well. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: I’m greatly flattered by your comments\, Dulce\, thank you. And I’ll say\, during our conversations we also [00:26:00] recognized that we have a lot in common\, because the decisions that Arlington County public schools are making are very similar to the decisions a base commander makes\, right? About what’s best for your community. \nAnd then you have to stand in the Town Hall and justify yourself of everything\, of every decision you’re making. So I think we found that in common ground with Arlington\, because we get it. I’ve been there too\, right? You make a decision and then you’ve got a lot of concerned folks that are saying\, “Why did you come to that decision? Well\, what about this?” Or\, “Have you considered X\, Y\, and Z?” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: And that’s being a leader\, serving a community\, you have to be able to articulate that. But I’m not going to lie\, it can be frustrating at times. Only because it’s unique. It’s a unique command because\, you know\, people think of the military and they think\, okay the commander makes a decision and nobody questions it\, and everybody executes. \nA base commander and a community leader\, it’s very different\, right? And it’s not that it’s a burden to explain [00:27:00] yourself of why. But you have to be able to understand the needs of your community\, and when you make decisions\, be empathetic and have that in mind\, but also communicate that of why the decisions are being made. So yeah\, that was the common ground that I think we found\, that we had with the leadership of the school district. \nDULCE CARILLO: Indeed. And when you say you know command at base\, I think how unique Arlington public schools in Arlington County as a community is a very incredibly involved community\, very highly educated\, savvy. Every decision that we make\, we have to have a lot of research\, a lot of community input\, because the community members are engaged. In a great way. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. \nDULCE CARILLO: But they will take us to task if we don’t explain why we’re giving someone an exception\, but not someone else. And so we have to be very careful as well in every decision\, because every family that gets [00:28:00] impacted is huge. It’s their child. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. \nDULCE CARILLO: They’re not military connected\, moving them from a community they thought they were going to go\, now you get tears\, lawsuits\, people leaving our district and going to private school. I mean\, it is a huge deal. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah. \nDULCE CARILLO: These are delicate subjects in a very engaged community. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: But you know\, I would say this and you know\, with the engaged communities that we both have\, right? That we share\, they hold you to account\, right? So you better make sure that you do your homework and do your research and get your facts straight before decisions are made. Which is a good thing\, right? \nBut also on the flip side of it is like\, “Okay\, I get the facts together\, or when we present things\, I know I’ve done my homework\, I know that I can speak confidently behind the decisions that we’re making.” \nBecause I\, you know\, it wasn’t a\, just a gut thing and “Oh\, we’re just going with this\, right?” We did our homework and we got our facts together before we made decisions. There was a lot of [00:29:00] thought involved between leadership of both the public school and the base. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow\, there was so much that went into this. I would love to switch over to talking about what were some of those big wins or outcomes from this effort that you’re particularly proud of? And\, you know\, maybe were there any lasting wins? Were there any kind of things that carried on or grew out of this? \nMARK PAOLICELLI: I think from my perspective the big win was that Arlington Public Schools and the leadership there aren’t just our neighbor in passing\, there’s actually a relationship built on trust and transparency. When I left\, you know\, I know the base commander was still continuing to engage and meet with the Arlington superintendent\, at least on a quarterly basis. With Dulce and I\, I think that a friendship has formed. \nYou know\, we started off not really knowing each other except for when we were at the Arlington County’s Military and Veterans Affairs Committee. But that relationship\, I think\, started with this incident or crisis[00:30:00] and because of that a strong relationship was formed and has maintained since then. And a friendship and\, you know\, I consider Dulce a friend\, a friendship and partnerships was formed throughout this whole thing. \nDULCE CARILLO: Thank you\, Mark. I want to echo that. I think the big wins were not only did we genuinely understand each other’s needs better. I think the lasting wins that\, as you mentioned\, there are quarterly meetings between the superintendent and the commander. And we’re now onto our third commander where we’re going to be launching those this fall. And there we have an opportunity when crises occur that we have these relationships and we bring the commander to a different school at least twice a year to see and to speak with military connected students to tell them how was their transition\, what are their needs. So it’s really become a learning tool for us. \nAnd our superintendent\, our new superintendent\, because we did switch to Dr. Francisco Duran. [00:31:00] He is very big on the Purple Star program. This is a Virginia Department of Education program where a school can be designated purple star\, that they understand the needs and support connected students. \nAnd that is a program that he has been working very hard to engage in\, that’s a lasting win. I think we’re now up to almost half of our schools that have applied and were awarded Purple Star status\, and our goal is to have one hundred go through that. That includes an investment in training our staff members about military connected students and particular circumstances. \nHaving programs that a student comes in\, the school counselors are made aware so that there are already students willing to have lunch with that student\, show them school\, tell them what clubs and activities are available. So that they don’t have to eat lunch alone or wait\, you know\, it’s very hard when you’re a child to make [00:32:00] friends. So we’re proud of our Purple Star program\, our quarterly meetings and genuinely increased understanding awareness among staff and\, you know\, celebrating the military child in April having proclamation military students. \nSo we’ve taken a lot of steps that are ones that you know\, when I’m gone\, things will continue. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Did a lot of that actually come out of this initial redistricting proposal in all of these conversations? \nDULCE CARILLO: They happened afterward\, I can’t say they were a direct result. I’d say when you grow closer to a community\, you build that trust. You’re both transparent. You have goodwill\, which I believe was there on both sides. That really opens up a lot of possibilities. We are looking for ways that we can serve and support\, we’re eager to do so because it didn’t leave a bitter aftertaste. \nIt wasn’t a [00:33:00] type of fight where we felt we were pushed into something that we really didn’t want to do\, or vice versa. I think\, again\, I’m gonna go back to investing in those conversations and to learning about one another. Really set some goodwill. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: I think Dulce\, you had\, I think two Purple Star schools when I started my tenure at the base in 2018. And now you’re up to\, you said 16. \nDULCE CARILLO: I’d have to count them and I’ll let you know\, but it’s about 16. We had one to be honest\, one. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: One. Okay. I thought it was two. Yeah. Okay. Wow. And then the other thing too\, Jessica\, I’ll say that because we had a relationship with the staff with Arlington\, it goes both ways\, right? So anytime they had issues\, like for example\, at the beginning of the school year when their bus drivers are having a difficult time getting through the gate\, because they have to go through the search lane and the bus drivers have to get vetted. I mean\, that’s something that we could help them with so that the bus drivers can make their routes on time. Get their bus drivers names. We can give them a trusted traveler permission after a [00:34:00] background check. So that they’re able to make their routes on time. But we didn’t know that was an issue. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, looking back then\, what lessons from this partnership would you share with others who are working to build similar relationships? It doesn’t have to be a military base\, but at least like military population and schools. What lessons would you have to share with people who are looking to develop similar relationships? \nDULCE CARILLO: I would say some lessons learned are one\, you know\, don’t make assumptions. Make the time to listen to all of your families and constituencies. Come to the school district\, be willing and open to learn. And in this case you know\, we learn so much. So there’s probably other communities and needs that we might not understand because we haven’t yet had the opportunity to do so. Also\, I think meeting quarterly is important\, because you want to have those relationships so when things do flare up\, you already have a direct call of somebody you know and [00:35:00] trust that you can have a conversation with to solve the situation a lot faster than if you’re trying to figure out who to call. \nSo I would say that\, and what keeps us motivated is that we are a school system that prides itself in serving every student\, from their own needs and assets\, and military students are no exception. I think they are one of the populations\, like several others\, where there are needs. We want to make sure that we’re ensuring stability for our students and serving them in a way that meets their needs. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Just a quick note. It’s like\, one of the things I’m hearing in what you’re saying Dulce is something that we’ve said a lot on this podcast and that’s work on setting up and cultivating the relationships before you need them. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Yeah\, Jessica. I agree. I mean\, we have a saying that\, “A time of crisis is not the time to figure out who your counterparts are\,” right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: And the only thing I would add\, I [00:36:00] think\, I agree a thousand percent of what Dulce said that those relationships\, establishing them and maintaining them are extremely important. \nBecause really\, you have to know the other side. And I think that there’s a perception on the military side that it’s “Our way and that’s it\,” right? So if there’s any base commanders out there listening to this I would say\, even though there’s a fence line that separates you from your community\, really that fence line is irrelevant. You have to engage with your community leaders\, both\, you know\, at the city or county level\, definitely with your school districts\, and the military community and what services they’re using from the county. \nI look at the difference between the military community and the civilian community and really\, that fence line should not exist\, So if that means you’ve got to go out of your comfort zone and go introduce yourself with your counterparts outside of your base\, then you need to do that. And if it’s not you as the base commander\, then have your deputy or your sergeant major\, or somebody\, [00:37:00] one of your senior leaders do that. To be your point person. \nA lot of bases have school liaisons. But as a commander\, I would say you need to join them once in a while and show an interest\, that you care\, because it’s going to impact your community on the base. \nAnd then the final thing I would say is open up your base to them. There’s a lot of people that think it’s behind this fence\, that they don’t know what’s going on there. So level the knowledge gap by inviting the community leaders onto your base\, host them\, show them around\, and there’s your entry point. You need to cultivate that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think you told me once that you ended up hosting a meeting on base and a number of the people who attended from the school district had never been on it. \nMARK PAOLICELLI: That’s right. That’s right. Yeah. When we first started meeting with Dr. Duran\, the base leaders came to him\, to his office\, for our first couple meetings\, and then we hosted him on the base with his staff. We took them to the childcare daycare center and showed them around\, and then also showed him [00:38:00] around where the residents were. And then hosted him for a meeting. And I believe a lunch on the base. \nYeah\, that was a little surprising to me where people who’ve lived in Arlington County for decades have never been on the base before. They were never provided that opportunity. \nSo this is where I go back to the base leadership\, and any base leaders out there listening\, you need to recognize that and understand that there are your counterparts in your community. Who could be just like that\, that they’ve never stepped foot on your base. So they don’t know what you do\, they don’t know your population\, they don’t understand it. And it’s your responsibility to break down those barriers and establish those relationships. And at least to build awareness\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. So this podcast is called Practicing Connection and boy\, did you guys ever practice it on this effort! \nMARK PAOLICELLI: Well\, it was a team effort. It definitely was a team effort\, us and Arlington. And we couldn’t have done it without compassionate people like Major General Peoples and Dulce\, and at the [00:39:00] time Dr. Murphy. So yeah\, I think it was a win all around. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. Well thanks so much to you both for joining us\, Dulce and Mark. I so enjoyed hearing this story and I really I feel like this could fill up multiple episodes with all the work you guys have done. \nDULCE CARILLO: This is fun to relive. Thank you Mark\, for inviting us and really bringing forward lessons because we’re always onto the next issue\, the next problem. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nDULCE CARILLO: And so I think that’s gonna propel me forward now\, because before the Purple Star point contact was a different person and I was the person going to the military meetings\, but now I’m both. \nSo I’m so looking forward to continuing to partner with the military organizations that help us support students. And even with military people themselves. I think we have a couple of schools where we bring in [00:40:00] young military officers to support athletics and things in our schools. \nI hope that we can expand that to build even deeper relations between us. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Ok\, well\, thanks again so much for joining us. Dulce Carrillo is Supervisor of Community Partnerships and Engagement at Arlington Public Schools in Virginia. And Mark Paolicelli is former deputy based commander for Joint Base Myer Henderson Hall. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today’s episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend.[00:41:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/military-kids-and-school-communities-with-mark-paolicelli-and-dulce-carrillo/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250814T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250814T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250814T100116Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250807T143912Z
UID:10001615-1755151200-1755190800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Turn Learning into Action with "Spark\, Shift\, Share" Notetaking
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzYyNjcwNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc2MjY3MDQtdHVybi1sZWFybmluZy1pbnRvLWFjdGlvbi13aXRoLXNwYXJrLXNoaWZ0LXNoYXJlLW5vdGV0YWtpbmcuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzYyNjcwNCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 33) \nDo you ever sit through a workshop\, scribble endless notes\, and then never look at them again?  \nDiscover a notetaking method that helps you capture what matters – and actually use it. Get ready to spark ideas\, shift your mindset\, and share your growth with others! \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Jessica and Coral introduce the Spark-Shift-Share notetaking strategy\, a simple yet powerful approach for translating professional development into meaningful action. \nInstead of just recording information\, learn how to capture what inspires you (“spark”)\, identify how it can change your practice (“shift”)\, and spread valuable insights through your network (“share”). \nIf you want your learning to make a real impact\, this episode is for you. Tune in for a practical walkthrough and ways to connect learning with action. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\nSend us a text\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. Today we’ll be talking about an innovative note-taking practice that can spark new insights and enhance your impact. And Coral will be sharing a practice with us. Hi Coral. How are you? Did you see what I did there? Teaser? \nCORAL OWEN: I did\, and our audience will find out soon. I’m great. Thanks for asking. I’m actually just coming off my first\, and I’m air quoting here\, “real” vacation in several years\, where I actually fully unplugged\, and it was incredible. Highly recommend. I just feel so much more energized and creative\, and I think that really stems from just letting my brain decompress. \nAnd yeah\, just seeing some beautiful new places. So yeah\, that’s what we’ve been up to the last week. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That sounds wonderful. I think I shared with you just a couple minutes ago that I think it’s been about 12 years since I’ve had like a [00:01:00] traveling full-on vacation\, and I can’t believe it’s been that long. But I’m also glad that we haven’t had any episodes about “taking vacations as a way to enhance your productivity\,” because I would be a massive hypocrite when it comes to that! \nCORAL OWEN: I think that might be a new episode idea though\, about the importance of unplugging. So let’s file that away for later. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I take vacation time. I just haven’t been anywhere in a while. \nCORAL OWEN: Indeed. Indeed. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you\, so please drop us a line at Practicing connection@oneop.org. We see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nLet’s learn more about note taking with the Spark-Shift-Share method. Coral\, can you tell us a little more about this practice and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: Sure thing. Thanks Jess. So in our last [00:02:00] episode\, we kicked off a new series on making the most of professional development opportunities by talking about setting learning intentions before you go. So taking a few moments to ask yourself\, “What do I hope to get out of this?” Today’s practice builds on that idea\, and so we’re talking about how to take notes in a way that connects directly to those intentions\, and more importantly\, helps you move from inspiration into action. So a lot of traditional note taking methods were developed for academic settings. So think outlines\, bullets\, transcribing slides\, things like that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Which are like the Cornell\, right? There’s a Cornell Method or something like that\, right\, of note taking? I remember this. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds familiar. And yeah\, you know\, whatever methodology you’ve used for just kind of your classic note taking in the past\, in learning settings\, those are great for\, you know\, test prep or memorization or things like that. But the professional development setting really is different. \nAnd the challenge typically is not just remembering what was said\, but it’s knowing what to do with it. And so the Spark-Shift-Share method [00:03:00] is a simple framework that helps us move less from capturing everything and more to capturing what really matters for us and our work and our context and all of that good stuff. And then how to integrate those ideas into your practice and relationships and work. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I am excited to hear about this practice because I tend to be the person who writes two words down and then later on goes back to it and is like\, “What do those two words mean?” So\, tell us a little bit more. Let’s walk through the practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. So as you’ve likely gathered\, there are three steps to the strategy: Spark\, Shift and Share. The first step\, Spark\, takes place in the session itself. Whatever learning activity or professional development opportunity\, you’re tapping into the second and third steps\, shift and share respectively\, they take place after the session is concluded and you’ve had a little bit of space to regroup. \nSo let’s go ahead and just dive in on how to do all of this\, shall we? Step one: [00:04:00] spark. This is really what stood out and inspired you. So instead of filling a notebook with like a play by play of what’s being said\, you’re focusing your notes more with moments that grab your attention. These are like ideas\, quotes\, even questions that light you up and make you feel connected to what brought you to this session or talk in the first place. \nAnd as we’ve already noted\, you don’t need to write everything down. Just jot down what is giving you\, you know\, maybe a phrase\, a couple words\, or\, you know\, a direct quote\, paraphrasing what is giving you the most energy and direction. And again\, you’re doing this in the session itself. And it can be on a notepad or\, you know\, in the notes app on your phone or your tablet. \nJust capturing the moment that you’re in and just letting things as they hit you\, just do little brain dumps\, you know\, along the way. So the second step is after the session is concluded\, maybe you’re on your flight home or regrouping on your first day back in the office. We’re going to step into our [00:05:00] Shift. And this is\, you know\, how might whatever sparks you’ve captured\, how might this change your thinking or practice? \nAnd so like we already said\, you’re gonna go ahead and\, you know\, grab whatever you jotted your spark notes on\, and crack ’em open. And so once you’ve reviewed what you’ve captured that stood out to you\, ask yourself a few questions\, and you can do any or all of these. \nSo the first reflection point is\, what could I do differently because of this? The second one\, how does this change how I think about my work or relationships? And the third that you could reflect on is\, where could I try this even in a small way? Hopefully this is the step where we are beginning to move from passive listening to more active learning. \nAnd this shift helps you figure out what you might actually do with these insights that you’ve gained. And so finally\, step three is share. And we begin to consider who else might benefit from this\, this being your Spark [00:06:00] notes\, or your insights and how are you going to share it. So as you may know\, connection is a huge part of the learning process\, and this part of the method invites you to think beyond your own work. \nAnd so you might ask yourself\, who in my network or team would appreciate this idea? Is it something that I could bring to a meeting\, a mentoring session\, a coffee chat? And thirdly\, to consider how might sharing this idea deep in a connection or open up a new one\, and just really bringing this all home. \nThis step is reinforcing this learning and it helps spread useful ideas throughout your community\, your team\, or your organization. And that’s it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I absolutely love how this starts to turn note taking into a full circle learning tool. Earlier I said that I tend to be the person who writes like two words down and later on I’m like\, “What do those two words mean?” But when you mentioned this is meant to shift from writing everything down that’s being said to writing just what sparks you\, \nI [00:07:00] I realize that I kind of waffle between the two words\, or writing everything down\, and neither one of those is like super helpful. So\, this is really turning note-taking into a full circle learning tool. And it’s not just something then that you do during a session\, but it’s something that helps you keep learning and connecting after it’s over. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. And I apologize if you heard me chuckling in the background\, Jess\, because I am very much like you. I either am just capturing like a word for word\, you know\, record\, or going\, “Huh? I don’t know quite what that Cliff Notes version meant\,” but\, yeah\, so I’ve used this a couple times\, in some recent learning opportunities that I’ve had\, and it really is just\, I know we say this with many practices\, but it’s so impactful. \nAnd\, you know\, even more so\, it’s just a way to stay present in the moment and reflect meaningfully afterwards. And it kind of has a ripple effect outward. You know\, the cool thing is too\, it doesn’t take any special tools. You can simply jot like a [00:08:00] Spark-Shift-Share in a notebook or a WhatsApp on your phone\, and really moving from an information overload type where you’re just\, you know\, saturated in information\, but being a lot more intentional in what we’re taking forward with us that really is gonna resonate with our work. And then moving it into intentional action with those around us and having that collective impact together. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. Thank you so much. That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a special episode focusing on military kids and school communities. Until then\, keep practicing. [00:09:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/turn-learning-into-action-with-spark-shift-share-notetaking/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/startup-594090_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250807T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250807T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250807T100505Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250804T194413Z
UID:10001612-1754546400-1754586000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Meaningful Growth: How to Make the Most Out of Every Learning Opportunity
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzYwNzgyMCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc2MDc4MjAtbWVhbmluZ2Z1bC1ncm93dGgtaG93LXRvLW1ha2UtdGhlLW1vc3Qtb3V0LW9mLWV2ZXJ5LWxlYXJuaW5nLW9wcG9ydHVuaXR5LmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc2MDc4MjAlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 31) \nAre you tired of leaving conferences or trainings feeling overloaded – like you missed what mattered most?  \nToday\, we reveal a simple\, powerful practice that can turn every professional development opportunity into meaningful\, actionable growth. Get ready to take charge of your learning with intention! \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica dive deep into the art of setting learning intentions to get more from your professional development experiences. \nJessica shares a practical reflection exercise designed to help you filter the noise\, focus on what matters to you\, and connect your learning to your real-world goals. \nWhether you’re attending a conference\, a webinar\, or any PD event\, discover how a two-minute pause can make your growth more personalized\, empowering\, and connected. \nTune in for step-by-step guidance\, insightful questions\, and actionable strategies to transform the way you learn. \nLinks\n\nJoin our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/\nSend us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hello. Thank you for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host\, Jessica is here today as well\, and we’re going to be talking about setting learning intentions. Jessica is going to be sharing today’s practice with us. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey Coral. I’m pretty good. I’m actually really looking forward to this topic series\, because I’ve had a few professional development opportunities lately\, and I realize how long it’s been now since that’s happened. To be honest\, going to these professional development opportunities\, it all felt so hectic that I’ve really appreciated what I’m learning. \nAs we’ve been putting these episodes together\, the really nice thing is that even though it’s been a while since the last conference I attended\, I’d actually forgotten how refreshing and inspiring and motivating it can be to hear how others are approaching their work\, to talk with them in the hallways and to ask them questions about how they approach [00:01:00] their projects. \nIt’s really been nice and it came at\, I think\, the perfect time for me. \nCORAL OWEN: Those can be such great touch points. I agree. I remember actually we met at a conference\, I think it was in San Antonio\, a very long time ago. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, 2016. \nCORAL OWEN: I think so. I had first begun with OneOp\, and you weren’t even quite on the project yet. Look at us now. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I know\, I know! \nCORAL OWEN: But yeah\, just so many wonderful\, just kind of a-ha light bulb moments\, and seeing people doing similar things\, maybe with a slightly different approach or angle. And it’s just like a great\, you know\, idea incubator and some fresh inputs to kind of reenergize your work. So I’m so glad that you’ve had that opportunity recently. Good deal. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. And that was a really good conference too\, I remember. \nCORAL OWEN: For sure. Oh man. And we would always love to hear what’s inspiring y’all\, our listeners. So do drop us a line if you’d love to reach out. You can reach us at Practicing [00:02:00] connection@oneop.org. We do see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nAlrighty. Let’s learn a little bit more about setting learning intentions. Jessica\, can you share a bit more about the practice you’re going to be discussing today and why you selected it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. You know\, as a team we’ve been kind of going round and round thinking about how we can best support all the participants who will be attending our annual academy this year. And our co-producer\, Erin\, she’s\, you know\, new to the team\, within the first couple of minutes of a brainstorming session she said\, “Well\, what if we produce episodes about making the most of professional development opportunities?” I don’t even think we came up with other ideas because it just felt so perfect. The idea for this series came out of the recognition that participating in professional development can often [00:03:00] feel really overwhelming. Kind of like drinking from a fire hose. \nLike I just said before\, right\, it’s been a little bit hectic and overwhelming being at these opportunities. So with so much information coming at you\, it’s really easy to walk away feeling like you may have missed what mattered the most. That’s why we’re starting with exploring the practice of setting a personal learning intention. \nAnd that’s what this practice is all about. Even a simple two minute reflection\, asking yourself what you most want to take away can really transform the experience from just kind of an information overload into maybe some meaningful growth\, or some meaningful learnings and takeaways. \nAnd I would say that we see this idea of a learning intention\, and I’m saying we\, because I think\, you know\, this has been a very co-produced episode – We see this helping in several ways. First of all\, setting a learning intention can help you design a [00:04:00] personalized experience for the learning\, right? \nThe presenters have really great learning objectives\, but if you’re setting your own learning intention\, it can ensure that you get what you wanted to get out of it\, so that the content is really meaningful and relevant to you. And then part of the reason for that is that it helps you focus. \nIt helps to kind of filter the flood of content so that you can recognize and retain what’s most valuable to you\, because you’ve identified what’s most valuable to you. And I’d say the other thing that we see this\, potentially helping with is kind of putting you in the driver’s seat of what you want. So\, I mean\, because you’re in the driver’s seat\, you’ve been empowered to listen for the content that you really want to listen for. You have developed that personalized experience. \nYou’re able then to kind of possibly increase your engagement and the likelihood of applying what you’ll learn\, because of this empowerment and the focus you’ve been able to put on [00:05:00] the topics that are meaningful to you. And then finally\, it really encourages connection\, right? If you set an intention about what you wanna get out of this\, it encourages you to notice the opportunities to connect with your peers and to tailor the experience to collaborative growth. \nAnd we’ll talk more about this in an upcoming episode. We’ll dive into this idea of connection\, and making that part of your plan for making the most out of your professional development. \nCORAL OWEN: I absolutely love the intention for this episode. So can we go ahead and just dive right in? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So like I mentioned a little bit ago\, even doing a two minute reflection can really help. So I’m going to start with an approximate two minute reflection. And then I’m going to share some follow up questions that can help if you’re stuck or unsure about what you learned. So for this two minute [00:06:00] reflection\, you’re going to start with just taking a moment\, get out a piece of paper if you want to write it. \nYou can also just think about this\, that’s fine. Get out a piece of paper\, a pen perhaps. If you want to\, you can close your eyes\, take a couple of breaths\, and just think\, “What do I want to get out of this? How does this connect to my current work or goals? What has made learning hard for me in the past and how can I support myself this time?” \nIf you identify a couple of things that you need in order to support yourself\, you may want to set those things up for yourself\, right? So write down what you need\, and kind of pursue those things that will help support your learning. So let me give you an example. Maybe because it’s a webinar\, for example\, it’s easy to be distracted by email or other notifications coming in. \nSo [00:07:00] maybe you need to just turn off all notifications\, close your email. Or maybe you need to identify if there’s anyone else you know that’s attending\, where you could maybe organize a watch party\, a virtual watch party\, or a discussion group so that you’ve kind of committed to the learning. So\, whatever it is you need\, try to arrange for that so that it will support you. \nAnd then lastly\, try to capture this. I know I said you don’t have to write it down\, and you certainly don’t\, but you may want to capture it and write it down. So\, for example\, my intention is to learn practical strategies for leading meetings so I can help my department communicate more effectively. \nRefer to this at least once during the event and maybe revisit it at the end to reflect on your progress. So if you’re stuck\, we do have actually a short list of questions that you can use to help [00:08:00] you identify what might be most important to you. I’ll admit there are times when I can’t think of an intention because I’m feeling rushed. \nI maybe just got back to 15 emails\, and now the webinar’s about to start\, and I just didn’t have any time to do it. And so\, the set of questions that we have can help support\, you could do either before the session or after. And we’re gonna have them available as a download\, but I wanna share a little snippet with you. \nSo these questions help you do things like uncovering your personal motivation for being involved\, in this particular webinar or training\, connect your learning to real world context. So that’s kind of about how does it support the work that you’re doing already\, to explore growth and change. So what might you do differently in your role? And then to focus on connection and collaboration. Who can you connect with about this? [00:09:00]\nSo\, we have a set of\, I think it’s about a dozen or so questions that can kind of help you think through that and support your professional development. \nCORAL OWEN: This was so wonderful\, Jessica. Thank you so much for guiding us through these questions and reflection points today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. You know\, I know that we do have so many great intentions when we sign up for webinars and conferences. I can’t tell you how many webinars I’ve signed up for and not been able to attend\, right? And I am always looking for ways that I can maybe just slow down my brain just a little bit. And it’s one of the reasons why I’ve really enjoyed diving into this topic\, because I think it’s something that I could work on quite a bit myself. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Just to be able to filter some of the inputs that we’re receiving and give it greater context into how it can apply\, I think is just always such a wonderful skillset to have at hand. \nWell\, that is it for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this [00:10:00] episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or colleague who may find it of interest. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/meaningful-growth-how-to-make-the-most-out-of-every-learning-opportunity/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/AdobeStock_639957065-scaled.jpeg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250731T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250731T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250731T100055Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250805T151019Z
UID:10001611-1753941600-1753981200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:The Mid-Year Check-In: Reflect\, Recalibrate\, Recommit
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzU1MzE0OCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc1NTMxNDgtdGhlLW1pZC15ZWFyLWNoZWNrLWluLXJlZmxlY3QtcmVjYWxpYnJhdGUtcmVjb21taXQuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzU1MzE0OCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 31) \nAre you moving through the year on autopilot\, or making the most of your intentions? Take a purposeful pause with us with this guided mid-year check-in designed to help you reflect on the year’s journey so far\, realign your goals\, and reset your intentions for a thriving second half of the year. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral invite listeners to hit “pause” and for a thoughtful mid-year check-in. Coral shares a reflection practice inspired by an annual vision board process—perfect for anyone looking to move beyond task lists to a deeper sense of goal alignment and intention. \nWhether your year is flying by or has thrown a few curveballs\, this episode offers space and prompts for you to take stock of what’s working\, explore where you want to pivot\, and set meaningful intentions for what’s ahead. Grab a notebook and give yourself the gift of reflection! \nLinks\n\nSend us a text\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my co-host Coral is here as well. Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica\, I’m great. Just coming off birthday week celebrations\, which has been fun. Really not like a huge to-do sort of birthday person\, but it was actually really fun. The family and I did a tiramisu tour. It’s my favorite dessert\, so they took me on a tiramisu tour over the course of about a week or so of a few favorite spots in our local area. \nAnd I have to say\, it might have been my tastiest birthday yet. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That is awesome. Over the course of a week. I thought you went all in one day when I first heard about your tiramisu tour! \nCORAL OWEN: No\, no\, no\, no! We did like\, it was probably four or five stops over the course of like seven or eight days. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, that’s awesome. And Tiramisu is also one of my all-time faves. But I don’t know\, have you ever [00:01:00] tried avocado? \nCORAL OWEN: Yes\, yes. I actually lived in Italy for several years\, so anything Italy just sings to my heart and my stomach. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, that has become one of my very favorites\, avocado\, but not very many people offer it. Not very many places offer it. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, I haven’t seen it much here. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and happy birthday to you. \nCORAL OWEN: Thank you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I think this is such a great idea. My birthday’s actually just around the corner and it was actually recently that I realized that we both have summer birthdays. I might have to copy a version of this idea. \nCORAL OWEN: What would you do? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I was thinking maybe like a cheese tour would be fun or something. We have a lot of like cheese places around here that I could go to. \nCORAL OWEN: A cheese tour sounds delightful. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I like the idea too. I was just trying to think how would I do it all in one day? Because like each cheese place is like 30 minutes to an hour away from each other\, but over the course of a week\, totally doable. \nCORAL OWEN: That is the most Wisconsin birthday tour ever. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s kind of what I was [00:02:00] thinking too. I’m like\, how am I gonna do something Wisconsin based? I did not wanna do an old fashioned tour. Cause that would’ve taken a lot. \nCORAL OWEN: Dangerous very quickly. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So\, anyway. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, so I actually\, there is one thing I actually do do each year\, and that’s a mid-year check-in. And so today our practice is actually going to be a very similar walkthrough\, to just mark that halfway mark on the calendar year and just check in with ourselves\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: How convenient that the midyear check-in happens right around your birthday. \nCORAL OWEN: Right?! \n– break – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So\, let’s learn more about this mid-year check-in. With all of the attention that I pay to productivity and practices that kind of help align me with my goals\, it’s kind of odd\, and I was reflecting on this a little bit when you first talked about doing this episode\, \n[00:03:00] it’s actually kind of odd that I don’t do mid-year check-ins. I used to do quarterly check-ins\, but they were more task oriented than anything else. So Coral\, tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it. \nCORAL OWEN: Sure thing. So this specific practice is actually adapted from an annual vision board session I lead for a women’s group at the end of December each year that walks through a series of prompts inviting us to create space. I.E. let go\, create a priority and then create intention. And this mid-year check-in is an opportunity to pause\, reflect\, and take stock of where we’re at and you know\, kind of compare to where we thought we wanted to be at the start of the year. \nYou can do this check-in regarding any or all areas of your life\, whether it be personal\, professional\, or beyond. And that’s kind of the long and short of it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: One of the things I love about this is that doing this mid-year kind of gives you permission to let go of a goal that you maybe had at the beginning of the year that you’ve decided not to pursue. So this sounds absolutely lovely. [00:04:00] Let’s go through the practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And Jess\, it’s almost like you had a sneak preview\, so this definitely\, for all of our listeners\, this may be an episode where you wish to find a quiet block of time so that you can have time and space to pause\, reflect. Perhaps write a little bit or think a little bit extra. And please do feel free to go through this at whatever speed makes sense to you or even re-listen to certain segments if you need more time to consider those certain elements. \nOr\, you know\, just circle back to things. So yeah\, let’s get down to it. So first off\, we’re just gonna kind of set the scene so\, you know\, take a breath\, and I think the biggest thing to have a successful process here\, whether mid-year check-in or if you do this also at the beginning of the year: this is not about judgments\, especially because we’re gonna take a look back on\, you know\, intentions or goals or anything that you may have said at the beginning of the year. \nIt’s not about judgment\, it’s just about [00:05:00] having awareness and alignment about where we’re currently at. And so to just set the stage\, you know\, ask yourself\, “How do I feel in this moment as I begin to check in?” \nAnd I think this is really important because if you’re feeling a bit ruffled or unsettled\, you may wish to find or circle back to this at time and space where you’re feeling a bit more centered so that you have a bit more authentic\, reflection\, and awareness of your responses and how you’re truly feeling about these certain things. \nSo\, if you’re feeling\, you know\, relatively centered\, then we’ll step forward into space number two\, and that is reviewing the year so far. \nSo I’d like to invite you to reflect back on the intentions\, goals\, or themes that you set at the start of the year. And don’t worry if you didn’t write anything down\, if you didn’t have this sort of practice to kick your year off. Just call to mind what felt important back then\, and we’ll just go through these prompts\, one by one. \nAnd again\, don’t hesitate to [00:06:00] pause if you need extra time to write. ‘Cause you’ll be going through these in your own real time. So first off\, what intentions or goals did I start the year with? In what areas of life have I made meaningful progress? \nThirdly\, where have I surprised myself? \nNumber four\, what challenges have I navigated? And number five\, what have I learned about myself in the process for space number three? \nWe’re going to step forward into the now and take a present pulse\, if you will. So we’re gonna zoom into the present moment and ground into how things are actually going: emotionally\, mentally\, physically\, practically. \nThere are four questions in this series. First off\, what feels aligned or energized to me right now? Number two\, what is feeling a bit off\, draining or misaligned? \nThe third point for consideration is\, where am I craving more support [00:07:00] or structure? And number four to round this segment out is\, what do I want more of in the second half of the year? \nSo space number four\, now that we’ve looked backwards retrospectively into the first half of the year\, we’ve taken stock of where we’re currently at\, how we’re feeling\, and where we’re situated. Now it’s time to reset and or recommit. And so space number four\, now that you’ve looked back and checked in\, made some intentional decisions about what to carry forward or to shift or pivot on. \nWe’ve got four additional questions\, and so number one is what goals or intentions still feel meaningful to me? Number two\, what might I need to let go of or pivot away from? Thirdly\, what is one small shift that I could make this month to support where I would like to go? And number four\, and I love this one\, who or what [00:08:00] can support me in the second half of the year? \nAnd then finally\, for space number five\, we’re gonna close it with a grounding element. And so it’s simple as wrapping this up with a sentence or a phrase that sums up your reflection. It could be an intention\, a commitment\, or a word for the next season\, the next six months. And that’s it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love this. It’s really interesting\, the closing piece\, the statement or the phrase or the word. It’s really been interesting to me in the past when I’ve done\, even though I said I haven’t done midyear check-ins\, I have done exercises like this before\, and that word – like I’ve even boiled it right down to a word – can be so powerful for the next you know\, however many months. \nAnd honestly\, sometimes my word hasn’t changed for quite a long time\, but I’d still keep reflecting on it. So anyway\, thank you so much for guiding us through that. \nCORAL OWEN: My pleasure. And it’s so funny that you mentioned the [00:09:00] word\, so I\, we’ve talked about the big calendar that I have on my wall\, and at the top is written my word for the year. And I really feel like that closing with a word or a phrase or whatever\, you know\, that summation is\, that really kind of boils down what your intention is. \nIt really does anchor how you move through your actions or your days\, what habits you pick up\, what habits you let go of\, how you are framing your thoughts. And it really is just a great filter that you can use in a lot of different spaces\, and situations. So I’m glad that you brought that up. \nThanks\, Jess. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and share it with a friend\, or drop us a line at practicingconnection@oneop.org. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \n[00:10:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/the-mid-year-check-in-reflect-recalibrate-recommit/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Assessment-with-service-member-AdobeStock_366371719-scaled.jpg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250724T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250724T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250704T100053Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250828T172742Z
UID:10001610-1753336800-1753376400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Easy Priority Setting with the Wheel of Life Replay
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzU0NTg3NiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc1NDU4NzYtZWFzeS1wcmlvcml0eS1zZXR0aW5nLXdpdGgtdGhlLXdoZWVsLW9mLWxpZmUuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzU0NTg3NiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 30) \nComing out of summer vacation? The Wheel of Life helps you find your focus and structure again\, and sort through the to-do list! \nIn this replay episode of Practicing Connection\, originally published in January\, 2025\, hosts Coral Owen and Jessica Beckendorf introduce the Wheel of Life as a simple tool to help set priorities and find balance by identifying areas that need attention. \nDiscover how this practice encourages intentionality\, making it easier to focus on what matters most to you each month. \nWhether it’s post-Christmas holidays\, post-summer vacation\, or any other moment of the year where things feel a little scattered and routines are broken\, the Wheel of Life is there to put it all in perspective. \nLinks\n\nThe Wheel of Life handout (for easy printing)\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Jessica Beckendorf:  Hi everyone. This is Jessica. As we wrap up our July replay series\, we’re excited to bring back one of our favorite episodes\, a conversation about setting priorities with ease using the Wheel of Life. The Wheel of Life Practice helps us pause\, reflect\, and realign our focus skills we all need as we step back to plan for what’s next. \nWhether you’re reorganizing your workspace or you’re juggling some creative ideas\, feeling the weight of too many to-dos on your list or working on some relationships\, this episode will offer you a gentle\, practical approach to finding balance and clarity. We hope you enjoy revisiting this conversation and find some inspiration to reflect on your own priorities. \nCoral Owen: Hi there\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host Jessica is here today as well. Today we’ll be talking about setting priorities with ease using the Wheel of Life\, and Jessica will be sharing a practice with us. Hi Jess\, how are you? \nJessica: I’m doing pretty great today. This time of year\, things slow down in the meeting department\, so I’m able to spend a little time cleaning my office. Actually\, I’ve been inspired this week weirdly by the simple act of cleaning my office. I use copious amounts of Post-it notes for my note taking. As I go through all these tiny Post-it notes and I recycle some old papers that I don’t need anymore and actually start to see my desk and floor again\, it’s really been having an effect on me. I want more\, and I’m not even the person that needs to have a neat workspace in order to like feel productive or get things done. \nIt’s also been fun to be inspired by myself in a lot of ways\, which sounds really weird to say it that way. I find notes with ideas on them that I wasn’t able to pursue yet\, but then I’m reinvigorated by those ideas. I’m like\, “Oh yes\, that’s right. I remember I thought of that one day\, and maybe I can like put that back into the hopper.” Along with that has been the realization that while I have a lot of really good ideas and intentions\, there really is limited time to tackle them. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s not a failure that I didn’t get to do all of the things that I intended to or that I had ideas for this year. It was really just a matter of priority. When I think back\, I feel like I did tackle the right priorities most of the time this year. I feel pretty good about that too. \nCoral: That is awesome. I have a friend\, she also lives that sticky notes life. She will from time to time do that deep cleaning\, and she has just– it’s an actual basket. She calls it the percolator. She drops the sticky notes in there. She’s like\, “This is a great idea\, but for a later time.” She just sticks them in there. I really like the idea of being kind with yourself and realizing that we do have limited time in the day\, in the week\, in our lives to do all of the things that hit our brain and they might feel magical and they probably are\, but that there needs to be prioritization and intentionality so that we can still also be ourselves. That’s great. Thanks for sharing that\, Jessica. I love that percolator idea and I might copy that. \nIt’s funny that you mentioned– I don’t know\, I think a lot of times people will share things\, when you ask them\, “Oh\, what’s inspired you?” People tend to think about what they’re reading or whatnot. In a similar vein\, I oddly have found inspiration in my kitchen. This was a little peek into my life outside the podcast realm\, but I’ve gotten into fermenting and pickling in this past year. It’s just something that has piqued my interest\, but it’s also been really intimidating for me for some time because\, I don’t know\, it’s science-y and\, I don’t know\, has always seemed a little less straightforward than a recipe and you measure and bake and it just turns out if it turns out. \nFor whatever reason\, a couple of weeks ago\, I just decided to go for it with some sauerkraut\, and it turned out great. Just my inspiration or takeaway here is that sometimes I just need to trust the process\, not overthink it and just let things do their thing. Yes\, whatever the ‘it’ is\, it can turn out okay if you just let things do what they do. \nJessica: That sounds like great advice for so many things. Also I just love that you can find inspiration in sauerkraut because as a person who really hates pickled anything and fermented things like sauerkraut\, I guess it warms my heart. Plus sauerkraut actually has a special place in my family’s heart\, even though I hate it. My family comes from an area where there’s a big sauerkraut factory and they all have worked there at one point or another. It’s interesting that I hate it so much\, great advice for trust the sauerkraut process. \nCoral: There you go. We should make a bumper sticker. We would also love to hearing what’s inspiring our listeners. Please share what’s inspiring you. You can click the message\, send us a text at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words “Do not remove\,” don’t remove them. You can type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number. We just won’t see your message. Also to protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, unfortunately\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. \nAlso if you’re listening on a computer\, you can just shoot us an email as well\, practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what is inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nAll right. Jessica\, let’s learn more about the Wheel of Life and how it can help us set priorities. Can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing it and also why you chose it? \nJessica: Absolutely. I am super excited about this because the Wheel of Life is one of my favorite practices. It’s used a lot in coaching\, but I first came to it through a planner. The planner had a monthly review that included\, among other things\, a Wheel of Life and instructions on how to use the Wheel of Life. We’ll go into the details of how to use the tool in a moment\, but it’s basically a pie chart that’s broken out into six or eight or more domains of life\, like financial\, social\, intellectual. You assess how well each of those domains are going for you. Really\, just how you feel about how they’re going for you\, and you assign a value to it. Usually it’s from 1 to 10 with 1 being you’re not feeling fulfilled in that domain of life and 10 being like you’re super fulfilled in that domain of life. \nTypically you’ll color in the spaces or you’ll draw from point to point on the pie chart\, and then the diagram that results from that helps you very quickly see the domains of life that might need your attention. I immediately took to this practice partly because it was super easy because they provided the framework\, and then on top of that\, it was really powerful because in this planner they chose domains of life that would work for– they worked for me anyway. I don’t know if they would work for most people. I guess I’m assuming that they would work for most people. \nIt was super easy and it was really powerful. Every single month I was able to quickly assess which areas of my life were feeling successful and which areas were not. Then I could set some intentions around that. Just the tracking itself was really helpful for noticing the little impromptu moments that were actually helping me with one of my goals\, partly because I was so aware of the areas of life that were feeling successful and then the areas of life that weren’t feeling successful for me\, that in the moment I started to notice like\, “Oh\, this social interaction I’m having right now is helping me with my intention that I set that I wanted to have more social interactions.” I would notice it more. It improved my noticing skills in a way. Just tracking it was really helpful. \nOver time\, I started to write in my own domains of life where it made sense. If you write in your own domains to get started\, I would recommend using some sort of framework out there that has been tested a little bit just to get started. After a while\, when you’ve been doing it\, you start to recognize maybe where the framework isn’t working for you as well\, but you could use something like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s Eight Domains of Wellness or Health.mil’s Total Force Fitness\, or whatever is important to you right now. We’ll have links to both of those resources in the show notes. Overall\, this activity\, partly because I was practicing it monthly and partly because it is such a powerful tool\, I really was able to make decisions about the upcoming month and what I felt like I needed to do in that upcoming month to just find a little bit of balance in my life. That’s why I chose it. \nCoral: I love that so much. My background is in health education\, and one of the things that we would often talk about is the multifaceted composition of identity and the habits that support health and well-being from a multitude of angles. I just love that this practice so accurately reflects how we can cultivate wellness and well-being and health in all of those different scopes and how they feed together. I would love to hear more about how we can actually do this thing. Could you guide us through some steps\, Jessica? \nJessica: Yes\, absolutely. We’re going to have a resource that you can download where you can fill out your own Wheel of Life. We’ll have an example that has the domains of life filled in for you\, and then we’ll have a blank one available as well. You’ll be able to draw this in. You’ll want to start then with a template with the domains of life already identified\, or you of course can also identify your own. If you identify your own\, I would just reiterate that you might want to use something like SAMHSA’s Eight Domains of Wellness or Health.mil’s Total Force Fitness. \nThen you’re going to go through looking at those domains and you’re going to rate your current level of satisfaction in each domain. Don’t worry about accuracy. If you can\, just go with your gut feeling or think about for each of the domains\, you could also think about what parameters would make you feel successful in that area. In my case\, I was able to go with my gut\, but I know that may not work for everyone. \nYou are going to go through each one. You’re going to say to yourself\, “Do I feel like this area rates a 1\, which is low\, or a 10\, which is high\, or somewhere in between?” Plot it out on the wheel. You can choose to color each section in\, or you can place dots and draw a line connecting those dots from domain to domain. \nThen step back. You don’t have to literally step back. Take a look at the results. Look at the shape of your diagram. Are there some areas that feel like they need attention? I want to mention that the goal here isn’t so that you work toward having all of those domains of life at a 10. It’s not so that you’re maxing them all out. This is really about how do you feel about each of those domains? Maybe there are some domains where you feel really successful at a 5\, and that’s okay. This is really about how do you feel about how things are going. \nOnce you take a look at that\, if you feel like there’s an area that needs attention\, maybe it’s relationships. You think about\, well\, what relationships in the coming month\, if I were able to do something about this domain of life\, which relationships would help me do that? What would help me create some balance in that domain? You can set a few intentions for the coming month. I do like a monthly basis\, but you can also do this annually if you prefer. \nThen you set some goals and some intentions around the domains that you feel like could use a little work. You’re not striving for perfection here. You’re just striving for a tiny bit more balance. If you felt like that relationships area was super low\, and you’re not satisfied\, and you can think of 10 things that you could do to change that\, you don’t have to do all 10 of those things. Just do a couple\, and you will already have started to make that area more successful. I love this practice of intentionality and also being able to do it throughout the year. \nCoral: Thanks for guiding us through\, Jessica. \nJessica: Oh\, absolutely. This has been hugely helpful. I’ll admit I have been out of practice with this and just doing this episode has made me pull out my old diagrams\, and I’m going to get going on it again because it really is a great exercise. \nCoral: Great. I think I may actually leverage it for myself and we can check in with each other around the first of the month. \nJessica: Love that. Yes\, let’s do that. \nCoral: Wonderful. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We’ll be back next week with a practice for habit stacking. Until then\, keep practicing. \n  \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/easy-priority-setting-with-the-wheel-of-life/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250717T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250717T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250717T100024Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260205T171657Z
UID:10001607-1752732000-1752771600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Partnering on Early Education for Military Kids Replay
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzQ4NzM0NyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc0ODczNDctcGFydG5lcmluZy1vbi1lYXJseS1lZHVjYXRpb24tZm9yLW1pbGl0YXJ5LWtpZHMuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzQ4NzM0NyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 29) \nThe collaboration you’ll hear about in this episode not only filled a critical gap for military families\, but also strengthened the bonds between the base and the local community.  \nIn this replay episode\, originally published in July\, 2024\, co-hosts Bob Bertsch and Jessica Beckendorf talk with Lisa Sapp and James Yracheta about a collaboration between Malmstrom Air Force Base and the Great Falls (MT) School District\, to provide military-connected kids access to the Transitional Kindergarten program. \nIn addition to providing early childhood education\, the program helped military families with their child care needs. \nLisa Sapp is the school liaison and James Yracheta is the former Child and Youth Services Flight Chief at Malmstrom AFB. Lisa and James share insights into how the partnership with Great Falls Public Schools got started and the factors that have helped it thrive. \nLinks\n\nTransitional Kindergarten pilot program takes off\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hey everyone. Thanks so much for joining today. I am so excited to bring you a replay of one of our favorite conversations\, the story behind the transitional Kindergarten program partnership at Strom Air Force Base in Great Falls Public Schools. We chose this episode because it’s a powerful reminder of what’s possible. \n[00:00:25] When communities come together to solve real challenges\, especially in times of uncertainty\, the collaboration you’ll hear about not only filled a critical gap for military families\, but also strengthen the bonds between the base and the local community. Whether you’re looking for inspiration\, practical ideas\, or just a great story of teamwork\, we think you’ll find something valuable here. \n[00:00:48] Let’s dive in. Hi\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. \n[00:00:55] BOB BERTSCH: I’m Bob Birch. \n[00:00:56] JESSICA BECKENDORF: Our guests today are Lisa Sapp\, school liaison [00:01:00] specialist at Moms from Air Force Base and James Ira\, former Child and Youth Services\, flight Chief 341st four support Squadron at moms from Air Force Base as well in Montana. \n[00:01:12] BOB BERTSCH: Lisa and James were part of creating a transitional kindergarten pilot program through a collaboration between the Great Falls Public School district and Malmstrom Air Force Base. We’re excited to learn more about this partnership\, which fills a gap in the local education system by providing early childhood education for the community. \n[00:01:31] Hi James. Hi Lisa. Thanks so much for joining us on Practicing Connection. \n[00:01:36] JAMES YRACHETA: Good morning. Good morning\, Robert. Good morning Jessica. Thank you for having us. \n[00:01:40] BOB BERTSCH: So great to have you here. Maybe we can start by getting to know you a little bit better. Can each of you tell us a little bit about yourselves? Lisa\, why don’t we start with you. \n[00:01:51] LISA SAPP: Okay. Uh\, so my name is Lisa Sapp. I am the school liaison for Strom Air Force Base. Actually\, um\, next month there’ll be [00:02:00] four years in the seat. I had started in August of 2020\, so this past four years has gone by pretty quickly. I’m from the Great Falls area. I grew up here\, actually went through Great Falls. \n[00:02:12] Public schools left and joined the military. Returned\, became a teacher for Great Falls public Schools\, and then was hired by James to be the school liaison specialist here at Malmstrom. \n[00:02:24] BOB BERTSCH: And James\, how about you? \n[00:02:26] JAMES YRACHETA: So I’ve been working with the Air Force John Youth programs in the management role for over 14 years and three years as a caregiver. \n[00:02:33] Prior to that. Had various roles within Air Force talent\, youth programs. Spent time in Alaska\, open out Japan\, South Carolina\, Montana\, of course\, just fulfilling these roles. And\, uh\, yeah\, it’s been quite the\, the journey. And\, um\, back in 2020\, I accepted a job at Mount Air Force Base and one of the first roles I had with two select school liaison\, program manager for the installation. \n[00:02:56] And lo and behold\, Lisa was on that list and by far [00:03:00] one of the best selections I’ve made as\, as a manager. \n[00:03:03] JESSICA BECKENDORF: I love hearing that. So Lisa\, I think I’m gonna direct this at you\, but James\, I would welcome you to fill in any blanks because I would love to hear a little bit more about Malmstrom Air Force Base and the Great Falls Montana community. \n[00:03:15] It sounds like you both know a lot about both of those. \n[00:03:18] LISA SAPP: Malmstrom has been here since the sixties\, so the mission here is Intercon mental ballistic. This was ICBMs. And so while the installation is. Small\, the actual\, like the missile field is. The largest in the United States. So we’re part of 20th Air Force and under Air Force Global Strike Command. \n[00:03:42] And so the three missile bases\, uh\, for the Air Force are Effie Warren in Wyoming\, great Falls\, Montana\, and Minot\, um\, in North Dakota. So we’ve had a long. Presence here in the community and\, uh\, long time to\, you know\, form those [00:04:00] relationships and kind of keep things going. But yeah\, our mission is unique. \n[00:04:04] While Montana is like the fourth largest state or something like\, you know\, one of the least populated states. And so the community surrounding the installation compared to some other areas of the world is\, is quite small. So we have great falls. Public schools\, uh\, serves around. 10\,000\, uh\, 200 students. \n[00:04:23] About 11 or 12% of those are military connected. So Great Falls community is kind of unique\, whereas on one end of town\, on the east side\, TRO Air Force base exists on the west side of town. We also have the Montana Air National Guard headquarters. We have man\, and so Great falls. As far as military student concentration is unique in Montana. \n[00:04:47] ’cause there is no other city across the state that has as high of a concentration. \n[00:04:54] JAMES YRACHETA: Yeah\, and I’ll just add the\, the plug. You know\, um\, Lisa kind of nailed it\, you know\, when she mentioned that Malmstrom is a [00:05:00] unique installation. Um\, I’ve been working with\, uh\, a seven other installations throughout my career. \n[00:05:05] And Machu is unique in its own way\, in the sense that you’re right\, it’s\, it’s out there\, right and almost the middle of nowhere. And so the partnership with the community is more impaired than ever because it’s unique in so many ways. \n[00:05:18] BOB BERTSCH: The project that we’re talking about today is about a transitional kindergarten program\, and I’m wondering what exactly that means. \n[00:05:27] What’s a transitional kindergarten program? \n[00:05:30] LISA SAPP: Montana currently is one of the few states left\, um\, that does not fund universal preschool\, uh\, for everyone. And so what that means is for the school districts who have the resources and the funding is they have to allocate to provide that early childhood education. \n[00:05:47] They have to take some government funding. They took some COVID funding. I mean\, they\, they fund from all over the place\, special education funding. Um\, they can’t legally call it preschool. So what they do is they call it transitional [00:06:00] kindergarten\, and so that they offer it in a limited capacity\, so it meets some of those government funding requirements. \n[00:06:07] Um\, that’s the best and simplest way I can probably explain it. And so what Great Falls Public School is\, is able to do\, they’re. The second largest school district in the state. First is buildings Montana to the south of us. So as far as resources go comparative to all the smaller school districts sur uh\, surrounding great falls in the installation\, they have the means to be able to have a building and then select students who meet a specific criteria\, um\, in order to receive early childhood education. \n[00:06:39] JESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s really interesting. I\, I actually didn’t know that there were some states who didn’t fund pre-K and. This makes me wonder\, right. Given that it wasn’t being offered\, you know\, kind of anywhere around. How did the idea then for transitional kindergarten program\, um\, in Great Falls come about? What was that spark like? \n[00:06:57] How\, how did that start to happen? I. [00:07:00] So\, \n[00:07:01] LISA SAPP: I mean\, we have some other options outside of the public school system for for pre-K\, but they’re all private. And so it has a cost of families with the exception of like Head Start programs\, which is another like government funded early childhood education program. \n[00:07:16] I should start by saying that Maelstrom is also unique because\, uh\, we are a missile base\, um\, which means that we are heavy on missiles and security forces who tend to be demographically very young\, so 18 to 25. And so they’re either single airmen or they’re newly married and they have little kids. So we’re really heavy on elementary school like. \n[00:07:40] Under four years old population. So where we found ourselves in 2020 when like the world shut down\, we have a child development center on the base\, but they are limited in their capacity. There is really not enough spots for to take care of all of our families. Um\, and so we were [00:08:00] faced with a lot of the downtown programs not being available and we had a long wait list. \n[00:08:06] Of families seeking care. Um\, and what we learned and\, and what the Air Force always kind of knew is that\, you know\, like our military members can’t focus on the mission if they’re worried about what’s going on at home. And so we were looking around going like\, gosh\, we have this wait list. What resources do we have? \n[00:08:23] What partnerships do we have? What exists? And then how do we invoke that conversation? And fortunately\, the Superintendent of Great Falls Public Schools has really prioritized the base in regards to that community partnership piece. And we had a relationship in place. Where we could go and\, and make that ask. \n[00:08:44] Um\, and that’s not a simple ask to make. That’s we’re asking you to allocate more money and more funding and teachers and resources to support our families\, and they didn’t hesitate. \n[00:08:56] JAMES YRACHETA: I think the\, uh\, the support of the military family support that came out [00:09:00] around that time really ignited the enhancement of collaborations between Malmstrom and Great Falls Public Schools. \n[00:09:07] And like Lisa said. At the time\, uh\, there was a big wait list for\, for childcare\, right. And also the\, you know\, the airmen still have to report to work every single day. So yeah\, all the stars aligned. We had a great partnership between our installation and Great Falls public schools. And though it wasn’t an easy ask\, it\, you know\, both sides made it happen one way or the other. \n[00:09:29] And\, um\, because of the 18 families are now able to receive that type of support each year. \n[00:09:36] LISA SAPP: So Montana\, because we are not a universal preschool state\, we’re in the red. And in order to change that\, the state would have to fund universal preschool. That\, however\, was not a barrier for Great Falls public schools. \n[00:09:49] They didn’t look at this report and say\, well\, it’s not gonna turn green if we do this\, so what’s the point? Um\, they said\, well\, this is within the locus of our control and we wanna help. If [00:10:00] anything\, COVID provided a lot of\, um\, opportunities for the community to come together and pool our resources and troubleshoot issues in creative ways. \n[00:10:09] And so this report exists. We’re still in the red despite the TK program now being up and running\, but we’re inching closer towards\, you know\, the\, the finish line of\, of getting that universal pre-K next legislative session. Let’s hope. \n[00:10:24] JESSICA BECKENDORF: It sounds like the wheels were in motion already\, but do you feel like COVID was a little bit of a catalyst? \n[00:10:29] Like people were a little more willing to come together or how\, how did that play a part? \n[00:10:34] JAMES YRACHETA: I\, I think\, uh\, it\, it was already in play\, but the\, like I said\, the stars aligned\, right? Lisa staff came on board. We had a mission support group commander also take command around that same time\, who was really passionate with\, uh\, with education. \n[00:10:49] ’cause he had his kids of his own. And also knew that that was one of the\, the five factors. Um\, sorry\, just to help me out with that. Five to thrive. Five to thrive\, \n[00:10:59] LISA SAPP: [00:11:00] yeah. \n[00:11:00] JAMES YRACHETA: Yeah. Nailed it. You know\, it was part of the retention of\, of airmen throughout the Air Force. So again\, everything aligned. We had the\, the partnership already there\, but I don’t think it was where it needed to be. \n[00:11:09] But again\, Lisa took the role\, our former MSG Commander\, you know\, took his spot. And once all\, uh\, air Bit was in place\, you know\, the idea started rolling. Yeah. It was the\, the catalyst that we needed to make those\, uh\, those unique incentives happen. \n[00:11:23] LISA SAPP: So what I will say is sometimes things happen and it’s a catalyst for change. \n[00:11:29] Um\, and COVID was definitely a negative thing. Mm-hmm. Um\, but it did have some positive results for us because it forced us to look at situations in new ways. Um\, so our MSG commander at the time\, um\, his name was Colonel rn\, and he went by his four rules. Uh\, not necessarily rules\, but. Ideas for partnership were luck\, skill\, relationship\, and timing. \n[00:11:55] And we’re in the middle of COVID\, like we’re coming out of the other side\, [00:12:00] you know\, 2020. You know\, we shut down in the spring and then by the fall\, uh\, you know\, 2020\, going into 2021 school year\, um\, things were virtual hybrid. It\, it was messy. I mean\, it’s the worst time you wanna go to a community partner and say\, Hey\, I know the school district is a mess right now\, and everybody’s scrambling to try and figure things out\, but\, hey\, can you help us out too? \n[00:12:23] In the world of education\, you have to realize\, I mean\, unless you’ve actually worked in. The trenches with these folks\, they’re answering 150 questions even before breakfast. By 11 o’clock in the morning. They’ve already had three meetings\, you know\, and four parent phone calls. Um\, so at every single level of their organization\, at the district level\, at the building level\, in the classroom level\, everybody’s plate is overflowing. \n[00:12:50] And now we’re throwing everybody into a virtual. You know\, teach\, teach online now and just pivot and do this and do that. Um\, and now Mastro comes to the [00:13:00] table and say\, Hey\, can we\, can we get some help with our pre-K? And\, but it\, they didn’t even hesitate to question any of that\, and that is because. At their core\, they want what’s best for kids and they view the military as an important community partner. \n[00:13:21] Um\, and they understand how it’s going to help the mission. And so\, you know\, like all of these things\, we had\, um\, an MSG commander who had a background in public affairs and understood how important the community piece was. We had\, uh\, a flight chief who had come in and he was ready to do whatever it is that I asked him to do. \n[00:13:41] Like he was my absolute wingman. If I needed to elevate or network or pivot or I needed him to do this\, he didn’t question. He just did it. And then the school liaisons what our job is it. It’s vast. Um\, and it varies\, but like we’re responsible for the footwork. So [00:14:00] I’m writing the emails and the proposals\, and I am setting up the meetings and I’m trying to do all of these things that it’s a team effort at the end of the day\, and all three of those pieces are so critically important. \n[00:14:13] So if I really want this. That’s okay. But I also have to have that buy-in from leadership and I also have to have that buy-in from my flight\, um\, to kind of drive these partnerships forward. \n[00:14:25] BOB BERTSCH: James\, I’m wondering\, as Lisa said\, I. The school district was really ready to step forward. But it sounds like maybe that’s part of a broader relationship between Malmstrom and the Great Falls community. \n[00:14:37] Are there other partnerships? Are there other collaborations? Was there kind of groundwork that\, you know\, helped set the foundation for this particular collaboration? \n[00:14:45] JAMES YRACHETA: You know\, I\, I\, I don’t think so. I think that was\, we had things that we wanted to do and we had\, you know\, we had discussed. Um\, and we’re still to this day\, continuing to work on those\, those different ideas. \n[00:14:57] But I think that was probably the biggest one that\, that [00:15:00] really took that partnership and that relationship off was the transitional kindergarten program. Yeah. Easily. You know\, we’re working with the\, the high schools right now for a job shadowing opportunities for\, you know\, different various\, um\, areas on the base. \n[00:15:14] Um\, not just for our Junior Air Force ROTCs\, but for the kids who are looking for culinary\, um\, opportunities\, you know\, after high school or childcare opportunities\, you know\, so\, yeah\, no\, that was\, uh. That’s probably the biggest thing that\, uh\, you know\, we focused on at the time. ’cause again\, it\, it wasn’t an easy lift. \n[00:15:29] It was an easy Yes. Uh\, but to get to where we initiated that\, that care almost two or three years ago now. It was a lot of\, a lot of work on\, on Lisa’s end and yeah. You know\, she did the\, the heavy lifting. I just\, whatever she needed\, I was like\, let’s\, let’s do it. Let’s set the meetings up. Let’s go. Whether it was with the group commander installation\, uh\, wing commander or whoever it was\, we were\, we were making it happen. \n[00:15:53] So. \n[00:15:54] LISA SAPP: Prior to my coming into the position\, um\, the school liaison role had been kind of left\, [00:16:00] not intentionally left vacant\, but the previous school liaison had been multitasked into other parts of child and youth in other areas. There was a period of time where there wasn’t a lot of activity from the office\, so when I came in\, those partnerships really had to be rebuilt a little bit and reestablished. \n[00:16:21] And so fortunately like. And this could have been awkward. Um\, but fortunately it wasn’t because the folks at Great Falls Public schools were so\, are just so great. Um\, but you know\, I used to work for them and I left that position to go take another one. And so\, you know\, like now I go to board meetings and I’m talking about base stuff instead of like\, you know\, doing special education in the classroom\, um\, which is a hard role to fill. \n[00:16:49] And they could have been resentful and they could have made things difficult and they right. Didn’t have to cooperate\, but they did. And it’s because it’s not personal. It’s about the big [00:17:00] picture. And I left on positive terms\, um\, knowing that I was gonna go into a role where I was going to have to work with these folks. \n[00:17:07] And they’re great folks. I. But they have their own needs and their own objectives\, and now I have to come in as a community partner and continually make demands upon them to\, to ease local policies and practices within the school system to make things easier for our military families to navigate. So. \n[00:17:25] I’m not the only community partner they have to contend with. There’s other organizations that are also doing the same thing that also have needs and are advocating for their student populations. Um\, so I’m one of many voices at the table that are just saying\, Hey\, we need something from you. But that is a reciprocal relationship. \n[00:17:44] So inversely part of building and rebuilding and cultivating that relationship is doing stuff. For them whenever possible. And that’s hard to do in the military because we have so many limitations on what we can and cannot do. [00:18:00] But you look for opportunities to highlight your partnership\, to highlight the good works that they do. \n[00:18:05] Um\, and that makes. Continually coming to the table and asking for favors much easier. I cannot reciprocate to the degree that they’ve supported us\, but I can do what’s in within my power to make sure the community and our installation\, leadership and Air Force knows that we have true partnership with this school district and that they are doing the good work to support our military families. \n[00:18:33] JESSICA BECKENDORF: And Lisa\, I would add that you were reciprocating by helping them to address something that they care very much about. So you guys have both kind of gone into\, um\, a little bit of what your role was\, but I would love to hear a little bit more about your kind of specific roles in making the partnership happen. \n[00:18:51] When \n[00:18:52] JAMES YRACHETA: I hired Lisa\, I was still in a different. Position at a different installation. So\, okay. I was down in San Antonio as [00:19:00] the\, as a Air Force Services Center employee. Um\, we call ’em the dreaded inspectors\, right? We go off different installations and inspect the child youth programs to make sure they’re in compliance with different\, you know\, public laws and uh\, air force laws and so forth. \n[00:19:14] So I had accepted the job at Malmstrom\, but COVID hit\, so I was still stuck in San Antonio\, and my boss at the time was like\, Hey\, man\, one of your first. Responsibility\, you need to hire a school liaison program manager. I had never stepped foot into Great Falls. I had no idea what it was like. Never even stepped foot at rum Air Force Base. \n[00:19:32] Um\, I mentioned East Installation is different even though we’re all Air Force. So I had no idea. Right? So I looked at the applicants\, I saw at Lisa. I had a lot of experience within the education system\, and I know. That’s probably the most critical piece to a school liaison program manager is\, uh\, the education\, right? \n[00:19:49] We can pick up the Air Force requirements. That’s\, that’s no big deal. You can look at it\, refer to it. No\, that’s\, that’s not an issue. What I knew the\, the hard part was like\, Hey\, I need somebody who’s gonna have that [00:20:00] experience already working in the school district. Who knows? Great Falls really\, really well. \n[00:20:05] That way that makes that\, um\, transition a lot easier. Right. And to\, to build off that partnership. So that was the first big thing. Uh\, again\, I was walking in blindly on\, I don’t know what Great Falls was. You know\, I knew I was gonna move there in two months or whenever the\, they allowed me to. So also to add\, I didn’t know what the partnership was like at the time either. \n[00:20:24] Right. Like\, uh\, Lisa said the lady who was filling in the position. She was dualhead\, so I was kind of working with her. At the time she was school liaison slash youth program director\, so she helped me out as much as I could to understand what the\, the environment and climate was like between Mastro and Great Falls. \n[00:20:43] But I\, I didn’t know the extent until I. I stepped foot and really\, you know\, dove in with Lisa to start working some of those initiatives around August\, September timeframe. \n[00:20:53] LISA SAPP: One of the first things that happened when I came on in 2020 is that supported Military Families report dropped\, [00:21:00] and our director of staff reached out to the superintendent and was like\, why do we have an F on our report card? \n[00:21:05] Nobody knew anything about this report\, how it was scored. Even that it was on a curve. Like all of these things\, little details\, we had no idea. Our superintendent took it really personally. And so one of the first things that I had to do as soon as I got into the position\, mind you\, I didn’t have a computer yet. \n[00:21:25] I didn’t have a work phone. Um\, I was operating off my own personal cell phone\, like making all of this\, trying to\, to set up meetings and do all\, and like I knew nothing about the Air Force side. All I know is education. So. I fortunately had a really great MSG Commander who was very easy\, and we got in front of him and had a good meeting with the MSG Commander first to say\, okay\, these are our immediate needs right now as far as education and childcare. \n[00:21:56] So COVID happened\, right? And we had no [00:22:00] idea. The reverberations and the impacts. This would have the school system being shut down and our military members not being able to go out and trying to find care and then also try to protect ourselves from this illness that was spreading. And I mean like there was just so many things happening at the same time. \n[00:22:20] But then there’s this report and we got a bad grade and our Great Falls Public school Superintendent\, superintendent Moore\, which today is his last day\, he is retiring. So congratulations\, Tom. But you know\, he wanted to talk about this report. And what does all of this mean? So this was a few meetings. Talk to the MSG first and\, okay\, this is what our needs are. \n[00:22:42] This report is here. We need to go meet with them and kind of like calm everybody’s nerves because like this\, on top of everything else was just the cherry on top\, you know? And so we’re looking at the categories. There’s mental health\, there’s graduation rates\, and all of these things. [00:23:00] And just looking at it\, just going like\, okay\, where are our problems right now? \n[00:23:04] What can we fix right now? We have a need for childcare. We also have this report that says we need\, um\, universal preschool. And then it became a conversation where now we could go to the district and say\, this is really where we need your support. This report exists. And I know you got a bad grade and I’m sorry\, but right now we have to kind of set that aside and\, and look at our immediate needs as an installation. \n[00:23:29] How do we get our military members back out into the field? How do we alleviate some of the fears that they have leaving their kids? They don’t have care. All of these things are kind of just out there. And so had a meeting with the MSG Commander up to visit the superintendent and his assistant superintendents and say\, okay\, we have a wait list of\, and I can’t remember how many kids were on the wait list\, but it was enough to fill a classroom\, and we just said\, all we need from you [00:24:00] if you were willing to try and work with us is one classroom in your TK program. \n[00:24:06] So these children on the wait list can have a place for care. And\, you know\, there was silence at the table and we’re looking at each other and we’re absorbing\, you know\, like\, and this is not an easy ask. I need your money. I need your manpower. I need your time. Please give all of these things to us. \n[00:24:24] Despite getting a bad grade from the Air Force on this report. And there wasn’t really any hesitation. Um\, they knew it was. What was needed for the mission to continue. Uh\, they knew it was what was needed for our military members to know that their child is taken care of so they can return to the field and continue their operations. \n[00:24:45] This is all within the first three months of me being hired. I was like\, what did I do? Uh\, this\, this is scary. But\, you know\, at the same time though\, um. Very purposeful work [00:25:00] to see an actual problem and to be able to work within the community to solve it\, and that’s rare and very\, very cool. \n[00:25:09] BOB BERTSCH: It’s really interesting to hear all of these things that came together and I’m reminded of\, you know\, what you mentioned about your commander saying\, you know\, the four things about partnerships and one of those being luck. \n[00:25:19] What potentially was a\, a negative in terms of the grade on the report provided a little bit of that spark to get this\, get the partnership going. \n[00:25:29] LISA SAPP: 100%. So the timing\, you know\, you would think COVID would be like the worst time\, but actually played into our favor. I had a relationship with the school district. \n[00:25:40] I knew the superintendent\, I used to work with him. Uh\, his assistant superintendent\, Heather\, used to be my principal. So I had that relationship and we were lucky to have an MSG commander who really understood the community piece. And we were lucky to have a flight chief to really understand and speak to the [00:26:00] programming needs that were missing. \n[00:26:03] Fortunately\, all of us\, I think\, were skilled enough to negotiate\, um\, a pathway forward that kind of benefited everybody. So\, yeah\, l skill\, relationships\, timing. I’ll never forget it. \n[00:26:15] BOB BERTSCH: James\, are there other lessons that you learned about installation and community partnerships\, you know\, through this process? \n[00:26:22] JAMES YRACHETA: Yeah\, a couple\, a couple sticks to mind. Um\, one of ’em\, it’s\, it’s possible\, right? Uh\, each installation and community have their own needs and\, and wants. And I think the important thing is to\, gosh\, really work with those community members\, both sides\, whether it’s installation or the\, the\, you know\, the community are willing to give and help out whatever they can do. \n[00:26:43] ’cause we know we can’t\, we one can’t exist without the other. That’s number one. And then number two is people want the best for the military youth and\, and the airmen. You know\, it’s not gonna be easy by any means\, but if you have the the right people in place\, um\, with the right intentions\, [00:27:00] I mean truly any\, anything is possible. \n[00:27:02] I know this is\, we’re only talking about the transitional\, um\, kindergarten program right now\, but the things that Lisa and team have in place for military\, uh\, families and youth. It’s only gonna help\, you know\, not just the installation\, but off the grade quality as well. So it’s doable\, right? It may look differently at wherever the installation’s at or wherever they’re trying to overcome\, but it’s very much possible. \n[00:27:25] Just gotta get a little creative sometimes. \n[00:27:28] LISA SAPP: I\, I will add to that. So\, you know\, any school liaison going into the seat\, one of the first things you need to do is first of all\, get your bearings\, but the next piece is identify. What your program supports currently\, and then who your community partnerships are and make sure that you do immediate outreach to introduce yourself. \n[00:27:51] Set up a meeting. Don’t have an agenda. Uh\, straight out the gate just. A meet and greet\, get to know\, you know\, if you need anything\, here’s my [00:28:00] contact information. The hard part about the military is the lack of continuity\, like the\, it’s our strength and it’s our\, also our greatest weakness. And so when you have folks who\, we have installation commanders for two years\, that’s it. \n[00:28:16] And really\, you know\, like the first. Three to six months are dicey ’cause they’re still learning their role and then the last six months are really dicey ’cause they’re looking ahead to the next place. But for the community\, our community partners who aren’t military\, a lot of them are there for long periods of time and they have seen leadership come and leadership go and program managers come in and programming managers leave. \n[00:28:40] It’s a constant rotation of characters and so it’s easy to kind of let those relationships slide because. You know\, like if there’s not somebody there to immediately pick up the torch and carry on\, then things taper off. So assess the health of your program\, assess the health of your partnerships\, and that gives you a good starting [00:29:00] place\, uh\, to see where you need to go. \n[00:29:02] And then once you have an assessment of like what your needs are\, like\, what your program covers\, where your gaps are\, then you can go to your community partners and say\, Hey\, this is where we could intersect. This is where we could support each other. Um\, this is where\, you know\, we can make change and make things better. \n[00:29:22] Yeah. The military’s hard. Our continuity piece is we\, it’s a struggle. It’s such a struggle. A lot of our program managers of our helping agencies are spouses of military members\, and so they’re in the seat for two to four years. And then they’re gone. And then we have to go through the hiring piece. And every\, anybody who’s ever applied for a federal job knows how long it takes to get onboarded. \n[00:29:46] So there’s those gaps. And then trying to find people to fill in the gaps. And so\, like we are\, it’s always a slippery slope of trying to keep things current and keep those relationships\, you know\, keep cultivating them and\, and making them\, you know\, a [00:30:00] priority. It’s so hard. The military in itself is a unique organization that has unusual impacts on the community. \n[00:30:09] We don’t operate like other organizations do. We have very strict rules and regulations regards to what we can and cannot do. Um\, and so sometimes when they come to us and ask us for support\, we\, we can’t. And so\, you know\, if you have that positive relationship with them. That you can explain to them\, this is why we can’t\, and they accept it. \n[00:30:31] They don’t have hard feelings. But if those relationships don’t exist prior\, and they come to us with an ask and we say no\, well\, then they’re like\, Ugh. I don’t wanna deal with them anymore. So there’s a lot that goes into it. Like we\, we place unusual demands upon communities and we have unique needs and circumstances based on what our missions is. \n[00:30:54] And so I think the key takeaway is for leadership and program managers\, [00:31:00] schools don’t sound like a big deal until they are\, COVID was an unusual circumstance and thankfully\, like we had. The right people. We had the right place. We had good timing\, lux skill\, relationship\, timing. Again\, to navigate that. But it’s easy from a leadership perspective to be like\, oh\, it’s just the school system that’s not\, that’s not that big of a deal. \n[00:31:23] And yeah\, that\, I guess that could be true until something big happens. And then it is a big deal. And then like you wanna be proactive\, um\, and have those relationships in place and then not be left sweeping up glass per se\, trying to\, you know\, work things out\, um\, with folks that aren’t familiar with each other. \n[00:31:44] We’re going into our third year of the transitional kindergarten program. It’s\, it’s no longer a pilot program. It is a program. What Great Falls Public Schools is able to do. They have seven classrooms now. Um\, one of them is allocated specifically [00:32:00] for children living on the installation\, and it supports 18 students\, and four of those spots are specifically for students with. \n[00:32:07] Special education needs. They have onsite\, uh\, speech therapy\, occupational therapy\, school psychologists\, um\, behaviorists all in one location\, and our families now have access where previously they would not have qualified. And so we’re going into our third year\, we hope at some point to grow the program. \n[00:32:31] Great Falls Public Schools has taken it upon themselves to provide. Provide this\, all of the heavy lifting really for the creation of the hiring of the teacher\, the paraprofessionals\, the materials\, the busing and transportation costs. All of these\, they have allocated\, um\, these resources specifically to us to support the mission\, and we are incredibly grateful. \n[00:32:57] JESSICA BECKENDORF: I have really enjoyed hearing about this. We [00:33:00] always love to close with asking you if there’s a practice that has been helpful in your work or to you individually that you would be willing to share with us. What keeps you going in your work? For me\, \n[00:33:12] LISA SAPP: I think you have to kind of love. Working with people\, you have to want to have those engagements. \n[00:33:20] You want to look on the installation and off the installation for opportunities to intersect and support programs using. Collaboration\, collaboration is so important. So I’m an office of one. I’m one deep. I can do things by myself\, but it’s certainly not as fun. So I’m constantly looking to other\, helping agencies on base or other\, um\, programs on base to see where we can collaborate and support our military families and\, and children. \n[00:33:52] And in the same breath\, I’m also looking to the community\, um\, to find new. And interesting ways to engage with students in [00:34:00] the school systems and open up and demystify the base a little bit and bring them onto the installation and show them what’s out here. So that is what I love about this job. I have a lot of freedom and a lot of autonomy and a lot of opportunity to build things from scratch. \n[00:34:18] Um\, the TK program was one of them\, um\, and it had some really positive and meaningful and impactful results. These children who wouldn’t have access to early childhood education now\, do you know? And now bringing high school students on to do job shadows and navigate\, you know\, the base and learn what’s out here and then see what other\, if they are not interested in joining the military\, you know\, how they can have a job and a career living and working in great falls. \n[00:34:47] But at the base\, I’m not a recruiter\, but I’m maybe kind of a civilian recruiter. Um\, I like. Building things. I like collaborating and I like working with others. [00:35:00] So I mean\, if\, if those are three things that you like too\, this job would be great for you. \n[00:35:05] JESSICA BECKENDORF: I like you. James. What keeps you going in your work? \n[00:35:07] What’s a practice that you\, you employ? \n[00:35:10] JAMES YRACHETA: Yeah\, so just working with others. Right. And then specifically for the\, the TK program. It’s just\, it was a long process\, but to finally see it\, you know\, happening and still continuing to happen to this day\, I think that. Seeing the results\, right? Doing so much work and seeing the impact it’s having for our\, our youth\, number one. \n[00:35:29] And also number two\, the\, the installation\, right? Like\, again\, ham is a very unique in the sense that it\, it can’t close. Like we have an important job over there. And having those ready to go at any\, uh\, moment’s notice. And then like you said\, just working with everyone\, like be open to ideas. There’s no bad idea that’s gonna benefit. \n[00:35:50] Our military youth\, our installation\, our\, you know\, our local communities\, and just be\, be willing to do the work wherever’s needed. Uh\, just keep that end goal on site [00:36:00] and yeah\, it’ll be good. \n[00:36:03] LISA SAPP: I think one last thing I’ll add is in order to get folks on board\, in order to get our school systems on board\, look for ways to leverage military and Air Force resources to not only support military kids\, but to support all kids. \n[00:36:19] And that is a good way of approaching new ideas and new partnerships with school systems. \n[00:36:24] BOB BERTSCH: Lisa James\, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. \n[00:36:28] LISA SAPP: Thank you for having us. \n[00:36:31] BOB BERTSCH: Lisa Sapp is a school liaison specialist at Malmstrom Air Force Base\, and James ceta is a former child and youth services flight chief at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana. \n[00:36:43] To learn more about the transitional kindergarten program partnership\, check out the link in our show notes.[00:37:00]\n[00:37:05] JESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today’s episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’d also love to hear what you’ve been thinking about and what’s inspiring you. You can share that with us by clicking the Send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. \n[00:37:22] If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at Practicing connection@oneop.org. We can’t wait to hear from you. \n[00:37:33] The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of one-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 dash 4 8 7 70 dash 4 1 3 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/206701/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/pexels-rdne-stock-project-8363772-scaled.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250710T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250710T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250710T105117Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250828T172906Z
UID:10001606-1752127200-1752166800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Improve Your Feedback with Gratitude and Vulnerability Replay
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” 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use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzQ4MzUzMSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc0ODM1MzEtaW1wcm92ZS15b3VyLWZlZWRiYWNrLXdpdGgtZ3JhdGl0dWRlLWFuZC12dWxuZXJhYmlsaXR5LmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTc0ODM1MzElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 28) \nFeedback\, when it’s done well\, can energize\, motivate and strengthen our relationships – whether at work\, at home\, or in our communities.  \nBut it’s not always easy. \nIn this replay episode from early 2024\, hosts Bob Bertsch and Jessica Beckendorf explore the nuances of giving and receiving feedback\, to make feedback less stressful and more meaningful. \nThey emphasize its role in personal and professional growth\, and Jessica shares a practical readiness checklist\, offering valuable insights for enhancing feedback practices. \nLinks\n\nDare to Lead: The Engaged Feedback Checklist (Brené Brown)\nListening for Strengths and Values (S.5\, Ep.2)\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF:   Hey everyone\, this is Jessica. Today\, we’re replaying a Practicast that’s all about a skill we can always use more of: giving and receiving feedback. We chose this episode because feedback\, when it’s done well\, can energize\, motivate and strengthen our relationships\, whether at work\, at home\, or in our communities. But it’s not always easy. By far. \nThis conversation offers honest insights and practical steps to make feedback less stressful and more meaningful. Drawing on the wisdom of Brene Brown\, and real life experience\, whether you’re looking to grow as a leader\, a teammate\, or a friend\, we hope this episode gives you tools and inspiration to approach feedback with courage and care. \nLet’s dive in. \n– break – \nBob: When done well\, feedback can energize\, engage\, and positively motivate both the giver and the receiver. It’s an act of gratitude and vulnerability. Hi everyone. This is Bob. Welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection practicast\, where we highlight a specific practice you can use in your personal and professional growth. \nThis week’s practice is focused on giving and receiving feedback. My Practicing Connection co-host\, Jessica Beckendorf\, is going to be guiding us through a practice in a few minutes\, but first\, let’s talk more about this giving and receiving feedback. Hi\, Jessica. I’d like to know why you think we need practice giving and receiving feedback. \nJessica: Giving and receiving feedback can be really difficult because it involves vulnerability. Researcher Brené Brown has been quoted as saying that\, “Feedback should be as vulnerable for the person giving it as it is for the person receiving it.” I think that’s a really interesting way to think about it because when you are going to be giving feedback\, you often have been thinking about it for a long time\, right? Sometimes the person who’s receiving the feedback is sort of getting a little blindsided. \nWhen you have this in mind\, this idea that the feedback should be as vulnerable for the person giving it as it is for the person receiving it\, I think it puts you in the right headspace for giving the feedback. When you give feedback\, you are communicating what you value and any boundaries associated with that value or those values. That’s why it is also vulnerable for the person giving feedback. It’s one of the reasons why. \nLikewise\, of course\, the person receiving feedback is in a vulnerable position. I think it’s really common\, I’ve been guilty of this to sugarcoat or even skip feedback for a lot of reasons. It feels difficult. We assume that what we want to say\, even if our heart is in the best place and we really want to see this person grow\, and that’s why we have the feedback\, but we’re afraid that they’re going to receive it as criticism. Maybe we like the person and we’re afraid the feedback will hurt their feelings. \nWe might resist or avoid getting feedback because it can feel like straight up criticism\, or it can be triggering for us\, or because we have maybe a fear of failure or a fear of letting people down\, or because it can touch on some deeper stories that we tell ourselves about who we are and our worth in society. Because we need healthy relationships to live and work in this world\, getting better at giving and receiving feedback is a really crucial skill to develop\, I think. \nBob: You alluded to this hurting people’s feelings. I’m wondering how we can keep our feedback from doing that\, from becoming personal or from\, on the other side of it\, taking our feedback personally. \nJessica: Yes\, there’s so much here. I’ll bring Brené Brown’s work into this conversation again because I think that a crucial first step is one that she suggests in her book\, Dare to Lead. We need to have a certain level of readiness before we engage in giving feedback. Being able to talk about the issue from our values and from our integrity is key here. Don’t rush into it. \nKeep the feedback focused on the actions or behavior and how it has affected you\, versus a flaw or weakness that you perceive the other person has. Then as far as receiving feedback goes\, Brené Brown has some good advice here also. One of those pieces of advice is to have a bit of helpful self-talk that you can use to help you in the moment. She likes to structure hers around a strength that she has\, so she’ll say something like\, “I’m brave enough to listen.” Courage is one of her values\, I should say\, not strength. It’s probably a strength of hers as well. \nMine is\, let’s find what I can yes and in what’s being said to me\, staying present and practicing reflecting back what you’re hearing. I think a lot of times our brains are going haywire when we’re getting feedback and they’re like\, “Run away\, run away\, run away.” Try to stay present. Avoid being defensive\, which can be really\, really hard. You want to defend yourself. Maybe you disagree with what’s being said to you. \nI advise you to just refrain from that and maybe at the end you can say\, “Hey\, I need a moment to think about this. I’m going to get back to you and let’s pick up the conversation another time.” That said\, you can also give yourself permission to take a break. I know that in not all situations do you feel like you have the power to do that. You can in a lot of situations acknowledge that\, “Wow\, you’ve given me a lot to think about. I could use a little bit of time here to just absorb it and get back to you. I would definitely like to pick up the conversation again to talk through it.” \nWithin the topic of giving and receiving feedback\, I think a lot of attention is placed on when we have some negative or constructive feedback that we need to deliver. I think it’s equally important for a person’s growth for us to learn to give and receive positive feedback. I used to have a really hard time with positive feedback and once in a while I still do. I’ve learned to just say thank you. Sometimes internally I’m like\, “Oh\, do I actually deserve that feedback?” \nI have a hard time like giving feedback. It’s not that it’s hard for me to say the words\, it’s that I’m not always noticing when I might need to say them\, or I’m not always noticing the things that I should be giving positive feedback for. It’s sometimes harder for us to notice the good things because we’re so wired to just notice when something isn’t going right. Nobody has time for anything else. We just wait till something goes wrong and then we’re like\, “Oh\, whose fault is it?” We can train ourselves to notice the good things. \nStrength spotting\, which we’ve talked about on this podcast before is one way that we can provide and practice positive feedback\, and sharing our gratitude for someone’s contributions is another way. Thinking about what are we grateful? Think about that person\, what am I grateful for about this person’s contributions and then go tell them. [laughs]\nBob: That’s really great advice. Thanks for that\, Jessica. I think when we think about giving or receiving feedback\, the picture that we get in our head is a supervisor-employee relationship or a manager-employee relationship. I’m wondering how giving and receiving feedback works in situations where there isn’t necessarily a hierarchy\, like in a team situation or a collaborative situation. \nJessica: Yes\, I really love this question because I think you’re right. The default that we think about is the supervisor-employee scenario where there’s a different power differential. I think in a situation like a team or collaborative effort\, feedback can be built into your group culture\, and it can be built into your supervisor-employee relationship as well. \nSince you asked about teams or collaborations\, I think there’s some specific things you can do like establishing group principles that are focused on open\, high trust relationship building\, and having some norms around how you bring new people into a group so that they can get accustomed to those group principles. I think even building feedback directly into regular processes like your meeting agendas\, you could leave space for regular kudos\, or you could leave space regularly to discuss what’s working well and what isn’t working as well. \nAgain\, I recommend keeping the feedback focused on processes and actions\, not on individuals and who’s pulling their weight more than others. Not that anyone speaks directly like that\, but the way we talk about and the way we give feedback and the way we talk about it\, it can damage relationships. The beauty here in the situation of a team or collaboration is that the group can decide together how you’ll work together and handle feedback and conflicts. You guys can also hold each other accountable for that. \nThe more you open conversation you have about things like how we’ll do feedback in this group\, the better your group will be. Frankly\, I think it’ll build the individual skills as well for people to go back to other situations in their lives and be able to give feedback and receive feedback better as well. \nBob: All right. You have some advice and a practice to walk us through\, and I’d love to hear more about how I can start doing this better\, honestly. \nJessica: I hope this helps. The practice I have today for giving constructive feedback is actually a readiness checklist from Brené Brown. Today is a Brené Brown day for our podcast. You can download it\, the checklist from the Dare to Lead website. We’ll put the link in the show notes for you. \nYou can use this checklist anytime before you’re going to give feedback. Each question’s a series of 10 questions. Each question is a simple yes\, no. Well\, simple is maybe going to be up to you to decide. For the purpose of this practicast\, I think it’d be really good as you’re listening right now to think about a situation for which you need to provide feedback to a person. If you’re not in a situation like that right now\, think about a situation from the past where you needed to give feedback. As I go through this list\, I want you to notice if you answered no to any of the questions. Ask yourself why and what you need in order to make that answer a yes. The first question\, I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you. I’m ready to give feedback when I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us. This is the difference between blaming someone and focusing on the fact that something needs to change instead. \nI know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to listen\, ask questions\, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue. I think that last part is really key; accept that I may not fully understand the issue. I think we really want to make our guesses and put people in boxes. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well instead of just picking apart your mistakes. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges. \nI know I’m ready to give feedback when I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m open to owning my part. I want to acknowledge that that’s another hard one\, I think. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can genuinely thank someone for efforts rather than just criticizing them for their failings. \nI know I’m ready to give feedback when I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you. These are all\, I think\, really helpful to slow yourself down to. \nIf we’re in a situation where we need to give some constructive feedback\, I think sometimes we’re ready to rush in and just point out all the things that we need changed. This will help slow down\, help you slow down just a little bit\, think through it and help you become better at giving feedback. I just wanted to point out one more time\, for learning to notice and share positive feedback\, I recommend strength spotting from our Listening for Strengths and Values episode\, season five\, episode two. \nBob: Yes. We’ll put a link to that in the show notes for this episode as well. Thanks so much for guiding us through that\, Jessica. \nJessica: You’re so welcome. This is a topic that I think is really hard for most of us. The more we can help people in this area\, I think the better all of our relationships will be. \nBob: That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. We hope you’ll give this practice a try\, and share your experience in the Practicing Connection LinkedIn group where people supporting military families practice the skills that empower us to work together so that we can positively impact our communities and help families thrive. You’ll find the link to the group on our website at oneop.org/practicingconnection. \nNext week\, we’ll be back with an in-depth episode. We’ll be discussing Share the Work and Love\, one of the eight ways of cultivating community resilience that we identified in our Connecting Communities in Asset-Based Community Recovery project. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp\, and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/improve-your-feedback-with-gratitude-and-vulnerability-2/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Trust-icon.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250703T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250703T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250703T104700Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165455Z
UID:10001605-1751522400-1751562000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:The Power of Care: Building Trust That Lasts
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzQwMjgxNyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTc0MDI4MTctdGhlLXBvd2VyLW9mLWNhcmUtYnVpbGRpbmctdHJ1c3QtdGhhdC1sYXN0cy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3NDAyODE3JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 27) \nWhat if the most powerful way to build trust was also the simplest: showing genuine care for others’ concerns and interests?  \nThis week\, we’ll share two easy practices you can use right away to make care the foundation of every relationship. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica explore the fourth distinction of trust – care – drawing on insights from Charles Feltman’s work and their own experiences. \nJessica shares why care is her favorite trust distinction and explains how it’s the foundation that gives meaning to competence\, reliability\, and sincerity. \nYou’ll learn two practical ways to put care into action: \n\nAsk\, Listen\, and Share\, a simple cycle for surfacing and honoring each other’s concerns and hopes\, and\nThe 10-Second Compassion Exercise\, a quick\, adaptable mindfulness practice you can use before\, during\, or after any interaction.\n\nWhether you want to strengthen your team\, connect more deeply with colleagues\, or simply create a more caring environment\, these practices will help you build trust that truly lasts. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host\, Jessica is here today as well. And we’re going to be talking about the fourth distinction of trust\, which is care. And Jessica will not only be sharing one practice with us today\, but two\, what a treat. Hi Jessica\, how are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m great. Yeah\, you get two for one today. I just couldn’t decide between the two. So I said\, “Oh\, forget it\, I’m just gonna do both of them.” So yeah\, it’s been a really fun week to work on this\, and actually it’s been just an interesting week overall. I’ve had one of those weeks where you’re over here working on this thing and then someone’s like\, “Oh\, but over here you have to get this done too.” \nAnd so then you switch over to that thing and you are working on that. And then someone over in another place is like\, “Hey\, but by the way\, don’t forget. You’ve gotta do this as well.” \nAnd through all of this\, there was this one little sort of oasis. [00:01:00] I heard something this week that has really been sticking with me. I was at a meeting where someone was describing all of the ways that they’ve worked to make their work and their organization sustainable financially from a capacity standpoint as well. And when they got around to talking about change\, the kind of change that we can’t control\, the change that we know we need to make\, but we’ve been dragging our feet on sometimes that’s letting a program go\, whatever that is for you\, they shared this really amazing nugget. \nAnd mind you\, this came at a time when I felt pulled in many directions\, so it was just this great little thing that stuck with me. And what they said was\, “Sometimes we need to decide to let go or be dragged along\,” and it’s really stuck with me. Later in the week actually\, I was talking with a friend who told me she had decided to back out of a project that she had co-founded\, after years of putting [00:02:00] her heart and time into it. In fact\, I was one of the co-founders along with her\, but I backed out years ago because of the way my role changed. \nAnd because of this nice little nugget\, the first thing I said to her was\, “Congratulations\, you decided to let go.” Right? And I think a lot of us have something that we’re holding onto\, like old routines or projects that we love\, but are now going through some significant changes. Or maybe even grudges. I mean\, none of us hold grudges here\, but – I hope! \nCORAL OWEN: Speak for yourself! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: No\, I certainly have been there as well\, but sometimes the hardest but the most freeing thing is to just let it go and stop letting it drag us along. \nI think the key is learning to notice when we are being dragged along. That’s the hard part. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. Oh\, I love that so much. And that really does resonate. One of the things that I’ve just had to practice a lot [00:03:00] throughout the years\, you know\, is wearing many\, many different hats. So I 100% understand what you were talking about\, is that finally that shift of sometimes you have to say no or just throw on the parking brake or step away from something or let go. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: But that perspective shift of realizing that sometimes you’re letting something go to create space for something new\, or more peace in your life or more balance\, it can be a really radical shift\, and sometimes it is very\, very freeing to have that shift in perspective\, \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know\, your amazing positive spin on this\, right\, so I’m using language\, you know\, “We need to let go or be dragged along.” That sounds very negative. Your positive spin on this though\, is making me realize that it’s hard to notice when we’re being dragged along\, but actually that might be the clue\, right? \nIf you think about a project or think about a situation\, do you feel like you’re being dragged [00:04:00] along rather than being fully part of it\, the way you’d like to be or the way you used to be? And if you feel like you’re being dragged along\, what can you let go of? Anyway. I appreciate your positive spin on that. \nCORAL OWEN: So we actually have three practices for you today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, right! That was a practice too. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh man. But yeah\, so I always love getting your perspective at the start of our conversations\, Jessica\, thank you so much. And we would also love to hear what’s inspiring you all are listeners\, so you know\, don’t ever hesitate to drop us a note that you can reach us at practicing connection@oneop.org. \nAnd we actually do see and respond to every message and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: So as we alluded to earlier\, we actually do have sort of a two-for-one episode for you all today. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about these two different practices you’ll be sharing today\, and also why did you choose them? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Of course. I’ve been so excited to talk about care. [00:05:00] Because you know\, as I’ve mentioned in previous episodes\, I’ve been using this work for quite a long time and teaching it in different workshops that I do\, and care is my favorite. \nI’ll take a moment here just to quickly recommend to our listeners that if they haven’t yet heard our interview with Charles and Ila\, to go check it out now. I mean yes\, you can pause and go and check it out first\, but it’s actually not a prerequisite for this episode or anything like that. But you’ll get a really great explanation of the care distinction of trust\, and I’ll share a little bit here as well. \nSo care is often regarded as possibly the most important of all of the distinctions. Sincerity\, competence\, reliability are the other three. I think all of the distinctions are important\, but I guess I would describe care almost as like the foundation. It’s what makes all of the other distinctions more meaningful. \nIt kind of [00:06:00] turns the actions of those distinctions into meaningful relationship building. That’s from my perspective. But given that this podcast is called Practicing Connection\, it probably makes sense that care is my favorite distinction. So care is about how much you believe the other people you’re working with. \nCare about your concerns and your interests\, and likewise\, it’s about how much others believe that you care about their concerns and their interests. Without care\, you can still deliver with competence\, you can still deliver reliably and you can still deliver with sincerity. \nBut the consequences of not developing the care distinction is that people may only extend their trust to you in certain circumstances\, or again\, you might only extend your trust to others in certain circumstances. Or worse\, if people don’t trust that you care about their concerns or interests [00:07:00] or that you don’t have the bigger picture team or organization’s goals at heart\, they might actually not even trust you at all\, regardless of how well you deliver across the other distinctions. \nSo I chose two practices today since care is so important. The first I’m calling\, “Ask\, Listen\, and Share\,” from The Thin Book of Trust\, and I chose it because it’s a really great way to efficiently get at the heart of what it means to show you care about the project\, about the team\, the individual\, or the organization. \nThe second is a ten second compassionate exercise that I adapted from the Center for Healthy Minds. I chose this because it’s so easy to practice and we can use it before interactions or meetings or after interactions or meetings\, or even during. Once you’ve practiced up a bit\, you can do that right when you’re sitting in the room with people. \nCORAL OWEN: These both sound like wonderful practices and I cannot wait to dig into the [00:08:00] first one. Could we start with the Ask\, Listen\, and Share ? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. So first you are going to want to choose somebody at your office to practice this activity on the next time you meet with them. Take a moment to just simply ask them what their interests and concerns are. \nSo make this topically related. So maybe it’s a project. Maybe it’s about the team\, the organization\, or some other topic that’s important and you know\, salient to the two of you. So you’re gonna ask them what their interests and concerns are\, and then I want you to just listen. Listen to what they’re sharing\, and when you have a moment point out where you both have some common interests. \nAnd then I want you to share your hopes and desires for the work overall. This is kind of the bigger picture\, hopes and desires\, and you can actually start the cycle again by then asking them to share [00:09:00] theirs. And again\, pointing out where there are some commonalities\, and then listen to them as well. So\, Ask\, Listen\, Share. \nI think it’s super simple. Let’s ask less about the tasks and more about interests\, concerns\, hopes and desires. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much because there’s such\, I’m just envisioning like this bridge that you’re building towards the other person as you’re hearing them and like inviting them to kind of build their bridge towards you. \nThat’s just what I envision that conversation to look like\, so that was wonderfully simple. This next one also sounds very straightforward\, but beautiful just as well. Could you share a little bit more about the ten second compassion exercise that you also chose? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Absolutely. For those of you who don’t know\, we actually write out our descriptions of the exercise\, so Coral’s able to preview everything. \nSo this ten second compassionate exercise\, there’s a couple of ways to do this. Just like [00:10:00] anything that we ever tell you to do\, you can decide to practice it in whatever way is most meaningful to you. It does help some people to start by running through this activity while imagining someone that they love and care about before moving on to someone else\, right? \nBecause then you’re able to think about what it feels like to say the phrases “I’m going to give you\,” towards someone that you love\, and so it kind of helps build that compassion muscle. I actually find it helpful to do this with and for anyone\, it kind of reminds me that we’re all human\, but it can be really helpful to start by thinking of someone that you already love\, to say these phrases for them before you move on to someone else. \nAll you need to do is think of the person you want to develop some compassion for or extend some compassion to\, and repeat a few phrases of compassion. I’m gonna give you a few phrases to get you started\, but you can personalize them for this situation if you like. I usually like to [00:11:00] use these just because it makes my practice easy to use\, because I’ve memorized the phrases. \nSo the three phrases I love best are\, “May you have happiness. May you be free from suffering. May you experience joy and ease.” \n“May you have happiness. May you be free from suffering. May you experience joy and ease.” \nI said that twice because it’s often helpful to repeat it more than once. You don’t have to say it out loud\, you can just think it. Whatever works for you. \nReally\, this is about you and what you need in your own compassion building practice. This was heavily adapted from the Center for Healthy Minds Compassion mindfulness meditation. We’re actually gonna be linking to the full exercise in the show notes if you’d like to go a little bit deeper with that. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. I love how simple and accessible both of these are\, and you can seriously [00:12:00] do them anywhere in a multitude of different situations. \nSo thank you so much for walking us through those\, Jessica. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF:This was absolutely my pleasure. \nCORAL OWEN: Alrighty. So thank you all again so much for joining us in this Practicast series\, talking about the wonderful distinctions. And we do again highly recommend\, if you hadn’t yet listened to our foundational conversation with Charles and Ila\, please go back to the beginning of June and you can find that for your reference. \nAnd so that is it for this episode. Thanks again for joining us and if you did enjoy this episode or find it of use\, we do invite you to click that share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or colleague. \nWe’re really excited to be back with you again next week with a new episode. And until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/the-power-of-care-building-trust-that-lasts/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/ferris-wheel-6587185_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250626T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250626T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250626T214204Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250711T214641Z
UID:10001604-1750917600-1750957200@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Clarify Your Capabilities: Building Trust Through Competence
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1NDQyMyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTczNTQ0MjMtY2xhcmlmeS15b3VyLWNhcGFiaWxpdGllcy1idWlsZGluZy10cnVzdC10aHJvdWdoLWNvbXBldGVuY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1NDQyMyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 26) \nDid you know that trust isn’t just about what you can do\, but also about how honest you are about your limits?  \nThis week\, we’ll share a simple practice to help you build trust through clarity\, confidence\, and communication. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral explore how competence\, one of the four key distinctions of trust\, lays the groundwork for strong\, reliable relationships. \nDrawing from Charles Feltman’s The Thin Book of Trust\, Coral introduces the “Clarify Your Current Capabilities” practice\, a quick but powerful reflection to help you honestly assess your strengths and limits before taking on a new task or commitment. \nYou’ll learn step-by-step how to name what you can do well\, where you might need support\, and how to communicate this with your team or supervisor. This practice not only helps you deliver on your promises\, but also normalizes asking for help as a sign of competence – not weakness. \nWhether you’re leading a project\, joining a new team\, or just want to strengthen your reliability\, this episode will help you build trust by showing up with clarity and confidence. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my co-host\, Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about building trust through competence. This is the third in our series of Practicasts about trust\, and Coral’s gonna be sharing a practice with us. Hi Coral. How are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, Jessica. I’m great\, thanks so much. We have just been kicking off summer break here in Florida\, and my 3-year-old son\, Kai\, he just finished up his first school year. So we’ve been spending some slower mornings together and having some local adventures we wouldn’t necessarily do on a more compressed weekend schedule. \nSo after today’s post office adventure was a bit of a flop on the three-year-old\, uh\, you know\, approval rating\, we’re gonna add like the lemonade train downtown\, and there’s also a bird hike at the preserve near our house that just opened that we haven’t stopped into yet. So yeah\, just doing some different fun micro adventures around Tampa Bay.[00:01:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I feel like you tried really hard to reframe the post office as an adventure. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh yeah. Oh yeah\, we brought Dinos and it was an adventure and we were gonna go talk about\, you know\, the postals. He was not impressed. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I really love the idea of a slow morning. I like\, you know\, kind of like the slow food movement. I don’t know if you remember that. \nCORAL OWEN:Oh\, for sure. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, we should really have a slow morning movement. Like\, I mean\, for me\, slow is the only way I move in the mornings anyway\, so I feel like it would be really easy for me. But if everyone\, if the entire society would embrace this idea of slow mornings\, and when I say slow mornings\, I’m not talking about having to wake up at 4:00 AM or 5:00 AM just so that you can have a slow morning. I’m talking like waking up when you need to wake up\, and being able to have a slow morning. \nI know that that’s a pipe dream\, but that’s where I’m at. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. Yeah\, I’m a really like ritualistic morning person. I mean [00:02:00] not\, you know\, the biohacks or anything\, but just\, you know\, enjoying some coffee\, playing with Dinos on the couch and just yeah\, enjoying leaning into just presence of life a little bit more in the morning. \nSo\, yeah\, I love the slow morning movement idea. Let’s get it started. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, I’m on it. Well\, we’d love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners\, so please drop us a line at Practicing connection@oneop.org. We see and respond to every message\, and we can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nLet’s learn more about building trust through competence. Coral\, can you tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So as Jessica already mentioned\, this is our third episode touching on the series of the four Domains of Trust outlined by Charles Feldman in The Thin Book of Trust. \nAnd today’s domain is competence\, and it’s defined in that [00:03:00] book as “The assessment that you have the ability to do what you are being trusted to do.” Competence is built when we’re clear about what we can do well right now. But also\, and I think perhaps this is a little bit more of a missed piece of this\, it’s also recognizing where our limits are and without judgment\, right? \nAnd so sometimes people lose trust\, not because they lack ability\, but because they also fail to recognize or communicate the limits to their competence. And so today\, the practice is simply called “Clarify your current capabilities\,” and it’s a simple\, powerful reflection that can help you show up in a way that supports trust in the competence domain. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I cannot wait to hear more about this. I think I would put myself in the camp of not always knowing what my limits are. Like my eyes are bigger than my stomach when it comes to projects. I think sometimes\, I mean\, I’ve done a lot of work to try to adapt that\, but I’m very excited about that. So let’s get started. Please walk [00:04:00] us through the practice. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And too\, I wanna say also\, you know\, this practice\, this is like funny\, but this practice takes practice. And it also takes an element of vulnerability to admit where you may not be as strong. And so I just want to preface this by saying if it feels uncomfortable\, that’s totally okay. \nAnd this is just perhaps a nudge to start progressively implementing some awareness and vulnerability in whatever spaces you may be showing up in. So this practice again is\, clarify your current capabilities\, and it can be done at the start of any project\, task\, or commitment\, whether it’s big or small\, and it only takes a few minutes. \nStep one\, there’s four steps\, name the commitment or the task. So what have you been asked to do or what are you planning to take on? And just define it\, write it down in a simple sentence. From there\, step two is\, you’re going to ask yourself two questions. The first one being\, “What parts of this am I fully confident that I can deliver [00:05:00] well?” \nAnd the second piece of that is\, “Where might I need support\, resources or extra time to ensure I can meet expectations?” And again\, being a little bit vulnerable here with yourself\, not being\, you know\, non-judgmental. Be very honest and specific. And again\, this goal is not to judge yourself. It’s simply a practice in having some clarity. \nSo step three\, make it visible. So if you know you’re working solo\, this is a little bit more straightforward. If you are working in a group or in a team or with other folks\, you know\, share this second piece with your team\, your supervisor\, anybody that you know has some role in facilitating these things. \nAnd you can say\, “Here’s what I feel strong in right now.” And then secondly\, “Here are some areas that I made need additional input\, help or support around.” \nOkay\, and then step four is simply adjusting as you go. [00:06:00] So competence is not static. You know\, we’re not static human beings. As we go\, hopefully we are learning along the way. \nAnd so as you gain skills or encounter challenges\, you can update your self-assessment and communicate any changes early. And also knowing that sometimes like the scope of a project may change. And so you may need to be proactive in communicating where you might feel a little bit over your head. Or if you have some skill sets that are relevant to an emerging area of work that you’re doing\, you can also kind of step up there and say\, “Hey\, I got this too.” \nSo yeah\, that’s it. That’s the four steps. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I love how this practice invites people to pause and name what’s actually true about their current abilities\, and it normalizes asking for support as part of being competent. I think where I recognize there being some vulnerability is that there are some things that I think sometimes we’re taught about [00:07:00] the way we prefer to work or what gives us energy in our work and what doesn’t. \nSometimes the things that don’t give us energy\, we’re almost a little embarrassed about\, like maybe what doesn’t give us energy is working in spreadsheets\, right? But the project we’re on requires that work. So we can also ask ourselves like\, “What support do I need to give myself? Because I know I’m gonna have to work in this spreadsheet\,” right? \nAnd\, “I know that I hate working in spreadsheets\, so what support can I give myself for that?” Or is it just\, sometimes it’s enough to be aware that you don’t like working in spreadsheets and that you’ve named it and it can help you get through that. So anyway\, that’s – I love\, I love this exercise. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. Yeah\, and that’s a great example too. And I think another key space or scenario that comes to mind is\, you know\, if you’ve been working in a particular field and these tasks are something that you touch on a regular basis\, and if you move into more of a leadership role\, you may feel just prepared to help direct people and guide people and [00:08:00] facilitate their work in that area of expertise. \nBut sometimes we need help to build things that are a little bit more kind of emergent\, like leadership skills or managing teams or workflows or things like that that you may not realize until you kind of get in those scenarios. And I speak from experience. I was a bank manager at one point and I kind of showed up and went\, “Oh no\, I need some guidance.” And approaching my direct supervisor at that time was a really key step in helping develop and cultivate those leadership skills. And also admitting to my team that I was working with\, I said\, you know\, “I’ve got some strong skill set here\, and I’m gonna need you to help give me some feedback and help me learn and grow as I grow into these other areas.” And they really appreciated that. \nAnd it also\, it just felt like I didn’t have anything to hide. And so being able to show up\, you know\, in that space more fully and authentically\, it just\, yeah\, you’re like\, not walking on [00:09:00] eggshells. You can just be yourself and it’s good stuff. It’s good stuff. So a lot of different areas that this can apply. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. \nUntil then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/clarify-your-capabilities-building-trust-through-competence/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Trust-icon.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250619T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250619T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250619T213605Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165316Z
UID:10001603-1750312800-1750352400@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reliability in Action: Why Clear Requests Matter
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1MzEwNSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTczNTMxMDUtcmVsaWFiaWxpdHktaW4tYWN0aW9uLXdoeS1jbGVhci1yZXF1ZXN0cy1tYXR0ZXIuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1MzEwNSUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 25) \nHave you ever felt let down by someone who didn’t follow through – or realized you misunderstood what was asked of you? \nThis episode reveals why reliability starts with clear requests\, and how a few mindful tweaks to your communication can build trust and prevent frustration. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica explore the crucial link between trust and reliability\, inspired by Charles Feltman’s The Thin Book of Trust. Jessica introduces the practice “Clear Requests are Kind Requests\,” highlighting how our assumptions and unclear communication can undermine reliability – even with the best intentions. \nYou’ll learn the difference between direct\, indirect\, and really indirect requests\, and why being clear is an act of kindness for everyone involved. Jessica shares practical steps for both noticing and making clearer requests\, including key questions to ask and simple phrases to use. \nWhether you’re a leader\, a team member\, or just tired of miscommunication\, this episode will help you strengthen trust by making reliability a shared\, achievable goal. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hi there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my cohost\, Jessica is here today as well. We’re going to be talking about trust and reliability\, and Jessica’s going to be sharing a practice with us today. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m doing pretty well. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about thinking lately\, which has been really interesting and really challenging. \nAlso\, I’m participating in a systems thinking group\, and it’s kind of funny\, but one of my recent realizations is that I always emphasized the systems part of systems thinking\, but the thinking part is absolutely crucial. It’s really funny\, but I’m almost embarrassed to admit that this super simple concept is one of my big realizations. But there it is. I’m an average student. [00:01:00]\nCORAL OWEN: No\, it’s so funny\, and I’m trying to think of\, you know\, a particular scenario\, but I’ve had similar realizations in the past\, and it’s sometimes those things just hit you square in the forehead and it\, you’re like\, “Oh my gosh\, how did I not realize that sooner?” \nBut yeah\, seriously. Sometimes the most simple realizations are the most profound and you’re going\, ha. But it\, you know\, it’s funny\, like when you have that brain\, that like seismic shift\, it can completely change how you interface and interact with a topic or you know\, a conversation that you’re having\, even if it’s just you’re like\, “Oh\, it was there all along. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, exactly. I mean\, for me it’s often been finally understanding song lyrics or something like that. Not usually something like this\, but maybe\, I bet I could come up with other examples if I really thought about it. Examples that are not song lyrics. I am very infamous in my household for getting song lyrics wrong because I just don’t care enough to know [00:02:00] all of the words and I just make up the words sometimes. So arguably more fun at family get together. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. All righty\, well\, today I’m really excited to dig into the second dimension of trust. And Jessica\, you’re gonna be leading us through a practice about trust and reliability. But before we dig into that\, could you share a little bit just about the practice in general and why you chose this practice specifically? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and I’ll just quick mention that if anyone’s\, you know\, listening to this episode kind of randomly\, I would recommend going back to our episode that we did a couple episodes back with Charles and Ina to listen to that. It’s a great primer into trust. \nSo yes\, the practice I chose for today is going to focus on reliability. And again\, it’s from Charles Feltman’s book\, the Thin Book of Trust\, and I’m calling it “Clear Requests are Kind Requests\,” because he didn’t have a name for it. And that title kind of borrows from Brene Brown’s often [00:03:00] used phrase\, “Clear is kind.” \nOur assessment of reliability is really interesting because it seems simple on the surface\, right? \nFrom our point of view\, someone committed to do something and they either did it or they did not follow through. Or maybe we committed to doing something and we either did or did not follow through. \nBut it actually isn’t that simple. So many times we are asking each other to kind of be mind readers\, which is why it’s really important to craft our requests as clearly as we are absolutely possibly able to. \nAnd as someone who might be receiving a request\, it’s important to be as clear as possible about what we’re being asked to do. Don’t agree to make a request or don’t make any offers about what someone is saying to you until the expectations have been clearly defined. People pleasers\, I’m talking to you! And I’m also speaking as one of [00:04:00] you. \nI have been so eager to help somebody before they’re describing something to me. I think I totally understand exactly what they’re asking and I’m like\, “I’ll do that. I’ll do the thing you’re asking\,” before I fully understand all of the details and the deadline and\, and all of that. \nSo like sometimes in the moment it can feel like we fully understand what needs to be done\, but your expectation of what you’re being asked to do might not match the expectations of the person making the request. \nSo we go about getting things done from our understanding of it alone. And we go about making requests from our understanding of the request without checking in that we’re all on the same page. So clear requests are kind because they align everyone involved. I go into more detail on this when I share the practice. \nBut in the Thin Book of Trust\, Charles Felman discusses three types of requests: direct requests\, which he says tend to work the best. These [00:05:00] requests use clear language and provide necessary details like who is this request for? \nSo basically\, who is making the request\, who’s the audience for the request? What actions are being requested? What constitutes satisfactory completion of the request? What are the deadlines and is there any context that needs to be provided in order to help the person get the job done? \nAnd then there are indirect requests. These requests are less clear\, but they get used often because the language feels a little less harsh to some people. \nI’m guilty of making indirect requests quite a bit. The requester might actually even use passive language\, like this task needs to be done. But they don’t say who should do it. They’re not asking you to do it. They’re not asking anyone to do it at all. They’re just saying this needs to be done and they’re hoping someone will make an offer. \nAnd then there are really indirect requests. These requests don’t sound like requests at all. [00:06:00] So something like this\, “The sink is always a mess.” Just sounds like statement\, right? So what’s the request behind that statement? “Clean up after your meetings\, clean up after yourself.” Would you please clean up after yourself\, however polite you wanna make it. \nSo those are like the three different types of requests\, and I think that the really indirect requests\, especially\, underline why clear requests are needed. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that\, and breaking it down into those three buckets is really helpful to understand perhaps what a better starting point would be. But I think maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. \nJessica\, would you like to walk us through your clear requests or kind requests practice and how we can go about really getting more clear? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. So clear requests\, or kind requests\, are a little difficult to say if you try to say it\, but it is [00:07:00] an activity that involves both mindful attention and direct practice. \nSo we’ll start with the mindful attention. Start by just noticing the types of requests people make of you or others in your office\, or frankly\, you can watch TV and notice the types of requests people are making of each other on a show that you watch. Label them in your mind as direct\, indirect\, or really indirect. \nThen reflect on how you could rephrase the request to make it more clear. Or you might reflect on what questions you might ask to draw out a more clear request. So remember\, you might be reflecting from the point of view of the person making the request of someone\, or you might be reflecting on this from the point of view of someone who has heard a request and is trying to fully understand it. \nSo the kinds of questions you might reflect on would be\, you know\, who is this request for? When is it due? What specific actions are being [00:08:00] requested? How will I know if I’ve satisfactorily completed the request? And is there any additional context that would be helpful? So\, the mindful attention is just labeling and reflecting. \nThe direct practice then is practicing making clear requests. If it helps\, you can write it out. To start\, just choose a few direct request starter phrases for you to use so that if you’re in the moment and you need to ask somebody something\, you’ve got a good starter phrase to start with. Like\, “Will you clean the sink\,” or “Will you please clean the sink?” \nMy favorite is actually\, “Are you willing to clean the sink?” But I think that might just barely fall into the indirect category. So it works for me\, but it may not work for everyone if you’re trying to be even more direct. \nCORAL OWEN: Simple\, straightforward\, to the point. I love it. Well\, thanks so much for guiding us through that Jessica. \nI appreciate it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF:Yeah\, you are welcome. \nCORAL OWEN: Alright\, well that’s [00:09:00] it for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode or found it useful\, please click the share button at the bottom of your podcast app to share it with a friend. You can also drop us a line for any questions that you have or thoughts and share those with us at Practicing connection@oneop.org. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode on the Competence Distinction of Trust\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reliability-in-action-why-clear-requests-matter/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/AdobeStock_643956197-1-scaled.jpeg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250612T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250612T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250612T102528Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165210Z
UID:10001602-1749708000-1749747600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Practicing Sincerity - Say What You Mean
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzI5MjU4MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcyOTI1ODItcHJhY3RpY2luZy1zaW5jZXJpdHktc2F5LXdoYXQteW91LW1lYW4uanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzI5MjU4MiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 24) \nEver left a conversation wishing you’d said what you really meant?  \nThis week\, we’ll show you a simple practice to help you notice – and close – the gap between your true thoughts and your spoken words\, so you can build trust through greater sincerity. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral dive into one of the four key distinctions of trust: sincerity. Inspired by their recent conversation with trust experts Charles Feltman and Ila Edgar\, Coral introduces a reflective practice called “What I Thought vs. What I Said.” \nThis simple\, powerful exercise helps you become more aware of the differences between your internal experience and your external communication. \nYou’ll learn step-by-step how to use this practice after any conversation to uncover where you might be holding back\, why that happens\, and how you can bring more of your authentic self to your next interaction. \nWhether you tend to avoid conflict\, people-please\, or just want to strengthen your relationships\, this episode offers practical guidance for building trust – one sincere conversation at a time. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about practicing sincerity\, and Coral’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hey Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, Jessica. I’m good. I’ve been really enjoying preparing for this month’s practical series based on our incredible conversation with Charles and Ila. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I was so inspired by that conversation\, and I was so thrilled that they were willing to have the conversation with us. I haven’t facilitated one of my trust workshops – you know\, one of the reasons I thought to reach out to Charles is that I have been teaching off of his material for quite a long time\, and I haven’t facilitated one of them for a while. So it’s been really fun to dig back into the content again. \nCORAL OWEN: I’ll bet and yeah\, you were the one who introduced this whole framework to me\, and so\, you know\, I’m just so thrilled to dig into [00:01:00] something newer to me and that fresh perspective on such fundamental practices. We’re gonna go into a little bit deeper dive in each of the practicasts this month. \nIt’s been really thought provoking and I’m just so glad that we get to share more with everyone over the next few weeks. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I think that a lot of times when I read books that are\, you know\, these books that are supposed to help us have better relationships at work or whatever\, they’re filled with great content. \nI have never found a book that’s as\, and I am not trying to push this book at all\, but I have never found a book that’s as actionable as this one. It’s really inspiring stuff. \nSo speaking of tangible practices\, let’s learn more about practicing sincerity and saying what you mean. \nCoral\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice that you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: Yes\, definitely. So just to recap\, sincerity is one of the four key distinctions of trust that we touched on in our conversation with Charles and Ila. And it’s how [00:02:00] closely our words match our true thoughts\, feelings\, and intentions. \nAnd the practice I’m sharing today is a simple check-in with a very simple name. We’ll just reference it as\, “What I thought versus what I said\,” and this can help raise our awareness of any gaps between what we’ve said and what we were actually thinking or feeling at that time. \nThis practice does come from The Thin Book of Trust\, and it helps us slow down and bring intention to what we say or have clarity around what was said\, and that way we can begin to align our communication with what’s true for us in a way that still respects the other person that we’re talking with. \nI like this practice because it helps us connect with our own trust tendencies as well. For instance\, if you tend to avoid conflict or lean into people pleasing\, perhaps being direct in your communication\, it might feel kind of challenging. However\, this practice can encourage us to take small steps and adjusting how we communicate and react in situations that may take us out of alignment and ultimately helps us shift how we show up in relationships for the better. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:03:00] Yeah\, I love that. I love that angle of thinking about how our own trust tendencies and you know\, that if we tend to avoid trust or lean into people pleasing\, like understanding what that is. And one thing that I’m often telling people too\, or hopefully I’m teaching them and not just telling them\, is that also knowing our tendencies for\, “Do we tend to trust first until it’s been broken\, or do we tend to make people earn our trust?” \nBecause if we do that and we don’t communicate about it\, and we don’t learn to communicate about that or learn to kind of be in touch with their own trust tendencies\, then it can be much harder down the road as we’re trying to build trust with people. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really\, really great point\, Jess. \n– break – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, well let’s get started. Please walk us through this practice\, Coral. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely\, will do. So [00:04:00] as we noted\, this is a reflective practice. So something you can do after a conversation or an interaction just to build your awareness around sincerity. And you can do it\, you know\, if you prefer to journal or kind of moving meditation\, walking\, reflection\, or just in your head\, it’s totally up to you. \nBut we’re gonna roll through four steps of how to think through and reflect through this process. So step one\, simply recall a conversation. Think about a conversation where you perhaps held back\, felt unclear or wishing\, walking away\, wishing you’d said something a little bit different. Choose a moment that ideally is a little bit more recent so that it’s still pretty fresh in your memory. \nAnd then step two\, we’re gonna ask ourselves two questions. So the first one is\, “What was I actually thinking or feeling at the time?” And then secondly\, “What did I actually say?” \nAnd if you’re someone that likes to write these things out\, you might divide this as two columns. The left side perhaps is what I thought or felt\, and then what I said and you know\, maybe just a [00:05:00] hypothetical example\, what you thought or felt might be\, this situation doesn’t really sit right with me\, but it may have come out of your mouth as\, “Yeah\, okay. That sounds good. I’ll go with the flow.” \nAnd clearly\, you know\, there’s a gap that we may become aware of. And that leads us into step three\, which is reflecting on any gaps. And so we can walk through a couple of reflection points. You know\, was there a difference between what you thought and what you said? \nAnd then let’s dig a little bit deeper. What’s perhaps stopping you from speaking more honestly in that scenario? Is it perhaps a fear of conflict or not being ready\, or not knowing how to respond. \nAnd then furthermore\, digging a little bit deeper\, what impact did that gap have on you? On the relationship? On the conversation\, perhaps the dynamic in the room. And then finally\, this is more of our [00:06:00] prospective look from there\, considering what you might try next time. So if there was a noticeable gap between what you said and what you were feeling or thinking at the time\, could you bring a little bit more truth into a similar situation going forward? \nThis is really one of the biggest things that hit home with me is what is one sentence. How could you have worded it differently\, that could feel more sincere and still be respectful? So practicing that language ahead of time and even visioning yourself\, going through a little head movie of replaying that conversation and then practicing in your head. \nOr you could even do this with a colleague or a friend\, practicing how you would respond going forward in the future. And that’s it. It’s very plain and simple. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’m just gonna call out an example that you actually wrote out in our notes that you didn’t use\, because when I think about a scenario like this\, sometimes it’s something like maybe there’s a [00:07:00] power differential that kept you from speaking more. \nHonestly\, and I love this example\, you put in the notes that next time you might say\, “I’m not sure I agree\, but I’d like to understand more before I respond.” You might even cut out the\, “I’m not sure I agree part\,” and just say\, “I’d like to understand more before I respond\,” right. So\, depending on the person and the relationship. \nSo I don’t mean to call out something you put in the notes that you decided not to say\, but I thought it was a really great example. \nCORAL OWEN: Thank you. And that’s actually one that I’ve practiced using in the past\, and it can be really helpful. But yeah\, this is such a great practice for just getting clear on where we’re starting from and then figuring out\, we don’t have to make big sweeping changes overnight or even in the span of a month or two. \nBut you know\, just figuring out how to turn that dial ever so slightly more in the direction that we’re hoping to step that will bring us closer into alignment is\, it’s a great place to start. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Awesome. Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If [00:08:00] you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend\, or drop us a line at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \nWe’ll be back next week with a practice for reliability. Until then\, keep practicing. \n  \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/practicing-sincerity-say-what-you-mean/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Teamwork_blog.jpg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250605T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250605T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250605T103747Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250722T202450Z
UID:10001601-1749103200-1749142800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Trust as a Practice: Lessons from the Experts\, with Charles Feltman and Ila Edgar
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Together\, they explore what it really means to build\, maintain\, and repair trust – at work\, at home\, and in our communities. \nCharles and Ila share the four domains of trust – Competence\, Sincerity\, Reliability\, and Care – and explain how these domains transform trust from a fuzzy concept into something you can intentionally practice every day. \nThrough real-world stories and practical advice\, they reveal why trust is never binary\, why conversations about trust matter\, and how high-trust environments unlock resilience\, collaboration\, and innovation. \nWhether you’re a leader\, a team member\, or simply someone who wants stronger relationships\, this episode will give you actionable tools and mindsets to help you become a masterful trust-builder. \nPlus\, discover personal practices for resilience and connection\, and learn how to start flexing your trust “muscle” today. \nLinks\n\n\n\nTrust on Purpose podcast\nIla Edgar\, Big Change Inc.\nCharles Feltman\, Insight Coaching\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral Owen. In this episode\, we’ll be talking about trust with our guest\, Ila Edgar of Big Change\, Inc.\, and Charles Felman of Insight Coaching. Their podcast\, Trust on Purpose\, helps individuals become intentional about building\, maintaining\, and repairing trust in all areas of life\, from the workplace to personal relationships. \nThrough insightful conversations and real world examples\, they explore what strengthens or damages trust\, offering practical tools to help listeners become masterful trust builders so that their relationships can truly flourish. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That is beautiful. I’m gonna start by just saying\, Coral\, that I am so excited for our guest today. \nFirst\, Charles Feltman serves people who seek to grow themselves into the best leaders they can be for themselves\, their teams\, and companies. And after over 25 years as an executive and leadership coach\, he has had the privilege of working with many outstanding leaders and [00:01:00] leadership teams worldwide. Charles is also the author of The Thin Book of Trust\, an Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work. \nNow in its third edition\, which is really one of my personal favorite resources\, I have three copies here that I have lent out to people. I have told people to buy the book. It’s really truly one of my personal favorite resources. He has a number of impressive sounding certifications related to his work\, but what is really important to him is that he is a certified husband\, father\, and grandfather. \nIla Ecker is the founder of Big Change Inc.\, where she helps leaders and teams build trust\, strengthen connections\, and do good work together. With over 25 years of experience\, Ila focuses on developing trust\, building skills\, while understanding the crucial role distrust plays in relationships. \nGuided by her values of generosity\, connection\, irreverence\, and learning\, Ila invites vulnerability\, courage\, and the human side of leadership into her [00:02:00] work. A sought after keynote speaker and experiential facilitator\, she specializes in designing behavior change and creating lasting results. And on top of all of that\, she’s a wife\, daughter\, sister\, aunt\, and great aunt\, as well as a friend\, colleague\, and proud mom to her son\, who has been one of her greatest teachers. Ila and Charles\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. Thanks so much for joining our conversation. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Thank you Jessica. That was a great introduction from both of you. Thank you very much. I feel like a better person than I thought I was when I started this. Looking forward to the conversation very much. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Me too. \nILA EDGAR: Thank you for having us. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Excellent. Well\, we’re gonna get right to the heart of what you guys are great at. And I wanna know what first inspired each of you to focus on trust and has your perspective on trust changed over time. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I think I first encountered the power of trust when I was an undergraduate at university and got roped [00:03:00] into getting trained and being a community mediator in the town and the community where I lived\, and learned very quickly that trust was absolutely essential for effective mediation. \nTwo or more parties that are very upset with each other and not communicating well and not trusting each other\, the first thing I would have to do is build trust with each of them in the sense that they needed to trust that I was not going to be partial to one party or another\, that I was gonna treat everyone the same. \nOnce that trust was built\, then I had the job of helping them build trust with each other. So that they could at least have enough trust to create an agreement that would last\, that they could all sign onto and and work with. So that was pretty early on. There were large gaps in my thinking about trust over the years after that. \nBut when I started being [00:04:00] a coach\, when I started serving my clients in a capacity as a coach\, that’s when I began to really hear again this need for trust. My clients came to me and they were saying\, you know\, “I don’t trust so and so\,” or\, “I don’t trust this\, or I don’t trust that person\, and it’s a real problem for me.” \nAnd so suddenly I was back in\, oh my gosh\, these people are struggling. They’re suffering because they don’t know how to build trust\, and maintain it or repair it when it’s broken. And I had learned a kind of a framework for doing that or helping people do that in the coach training program that I attended to become a certified coach. \nSo I started using that\, probably around 2000 or so\, started using it with my clients\, and it was pretty effective since then. Actually not long after I started using it\, I noticed that there was\, for me anyway\, a piece missing\, so I added to it. And then I also created a definition for [00:05:00] trust that seemed to be really valuable and useful for my clients. \nAnd perspective change. I don’t think I’ve had a perspective changed so much as I’ve broadened my perspective of how dynamic trust can be and trust building can be. And I’ve gone from\, you know\, what’s the value of having one-on-one trust with another person to\, being someone who can create an environment where other people or various people in that environment\, members of a team\, or people in even an organization as a whole can more easily trust each other. \nSo creating a kind of a culture in which trust is something that people pay attention to. So I’ll just stop there and let Ila jump in\, because I’m sure she has some\, well\, I know she has an interesting story here to tell as well\, \nILA EDGAR: I’m a little bit different\, and I say this with so much love and kindness to my younger self\, but I literally bumped around life naively not having a clue [00:06:00] or any intention or a purview about what trust was. \nI knew the word linguistically\, but I had no idea what it meant. I had no idea how to navigate it\, and in the home that I grew up in\, it certainly wasn’t anything that was ever taught\, spoke about\, modeled at all. And so\, yeah\, I think I just\, I bumped around in life and figured things out\, “Oh\, that works\, and that doesn’t work.” \nAnd then when I took my coach training\, which would’ve been 2010\, I was introduced to the model that Charles is referring to and that he’s now built on to. Within\, I don’t know\, like minutes of understanding this framework\, suddenly trust made so much sense to me. It was like the heavens opened\, the angels saying\, and it was like\, oh my gosh\, this makes so much sense now. \nAnd I could understand where not only my own relationship with trust was\, but it really helped me start to navigate this isn’t how everyone trusts. [00:07:00] And how do I wanna be more intentional about it? How do I wanna live this in my life in a way that’s practical skill-based\, right? That just made such a big difference for me. \nHuge. It’s Charles’s\, it’s Charles’s fault. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Well\, I’m actually envious of Ila and the angels singing and\, and as heavens opening up ’cause you know\, never quite had that experience. I certainly had the experience of bumbling around not understanding how to build trust. In my years in working in organizations in Silicon Valley\, I had made plenty of errors along those lines. \nSo\, yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know where the heavens open for me in this trust work\, and I’ve seen it\, maybe not the heavens open\, but I’ve seen massive realizations occur on people’s faces when I’ve done\, and I believe I got this exercise from your book Charles\, and that was asking people to think about somebody that they trust and describe them. \nRight? “Let’s throw out some adjectives. How would you describe this person [00:08:00] you really trust? And then think about somebody that you haven’t trusted and throw out some words there\,” which\, there were some pretty colorful words that come out\, right\, when people described that\, and then I mentioned to them\, “Well\, no wonder we don’t talk about this.” \nAnd their eyes just are like\, oh. I’m like\, okay\, we gotta learn how to talk about this with each other. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Yes. And actually that’s a huge piece of\, I know what both Ila and I do in our work is help people have conversations about trust that allow them to build it and strengthen it and repair it. And the framework that we use really goes a long way in aiding and abetting that\, \nCORAL OWEN: Hmm. \nThat is so\, so true that when you give folks a framework or language to talk about it\, it becomes more tangible and can make some of these really kind of nebulous things. It brings them closer into our view and to be able to hold that and [00:09:00] then work with it\, it’s a lot more malleable like clay. And so I love what y’all do in\, you know\, giving folks this language and this framework\, and I would love if we could just briefly name and define the domains of trust that y’all help folks dig into\, just so our audience could better understand what we’re gonna be talking about today. Ila\, could you kick us off and help with that? \nILA EDGAR: For sure\, for sure. So the four distinct domains are competency\, sincerity\, reliability\, and my personal favorite\, care. And the most important\, yes. And the most important. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: We should talk about what we mean by each of those four assessment domains. What are we talking about in each one of those? \nYou can get something from the word\, but I think there’s more to it than that. \nILA EDGAR: My description is a little\, uh\, rogue and a little – \nCHARLES FELTMAN: That’s fine. That’s great. That’s\, I love it. I love your [00:10:00] reverence. \nILA EDGAR: So competence is\, do you have the skills? Education\, knowledge\, resources\, experience to do the task you’ve been given or the task you’ve accepted. \nSo you can absolutely trust me to have a conversation about trust with you today. But don’t trust me to cut your hair\, pull your tooth\, fix a car\, fly a plane\, cook a rack of lamb and a whole boatload of other things I don’t know how to do. Why would you trust me? I love starting with that one in particular\, because in that first domain we see that trust isn’t an on or off. \nIt’s not that I either do trust you or I don’t trust you\, but we start to understand\, oh\, there’s different criteria\, different ways to assess trust. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Which I’ll just tag on and say\, in the domain of competence\, standards really are important because you can probably pick five\, well\, any\, all four of us actually\, and we could pick a particular competency or a skill and we’d each have a slightly different standard for what is competence in that [00:11:00] skill. So having a shared standard is where people begin to be able to talk about trust and create trust. \nILA EDGAR: Mm-hmm. Thank you for adding that. So sincerity\, the way I describe it is\, does your external dialogue match your internal dialogue? So is there congruence between what you’re thinking and what you’re saying? \nAnd what I typically point to right away is a criminal\, or a “dirty yes.” And we’re all guilty of it where we’re saying yes out loud\, but we’re already looking for an exit strategy that\, “How the heck do I get out of what I just said yes to?” \nAnd we think that we hide that. But honestly\, in the relationship and whoever we’re saying this dirty yes to is like\, they may not be able to point to it or corral as you’re saying. They may not have the language around it\, but they sense something’s adrift. Or we sense when individuals are like\, “Yeah\, sure\, I [00:12:00] get that for you.” \nSo there’s a felt sense\, which is where I connect into our vagus nerve\, right? All of that super juicy information that comes from our vagus nerve up to our brain and informs us. So I think that’s where sincerity is really important to pay attention to. And if we tie in the topic of psychological safety in organizations\, if all people are allowed to do is say\, “yes\,” you are a hundred percent getting criminal and dirty yeses because people don’t feel they have any other space to say anything but yes. \nAnd so how do we make space for people to have at least a conversation about. “I want to make a sincere commitment here\, and here’s why I’m hesitating.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Could I ask a question about this? I would imagine also then that someone who grew up in a certain environment where they also had to say “yes\,” like that probably tends to stick with people\, and it makes it harder [00:13:00] later\, even if they are in a work environment where it’s totally okay to say no. \nThey still feel like they’re not doing enough and they have to say yes all the time. So I can imagine\, I mean. I’ve been there. \nILA EDGAR: It’s um\, this is a really interesting exercise that I’ll do in in-person workshops\, is actually have two people stand and one person makes a request and the other person\, their only job is to say “no.” \nAnd the request is simple. It’s just\, “Could you get me a glass of water?” And the other person needs to say no. And it’s fascinating. Sometimes they can’t even get the word out. But you should see what their\, like\, their bodies are contorting because it’s so wildly uncomfortable to say this word. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I love that activity so much. \nI bring a lot of improv into my workshops and I feel like that’s a great activity to make people start to learn what it feels like to say no and for it to be safe to say no. \nILA EDGAR: Right\, and a low-risk [00:14:00] request\, right? Like we’re just seeing what happens here. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: So interestingly\, I coached a guy some years ago\, a leader\, but he had a great deal of difficulty saying no. \nAnd in fact\, for him\, the only way that he could get no out of his mouth was to really amp up the emotion of anger. So he had to be angry in order to say no. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Which obviously created problems for him. I mean\, I shouldn’t laugh. So he had to practice a lot saying no and not being angry or amping the anger down. \nBut yeah\, how we access no and can formulate it and say it has a whole lot to do with our history. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: As you were saying\, Jessica\, if you were brought up in the family where you pretty much\, it was dangerous to say no in some way or another\, you’re gonna have some kind of [00:15:00] somatic experience around saying no\, that’s challenging for you. \nAnd so I love that you notice that for yourself. \nCORAL OWEN: Ila\, could we move forward with what is the third domain of trust that y’all work in? \nILA EDGAR: Reliability. Oh\, so the way I describe this is\, how you keep your promises is just as important as how you break them. And I typically start work with groups asking for\, “A show of hands\, is everyone in the room or is everyone here a hundred percent human?” And that a hundred percent humanness is a reminder that we’re gonna mess up. \nWe’re\, “Did we make a mistake? I don’t know\, I just forgot to click send.” Or\, you know\, “That slipped my mind.” This normalizing our humanness\, that we’re not perfect and we’re not supposed to be. And so the interesting thing about reliability is the closer to the deadline\, we break the promise\, the bigger the trust impact. \nNow the further space we [00:16:00] have\, Charles may still be very disappointed\, frustrated\, and annoyed with me\, very normal human emotions\, and we have time and space to find a plan. B\, C\, D. \nNow it’s interesting and I love spending a bit of time in this domain in particular because most people that have some trickies around being reliable\, don’t realize the impact to trust. \nAnd so think of\, do we all have friends that you make plans and they jam at the last minute? You make plans again. They jam at the last minute. You make plans again. They jam at the last minute. How many times do you keep making plans until you just stop? But in the end\, that friend doesn’t likely know the impact of that low reliability in the relationship in the workplace. \nWe don’t have that ability to just stop making plans with them\, but we start to look for ways to work around them because we can’t [00:17:00] rely on their performance\, so we can’t rely on them to deliver. \nCORAL OWEN: There is just so much to unpack here\, and I’m actually getting very bummed that we don’t have more time. \nSo\, to round us out\, Ila\, this is\, as you noted\, your personal favorite. Why is care your favorite domain to work in and delve into? \nILA EDGAR: Well\, are you as committed to my success as I am to yours? We can work with people in organizations that are not gonna become our bf’s. Like we don’t completely love and adore them\, but we still have to work with them. \nAnd so even when there’s\, you know\, maybe personality or things that we don’t jive as smoothly as other relationships\, can we still find something that we care about together? Is there a shared care? Do we care about the outcome of this project? Do we care about\, you know\, looking good in front of this vp? \nIs there something that we can align on that’s a shared care? And I think especially for me\, it’s the constant reminder\, none of [00:18:00] us wake up in the morning and put our feet on the ground trying to be a jerk. None of us are like\, “How can I be mediocre today?” You know\, “How can I just\, you know\, bump along in life?” \nAll of us really are trying to just do the best we can every day. And so how can we have a little bit more care for each other\, maybe a little bit more love\, a little bit more compassion? And when we do that\, even if it’s just 1% more\, what’s possible? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That was like a wonderful explanation with the four distinctions. \nCharles\, I wonder if you had anything you wanted to add to it? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Not really\, yeah\, that was great. I think that was great. That was very clear and slightly different than my explanation or description of them\, but plenty good. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Excellent. I’m wondering if one or both of you would like to speak at all to the difference some people might have in how they write. \nIla mentioned that care is her favorite. Care is also my favorite. Do some people put more weight on one [00:19:00] distinction over another and what happens when there’s a mismatch between people who put more weight on one distinction? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I would say that yes\, there are people who have\, you know\, put more weight on one or another of the trust domains\, the assessment domains\, for example. \nOften\, not all the time\, but often I’ll work with groups of engineers. And if I ask them what domain is most important to them in building trust\, it’s competence\, hands down. Whereas I may work with\, you know\, a group of people who are reporting to a particular level of executive\, and one of the things that’s really important to them is that that executive or those executives at that level actually care. \nThey can trust that those executives care about them and that their leaders are being honest within which falls in the domain of sincerity. So it depends\, and it’s also dependent on the situation. [00:20:00] Again\, I’m gonna have a different concern with one individual sometimes than another. It really is dynamic in that respect. \nSo having conversations\, especially in a team\, but even just between two people in a work environment\, it’s great because people get to hear each other speak about what’s important to me under what circumstances and what’s maybe not so important to me under certain circumstances. So again\, going back to that need for value in having conversations about trust and having this framework and language that allows those conversations: incredibly valuable. \nCORAL OWEN: Taking that forward\, Ila\, I’d love to start with you for this one. Can you share an example of where applying a trust framework transformed a challenging situation or a relationship? And if anything\, what did you learn from this experience about the complexity of trust in the [00:21:00] process? \nILA EDGAR: Oh that’s a juicy one. That’s a juicy one. I’ll tell the story and condense it. It’s relatively recent\, but there’s an organization that I have worked with for a number of years in the States and focusing on building the competency and the executive team in trust building behaviors. And we took weeks and weeks and weeks and rolled up our sleeves and practiced and what does the language sound like? \nBecause often I\, and I think probably you would all agree that what stops us from saying a lot of different things is we don’t know how to start. Like\, I’m never gonna say to you\, “Coral\, I don’t trust you.” Those words would never come out of my mouth\, but I’m gonna feel it. \nOr I may say like\, “I trust you completely\, but I can’t validate why.” And so we’d spent a lot of time working with the executive team\, and then they took these skills and worked with their downline. We did a lot [00:22:00] of work over many\, many\, many months\, and we could see how the organization’s culture was starting to change. \nA lot of it comes down to rewarding people’s vulnerability\, and so they’re like\, “I don’t really know how to say this\, but there is something I wanna talk to you about\, and so just\, you know\, let me bump along into it.” Or\, “I have said something and it didn’t come out right\, so could I have a do-over? Because I wanna take care of our relationship.” \nAnd so really rewarding people when they were vulnerable in their actions around intentionally building trust\, meeting trust\, and then repairing trust. \nAnd then it all came crashing down with a senior leadership change and someone who decided that those behaviors were no longer important. It was far more important to push through a massive reorg and change and not take care of the people\, [00:23:00] not be reliable\, not be sincere\, not hold competence. It’s quite devastating now\, I look at the organization to see how much time and effort and care from these lovely humans put into building this beautifully strong\, connected\, caring\, trusting environment. \nAnd within three months because the leader\, new leader didn’t think it was valuable\, and it’s like a completely different organization. It’s\, “Where’s my heart? It’s lost this\, oh\, it’s lost this.” Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: For those of you who can’t see\, Ila held up\, “has lost heart.” \nILA EDGAR: Yeah\, it’s lost heart. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s a perfect segue\, Ila\, into something\, a question I have in my mind and that is\, and Charles\, I’d love to start with you on this one. How do you help people or organizations move beyond the idea that trust is either present or absent\, and instead see it as something as dynamic [00:24:00] and situational and something which deserves to be worked on. What kind of effect does that have? So how do you help them move beyond that idea? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I’ll address the first one first\, which is this idea of\, you know\, an on off switch. Either I trust you completely or I don’t trust you at all\, which as I was listening to somebody just\, or talking with someone just recently\, he said\, “Oh my God\, yeah\, I’ve been writing off all these people and there’s very few people left in the organization that I can trust because she was doing exactly that.” \nAnd that’s one of the things that the four assessment domains of trust can really help with\, because you can immediately begin to see that\, well\, Ila’s example at the very beginning: “You can trust me\, you know\, to show up and be on your podcast\, but you can’t trust me to always say something intelligent.” \nBut joking aside\, the four domains really help with that. I can trust someone in the domain [00:25:00] of reliability. They get their work done\, they’re reliable. I can trust them in the domain of competence. They’re competent. However\, I may have a concern about their trust in the domain of care. Do they actually have my interests and mind as well as their own. \nSo when we begin to talk about that\, using that language\, people can begin to see that they can trust someone in some ways and not others. And the benefit of that is in the workplace in particular\, you don’t have to just write somebody off completely because you don’t trust them in the domain of whatever\, you know\, one of those domains. \nThat their behavior is untrustworthy there\, but it can still be trustworthy. And so you can continue to work with them and set boundaries for yourself such that the behaviors that they have or actions they take in that other domain\, which you don’t trust so much\, are not gonna be potentially harmful for you. \nSo if\, [00:26:00] if that makes sense\, that’s what I would say to that question. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So what effect does that have once they\, once they kind of move from the idea of the binary of\, you know\, there’s trust or there isn’t trust\, and they start to see it as something dynamic and situational\, \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Oh yeah\, it’s huge for many people. Not everybody\, A lot of people already kind of get that and it’s just tipping them over the edge. But there’s a lot of people that really\, that changes their whole perspective on trust. \nThe person I was mentioning earlier\, the woman who had said to me\, “Oh\, you know\, I’ve gotten to the point where there’s only two or three people in this entire organization that I feel like I can trust.” And it was really hard for her. She was suffering in that situation and suddenly she saw a way clear to actually go back into the organization and build connections of trust in ways that worked for her and to be able to work with those people so that she could get stuff done and not [00:27:00] be hemmed into this tiny little square of trust with two or three other people. \nSo that was a huge\, you know\, it was a huge a-ha and a huge opening for her. And I find that happens often with people when they get it\, that it’s not just an on/off switch. \nCORAL OWEN: Charles\, that’s a wonderful segue actually into a question that I had in mind\, which was\, it seems like there’s this spectrum that organizations\, folks\, relationships can be on the places where trust is lacking as they move from a place where there’s that lack of trust\, or it is very non kind of binary. \nAs those relationships are foraged and strengthened and trust becomes more permeating in the relationships in an organization\, Ila or Charles\, what effects do you see? In an organization collectively or even individually\, the impacts [00:28:00] as trust is more pervasive and more of a cultural norm in the ways that folks work\, what are the benefits or the impacts from that? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I think for me\, the biggest benefit is that when we distrust\, we’re operating out of a neural network\, if you will\, a biology that is built to protect and defend. And so our bodies are on the defense all the time. And when we trust\, our bodies are open\, our minds are open together. We’re in that sense. \nSo if you can imagine a group of people who are closed\, protective\, defended\, and trying to work together to get something done doesn’t work very well. Flip that to even a little bit more trusting\, and our bodies or their bodies start to [00:29:00] relax. Their minds start to open up. They’re able to think better. \nThey’re able to expand their perspectives on things better\, differently. That for me is\, as I see that happen with individuals and teams that I’ve worked with\, it’s been huge for them and for their productivity\, for their creativity\, for their innovation. \nILA EDGAR: I feel like distrust gets a bad rap\, so we don’t wanna diminish or ignore it or make distrust wrong or bad. \nAnd Charles is pointing to\, it happens\, distrust happens in our amygdalas or our fight/flight/freeze. And our amygdala doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat. And so very easily\, in a work environment in particular\, someone might say a comment about\, you know\, “Oh\, Ila’s first draft of that proposal was garbage\,” and I’m gonna go\, “Hmm\,” because I feel like [00:30:00] my competency is threatened\, right? \nAnd so I wanna know that\, be aware of it\, and then go\, “Oh\, but it’s Charles. Charles would never be a jerk to me.” Like\, it’s okay\, system exhale\, but it’s also important because sometimes there is a threat and it is a real threat\, and so we wanna pay attention to that. \nAnd so I think there’s this juicy little nanosecond of self-awareness where we have the opportunity to go\, hang on\, is this something I need to pay attention to? Or is it my body’s system thinking that there’s a grizzly bear coming after me when actually it’s\, you know\, Bob from accounting and it’s okay. \nSo I don’t wanna give distrust a bad rap. I wanna highlight that it’s important to pay attention to and build awareness around. And again\, so we can point to what’s actually happening and is there something here I need to take care of? Or can I help my nervous system reregulate and go\, “Hey\, thanks for alerting me\, but I got this. We’re okay.” [00:31:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Thank you so much for that insight. I feel like I’ve learned ten new things and I\, like I said\, I’ve already\, you know\, I’ve been teaching off of your trust materials\, Charles\, for quite a while\, and I feel like today during this conversation I’ve learned a whole bunch of new things that I am very excited to dig into a little bit more. \nWe love to end our podcast with one quick question of\, do you have a personal practice that you could use to help build your own resilience and connection? And Ila\, I’d love to start with you on this one and then Charles after\, \nILA EDGAR: This is gonna sound really weird\, um: I pay attention to my feet. And so when I get caught in my head or I’m swirling in something\, I literally lose connection with my feet\, and then I know I’m no longer grounded. \nAnd so for me\, being able to come back into my body and the present moment happens through my feet\, so I’m [00:32:00] often barefoot even when it’s -30C\, I wanna feel texture and connection because it’s like\, oh yeah\, you’re off there somewhere\, or you’re spinning about something that is taking you away from connection or causing disconnection or withdrawal or a barrier. \nSo for me\, coming back to present and being in my body is a really important practice for me. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thank you. And not weird. It is the first time we’ve had one on feet though. Charles\, how about you? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Uh my feet\, I can’t be in barefoot in the snow. It just doesn’t work for me. But a similar practice in the sense that I observe my breathing and practice observing my breathing\, even when I’m not necessarily in a challenging situation\, but it allows me to kind of gauge where I am in a situation. \nAm I breathing high and shallow? That means for me that my amygdala has potentially been engaged. And in that [00:33:00] moment\, can I like\, you know\, we talked about a little bit ago\, can I stop and go\, “Wait a minute\, what’s really going on here? Is there a real threat or is there something I really need to pay attention to? And even if it is something I really need to pay attention to\, wouldn’t it be better to do so?” \nFrom a place of center and groundedness than from\, you know\, flying off into who knows where. So intentionally bringing my breath back down into my belly\, which actually changes my physiology and my brain state. \nSo that’s for me\, my practice and how I manage that. \nCORAL OWEN: Those are two wonderful touch points\, and what I love most about both of them is that they are so\, so simple. So thank you for wrapping that up with us on such a lovely note. And that’s a wrap for today’s conversation. I just wanted to thank you both so much again for your time\, for the very valuable work that you’re doing\, and we just really [00:34:00] appreciate it. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Thank you. It’s been a great conversation. I’ve really appreciated it. \nILA EDGAR: Mm-hmm. Me too. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Your questions were good ones. \nILA EDGAR: Great conversation. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: And it’s been really funny Ila doing this with you and kind of trading off answers and hearing what you have to say to these questions. It’s great! We’ve never done this before. \nILA EDGAR: You’re like\, “Oh gosh! She’s way too far off script. I’ve gotta get her back online.” \nCHARLES FELTMAN: No\, not at all. So yes\, no Ila and I have never been guests together on someone’s podcast. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, what a pleasure it is to host both of you for your first ever together podcast episode. If y’all are enjoying this beautiful conversation between Charles and Ila\, you can find more of their conversations together: please check out the Trust on Purpose Podcast to learn more about their wonderful work and all of the great conversations that they’re having in this space. \nSo thanks again. Until next time\, keep practicing. [00:35:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/trust-as-a-practice-with-charles-feltman-and-ila-edgar/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Trust-icon.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250529T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250529T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250529T105630Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251105T195440Z
UID:10001600-1748498400-1748538000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Plan with Purpose: The POP Framework for Effective Meetings
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” src=”“https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/episodes/17215762-plan-with-purpose-the-pop-framework-for-effective-meetings.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-17215762&player=small“” type=”“text/javascript“” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzIxNTc2MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcyMTU3NjItcGxhbi13aXRoLXB1cnBvc2UtdGhlLXBvcC1mcmFtZXdvcmstZm9yLWVmZmVjdGl2ZS1tZWV0aW5ncy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3MjE1NzYyJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][image_with_animation image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 22) \nWhat if every meeting you planned had a clear purpose\, a focused outcome\, and left everyone energized instead of drained? Today\, we’ll show you a simple framework to make every gathering count. \nTired of meetings that go nowhere? \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica reveal how the POP (Purpose\, Outcome\, Process-plus People and Preparation) framework can transform your meetings from time-wasters into powerful\, purposeful gatherings. \nJessica walks you through each step of the POPPP approach\, shares real-world examples\, and explains why starting with purpose changes everything. \nWhether you’re planning a team meeting\, a project kickoff\, or just your next agenda item\, this episode will help you design meetings that matter. \nPlus\, get a downloadable resource to put the POPPP framework into action right away[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host Jessica is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about planning our meetings with purpose\, and Jessica’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Jess\, how are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m doing pretty great. I’ve actually been spending today\, specifically\, I’ve been spending a fair amount of time just spring cleaning my files. \nI started doing it yesterday and then today I couldn’t get it off my mind\, so I went right back to it. This rarely happens because I don’t really enjoy moving files around and organizing them\, so it’s really been a big job\, but I’ve been finding files that I thought I no longer had access to. Turns out that I tend to make copies of files that I think I’m going to lose access to so that I’ll have future access to them. \nSo it’s actually been [00:01:00] really helpful to some of my current projects\, to be able to go back and look at something that I wrote a long time ago and incorporate some of that thinking into my current work. So even though the task is kind of mind numbing to me\, I’ve actually been able to find some nice surprises in the middle of it that. \nCORAL OWEN: So relatable. It’s so funny\, I was actually just talking with a friend this morning about organizing our homes and offices and other spaces\, and kind of the angle that we’re getting down the wormhole about is just. Laughing at how much activation energy it feels like it requires to move\, yes\, the needle on some of these things\, but also it brings so much energy\, like in the form that you’re just saying\, of finding inspiration from things that you’ve done in the past. \nBut I also find that too\, once I’ve kind of moved through that\, you know\, purging and reorganizing and sort of putting things in their proper place\, it brings me so much energy once it’s sorted. ‘Cause that like subconscious mental load I always personally seem to carry\, it seems to like dissipate and [00:02:00] free up some brain space after it’s all done. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Absolutely. I really appreciate the work that’s been put into making searches like in our file systems\, making search really useful\, and it still stresses me out to have everything\, you know\, it’s like a baseline way in the background stress\, but to know that I don’t actually know where everything is because. \nIt’s just this like dump of files in one spot\, and so I do feel more every time I’m deleting a file or moving a file\, I just feel a little bit lighter. \nCORAL OWEN: I am feeling inspired to go do this to my workspace on my desk now when we get finished recording\, oh man. \nWell\, we would love to hear what you all are learning\, what’s inspiring you\, and if you’d care to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click send us a message at the top of the description of this episode. \nAnd when you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number in the words “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on the computer\, you can instead email [00:02:00] us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. So we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you at this time. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All right\, let’s learn about planning our meetings with purpose. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing\, and also why did you choose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. I give this a very exciting and complex name: Purpose\,Process\, and Outcome. Probably as far from exciting and complex as you can get. \nThe name though is kind of deceiving because there’s another P: People. And sometimes preparation. So it’s kind of like our vowels\, AEIOU and sometimes Y. \nSo instead\, this is PPPO\, and sometimes P. So I’ve actually seen this called the POP framework\, so “be POP” or even the [00:04:00] P-O-P-P-P framework. Honestly\, I just use whichever P’s are relevant to what I’m applying it to. \nBut purpose is always relevant and it always comes first. So I actually have been using this practice regularly\, I think since about 2020. In fact\, I actually use it to plan entire programs\, meetings\, or I should say when it comes to programs. I use it to plan the framework of the program. I don’t use it to plan every single detail\, but meetings\, and then I even use it to plan individual meeting agenda items. \nI’ve been using it for years\, but I never really learned its origins. Someone just told me about it and I started using it and I’m like\, “Oh\, this is really powerful.” Like\, I’m gonna keep using this. So in preparation for this chat\, I did a little digging to find out where it came from. It was developed by Leslie Shoul Jaffe and Randall Alford\, and I’m really hoping I’m saying their names correct\, and it’s been iterated on for at [00:05:00] least over a decade. \nI found other similar versions as far back as the late 1980s\, but the main reason I wanted to share this practice is that it’s incredibly simple and powerful for ensuring the design of a project meeting\, and even individual agenda items are focused and set up to accomplish what you hoped they would. \nCORAL OWEN: This is really exciting and I don’t say that ironically\, like truly. I think this is gonna be a very impactful practice\, even though it sounds very straightforward and simplistic. But before we get into the practice\, Jessica\, can you briefly describe what each of the Ps are\, and the O as well? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. \nWell\, of course starting with purpose\, which is where I always start. Like I mentioned a little bit ago\, our work should always begin with purpose. Projects need purpose. Meetings need purpose. Agenda items need purpose\, emails and communications need purpose as well. \nSo taking a moment to pause and ask yourself [00:06:00] why you’re doing this project. Why you’re planning that meeting or adding that agenda item or why you’re writing an email is a huge step toward injecting both meaning and focus into your work. And then once you’re clear on the purpose\, and I think it’s really important to mention\, you need to be clear on that purpose\, then identify your outcomes. \nThe funny thing is that I’ve always outlined this as the third step\, so I call this Purpose Process Outcomes\, but in most models I find it as the second step\, which does make a lot of sense. So that’s how I’m gonna present it today. \nSo\, outcomes are the specific changes or actions you’re hoping to achieve when you’re clear on your purpose. Identify your outcomes as clearly as you can\, so it sets you up for designing the next step\, which is process. Process is about how you’ll go about meeting the outcomes and ultimately the purpose. What are the steps you’ll take? How are you gonna [00:07:00] design the conversation for that agenda item? How are you gonna design the meeting overall? \nHow will you design the project and how will you compose that email? That’s what process answers\, how the people part of the session is all about. Who needs to be in the room? Is it your entire team\, or is it only a few members of the team? Which perspectives are most critical to understand in order to meet the objectives and purpose? \nSome models put this step above Process. I often just incorporate it into my process rather than treat it separately. It just depends on how you wanna approach it. And then the last one is preparation. This was actually a new one to me. I had seen people added into this before\, but preparation was a new one. \nBut I think that depending on your situation\, it might be an important one to include and kind of like the people step. I usually incorporate this into my process versus treating it separately\, but [00:08:00] you might need to treat it separately. \nCORAL OWEN: I love how you can sort of plug and play these different pieces\, yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nCORAL OWEN: Based on the situation you find yourself in. So\, as far as actually going about utilizing this lovely acronym\, Jess\, can you guide us through on how to implement this and\, and how you would go about leveraging it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. I’m gonna actually use the example of a planning for a meeting\, but like I mentioned\, you know\, this can be used to plan individual communications and agenda items. Or to outline entire projects. \nI would recommend starting this practice with meetings. Just start planning all of your meetings using it. We’ll include a downloadable resource that you can use in the show notes as well. \nSo again\, of course\, we’re gonna start with purpose. First\, I identify the purpose of your meeting and consider including it on your meeting agenda. There is no better way to solidify a practice than making it transparent. To [00:09:00] identify the purpose of the meeting\, you might ask yourself\, what is the reason for gathering? What is the purpose of the conversation? You might have multiple purposes that’s completely acceptable. For example\, you might have “building trust” among the team\, along with the purpose of gaining consensus on the direction of a project. Just make sure you’re clear about the purpose or the purposes. \nSo next\, you’re gonna consider your purpose or purposes\, and you’re gonna ask yourself\, “By the end of this meeting\, I hope to have accomplished…\,” and then you’re gonna fill in that blank. If you have multiple purposes\, make sure to answer this question for each purpose. \nSo\, for example\, if one of your purposes was to gain consensus on the direction of a project\, your outcomes might include things like\, “Everyone understands the project purpose and possible directions. Everyone agrees on the direction for moving forward.” And\, “Everyone understands their role and responsibilities on the project.”[00:10:00]\nAlright\, let’s move on to Process. Once you’ve clearly identified your outcomes\, you can plan the appropriate process to match. So using our example\, if you need everyone to understand the project purpose\, to agree on the direction for moving forward and to understand their role\, then you might outline a process that includes things like\, “Starting your meeting with a presentation that outlines the details of the project and the different directions under consideration\,” and then\, “Designing a follow-up conversation to check in to make sure everyone understood those details.” \nThen you might plan an activity to obtain input on the different directions and a conversation or other activity to obtain consensus or prioritization\, you know\, nominal group voting or other ways of having that conversation. \nAnd then once a direction is chosen for the project\, then you might design a conversation where you all\, the entire team\, outlines the next steps to have everyone [00:11:00] volunteer for the task that best fits their role on the team. So this example\, I always like to say that whenever we give a practice\, we’re kind of giving you that exploded diagram\, you know\, like they do for like the Ikea\, putting together IKEA furniture\, whatever. You’ve got that exploded diagram that shows you all the pieces and parts\, and so we go through it step by step and it feels a lot more complex. But I gotta tell you\, I have gone through a Purpose Process Outcome\, or Purpose\, Outcome Process activity in as little as a few minutes depending on what I’m working on. \nSo we are giving you all the details\, but I would consider this a really quick two minute activity in a lot of instances. And then make sure as you’re going along\, make sure that you consider who needs to be at the meeting and what kinds of preparation might be needed as you consider your process. Or again\, like I said before\, you can separate out people and identify that separately from the preparation\, and you can [00:12:00] identify the preparation separately from everything as well. \nSo it’s a really simple process\, just what’s your purpose? What outcomes do you hope for? What process are you going to use to try to reach those outcomes? Who needs to be involved? What kinds of preparation might you need? \nCORAL OWEN: Again\, I just love how much you can dial in or switch around whatever pieces you need to suit the goals and situations you’re in. \nSo thanks so much\, Jessica\, for walking us through that. That was really\, really interesting and I can’t wait to try and implement this in my own work. \nAlright. Well that is it for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button to your podcast app and share it with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/plan-with-purpse/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250522
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250523
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250522T100027Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T170105Z
UID:10001599-1747872000-1747958399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Planning for Possibilities: A Perspective-Shifting Practice
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzE4ODUwMSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcxODg1MDEtcGxhbm5pbmctZm9yLXBvc3NpYmlsaXRpZXMtYS1wZXJzcGVjdGl2ZS1zaGlmdGluZy1wcmFjdGljZS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3MTg4NTAxJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 21) \nWhat if you could quiet the ‘what-ifs’ and help your team face tough decisions with clarity and confidence?  \nToday\, we’re sharing a simple scenario planning practice that brings perspective to uncertainty-so you can plan for whatever comes next. \nCoral and Jessica introduce a practical scenario planning tool: Best\, Worst\, Most Likely Case. Learn how this perspective-shifting practice\, rooted in positive psychology\, can help you and your group break out of catastrophizing\, validate hopes and fears\, and make grounded plans for the future. \nJessica walks you through the steps\, shares tips for brainstorming\, and explains how focusing on what’s most likely can unify your team and boost decision-making. \nWhether you’re facing a big decision or just want to build resilience\, this episode will help you put uncertainty in perspective. \nResources to help you run a group brainstorm: \n“Brainwriting” \n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey everyone\, Coral here. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. My co-host\, Jessica\, is here today as well\, and today we’re going to be talking about scenario planning\, and Jessica’s gonna share a practice with us. Jessica\, how are you today?  \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral\, I’m doing well. I have my dog by my side and a comfortable chair. I’m pretty content right now. I just got one of those chairs where you can sit cross-legged on them\, and that’s pretty comfortable.  \nIt’s also been like a season of learning for me\, like the last month\, I don’t know\, the weather gets good\, for some reason in the spring I like to find classes to take online\, and then of course I often don’t finish them because I get busy in the summer. \nBut lately I’ve been digging into a full stack web development course just for fun. Yeah. We’ll see what comes next. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I’ve been actually doing a little bit of just reading for fun [00:01:00] recently\, finding a little bit more space just to unplug actually from the learning\, constant learning\, and a little bit more just\, you know\, book consumption just for the sheer pleasure of literature\, so that’s great.  \nYeah\, it’s been a few years since I’ve had just the brain bandwidth\, actually the space in life to do that. So it’s so nice just to relax with a good book in the afternoon for a few minutes and a few pages and just let my brain decompress. So it’s good stuff.  \nWe would love to hear what you all are learning\, what’s inspiring you\, and if you’d care to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click send us a message at the top of the description of this episode. \nAnd when you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number in the words “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on the computer\, you can instead email [00:02:00] us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. So we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you at this time. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All right\, so today we are going to be learning about scenario planning and kind of a perspective shifting practice. Jessica\, can you tell us a bit more about this practice that you’ll be sharing today\, and also why you chose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I really love this practice. I have used it a whole bunch of times\, both individually on my own to think through a process\, which I’ll explain in a second\, and then also with groups.  \nIt’s actually called\, I guess officially\, put it into perspective\, though when I’ve used it in scenario planning with groups\, I’ve just simply called it\, “best\, worst\, and most likely case.” I can’t actually recall the first time I learned of this practice\, ’cause I’ve been using it for a long time. \nBut I’m almost [00:03:00] positive I learned about this practice from some of my readings on character strengths. And if that’s the case\, it makes sense because when I dug in to try to remember where I got this practice from. Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center has been credited with this activity as it relates to the context of applying it to our personal wellbeing and reducing catastrophizing. \nAnd that’s actually a really great use of this activity\, and I’ve used it myself for this. When we start to spiral and catastrophize\, you can apply this by simply identifying the worst that could possibly happen\, and then imagining the best case scenario\, and then finally identifying what the most likely scenario might be\, what might actually occur. \nThen start planning for the most likely scenario\, because there’s a little bonus practice\, ’cause that’s not the full practice there. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh my gosh. I just relate to that so\, so much and know so many people that have a tendency to slide into that [00:04:00] “what ifs” spiral that you mentioned. I can’t wait to hear more about this because yeah\, just having like a parking break. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: That you can pull – yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I think it’s really easy to immediately assume that the worst is gonna happen.  \nCORAL OWEN: Right\, totally.  \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, so this practice\, the one that I’m gonna be sharing with you is the one that I’ve used with groups. It works really well for groups and teams for scenario planning\, which is just really how I’ve used it most often. \nI really like to use it when there is a potentially contentious decision or a difficult issue to address. What I’ve experienced is that in meetings\, this can have a unifying effect among the people that are in that meeting\, spending the time identifying that worst case scenario. That’s really about identifying fears surrounding the big decision or the difficult issue\, and that ends up validating how everyone is feeling about the situation. \nThen when you go [00:05:00] on to identify the best case scenario that affirms and aligns the group’s hopes about the situation. And then finally\, when you outline what’s most likely to happen\, given the information we have today\, the known knowns. That has a calming and unifying effect on the group\, and usually leaves them in a much better position to make a decision if a decision needs to be made. \nAt the very least\, it helps everyone face fears and make plans to mitigate possible pain points. I always recommend that you focus on planning for the most likely scenario\, but it doesn’t hurt to also ask which of the things that contribute to that worst case scenario is the next most likely to happen\, and then create a scenario plan for that as well. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds like a very thorough approach\, but also very effective\, awesome. Well\, thanks so much for introducing that practice\, Jessica. Can [00:06:00] you help us learn how to get started? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’ll go through it step by step. One thing I’ll add before I share the steps is that depending on your team\, you may wanna use different brainstorming methods. \nBecause essentially as you go through each of the steps\, they’re massive brainstorming activities. And you know\, try to use a method that would resonate with your team versus the one you prefer. So for example\, I love a verbal popcorn style brainstorm out loud. Everyone’s saying their thoughts out loud. But a lot of people would prefer more of a think\, pair\, and share kind of process where you write down your ideas quietly on your own\, and then you might pair up with one other person and share\, and then maybe the two of you then share with the whole group. \nDon’t overthink it though. You can simply have a conversation with your team at a meeting as well. I’ll include a few links to other ways of running a brainstorm in the show notes\, just in case a new approach is just what you need.  \nNow let’s get to the steps of how to do this [00:07:00] practice. First\, start the conversation with what could or might go wrong. So you’re gonna work with your team to brainstorm and articulate everything that could go wrong. Use this brainstorm list then to articulate a worst case scenario. You may end up with more than one worst case scenario\, depending on the variables for your situation.  \nThen you’re gonna move on to what would it look like if everything goes right? \nHave your team define all of the hopes and possible moving pieces and parts that could go right. Use this brainstorm list to articulate a best case scenario. Or two\, depending on your variables.  \nAnd then finally\, you’re gonna brainstorm what might be the most likely scenario. Again\, you might end up with more than one\, most likely scenario\, depending on your situation. \nBut you’re gonna then use this list to begin to develop a plan for how you might address the most likely scenario. And then\, like I said before\, you [00:08:00] might want to take a look at the worst case scenario that you developed to see if it’s enough of a concern that you need to come up with any backup plans. \nAnd I would urge you and your team to always consider what’s in your control. So what can you and your team do right now\, and what’s within your ability to influence? Those are the two areas that you can actually take action in. Try not to catastrophize and think well\, “There’s this big\, looming shoe that’s going to drop\,” though you can’t control that shoe and whether the shoe drops or not. \nSo focus on what’s in your control and what’s within your ability to influence when you’re looking at planning for the most likely scenario.  \nCORAL OWEN: That’s wonderful advice. Thank you Jessica so much for sharing those steps with us today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You’re very welcome. I have been there many times. Scenario planning is something that I’ve had to do quite a lot. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, I’m sure that that’s been such a big help for some of the teams that you’ve worked with\, and [00:09:00] hopefully it’ll help some teams that are listening in today.  \nWell\, that is it for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today’s episode\, you can click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new practice\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/planning-for-possiibilities-a-perspective-shifting-practice/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/hand-g39adaedfe_1920.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250515
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250516
DTSTAMP:20260502T095308
CREATED:20250515T210617Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250909T174930Z
UID:10001592-1747267200-1747353599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Navigate Transitions with Both/And Thinking
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. 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Discover how both/and thinking can help you lead with flexibility and compassion. Join us as Coral guides us through a transformative practice that can bring more connection and possibility into your daily life. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, hosts Jessica and Coral explore the concept of both/and thinking—a mindset that allows for multiple truths to coexist. Coral shares a practical exercise to help listeners move beyond binary thinking\, especially during times of tension or uncertainty. Learn how to embrace complexity\, foster connection\, and find a better path forward with both/and thinking. Plus\, we invite you to share what’s inspiring you right now! \nLinks\n\n\n\nJoin our Private LinkedIn group\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’ll be exploring a mindset that can help you lead and navigate transitions with more flexibility and compassion\, “both/thinking\,” and Coral will be guiding us through a practice to help bring this to your day-to-day life. \nHi Coral. \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica\, I’m so looking forward to sharing today’s practice. How are things with you this week? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Pretty good. I’m still super energized from the Virtual Systems Thinking conference I attended last week. It was just really nice to listen in and learn new ways of thinking about how I approach my work. I’m usually the one creating the content\, it seems lately in my role. So it was kind of nice just to be a listener and to just let my mind expand. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds like such a nice change of pace\, and such an interesting topic to delve into. [00:01:00] It’s been pretty low key here in Florida. A lot of summertime vibes\, mercury’s getting a little higher with the temperatures\, and it’s been really fun watching. We have the Monarch migration\, and I know that we’ve talked about gardening on previous podcasts. So we’ve got milkweed in our yard\, so there’s a bunch of\, you know\, like different chrysalis and caterpillars and just a lot of fun things to look at on a daily basis\, and just watch that progression. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Where do they migrate to and from? \nCORAL OWEN: Canada from Mexico. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, okay. And they stop in Florida on the way. \nCORAL OWEN: They do. Yep. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s awesome\, cool. \nCORAL OWEN: It’s pretty neat. So yeah\, it\, you know\, inspiration can be found in a number of different places clearly\, and we would love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners. So if you’d like to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click the\, “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the [00:02:00] link\, your text messaging app will open. \nYou’ll see a seven digit number and the words\, “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org instead. So let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Let’s learn more about the practice of both/and thinking. I’ve heard this term so much working at Extension. I have heard a lot of people say\, “Oh\, I think it’s both\, and this is a both/and kind of situation.” I used to hate this phrase\, I don’t anymore because I fully understand it now. But Coral\, can you tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: That’s so funny that you mentioned that Jess. ‘Cause I\, similarly\, I had heard it in passing conversation and be like\, “What? What are they talking about? And I finally learned the concept and no longer have that sort of relationship with it that it sounded like jargon\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It sounds like jargon. [00:03:00] Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. So if this is you\, if that’s the boat you’re in\, hang in with us and maybe we can come about a mindset shift for you as well. But anyhow\, yeah. Today’s practice is one that has helped me not only professionally but personally\, in really big ways and some pretty impactful seasons of life. \nAnd particularly ones that have moments or prolonged seasons even of tension or uncertainty. And again\, this is the\, we’re referencing both and thinking and/both. And thinking is simply the practice of making space for multiple truths or realities to exist at the same time. And it’s a mindset. That helps us move beyond the binary\, either/or thinking\, especially during challenging transitions\, when emotions and responsibilities and expectations tend to run pretty high. \nSo instead of saying\, “I have to choose between being compassionate or being efficient\,” a both/and [00:04:00] perspective of this might be\, “I can be compassionate and keep things moving forward\,” or\, “This change is really hard.” And it might open up new possibilities or opportunities. I chose this practice because during change\, it’s really common for us to feel stuck in this kind of either or space. \nBut when we give ourselves and others room for this complexity and this nuance\, kind of that gray space even\, of the in-between\, it can create more connection\, more possibility\, and usually results in a better path forward. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I really love this\, and one of the things that’s sparking for me is\, in some of the work that I’ve done before\, with helping people sort of develop a more complete picture of other people. That’s also\, I feel like both-end thinking can probably be applied to thinking about others as well. \nWe had this game we would play in some of our workshops called pickles. And it was basically about how a person [00:05:00] might really hate pickles. That doesn’t mean that you should look at them and say\, “You’re probably a really picky eater and you know\, you probably will only eat McDonald’s\,” or\, not that there’s anything wrong with that\, but\, “You probably are a very picky eater.” \nNo\, no\, no. Two things can be true. The person might hate pickles and also like kimchi\, right? So they’re both fermented products anyway\, so it was a way of like opening your mind up to be less judgmental as well. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I love that. So\, yeah\, let’s go ahead and dig into how do we even do this. So this short\, reflective practice is something that you can use when you notice yourself\, or if you’re leading a team\, noticing your team getting stuck in this. A kind of rigid thinking rut\, or maybe it’s a high stress situation or polarized conversations that you’re noticing are coming to pass. \nSo step one is\, like we just said\, you’re noticing this either/or language. And what you should do or could do is [00:06:00] pause and ask yourself\, “Am I framing the situation as a choice between two extremes?” Are there other strategies that you can use to help you notice or\, you know\, kind of looking out for keywords like always\, never\, should\, either\, or are these phrases or words showing up in the conversation once you’ve moved through this noticing phase. \nStep two is to ask a both/and question\, and we try reframing the scenario or the question or the conversation\, from the space of curiosity. What if both of these things are true? What other perspectives or values are at play? How might I honor and recognize both what’s hard and what’s possible? \nAnd then step three is to turn it into a phrase or a statement\, something along the lines of\, these are simply a few examples\, “I’m feeling [00:07:00] uncertain and I’m doing the best I can.” “This decision is urgent and we need to pause for clarity.” “I can be a strong leader and feel vulnerable right now.” \nYou can do this in a variety of different formats or ways\, depending on the space that you’re in. You might write it in a journal. You might share it in a team meeting if the scenario calls for it\, or just pause and reflect silently with yourself. And you know\, really I think understanding that the goal here is not to resolve the tension immediately. It’s really just to expand your awareness and recognition of what’s actually true\, and what might be possible when we stop trying to force a single answer. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, this is beautiful. It’s a great explanation of both-end thinking and it reminds me of just how constructive this is\, right when you might be feeling like you’re in a very difficult position. This is just [00:08:00] something that builds. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. And you know\, whether you’re leading your team or like me\, you know\, parenting a three-year-old toddler who has lots of opinions\, you know\, this can be highly\, highly relevant and just a game changer in navigating any number of seasons or scenarios. And really\, you know\, overall just leaning into the humanness of these complex scenarios that sometimes can feel so high stakes. \nIt just lets us settle and ground in a bit\, or a lot\, and just feel more at ease about the process\, and just recognizing and holding space for all of the things that are at hand. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. Oh\, wonderful. Thanks so much for that. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with [00:09:00] a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/navigate-transitions-with-both-and-thinking/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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