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SUMMARY:Reliability in Action: Why Clear Requests Matter
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1MzEwNSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTczNTMxMDUtcmVsaWFiaWxpdHktaW4tYWN0aW9uLXdoeS1jbGVhci1yZXF1ZXN0cy1tYXR0ZXIuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzM1MzEwNSUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 25) \nHave you ever felt let down by someone who didn’t follow through – or realized you misunderstood what was asked of you? \nThis episode reveals why reliability starts with clear requests\, and how a few mindful tweaks to your communication can build trust and prevent frustration. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica explore the crucial link between trust and reliability\, inspired by Charles Feltman’s The Thin Book of Trust. Jessica introduces the practice “Clear Requests are Kind Requests\,” highlighting how our assumptions and unclear communication can undermine reliability – even with the best intentions. \nYou’ll learn the difference between direct\, indirect\, and really indirect requests\, and why being clear is an act of kindness for everyone involved. Jessica shares practical steps for both noticing and making clearer requests\, including key questions to ask and simple phrases to use. \nWhether you’re a leader\, a team member\, or just tired of miscommunication\, this episode will help you strengthen trust by making reliability a shared\, achievable goal. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hi there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my cohost\, Jessica is here today as well. We’re going to be talking about trust and reliability\, and Jessica’s going to be sharing a practice with us today. Jessica\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral. I’m doing pretty well. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about thinking lately\, which has been really interesting and really challenging. \nAlso\, I’m participating in a systems thinking group\, and it’s kind of funny\, but one of my recent realizations is that I always emphasized the systems part of systems thinking\, but the thinking part is absolutely crucial. It’s really funny\, but I’m almost embarrassed to admit that this super simple concept is one of my big realizations. But there it is. I’m an average student. [00:01:00]\nCORAL OWEN: No\, it’s so funny\, and I’m trying to think of\, you know\, a particular scenario\, but I’ve had similar realizations in the past\, and it’s sometimes those things just hit you square in the forehead and it\, you’re like\, “Oh my gosh\, how did I not realize that sooner?” \nBut yeah\, seriously. Sometimes the most simple realizations are the most profound and you’re going\, ha. But it\, you know\, it’s funny\, like when you have that brain\, that like seismic shift\, it can completely change how you interface and interact with a topic or you know\, a conversation that you’re having\, even if it’s just you’re like\, “Oh\, it was there all along. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, exactly. I mean\, for me it’s often been finally understanding song lyrics or something like that. Not usually something like this\, but maybe\, I bet I could come up with other examples if I really thought about it. Examples that are not song lyrics. I am very infamous in my household for getting song lyrics wrong because I just don’t care enough to know [00:02:00] all of the words and I just make up the words sometimes. So arguably more fun at family get together. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, exactly. All righty\, well\, today I’m really excited to dig into the second dimension of trust. And Jessica\, you’re gonna be leading us through a practice about trust and reliability. But before we dig into that\, could you share a little bit just about the practice in general and why you chose this practice specifically? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and I’ll just quick mention that if anyone’s\, you know\, listening to this episode kind of randomly\, I would recommend going back to our episode that we did a couple episodes back with Charles and Ina to listen to that. It’s a great primer into trust. \nSo yes\, the practice I chose for today is going to focus on reliability. And again\, it’s from Charles Feltman’s book\, the Thin Book of Trust\, and I’m calling it “Clear Requests are Kind Requests\,” because he didn’t have a name for it. And that title kind of borrows from Brene Brown’s often [00:03:00] used phrase\, “Clear is kind.” \nOur assessment of reliability is really interesting because it seems simple on the surface\, right? \nFrom our point of view\, someone committed to do something and they either did it or they did not follow through. Or maybe we committed to doing something and we either did or did not follow through. \nBut it actually isn’t that simple. So many times we are asking each other to kind of be mind readers\, which is why it’s really important to craft our requests as clearly as we are absolutely possibly able to. \nAnd as someone who might be receiving a request\, it’s important to be as clear as possible about what we’re being asked to do. Don’t agree to make a request or don’t make any offers about what someone is saying to you until the expectations have been clearly defined. People pleasers\, I’m talking to you! And I’m also speaking as one of [00:04:00] you. \nI have been so eager to help somebody before they’re describing something to me. I think I totally understand exactly what they’re asking and I’m like\, “I’ll do that. I’ll do the thing you’re asking\,” before I fully understand all of the details and the deadline and\, and all of that. \nSo like sometimes in the moment it can feel like we fully understand what needs to be done\, but your expectation of what you’re being asked to do might not match the expectations of the person making the request. \nSo we go about getting things done from our understanding of it alone. And we go about making requests from our understanding of the request without checking in that we’re all on the same page. So clear requests are kind because they align everyone involved. I go into more detail on this when I share the practice. \nBut in the Thin Book of Trust\, Charles Felman discusses three types of requests: direct requests\, which he says tend to work the best. These [00:05:00] requests use clear language and provide necessary details like who is this request for? \nSo basically\, who is making the request\, who’s the audience for the request? What actions are being requested? What constitutes satisfactory completion of the request? What are the deadlines and is there any context that needs to be provided in order to help the person get the job done? \nAnd then there are indirect requests. These requests are less clear\, but they get used often because the language feels a little less harsh to some people. \nI’m guilty of making indirect requests quite a bit. The requester might actually even use passive language\, like this task needs to be done. But they don’t say who should do it. They’re not asking you to do it. They’re not asking anyone to do it at all. They’re just saying this needs to be done and they’re hoping someone will make an offer. \nAnd then there are really indirect requests. These requests don’t sound like requests at all. [00:06:00] So something like this\, “The sink is always a mess.” Just sounds like statement\, right? So what’s the request behind that statement? “Clean up after your meetings\, clean up after yourself.” Would you please clean up after yourself\, however polite you wanna make it. \nSo those are like the three different types of requests\, and I think that the really indirect requests\, especially\, underline why clear requests are needed. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that\, and breaking it down into those three buckets is really helpful to understand perhaps what a better starting point would be. But I think maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. \nJessica\, would you like to walk us through your clear requests or kind requests practice and how we can go about really getting more clear? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. So clear requests\, or kind requests\, are a little difficult to say if you try to say it\, but it is [00:07:00] an activity that involves both mindful attention and direct practice. \nSo we’ll start with the mindful attention. Start by just noticing the types of requests people make of you or others in your office\, or frankly\, you can watch TV and notice the types of requests people are making of each other on a show that you watch. Label them in your mind as direct\, indirect\, or really indirect. \nThen reflect on how you could rephrase the request to make it more clear. Or you might reflect on what questions you might ask to draw out a more clear request. So remember\, you might be reflecting from the point of view of the person making the request of someone\, or you might be reflecting on this from the point of view of someone who has heard a request and is trying to fully understand it. \nSo the kinds of questions you might reflect on would be\, you know\, who is this request for? When is it due? What specific actions are being [00:08:00] requested? How will I know if I’ve satisfactorily completed the request? And is there any additional context that would be helpful? So\, the mindful attention is just labeling and reflecting. \nThe direct practice then is practicing making clear requests. If it helps\, you can write it out. To start\, just choose a few direct request starter phrases for you to use so that if you’re in the moment and you need to ask somebody something\, you’ve got a good starter phrase to start with. Like\, “Will you clean the sink\,” or “Will you please clean the sink?” \nMy favorite is actually\, “Are you willing to clean the sink?” But I think that might just barely fall into the indirect category. So it works for me\, but it may not work for everyone if you’re trying to be even more direct. \nCORAL OWEN: Simple\, straightforward\, to the point. I love it. Well\, thanks so much for guiding us through that Jessica. \nI appreciate it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF:Yeah\, you are welcome. \nCORAL OWEN: Alright\, well that’s [00:09:00] it for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode or found it useful\, please click the share button at the bottom of your podcast app to share it with a friend. You can also drop us a line for any questions that you have or thoughts and share those with us at Practicing connection@oneop.org. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode on the Competence Distinction of Trust\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reliability-in-action-why-clear-requests-matter/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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CREATED:20250612T102528Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T165210Z
UID:10001602-1749708000-1749747600@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Practicing Sincerity - Say What You Mean
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzI5MjU4MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcyOTI1ODItcHJhY3RpY2luZy1zaW5jZXJpdHktc2F5LXdoYXQteW91LW1lYW4uanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzI5MjU4MiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 24) \nEver left a conversation wishing you’d said what you really meant?  \nThis week\, we’ll show you a simple practice to help you notice – and close – the gap between your true thoughts and your spoken words\, so you can build trust through greater sincerity. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica and Coral dive into one of the four key distinctions of trust: sincerity. Inspired by their recent conversation with trust experts Charles Feltman and Ila Edgar\, Coral introduces a reflective practice called “What I Thought vs. What I Said.” \nThis simple\, powerful exercise helps you become more aware of the differences between your internal experience and your external communication. \nYou’ll learn step-by-step how to use this practice after any conversation to uncover where you might be holding back\, why that happens\, and how you can bring more of your authentic self to your next interaction. \nWhether you tend to avoid conflict\, people-please\, or just want to strengthen your relationships\, this episode offers practical guidance for building trust – one sincere conversation at a time. \nLinks\n\nThe Thin Book of Trust (Third edition)\, by Charles Feltman\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about practicing sincerity\, and Coral’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hey Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey\, Jessica. I’m good. I’ve been really enjoying preparing for this month’s practical series based on our incredible conversation with Charles and Ila. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I was so inspired by that conversation\, and I was so thrilled that they were willing to have the conversation with us. I haven’t facilitated one of my trust workshops – you know\, one of the reasons I thought to reach out to Charles is that I have been teaching off of his material for quite a long time\, and I haven’t facilitated one of them for a while. So it’s been really fun to dig back into the content again. \nCORAL OWEN: I’ll bet and yeah\, you were the one who introduced this whole framework to me\, and so\, you know\, I’m just so thrilled to dig into [00:01:00] something newer to me and that fresh perspective on such fundamental practices. We’re gonna go into a little bit deeper dive in each of the practicasts this month. \nIt’s been really thought provoking and I’m just so glad that we get to share more with everyone over the next few weeks. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I think that a lot of times when I read books that are\, you know\, these books that are supposed to help us have better relationships at work or whatever\, they’re filled with great content. \nI have never found a book that’s as\, and I am not trying to push this book at all\, but I have never found a book that’s as actionable as this one. It’s really inspiring stuff. \nSo speaking of tangible practices\, let’s learn more about practicing sincerity and saying what you mean. \nCoral\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice that you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: Yes\, definitely. So just to recap\, sincerity is one of the four key distinctions of trust that we touched on in our conversation with Charles and Ila. And it’s how [00:02:00] closely our words match our true thoughts\, feelings\, and intentions. \nAnd the practice I’m sharing today is a simple check-in with a very simple name. We’ll just reference it as\, “What I thought versus what I said\,” and this can help raise our awareness of any gaps between what we’ve said and what we were actually thinking or feeling at that time. \nThis practice does come from The Thin Book of Trust\, and it helps us slow down and bring intention to what we say or have clarity around what was said\, and that way we can begin to align our communication with what’s true for us in a way that still respects the other person that we’re talking with. \nI like this practice because it helps us connect with our own trust tendencies as well. For instance\, if you tend to avoid conflict or lean into people pleasing\, perhaps being direct in your communication\, it might feel kind of challenging. However\, this practice can encourage us to take small steps and adjusting how we communicate and react in situations that may take us out of alignment and ultimately helps us shift how we show up in relationships for the better. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:03:00] Yeah\, I love that. I love that angle of thinking about how our own trust tendencies and you know\, that if we tend to avoid trust or lean into people pleasing\, like understanding what that is. And one thing that I’m often telling people too\, or hopefully I’m teaching them and not just telling them\, is that also knowing our tendencies for\, “Do we tend to trust first until it’s been broken\, or do we tend to make people earn our trust?” \nBecause if we do that and we don’t communicate about it\, and we don’t learn to communicate about that or learn to kind of be in touch with their own trust tendencies\, then it can be much harder down the road as we’re trying to build trust with people. \nCORAL OWEN: That’s a really\, really great point\, Jess. \n– break – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right\, well let’s get started. Please walk us through this practice\, Coral. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely\, will do. So [00:04:00] as we noted\, this is a reflective practice. So something you can do after a conversation or an interaction just to build your awareness around sincerity. And you can do it\, you know\, if you prefer to journal or kind of moving meditation\, walking\, reflection\, or just in your head\, it’s totally up to you. \nBut we’re gonna roll through four steps of how to think through and reflect through this process. So step one\, simply recall a conversation. Think about a conversation where you perhaps held back\, felt unclear or wishing\, walking away\, wishing you’d said something a little bit different. Choose a moment that ideally is a little bit more recent so that it’s still pretty fresh in your memory. \nAnd then step two\, we’re gonna ask ourselves two questions. So the first one is\, “What was I actually thinking or feeling at the time?” And then secondly\, “What did I actually say?” \nAnd if you’re someone that likes to write these things out\, you might divide this as two columns. The left side perhaps is what I thought or felt\, and then what I said and you know\, maybe just a [00:05:00] hypothetical example\, what you thought or felt might be\, this situation doesn’t really sit right with me\, but it may have come out of your mouth as\, “Yeah\, okay. That sounds good. I’ll go with the flow.” \nAnd clearly\, you know\, there’s a gap that we may become aware of. And that leads us into step three\, which is reflecting on any gaps. And so we can walk through a couple of reflection points. You know\, was there a difference between what you thought and what you said? \nAnd then let’s dig a little bit deeper. What’s perhaps stopping you from speaking more honestly in that scenario? Is it perhaps a fear of conflict or not being ready\, or not knowing how to respond. \nAnd then furthermore\, digging a little bit deeper\, what impact did that gap have on you? On the relationship? On the conversation\, perhaps the dynamic in the room. And then finally\, this is more of our [00:06:00] prospective look from there\, considering what you might try next time. So if there was a noticeable gap between what you said and what you were feeling or thinking at the time\, could you bring a little bit more truth into a similar situation going forward? \nThis is really one of the biggest things that hit home with me is what is one sentence. How could you have worded it differently\, that could feel more sincere and still be respectful? So practicing that language ahead of time and even visioning yourself\, going through a little head movie of replaying that conversation and then practicing in your head. \nOr you could even do this with a colleague or a friend\, practicing how you would respond going forward in the future. And that’s it. It’s very plain and simple. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, I’m just gonna call out an example that you actually wrote out in our notes that you didn’t use\, because when I think about a scenario like this\, sometimes it’s something like maybe there’s a [00:07:00] power differential that kept you from speaking more. \nHonestly\, and I love this example\, you put in the notes that next time you might say\, “I’m not sure I agree\, but I’d like to understand more before I respond.” You might even cut out the\, “I’m not sure I agree part\,” and just say\, “I’d like to understand more before I respond\,” right. So\, depending on the person and the relationship. \nSo I don’t mean to call out something you put in the notes that you decided not to say\, but I thought it was a really great example. \nCORAL OWEN: Thank you. And that’s actually one that I’ve practiced using in the past\, and it can be really helpful. But yeah\, this is such a great practice for just getting clear on where we’re starting from and then figuring out\, we don’t have to make big sweeping changes overnight or even in the span of a month or two. \nBut you know\, just figuring out how to turn that dial ever so slightly more in the direction that we’re hoping to step that will bring us closer into alignment is\, it’s a great place to start. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Awesome. Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If [00:08:00] you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend\, or drop us a line at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \nWe’ll be back next week with a practice for reliability. Until then\, keep practicing. \n  \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/practicing-sincerity-say-what-you-mean/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Teamwork_blog.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250605T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250605T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250605T103747Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250722T202450Z
UID:10001601-1749103200-1749142800@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Trust as a Practice: Lessons from the Experts\, with Charles Feltman and Ila Edgar
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzI3NTI3MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcyNzUyNzMtdHJ1c3QtYXMtYS1wcmFjdGljZS1sZXNzb25zLWZyb20tdGhlLWV4cGVydHMtd2l0aC1jaGFybGVzLWZlbHRtYW4tYW5kLWlsYS1lZGdhci5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3Mjc1MjczJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 23) \nWhat if trust wasn’t just a feeling\, but a set of skills you could build\, repair\, and strengthen – on purpose?  \nIn this special episode of Practicing Connection\, hosts Jessica Beckendorf and Coral Owen sit down with Charles Feltman\, author of The Thin Book of Trust\, and Ila Edgar\, founder of Big Change Inc. and co-hosts of the Trust on Purpose podcast. Together\, they explore what it really means to build\, maintain\, and repair trust – at work\, at home\, and in our communities. \nCharles and Ila share the four domains of trust – Competence\, Sincerity\, Reliability\, and Care – and explain how these domains transform trust from a fuzzy concept into something you can intentionally practice every day. \nThrough real-world stories and practical advice\, they reveal why trust is never binary\, why conversations about trust matter\, and how high-trust environments unlock resilience\, collaboration\, and innovation. \nWhether you’re a leader\, a team member\, or simply someone who wants stronger relationships\, this episode will give you actionable tools and mindsets to help you become a masterful trust-builder. \nPlus\, discover personal practices for resilience and connection\, and learn how to start flexing your trust “muscle” today. \nLinks\n\n\n\nTrust on Purpose podcast\nIla Edgar\, Big Change Inc.\nCharles Feltman\, Insight Coaching\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. \nCORAL OWEN: And I’m Coral Owen. In this episode\, we’ll be talking about trust with our guest\, Ila Edgar of Big Change\, Inc.\, and Charles Felman of Insight Coaching. Their podcast\, Trust on Purpose\, helps individuals become intentional about building\, maintaining\, and repairing trust in all areas of life\, from the workplace to personal relationships. \nThrough insightful conversations and real world examples\, they explore what strengthens or damages trust\, offering practical tools to help listeners become masterful trust builders so that their relationships can truly flourish. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That is beautiful. I’m gonna start by just saying\, Coral\, that I am so excited for our guest today. \nFirst\, Charles Feltman serves people who seek to grow themselves into the best leaders they can be for themselves\, their teams\, and companies. And after over 25 years as an executive and leadership coach\, he has had the privilege of working with many outstanding leaders and [00:01:00] leadership teams worldwide. Charles is also the author of The Thin Book of Trust\, an Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work. \nNow in its third edition\, which is really one of my personal favorite resources\, I have three copies here that I have lent out to people. I have told people to buy the book. It’s really truly one of my personal favorite resources. He has a number of impressive sounding certifications related to his work\, but what is really important to him is that he is a certified husband\, father\, and grandfather. \nIla Ecker is the founder of Big Change Inc.\, where she helps leaders and teams build trust\, strengthen connections\, and do good work together. With over 25 years of experience\, Ila focuses on developing trust\, building skills\, while understanding the crucial role distrust plays in relationships. \nGuided by her values of generosity\, connection\, irreverence\, and learning\, Ila invites vulnerability\, courage\, and the human side of leadership into her [00:02:00] work. A sought after keynote speaker and experiential facilitator\, she specializes in designing behavior change and creating lasting results. And on top of all of that\, she’s a wife\, daughter\, sister\, aunt\, and great aunt\, as well as a friend\, colleague\, and proud mom to her son\, who has been one of her greatest teachers. Ila and Charles\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. Thanks so much for joining our conversation. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Thank you Jessica. That was a great introduction from both of you. Thank you very much. I feel like a better person than I thought I was when I started this. Looking forward to the conversation very much. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Me too. \nILA EDGAR: Thank you for having us. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Excellent. Well\, we’re gonna get right to the heart of what you guys are great at. And I wanna know what first inspired each of you to focus on trust and has your perspective on trust changed over time. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I think I first encountered the power of trust when I was an undergraduate at university and got roped [00:03:00] into getting trained and being a community mediator in the town and the community where I lived\, and learned very quickly that trust was absolutely essential for effective mediation. \nTwo or more parties that are very upset with each other and not communicating well and not trusting each other\, the first thing I would have to do is build trust with each of them in the sense that they needed to trust that I was not going to be partial to one party or another\, that I was gonna treat everyone the same. \nOnce that trust was built\, then I had the job of helping them build trust with each other. So that they could at least have enough trust to create an agreement that would last\, that they could all sign onto and and work with. So that was pretty early on. There were large gaps in my thinking about trust over the years after that. \nBut when I started being [00:04:00] a coach\, when I started serving my clients in a capacity as a coach\, that’s when I began to really hear again this need for trust. My clients came to me and they were saying\, you know\, “I don’t trust so and so\,” or\, “I don’t trust this\, or I don’t trust that person\, and it’s a real problem for me.” \nAnd so suddenly I was back in\, oh my gosh\, these people are struggling. They’re suffering because they don’t know how to build trust\, and maintain it or repair it when it’s broken. And I had learned a kind of a framework for doing that or helping people do that in the coach training program that I attended to become a certified coach. \nSo I started using that\, probably around 2000 or so\, started using it with my clients\, and it was pretty effective since then. Actually not long after I started using it\, I noticed that there was\, for me anyway\, a piece missing\, so I added to it. And then I also created a definition for [00:05:00] trust that seemed to be really valuable and useful for my clients. \nAnd perspective change. I don’t think I’ve had a perspective changed so much as I’ve broadened my perspective of how dynamic trust can be and trust building can be. And I’ve gone from\, you know\, what’s the value of having one-on-one trust with another person to\, being someone who can create an environment where other people or various people in that environment\, members of a team\, or people in even an organization as a whole can more easily trust each other. \nSo creating a kind of a culture in which trust is something that people pay attention to. So I’ll just stop there and let Ila jump in\, because I’m sure she has some\, well\, I know she has an interesting story here to tell as well\, \nILA EDGAR: I’m a little bit different\, and I say this with so much love and kindness to my younger self\, but I literally bumped around life naively not having a clue [00:06:00] or any intention or a purview about what trust was. \nI knew the word linguistically\, but I had no idea what it meant. I had no idea how to navigate it\, and in the home that I grew up in\, it certainly wasn’t anything that was ever taught\, spoke about\, modeled at all. And so\, yeah\, I think I just\, I bumped around in life and figured things out\, “Oh\, that works\, and that doesn’t work.” \nAnd then when I took my coach training\, which would’ve been 2010\, I was introduced to the model that Charles is referring to and that he’s now built on to. Within\, I don’t know\, like minutes of understanding this framework\, suddenly trust made so much sense to me. It was like the heavens opened\, the angels saying\, and it was like\, oh my gosh\, this makes so much sense now. \nAnd I could understand where not only my own relationship with trust was\, but it really helped me start to navigate this isn’t how everyone trusts. [00:07:00] And how do I wanna be more intentional about it? How do I wanna live this in my life in a way that’s practical skill-based\, right? That just made such a big difference for me. \nHuge. It’s Charles’s\, it’s Charles’s fault. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Well\, I’m actually envious of Ila and the angels singing and\, and as heavens opening up ’cause you know\, never quite had that experience. I certainly had the experience of bumbling around not understanding how to build trust. In my years in working in organizations in Silicon Valley\, I had made plenty of errors along those lines. \nSo\, yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know where the heavens open for me in this trust work\, and I’ve seen it\, maybe not the heavens open\, but I’ve seen massive realizations occur on people’s faces when I’ve done\, and I believe I got this exercise from your book Charles\, and that was asking people to think about somebody that they trust and describe them. \nRight? “Let’s throw out some adjectives. How would you describe this person [00:08:00] you really trust? And then think about somebody that you haven’t trusted and throw out some words there\,” which\, there were some pretty colorful words that come out\, right\, when people described that\, and then I mentioned to them\, “Well\, no wonder we don’t talk about this.” \nAnd their eyes just are like\, oh. I’m like\, okay\, we gotta learn how to talk about this with each other. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Yes. And actually that’s a huge piece of\, I know what both Ila and I do in our work is help people have conversations about trust that allow them to build it and strengthen it and repair it. And the framework that we use really goes a long way in aiding and abetting that\, \nCORAL OWEN: Hmm. \nThat is so\, so true that when you give folks a framework or language to talk about it\, it becomes more tangible and can make some of these really kind of nebulous things. It brings them closer into our view and to be able to hold that and [00:09:00] then work with it\, it’s a lot more malleable like clay. And so I love what y’all do in\, you know\, giving folks this language and this framework\, and I would love if we could just briefly name and define the domains of trust that y’all help folks dig into\, just so our audience could better understand what we’re gonna be talking about today. Ila\, could you kick us off and help with that? \nILA EDGAR: For sure\, for sure. So the four distinct domains are competency\, sincerity\, reliability\, and my personal favorite\, care. And the most important\, yes. And the most important. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: We should talk about what we mean by each of those four assessment domains. What are we talking about in each one of those? \nYou can get something from the word\, but I think there’s more to it than that. \nILA EDGAR: My description is a little\, uh\, rogue and a little – \nCHARLES FELTMAN: That’s fine. That’s great. That’s\, I love it. I love your [00:10:00] reverence. \nILA EDGAR: So competence is\, do you have the skills? Education\, knowledge\, resources\, experience to do the task you’ve been given or the task you’ve accepted. \nSo you can absolutely trust me to have a conversation about trust with you today. But don’t trust me to cut your hair\, pull your tooth\, fix a car\, fly a plane\, cook a rack of lamb and a whole boatload of other things I don’t know how to do. Why would you trust me? I love starting with that one in particular\, because in that first domain we see that trust isn’t an on or off. \nIt’s not that I either do trust you or I don’t trust you\, but we start to understand\, oh\, there’s different criteria\, different ways to assess trust. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Which I’ll just tag on and say\, in the domain of competence\, standards really are important because you can probably pick five\, well\, any\, all four of us actually\, and we could pick a particular competency or a skill and we’d each have a slightly different standard for what is competence in that [00:11:00] skill. So having a shared standard is where people begin to be able to talk about trust and create trust. \nILA EDGAR: Mm-hmm. Thank you for adding that. So sincerity\, the way I describe it is\, does your external dialogue match your internal dialogue? So is there congruence between what you’re thinking and what you’re saying? \nAnd what I typically point to right away is a criminal\, or a “dirty yes.” And we’re all guilty of it where we’re saying yes out loud\, but we’re already looking for an exit strategy that\, “How the heck do I get out of what I just said yes to?” \nAnd we think that we hide that. But honestly\, in the relationship and whoever we’re saying this dirty yes to is like\, they may not be able to point to it or corral as you’re saying. They may not have the language around it\, but they sense something’s adrift. Or we sense when individuals are like\, “Yeah\, sure\, I [00:12:00] get that for you.” \nSo there’s a felt sense\, which is where I connect into our vagus nerve\, right? All of that super juicy information that comes from our vagus nerve up to our brain and informs us. So I think that’s where sincerity is really important to pay attention to. And if we tie in the topic of psychological safety in organizations\, if all people are allowed to do is say\, “yes\,” you are a hundred percent getting criminal and dirty yeses because people don’t feel they have any other space to say anything but yes. \nAnd so how do we make space for people to have at least a conversation about. “I want to make a sincere commitment here\, and here’s why I’m hesitating.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Could I ask a question about this? I would imagine also then that someone who grew up in a certain environment where they also had to say “yes\,” like that probably tends to stick with people\, and it makes it harder [00:13:00] later\, even if they are in a work environment where it’s totally okay to say no. \nThey still feel like they’re not doing enough and they have to say yes all the time. So I can imagine\, I mean. I’ve been there. \nILA EDGAR: It’s um\, this is a really interesting exercise that I’ll do in in-person workshops\, is actually have two people stand and one person makes a request and the other person\, their only job is to say “no.” \nAnd the request is simple. It’s just\, “Could you get me a glass of water?” And the other person needs to say no. And it’s fascinating. Sometimes they can’t even get the word out. But you should see what their\, like\, their bodies are contorting because it’s so wildly uncomfortable to say this word. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, I love that activity so much. \nI bring a lot of improv into my workshops and I feel like that’s a great activity to make people start to learn what it feels like to say no and for it to be safe to say no. \nILA EDGAR: Right\, and a low-risk [00:14:00] request\, right? Like we’re just seeing what happens here. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: So interestingly\, I coached a guy some years ago\, a leader\, but he had a great deal of difficulty saying no. \nAnd in fact\, for him\, the only way that he could get no out of his mouth was to really amp up the emotion of anger. So he had to be angry in order to say no. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Which obviously created problems for him. I mean\, I shouldn’t laugh. So he had to practice a lot saying no and not being angry or amping the anger down. \nBut yeah\, how we access no and can formulate it and say it has a whole lot to do with our history. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: As you were saying\, Jessica\, if you were brought up in the family where you pretty much\, it was dangerous to say no in some way or another\, you’re gonna have some kind of [00:15:00] somatic experience around saying no\, that’s challenging for you. \nAnd so I love that you notice that for yourself. \nCORAL OWEN: Ila\, could we move forward with what is the third domain of trust that y’all work in? \nILA EDGAR: Reliability. Oh\, so the way I describe this is\, how you keep your promises is just as important as how you break them. And I typically start work with groups asking for\, “A show of hands\, is everyone in the room or is everyone here a hundred percent human?” And that a hundred percent humanness is a reminder that we’re gonna mess up. \nWe’re\, “Did we make a mistake? I don’t know\, I just forgot to click send.” Or\, you know\, “That slipped my mind.” This normalizing our humanness\, that we’re not perfect and we’re not supposed to be. And so the interesting thing about reliability is the closer to the deadline\, we break the promise\, the bigger the trust impact. \nNow the further space we [00:16:00] have\, Charles may still be very disappointed\, frustrated\, and annoyed with me\, very normal human emotions\, and we have time and space to find a plan. B\, C\, D. \nNow it’s interesting and I love spending a bit of time in this domain in particular because most people that have some trickies around being reliable\, don’t realize the impact to trust. \nAnd so think of\, do we all have friends that you make plans and they jam at the last minute? You make plans again. They jam at the last minute. You make plans again. They jam at the last minute. How many times do you keep making plans until you just stop? But in the end\, that friend doesn’t likely know the impact of that low reliability in the relationship in the workplace. \nWe don’t have that ability to just stop making plans with them\, but we start to look for ways to work around them because we can’t [00:17:00] rely on their performance\, so we can’t rely on them to deliver. \nCORAL OWEN: There is just so much to unpack here\, and I’m actually getting very bummed that we don’t have more time. \nSo\, to round us out\, Ila\, this is\, as you noted\, your personal favorite. Why is care your favorite domain to work in and delve into? \nILA EDGAR: Well\, are you as committed to my success as I am to yours? We can work with people in organizations that are not gonna become our bf’s. Like we don’t completely love and adore them\, but we still have to work with them. \nAnd so even when there’s\, you know\, maybe personality or things that we don’t jive as smoothly as other relationships\, can we still find something that we care about together? Is there a shared care? Do we care about the outcome of this project? Do we care about\, you know\, looking good in front of this vp? \nIs there something that we can align on that’s a shared care? And I think especially for me\, it’s the constant reminder\, none of [00:18:00] us wake up in the morning and put our feet on the ground trying to be a jerk. None of us are like\, “How can I be mediocre today?” You know\, “How can I just\, you know\, bump along in life?” \nAll of us really are trying to just do the best we can every day. And so how can we have a little bit more care for each other\, maybe a little bit more love\, a little bit more compassion? And when we do that\, even if it’s just 1% more\, what’s possible? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That was like a wonderful explanation with the four distinctions. \nCharles\, I wonder if you had anything you wanted to add to it? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Not really\, yeah\, that was great. I think that was great. That was very clear and slightly different than my explanation or description of them\, but plenty good. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Excellent. I’m wondering if one or both of you would like to speak at all to the difference some people might have in how they write. \nIla mentioned that care is her favorite. Care is also my favorite. Do some people put more weight on one [00:19:00] distinction over another and what happens when there’s a mismatch between people who put more weight on one distinction? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I would say that yes\, there are people who have\, you know\, put more weight on one or another of the trust domains\, the assessment domains\, for example. \nOften\, not all the time\, but often I’ll work with groups of engineers. And if I ask them what domain is most important to them in building trust\, it’s competence\, hands down. Whereas I may work with\, you know\, a group of people who are reporting to a particular level of executive\, and one of the things that’s really important to them is that that executive or those executives at that level actually care. \nThey can trust that those executives care about them and that their leaders are being honest within which falls in the domain of sincerity. So it depends\, and it’s also dependent on the situation. [00:20:00] Again\, I’m gonna have a different concern with one individual sometimes than another. It really is dynamic in that respect. \nSo having conversations\, especially in a team\, but even just between two people in a work environment\, it’s great because people get to hear each other speak about what’s important to me under what circumstances and what’s maybe not so important to me under certain circumstances. So again\, going back to that need for value in having conversations about trust and having this framework and language that allows those conversations: incredibly valuable. \nCORAL OWEN: Taking that forward\, Ila\, I’d love to start with you for this one. Can you share an example of where applying a trust framework transformed a challenging situation or a relationship? And if anything\, what did you learn from this experience about the complexity of trust in the [00:21:00] process? \nILA EDGAR: Oh that’s a juicy one. That’s a juicy one. I’ll tell the story and condense it. It’s relatively recent\, but there’s an organization that I have worked with for a number of years in the States and focusing on building the competency and the executive team in trust building behaviors. And we took weeks and weeks and weeks and rolled up our sleeves and practiced and what does the language sound like? \nBecause often I\, and I think probably you would all agree that what stops us from saying a lot of different things is we don’t know how to start. Like\, I’m never gonna say to you\, “Coral\, I don’t trust you.” Those words would never come out of my mouth\, but I’m gonna feel it. \nOr I may say like\, “I trust you completely\, but I can’t validate why.” And so we’d spent a lot of time working with the executive team\, and then they took these skills and worked with their downline. We did a lot [00:22:00] of work over many\, many\, many months\, and we could see how the organization’s culture was starting to change. \nA lot of it comes down to rewarding people’s vulnerability\, and so they’re like\, “I don’t really know how to say this\, but there is something I wanna talk to you about\, and so just\, you know\, let me bump along into it.” Or\, “I have said something and it didn’t come out right\, so could I have a do-over? Because I wanna take care of our relationship.” \nAnd so really rewarding people when they were vulnerable in their actions around intentionally building trust\, meeting trust\, and then repairing trust. \nAnd then it all came crashing down with a senior leadership change and someone who decided that those behaviors were no longer important. It was far more important to push through a massive reorg and change and not take care of the people\, [00:23:00] not be reliable\, not be sincere\, not hold competence. It’s quite devastating now\, I look at the organization to see how much time and effort and care from these lovely humans put into building this beautifully strong\, connected\, caring\, trusting environment. \nAnd within three months because the leader\, new leader didn’t think it was valuable\, and it’s like a completely different organization. It’s\, “Where’s my heart? It’s lost this\, oh\, it’s lost this.” Yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: For those of you who can’t see\, Ila held up\, “has lost heart.” \nILA EDGAR: Yeah\, it’s lost heart. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s a perfect segue\, Ila\, into something\, a question I have in my mind and that is\, and Charles\, I’d love to start with you on this one. How do you help people or organizations move beyond the idea that trust is either present or absent\, and instead see it as something as dynamic [00:24:00] and situational and something which deserves to be worked on. What kind of effect does that have? So how do you help them move beyond that idea? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I’ll address the first one first\, which is this idea of\, you know\, an on off switch. Either I trust you completely or I don’t trust you at all\, which as I was listening to somebody just\, or talking with someone just recently\, he said\, “Oh my God\, yeah\, I’ve been writing off all these people and there’s very few people left in the organization that I can trust because she was doing exactly that.” \nAnd that’s one of the things that the four assessment domains of trust can really help with\, because you can immediately begin to see that\, well\, Ila’s example at the very beginning: “You can trust me\, you know\, to show up and be on your podcast\, but you can’t trust me to always say something intelligent.” \nBut joking aside\, the four domains really help with that. I can trust someone in the domain [00:25:00] of reliability. They get their work done\, they’re reliable. I can trust them in the domain of competence. They’re competent. However\, I may have a concern about their trust in the domain of care. Do they actually have my interests and mind as well as their own. \nSo when we begin to talk about that\, using that language\, people can begin to see that they can trust someone in some ways and not others. And the benefit of that is in the workplace in particular\, you don’t have to just write somebody off completely because you don’t trust them in the domain of whatever\, you know\, one of those domains. \nThat their behavior is untrustworthy there\, but it can still be trustworthy. And so you can continue to work with them and set boundaries for yourself such that the behaviors that they have or actions they take in that other domain\, which you don’t trust so much\, are not gonna be potentially harmful for you. \nSo if\, [00:26:00] if that makes sense\, that’s what I would say to that question. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So what effect does that have once they\, once they kind of move from the idea of the binary of\, you know\, there’s trust or there isn’t trust\, and they start to see it as something dynamic and situational\, \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Oh yeah\, it’s huge for many people. Not everybody\, A lot of people already kind of get that and it’s just tipping them over the edge. But there’s a lot of people that really\, that changes their whole perspective on trust. \nThe person I was mentioning earlier\, the woman who had said to me\, “Oh\, you know\, I’ve gotten to the point where there’s only two or three people in this entire organization that I feel like I can trust.” And it was really hard for her. She was suffering in that situation and suddenly she saw a way clear to actually go back into the organization and build connections of trust in ways that worked for her and to be able to work with those people so that she could get stuff done and not [00:27:00] be hemmed into this tiny little square of trust with two or three other people. \nSo that was a huge\, you know\, it was a huge a-ha and a huge opening for her. And I find that happens often with people when they get it\, that it’s not just an on/off switch. \nCORAL OWEN: Charles\, that’s a wonderful segue actually into a question that I had in mind\, which was\, it seems like there’s this spectrum that organizations\, folks\, relationships can be on the places where trust is lacking as they move from a place where there’s that lack of trust\, or it is very non kind of binary. \nAs those relationships are foraged and strengthened and trust becomes more permeating in the relationships in an organization\, Ila or Charles\, what effects do you see? In an organization collectively or even individually\, the impacts [00:28:00] as trust is more pervasive and more of a cultural norm in the ways that folks work\, what are the benefits or the impacts from that? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: I think for me\, the biggest benefit is that when we distrust\, we’re operating out of a neural network\, if you will\, a biology that is built to protect and defend. And so our bodies are on the defense all the time. And when we trust\, our bodies are open\, our minds are open together. We’re in that sense. \nSo if you can imagine a group of people who are closed\, protective\, defended\, and trying to work together to get something done doesn’t work very well. Flip that to even a little bit more trusting\, and our bodies or their bodies start to [00:29:00] relax. Their minds start to open up. They’re able to think better. \nThey’re able to expand their perspectives on things better\, differently. That for me is\, as I see that happen with individuals and teams that I’ve worked with\, it’s been huge for them and for their productivity\, for their creativity\, for their innovation. \nILA EDGAR: I feel like distrust gets a bad rap\, so we don’t wanna diminish or ignore it or make distrust wrong or bad. \nAnd Charles is pointing to\, it happens\, distrust happens in our amygdalas or our fight/flight/freeze. And our amygdala doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat. And so very easily\, in a work environment in particular\, someone might say a comment about\, you know\, “Oh\, Ila’s first draft of that proposal was garbage\,” and I’m gonna go\, “Hmm\,” because I feel like [00:30:00] my competency is threatened\, right? \nAnd so I wanna know that\, be aware of it\, and then go\, “Oh\, but it’s Charles. Charles would never be a jerk to me.” Like\, it’s okay\, system exhale\, but it’s also important because sometimes there is a threat and it is a real threat\, and so we wanna pay attention to that. \nAnd so I think there’s this juicy little nanosecond of self-awareness where we have the opportunity to go\, hang on\, is this something I need to pay attention to? Or is it my body’s system thinking that there’s a grizzly bear coming after me when actually it’s\, you know\, Bob from accounting and it’s okay. \nSo I don’t wanna give distrust a bad rap. I wanna highlight that it’s important to pay attention to and build awareness around. And again\, so we can point to what’s actually happening and is there something here I need to take care of? Or can I help my nervous system reregulate and go\, “Hey\, thanks for alerting me\, but I got this. We’re okay.” [00:31:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Thank you so much for that insight. I feel like I’ve learned ten new things and I\, like I said\, I’ve already\, you know\, I’ve been teaching off of your trust materials\, Charles\, for quite a while\, and I feel like today during this conversation I’ve learned a whole bunch of new things that I am very excited to dig into a little bit more. \nWe love to end our podcast with one quick question of\, do you have a personal practice that you could use to help build your own resilience and connection? And Ila\, I’d love to start with you on this one and then Charles after\, \nILA EDGAR: This is gonna sound really weird\, um: I pay attention to my feet. And so when I get caught in my head or I’m swirling in something\, I literally lose connection with my feet\, and then I know I’m no longer grounded. \nAnd so for me\, being able to come back into my body and the present moment happens through my feet\, so I’m [00:32:00] often barefoot even when it’s -30C\, I wanna feel texture and connection because it’s like\, oh yeah\, you’re off there somewhere\, or you’re spinning about something that is taking you away from connection or causing disconnection or withdrawal or a barrier. \nSo for me\, coming back to present and being in my body is a really important practice for me. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thank you. And not weird. It is the first time we’ve had one on feet though. Charles\, how about you? \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Uh my feet\, I can’t be in barefoot in the snow. It just doesn’t work for me. But a similar practice in the sense that I observe my breathing and practice observing my breathing\, even when I’m not necessarily in a challenging situation\, but it allows me to kind of gauge where I am in a situation. \nAm I breathing high and shallow? That means for me that my amygdala has potentially been engaged. And in that [00:33:00] moment\, can I like\, you know\, we talked about a little bit ago\, can I stop and go\, “Wait a minute\, what’s really going on here? Is there a real threat or is there something I really need to pay attention to? And even if it is something I really need to pay attention to\, wouldn’t it be better to do so?” \nFrom a place of center and groundedness than from\, you know\, flying off into who knows where. So intentionally bringing my breath back down into my belly\, which actually changes my physiology and my brain state. \nSo that’s for me\, my practice and how I manage that. \nCORAL OWEN: Those are two wonderful touch points\, and what I love most about both of them is that they are so\, so simple. So thank you for wrapping that up with us on such a lovely note. And that’s a wrap for today’s conversation. I just wanted to thank you both so much again for your time\, for the very valuable work that you’re doing\, and we just really [00:34:00] appreciate it. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Thank you. It’s been a great conversation. I’ve really appreciated it. \nILA EDGAR: Mm-hmm. Me too. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: Your questions were good ones. \nILA EDGAR: Great conversation. \nCHARLES FELTMAN: And it’s been really funny Ila doing this with you and kind of trading off answers and hearing what you have to say to these questions. It’s great! We’ve never done this before. \nILA EDGAR: You’re like\, “Oh gosh! She’s way too far off script. I’ve gotta get her back online.” \nCHARLES FELTMAN: No\, not at all. So yes\, no Ila and I have never been guests together on someone’s podcast. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, what a pleasure it is to host both of you for your first ever together podcast episode. If y’all are enjoying this beautiful conversation between Charles and Ila\, you can find more of their conversations together: please check out the Trust on Purpose Podcast to learn more about their wonderful work and all of the great conversations that they’re having in this space. \nSo thanks again. Until next time\, keep practicing. [00:35:00]\nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/trust-as-a-practice-with-charles-feltman-and-ila-edgar/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Trust-icon.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20250529T060000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20250529T170000
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250529T105630Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251105T195440Z
UID:10001600-1748498400-1748538000@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Plan with Purpose: The POP Framework for Effective Meetings
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” src=”“https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/episodes/17215762-plan-with-purpose-the-pop-framework-for-effective-meetings.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-17215762&player=small“” type=”“text/javascript“” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzIxNTc2MiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcyMTU3NjItcGxhbi13aXRoLXB1cnBvc2UtdGhlLXBvcC1mcmFtZXdvcmstZm9yLWVmZmVjdGl2ZS1tZWV0aW5ncy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3MjE1NzYyJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][image_with_animation image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 22) \nWhat if every meeting you planned had a clear purpose\, a focused outcome\, and left everyone energized instead of drained? Today\, we’ll show you a simple framework to make every gathering count. \nTired of meetings that go nowhere? \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica reveal how the POP (Purpose\, Outcome\, Process-plus People and Preparation) framework can transform your meetings from time-wasters into powerful\, purposeful gatherings. \nJessica walks you through each step of the POPPP approach\, shares real-world examples\, and explains why starting with purpose changes everything. \nWhether you’re planning a team meeting\, a project kickoff\, or just your next agenda item\, this episode will help you design meetings that matter. \nPlus\, get a downloadable resource to put the POPPP framework into action right away[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host Jessica is here as well. Today we’re going to be talking about planning our meetings with purpose\, and Jessica’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Jess\, how are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m doing pretty great. I’ve actually been spending today\, specifically\, I’ve been spending a fair amount of time just spring cleaning my files. \nI started doing it yesterday and then today I couldn’t get it off my mind\, so I went right back to it. This rarely happens because I don’t really enjoy moving files around and organizing them\, so it’s really been a big job\, but I’ve been finding files that I thought I no longer had access to. Turns out that I tend to make copies of files that I think I’m going to lose access to so that I’ll have future access to them. \nSo it’s actually been [00:01:00] really helpful to some of my current projects\, to be able to go back and look at something that I wrote a long time ago and incorporate some of that thinking into my current work. So even though the task is kind of mind numbing to me\, I’ve actually been able to find some nice surprises in the middle of it that. \nCORAL OWEN: So relatable. It’s so funny\, I was actually just talking with a friend this morning about organizing our homes and offices and other spaces\, and kind of the angle that we’re getting down the wormhole about is just. Laughing at how much activation energy it feels like it requires to move\, yes\, the needle on some of these things\, but also it brings so much energy\, like in the form that you’re just saying\, of finding inspiration from things that you’ve done in the past. \nBut I also find that too\, once I’ve kind of moved through that\, you know\, purging and reorganizing and sort of putting things in their proper place\, it brings me so much energy once it’s sorted. ‘Cause that like subconscious mental load I always personally seem to carry\, it seems to like dissipate and [00:02:00] free up some brain space after it’s all done. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Absolutely. I really appreciate the work that’s been put into making searches like in our file systems\, making search really useful\, and it still stresses me out to have everything\, you know\, it’s like a baseline way in the background stress\, but to know that I don’t actually know where everything is because. \nIt’s just this like dump of files in one spot\, and so I do feel more every time I’m deleting a file or moving a file\, I just feel a little bit lighter. \nCORAL OWEN: I am feeling inspired to go do this to my workspace on my desk now when we get finished recording\, oh man. \nWell\, we would love to hear what you all are learning\, what’s inspiring you\, and if you’d care to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click send us a message at the top of the description of this episode. \nAnd when you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number in the words “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on the computer\, you can instead email [00:02:00] us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. So we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you at this time. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All right\, let’s learn about planning our meetings with purpose. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing\, and also why did you choose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. I give this a very exciting and complex name: Purpose\,Process\, and Outcome. Probably as far from exciting and complex as you can get. \nThe name though is kind of deceiving because there’s another P: People. And sometimes preparation. So it’s kind of like our vowels\, AEIOU and sometimes Y. \nSo instead\, this is PPPO\, and sometimes P. So I’ve actually seen this called the POP framework\, so “be POP” or even the [00:04:00] P-O-P-P-P framework. Honestly\, I just use whichever P’s are relevant to what I’m applying it to. \nBut purpose is always relevant and it always comes first. So I actually have been using this practice regularly\, I think since about 2020. In fact\, I actually use it to plan entire programs\, meetings\, or I should say when it comes to programs. I use it to plan the framework of the program. I don’t use it to plan every single detail\, but meetings\, and then I even use it to plan individual meeting agenda items. \nI’ve been using it for years\, but I never really learned its origins. Someone just told me about it and I started using it and I’m like\, “Oh\, this is really powerful.” Like\, I’m gonna keep using this. So in preparation for this chat\, I did a little digging to find out where it came from. It was developed by Leslie Shoul Jaffe and Randall Alford\, and I’m really hoping I’m saying their names correct\, and it’s been iterated on for at [00:05:00] least over a decade. \nI found other similar versions as far back as the late 1980s\, but the main reason I wanted to share this practice is that it’s incredibly simple and powerful for ensuring the design of a project meeting\, and even individual agenda items are focused and set up to accomplish what you hoped they would. \nCORAL OWEN: This is really exciting and I don’t say that ironically\, like truly. I think this is gonna be a very impactful practice\, even though it sounds very straightforward and simplistic. But before we get into the practice\, Jessica\, can you briefly describe what each of the Ps are\, and the O as well? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. \nWell\, of course starting with purpose\, which is where I always start. Like I mentioned a little bit ago\, our work should always begin with purpose. Projects need purpose. Meetings need purpose. Agenda items need purpose\, emails and communications need purpose as well. \nSo taking a moment to pause and ask yourself [00:06:00] why you’re doing this project. Why you’re planning that meeting or adding that agenda item or why you’re writing an email is a huge step toward injecting both meaning and focus into your work. And then once you’re clear on the purpose\, and I think it’s really important to mention\, you need to be clear on that purpose\, then identify your outcomes. \nThe funny thing is that I’ve always outlined this as the third step\, so I call this Purpose Process Outcomes\, but in most models I find it as the second step\, which does make a lot of sense. So that’s how I’m gonna present it today. \nSo\, outcomes are the specific changes or actions you’re hoping to achieve when you’re clear on your purpose. Identify your outcomes as clearly as you can\, so it sets you up for designing the next step\, which is process. Process is about how you’ll go about meeting the outcomes and ultimately the purpose. What are the steps you’ll take? How are you gonna [00:07:00] design the conversation for that agenda item? How are you gonna design the meeting overall? \nHow will you design the project and how will you compose that email? That’s what process answers\, how the people part of the session is all about. Who needs to be in the room? Is it your entire team\, or is it only a few members of the team? Which perspectives are most critical to understand in order to meet the objectives and purpose? \nSome models put this step above Process. I often just incorporate it into my process rather than treat it separately. It just depends on how you wanna approach it. And then the last one is preparation. This was actually a new one to me. I had seen people added into this before\, but preparation was a new one. \nBut I think that depending on your situation\, it might be an important one to include and kind of like the people step. I usually incorporate this into my process versus treating it separately\, but [00:08:00] you might need to treat it separately. \nCORAL OWEN: I love how you can sort of plug and play these different pieces\, yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm-hmm. \nCORAL OWEN: Based on the situation you find yourself in. So\, as far as actually going about utilizing this lovely acronym\, Jess\, can you guide us through on how to implement this and\, and how you would go about leveraging it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, absolutely. I’m gonna actually use the example of a planning for a meeting\, but like I mentioned\, you know\, this can be used to plan individual communications and agenda items. Or to outline entire projects. \nI would recommend starting this practice with meetings. Just start planning all of your meetings using it. We’ll include a downloadable resource that you can use in the show notes as well. \nSo again\, of course\, we’re gonna start with purpose. First\, I identify the purpose of your meeting and consider including it on your meeting agenda. There is no better way to solidify a practice than making it transparent. To [00:09:00] identify the purpose of the meeting\, you might ask yourself\, what is the reason for gathering? What is the purpose of the conversation? You might have multiple purposes that’s completely acceptable. For example\, you might have “building trust” among the team\, along with the purpose of gaining consensus on the direction of a project. Just make sure you’re clear about the purpose or the purposes. \nSo next\, you’re gonna consider your purpose or purposes\, and you’re gonna ask yourself\, “By the end of this meeting\, I hope to have accomplished…\,” and then you’re gonna fill in that blank. If you have multiple purposes\, make sure to answer this question for each purpose. \nSo\, for example\, if one of your purposes was to gain consensus on the direction of a project\, your outcomes might include things like\, “Everyone understands the project purpose and possible directions. Everyone agrees on the direction for moving forward.” And\, “Everyone understands their role and responsibilities on the project.”[00:10:00]\nAlright\, let’s move on to Process. Once you’ve clearly identified your outcomes\, you can plan the appropriate process to match. So using our example\, if you need everyone to understand the project purpose\, to agree on the direction for moving forward and to understand their role\, then you might outline a process that includes things like\, “Starting your meeting with a presentation that outlines the details of the project and the different directions under consideration\,” and then\, “Designing a follow-up conversation to check in to make sure everyone understood those details.” \nThen you might plan an activity to obtain input on the different directions and a conversation or other activity to obtain consensus or prioritization\, you know\, nominal group voting or other ways of having that conversation. \nAnd then once a direction is chosen for the project\, then you might design a conversation where you all\, the entire team\, outlines the next steps to have everyone [00:11:00] volunteer for the task that best fits their role on the team. So this example\, I always like to say that whenever we give a practice\, we’re kind of giving you that exploded diagram\, you know\, like they do for like the Ikea\, putting together IKEA furniture\, whatever. You’ve got that exploded diagram that shows you all the pieces and parts\, and so we go through it step by step and it feels a lot more complex. But I gotta tell you\, I have gone through a Purpose Process Outcome\, or Purpose\, Outcome Process activity in as little as a few minutes depending on what I’m working on. \nSo we are giving you all the details\, but I would consider this a really quick two minute activity in a lot of instances. And then make sure as you’re going along\, make sure that you consider who needs to be at the meeting and what kinds of preparation might be needed as you consider your process. Or again\, like I said before\, you can separate out people and identify that separately from the preparation\, and you can [00:12:00] identify the preparation separately from everything as well. \nSo it’s a really simple process\, just what’s your purpose? What outcomes do you hope for? What process are you going to use to try to reach those outcomes? Who needs to be involved? What kinds of preparation might you need? \nCORAL OWEN: Again\, I just love how much you can dial in or switch around whatever pieces you need to suit the goals and situations you’re in. \nSo thanks so much\, Jessica\, for walking us through that. That was really\, really interesting and I can’t wait to try and implement this in my own work. \nAlright. Well that is it for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button to your podcast app and share it with a friend or a colleague. We will be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/plan-with-purpse/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Practicing-Connection_Podcast-graphic-2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250522
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250523
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250522T100027Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251119T170105Z
UID:10001599-1747872000-1747958399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Planning for Possibilities: A Perspective-Shifting Practice
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzE4ODUwMSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcxODg1MDEtcGxhbm5pbmctZm9yLXBvc3NpYmlsaXRpZXMtYS1wZXJzcGVjdGl2ZS1zaGlmdGluZy1wcmFjdGljZS5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3MTg4NTAxJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 21) \nWhat if you could quiet the ‘what-ifs’ and help your team face tough decisions with clarity and confidence?  \nToday\, we’re sharing a simple scenario planning practice that brings perspective to uncertainty-so you can plan for whatever comes next. \nCoral and Jessica introduce a practical scenario planning tool: Best\, Worst\, Most Likely Case. Learn how this perspective-shifting practice\, rooted in positive psychology\, can help you and your group break out of catastrophizing\, validate hopes and fears\, and make grounded plans for the future. \nJessica walks you through the steps\, shares tips for brainstorming\, and explains how focusing on what’s most likely can unify your team and boost decision-making. \nWhether you’re facing a big decision or just want to build resilience\, this episode will help you put uncertainty in perspective. \nResources to help you run a group brainstorm: \n“Brainwriting” \n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: [00:00:00] Hey everyone\, Coral here. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. My co-host\, Jessica\, is here today as well\, and today we’re going to be talking about scenario planning\, and Jessica’s gonna share a practice with us. Jessica\, how are you today?  \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hey\, Coral\, I’m doing well. I have my dog by my side and a comfortable chair. I’m pretty content right now. I just got one of those chairs where you can sit cross-legged on them\, and that’s pretty comfortable.  \nIt’s also been like a season of learning for me\, like the last month\, I don’t know\, the weather gets good\, for some reason in the spring I like to find classes to take online\, and then of course I often don’t finish them because I get busy in the summer. \nBut lately I’ve been digging into a full stack web development course just for fun. Yeah. We’ll see what comes next. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I’ve been actually doing a little bit of just reading for fun [00:01:00] recently\, finding a little bit more space just to unplug actually from the learning\, constant learning\, and a little bit more just\, you know\, book consumption just for the sheer pleasure of literature\, so that’s great.  \nYeah\, it’s been a few years since I’ve had just the brain bandwidth\, actually the space in life to do that. So it’s so nice just to relax with a good book in the afternoon for a few minutes and a few pages and just let my brain decompress. So it’s good stuff.  \nWe would love to hear what you all are learning\, what’s inspiring you\, and if you’d care to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click send us a message at the top of the description of this episode. \nAnd when you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number in the words “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on the computer\, you can instead email [00:02:00] us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. So we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you at this time. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All right\, so today we are going to be learning about scenario planning and kind of a perspective shifting practice. Jessica\, can you tell us a bit more about this practice that you’ll be sharing today\, and also why you chose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I really love this practice. I have used it a whole bunch of times\, both individually on my own to think through a process\, which I’ll explain in a second\, and then also with groups.  \nIt’s actually called\, I guess officially\, put it into perspective\, though when I’ve used it in scenario planning with groups\, I’ve just simply called it\, “best\, worst\, and most likely case.” I can’t actually recall the first time I learned of this practice\, ’cause I’ve been using it for a long time. \nBut I’m almost [00:03:00] positive I learned about this practice from some of my readings on character strengths. And if that’s the case\, it makes sense because when I dug in to try to remember where I got this practice from. Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center has been credited with this activity as it relates to the context of applying it to our personal wellbeing and reducing catastrophizing. \nAnd that’s actually a really great use of this activity\, and I’ve used it myself for this. When we start to spiral and catastrophize\, you can apply this by simply identifying the worst that could possibly happen\, and then imagining the best case scenario\, and then finally identifying what the most likely scenario might be\, what might actually occur. \nThen start planning for the most likely scenario\, because there’s a little bonus practice\, ’cause that’s not the full practice there. \nCORAL OWEN: Oh my gosh. I just relate to that so\, so much and know so many people that have a tendency to slide into that [00:04:00] “what ifs” spiral that you mentioned. I can’t wait to hear more about this because yeah\, just having like a parking break. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: That you can pull – yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I think it’s really easy to immediately assume that the worst is gonna happen.  \nCORAL OWEN: Right\, totally.  \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, so this practice\, the one that I’m gonna be sharing with you is the one that I’ve used with groups. It works really well for groups and teams for scenario planning\, which is just really how I’ve used it most often. \nI really like to use it when there is a potentially contentious decision or a difficult issue to address. What I’ve experienced is that in meetings\, this can have a unifying effect among the people that are in that meeting\, spending the time identifying that worst case scenario. That’s really about identifying fears surrounding the big decision or the difficult issue\, and that ends up validating how everyone is feeling about the situation. \nThen when you go [00:05:00] on to identify the best case scenario that affirms and aligns the group’s hopes about the situation. And then finally\, when you outline what’s most likely to happen\, given the information we have today\, the known knowns. That has a calming and unifying effect on the group\, and usually leaves them in a much better position to make a decision if a decision needs to be made. \nAt the very least\, it helps everyone face fears and make plans to mitigate possible pain points. I always recommend that you focus on planning for the most likely scenario\, but it doesn’t hurt to also ask which of the things that contribute to that worst case scenario is the next most likely to happen\, and then create a scenario plan for that as well. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds like a very thorough approach\, but also very effective\, awesome. Well\, thanks so much for introducing that practice\, Jessica. Can [00:06:00] you help us learn how to get started? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I’ll go through it step by step. One thing I’ll add before I share the steps is that depending on your team\, you may wanna use different brainstorming methods. \nBecause essentially as you go through each of the steps\, they’re massive brainstorming activities. And you know\, try to use a method that would resonate with your team versus the one you prefer. So for example\, I love a verbal popcorn style brainstorm out loud. Everyone’s saying their thoughts out loud. But a lot of people would prefer more of a think\, pair\, and share kind of process where you write down your ideas quietly on your own\, and then you might pair up with one other person and share\, and then maybe the two of you then share with the whole group. \nDon’t overthink it though. You can simply have a conversation with your team at a meeting as well. I’ll include a few links to other ways of running a brainstorm in the show notes\, just in case a new approach is just what you need.  \nNow let’s get to the steps of how to do this [00:07:00] practice. First\, start the conversation with what could or might go wrong. So you’re gonna work with your team to brainstorm and articulate everything that could go wrong. Use this brainstorm list then to articulate a worst case scenario. You may end up with more than one worst case scenario\, depending on the variables for your situation.  \nThen you’re gonna move on to what would it look like if everything goes right? \nHave your team define all of the hopes and possible moving pieces and parts that could go right. Use this brainstorm list to articulate a best case scenario. Or two\, depending on your variables.  \nAnd then finally\, you’re gonna brainstorm what might be the most likely scenario. Again\, you might end up with more than one\, most likely scenario\, depending on your situation. \nBut you’re gonna then use this list to begin to develop a plan for how you might address the most likely scenario. And then\, like I said before\, you [00:08:00] might want to take a look at the worst case scenario that you developed to see if it’s enough of a concern that you need to come up with any backup plans. \nAnd I would urge you and your team to always consider what’s in your control. So what can you and your team do right now\, and what’s within your ability to influence? Those are the two areas that you can actually take action in. Try not to catastrophize and think well\, “There’s this big\, looming shoe that’s going to drop\,” though you can’t control that shoe and whether the shoe drops or not. \nSo focus on what’s in your control and what’s within your ability to influence when you’re looking at planning for the most likely scenario.  \nCORAL OWEN: That’s wonderful advice. Thank you Jessica so much for sharing those steps with us today. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You’re very welcome. I have been there many times. Scenario planning is something that I’ve had to do quite a lot. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, I’m sure that that’s been such a big help for some of the teams that you’ve worked with\, and [00:09:00] hopefully it’ll help some teams that are listening in today.  \nWell\, that is it for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today’s episode\, you can click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new practice\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of One-Off and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/planning-for-possiibilities-a-perspective-shifting-practice/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250515
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250516
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CREATED:20250515T210617Z
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UID:10001592-1747267200-1747353599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Navigate Transitions with Both/And Thinking
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzEyNDk3OCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcxMjQ5NzgtbmF2aWdhdGUtdHJhbnNpdGlvbnMtd2l0aC1ib3RoLWFuZC10aGlua2luZy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE3MTI0OTc4JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 20) \nAre you feeling stuck in an either/or mindset during challenging transitions? Discover how both/and thinking can help you lead with flexibility and compassion. Join us as Coral guides us through a transformative practice that can bring more connection and possibility into your daily life. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, hosts Jessica and Coral explore the concept of both/and thinking—a mindset that allows for multiple truths to coexist. Coral shares a practical exercise to help listeners move beyond binary thinking\, especially during times of tension or uncertainty. Learn how to embrace complexity\, foster connection\, and find a better path forward with both/and thinking. Plus\, we invite you to share what’s inspiring you right now! \nLinks\n\n\n\nJoin our Private LinkedIn group\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’ll be exploring a mindset that can help you lead and navigate transitions with more flexibility and compassion\, “both/thinking\,” and Coral will be guiding us through a practice to help bring this to your day-to-day life. \nHi Coral. \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica\, I’m so looking forward to sharing today’s practice. How are things with you this week? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Pretty good. I’m still super energized from the Virtual Systems Thinking conference I attended last week. It was just really nice to listen in and learn new ways of thinking about how I approach my work. I’m usually the one creating the content\, it seems lately in my role. So it was kind of nice just to be a listener and to just let my mind expand. \nCORAL OWEN: That sounds like such a nice change of pace\, and such an interesting topic to delve into. [00:01:00] It’s been pretty low key here in Florida. A lot of summertime vibes\, mercury’s getting a little higher with the temperatures\, and it’s been really fun watching. We have the Monarch migration\, and I know that we’ve talked about gardening on previous podcasts. So we’ve got milkweed in our yard\, so there’s a bunch of\, you know\, like different chrysalis and caterpillars and just a lot of fun things to look at on a daily basis\, and just watch that progression. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Where do they migrate to and from? \nCORAL OWEN: Canada from Mexico. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, okay. And they stop in Florida on the way. \nCORAL OWEN: They do. Yep. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s awesome\, cool. \nCORAL OWEN: It’s pretty neat. So yeah\, it\, you know\, inspiration can be found in a number of different places clearly\, and we would love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners. So if you’d like to share what’s inspiring you\, you can click the\, “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the [00:02:00] link\, your text messaging app will open. \nYou’ll see a seven digit number and the words\, “Do not remove.” Just type your message after that and click send. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org instead. So let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Let’s learn more about the practice of both/and thinking. I’ve heard this term so much working at Extension. I have heard a lot of people say\, “Oh\, I think it’s both\, and this is a both/and kind of situation.” I used to hate this phrase\, I don’t anymore because I fully understand it now. But Coral\, can you tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCORAL OWEN: That’s so funny that you mentioned that Jess. ‘Cause I\, similarly\, I had heard it in passing conversation and be like\, “What? What are they talking about? And I finally learned the concept and no longer have that sort of relationship with it that it sounded like jargon\, right? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It sounds like jargon. [00:03:00] Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: Exactly. So if this is you\, if that’s the boat you’re in\, hang in with us and maybe we can come about a mindset shift for you as well. But anyhow\, yeah. Today’s practice is one that has helped me not only professionally but personally\, in really big ways and some pretty impactful seasons of life. \nAnd particularly ones that have moments or prolonged seasons even of tension or uncertainty. And again\, this is the\, we’re referencing both and thinking and/both. And thinking is simply the practice of making space for multiple truths or realities to exist at the same time. And it’s a mindset. That helps us move beyond the binary\, either/or thinking\, especially during challenging transitions\, when emotions and responsibilities and expectations tend to run pretty high. \nSo instead of saying\, “I have to choose between being compassionate or being efficient\,” a both/and [00:04:00] perspective of this might be\, “I can be compassionate and keep things moving forward\,” or\, “This change is really hard.” And it might open up new possibilities or opportunities. I chose this practice because during change\, it’s really common for us to feel stuck in this kind of either or space. \nBut when we give ourselves and others room for this complexity and this nuance\, kind of that gray space even\, of the in-between\, it can create more connection\, more possibility\, and usually results in a better path forward. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I really love this\, and one of the things that’s sparking for me is\, in some of the work that I’ve done before\, with helping people sort of develop a more complete picture of other people. That’s also\, I feel like both-end thinking can probably be applied to thinking about others as well. \nWe had this game we would play in some of our workshops called pickles. And it was basically about how a person [00:05:00] might really hate pickles. That doesn’t mean that you should look at them and say\, “You’re probably a really picky eater and you know\, you probably will only eat McDonald’s\,” or\, not that there’s anything wrong with that\, but\, “You probably are a very picky eater.” \nNo\, no\, no. Two things can be true. The person might hate pickles and also like kimchi\, right? So they’re both fermented products anyway\, so it was a way of like opening your mind up to be less judgmental as well. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that. I love that. So\, yeah\, let’s go ahead and dig into how do we even do this. So this short\, reflective practice is something that you can use when you notice yourself\, or if you’re leading a team\, noticing your team getting stuck in this. A kind of rigid thinking rut\, or maybe it’s a high stress situation or polarized conversations that you’re noticing are coming to pass. \nSo step one is\, like we just said\, you’re noticing this either/or language. And what you should do or could do is [00:06:00] pause and ask yourself\, “Am I framing the situation as a choice between two extremes?” Are there other strategies that you can use to help you notice or\, you know\, kind of looking out for keywords like always\, never\, should\, either\, or are these phrases or words showing up in the conversation once you’ve moved through this noticing phase. \nStep two is to ask a both/and question\, and we try reframing the scenario or the question or the conversation\, from the space of curiosity. What if both of these things are true? What other perspectives or values are at play? How might I honor and recognize both what’s hard and what’s possible? \nAnd then step three is to turn it into a phrase or a statement\, something along the lines of\, these are simply a few examples\, “I’m feeling [00:07:00] uncertain and I’m doing the best I can.” “This decision is urgent and we need to pause for clarity.” “I can be a strong leader and feel vulnerable right now.” \nYou can do this in a variety of different formats or ways\, depending on the space that you’re in. You might write it in a journal. You might share it in a team meeting if the scenario calls for it\, or just pause and reflect silently with yourself. And you know\, really I think understanding that the goal here is not to resolve the tension immediately. It’s really just to expand your awareness and recognition of what’s actually true\, and what might be possible when we stop trying to force a single answer. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, this is beautiful. It’s a great explanation of both-end thinking and it reminds me of just how constructive this is\, right when you might be feeling like you’re in a very difficult position. This is just [00:08:00] something that builds. \nCORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. And you know\, whether you’re leading your team or like me\, you know\, parenting a three-year-old toddler who has lots of opinions\, you know\, this can be highly\, highly relevant and just a game changer in navigating any number of seasons or scenarios. And really\, you know\, overall just leaning into the humanness of these complex scenarios that sometimes can feel so high stakes. \nIt just lets us settle and ground in a bit\, or a lot\, and just feel more at ease about the process\, and just recognizing and holding space for all of the things that are at hand. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. Oh\, wonderful. Thanks so much for that. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with [00:09:00] a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/navigate-transitions-with-both-and-thinking/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/qtq80-U2Gop2.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250508
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250509
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250508T205239Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250602T210545Z
UID:10001591-1746662400-1746748799@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Build Team Cohesion with 'Hippopotamus Days'
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzA5MjU5NCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcwOTI1OTQtYnVpbGQtdGVhbS1jb2hlc2lvbi13aXRoLWhpcHBvcG90YW11cy1kYXlzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTcwOTI1OTQlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 19) \nWhat if a single phrase could transform your team’s understanding and support for each other on tough days? Discover how “Hippopotamus Days” can build connection\, understanding\, and trust—one inside joke at a time. \nBuilding team cohesion isn’t just about big events or trust falls—it’s about the small moments of understanding that bring people together. In this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral and Jessica introduce the concept of “Hippopotamus Days\,” a playful\, team-created code word that signals when someone’s having an off day but still wants to be present. Learn how developing a shared language and group norms can foster empathy\, reduce misunderstandings\, and make your team stronger—even on the toughest days. Tune in for practical steps to create your own team phrase and see how humor and honesty can become powerful tools for connection. \nLinks\n\n\n\nJoin our Private LinkedIn group\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][00:00:00] CORAL OWEN: Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host Jessica is here today as well. Today we’ll be talking about building team cohesion with an outside the box practice called “Hippopotamus Days.” Jessica’s gonna be sharing that practice with us. Hey Jess. How are you today? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, Coral. I’m doing pretty good. I have to confess\, I can’t wait to get back to the book I’m reading. Of course I always enjoy hanging out on the podcast with you\, but I just started reading novels again\, and now I remember why my dad was always saying\, “Get your nose out of that book and go outside to play!” Because once I start a book that grabs my attention\, I don’t like to stop. \nCORAL OWEN: I totally get that. I was definitely the kid growing up where my folks would knock on my door at like 11:30 at night and I’d just have my nose buried in a book for like the last two hours. They’d be like\, “You need to go to bed.” So\, you know\, with the limited time I have these days as a mom to an almost 3-year-old\, and lots of life stuff\, I unfortunately don’t get to [00:01:00] dig into those books for the long periods of time that don’t exist right now. But looking forward to that season again soon\, hopefully. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Did you keep a flashlight nearby so that you could put the covers over your head and turn a flashlight on? \nCORAL OWEN: Oh\, I sure did. I sure did. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I mean\, that’s\, I could have been doing a lot worse things\, right. So – \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Absolutely. So I know that we’ve got a lot of readers in our listenership and you know\, if y’all are reading anything or coming across anything in your life\, we would love to hear about what is inspiring you or sparking different lines of trains of thought. \nSo don’t ever hesitate to share what’s inspiring you at the moment with us. And you can click the “Send us a text message” button at the top of this description of this episode. When you click that link\, your text messaging app will open. You’ll see a seven digit number\, the words “Do not remove.” Just drop your message in there and click send afterwards. \nIf you’re listening on the computer\, you can also just drop us an email to practicing connection@oneup.org. So hopefully\, you’re [00:02:00] feeling inspired and you can let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nCORAL OWEN: All right\, so let’s learn more about building team cohesion with “hippopotamus days.” I love the name of this practice\, Jessica. I can’t wait to learn more about it. Can you share more about this practice that you’ll be sharing and also why you chose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I am actually super excited to share this practice with you. As you know\, before we started recording\, you and I were actually talking that this episode was gonna be a completely different episode\, and then I told you about hippopotamus days\, and I’m like\, “I think I’d like to create a practice around this.” \nSo I call this practice Hippopotamus Day in honor of a group I was working with\, where their chosen code phrase to describe that they were\, actually it was to describe several things. It was to describe that they were having a bad day\, but that they’re okay. That they promised to be present\, but they may not be as communicative as usual\, they might be off camera. \nThis one phrase\, hippopotamus day\, [00:03:00] encapsulated a whole bunch of things. And so it was\, “I am having a hippopotamus day\,” is what people would share\, when and if they felt the need to share that. And the result was everyone immediately understood\, because we all had decided on that phrase at the beginning of our time together\, and we immediately understood that this person needed some space. And we also immediately understood that they were not checking out\, that they were there and present with us\, and that just because their camera was off or just because they were not maybe speaking up as much as usual\, they were still with us and they were listening. Because it was sort of like a social contract that we had all agreed on. \nSo at its core\, this is about a shared language that is internal to your team to describe something that bridges understanding. So did your coworker nod at you instead of smiling and saying\, hello? \nAre they not speaking up during a [00:04:00] meeting? Maybe they’re having a hippopotamus day. So without some sort of shared language\, we might assume our coworker is frustrated with us. In our minds\, we might try to recall the last several interactions we had\, to see if we can pinpoint why they seem so frustrated\, and we might even get frustrated in the process. \nSo shared language can help us build understanding and simplify the complexities of life. I almost said simplify the complexities of work life\, but actually it’s kind of also about simplifying the complexities of life\, right? We don’t leave the rest of our lives\, you know\, when we walk into our office. We are whole people\, right? \nSo for example\, the group I was working with that used the phrase\, “I’m having a hippopotamus day\,” they used it in a way that helped describe several things at once. But beyond simplifying complex concepts\, the shared language can also have the effect of building team cohesion. So I would even argue that using humor [00:05:00] in your language choices also helps. Like for example\, hippopotamus is a funny word to say\, and it’s funny to hear in relation to describing a bad day. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much and you know\, when we can bring an angle of humor or just lightheartedness to something that might otherwise be a bit of a downer or kind of a\, hmm\, you know\, interaction. I think that just helps bring the energy up and it just gives us a little bit of a reprieve. So awesome. Can you just tell us how to get started\, like\, where would we even start to begin creating something like a hippopotamus day for our own teams? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it’s a pretty easy practice\, but it will take a bit of discussion with your team\, right. Just instituting a top-down hippopotamus day decree is probably not going to work very well\, right? ‘Cause this is about a shared language. So I recommend that you gain group consensus on the language that you [00:06:00] choose\, and I also recommend that your team creates their version of a hippopotamus day\, while you’re creating group agreements or team norms\, if you don’t already have them. If you already have them\, just append it with a hippopotamus day. So group agreements\, in case you don’t have them\, they are essentially a set of guidelines that your team has agreed to for how you’ll show up together as a team and for how you’ll collaborate together. \nSo for this particular practice\, let’s focus on creating your team’s own version of a hippopotamus day\, So\, first\, during a team meeting\, set an agenda item to discuss team communication. You could have it as a simple item on your agenda that just says\, “Team communication discussion.” \nNumber two\, the concept of a hippopotamus day. Basically that it is a shorthand communication to describe that a person is having an off day\, to build understanding among the team. You might ask your team as you’re [00:07:00] trying to come up with what your own version of hippopotamus\, ask them what does that mean for us? If someone is having an off day\, do we want to define it as that they need space? Or do we want to define it as they need support? Can your team member who’s having this off day show up with their camera off\, if you happen to be in a remote situation? What are the guidelines around what your hippopotamus day means to your team. \nThen step three\, choose your team language to describe the group norm. You can use hippopotamus day if you like. I have also heard\, Capuchin Monkey Day. My friend and I use platypus as our word\, and I’ve even heard Whirly Gig. So I recommend making this phrase a little quirky and letting your team have fun with it. \nAnd then the last step is to use the word [00:08:00] or phrase. If you’re the leader\, model it. Ask team members\, “Is this a hippopotamus day?” And then when they say yes\, if they say yes\, say\, “Okay\, I respect that\,” and respect what your team developed as their definition of hippopotamus day. \nSo while you’re getting used to it\, as the leader\, you might need to start to use it yourself. So what I’ve seen happen once a group grabs onto the concept and starts using it\, I’ve seen that it builds togetherness and understanding when someone is feeling off\, and that is really powerful. \nCORAL OWEN: I just love this\, and I could even see an evolution for teams if they just love this and run with it\, to even have\, you know\, perhaps a couple different flavors. They could choose from maybe like a “Domingo day” if they’re feeling like\, you know\, just extra with it. But yeah\, what a fun practice for something that can sometimes be a little bit difficult\, when we’re showing up as that whole person with a whole suite of emotions. So thanks [00:09:00] for sharing that\, Jess. Really appreciate it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And I love what you just said with the flamingo day. Can you imagine\, right\, if someone mentions they’re having a hippopotamus day and someone else is like\, “You know what? That’s okay. I’m having a flamingo day. I got you.” Like\, I can help you out. Like I can bring up the energy right now\, and not force you to bring up your energy. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah\, absolutely. Awesome. That’s about it for this episode\, but thanks again Jess\, for such a fun conversation\, and thank you all for joining us. \nIf you enjoyed this episode or if you’re even thinking about implementing it with your team\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague\, and we will be back next week with a new practice. \nUntil then. Keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/build-team-cohesion-with-hippopotamus-days/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/hippo-3644217_1280.jpg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250501
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250502
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250501T184401Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250508T185806Z
UID:10001586-1746057600-1746143999@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Temperature Checks for Change: Staying Grounded Through Uncertainty
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzA0Nzk4MSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcwNDc5ODEtdGVtcGVyYXR1cmUtY2hlY2tzLWZvci1jaGFuZ2Utc3RheWluZy1ncm91bmRlZC10aHJvdWdoLXVuY2VydGFpbnR5LmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTcwNDc5ODElMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 18) \nWhen change is the only constant\, how do you keep yourself – and your team – grounded and connected? In this episode\, we explore simple\, powerful check-in practices that help leaders and teams navigate uncertainty with empathy\, awareness\, and trust. \nTransitions and uncertainty are part of every leader’s journey. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral introduces “Temperature Checks for Change\,” a practical two-part check-in routine designed to help you stay present and responsive – both as a leader and as a team. \nDiscover how quick self-reflection and intentional team check-ins can build trust\, foster alignment\, and create space for authentic connection\, even when answers are unclear. \nWhether you’re leading through a big transition or just facing everyday challenges\, these tools will help you and your team feel seen\, supported\, and ready for what’s next. \nLinks\n\n\n\nJoin our Private LinkedIn group\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and my co-host Coral is here as well. We’ll be talking about check-ins\, check-ins for yourself and your team while navigating through transition or uncertainty. Hey\, Coral\, how are you? \nCORAL OWEN: Hey Jessica. I’m great. Thank you. We’ve been enjoying a touch of summer weather here in Florida and just been getting some time at the beach and the water\, as well\, which also just the way that I’m wired helps me feel grounded and a little bit more present. So that’s always a nice\, refreshing kind of reconnect. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I mean that makes sense. I feel like there’s lots and lots of research out there about nature and how it can make us feel that way and\, frankly\, that sounds wonderful. I think I’ll copy you and head out to Lake Michigan the first time. It’s warm enough\, we are not experiencing summer weather here right now\, but that’s okay. \nIt’ll be warm enough soon and while it’s not the ocean\, but it almost sounds the same\, and there’s a beach nearby where I live. So [00:01:00] I think the tourism marketers like to call the Great Lakes the “Third Coast\,” which I don’t think has caught on with everyone. Except for those of us who live near it. \nI think they say something like\, I don’t remember how many\, it’s like over 1100 or 1200 miles of coastline. \nCORAL OWEN: Whoa. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Like the Great Lakes are huge. \nCORAL OWEN: I had no idea. That’s also the first time I’ve heard the phrase\, the Third Coast\, and I lived up that way for several years. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF:Yeah. Might be a newer thing\, I don’t know. But for me\, the sound of the water\, the breeze\, the open sky and the soft sand are what I go for when I’m looking for beach time. And I feel pretty lucky that even though I’m\, you know\, in the middle of the country\, I do have a taste of that kind of life. Everything but the water itself\, since I can’t swim. \nCORAL OWEN: No\, you’re so right. I just\, Lake Michigan is so pretty. That area is just so lovely. And you know\, I just\, I think it’s so important regardless of how you’re [00:02:00] interfacing with nature\, to just get that touch point to reconnect and just get grounded and just kind of\, you know\, give yourself some breathing space. \nIt’s so important and\, I’m glad that you’ve got that opportunity up that way too. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: We’d love to hear what lake is inspiring you or what ocean is inspiring you as well. Or anything that’s inspiring you! So please share by clicking the send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words “do not remove.” \nType your message after that and click send. If you are listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org. So let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nAlright\, let’s learn more about this practice. Coral\, please tell us a little bit more about the practice you’re going to be sharing and why you chose it. \nCORAL OWEN: Awesome. Thanks Jess. So this one today is a catchphrase that I came up with: “temperature checks for change.” You can call [00:03:00] it whatever you like though. But you know\, really down to the nuts and bolts\, it’s designed as a simple and intentional way to check in with yourself as a leader\, but also to get a read on how your team is doing. \nSo when we’re navigating change\, we don’t always have all of the answers. But we can build awareness and empathy and responsiveness by pausing. To check where we’re at\, where our team is at as well. And you know\, really at the core of these kinds of moments\, they help us stay human and they also help our teams feel seen. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And I also happen to think that catchphrase as you come up with yourself is. a good way to name all these activities\, right? Because some of the activities that we practice don’t have a name\, so it’s actually kind of fun that we get to give them one. So\, walk us through the “temperature checks for change.” \nCORAL OWEN: Sure thing. So this practice\, it has two parts. The first one is for leaders\, and the second one is for teams. And you can use them together or separately depending on the scenario and what’s needed\, in that case. And also this first part may sound a little familiar if you listen to last week’s episode [00:04:00] on self check-in. It does build on last week’s practice that you introduced Jess\, the leadership alignment reflection. So part one is this self check-in and it’s for you as a leader if you are leading teams. \nTake five minutes or so before\, after a meeting or perhaps at the start of your day. It really can happen anywhere that you just need this little check-in nugget and you can ask yourself any of the following questions\, and just reflect on how am I feeling right now\, mentally\, emotionally\, physically\, what’s weighing on me. How do I want to show up today\, or even in this conversation? \nAnd then the final thing to consider in this first phase is what is one small thing that I can do to support my team or myself today? And if you want to keep this a little bit more\, you know\, nuts and bolts or quantitative\, you can even give yourself a quick score from one to five in areas such as energy\, clarity\, confidence\, not necessarily as a judgment\, but just rather as a\, you know\, [00:05:00] data gathering\, to give yourself some quick insight if that’s helpful for you. \nSo the second part is your team check-in. Of course you can do this in any instance. If you don’t need to do a self check-in\, you can just dive right into this space if you need to. And this is for you steering something such as a team meeting\, especially if you have some things that have felt uncertain or even tense. \nThere’s a couple formats\, and a couple actually didn’t make this list\, but maybe we can talk about those in a later Practicast. But two easy formats for consideration. The first one is called “fist to five\,” and you can ask a question such as\, how supported do you feel right now? \nOr even\, how aligned do you feel with what we’re working on? And then it’s just a quick hit. You can have everyone show a number. With their hand\, a fist for zero\, five for completely aligned\, and then\, you know\, 1\, 2\, 3\, 4\, all the way up the line from there. And if you’d like to do a follow up\, you can invite anyone to share a quick sentence about their [00:06:00] number and\, you know\, unpack anything along those lines. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: If you don’t mind\, Coral\, I’ll just add a really quick thing. Groups don’t have to do it this way\, but some groups have said\, if the decision you’re making is important enough that if someone is at a fist for zero\, then that’s a deal breaker\, and it’s time to have a conversation like\, how can we get that to a one or a two or a three? \nAnd\, if it’s a five\, then that is\, you know\, obviously a complete alignment. But\, that also kind of gives your team a major voice in like how\, and it really kind of builds that consensus and that culture of being able to come to consensus together. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. Thanks for that additional insight\, Jess. So the second format that you could leverage perhaps is something called “one word round.” And you can ask\, “What’s one word that describes how you’re feeling today?É And everyone\, whoever would like to participate\, can share that in the chat if you’re in a virtual meeting or even aloud if you’re together in person. [00:07:00] And you don’t need to necessarily respond or fix anything right in that moment\, but it just gives people a chance to be heard and really do a pulse checker\, a temperature check\, right\, of how everybody’s doing. And just that quick synopsis. \nYou may find some trends or some\, you know\, consistencies across your team\, or maybe there’s a lot of variety where folks are at\, but it’s just that quick check-in to just see where everyone’s at. \nAnd then just to bring everything home\, we certainly want to do a little bit of follow-up\, and reflection after you have one or both of those practices. And so after the check-in\, you want to make sure that you take a moment to reflect either with yourself or even with your team to unpack anything if the time feels right\, you know\, are there patterns emerging\, like we just mentioned. \nDoes someone need a follow-up? Perhaps on a one-to-one\, or could you share something\, some feedback that you’re hearing to show that it really does matter and that you’re taking that into account while navigating these times of [00:08:00] transition or change and really coming back to the foundation of things. \nThese moments are so important. They do take a little bit of time and additional awareness and intentionality\, but the great opportunity here is that it helps build trust within your collaborative team\, and it allows everyone to feel just a little bit more grounded\, even if that ground underneath our feet is shifting a little bit. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Mm. I love that. And I’m always a huge fan of one-on-one meetings\, especially when things aren’t\, you know\, things are feeling a little bit off maybe. So thanks so much for guiding us through that. \nCORAL OWEN: Absolutely. And you know\, I think really the key here\, it’s just\, as with any practice\, it’s not about nailing this perfectly\, right Jessica\, it’s just about staying present with yourself\, with your people\, and noticing what’s happening within you and around you best as you can\, and taking all of that into consideration day by day. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I feel like you just [00:09:00] described what life is about! All right. That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. \nIf you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/temperature-checks-for-change-staying-grounded-through-uncertainty/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/qtq80-kFeWvf.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250424
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250425
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250424T180722Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250502T181740Z
UID:10001583-1745452800-1745539199@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Leading Through Change: How to Stay Aligned and Present
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNzAwODgzNyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTcwMDg4MzctbGVhZGluZy10aHJvdWdoLWNoYW5nZS1ob3ctdG8tc3RheS1hbGlnbmVkLWFuZC1wcmVzZW50LmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTcwMDg4MzclMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 17) \nAre you leading your team the way you truly want to? Or just reacting to the pressures of the moment?  \nDiscover how a simple reflection can help you align your intentions with your actions and become the emotionally intelligent leader your team needs. \nHow we show up as leaders shapes our team’s experience\, trust\, and success. \nIn this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast\, Coral and Jessica explore the power of alignment and presence in leadership. Jessica introduces the “Leadership Alignment Reflection\,” a practical\, step-by-step exercise that helps you examine how you’re currently leading versus how you aspire to lead. \nLearn how regular reflection can boost your self-awareness\, close the gap between intention and action\, and help you lead with greater impact. \nTune in for actionable insights and a practice you can start using right now! \nLinks\n\n\n\nThe Art of Coaching Teams\, by Elena Aguilar\nPracticing Connection worksheets\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Coral Owen: [00:00:00] Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host Jessica is here today as well. We’re going to be talking about how to remain aligned and present while leading teams through change\, and Jessica’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Jess\, how are you today? \nJessica Beckendorf: I’m doing pretty good. I have finally had some nice weather and I’ve been getting out whenever I can and preparing my yard for summer\, so getting the grill ready and even grilling\, preparing my patio\, you know\, planning some new planting beds. And I looked over at the rock picking job that I started last year and I started to plan out how and when I’m going to finish picking all those rocks out of that landscape bed. \nCoral Owen: That is just the best. Spring is one of my favorite times of year as well\, and I know that I am in Florida\, so our seasons are really just hot as heck and then not as hot. But my son\, Kai\, recently had a gardening day at his [00:01:00] preschool and poor kid\, everybody showed up with like marigolds and tomatoes and you know\, fun little\, I’m gonna air quotes here\, like\, “normal plants\,” and he got stuck with a small papaya tree\, and a beach sand bucket from our compost pile. \nJessica Beckendorf: Well\, I mean\, as someone with a tomato allergy who lives in a northern climate and can’t grow a papaya tree\, I think papayas sound way more interesting. And I’m pretty sure that they’re all going to be so excited to have more than just tomatoes to eat and marigolds to look at when everything is fully grown. So I think you did well\, with your compost pile. \nCoral Owen: That’s very generous of you (both laugh). Oh boy. Well\, we would love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners\, so please share what’s inspiring you by clicking on the Send us a text message button at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open\, and then you’re gonna see a seven digit number in the words “Do not remove.” \nType your message after that and click send. Don’t [00:02:00] remove that number. We won’t receive your message. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t unfortunately text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. And if you’re listening on the computer\, you can just email us at practicing connection@oneop.org. \nSo let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nCoral Owen: All right. Let’s learn more about leading through change and how to stay aligned and present through the process. Jess\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’re going to be sharing today and why you chose it? \nJessica Beckendorf: Yeah\, absolutely. Today I’m sharing what I’m calling the Leadership Alignment Reflection. I got this from a combination of sources\, but primarily from a book I reference frequently called The Art of Coaching Teams\, by Elena Aguilar. The Leadership Alignment Reflection is a simple way to check in with yourself as a leader and see if you’re showing up the way you really want to for your team. \nAnd I chose [00:03:00] this activity because how a leader shows up in spaces with their team is really important\, especially during times of change. Your team depends on you to set the standard\, including the emotional standard. They look to you for cues. It can actually be quite difficult when a meeting is tense\, for example\, to regulate ourselves in a way that honors our values or how we wanna show up for others. And also to be present in a way that’s cognizant of our position as the leader in the room. So\, take a few moments before a meeting to check in with how you wanna show up for your team. Then checking in with yourself after the meeting to reflect on how it went. \nIt’s a really great way to start aligning our actions with how we wanna show up. Especially when there are changes occurring within the organization\, and you know\, Coral\, both the big and small changes\, this can really affect both. \nCoral Owen: Absolutely. So Jess\, can you get us started and just [00:04:00] walk us through the steps of how to do that? \nYeah\, there are a lot of different ways to implement your own leadership alignment reflection. I’m just providing one way\, but you can change up the questions to suit your situation. So first\, before a meeting\, write out your responses to the following questions: “How do I want to show up in this meeting? If I’m showing up the way I want to\, what will it look like and sound like?” And\, “How do I want to feel during and after this meeting?” \nAnd then after the meeting\, write your responses to the following: “How do I think I showed up\, and what was the evidence of that?” How do I feel now?” And\, “How did I respond in the tough moments? \nNow I specifically said you should write out your responses\, but I’m going to go a step further and add that you may want to consider keeping these notes in a place where you can [00:05:00] refer to them and learn from them. Keep them as long as they serve you\, and get rid of them when they stop serving you. \nCoral Owen: Well\, that sure seems simple enough\, and I look forward to trying this in the near future. So thanks for guiding us through. \nJessica Beckendorf: Yeah\, you’re so welcome. And we will have a downloadable version of those questions that are linked in the show notes\, so you can just download them and use those as your notes. \nCoral Owen: Good deal. Alright\, well that is it for today’s episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new practice\, so stay tuned. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/leading-through-change-how-to-stay-aligned-and-present/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/qtq80-I8LwsX.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250417
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250418
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250417T150048Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260309T200010Z
UID:10001582-1744848000-1744934399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Adventure-Ready: Strengthening Military Families Through Teen Camps
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjk3ODA4MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY5NzgwODMtYWR2ZW50dXJlLXJlYWR5LXN0cmVuZ3RoZW5pbmctbWlsaXRhcnktZmFtaWxpZXMtdGhyb3VnaC10ZWVuLWNhbXBzLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTY5NzgwODMlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 16) \nLooking for a way to empower military families while fostering resilience and connection?  \nJoin us as we explore the transformative Military Teen Adventure Camps\, where service member parents and teens bond through adrenaline-pumping activities like ziplining\, whitewater rafting\, and rock climbing.  \nDiscover how these camps are creating lifelong memories and strengthening family ties. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, host Jessica Beckendorf and special co-host Kristen Jowers welcome Dr. Kerri Ashurst and Tyrone Atkinson from the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service to discuss Military Teen Adventure Camps. \nThese camps provide military families with unique opportunities to strengthen parent-teen relationships through thrilling outdoor activities like whitewater rafting\, mountain biking\, and ziplining. \nLearn how these adventure-based programs build resilience\, improve communication\, and foster teamwork among military families. \nMore Information on the Camps\nOcoee Whitewater Rafting and Outdoor Quest \nPrimary Activities (i.e. camping\, hiking\, kayaking\, etc.): whitewater rafting\, tubing\, rock climbing\, lake activities \nACE Whitewater Rafting\, Climbing\, Rappelling and Outdoor Adventure \nPrimary Activities (i.e. camping\, hiking\, kayaking\, etc.): Whitewater Paddling\, mountain biking\, zipline and canopy tour \nNote – families from any state and branch are welcome to register\, including active duty\, reserve\, guard\, retiree families. \nLinks\n\n\n\nKentucky Military Teen Adventure Camps (MTAC)\nKentucky MTAC Facebook group\nUniversity of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf\, and I’m so excited today to be welcoming our special guests and a guest co-host Kristin Jowers\, whose voice you might recognize from our other wonderful collaboration on grief and loss\, and in our annual reflection episode\, just this past December. Welcome back to Practicing Connection\, Kristin. Would you mind introducing yourself a little bit more? \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Thanks Jessica for having me back on the pod. I am Kristin Jowers and I’m an extension specialist at the University of Kentucky Family and Consumer Sciences Extension. I joined the OneOp team\, in the role of program coordinator\, in 2023. Although I have been tuning into the Military Families Learning Network webinars since 2016. And I’m a longtime listener of this podcast\, so it is a joy to be co-hosting with you [00:01:00] today\, Jessica\, and I’m really excited because I have two colleagues from the University of Kentucky joining us as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, there are three. I found out that you are the Kentucky Wildcats. There are three of you in the house. I am the only Badger. But I feel like Badgers and Wildcats\, that would be a pretty good matchup\, don’t you think? Like\, badgers are pretty vicious. And so are Wildcats. Alright\, so\, Dr. Kerri Ashurst is a Senior Extension Specialist for Family and Relationship Development. She serves as director for a variety of grants focusing on outreach and support to military families\, and for Kentucky’s children\, Youth and Families at Risk joint grant with Kentucky State University\, focusing on life skills for Kentucky youth. Kerri also serves as a federal coach for USDA\, for the Children\, Youth and Families at Risk Professional Development and Technical Assistance Center. \nShe has a background in marriage and family therapy\, and a PhD in family [00:02:00] science. She began her work with military families in 2008\, so she’s been doing this a little while. Dr. Ashurst’s focus is building statewide and national capacity for reaching underserved children\, youth\, families\, and communities. She has worked in family and consumer science’s extension at the University of Kentucky since 1999\, and enjoys developing programs for the families throughout the lifespan and supporting service providers all over the country who provide family focused programs. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Also joining us today is Tyrone Atkinson\, Extension Specialist for Family and Consumer Sciences Extension. He holds a Master of Science in Community and Leadership Development and a Bachelor of Science degree in Family and Consumer Sciences from the University of Kentucky. He began his work with military families in 2009. \nHis main role is to enhance family life and wellbeing [00:03:00] through high adventure camps that generate support networks for military families and lifelong bonding experiences. His focus is helping families create and strengthen bonds that exist within the family structure\, and equipping them with the skills to nurture and expand those bonds. Being a part of the University of Kentucky Extension within Family and Consumer Sciences since 2007\, Tyrone enjoys community outreach and being able to facilitate face-to-face programming with various audiences that build strong families. Hi Kerri. Hi Tyrone. It seems like just yesterday we were together in Louisville at the Kentucky State Extension Conference. Thank you both so much for joining us on Practicing Connection. \nKERRI ASHURST: Thank you. We appreciate you having us along with you. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: Thanks for having us\, it’s great to be with you and see you again. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Yes\, we’re so excited [00:04:00] to chat with you both today\, more about the Military Teen Adventure Camps. And so to begin\, we’d love to hear what inspired the creation of Military Teen Adventure Camps and how they have evolved since their inception. \nKERRI ASHURST: I was a camper for life\, as a child\, my dad actually worked in 4-H and so from a very young age\, I started going to 4-H Camp and loved it and spent a lot of time outdoors with my dad as a kiddo. And\, it was just always where I found a lot of peace\, a lot of joy\, and definitely lots of great connection and fun memories with my family and with my father\, specifically. \nAnd so when I first started working with military family programming many years ago\, I was very blessed to receive some funding that focused on military camps for the family. And when we first started\, we actually had\, gosh\, I think the youngest we ever had at one of our camps was three weeks old\, and the oldest we had was 74 years old. And we had everything in [00:05:00] between. \nBut one of the things we kept hearing over and over the first couple of years of doing those military family camps is how much the parents wanted time with their teenagers. And that they just didn’t have much of that\, that they had missed a lot of their lives from deployments and other things\, and that they really wanted that ability to be able to have some one-on-one time with their teenage children. \nAnd so that’s kind of where this was born. The idea for it came out of some of those pieces we are getting from families that came to different programs we are doing. And then also a lot of military parents telling us\, you know\, “We’ve moved a lot\, we’re in new places. Sometimes it’s a little scary and overwhelming to send our kids off to a camp alone\, or at least at first.” \nAnd that we even saw this as a possible way to be able to help build some connections too with things like having them start into some of our programs and then be able to go on into a 4-H camp or different things as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. I really aspire to be a 74-year-old kid! [00:06:00] So what are the primary goals of the military team and adventure camps\, and how do adventure activities facilitate these objectives? \nTYRONE ATKINSON: That’s good. We\, first of all\, M-TAC\, I’ll say M-TAC just that’s our shortened abbreviation for Military Teen Adventure Camp. So\, M-TAC\, we have a host of things that we try to provide for families and our goals in reaching the teens and the parent service members or guardians together. One of those is increasing informal support networks. \nOur systems for military families to provide safety and a welcoming environment. We want them to have healthy introductions to outdoor programming. We do come across a lot of families with youth who have never been to camp before. And unlike Kerri’s experience where she grew up going to camps\, I was a kid who did not go to camps. \nI grew up in a very urban city in Kentucky\, and I had very bad experiences camping early in my childhood. So it kind of turned me off. And I was one of those people that wanted to be a mama and [00:07:00] daddy’s boy\, so I didn’t want to leave them for a week at a time. They weren’t gonna get rid of me. \nSo one of the things we do is focus on helping to have positive\, initial interactions with outdoor programming for those who have never been outside or never have done any nature programming\, and especially staying overnight. We also seek to increase youth awareness\, the importance of working with others and teamwork\, communication and cause and effect relationships between their actions\, and their consequences to increase responsible citizenship. So we do hint and hit at a lot of the 4-H components\, which are centered in just building young people up\, helping them to become leaders in their communities\, helping them to take ownership of their futures and of their own leadership. \nAnd just building that resiliency. And just learning how to adapt to change. Kerri alluded to earlier\, our camp started with a lot of families experiencing deployments that had never operated as a military family. So a lot of guard and reserve [00:08:00] families that did not have this ongoing military lifestyle. \nSo that is\, you know\, as deployments ramped up over 10 – 15 years ago\, families were being suddenly activated or having to endure this life that they really hadn’t been used to. So teaching a lot of young people\, and we really do believe military youth get it well\, as they start to learn to adapt to all kinds of changes. \nSo we do that at camp in helping them to adapt\, and learn resiliency. So those are some of the things. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: You know\, exposing people to positive experiences in nature really is a great way to teach adaptation. I mean\, I remember\, you know\, I was a military kid\, I grew up in large cities and I remember constantly so many times my dad saying to me\, “Get your nose outta that book and go play outside.” \nBut I was like\, “But there are ticks outside. Like there are\, there are snakes outside!” I did learn to be very adaptable\, and I think a lot of military kids end up being adaptable through some of their other [00:09:00] experiences. But I think what you’re describing is just a really well-rounded way of teaching things like adaptability. \nKERRI ASHURST: Yes. And you know what\, we use the line challenge by choice. So we’re doing lots of fun things outdoors and introducing people to new things that might be a bit out of their comfort zone. And we’re encouraging them to try something new that is a little bit scary or new\, but it’s all challenged by choice as well. \nAnd so I think that’s a really great part of a lot of this is\, people can say\, you know\, “Here’s my limit. But we’ve also had some really cool experiences.” I always bring up zip line when it comes to this kind of thing. We’ve had some kids who have gotten up there to do a zip line\, and it’s\, you know\, it’s what they wanna do more than anything else at the whole camp. \nBut then they get there and they see it and they feel overwhelmed. It’s very scary. But then once they finally release and let go\, and they do it\, they say it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever done. So a lot of that challenge by choice with experiential education can be incredible\, to push you out [00:10:00] of your comfort zone a little bit in a lot of good ways. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Yes\, Kerri\, I love hearing about their experience coming up upon a big challenge and then sometimes making the choice for themselves that they don’t wanna do it\, and then other times kind of pushing through and still experiencing something that they maybe had some fear. \nI’m curious what other activities and what other adventure happens at these camps. Are there other kinds of adventures happening? \nTYRONE ATKINSON: We do a whole host of fun things that we just love to do. And I have a lot of personal favorites. Especially some of the programs that we’ve done that Kerri already said\, zip lining\, which is a very big activity. We have mountain biking\, we’ve done mountain biking\, we’ve done rock climbing. \nEven\, we’ve done winter camps in the past where we’ve had skiing and snow tubing camps. We’ve done whitewater rafting\, which is one of my favorites. Canoeing\, whitewater canoeing and regular canoeing\, which are two different things that I didn’t know because [00:11:00] of course not going to camp. \nI learned that very\, very\, shortly after I got involved with M-TAC\, that whitewater canoeing and regular canoeing are two different activities. But we do a lot of just team building. And it depends on the place where we’re actually hosting camp\, the layout\, the demographic of where that camp may be. \nWe kind of rely on the outdoor nature of what we’re doing there. We do a lot of hiking. We do a lot of\, you know\, just finding our space in nature and just game times\, where we’re learning to do small group games\, and build relationships. But we’re also doing the fun things that you would do at a camp when you’re camping with your family. \nWe do ultimate Frisbee. We grill out and we have hot dogs together\, and we just spend time as a family\, and really the most enjoyable part of it\, and even in our data from youth and parents alike\, is spending time together no matter what the activity is. Just being together and bonding. \nThat is the most fun thing that we get to do at every camp. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: It does sound like a lot of fun. [00:12:00] Tyrone\, are the camps only in Kentucky or are they happening in other states as well? \nKERRI ASHURST: We have done camps in six states through the years using this parent teen model. So we’ve been in several different places. And one great thing about that\, Kristen\, is that we’ve been able to use it as a tool while the families are having fun\, to also be able to teach a little bit about where we are. So if we’re in a national forest area or if we’re at a retreat center area\, on a specific lake or in Mammoth Cave\, Kentucky\, for example\, we can use that as a little bit of an educational piece at the same time. The Red River Gorge and the amazing geology there\, you know\, and be able to work that into some of the fun things that they’re doing as they’re out there canoeing and doing lake activities and various things. \n  \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: From what you’re describing\, I can imagine that not only is being outdoors and doing these adventures a lot of fun\, but there’s lots of other benefits. And I think\, Tyrone\, you started to talk a little bit about some of those benefits\, but could you maybe share more about the benefits that are [00:13:00] beyond having fun and spending time together? \nKERRI ASHURST: Sure. Certainly one of those things is just that parent-child relationship\, that when you look at the adolescent development literature\, it’s just a really pivotal time with changes that are happening with youth and with negotiation that need to happen with our parenting. I have one myself at home. I have a teenager at home at the moment. \nAnd\, you know\, being able to make some of those changes and shift. Some of it takes time. Some of it takes the ability to be able to sit down and spend some time together. And I think one thing that really happens at our camps very naturally is when you get there\, you’re in a place that may be in the middle of nowhere and phones don’t necessarily work or don’t work well. \nSo it forces a lot of us to unplug\, and just be more present. And it’s really kind of amazing those of us who have staffed these camps through the years to get to watch what can unfold in just four days. With me being trained as a therapist\, I was often trained in the idea that things kind of take time. \nBut [00:14:00] I’ve realized through these camps that four days can really be magical. And watching the youth and their parents put these phones down and doing things together\, communicating\, trying to problem solve together and meet other youth and other parents that are in similar experiences with them\, can really\, really open up a lot of doors for renegotiating that parenting relationship. \nAnd then along with that\, there’s a lot of mental health pieces too that seem to come along with it. First of all\, just simply being outdoors. I don’t know about any of you\, but I know I just kind of feel a little bit different. I feel a little bit more engaged in the present when I’m outside and I am noticing things. Maybe it’s heightened senses\, I don’t know. But I’m noticing things that I might not otherwise notice\, and I don’t feel like I have on blinders as much with a lot of the things I’m doing in my everyday life. And so there’s some mental health pieces involved in that. And we’ve been able to actually\, now that we’ve been doing this a lot of years\, been able [00:15:00] to look at some things that even have to do with depression and anxiety\, and self-efficacy. \nAnd just\, being able to talk with friends\, understand people\, trust\, some of those kinds of things that we’ve been able to really sit down and talk. Sometimes it’s non-formal evaluations. Sometimes it’s been more formal surveys and things\, but being able to look at what the youths\, they get out of this\, and then likewise the adults. \nAnd even looking at six months past the camps and what the parents have said to us\, they feel like it’s done to help change some of their relationship. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow\, that’s\, that sounds really powerful. I can imagine that it’s coming from not just spending time together\, it’s coming from\, you know\, you described earlier the kids who really wanted to do zip lining\, they were so excited about it\, and then they got overwhelmed and scared\, right? So facing a bit of a fear and like getting out of the norm and\, and doing things like that. It’s like this whole holistic thing you’ve got going on. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I love hearing too\, [00:16:00] Kerri\, how you talk about that parent-teen relationship after camp. Are you talking to them about their experience and getting feedback from both the parent and the teen? Or is it one family survey? Or how does that kind of look\, and what are they saying? \nKERRI ASHURST: We’ve done it both ways through the years\, but it’s predominantly been in the form of just unsolicited testimonials. Tyrone gets a lot of emails from people and we send messages out. We actually create list-serves for the youth to be able to stay in contact with one another. And then we have a lot of things that come from the parents along the way\, that are not always the parent that attended. \nSometimes it’s the parent that didn’t come\, or a guardian that didn’t come\, that writes us and says\, “You guys\, this has changed the relationship\,” or\, “This has changed something in my adolescent.” We even just got one the other day from a youth who had participated in a camp last summer\, that was talking about how her daughter is now going into AmeriCorps because of some of what she [00:17:00] learned at the camp last year and that she wants to be able to work with military youth herself down the road. \nSo really amazing\, unsolicited testimonials\, I think is really the primary route where we’re picking a lot of that information up afterward. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: I would also add to that too. Let’s be honest\, right. Teens are teens\, whether they’re military\, teens or not. We’re not hearing from them unless we have to hear from them. Right Kristen? So\, uh\, that’s just – and of course I’m just being funny\, but that’s the thing. We’re working with a demographic that they’ll communicate when they have to. \nBut the way we find out what they really loved about it is when we get the next year\, when we have camp\, and they wanna sign up to be youth volunteers or young adult volunteers\, and “I wanna become on staff.” And that’s a lot of feedback that we have. The parents will always email us and say\, “We’re excited.” ‘Cause if they have multiple kids\, of course they can come back in the next year. \nBut what we’ve learned is as some of the teens get older\, or they age out\, some of them want to come back and they wanna work\, they [00:18:00] wanna be a volunteer or they want to try to get on staff. And that’s how we know that we’ve done something right. \nOr we hear multiple stories of\, you know\, they signed up to be in the military. This encouraged them. They went on to go to other camps\, other M-TACS\, we’re not the only – and of course we can talk about that later\, but we’re not the only state that does M-TACS. \nSo\, there’s just a host of things that we call rewards\, as Kerri mentioned\, that may not be on paper\, but we see that from feedback that their parents and families are always wanting to be engaged and they continue to tell other people about it. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, speaking of being rewarding\, let’s dig into that a little bit. Are there any memorable stories or experiences from the camps that have been inspiring to you? I see a big smile on both of your faces right now! \nKERRI ASHURST: There are probably too many that we could ever share in this time we have together. But\, one that has always stuck with me is\, we had a male on the younger side of adolescents that was with us one time in a camp who wanted a zip line. [00:19:00] Again\, I come back to that story so often. He wanted to do this more than anything in the world. \nBut at the particular camp we were at that time\, you had to climb a rock wall first. Some zip lines are not set up that way. Some it’s just a ladder\, or some you’re starting from a certain spot or what have you. And it’s pretty easy to do the zip line\, right. But in this particular facility we were at\, you had to climb this rock wall successfully first. And rock walls\, if you’ve ever done one before\, are not real easy. Some of these kids\, though\, make them look like they’re a breeze. But\, he tried the first day. A lot of our camps\, we break people up into smaller subgroups that are\, you know\, doing different activities at the same time. He tried that first day and couldn’t make it up the rock wall\, and so he asked us his staff if he could go back and repeat that instead of doing a different activity that his subgroup was assigned to. \nHe tried it a second time and he couldn’t get up the rock wall\, and he was getting very frustrated\, because he just wanted to hit that zip line so [00:20:00] badly and do it one time in his life. And finally after just feeling like he wasn’t gonna be able to do it and us encouraging him and everything\, he got on there a third time on the last day of the camp\, I believe it was\, the last morning\, and a whole group of people who had been parts of subgroups from other things came over and joined him and we all cheered him on and he made it up that rock wall and he got to zipline. \nSo it was great. Yeah. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Yay. \nKERRI ASHURST: Stories like that\, they’re just\, yeah\, they will get you and they will pull you in and they make all the hard work and planning for these camps worth every minute of it. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Third time’s a charm. That’s awesome. I’m glad that he made it up the rock wall and kind of conquered\, slayed the dragon\, if you will. Tyrone\, did you have a story that you wanted to share also? \nTYRONE ATKINSON: There are so many; Kerri’s really great at recalling exactly what happened. Mine would be jumbled and probably pieced together from two or multiple stories. But [00:21:00] I will share a common thought that I have every year that I go back. What is so interesting\, and\, and Kerri alluded to this earlier\, we do believe that there is Camp Magic\, and I see it every summer\, every time that we have camps\, and it happens in the form of you have families coming from all over. And we may have not gotten too much into this\, we know we do have camps at multiple places\, but all of our families aren’t coming from Kentucky. We have families come from all over the country and not all these families know each other. \nSo to have a group of 50 to 65 people\, teens and parents\, that have never met\, come together in this\, Kerri said\, in four days. By the first night we usually do team building. \nWe’ll have dinner. We check in on the first night\, and we just kind of take it easy. We don’t do any high\, volume activities\, but we’ll just do some team building with them\, old school\, like I said: group games\, and just getting back to just communicating and [00:22:00] talking. But by the end of that first night\, every camp\, it never fails. \nThose families are already bonding with other families. Those teens\, they’ve already found some community and it’s just a beautiful sight to see. It’s really\, really magical in the sense of at this point\, it’s not even that we’re trying or it’s not forced\, and it’s just amazing to see that by the end of those three or four days\, that those families have created a network and they have bonded in a way that some of those memories can lead to lifetime experiences and friendships and bonds\, and that is what happened. We believe that magic is what keeps them coming back\, and that is why families end up communicating. And we don’t have to email every family. Most of them are already emailing us\, you know\, later that year\, and we can’t even apply for the grant until the end of the year. \nBut some of them already want to know\, as soon as it’s over\, “Hey\, what are we doing next year?” And it’s just amazing to see how families come together. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Do they keep in touch\, that you know of? Do the families sometimes keep in [00:23:00] touch and become friends long term? \nTYRONE ATKINSON: Absolutely. \nKERRI ASHURST: Yes. And we’ve had some really cool stories with that. We had two girls that met at a camp one time who ended up\, the next several years in a row\, one family flew a girl to the other family’s house in another state for Christmas\, so they could spend Christmas break together. Yeah\, so we’ve had some really amazing stories. \nWe’ve had a lot of families follow up with us through the years about their youth going on into degrees for college or into the military or something to be able to do some work that focuses on paying it forward in many ways and being able to give of themselves in service to other military families. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I love how you said it\, Tyrone\, “Camp Magic.” It sounds like the magic\, it’s there for the parents. It’s there for the teens. Like collectively\, it’s there for parents\, it’s there for spouses at home or guardians at home that hear about and experience the transformation months and years following [00:24:00] camp. But it also sounds like it’s transformational for you\, like for you as a Camp counselor as the lead\, and getting to go to camp\, Tyrone through the military teen adventure camp. So it sounds like extremely rewarding work. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: Kristen\, that is amazing. And you kind of are reading my thoughts. Transformational is a word that I would say has been a big part of my career\, which I know we may talk about a little later\, which is why I believe extension is so important. The work that we do in extension. I believe we are here to be\, change agents and transformation agents. \nIf I could use that\, for families\, the work that we’ve been able to do through these military grants\, and through M-TAC\, it’s so rewarding and it has a lot of therapeutic aspects to what we do. I learned years ago that\, it’s kind of hard to put it into words\, but the more you serve clientele and the [00:25:00] more you you do for others\, you realize that not only is it you giving a service to other people\, but sometimes those people are serving you. \nAnd I’ve realized somewhere along the way that all the things that I think I give and all of my passion and all of my heart that I want to give out\, and I love working with youth and families\, but I also realized that there’s also needs there that have been met for me. \nLike I wasn’t\, like I said in the beginning\, I wasn’t a very outdoor person\, and Kerri knows this\, ’cause we’ve worked together the majority of my whole career. And it is just amazing to see the transformation that I went from wanting to stay in a cabin with no air\, rather than to stay in a tent and be around bugs and snakes and spiders. \nAnd now if I don’t go outside and go camp in a tent at some point in any given year\, then I feel like my life is dull. You know? And it’s just crazy how much that’s changed. But again\, that is the magic too\, that it changes you. More than you [00:26:00] think. As well as you changing. And I think that’s what passion and having a heart to serve people does. \nEventually you realize that you are a beneficiary of the serving that you’re giving. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. I feel like we should just end the episode on that line! So\, extension\, you mentioned extension as being a change maker\, and I kind of wanna move us a little bit into talking about extension kind of as a whole\, because all of us on this call are extension educators\, extension employees. \nAnd one part of our purpose with this podcast is to highlight examples of the military Family Readiness System in action. A program like the Military Teen Adventure Camps. That is the military family readiness system in action\, right? It is a program that supports military families\, and you all are professionals that are part of this network of networks\, that is what the military Family Readiness system is. \nIt’s a network of networks\, and so a big part of what we try to do in the podcast is highlight [00:27:00] examples\, but also talk a little bit about the military family readiness system and what it means to be a professional that’s connected within that system. And extension in general is an organization. There are many extensions across the US\, we are all kind of connected as part of this system. There are some of them who do direct programming like you guys do\, and there are some who don’t\, or maybe don’t do as much of it. And so my question is\, you know\, from your perspective\, what’s the value of extension in doing outreach and programming to support military families? \nKERRI ASHURST: You know\, when a lot of the programming first began to occur through extension\, with military partnerships through DOD and USDA and other entities as well\, a lot of it was 4-H focused. It was focused on youth and 4-H clubs and\, bringing 4-H Club programming to bases and that kind of thing. \nReally looking at Extension as a great conduit\, if you will\, for being able to do youth development programming. And that’s sort of where it began. But then through [00:28:00] the years it’s really expanded and moved into all areas. And of course\, Tyrone and I are in Family Consumer Sciences here at the University of Kentucky. \nAnd\, looking at it from a really holistic perspective and a lifespan perspective\, even with the work that extension does and can offer to any audience\, including the military and being a part of the family readiness system with everything from nutrition programs\, to family finance\, to parenting\, to outdoor recreational programs like M-TAC and many\, many other things as well along the way. \nAnd so\, you know\, we work within extension with the most rural to the most urban\, and everything in between there too. And I think that’s a big part of why extension can be such a fantastic resource for families at any stage in the lifespan. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and I’ll just throw in there a little bit just because I come from the community development side of extension. I’m even thinking there are ways to support military families through our [00:29:00] entrepreneurship programming and through looking at solving for certain issues in a community\, like housing\, whatever the community issues are\, right? Military families are one of the groups of people that may have a stake in that particular issue. I see this all the time. I also see though a lot of extension educators being like\, “Well\, I don’t serve military families. I just have my programming and I put my programming out there on all my different channels\, and people come to the programming. I do my evaluation on the programming\, and I don’t have any military families.” Well\, we don’t ask\, we don’t ask in our evaluations. I think a lot of us don’t ask about that status. \nKERRI ASHURST: That’s a very good point. When we first started doing\, what I’m gonna call more intentional work with military\, many years ago\, you know\, we are in a state where we actually have 120 counties in Kentucky\, and we have 120 extension offices. And a lot of people don’t know that about our state. It’s pretty incredible. \nBut\, because we had people doing programming in every county\, they were reaching military and didn’t even necessarily [00:30:00] know it through some of the different things that they were doing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nKERRI ASHURST: Then when we really started looking at this from a more intentional way\, we realized\, yeah\, we already have people who are involved\, but let’s try to help them understand what extension is\, to be able to get them even more involved and\, really be able to do some targeted programming. \nThen that focuses on working with our armories and our bases and various different things. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: I know that one of the things that we did early on\, as Kerri said\, especially with military\, OneSource became really big. Kerri and I connected with them and they used to have demographic data that would showcase how many families our military families were in that specific county. They did breakdowns of military service members\, and what we did with the extension agents is that we went in communities and helped them to see the numbers of how many military personnel or family members and youth would be in their counties\, just to give them an idea. \nAnd I think sometimes having that information is even eye-opening\, ’cause it’s like\, you know\, [00:31:00] you probably have served some of these families\, you just don’t know it. And I think\, going back to the question is\, one of the benefits of having extension is that we are that branch\, we are that arm to the community from the university. \nAnd we have so many programs and resources at times that families just never know about. So I would definitely be remiss if I didn’t highlight the 4-H military partnerships. Kerri and I have both been a part of that agency at times and just the work that they’re doing all over. \nOne of the things that is very important is military families do move from time to time\, especially if they’re on active duty\, so they’re not always staying in the same community. So the importance of having extension across the board and having some fluidity to our programming is\, “What if I enjoyed something really well when I was in one community\, but then I had to move across the country. If I can connect to another extension\, maybe they’re not doing the same programming\, but maybe it’s the same heart and essence\, if I [00:32:00] can connect to a 4-H club\, or if I can connect to A-A-F-C-S program or an agriculture program\, and if I can still stay involved in my community\,” I think Extension has a responsibility to still serve families no matter where they go. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thank you so much. That is the conversation that I would like to have more often with extension educators. \nSo\, we love to end each of our episodes with\, asking our guests to share a personal practice that helps with your own mental health\, wellbeing\, readiness\, and resilience. \nSo\, did you guys have something to share with us? \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I’ll go first\, Jessica. Kerri was talking about this earlier about like\, something about being outdoors just really makes you feel like you’re more present. I feel like I appreciate the sunrises more\, the sunsets more\, I feel like I breathe in deeper in the outdoors. But\, I think the key to fully enjoying any adventure or activity for me is prioritizing rest and [00:33:00] giving myself permission to do nothing. I really see rest as kind of the prerequisite to hard work\, and not necessarily like the reward to hard work. And I find that when I prioritize rest\, I’m really setting myself up for sustainable effort\, and adventure. \nMy husband and I\, we love to make travel plans and going to national parks. Folks listening on the podcast can’t see that I have all these national park posters behind me in my video. But\, we know that to fully enjoy the experience and the adventure that we have to have downtime and rest as well. \n  \nKERRI ASHURST: I’ll jump in with that\, with saying that I am an experience person. I don’t do well when I’m in the same place for too terribly long. And I like to get out and I like to do. And so when I first started developing this idea many\, many years ago\, in my head of bringing a parent and a teenager together from a military family to a camp\, a lot of it came [00:34:00] out of\, like I said\, my own joys from childhood being outdoors and experiencing. And I was a little bit terrified\, if I’m being honest. I thought\, “Oh my gosh\, what if we do this and we get the funding for this\, and then\, you know\, two people sign up or nobody signs up!” \nI was really scared those first couple of years. But what I came to realize very quickly is how many people were looking for those experiences too\, and being able to do those things and create those memories with their children. It ended up becoming very simple within a couple of years of us moving from nobody knowing what we were doing to word of mouth\, traveling very fast\, and Tyrone and I getting phone calls or emails from people who were in another country\, stationed somewhere in another country or maybe out on a carrier\, somewhere out in the ocean or something\, asking us when our camp registrations were going to begin. And it was the coolest thing in the whole world. \nIt was so rewarding for me to get to see something that started truly in many ways as an idea from some of the things we were hearing from families become [00:35:00] real and become powerful\, and become very meaningful to the families that we’re attending. And now\, in more recent years\, I know you’re gonna have some information about our upcoming registration\, we’ll be starting that soon. In more recent years\, we’ve actually filled up camps and had pretty long wait lists\, so it’s been incredible to get to watch all of that growth through the years for me. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: I would say two things for me. Since we’re talking about being outdoors\, and camping\, I’ll use things that are therapeutic for me. At camp\, one of the things is just realizing that I try to help a lot of youth understand\, and then people who\, because I’ve come from such a traumatic background of not loving outdoors\, to loving outdoors. It’s kinda like you go in a room\, I try to help people to think\, like\, when you go in a room\, it’s dark\, but when you flip on the flashlight or you click on the light switch\, the light immediately comes on right? \nAnd to embrace that light. It’s one thing to go from being an inside person and never wanting to [00:36:00] come outside\, and then when you fully get to a place where you’re in the open country the only noise is\, animals or insects. And that is the noise of the evening. It’s\, in myself\, teaching myself to fully embrace that moment and flip the light switch. \nLike\, “Hey\, I’m outdoors now. This is where I am. So I gotta be comfortable with everything that’s gonna happen out here because I’m no longer inside.” So that’s one of the things. And I know\, but then the other part is practicing reflecting with gratitude. \nMy favorite place to be at camp\, even though I said whitewater raft\, and I love to be in the water ’cause I’m a water person\, but the campfire is my safe space. Anytime that there’s a fire\, I can just sit down and stare into the fire for hours. And that is a place where I feel safe. That’s a place where I just feel like I can collect my thoughts and I just reflect with gratitude. \nThat’s what I long for. So anytime that I can get out and go\, be around a fire and just gaze\, have an ultimate [00:37:00] smore too\, those are with Reese’s – if you’ve never had an ultimate s’more. So that’s what we do at camp. If you can tolerate peanut butter\, of course\, but just to be around a fire. That’s my safe space. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I love that Tyrone. I actually just tried a s’more with a Reese Cup this past year and it’s awesome. I don’t know about the ultimate s’more\, is that Hershey’s Chocolate? \nTYRONE ATKINSON: No\, it’s just with the Reese. So you’ve already done it! \nKRISTEN JOWERS: It’s the Camp Magic! Yes. \nTYRONE ATKINSON: We gotta get you there so you can experience it\, Kristen. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: That sounds so good. And thank you so much\, Kerri and Tyrone\, for joining us today. There are a couple of websites that we will link in our show notes so that you can learn more about the camps. There is also a Facebook profile that you can follow for more information. The Facebook profile is Kentucky Military Teen Adventure Camps. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us\, and a special thanks to our guests\, Dr. Kerri [00:38:00] Ashurst and Tyrone Atkinson\, and guest co-host Kristen Jowers. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’d also love to hear what you’ve been thinking about and what’s inspiring you. You can share that with us by clicking the “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org. We can’t wait to hear from you. \n– break – \nKRISTEN JOWERS: In today’s episode\, we had a great conversation with Kerri Ashurst and Tyrone Atkinson about military teen adventure camps. These camps offer incredible opportunities for military youth to connect\, grow\, and experience the great outdoors. We wanted to take a moment to share a bit more about them. So if you’re part of a military family or you know\, someone who is\, here are the details you’ll wanna pass along: \nAttention military families. Are you ready for an unforgettable adventure [00:39:00] this summer? The University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service is offering two incredible Military Teen Adventure Camps in 2025\, completely free of charge! \nThe first camp\, Ocoee Whitewater Rafting and Outdoor Quest\, will take place from July 11-14\, 2025\, and will accommodate 80 participants\, divided into 40 parent/teen teams. This camp will feature exciting activities such as whitewater rafting\, tubing\, rock climbing\, and lake activities. \nThe second camp\, ACE Whitewater Rafting\, Climbing\, Rappelling and Outdoor Adventure\, is scheduled for July 25-28\, 2025\, with 54 spots available for 27 parent/teen teams. This camp will offer thrilling experiences including whitewater paddling\, mountain biking\, ziplining\, and canopy tours. \nThese four-day camps are open to military families from all states and branches\, including active duty\, reserve\, guard\, and retirees. Parents or guardians can join their teens (ages 13-19) for thrilling outdoor experiences\, team-building activities\, and quality bonding time. \nSince 2012\, these camps have brought together families from multiple states and countries\, offering exciting challenges and unforgettable memories. Don’t miss this opportunity to strengthen your family bonds while conquering rapids\, scaling cliffs\, and soaring through treetops! \nMark your calendars: Registration opens April 17\, 2025. Visit the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service website for more information and to secure your spot in these high [00:41:00] adrenaline adventures! \nWe’d like to thank our announcer Kaylin\, Gobel Mathis\, Maggie Lucas\, and Joyce Vaughn for their help with marketing and Nathan Grim\, who composed and performed all the music you hear on the podcast. We hope you’ll listen again soon. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/adventure-ready-strengthening-military-families-through-teen-camps/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/qtq80-5JyEu0.jpeg
END:VEVENT
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DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250410
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250411
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250410T212306Z
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UID:10001581-1744243200-1744329599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:A Compass For Building Compassion Resilience
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjkyNzUwNiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY5Mjc1MDYtYS1jb21wYXNzLWZvci1idWlsZGluZy1jb21wYXNzaW9uLXJlc2lsaWVuY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjkyNzUwNiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 15) \nFeeling overwhelmed or fatigued? Join us as we explore the Compass Model for Wellness\, a simple yet powerful tool to assess and strengthen resilience across four key areas: heart\, mind\, spirit\, and strength. Learn how this model can help you navigate challenges and build compassion resilience in your personal and professional life. \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, hosts Coral and Jessica wrap up their three-part series on Compassion Resilience by introducing the Compass Model for Wellness. Jessica shares practical insights from the Rogers Behavioral Health Compassion Resilience Toolkit\, highlighting how the model’s four sectors—heart\, mind\, spirit\, and strength—can guide reflection on fatigue and resilience. Through a simple yet impactful practice\, listeners can identify areas for growth and action while celebrating their strengths. Tune in to discover how this framework can support your journey toward greater ease and balance. \nLinks\n\n\n\nCompassion Resilience Toolkit: https://eliminatestigma.org/compassion-resilience-toolkit/\nReflection Worksheet:\nhttps://eliminatestigma.org/wp-content/uploads/Schools_Section2_Reflection.pdf \nPracticing Connection LinkedIn community:\nhttps://www.linkedin.com/showcase/practicingconnection\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]CORAL OWEN: Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral\, my co-host Jessica is here today as well. We’re going to be wrapping up our three part series on compassion resilience by introducing you today to the Compassion Model for Wellness. And Jessica’s gonna be sharing a practice with us. \nHey Jess\, how are you? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, Coral. I’m doing pretty good. I’m so happy to be here with you today after that brief hiatus. I’ve had some personal shakeups since you were last here that have really forced me to ask myself every day\, whether it’s related to\, you know\, the production of even this podcast – forced me to ask myself every day what is essential. \nI remember attending these incredible sessions during the pandemic with people from all over the world\, where the facilitators would open each session with a story. Usually it was a story from their life from even that day. And a big open question and the one that stuck with me the most was\, [00:01:00] “What is essential?” And I’ve used it since\, during times of crisis and in my group process and strategic planning work. \nIt’s a question that simultaneously kind of cuts through all the noise\, and is open enough to invite possibility. So it kept coming to mind during the last couple of months. So I just trusted my instinct and started to lean on it a little bit. And I really have found that it’s actually a pretty good productivity tool. And I know you and I love to talk productivity. It’s really kind of my version of just keep swimming\, just find the one thing\, what’s essential right now. Keep going\, keep going. But the primary benefit has been that just focusing on what’s essential right now\, has increased a sense of ease when I’ve really needed it the most. \nCORAL OWEN: I love that so much\, Jessica\, and I\, similarly to you probably\, I do a\, a reflection each morning just as I’m\, you know\, I’m a bit old school setting my\, [00:02:00] paper to-do list and\, outlining my schedule. And one of the spaces in the journal that I use\, a planning journal is\, just a guiding thought or a mantra for the day. \nAnd oftentimes I have a bucket in my brain and the one that I need most that day will hit me. And very frequently it is\, “Only the essential\,” is the guiding mantra. And that’s been coming up a lot lately. Just\, but I love totally what you’re getting out of just distilling\, what are the absolute need todos for the day. \nAnd it can really just kind of ease the mental clutter and chaos that sometimes comes with just being a human and living life. So thanks so much for sharing that. We would also love to hear what’s inspiring all of you\, our listeners. So please share with us by clicking the “send us a text message” link at the top of the description of this episode. \nWhen you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number in the words. Do not remove. Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove the number or we won’t see your message. To [00:03:00] protect your privacy. We won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. \nIf you’re listening on the computer\, you can simply email us at practicing connection@oneop.org. So please let us know what’s inspiring you now. \n– break – \nAll right. Let’s learn more about using the Compass Model for Wellness\, for building compassion resilience. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing today and also why you chose it? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Again\, this is from the Rogers Behavioral Health Compassion Resilience Toolkit that you can find at compassionresiliencetoolkit.org. They have three different toolkits in one. One is for schools and school staff. One is for professionals in the health and human services sector\, and one is for parents and caregivers. \nI participated in a multi-week training on this a few years ago to facilitate support circles. [00:04:00] I chose this particular practice as a way to introduce the Compass Model of Wellness\, which is based on the work of Dr. Scott and Holly Stoner of Samaritan Family Wellness Center\, which happens to be near my hometown. \nSo you know\, wanted to give them some credit. I’ve spoken about other models like the eight Dimensions of Wellness from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration\, and Total Force Fitness. These are all excellent models for building our resilience as professionals and leaders\, and frankly\, for using with our clients as well and the people that we work with. \nBut what I specifically like about the Compass model of wellness is the ease of remembering the different sectors\, because there are only four. And they are heart\, mind\, spirit\, and strength. And each sector is broken down into two additional areas. But I still like the ease of remembering heart\, mind\, spirit\, and strength. \nMind includes the areas of work and organization. [00:05:00]\nStrength includes the areas of stress\, resilience\, and care for body. \nSpirit includes the areas of core values and rest in play. \nAnd heart includes the areas of relationships and emotions. \nThe other reason I wanted to choose this practice is that it builds on what we’ve already talked about on compassion resilience by using the sectors of the compass model for wellness as a guide to assess our fatigue and our resilience within each sector. It’s such a simple reflection\, but also really powerful and eye-opening when you notice those areas you’re feeling fatigue\, and you identify what you can do about it. \nCORAL OWEN: I am so intrigued. So let’s get started. Jessica\, can you walk us through how to use this? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: To start with\, if possible\, it’s not necessary\, but if possible\, I recommend using the worksheet that we provided a link to in the show notes. For the moment though\, as you’re listening\, you can just [00:06:00] consider the four\, I’m gonna call it the four “directions” of the Compass Model of Wellness. \nAnd as I go over each one\, consider whether you would rank your resilience in each as low\, medium\, or high\, right? So think about are you feeling like your resilience here is really good? So then you would rank it as high or\, do you feel like your resilience in that area is not doing so good\, so you’d rank it as low. And of course you can always go with medium as well. \nOkay\, so heart\, which refers to resilience in relationships and emotions. \nSpirit refers to our resilience around living our core values and our engagement and recreational activities that we love\, which is also called rest in play in the Compass Model. \nStrength\, refers to our stress\, resilience\, and how we care for our bodies. \nAnd mind [00:07:00] is about doing meaningful work and even organization. It includes organization such as managing our time\, money\, and priorities. \nSo next\, now that you have a little bit of a sense of how you feel about your resilience in each of those areas\, reflect on which section of the wellness compass you feel most fatigued in. Is it heart\, spirit\, strength or mind? You would’ve rated your resilience as low. What resources do you reach out to when you’re feeling fatigued in this area? And maybe for some of us\, more importantly\, what resources can you reach out to that maybe you haven’t done so yet? \nAnd then finally reflect on which section of the wellness compass you feel the most resilient. Was it heart\, spirit\, strength or mind that you rated high? How do you maintain your resilience in this area? And almost more [00:08:00] importantly\, how might you teach others about maintaining their resilience in this area? Think about some of your colleagues. How might you help share what you know and what has worked for you. \nSo use this information to determine your next action. You might reach out and use a resource in an area of the compass where you’re feeling fatigued\, or you might listen for opportunities to share with others how you may maintain resilience in one of these areas. \nYou can do that right now\, in fact\, by joining the Practicing Connection community on LinkedIn and creating a post that shares how you maintain resiliency in one of the areas of the compass. \nCORAL OWEN: I would love to hear from our listeners about their takeaways and their areas of high resilience and how they\, you know\, maintain and nurture those areas. It might also be a great opportunity to reach out and see what other tools folks might be using in the areas where we might all need a little bit of a boost. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nCORAL OWEN: Yeah. Jessica\, thank you so much. And I find [00:09:00] myself just reflecting\, as you know\, you’re talking through\, on some areas of opportunity in my own life. So I’m excited to dig into this practice myself after this episode is wrapped. So thank you so much for sharing that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, you’re welcome. I love the opportunity to use some of these tools that I learned about\, and got trained on using\, so this is great for me too. \nCORAL OWEN: Well\, that is it for this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today’s episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We will be back next week with an exciting new episode\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/a-compass-for-building-compassion-resilience/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/qtq80-enTpwN.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250403
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250404
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250411T142744Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250411T143049Z
UID:10001576-1743638400-1743724799@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Policy\, Practice\, and Compassion in Mental Health with Dr. Keita Franklin
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjg5NzkyMCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY4OTc5MjAtcG9saWN5LXByYWN0aWNlLWFuZC1jb21wYXNzaW9uLWluLW1lbnRhbC1oZWFsdGgtd2l0aC1kci1rZWl0YS1mcmFua2xpbi5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2ODk3OTIwJTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 14) \nHow can policymakers and frontline providers collaborate to transform mental health care for service members and veterans?  \nDr. Keita Franklin is here to share 25 years of insights – from data-driven policy to personal resilience practices.\n\nNational policy leader Dr. Keita Franklin joins host Jessica Beckendorf and special guest co-host Kalin Goble Mathis to discuss the evolving landscape of mental health for service members and veterans. \nThis important conversation explores the intersection of research\, community partnerships\, and self-care for service providers. Dr. Franklin reveals how listening to lived experiences\, leveraging data\, and fostering collaboration can drive meaningful change – plus\, her personal practices for sustaining resilience in demanding work. \nLinks\n\n\n\nDr. Franklin at Leidos\nDr. Franklin on LinkedIn\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, and welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf\, and I’m so excited today to be welcoming our special guest and a special guest\, co-host\, and awesome person all around my coworker and friend\, Kaylin Gobel Mathis\, whose voice you hear on every one of our episodes in the intro and outro. \nWelcome to Practicing Connection\, Kalin. Would you mind introducing yourself a bit? \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Thanks so much\, Jessica. I’m very excited to be here today. Yes\, I’m Kaylin Gobel Mathis. I am a program development specialist with OneOp and a College of Agriculture and Life Sciences extension faculty at Virginia Tech. I am joining you all today from Monticello\, Florida\, which is about 40 minutes outside of Tallahassee\, Florida. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I bet a lot warmer than where I am in Wisconsin. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Yes! \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Our guest today is Dr. Keita Franklin\, a national [00:01:00] federal policy leader with over 25 years of experience leading public health and mental health programming for veterans\, military service members and their families. Her background includes leading large change management efforts\, driving lasting and meaningful outcomes for veteran and military communities. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Good morning. Happy to be on with all of you today. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Thanks so much Dr. Franklin. And in addition to providing subject matter expertise on suicide prevention\, Keita is a social scientist who consults organizations and institutions on research implementation science and data-driven leadership. So yes\, hello Keita\, and thank you so much for joining us on Practicing Connection. \nSo to begin the conversation\, to kick us off\, can you share a bit about what started your journey into public health and mental health programming? We’d love to hear what inspired you to pursue this path\, especially to support our military service and veteran populations. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yes\, I’m [00:02:00] happy to. Thank you so much for the good question starting us off. You know\, I tell everybody\, you know\, my father was in the Navy. He was an enlisted sailor and so we did\, we lived on military bases my entire life\, all the way up through going into undergrad. Our last base was Westover Air Force Base in western Massachusetts\, but my sister also had cerebral palsy with a seizure disorder\, my only sibling. \nSo I probably learned early on\, probably before there was really an official exceptional family member program or whatever. I learned quite a bit about caregiving and about military families. Just my own lived experience and then\, you know\, couple that probably with a little bit of some luck\, I bet. I entered the field initially as a child welfare worker and stumbled upon somebody in my path. \nAt this point\, my husband was also on active duty and\, and I stumbled upon another provider who said\, you know\, if you’re gonna be moving around with the military\, you might look at social work and public health because they’re good portable careers where you can really make a difference. And so I was off to the races at that point. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. [00:03:00] Thank you so much for sharing that. And this will probably date me\, but I just wanna say Go Navy! I know that’s not the current slogan\, that tells you that I’m older. Yes. My father\, same thing. Enlisted career. Navy. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Ah okay. That’s beautiful. I love that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Yeah. We probably\, we maybe lived in a few similar places. \nSo what are some of the most significant changes you’ve seen in public health and mental health services for veterans over the past 25 years? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: One of the things I’ve seen that’s gotten better has been focused on stigma. You know\, early on in the military and even as a veteran\, we see service members that were afraid to come forward and ask for help if they’re struggling with a mental health issue. \nAnd there was just lots of old school myth legends that said\, you know\, if you come forward. It’s a sign of weakness or it will impact your career. And it has taken a long time to move the needle\, I think\, in the field on stigma. But we’ve gotten there. It’s probably not all the way where it needs [00:04:00] to be. \nThere’s still some of this old school thinking\, but at least it’s gotten better. So stigma I think is a big one\, like out of the gate. And then also I’ve appreciated in the field the shift from very much reactive programming. That sort of people waited too long\, I think\, to come into care. They waited until their symptoms were super chronic or they were in crisis\, and then they often showed up like in hospital settings. \nI think part of the wartime effort pushed the military to really start thinking about prevention focused programming in a scientific way\, whereby you started to see a focus on like getting help early. And we know from the literature that like. Getting help early does in fact work. Your symptoms are less chronic. \nYou’re able to get back quicker. You\, you know\, it’s\, it’s all manner of effective way to get care. But in years past it didn’t happen. And then there’s been a decade long shift where prevention is honored and respected and people realize\, like\, go in before you have a full diagnosis. That [00:05:00] works. Getting help early. \nI think there’s other things that\, that\, that coincide with that\, whereby you see a focus on mental health being just as important as physical health. Versus in the past it was like physical health was the main effort\, and if you had a broken elbow or even a common cold\, you were quick to talk about it and quick to go in for care and less quick if it were feeling\, um\, some symptoms of depression or struggling a little bit with anxiety. \nBut now we’re seeing those\, I think\, you know\, we’re\, it’s not perfect\, but we’re getting better in that regard too. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Do we have a sense for why that is? And I’m not asking you to have all the answers\, but does the field have a sense for why that is? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Well\, I think part of it is generationally speaking\, right? \nYou see where young people are just more accepting to talk about it. To say\, just as they would say\, like\, I’m struggling with my allergies today. They might be willing to say\, you know\, I’m feeling out of sorts today and I don’t feel okay. And so they\, I think it’s the younger generation that’s propelling us to become more [00:06:00] accepting of these things and to talk about it more. \nSocial media’s talking about it\, it’s online. People are able to do a lot of their own self-help research. And then I think really the role of technology has changed it\, right? We’re\, we’re starting to have technology tools where your wearable will say\, you know\, maybe if you’re not sleeping well\, and so there’s a focus on like people knowing that sleep drives emotion regulation and coping skills. If you don’t sleep well\, you probably aren’t gonna cope well that day. And so there’s just been a variety of reasons\, I think\, but I appreciate that it’s come full circle and\, and has this focus on prevention. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: And I think that’s an important piece of it\, is that more holistic approach that we’re hoping to move towards in terms of that mental and physical\, how both impact each other\, right. It’s very circular. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: So to those points\, Keita\, what do you feel are some key elements to successfully driving lasting and meaningful outcomes for public health initiatives? And I think maybe digging a little deeper into that de-stigmatization\, like how can providers really. [00:07:00] Work to get that message across to hopefully the community that they are serving as well in those key elements. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yeah\, I totally appreciate this question because people don’t always know like\, what is a public health approach? Like we talk a lot about it in the field and we say this is a public health issue\, or Covid is a public health issue. Or\, you know\, suicide prevention\, which is near and dear to my work\, is a public health issue. \nBut\, what does that really mean when we’re trying to prevent it? And it really is like a bundled set of practices that you have to do all at once. And if only it were so simple that we could just do one thing\, even one scientific thing. Like let’s just drive out training and let’s educate everybody. \nIt’s an important part of the public health model\, but like training alone will not prevent something. It will not prevent\, you know\, suicide or covid for example. So I appreciate your question ’cause it’s focused on public health\, but also on policy and the important need for policy being a key and essential element to that bundled set of practices. \nI have a colleague at SAMHSA over the years\, Richard McEwen\, and he always says that it is [00:08:00] a bundled approach over time that will create the differences that we need. And we wanna see fast results in our field. Like we wanna see reductions in the data that show X\, Y\, Z\, but sometimes you have to implement like. \nAll of the factors\, like you have to build a coalition\, you have to study your data\, you have to use your data to write good policy\, you have to have a research agenda. You have to train people. Believe it or not\, you even have to work with the media\, and we saw that play out during Covid where. The media would report on the data\, like there’s higher rates of covid in this state\, or it’s getting better in that state. \nLike you have to have a data and surveillance cell that’s like studying the issues and reporting out on it and DESI\, and using it to design the interventions. And you even have to push other treatment modalities or care modalities like peer support or case manager or care coordinators alongside\, no kidding\, clinicians in hospital and community settings. \nSo a long way to say though\, that there’s a lot of [00:09:00] elements. And we need the policy that wraps all those elements together. Because what the policy does is it sustains the work over time because it’s codified. Super important for government\, right\, to document our processes and have policies. Certainly open to be changed like it needs to be iterative and redone and you know\, probably every year and a half or so you’re like updating the policy. And in government it takes about a year and a half at a fast pace to push out a policy. But we know that the policy sustained the people. So like if you or I leave these positions. And we were to implement a policy that said\, you know\, all of the veterans will get screened for suicide risk in the ER. \nThat would sustain our time until new evidence\, new data\, new research came that maybe said we didn’t need to do that. But the policies are really\, I think\, so important to the public health approach. So that’s why I’m like loving that question because I want people to not be scared of policy\, to know that it’s part of their practice\, and that it’s a way to impact a process for a large [00:10:00] population of people. \nAnd I’ve seen it firsthand in my own career\, and I\, it’s incredible when you see it in action. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: I was just going to reflect on that just a little bit\, Keita\, in terms of just also\, you know\, in our work\, we work very closely with the Family advocacy program and the Child and Youth advocacy program\, which are a lot of those professionals helping shape those policies that the Department of Defense practitioners are utilizing in their work. \nAnd really\, you know\, I know driving their work is standardizing that as well\, especially for Yeah\, these families that are moving so often that maybe there’s a lot more inconsistencies than\, you know\, the normal civilian family. So really working to standardize that care\, but also with the caveat of knowing each community has unique needs. \nEach community has unique experiences that maybe they like if they’re a younger population\, they may be seeing some trends in there if they’re older populations\, stuff like that. But also I appreciate that in terms of trying to deliver that standardized care so that when families show up\, they’re getting some kind of [00:11:00] consistency there. \nSo I just wanted to reflect that a bit. I appreciated that. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: We do owe it to them. The standardization piece is so important\, and I would get that question a lot from our own practitioners in the field. Like how do we standardize a policy\, for example\, at a large military base like Camp Pendleton that also works at like Henderson Hall\, which is like a super small base and there are ways to do it. \nAnd so I just say that it’s hard work and it is our lifelong work\, but putting that standard\, standardized process in place is\, it’s a good\, good solid point. That also goes hand in hand with policy development. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I feel like my next question kind of gets into the nuts and bolts of what you were just talking about. \nSo you talked about all these different elements and that policy kind of wraps around it and\, and kind of supports those other elements. So thinking then about policy and practice development\, how do you approach those two to ensure that the policy effectively addresses the needs of [00:12:00] military family service members and their families? \nAnd to ensure that the practices effectively address the needs. All of the elements. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: I see\, I see. I know part of the approach to like starting the work on making sure that policy and practice maps involves just like a whole lot of listening to the people that you’re serving. And on the one hand\, that’s such an easy concept\, but believe it or not\, it’s not always done. \nAnd so like when people hold listening sessions when they. Listen to what’s going well and what’s not going well. And you know\, I saw this firsthand in my work in suicide. I would get calls from survivors of suicide loss from moms and dads that lost\, you know\, God forbid that tragically lost one of their own family members\, their sons or daughters to suicide. \nThey have a story to tell. And like we have to listen to their stories\, like listening to the voices of live survivors. And you can listen for trends and you can listen for things that are not going well. If\, if a mom calls the department and\, and shares that you know\, her son was on all [00:13:00] sorts of different types of psychotropic meds. \nThat’s a data point that you need to hear and you need to dig into the policy around that. And was it\, was it enacted properly? And so definitely there’s an element to listening. And then I think there’s also an element to like staying on top of the science\, knowing what the data\, like data always drives policy. \nSo what does the data tell us? What are the new trends coming from the research? And that’s like whether it’s listservs and you know\, what journals do you stay on top of? Like how do you like consume your information to make sure that you’re using data and science to like. Keep your policies cutting edge and up to date. \nAnd then I also\, I share this\, this doesn’t always have to be super complicated. I have this example whereby in the midst of the war effort\, I was working for the Marine Corps and we were seeing struggles with the Marines after deployment. And I was thinking through my work as a behavioral health leader and like what new policies and trends are\, are we facing? \nAnd I was in a conversation with a very senior leader at the time in the Marine Corps. General Dunford\, and he [00:14:00] shared\, you know\, that if we were seeing these struggles with Marines after deployment\, one of the things that was going on was that the Marines were automatically PCSing to their next duty station. \nThey were coming back from deployment and the system was set up for them to immediately move. And so they were not near their peer group that they deployed with\, who would see that they were not Well. Those who knew them best\, they’re at a different duty station and those who knew them best may not see that they’re not well. \nAnd so he implemented a policy change at the time that had the Marines staying in place for 90 days after a deployment. It was just a short period of time\, but like changed a massive manpower model. It wasn’t a policy from my own area\, like manpower Modeling was not my area. Behavioral health was my area\, but this policy change in manpower that kept them in place for 90 days and had them supporting each other for 90 days after deployment where they could recognize if one of their own weren’t. \nWell\, I had spillover effects for the behavioral health area. And so you start to see how like a data point [00:15:00] on DUIs and child abuse and domestic violence and\, and um\, you know\, post-traumatic stress. These data points after deployment drive a manpower policy change that keeps Marines in place so they can support one another. \nAnd then you start to track the outcomes over time to see that that small change in the system can create such positive outcomes. It requires a policy that’s like outside our immediate area\, if that makes sense. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: It always amazes me at how\, whenever I hear about these really small tweaks\, what a big impact\, like small things like during intake\, asking whether somebody’s a veteran or asking whether someone yes\, you know\, is a military service member\, which a lot of folks don’t do because\, you know\, maybe this is not the main part of their job. \nThey don’t work with a lot of military families\, but just asking that takes seconds. It can actually really make the biggest difference for that family. So anyway\, yes\, I\, I love hearing stories like that with these tiny little tweaks. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yep. And this idea of [00:16:00] asking\, “Are you a veteran\, or have you served?” has such broader impacts because it basically tells the person asking it\, do you have an increased likelihood to have been through trauma? \nThat’s the question behind the question for me. And granted\, there’s lifetime prevalence\, rates of trauma and people that haven’t served have certainly been through trauma. They’ve had car accidents\, they’ve had\, you know\, their parents have divorced\, they’ve had all manner of traumatic things happen to them\, and I would not downplay that\, but our military and veteran population. \nWe know if we ask that question\, have you worn the uniform? There is probably a good likelihood that you’ve deployed\, that you’ve been exposed to combat\, and that you’ve had extended periods of family separation. So that then allows me\, if I ask it to respond to you in a certain way\, like a trauma-informed way. \nAnd so I\, I love your example. That’s a beautiful one. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Thank you for sharing that Keita. That really leads well into kind of what we were hoping to talk about next is\, you know\, sharing that in terms of the past and where we are at the present. But [00:17:00] as you look to the future and\, you know\, you have been in this work for so long. \nI know you’ve seen quite an evolution in terms of care\, but where do you see the future of public health and mental health programming for military families specifically? And are there any like\, emerging trends or practices or innovations that particularly excite you or that you’re looking forward to continuing on and growing? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: I have loved over the years the push for support for caregivers. We know people go to their significant other first\, right? They\, I wish as a social worker that when people were struggling\, they just like came to me first ’cause boy\, like I could help them and\, you know\, have I have\, I got some evidence-based practices for you and you know\, let’s get some going on policy and all things\, but they go to their significant others and they go to their family members and they go to their caregivers. \nSo the more in the last\, you know\, five\, six years\, recognizing who is a caregiver\, what are the roles of caregivers? How do we support caregivers so they can better support the service member or the veteran? And then how do we support them so they can also better support themselves? I. [00:18:00] Because when they’re doing better\, they’re like a barometer of the family\, the service member and the veteran does better. \nAnd so this like holistic\, the push for that over the last few years by key organizations in the nonprofit sector\, I’ve greatly appreciated that. And I think if we were looking into the future\, we would also be thinking more about special populations. Whether it’s those living in rural areas or you know\, those with three kids under the age of three\, you know\, or just unique subpopulations that we could focus on in the context of the whole family approach\, particularly with today’s military. And I think the latest data\, like over 70% live off base. So how do we do that and honor it in an off base kind of way? Not in a way that says come to the base between 8 and 5\, or 7:30 to 4:30\, right? Like\, how do we do that in a way that says it’s okay if you wanna get your respite care at the local YMCA because we have an MOU with them and we realize that you might need some respite and we realize they’re open [00:19:00] on Saturday mornings and you know\, like how do we further extend some of that work? \nAlso subsequent to that\, despite the fact of the incredible turmoil\, tragedies and struggles that happened during covid\, one of the good things\, and I know both of you know this\, Kalin\, is just the\, the focus on tele\, tele and virtual platforms that came out of Covid for our field at a rate and pace\, like faster than it ever would’ve come. \nI was a part of the care delivery system for years where people said\, you know\, we can’t treat people struggling with suicide risk on a virtual environment because they’re at home. What does that mean? If they’re at home and they\, um\, they have a suicide risk and I’m treating them and it’s sort of like\, well\, it means they’re at home. \nIt means you might have to assess their environment for safety. It means you might have to see do they have a caregiver nearby? Like it means a lot of things\, but we have to still do it. And so the ability to like use Telemental health platforms to use a word in field\, meet people where they are\, that’s gonna be part of the future. \nAnd then adding on like AI tools to that. [00:20:00] I’m definitely a big believer in how do we advance technology into our field because\, you know\, we don’t have enough providers to meet the need. And if we just bank on\, like pumping out new providers as fast as we can through every university in the nation and we bank on\, like training them on evidence-based practices as fast as we can and quality checking their work as best as we like\, we’re still not gonna get there at one point. \nI might have thought earlier in my career that that would happen. I would read\, they’re graduating 1500 therapists out of X\, Y\, Z program. I’m like\, okay\, that’s gonna put a dent. It’s not like we have to like bring in technology to make it so that people can do a certain amount of help maybe on their own or they can like advance use of self-help tools\, advanced use of chat bots\, advanced use of technology that is like an adjunct to care\, not the main care\, but like in between sessions you could access these platforms and do these things to help. \n15 minutes alone we know is like by in a hot – if you’ve ever been in therapy\, [00:21:00] like it goes by so fast. So like when you have these tools that you can use outside that are technology driven and science based\, like\, I think that’s gonna be part of the future. And although the adoption of it will take time\, you see it happening. \nI personally wish it was happening faster than it is\, but these things take time and they have to be well studied and they have to be pilot tested and all that. We know that goes with that. Right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. And I’m curious\, I know we’re talking mostly mental health\, so I’m just curious about the connection to like county-based departments of health and human services and like where they also plug in off base in this off base manner. \nI see so much potential and opportunity for maybe a little bit more\, and that would be with maybe starting with those intakes of like\, are you a veteran or a military service member or reserve guard. But I’m curious about whether if you see anything in\, in that area\, um\, a connection between\, I guess\, more people accessing care and help [00:22:00] through those kinds of offices. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: You know\, I know for a fact that the military has long had an approach towards doing that\, particularly in the programs that you spoke about\, Caitlyn Family Advocacy has always had a push towards collaborating with local Department of Health and Human Services through MOAs and MOUs. I always think that’s good. \nThey should be codified with formal agreements. They should also regularly meet to build trust. Like agencies have to know each other. You shouldn’t be like meeting them in the hot minute that you’re trying to do a referral. Yeah. ’cause it’ll be clumsy and bumpy. Like you need to like have the relationship in place. \nWell before you have to make the referral. They should almost like test the process. Like do a drill of it. Like\, all right\, I have to make a referral. Like\, let’s see how this works. Do they really\, does it\, does the warm handoff work? Like evaluate effectiveness of the. Their participation in the system\, so to speak. \nBut I think above and beyond child protective\, like you’re right\, like I gave this example of the YMCA\, but it’s like how do we help bring the whole community\, [00:23:00] you know? Together in a way to build the capacity for all of them to do their part. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: To serve military. So we have to like train them. We have to bring them on base and make sure they know our plight\, they know our mission. \nWe have to do something for them too. Right. It can’t just be a. Like a one way relationship too. Like how can we help you? Can we offer you something on\, you know\, trauma informed or can we include you in on something that we’re doing\, like the partnership work. I say there’s a science to that too\, and it does take time and energy and um\, a lot of follow through and trust building. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Absolutely. And I think also a lot of education too. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yes. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: In some areas\, right? Where maybe they’re hundreds of miles from the nearest installation\, and so don’t think of themselves as serving military families when they very well could be or\, and probably are. Yes. That’s a question that I’m always kind of pondering\, like how can we educate but also partner at the same time? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: I mean\, if we say 200\,000 or so\, people [00:24:00] leave the military every year. I know that figure ebbs and flows\, but like think about that figure and then where they go. There probably is every community in America\, right? Like probably just some veteran population and or recently transitioned military member. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yeah. And I think it speaks also to the importance of peer support because one of the things we know is that with military populations and veterans in particular\, like they’re very good at helping their own. And so like if we can have these community-based resources that embed peer support\, we’re like battle buddies. \nYes. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Just to reflect on also what I’m hearing you all say. I think too\, like looking to the future\, there’s a lot of opportunity for creativity to come into play\, especially like with AI and the possibilities there and working together to kind of identify what those deeds may be and how we can maybe use the resources that we now have that we maybe didn’t have before\, especially post. \nCovid\, right? Where there’s been a growth in virtual [00:25:00] resources and availability of services. So I just wanted to reflect on that a little bit and\, that just gets me excited for the creative part of it and really working together to think\, think of alternative routes that maybe as a practitioner you haven’t thought of before\, but the opportunities are there in a new way and growing as you know\, that AI and integrating that into systems is evolving right now. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: I think you’re right. And how exciting of a time that like\, as a practitioner in the field\, that you get to be creative\, that you can innovate and you can get help for your service delivery. \nLike you’re not in it alone. You can have a tool that double checks\, what do I do? I wanna deliver CBT and I’m stuck. What would be some tips? And like you can get that info fast versus like in the day having to like really rely on your own knowledge. That took a long time to build and a long time to cultivate. \nUse tools like this is also\, I think you bring up a good point that you remind me about related to just burnout for [00:26:00] the field. When you’re able to use these tools\, it likely helps you with burnout\, prevention. We’re not trying to lose people in the field. We want to keep them and we need to equip them and support them and\, and AI can be part of the toolbox for that. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I was just working on an episode on compassion resilience. For that reason\, we want to avoid burnout. Right. We don’t wanna lose \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: our good \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: people. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: You’re right. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Right. Well\, and speaking of not losing our good people\, like what words do you have for professionals hoping to make a difference in the field of public health and mental health for military members and their families? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: You know\, one of the things I share with people is just I try to make sure they know. The work is complex. This is not easy work in any way. Like\, some of the stuff we’ve talked about today\, like staying on top of the literature\, knowing how to analyze data\, knowing how to use that for like\, even the direct care work. \nI say even like that’s the most important part of the equation\, right? It’s complex work\, but it’s so worth it. [00:27:00] It is so\, so worth it\, like when you’re doing it and you see a change in people when you see a small thing that you did get them on a trajectory that changes the rest of their life because of an intervention. \nYou know\, there’s been a push towards\, and I’ve been researching quite a bit lately on single session therapy\, single session interventions\, right. We say short term solution focus\, four to six sessions\, whatever. But to the extent that there’s this new and emerging evidence on single session work\, it just speaks to the power of a small point in time\, getting people on track for changing their life\, which then has spillover effects for the next stage of their life and the next stage and the\, the way they raise their children and how they participate in their family. \nI just think that it’s worth it. It’s like hard\, complex work. That’s also super rewarding and definitely worth the work that you put into it. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Thank you. And on that note\, that works out seamlessly in terms of\, we were really wanting to know\, you know\, [00:28:00] with your\, all of your both personal and professional experience\, and it may be\, this may be a hard question\, but can you like\, identify the most rewarding part of your work and\, and all that you’ve done\, Dr. Franklin\, where do you find that reward at really at the end of the day and to avoid burnout for you and you know\, just what really anchors you in that? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: I mean\, I feel like for one thing\, I’ve never felt like work is work. I have never felt like work is work like and\, and I feel so fortunate and even now I have a 22 and a 26-year-old and I’m advising them\, right? \n“Pursue a career where work does not feel like work.” I’ve not woken up on a single day and felt like\, oh my gosh\, I’ve gotta go to work. Never had that feeling. And I do think it is\, it drives me and is rewarding to see a system that is maybe not working so well reach its full potential on behalf of the clients it’s serving. \nLike\, incredibly rewarding\, like hard to put words around the level of reward. And so like whether that’s like trying to [00:29:00] do the buildup of mental health programming in the middle of the war effort to try to pull down the dollars\, to stand up the programs\, to get it working in a cohesive way so that people aren’t falling through the cracks is energy. \nLike none other. Like I truly like\, I believe that. And at the same time I do know\, like it is\, like I said\, complex and hard work. I’ve tried over the years to like be very good about having a good support system. My own self\, both professionally and personally\, where I\, I like sometimes almost feel like I have to pinch myself. \nI’m just like\, I’ve been so lucky\, even as a military spouse and traveling around from base to base\, being able to. At least have one or two of those relationships that stay with me and have been like\, like just incredible supports for like days when the system is just get\, trying to get the best of me and it does happen. \nSo the support system is one I’ve used. And then I think I’ve also just like a absolutely love being like around the water. And so that’s been\, you know\, like outdoor [00:30:00] nature\, water has been a big one. And I\, I like to write and so like I took on a pet project. Probably the last year I wrote this children’s book about belongingness and it’s for little kids like four to seven\, but I like it was self-published\, so it was like totally not a big deal in the larger world of things. \nBut it was a fun pet project of mine about thinking through concepts like kindness and belongingness through the eyes of a child and how do we teach that to our youngest and start ’em early on\, just being good to each other. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: That is an excellent topic. I did a little bit of study on bullying\, on workplace bullying a while back\, and like\, I think the\, the number at the time\, I don’t know what it is now\, but it was something like 30% of kids who were bullies become a bullies as adult in the office. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: So just repeat those patterns and if we can like teach ’em early\, just like the power of kindness\, of\, you know\, smiling and being a good person. It’s [00:31:00] a concept. Why am I saying something so simple but so important? \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: So I feel like you may have already done this\, but I want to give you a chance if you had something specific with you\, you just shared a whole bunch of great practices and things that you do that help support you. \nDo you have a very specific personal practice that helps with your own mental health and wellbeing\, readiness and resilience? Now\, you shared a bunch\, but do you have like one that you brought with you to share besides writing a children’s book\, which is a great idea. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yes. And again\, this is such a basic thing that I\, I do. \nAnd anyone who knows me well knows I do it. For one\, I definitely go to sleep early. I’m just an early to sleep person and I wake up early. I wake up before anybody else because I want a little quiet time with a cup of tea. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: And that then I feel grounded. And it’s not because of the caffeine ’cause I’ll grab like a mint medley\, decaf. \nIt’s not that I’m. Searching for the caffeine\, although I certainly have my share of\, you know\, black tea and Diet Coke and all manner of caffeine\, [00:32:00] but I appreciate like having the quiet time with a cup of tea and gather my thoughts before I start the day and the days when I don’t do that\, I notice I have rocky days\, like they’re bumpy and clumsy and I’m playing ketchup and I feel off kilter. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, thank you so much for that. That’s a\, I mean\, go to bed early. I have to say\, as I get older\, I am realizing that I tend to go to bed earlier than I used to. So\, I think and I feel great when I do\, and so like I can confirm. That is a great practice. Thank you so much. It’s simple though\, right? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: It’s so simple that we probably like feel silly even talking about it on this podcast\, right? \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: And no\, I\, I appreciate you noting that too ’cause I just\, I think I would be remiss not to also kind of tie that back into your suicide prevention work\, Keita. ’cause I know that one of the emerging\, you know\, topics that we’re talking about around suicide prevention is the importance of sleep\, right? \nIn terms of setting those routines for folks. Yeah. And if their sleep is disruptive\, that could possibly be a vulnerability factor that [00:33:00] indicates larger issues. So I think that’s true. A really great example of like small things\, but really that have those huge impacts and especially in prevention and\, yes\, just things to keep a watch out for in terms of destruction of patterns and really prioritizing sleep and rest in a way that is so important to the overall holistic approach that we’ve been talking about. \nSo I appreciate that. \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: Yeah\, and particularly for providers\, they should not feel for practitioners that you all work with. Like\, don’t feel bad if you go to bed early\, that’s okay. If you’re getting your sleep\, like there’s no guilt in like deciding that 7 or 8 is your time. That’s okay. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: Thank you so much for joining us. \nThis has been a fabulous conversation and it’s always lovely to connect with you\, Keita. And the last question I’ll ask you is\, can you share where folks can connect with you or maybe follow you? I don’t know if LinkedIn or maybe Leitos\, anywhere like that. Could you just share where folks can maybe follow your work or connect with you? \nDR. KEITA FRANKLIN: For sure\, on LinkedIn is a great spot. I’m also [00:34:00] at keita.franklin@leidos.com and that is a good way to reach me. And you know\, we’re doing some incredibly mission-focused work with the Department of Defense and with military and veterans\, trying to create good outcomes for behavioral health too. So I’m always open to collaborating and chatting with other people that have similar goals and similar ideas and wanna pursue some conversations like that. \nThanks for asking. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We’d love to hear what you’ve been thinking about and what’s inspiring you. You can share that with us by clicking the Send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. \nIf you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. We can’t wait to hear from you. \nKALIN GOBLE MATHIS: We’d like to thank our co-producer\, Coral Owen\, Maggie Lucas\, and Joyce Vaughn for their help with marketing and Nathan Grim who composed and performed all of the music you hear on the podcast. \nWe hope you’ll listen again [00:35:00] soon. Thank you for joining us\, and until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/policy-practice-and-compassion-in-mental-health-with-dr-keita-franklin/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/qtq80-1RzJYL.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250327
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250328
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250327T143510Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20251013T163302Z
UID:10001571-1743033600-1743119999@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Say Yes to Yourself: Build Compassion Resilience with Healthy Boundaries
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjg2MTMwMCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY4NjEzMDAtc2F5LXllcy10by15b3Vyc2VsZi1idWlsZC1jb21wYXNzaW9uLXJlc2lsaWVuY2Utd2l0aC1oZWFsdGh5LWJvdW5kYXJpZXMuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjg2MTMwMCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 13) \nStruggling to balance caring for others with caring for yourself? In this second installment of our three part series on building compassion resilience\, we explore how setting compassionate boundaries can help you maintain your well-being while supporting military families effectively. \nIn the second installment of our compassion resilience series\, Jessica delves into the art of setting compassionate boundaries. \nLearn about different types of boundaries\, understand their connection to empathy\, and discover practical tips for establishing and maintaining healthy limits in your professional and personal life. \nLinks\n\n\n\nRogers Behavioral Health Compassion Resilience Toolkit\n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and today we’re continuing our series on compassion resilience by diving into a crucial skill: setting compassionate boundaries. \nAs a service provider\, nonprofit\, or community leader\, you’re often in the position of giving your all to support others\, but without clear boundaries\, this dedication can lead to burnout. \nToday we’ll explore how setting compassionate boundaries can help you maintain your wellbeing while still providing excellent support to families and those we serve. \nLet’s start by understanding what we mean by boundaries. Boundaries are basically the limits and rules that we set for ourselves in relationships\, both personal relationships and professional relationships. \nThey help us protect our time\, energy\, and emotional wellbeing. The Compassion Resilience toolkit by Rogers in health outlines three main types of boundaries. The first is permeable boundaries. These are boundaries that are set but not well enforced. They’re kind of like a fence with too many gaps. \nThen there are rigid boundaries. Rigid boundaries might protect us\, but they can also leave us closed off to new ideas and new perspectives\, and make us seem a little bit unapproachable. \nThen we have flexible boundaries. These are the sweet spot. They’re clear and enforced\, yet they leave us open to new perspectives and effectively protect us from harm. \nNow\, you might be wondering\, because we’ve been talking about compassion\, isn’t setting boundaries a little bit at odds with being compassionate? Well actually\, boundaries and empathy go hand in hand. Both are crucial in our work supporting others. By setting clear boundaries\, we ensure we have the emotional energy to truly empathize with those we serve. \nSo how do we identify our boundaries? Well\, an activity in the Compassion Resilience toolkit that I really love is a set of three questions. You can start by completing them\, but I would recommend that you complete these three statements several times for each statement. Think of five or six or seven different ideas\, or more if you’d like\, to start to identify what your boundaries are. \nSo the three statements are: I have the right to ask for… The second one is\, To protect my time and energy\, it’s okay to… And then the third one is\, People may not…\, and fill in that blank. What do you not want people to do? \nAnd going back to the other two questions\, what do you need that you feel like you should have the right to ask for? And\, what is it okay for you to do\, in order to protect your time and energy. Is it that it’s okay for you to end your day every day at 4:30 PM or 5:00 PM? Whatever that means to you. Set up several statements\, and fill these statements out several times. “I have the right to ask for\, to protect my time and energy\, it’s okay to\,” and\, “people may not…” \nOkay\, so take a moment to think about how you’d fill in those blanks. These answers will give you insight into the boundaries that are important to you. \nSo now let’s talk about setting compassionate boundaries. It’s not different than setting boundaries in general. To me\, it’s just a really great way to think about setting boundaries in ways that help you communicate to others. \nHere are some tips. Know your yes. What are your yeses? So this is about understanding your values and priorities. What do you want to say yes to in your life? What behaviors do you want to exhibit? What are your priorities? If you don’t know\, then explore these questions and continue to come back to them and refine\, change or modify them. \nAnother tip is to be proactive. Schedule time to reflect on and discuss your boundaries\, both with yourself and with others. With others\, you can schedule meetings to discuss boundaries\, and this also offers them a chance to voice their boundaries. And then for yourself\, you can schedule a meeting with yourself for reflection or journaling on your boundaries. \nI recommend to revisit them and review them often. \nAnother tip is to just go ahead and say it. Don’t make people guess. Communicate clearly and directly about your needs. So when I teach about trust and how to communicate about it\, I always like to remind people that when we don’t voice what we need from others to build that trust\, we are unintentionally playing games with them. \nI mean\, I normally love games\, but in this case\, I recommend not playing them. So communicate clearly\, don’t make people guess. \nAnother tip is to address violations of your boundaries promptly\, right? Point out boundary crossings as they happen. You can have some phrases ready for common situations. Maybe there are some boundaries that commonly get violated\, so if you have some phrases in your back pocket that you can kind of take out and start using in the middle of these situations\, you’ll become more and more practiced at it. \nAnother tip is to frame your boundaries in ways that matter to others\, and then offer some shared solutions. And then finally\, back yourself up. Follow through with actions that support your stated boundaries. Otherwise\, it invites people to continue to ignore your needs. \nOkay\, now let’s try a practice to help you set a compassionate boundary. This activity is called very simply\, the “Boundary setting practice.” I wasn’t feeling very creative in this I guess! The first step is to identify one area in your work or personal life where you feel your boundaries are unclear or often crossed. \nThen step two\, write down a clear\, compassionate boundary for this situation. Use one of the sentence starters we discussed. “I have the right to… to protect my time and energy.” “It’s okay to\,” or\, “People may not…”\, right. Fill in the blanks. \nStep three\, plan how you’ll communicate this boundary to the relevant people that you need to communicate it with. Remember to be clear\, kind\, and explain why it matters. \nAnd then step four\, commit to enforcing this boundary for one week. Notice how it affects your wellbeing and your ability to support others. \nI’d love to hear how this practice goes for you. Share your experience or any insights you gain on our LinkedIn community. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you found this episode helpful\, please leave us a review and share it with a colleague or friend. For more resources and tools\, visit us at oneop.org. Until next time\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/say-yes-to-yourself-with-healthy-boundaries/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/qtq80-Y2ryZv.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250320
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250321
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250320T204124Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250407T131829Z
UID:10001564-1742428800-1742515199@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Building Your Compassion Resilience
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjgyNDQxNyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY4MjQ0MTctYnVpbGRpbmcteW91ci1jb21wYXNzaW9uLXJlc2lsaWVuY2UuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjgyNDQxNyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 12) \nService providers often face emotionally demanding work\, which can lead to compassion fatigue or burnout. In this episode\, Jessica introduces the concept of compassion resilience—the ability to maintain empathy and strength while supporting others. You’ll learn key strategies to build resilience and a practical reflection exercise to help you process your day\, celebrate small wins\, and prioritize self-care. \nLinks\n\nRogers Behavioral Health Compassion Resilience Toolkit\nCompassion Fatigue Cycle\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica\, and today we’re kicking off a three-part series on compassion resilience. If you are a service provider\, or if you work in any field that serves families\, communities\, or the public\, you know how rewarding and how emotionally demanding this work can be. \nCompassion resilience is the ability to maintain your empathy and strength\, even in the face of others suffering. It’s not just about surviving the challenges of your role\, it’s about thriving in it. \nSo today I’ll share what compassion resilience is\, why it matters\, and a simple practice you can start using today to build it. \nFirst\, let’s spend a moment just defining compassion resilience. It’s the ability to consistently care deeply for others while also protecting your own wellbeing. It’s not about becoming numb or detached. It’s about finding ways [00:01:00] to stay connected to your empathy without letting it drain you. \nFor service providers\, compassion\, resilience is especially important. You’re often working with families navigating complex challenges. It’s easy to absorb their stress and their emotions\, which can lead to compassion fatigue. And recognizing compassion fatigue can sometimes be difficult until you’re right in the thick of it. \nI attended a training on compassion resilience a few years ago from Roger’s Behavioral Health that used a chart of cats with\, cats of all things\, with different looks on their faces to represent the compassion fatigue cycle. \nI’ll include a link to that resource in the show notes\, and also link to the full Compassion Resilience toolkit. They have toolkits for educators\, health and human services\, and parents and caregivers. \nSo understanding the stages of compassion fatigue can help you understand what you need to do to minimize the impact on yourself. I’ll just quickly go through those now and\, and [00:02:00] summarize them a little bit\, but I recommend going to the show notes and grabbing the full resource. \nSo the first stage is the zealot or idealist. This is where you are committed\, you’re excited about the work you’re doing. You’re ready to problem solve and put in extra hours. You volunteer and someone says\, “Hey\, I\, I need something.” You’re like\, “I’ll do it!” You’re excited about the work\, right? \nThe next stage is irritability\, right? You start to notice the imperfections of the systems you’re working with and the imperfections of the people that you’re working with. \n  \nThe next one is withdrawal. This is where you’re now unable to kind of navigate and embrace the complexity of the issues that you are dealing with\, through your clients\, through your work. You might start to lose your ability to see clients as individuals\, as individual human beings\, right? They kind of become inconveniences or [00:03:00] irritants. \nThe next stage is zombie. This is where that kind of irritation might turn to rage\, right? You start to maybe even hate people. It’s very strong language\, these are very strong feelings. You might even hate your coworkers\, and people just start to look incompetent or ignorant\, and you might not be engaging in things that you used to find fun or humorous. Those things are just starting to not be as present in your life\, and it might feel like you can never do enough. \nThen the last stage is renewal versus pathology. So you might come to a fork in the road where you either continue deeper into your compassion fatigue\, and maybe come to the point where it feels like you want to leave your profession. Or you may have changed positions and repeated the same cycle. The other fork in the road is\, taking a turn toward renewal\, resiliency\, and [00:04:00] transformation. \nSo one of the wonderful things about this is that at any stage in this cycle\, the zealot\, irritability\, withdrawal\, zombie\, and renewal versus pathology; in any stage you can learn skills and mindsets that kind of change your trajectory toward compassion resilience. \nSo\, how do we build compassion\, resilience? You know\, there’s a lot of different ways. I’m just going to focus on a few right now. First\, set realistic expectations. Recognize that you can’t solve every problem or fix every situation. Focus on what’s within your control and celebrate small wins. \nNext is practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer others\, and when you’re feeling overwhelmed\, remind yourself that it’s okay to take a step back and care for yourself. \nYou know\, with this self-compassion\, one of the things that has helped me the [00:05:00] most is when I’m starting to have negative self-talk\, I really like to think about\, I’ve got a few friends who are my biggest cheerleaders. And I really like to have their voice in my head. And I like to ask myself\, you know\, “What would they say to me right now?” And then that always\, I would say that almost always anyway\, has an immediate effect on me. A positive effect. \n  \nOkay\, and then reflect and recharge. Regularly take time to reflect on your experiences and recharge your emotional energy. Now\, let’s try a practice to put this into action. Let’s just call it the compassion\, resilience\, reflection. Here’s how it works. At the end of your workday\, take five minutes\, just five minutes to reflect on three questions. \n  \nFirst\, what went\, well today. I’d like to call this my good job list. Instead of a task list\, I write down a good job list\, but however you wanna answer this is fine with you. So the first is what [00:06:00] went well today? Number two\, what challenged me and how did I handle it? And I would add to that\, What did I learn about how I handled it? You know\, what did I learn from how I can handle this again in the future? \nAnd then three\, what’s one thing I can do to care for myself tonight? This simple exercise can help you process your day\, celebrate small wins\, and prioritize self-care. It’s a practical way to start building compassion resilience in your daily life. \nSo compassion resilience isn’t just a “nice to have.” It’s essential for anyone in a caregiving or support role. By setting realistic expectations\, practicing self compassion and reflecting on your experiences\, you can continue to make a difference without burning out. \nThis week\, I encourage you to try the compassion resilience reflection at the end of each workday. Let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear your experiences. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. [00:07:00] If you enjoyed this episode\, please leave us a review and click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a colleague or friend. For more resources and tools\, visit us@oneop.org. \nWe’ll be back next week with a new episode\, exploring compassion resilience. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/building-your-compassion-resilience/
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SUMMARY:More than a Meal: Building Community and Resilience with Chef Mary Long
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjc2NjIwOSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY3NjYyMDktbW9yZS10aGFuLWEtbWVhbC1idWlsZGluZy1jb21tdW5pdHktYW5kLXJlc2lsaWVuY2Utd2l0aC1jaGVmLW1hcnktbG9uZy5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2NzY2MjA5JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 11) \nHow can a kitchen become a hub for resilience and connection? \nIn this episode of Practicing Connection\, hosts Jessica Beckendorf and Bethany Daugherty welcome Chef Mary Long\, a culinary health and resiliency instructor at the U.S. Army North Vogel Resiliency Center. Mary’s work focuses on using cooking classes to connect service members and their families with mindfulness and nutrition-focused outcomes. From heart-healthy meals to anti-inflammatory cooking\, Mary’s classes are more than just recipes—they’re a pathway to resilience and community. Tune in as Mary shares her journey\, the magic behind her teaching kitchen\, and a popular recipe that’s a hit with her participants. Plus\, she offers practical advice for starting similar programs\, even without a teaching kitchen. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation that blends food\, connection\, and resilience! \nLinks\n\nJoint Base San Antonio\, Vogel Resiliency Center\n\n[/vc_column_text][image_with_animation image_url=”197631″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello\, welcome to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf\, and I’m so excited today to be working with a guest\, co-host and incredible OneOp colleague\, Bethany Daugherty. Welcome to Practicing Connection Bethany\, would you mind introducing yourself? Because this is your first time on the show\, period! \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Hey Jessica. Thank you. Yes\, it is my first time on the show. I’m so happy to be here. My name’s Bethany Daugherty and I’m a program coordinator for OneOp. I work with the nutrition and wellness collaboration team\, and we work on providing professional development opportunities for military connected registered dieticians\, health educators\, public health professionals\, and extension educators. \nSo I’m happy to be here. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well welcome again here and we have you all the way as a co-host. We didn’t even have you on as a guest first\, but that’s coming soon\, I hope. [00:01:00] Our guest today is Chef Mary Long. Mary is a chef and instructor of Culinary Health and Resiliency at the US Army North Vogel Resiliency Center at Fort Sam Houston. \nShe’s a classically trained chef and graduate of the Culinary Institute of San Antonio\, where she received her BS in Culinary Management. How many times can I mess up the word culinary? (laughs) Mary is also the liaison and coordinator for the Food Insecurity Project at Joint Base San Antonio with the San Antonio Food Bank. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: And for those listeners who maybe don’t know\, OneOp has a large food and nutrition security content library that we’ve been curating over the last few years\, and I was introduced to Chef Mary through a webinar she recently presented for OneOp on her food security work at Joint Base San Antonio. Mary teaches a variety of cooking classes at the Vogel Resiliency Center to service members and their [00:02:00] families on the topics of heart healthy cooking\, instant pot classes\, anti-inflammatory cooking\, and mindful meals\, and many more that Mary will tell us about today. \nAnd the goal of the Teaching Kitchen is to make connections through organized classes with mindfulness and nutrition focused outcomes. Hi Mary. Thanks for joining us for Practicing Connection Today. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Thank you so much Bethany. I am so excited to join you both here today\, and thank you for inviting me to the discussion. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: And before we begin\, can you clear up\, is it culinary\, culinary\, culinary? (tries different pronunciations) \nCHEF MARY LONG: You know\, I have heard all three. Traditionally just in school and all\, we said “cue-linary.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yes\, “cue-linary.” Okay. \nCHEF MARY LONG: I accept all. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, I think I said it all three of those ways actually. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: That’s really good to know\, yeah. I have so enjoyed getting to know you over the last few [00:03:00] months as we prepared for the webinar and just am in awe of the work that you’re doing. It’s so interesting and so impactful\, so the audience can get to know you better. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and how that’s prepared you for the work that you do? \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. I did grow up here in San Antonio\, Texas\, and as I grew up\, I lived near three of the five military bases that were part of the local military community before Joint Base was formed. And my love for cooking and sharing with others about how to make a meal stretch. And how to cook\, just basic cooking skills was embraced and sought after by the young military families with children that I was serving when I was also a daycare worker and then daycare director outside of Lackland Air Force Base in the 1990s. \nSo as I continued to raise my own family and then volunteer with organizations\, such as [00:04:00] Meals on Wheels with the San Antonio Food Bank and also Angel Food Ministries\, this was a ministry that had food boxes that people could buy for about half the cost of what they would receive in the grocery store. \nAnd I would make healthy recipes to help them along because sometimes some of the items enclosed in those boxes were a little different and they weren’t too sure of what to do with them. And so just organically the experience occurred where we would have cooking sessions there at the preschool\, and not only were they able to learn some new ideas on what to do with that\, but there was a connection that was made even then with some of the spouses whose. \nYou know\, their military member was deployed at the time\, and so we just had that time of family and connection over a meal. Even then\, those experiences along with my culinary background as a chef and trainer for both Kroger and Colorado\, and then the HEB corporation in Texas [00:05:00] both allowed me. To share with the customers and the students ways to make healthy meal choices\, as well as understanding that the food cost and the ability to cook may be barriers for some of them. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Can you tell us a little bit about Joint Base San Antonio and the Vogel Resiliency Center? \nCHEF MARY LONG: Definitely. The Vogel opened as the Vogel Resiliency Center in 2018\, and it was created to provide a health and wellness program for Joint Base San Antonio and the community. We empower individuals\, families\, and organizations by exploring both mind\, body and spirit lifestyle changes through our partners\, and we do have several partners that are in-house. We serve active duty dependents\, retirees\, and all department of defense civilians as well\, and there’s also guard and reserve members of course\, as well. All of our services are provided without [00:06:00] a fee. \nAnd the resiliency kitchen\, which is where I get to have the opportunity to offer the hands-on culinary classes and team building experiences that we offer that really enhance also life skills. As Jessica mentioned\, I’m also the coordinator and liaison with the San Antonio Food Bank for the Food Insecurity Project at JBSA\, Fort Sam Houston. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I am curious about some of the things you mentioned that in those boxes that people would get that were a little bit different and you had to show them what they could do with those items. Do you have an example of an item that is often maybe donated in boxes like that and people are like\, “What? What do I do with this?” \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. I mean\, it was something even as simple as maybe a protein they weren’t used to\, but one example that comes to mind was chickpeas\, or garbanzo beans. There were a lot of folks that\, when we had that come in\, sometimes in the canned goods\, things like that\, that they didn’t [00:07:00] know what to do with that. \nThey weren’t familiar with it in the culture and time that they experienced cooking\, maybe from\, you know\, their time growing up. And so it wasn’t a part of what they considered a food that would be open for their family to try. So that’s where creating that meal\, creating a snack with the items in hand\, right there on hand\, allowed them to try it so that it\, they wouldn’t go home and basically either not do anything with it at all or just give it away. And we wanted to create a time for them where they were receiving these items because there wasn’t a choice. It was like\, here’s the box where they felt successful in\, in going home and having food to serve their family. And a lot of it was just education on those things like that. But it\, some things it was\, they might be familiar with the item\, but they just didn’t know how to cook with it. They didn’t know how to prepare it. So it was a balance of those things. [00:08:00]\nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Or like maybe beyond like the box instructions\, if there\, if it’s in a box or whatever\, but where you could do so much more with it. I imagine. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Right. Some of those items because the way they were packaged\, they were pulled apart from the packaging that they originally came in. So there might not even be cooking instructions on the box or the items ’cause they were separated into smaller packaging. \nSo it could even be just an education piece of\, “Okay\, they’ve given me this piece of meat or this thing\, what do I do with it? You know\, I don’t know how to debone and cut up a whole chicken.” Even something as simple as that. “I’m used to buying the chicken in pieces at the grocery store. How do I cut up this chicken\, and prepare it correctly.” So yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’ll be honest\, I don’t know how to cut up a whole chicken. Luckily my spouse does\, so this is a good\, great segue into learning more about the cooking classes that you teach at the Resiliency Center. So could you tell us a little bit more about those and why it’s so valuable to teach these classes? \nYou’ve already kind of given a couple of examples of why it’s valuable\, but [00:09:00] love to hear a little bit more about those classes. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. Well\, we do offer a variety of hands-on cooking cleanses. As you mentioned\, there’s an opportunity for those that are interested in learning basic culinary skills as well as for those who are seeking to learn more about new culinary skill sets\, whether it’s baking or healthy eating options. \nAnd these are all classes that are open to the general public so they can. Take a class like Instapot Cooking or Heart Healthy Recipes 101. We do have a plant-based cooking class that was actually grown out of interest from students that I had that were attending maybe the heart healthy classes\, and they wanted to really expand their knowledge on what whole food cooking could look like. \nAnd so this is not a vegan class because we might still use eggs or cheese\, and other things like that. But it does give an opportunity for them [00:10:00] to have that cooking. We also offer classes like Baking 101 and Anti-Inflammatory Cooking for Life. The meal prep class that I offer is very popular\, as well as cooking on a budget\, which gives folks not only quick and easy recipe ideas\, but also ways to really look at how to change it up a little bit. \nWhether we are looking at buying that cheese now in bulk rather than shredded cheese\, and we actually shred cheese on hand because some folks have never shredded cheese. So it’s another way to introduce the skill set along with the idea kids get to join in. We have kids and parents cooking classes that I offer as well as specialized classes for single soldiers. \nWho may live in the barracks and I’m currently working on a class to offer things like knife skills 101 as well as an intermediate kids class that older children and teens that are interested in culinary can attend as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:11:00] That is such a great variety. I’d love to hear about your participants. What surprises them? What stories do you have that illustrate the power of this work? \nBecause we’ve talked a little bit offline and I know that there’s some powerful stories that you have. I think\, you know\, when you have such a variety\, there’s a reason for that variety of classes and so yeah\, let’s hear a little bit about that. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. A part of what I offer as well are collaborations that I have with some of our entities that really came about from the beginning\, and one of them was with. Our outpatient rehabilitation class. That’s through the cardiology team at Brick Army Medical Center\, and they have an eight week class where students come together and they’ve had some type of heart injury. \nSo they’re\, they’ve either had heart surgery\, a heart attack\, and now they’re coming to this outpatient class to learn some new skills. And one of the things they get to do is come to the plant-based cooking 101 class at the Vogel. [00:12:00] And occasionally we’ve had some folks that have come\, and sometimes they bring a spouse along and they’re not quite sure about all these changes they’ve cooked for a long time\, or they’ve just lived for a long time\, and maybe they’re looking at all the nos that they’ve heard. \nAnd so one particular time I had a couple that came in and we were offering a plant-based chili recipe. And this was like Texas style chili\, but without the beef or even turkey or any of that\, not an animal protein. So we had lots of different beans\, lots of spices. Lots of peppers and onions and all the good stuff. \nBut the husband kept giving his spouse the side eye when she chose the chili recipe to begin with. And then as they were creating it\, and I’m saying things like\, “Don’t forget\, you’ve got tasting spoons. You’ve gotta taste this\, so we gotta make sure it tastes right.” He just kept looking around and not happy at all to be creating Texas Chili without Texas beef in it. So we finally sat down for our meal and we’re all\, you [00:13:00] know\, I give him a few minutes\, we’re tasting everything\, we’re enjoying\, and I hear him say\, “I can’t believe this. We’re gonna have to make this for the kids. And we can’t tell them what it is that there’s no meat in it ’cause they’re never gonna believe this\, but wow.” \nAnd it was one of those moments where he realized\, and he said at the end\, “I didn’t think this was gonna be any good\, but we can do this.” And so they’re cooking with the dash\, no sodium\, spices they’re creating with all these extra fresh vegetables and herbs and\, and really getting to try out some new things because that’s kind of my motto in here\, is\, “What can we add to make it delicious and eye appealing and fun?” \nNot all those things you might’ve heard from your health professional of what you can’t have because those are important. But what can we do to make this to where you’re gonna go home and embrace these changes and really go with it? And that was one fun story of that. I’ve also [00:14:00] just after the four years I’ve had working with\, uh\, building this culinary program is just sitting together and having a meal. \nThere’s something that they’ve created and the students have that sense of accomplishment\, so they have that connection that they’ve made maybe with another spouse. Maybe they just got here to JBSA and they’ve made a couple of friends in the class. They find out something\, maybe about a teammate. \nWhen we’ve had a team building where I’ve heard conversations like\, “I didn’t know you had kids\, and you know\, we’ve worked together.” But just something organically happens around the dinner table. This universal connection through food is what I’ve had the pleasure of guiding the military community through by offering these classes\, because we give that space for community\, but also for learning something new\, whether it’s technique or just maybe finding out a new way to do something with that broccoli that they’ve steamed the heck out of for years and now they’ve learned how to roast it and this\, the opportunities that we [00:15:00] have here is a way for people to just. \nMeet them where they’re at\, and then offer the opportunity and the space. It really is powerful. It’s really exciting. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and I feel like trying a new food or something that you’re skeptical of is a great way of kind of opening your mind a little. I know it seems like a small\, simple thing\, but it’s really a great way to kind of almost take on a new perspective. \nI grew up when I was a kid\, it was not the fault of my parents\, but I was an incredibly picky eater. And I only wanted\, you know\, macaroni and cheese pizza. I don’t\, and there was like a third thing on there that’s very typical\, like I didn’t want very much. And I ended up marrying into a family where my husband’s family\, like they had their entire backyard\, was a garden. \nAnd they\, like\, they grew all kinds of new and different things just for the joy of growing new and different things. And I’ve found that through experimentation\, I think that’s a another kind of fun thing that\, like you described in that [00:16:00] story with\, you know\, the spouse who came and was very skeptical and then he’s like\, “Oh\, whoa\, meatless chili not only can be good\, but we have to make this all the time.” \nLike there’s something that just unlocks a little bit\, I think when someone is open to that. I’m glad he tried it. \nCHEF MARY LONG: I was kind of worried ’cause he certainly was not happy to be making that dish. Yeah\, he was not happy. She chose that. I do allow everyone to\, when they pair up or when they’re there\, because each of the stations\, we have five stations\, so each one is making a different recipe. \nSo during a class. The students actually get to try at least four or five recipes because each of the stations is making something different. And then we played up on the education side where we have our tables and we sit down and have the meal together. So we’re getting to try all these different things together that were created by different groups. \nAnd then after we’ve eaten for a little bit\, I’ll say\, “Okay. Did anyone add a little extra garlic? What did we do? You [00:17:00] know\, maybe jazz it up a little differently\, chefs. How did you guys handle that?” And then we talk through any of those changes that way. So if you have those recipes at home\, no one says\, “Well\, mine doesn’t taste like that.” \nAnd that gives them an opportunity to also shine when everybody’s giving back the feedback of how great. That dish is\, and they really love how they did\, you know\, whatever they did to\, to jazz it up. And sometimes they’ll have some extra peppers out or some extra things that they’ll say\, “Chef\, can I add a little extra this in?” \nOr\, “I see those that you have here those roasted bell peppers\, can we throw that on top of the hummus?” And so we will\, I’ll give them that\, that leeway to make some changes and make it even better. That’s always fun too. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: And I also love how you talked about people are often hearing the things they need to take away from their normal eating pattern\, especially in the instance of someone who’s had a heart event and they’re being told a lot\, you know\, “Don’t eat this\, don’t eat this. Reduce your sodium.” And to kind [00:18:00] of reverse that messaging of “Here’s all these wonderful things that you can have and here are ways that you can prepare them.” \nIt’s really empowering. People often feel really tied to a recipe. If they’re not an experienced cook\, they think I have to follow this to a tea and be perfect with it\, right? And to give that freedom of\, you could make this how you want it to taste for you and\, and it can still fit within the health goals that you have. \nI think that’s really empowering. \nCHEF MARY LONG: I had\, one of my first students came in directly from a dietician class here in the\, in our center\, and she walked in and said\, “Chef\, I was told you cook and that you’re going to teach me how to cook because I just found out I have diabetes and I don’t know how to cook and I go out to eat. \nBut now I don’t trust these people to give me what I need to have and I don’t know what they put in a lot of my dishes. So we’re gonna work together on this.” And I was just\, “All right. [00:19:00] Yes ma’am. Let’s do this.” So she’s jumped in and the last two years has come to pretty much every class I’ve held\, and now calls herself my sous chef\, which I’m like\, yep\, you are. \nAnd she’s just the biggest advocate of standing up and sharing for yourself. What you need to do to make these things happen. And that helps a lot in the class because I don’t have to say\, you know\, okay\, well remember\, we still need to listen to your physician\, because she is always very vocal about\, “I come here and I learn\, but I still\, I took what my doctor had to say and then what chef showed me and put those things together. And now I’m able to cook at home and make sure I’m getting what I’m supposed to because I know what I’m putting in it when I cook it at home.” \nAnd that’s been really great to see how she came in from one side of saying\, I really don’t know what I’m doing\, to now feeling very confident and even assisting others in the classroom. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Such a great healthcare community partnership where [00:20:00] someone can leave their physician’s office or their dietician’s office and be given some advice that’s really helpful and really important to their health. Not knowing how to put it into action. And so this\, taking it a step further and getting the education and the experience to put it into action makes really impactful and meaningful health outcomes. \nSo I\, I think a lot of dieticians will be interested in hearing this podcast and\, and really appreciative of what you do. And I know from the webinar that you presented for one op that. We will link that webinar in the OneOp notes for those who might wanna go back and listen to that\, that people are interested in recreating what you’re doing at Joint Base San Antonio\, at their own installation or their own workplace\, but maybe don’t have the facility or the funding to start that. \nCan you recommend for those people in that situation\, maybe one small way that they could start [00:21:00] bridging that gap between providing advice and then helping folks\, putting it into action? \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. So I think really\, if you’re interested in starting some type of program to promote culinary health at your installation or workplace\, one of the things I would suggest is really starting by sharing your desire with leadership and establishing specific goals that you want to accomplish for your clients so that you have that basic outline of what do we want to do? to start with. \nAnd then from there\, collaborating with others from myself\, because I’m not a dietician or a nutritionist\, I\, from the beginning\, collaborated with folks like Army Public Health nurses\, in house dieticians that are here either at the Vogel or nearby. And then also being open to collaborate with other entities. \nMaybe that may not seem so obvious\, but that might have the same goals for their client’s health. So I work with the Soldier Recovery Unit. I also have some [00:22:00] collaboration with the Center for Intrepid. They have a group of Special Forces soldiers that come through once during their career and their very first day there together\, they get to come in with me into the kitchen. \nAnd it’s more of a time of getting to know one another and meal prep and connect than it is really techniques and learning any of that. But it’s a real important time for them and they really take a lot away from that because it’s their first opportunity to spend with one another. So just some of those things. \nAnd whether you’re using a space such as a barracks or a USO kitchen to video or share live\, you don’t need a full teaching kitchen like I have to demonstrate from\, but I have taken my show on the road with a pressure cooker and an induction top to the barracks or to the Center for Intrepid\, and I’m very happy also to answer any questions on how our program progressed. \nIf anyone wants to reach out to me further as well. But I really do recommend just starting from the beginning with some [00:23:00] specific basic goals on how you wanna get started and really collaborating and looking at ways to see if there are other health professionals that have the same sort of goals. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I’m curious\, Chef Mary\, do you have partnerships with some local nonprofits or like County Department of Health and Human Service offices or anything like that? \nCHEF MARY LONG: I do have a partnership with the San Antonio Food Bank through their Culinary Health for families. They offer this program to any individual that wants to be trained though\, they work directly with us because we do have the San Antonio Food Distribution each month\, and so that is one entity I have. \nThe folks from HEB Corporation have worked with us to offer not only funding because we don’t receive government funding for our food\, but also ways that they can come assist for things like spouses events. Things that we might offer to our military members and our veterans that are here [00:24:00] on JBSA Fort Sam Houston. \nBut most of the collaborations I have are with entities that are here internal on JBSA\, Fort Sam Houston that I work with for the most part. Well\, and those are super important. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. You should always be looking at that. I was just curious if you had some of those other relationships as well. \nCHEF MARY LONG: So I am a part of the Food Policy Council for San Antonio\, and that’s one of the things that I do kind of on my outside for myself\, but also to represent our military members and our military community. \nAnd it just happened that it was a part of something that I wanted to do\, but as I was the only person that involved that worked with the military community\, I kind of get to be the liaison and and representative for that as well. And that is a council that meets to discuss not only what’s happening in just the regular different economy of San Antonio with food\, but also in food insecurity [00:25:00] and ways that we have projects such as gardening\, projects that are happening throughout the city and different organizations that work closely with ensuring that our community is receiving food that’s healthy. \nChildren are able to have resources as well\, whether it’s weekend food distributions for them. So it’s something that I do outside of my position. But that I also enjoy being a part of. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wonderful. I’m curious as to that involvement. I know it’s outside of your role. Do you feel like you’ve been able to help the other people on that council understand the need around military families and if you see like sort of a\, there’s been a mutual benefit. \nCHEF MARY LONG: It really has because we’ve had a lot of discussion and actual. Interesting collaboration to where we’re looking at some things where from the outside civilian organizations don’t necessarily understand that food [00:26:00] insecurity is something that is a possibility with our service members\, because that isn’t something that has been highly discussed until very recently. \nAnd so the work that’s happening there is we’re actually looking at ways to have some. Food distributions through organizations that we have. We have a group that they work closely with the American Heart Association in providing even senior citizens and senior citizen centers where they can come in and have food distribution and a food popup and they can pick out their own fresh produce. \nAnd after listening to some information on heart health\, they get a good portion of that. Produce free. And so that’s a collaboration that we’re working on right now. So that’s something that we might be able to give to our military families as well and have access to write off a post. And that would be another resource in a way to get some fresh\, [00:27:00] healthy produce to our military members for free or for a lower price as well. \nSo that’s\, those are collaborations that are happening too. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Food insecurity is such a multifaceted issue that those relationship building skills and the ability to develop those collaborations with not only the clients that you serve\, but the people on post and the organizations off posts are just so important to addressing it from a multifaceted way. \nMary\, I’m just curious\, have you learned any lessons or have any tidbits that you wanna share with the audience about developing those relationships and really fostering those collaborations to make your program so impactful? \nCHEF MARY LONG: Well\, I know that one of the things right from the beginning that I learned was that those collaborations were not only impactful to the clients and the students that I have that join me in the classroom\, but also just [00:28:00] to be an helpful to open a wider lens of what these folks bring to the table with the resources that they have. From the beginning\, I had the Army public health nurse team that would come in and share community resources such as River City Produce that we have in San Antonio that is a produce depot\, and they offer the ability for you to come in and get a nice commodity of produce at a nice price for groups to get together. \nAnd so I’ll see on the spouse’s page now that we’ve shared these resources where spouses are getting together and saying\, “Come by my house. I have all these strawberries that I got\, you know\, a pallet\, you know\, or a case of for this much money\, and I’m willing to share.” \nOr going across the street to the other resource of Cheecha Boys\, which has double SNAP benefits. So if you go and buy the produce there\, you get double your bucks for fresh fruits and vegetables. And really offering those collaborative efforts from the beginning [00:29:00] opened up the ability to have the class\, not just be on the culinary skill set\, but offering those other parts of the collaboration. \nThose other folks that are joining in\, such as the dieticians from the pediatric team that come to my kids’ class and they bring in the resources for picky eaters. And I have parents that said\, “I just never thought of\, you know\, looking at it from this side\, whether it’s the kids saying\, ‘you know what? I have a little bit of control about what I can eat\, and so I’m gonna hold my stance here.’” \nBut giving them some ideas on how to bring ’em around and having them at the table with their parents has been fun to see where they’re cutting up with their little knife\, you know\, their little plastic knife\, their veggies\, and throwing it in the pot\, and how that helps them come to try those recipes. So it’s been definitely a great learning experience for myself in building this program and seeing how. \nEach of these collaborations has just opened up [00:30:00] the door for even something else\, whether it’s the collaboration with cardiology\, moving into the opportunity for the pain clinic to jump on board\, because now they’ve heard that\, wait\, my clients can come and create a plant-based meal and learn. How that is going to be successful at their house. \nAnd so I think both sides of the coin we both have\, uh\, benefited because they’re really going beyond just handing off the information to having clients that are able to come in and really create and be successful too. And also for myself to have those professionals come into the kitchen with their knowledge base and share has been definitely a benefit as well. \nIn these last four years\, it’s been a lot of growth\, a lot of change\, and it’s been very good. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh\, that’s awesome. Well\, I’m gonna kind of switch gears a little bit because we are talking about food and I am getting hungry. I would love it if [00:31:00] you would be willing to walk us through a popular recipe in the classes you teach and share a little bit about why it’s popular. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. Well\, I know I mentioned at the beginning about the chickpeas and the hummus from back in the day\, and that’s still a really fun and easy recipe that kind of moves its way through a variety of classes because hummus is something that is actually created. Many different culture cuisines in different ways. \nSo one that we make quite often\, and it’s really popular because number one\, it’s very inexpensive to make and it’s very tasty. And if you go into the grocery store and see the 60 varieties of hummus\, you can look along that and go\, “Wow\, I don’t know where to begin. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: The prices. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Yeah. And sometimes they’re a little bit pricey and folks just really don’t know how quick and easy it is to make. \nSo we just have a small little food processor\, or you can have a personal blender\, like one of those bullets [00:32:00] we use that in the classroom and it’s just a simple recipe. We just take a can of garbanzo beans\, which in other parts of the world are known as chickpeas. They’re the exact same thing\, and those are just a power source on their own. \nSo they make it into the plant-based class. They go into our flatbreads and hummus from around the world class as well as the heart healthy class. And I’ve even had ’em tossed into the kids’ class. So those chickpeas or garbanzo beans\, they’ve got a great amount of protein and fiber\, which makes you feel like you are full longer. \nThey also have a complex source of carbs. Lower impact on your glucose. So when you’re looking at all those fun things too\, then tahini\, which is sesame seeds\, and they just take those sesame seeds and roast ’em down into a paste. It’s what’s creamy and very high in antioxidants and vitamins. [00:33:00] And it also has a great amount of protein and fiber. \nSo you can find tahini in most grocery stores. They’re actually on the peanut butter aisle or on what some stores will have the international aisle. That’s another ingredient in there. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I was just gonna say it’s like peanut butter\, but instead of being made with peanuts\, it’s made with sesame seeds. \nCHEF MARY LONG: It looks like\, if you’ve ever seen natural peanut butter where it looks like it has a little bit of the oil on top separated\, that’s what it’ll look like too. You can find it in a lot of dressings like salad dressings as well. It’s going to be that savory\, creamy ingredient in a lot of those as well. To that\, we add a little bit of lemon juice. \nSometimes we add fresh lemon juice. Sometimes I’ll have the bottled on hand\, so it’s either that or a couple of cloves of garlic to taste. If you’re not a big garlic fan\, you can just put in one or just a little dash of garlic powder\, and then we add in our classes. Most of the time we add. One of the dash products\, which is the no sodium\, but you can also toss [00:34:00] in salt if you like it. \nJust a little taste of salt. And then we like to use a pinch of smoked paprika that gives it kind of that nice savory in there as well. A drizzle of olive oil. And you’re set. Now\, the fun thing is when I have our chefs\, our students in the kitchen preparing this\, at the end of the day\, if they really wanna get creative\, I’ll have them split the recipe in half. \nSo they’re getting to taste it as it’s made. And then those that really want to can do some things with the others. So I’ll usually have some olives on hand or some roasted peppers or some seeds like either roasted pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds on hand so they can kind of drizzle and play with it and\, and make it their own. \nAnd not only does that give us some other flavor choices at the end of the day\, but it also gave them some autonomy to\, to really make something their own. Hummus is probably one of the favorites in the classes and it’s something I’ll pull out too if we ever have something where we have some visitors come by [00:35:00] that takes maybe a couple of minutes to make and all things that are shelf stable. \nSo it’s something you can keep in the pantry and just pull out if you have unexpected guests just to put together. And I’ll be glad to share the quick and easy hummus recipe with you guys as well. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, we’ll make sure to have that as part of the show notes\, and thank you so much for sharing that with us. \nI’m curious if anyone looks at chickpeas or garbanzo beans and says\, I don’t know about this. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Yeah. Yeah. All the time. I’ve had folks that have never tried it\, and they’re still not sure they’re going to. But usually in the class setting\, and I kind of open it up and just say\, “Did anybody who had\, you know\, at the beginning of class that said they had never tried it\, did you go ahead and try it?” \nI’m not trying to make anybody try something that they really don’t want to. And usually folks say either one or two things. “I never liked it before and I really like this one\,” or\, “I haven’t tried it ’cause I wasn’t sure about this and now [00:36:00] I like it.” So there’s still some folks that are like\, “I’m still not sure about texture\,” and things like that. \nBut for the most part it’s a thumbs up. And the thing I forgot to mention that’s even best about this is how inexpensive it is to make\, it really is a little\, you know\, even with today’s prices in the grocery store\, just maybe a dollar and a half to put this whole thing together. So very economical\, really flavorful\, and you can definitely go many different ways to make it delicious and create it your way. \nThat’s the fun thing about creating at home. You get to jazz it up in your own style. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, and my local grocery store\, a small container of hummus\, will be easily $5.99. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Oh yeah. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: I would also imagine tahini is a new ingredient to a lot of people\, but it’s also easy to purchase ’cause it’s in a jar next to the peanut butter\, and once you’ve tried it\, you’re like\, “Oh\, cool.” \nCHEF MARY LONG: Yeah.  And at the end of the day\, I’ve had folks that said\, “I didn’t have tahini on hand. I added a nut butter. Is that okay\, chef?” And I’m like\, [00:37:00] did it taste good? Let’s go. So it’s really\, you know\, there’s all different ways to make it and. If it’s not something\, you know\, there’s sometimes there’s folks that are more of a food desert and they don’t have the variety in their grocery store\, definitely go with it. \nYou can definitely throw in something else. There’s also recipes out there that do not even call for tahini\, so keep that in mind. That’s not an end all. Or garbanzo beans. I’ve made hummus with edamame. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Black beans! \nCHEF MARY LONG: Or black beans! We were talking about that the other day. Black beans. There’s lots of different ways to put together a delicious hummus. \nIt doesn’t have to be garbanzo beans. Definitely. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Awesome. Thanks Chef Mary. These are such great ideas and such a great recipe that people can really make their own. And I’ll add\, I’ve made hummus with my kids several times and it’s just a great\, easy\, inexpensive recipe that you can get the kids involved. \nAnd then you can also get ’em to eat some more veggies ’cause they can dip their veggies in the hummus. And then [00:38:00] it’s a win for\, for mom and dad too. \nCHEF MARY LONG: Definitely. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: So Mary\, we’d like to end the Practicing Connection Podcast with the guest\, sharing a personal practice that helps with readiness and resilience. \nSo would you mind sharing a personal practice that helps you with your own readiness and resilience? \nCHEF MARY LONG: Sure. One of the first practices that I established and was really as I began working here at the Vogel Resiliency Center with one of my coworkers\, and she introduced me to this\, and it’s been wonderful to now share with different classes in our program\, including that mindfulness class that we do for meal prep is what we call a breath anchoring exercise for mindfulness. \nSo something as simple as a warm cup of tea in my hands. I sit with my hands wrapped around the mug\, focused on a mindful experience. It is really being present\, focused and in the [00:39:00] moment without judgment. And that’s sometimes difficult to not have judgment. \n‘Cause you know\, our minds will be wandering\, but that’s where that cup of tea really is that anchor. Because as I focus on my breathing and I sip the tea\, I can use that warm cup in my hands as the anchor to bring any strain thoughts that might come back. In my head\, back to my breath\, and that quiet moment I’m giving myself\, and I found that having that anchor or object helps me refocus and stay present. \nBut it could be something as simple as washing your hands and focusing on the warm water\, flowing over your hands as you rub together and wash them. Or even if you’re sitting in the parked car in your driveway. Taking intentional breaths before you head into your next event or maybe at the end of your day. \nAnd so that’s been something that has been a very helpful and easy way for me to kind of stay [00:40:00] anchored and focused and in the moment when I’m trying to establish that type of a mindfulness moment that day. \nBETHANY DAUGHERTY: Thank you for sharing that. That’s such a wise practice that will be helpful to many of the listeners. \nMary\, thanks so much for joining us today. We really appreciate everything you’ve shared with us. I’ve really just enjoyed talking with you and getting to know you over the last few months. I. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nWe’d love to hear what you’ve been thinking about and what’s inspiring you. You can share that with us by clicking the Send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. If you are listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org. We can’t wait to hear from you. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Thanks again to Chef Mary Long and Bethany Daugherty for joining us today. We’d also like to thank our co-producer\, Coral Owen\, our announcer Kaylyn Gobel\, [00:41:00] Maggie Lucas\, for their help with marketing and Nathan Grim who composed and performed all the music you hear on the podcast. We hope you’ll listen again soon. \nUntil then. Keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/more-than-a-meal-building-community-and-resilience-with-chef-mary-long/
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-5cibKw.jpeg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250306
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250307
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250312T212905Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260213T154313Z
UID:10001559-1741219200-1741305599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Achieve Your Goals with WOOP
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjczNjUxNSUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY3MzY1MTUtYWNoaWV2ZS15b3VyLWdvYWxzLXdpdGgtd29vcC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2NzM2NTE1JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 10) \nDo you ever struggle to stick to your goals? Discover the WOOP method\, a powerful tool that uses obstacles as stepping stones to success. \nDiscover WOOP\, a science-backed goal-setting practice that helps you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. \nLearn how to apply this simple yet powerful tool to transform your habits and improve your well-being. \nWe’d love to hear what’s inspiring you! Share your thoughts using the “Send us a text message” feature or email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \nLinks\n\n\n\nhttps://woopmylife.org/\nhttps://woopmylife.org/en/practice \n\n\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hello. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica\, and I’m flying solo today for the first time ever! I will be rejoined by my co-hosts soon\, but today it’s just me. And I’ll be sharing a practice for goal setting that I have used successfully in the past. It’s called WOOP. \nThat’s WOOP\, and it stands for Wish\, Outcome\, Obstacle\, Plan. This practice has been instrumental in helping me overcome obstacles and change habits. I come back to it whenever I need to rethink my thinking about an issue. Let me give you an example. I used to forget to pack my lunch. Almost every day\, I would rush out the door without a lunch\, and very likely without having eaten breakfast [00:01:00] as well\, but that’s another issue for another practice on another day! \nThe problem was that this didn’t align with my financial goals. I wanted to save money\, not spend it every day. And the other problem was that this didn’t align with my health goals either. I used it as an excuse to eat fast food or to eat poorly in general\,right? \nThat food tastes good\, right? I really needed to make a change though. So one day I was listening to a podcast episode that highlighted this practice. I remember thinking that the funny name would probably help me remember it\, and when I mess up\, I could just say\, “Whoops\,” and try again. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I chuckled to myself about that very unfunny thought. \nI don’t recall who was being interviewed on the podcast\, this was quite a while ago. But what I learned was that this tool was [00:02:00] backed by research\, and that it really helped people with things like changing their behavior and realizing their goals\, becoming more physically active\, adopting a healthier lifestyle and diet. Taking better care of their own wellbeing. \nExhibiting more pro-social behavior\, and improving their performance. It sounded really impressive\, so I went to their website to learn more. The website is https://woopmylife.org/\, and I’ll make sure to have a link for you in the show notes because they’ve got some really great resources: videos\, and even an entire kit for you to use to implement this tool in your work and life. \nSo WOOP is based in the science of human motivation. It uses the very obstacles that get in our way as the catalyst for achieving our goals. It does that by helping us to imagine what those inner obstacles are. So these are the things that may be [00:03:00] the thoughts and the behaviors that we currently have\, that we can change\, that are internal to ourselves. \nSo these are not external obstacles. These are all internal obstacles. So it helps us imagine those\, and then create a plan for when those obstacles are happening. What can we do to move through that or to get around it and achieve our goals anyway? \nSo let’s learn more by getting into the practice and sharing an example. \n– break – \nAgain\, WOOP stands for Wish\, Outcome\, Obstacle and Plan\, and you can practice this in a few ways. I like to use WOOP in its shortest version. So on their website they have a kit and there’s a worksheet called “WOOP In One Glance” in that kit. That’s how I started [00:04:00] using this tool\, mostly because I’ve primarily used this tool to forge new habits\, versus making longer term goals. \nBut it can be used both ways and you can find out more at their website@woopmylife.org. So let’s get started. Start with your wish. In three to six words\, choose your wish. Choose something that is challenging\, but feasible. I’ve heard things like\, “I want to run a marathon\,” as being a wish. But my first time practicing whoop\, I said\, “I wanted to stop eating fast food for lunch.” \nI thought that would be challenging\, but also feasible. So now the next step is\, in three to six words\, again\, identify what would be the best outcome of fulfilling your wish. My answer was that\, “I would feel healthier and more energized\,” right? \nSo the next step we’ll move on to is\, what’s the obstacle? [00:05:00] Identify your main inner obstacle that holds you back from fulfilling your wish. So again\, you’re trying to do this in three to six words\, and in my case\, it was forgetting to pack my lunch or forgetting to take my lunch with me before I left. That’s more than six words\, but the word limit is really a guide to help keep you focused. \nAnd then finally\, in again\, three to six words\, note what action you can take to overcome your obstacle. So in this example\, I thought it would be a better idea to drive past the fast food restaurants and instead pull into the grocery store parking lot to make up a salad or get some other healthier foods. \nThen you’ll wanna put it all together like this: So\, you’re gonna kind of create a little bit of an “If –  then” statement. So “if”: state your obstacle\, “then I will”: state your action or thought to overcome your [00:06:00] obstacle. So “if\,” obstacle\, “then I will\,” action. Here’s what it sounds like with my example. “If I forget my lunch\, then I will go to the grocery store.” \nThat’s it. I am telling you\, this practice has been such a helpful tool in my toolbox to help me change behaviors and improve my resilience and relationship with myself. \nThat’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us\, or for joining me today! If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nDo you have a favorite practice you’d like to share with us? Click\, “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number with the words “do not remove.” Type your message after that and click send. \nWe’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicing connection@oneop.org instead. We’ll be back next [00:07:00] week with a brand new episode. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/achieve-your-goals-with-woop/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-uROpeo.jpeg
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DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250227
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250228
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250312T212505Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250319T144742Z
UID:10001558-1740614400-1740700799@oneop.org
SUMMARY:How to be Present for Others in their Grief (replay)
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjY5ODk3NCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY2OTg5NzQtaG93LXRvLWJlLXByZXNlbnQtZm9yLW90aGVycy1pbi10aGVpci1ncmllZi5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2Njk4OTc0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text](Season 6\, Episode 9) \nThis episode was the second in a series of three practicasts from 2024 centered around “holding space\,” a concept we learned from Heather Plett\, author of “The Art of Holding Space.” \nOur co-creator for this series was our OneOp colleague\, Kristen Jowers. \nIn this episode\, Kristen shares two practices to help us prepare to hold space for someone experiencing grief. \nSome of the practices we recommend on this show are more quick and simple\, and some take a bit more time\, intention\, focus and determination. \n“Holding Space” falls into the latter category. You can start working on it immediately\, but it will take building the habit and muscle memory to really start seeing the impacts. \nWhich is why we decided to republish this episode from a year ago\, to check in with you on how you are doing with this practice\, and give us all a chance to revisit it. \nWe’ll be back again next week with a brand new episode and fresh practice. Until then\, keep practicing! \nWe’d love to hear what’s inspiring you! Share your thoughts using the “Send us a text message” feature or email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. This is Jessica. This episode was the second in a series of three Practic casts centered around “Holding Space\,” a concept we learned from Heather Plett\, author of The Art of Holding Space. Our co-creator for this series was our OneOp colleague\, Kristen Jowers. In this episode\, Kristen shares two practices to help us prepare and hold space for someone experiencing grief. \nSome of the practices we recommend on this show are more quick and simple\, and some take a bit more time\, intention\, focus\, and determination. Holding space falls into the latter category. You can start working on it immediately\, but it will take building the habit and muscle memory to really start seeing the impacts. Which is why we decided to republish this episode from a year ago\, to check in with you on how you’re doing with the practice and give us all a chance to [00:01:00] revisit it. \nWe’ll be back again next week with a brand new episode and fresh practice. Until then\, keep practicing. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All of us experience grief and loss. Having someone hold space for us during a difficult time can be just the balm we need. Being able to hold space for someone else is a skill we can all develop. Hi everyone\, this is Jessica Beckendorf and welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection PractiCast\, where we highlight a specific practice you can use in your life and work. In this month’s practicast\, we’ve been talking about different ways to hold space for others. “Holding Space” refers to the act of being fully present with someone else without judgment or distraction so that the person can share their experiences and perspective. \nWe have a special guest today\, Kristen Jowers. Kristen joined the OneOp team in 2023 as a program coordinator\, with more than eight years working in higher [00:02:00] education. Kristen uses her background in psychology\, child development and marriage and family therapy to enhance her work at the University of Kentucky. \nPart of her personal development goals this year include getting out of her comfort zone and leaning into new experiences\, like doing this PractiCast! Kristen enjoys reading\, resting\, and can be found taking pictures of her dog Copper\, the Bassett hound\, who is\, I can confirm\, incredibly adorable. Kristen will be guiding us through the practice in a few minutes\, but first let’s learn more about it. \nHi Kristen. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Hey Jessica\, thanks for having me on. I am a long time listener and first time contributor\, so thanks for having me on to talk about holding space for grief. Before we jump in\, I did want to provide a quick content note\, as this episode discusses death\, grief\, and loss. We encourage listeners [00:03:00] to pause or take breaks as needed to take care of yourself. \nA transcript and other resources are available on our website at oneop.org/podcast. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: All right. Thank you so much for sharing that. Kristen\, let’s start with talking about what grief is. Can you share a little bit about that? \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Oftentimes\, grief is thought of as the loss of a loved one. Today\, I want to expand that and include grief in the context of major changes like separation and divorce\, natural disasters\, school or job changes and illness. \nGrief is one of those human experiences that comes with living and loving. All of us have experienced or will experience grief at some point in our lives. And some of us may be living with grief right now. You may have heard of the Five Stages of Grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. The stages are denial\, [00:04:00] anger\, bargaining\, depression\, and acceptance. \nThey’re often thought of as stages\, but they don’t define a linear process or timeline. The stages of grief are not consecutive\, so you might feel some\, all\, or none of these emotions. There really isn’t a timeline for grief\, and you can intersect with someone at different points in their grieving process. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. I actually didn’t realize that\, and maybe if I thought back to the times when I was experiencing grief\, I may have realized this\, but I didn’t realize that you may feel all\, some or none of those emotions. So I found that to be really\, really interesting. And so given that that’s the case\, how can we hold space for people who are experiencing grief? \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Yes\, Jessica. There’s a lot of different complexities that surround grief and loss\, and so the response is [00:05:00] nuanced. Heather Platt describes in her book The Art of Holding Space\, a collapsible container\, or silicone bowl\, kind of like one of those bowls that you’ll take camping or that I take to the dog park with copper. \nThe bowl can be shallow\, medium\, or deep to fit the size space and need. So for example\, we hold shallow space when someone shares about how tired they are from having a new baby. We hold medium space for when someone shares about how their community has been affected by a natural disaster\, and we hold deep space when someone has lost a loved one. \nBeing the bowl is how you serve when you hold space for others. The container provides protection\, support\, and safety. We help them to see that they’re not alone. In Plett’s words\, “We give them space for the waiting that they must do before their new story emerges.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Oh yeah. Because [00:06:00] with a lot of grief and loss comes change\, right? \nSo what keeps us from holding space for grief? \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I think there are a lot of reasons. This is hard\, Jessica. There’s sort of this delicate balance we all manage as we provide care for each other\, while taking care of ourselves. Heather Plett talks about emotional labor taking more energy than physical labor sometimes\, and she talks about telling people when we’re at capacity as a way to communicate when our bowl is full. \nAnother consideration is our own experiences of grief\, and how that might impact how much space we have in our bowl. And even when there is space\, our own fears and discomfort can get in the way. I think sometimes we’re worried about saying or doing the wrong thing\, or feeling like when everything is going wrong for someone else\, it’s uncomfortable for us. And [00:07:00] our instinct is to wanna fix it for them. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah\, it’s definitely\, I mean\, especially someone we love too\, right? We wanna fix\, we wanna make them feel better. \n– break – \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Well\, let’s get started. I know you brought a practice or two with you today. Please walk us through them. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: I’m gonna talk about two practices today. The first is\, “Keep your ego out of it.” With grief\, there can sometimes be this feeling that other people don’t understand what you’re going through\, and I think it’s really natural to say\, “I’ve been there\, I know what you’re going through.” \nAnd even if you have been there\, no two people experience things exactly the same way. So you don’t wanna claim to know what the other person is feeling\, or compare your grief to theirs. Lean into [00:08:00] your curiosity about their experience. Ask if they’d like to talk about it. Sometimes what you say is less important than just being with the person. \nIn the art of holding space. Heather Plett says that\, “One of the hardest things about holding space is that it can feel like you’re doing nothing.” It’s going to sound crazy to say this\, but there is an art to doing nothing\, when there is nothing to be done. Sometimes just being is enough. Don’t be afraid of spending time together in silence. \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Hmm. That can be tough for a lot of people. \nKRISTEN JOWERS: Yes. And for the next practice\, I want to introduce the acronym SPACE\, created by Gina Ballard\, and inspired by the work of Harrison Owen\, author of Open Space Technology and the Power of Spirit. SPACE is [00:09:00] something you can remind yourself of as you’re being the container\, and holding space for someone’s grief. \nSpace stands for Safety Presence Acceptance Challenge Emptiness. S – Safety. Enhance safety through curiosity and non-judgment. Non-judgment of yourself and the one you’re holding space for. P – Presence. Use breathwork to become increasingly aware of the present moment. A – Acceptance. Acceptance looks like being with the person. Sit with what is. \nC – Challenge. Remember\, you’re not there to fix the problem. The challenge\, or [00:10:00] opportunity rather\, is to be with the person. \nE – Emptiness. Allow emptiness and silence without filling the space. Grief can evoke a lot of emotions: anger\, sadness\, powerlessness\, hopelessness\, feeling that life is happening to us. As space holders\, we’re saying\, “We’re here. We’re here to listen\, to support\, to liberate\, to empower. We’re here\, and you’re safe with us.” \nJESSICA BECKENDORF: Wow. That was beautiful. I feel like we should just end the episode on\, “We are here and you’re safe with us.” So thank you so\, so much\, Kristen. I absolutely loved hearing your practices and your perspective today. Thanks for having me on Jessica. [00:11:00]\nThat is it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. We hope you’ll give this practice a try and share your experience in the Practicing Connection LinkedIn group\, where people supporting military families practice the skills that empower us to work together so that we can positively impact our communities and help families thrive. \nAnd certainly the SPACE practice and keeping our egos out of it are both something that will empower us to work together. \nYou’ll find the link to the group on our website at one op.org/practicing connection. We’ll be back next week with a practice for holding space for new opportunities. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCREDITS: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/how-to-be-present-for-others-in-their-grief-replay/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-pVpTzw.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250213
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250214
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250312T211926Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250807T131815Z
UID:10001556-1739404800-1739491199@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reframing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjU5Nzc3MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY1OTc3NzMtcmVmcmFtaW5nLW1pc3Rha2VzLWFzLWxlYXJuaW5nLW9wcG9ydHVuaXRpZXMuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjU5Nzc3MyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode of *Practicing Connection*\, Coral Owen provides co-host Jessica Beckendorf and listeners with a practical guide to reframing your mindset when you make a mistake. Drawing inspiration from her two-year-old toddler’s ability to move past errors effortlessly\, Coral contrasts this with the adult tendency to analyze mistakes deeply. \nCoral introduces a simple\, two-step approach that fosters grace and understanding\, helping to turn mistakes into opportunities for personal growth. This method encourages building a healthy habit of self-compassion and learning over time. Don’t forget to share what’s inspiring you by using the “Send us a text message” feature or emailing practicingconnection@oneop.org. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Jessica Beckendorf: [00:00:00] Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Jessica. My co host Coral is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about reframing mistakes as learning opportunities\, and Coral’s going to be sharing a practice with us. Hi\, Coral. What’s inspiring you lately? Let’s just rip the bandaid off and get right to the question I really want to ask you! \nCoral Owen: Hey\, Jessica. I’ve been inspired this week by watching my two year old Kai learning to bake. Biscuits are a very common request. I’ve also been digging into some sourdough here lately\, but it’s been really fun cooking with him\, of course. But also just seeing him practice a beginner’s mindset at its finest. \nAnd this is actually something that is very heavily related to the practice we’ll be talking about today\, but I love seeing how kind he is to himself. Toddlers can be\, you know\, a little uncoordinated\, so he tends to spill things from time to time\, but it’s really sweet whenever that happens. He’ll\, he just\, you know\, he doesn’t make a big fuss about it. He just says to himself\, “That’s okay. Accidents happen. We can try again!” And I just\, I just love that. \nJessica Beckendorf: He says that? \nCoral Owen: Yeah. \nJessica Beckendorf: Oh my gosh. Did you teach him that? \nCoral Owen: I think we model that at home\, you know\, cause we say that to him\, but he says that to it\, like narrates it to himself and it’s just\, it’s really sweet. But I just think we could all use a dose of that every now and again. \nJessica Beckendorf: Yeah\, that’s beautiful. I mean\, and like you said\, what a perfect example for the topics we’ve been talking about lately. So we’d love to also hear what’s inspiring you. So please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the “Send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words “Do not remove.” \nType your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t see your message! To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t [00:02:00] text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can also email us at practicingconnection@1up.org \nSo let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nJessica Beckendorf: Let’s learn more about reframing mistakes as learning opportunities. Coral\, can you tell us a little more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCoral Owen: Sure thing. So obviously based on today’s intro\, you know that beginner’s mindset has been on my mind a lot lately. I was also talking with someone about cultivating a beginner’s mindset a little bit last week\, and I just\, I love the idea of a beginner’s mindset. \nI love the practice\, and it’s really just a beautiful thing to be a beginner at something\, and regardless of our age or proficiency in another area\, you know\, we expect to make mistakes when we’re a beginner. And so\, in other words\, we’re “failing.” I do think that failure tends to be a little bit of a loaded word\, right? \nBut in the context of being a beginner\, making mistakes and learning from them along the way is normalized and it’s celebrated. And so\, if we could carry this practice of making mistakes and treating them as learning opportunities into everyday life\, in context where we’re maybe not beginners\, It could be really\, really powerful. \nAnd so a key part of having or practicing a growth mindset\, which I kind of feel like in some\, you know\, circumstances is like having a broad application\, an all context application\, of the innerst mindset in certain ways. It’s simply adopting this habit of expecting to make mistakes as part of a human being doing life. \nAnd it’s simply impossible to live and not make a mistake every now and again\, whether it’s professional\, personal relationships\, parenting\, hobbies\, you name it\, it’s going to happen. And so today’s practice is on how we can do this to level up and level onward in our day to day. \nJessica Beckendorf: Oh\, I love [00:04:00] that. You said\, “It’s impossible to not make a mistake every now and again\,” and I would maybe say every day and again (laughs). So let’s get to it\, Coral. Could you walk us through this practice? \nCoral Owen: Absolutely. So before we dig in too deeply\, I would like to invite anyone who’s going to join us for the practice today to grab a bit of grace and self compassion and just wrap yourself in it like a blanket. \nIt does take courage and it can be uncomfortable to do a post-mortem on scenarios when we’re not at our best. So let’s like kind of lay that as the foundation for today’s practice\, right? So to begin\, think of a scenario where you made a mistake. It can be any space of life\, even if it’s a mistake that didn’t impact anyone but you. \nNext thing we’re going to do\, we’re going to drop it into one of two buckets. First one is just a simple mistake. The second one is something like a personal limitation\, things like that. So to just unpack those a little bit: a simple mistake is something that we’re pretty practiced at\, and we would probably typically get that right. \nFor these\, we just need to wrap that blanket of self compassion a little bit tighter and acknowledge that we’re human. And like you said\, every now and again\, every day and again\, mistakes just happen. And so we just need to acknowledge that fact\, drop any weight we’re still carrying from that mistake and just keep moving forward. \nBucket number two is where we’re going to dig in a little bit deeper. And this bucket is our collection of growth opportunities. And so if the mistake that you’re reflecting on is in bucket number two\, what I’m going to invite you to do is ask you two reflective questions. One: “Was this within my control in this scenario?” \nAnd if so\, number two\, “Where could I shift my approach so that if this happens again\, it will yield a more positive result?” So it’s really that simple. We just take these takeaways forward with us. And this isn’t something that\, you know\, will make [00:06:00] mistakes\, big or small\, necessarily feel comfortable or familiar overnight. \nBut it’s one of those things that when practiced over time\, each time we experience these friction points\, and leverage this practice\, we begin to find the value in them as learning opportunities. And I think also too\, just thinking of how stagnant we would be without these areas of opportunity for growth\, there’d be no feedback on how we could grow just to be more expansive\, more amazing\, more wonderful. Just as an individual\, but also to the other people in our lives. \nThat’s it. \nJessica Beckendorf: That’s beautiful. And it reminds me of how seeing a mistake like this or mistakes like this as an opportunity for growth\, there’s even sort of a little bit of a reset\, like a\, “Okay\, now\, like\, what do I need to do next so that I can continue in my growth?” So I think there’s even maybe a slight potential celebration point that you can move on. \nAnd it reminds me of how\, I was reading about this recently\, where when improvisers make a mistake\, they do this huge circus bow a lot of times. And there’s a muscle memory in doing\, having that little moment of celebration. And so\, yeah\, I think this sort of pivot point of like\, “Okay\, what’s next?” Is a really great way to kind of move through that and move on. \nCoral Owen: I love that so much. And I do think\, you know\, this is something that I have practiced personally for quite some time. And I’m not saying that to\, to pat myself on the shoulder\, but\, you know\, over time\, there is sort of a welcoming that I experienced when I go\, “Oh\, I kind of screwed that up!” And sort of celebrating or welcoming in that opportunity for creativity of\, “Well\, how can I do that better?” \nAnd bringing that problem solving approach to it. It adds an element of fun or celebration or just\, it’s a much more positive experience than the\, “Oh\, shucks. Here we go again.” \nJessica Beckendorf: Yes! Yes. \nCoral Owen: Yeah\, but you totally nailed it. [00:08:00] I love that. \nJessica Beckendorf: Well\, that’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nWe’ll be back next week with a practice for leveraging forgiveness as a strength. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCredits: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/reframing-mistakes-as-learning-opportunities/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/qtq80-SoiN7F.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250206
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250207
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250206T121347Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250206T121641Z
UID:10001552-1738800000-1738886399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Move On From Mistakes with the 10-10-10 Rule
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjU3MjYxMCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY1NzI2MTAtbW92ZS1vbi1mcm9tLW1pc3Rha2VzLXdpdGgtdGhlLTEwLTEwLTEwLXJ1bGUuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjU3MjYxMCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]Feeling overwhelmed by a recent mistake? Join us as we explore a powerful practice that can help you break free from panic and gain instant clarity. \nIn this episode\, hosts Coral and Jessica explore the 10-10-10 Rule\, a simple yet powerful technique for gaining perspective on mistakes and decision-making. Jessica explains how this tool can be used to reflect on and move through errors without spiraling into panic. Tune in to learn how asking three simple questions can help you and your team navigate challenges with a clearer mindset. Don’t forget to share what’s inspiring you by using the “Send us a text message” feature or emailing practicingconnection@oneop.org. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Coral Owen: Hey there\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host Jessica is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about the 10-10-10 rule\, and Jessica will be sharing a practice with us. Hey Jessica\, how are you? \nJessica Beckendorf: Hey Coral\, I’m doing pretty great\, surprisingly\, because I’ve been keeping pretty busy\, probably too busy! \nSomehow it seems like all meetings and all deadlines and all\, like\, messages from people\, whether it was text or email or different requests coming from all over the place\, they all seem to converge on the last two weeks. And I’ve noticed this happening from time to time at different times of the year\, and some of the times of year\, I think\, are sort of starting to become predictable. \nSo maybe I can use that as a planning tool. Maybe we’ll talk about that in a future\, in a future episode. But I think what’s been really on my mind lately about this is that there isn’t ever enough time to catch up\, to like go all the way back to before these two weeks began\, and to try to catch up on all the things. Even though I have like really good intentions to\, or I even have tried. I’ve put forth some of my best effort to try to get caught up. \nAnd I really had to accept that\, and just keep doing my best. And as you know\, you know\, try not to apologize all the time for everything\, because I think there’s a lot of people who are also in this predicament\, and I don’t expect apologies from them. So\, where one is necessary\, I will do it. But otherwise\, I’m just\, I’m just doing my best\, and I’m going to accept that in myself. \nSo that was really put to the test in the past couple of weeks. But the good news is that I’ve also been able to be active socially. So I haven’t like totally cocooned myself in\, in a\, in a little bubble. And I think I’ve shared with you that\, you know\, that’s kind of a goal of mine this year is to like notice that I actually am enjoying some social interactions and maybe savor those a little more. \nSo it’s been\, it’s been a good month! \nCoral Owen: I’m sure a lot of folks can relate to that experience\, Jessica. And I also think it’s really important just to recognize\, and I’m kind of coaching myself here as I reflect on this\, you know\, that we’re oftentimes our own biggest critics. And so\, you know\, working with you\, I’ve not noticed anything. \nSo\, you know\, it’s just\, I think it’s important to remember that our self perspective is oftentimes not how it’s viewed externally. So\, but yeah\, good on you for\, for kind of striking that\, that self grace balance. So\, you know\, something I’ve been embracing the last couple of weeks personally is this idea of “snacks.” \nYou know me well\, I love actual snacks\, but these are more the figurative snacks\, if you will. And so\, you know\, something that I’ve been looking and seeking throughout my days are these small pockets of time where\, you know\, if we leverage those\, and I’m not talking about\, you know\, optimizing every single minute of your day\, because we need time to decompress and whatnot\, but kind of these time leaks that I tend to have a tendency to\, you know\, maybe scroll a little bit in between meetings or whatever. \nBut\, you know\, instead of pulling out my phone or anything like that\, you know\, just going outside for a short walk down the block and back\, you know\, working remotely\, being able to do something like that\, taking the dog into the backyard for a few minutes and just enjoying the sunshine\, a short stretch. \nIt’s just really been a great habit to cultivate for myself. And I’m finding that I’m resetting a little bit better\, having a little bit more mental freshness\, as I roll into whatever task or meeting or conversation I’m\, you know\, tackling next. It just feels good. \nJessica Beckendorf: I really love this idea of “time snacks.” I’m going to call them time snacks from now on. And I do them\, but I think it would be helpful for me to just start setting some like alarms for like\, “Hey\, try to do a time snack right now\, if you can\, or maybe in a few minutes\,” if you need to. Because during the two weeks I was just talking about that were just bonkers\, my schedule was terrible. \nI mean\, on a Friday\, I had 15 minutes of like\, time to myself. This isn’t a complaint or anything. It’s just like the way things shook out. There were some deadlines\, there were just some things that needed to happen. But that on a Friday\, having only 15 minutes to yourself should not happen. So I think I probably could have found some little moments\, some of these snacks to include. \nCoral Owen: Yeah\, Yeah. \nJessica Beckendorf: So in a note\, for those of you who don’t live in a sunshiny state\, that you can also do time snacks inside if you want to. Like\, I’ve gone for a walk around my house\, which sounds super boring\, but when you have a really cute dog\, who’s like\, “Mom\, what are you doing? What are you doing? Let me follow you!” It’s actually kind of fun too. \nCoral Owen: That’s awesome. So we’d love to hear what’s inspiring you all\, our listeners\, so please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the send us a text message at the top of this description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words “do not remove.” \nType your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message!. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. \nIf you’re listening on a computer\, you can also email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. \nSo let us know it’s inspiring you right now. \n– break – \nCoral Owen: Let’s learn more about the 10 10 10 rule. \nJessica\, can you give us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing today and why you chose it? \nJessica Beckendorf: Absolutely. This is actually a recent find for me. So it’s called the 10-10-10 rule\, and it can be used for a lot of different purposes. I’ve chosen to focus for the purpose of this Practicast on using it to move through and reflect on a mistake. \nWe often talk about having a growth mindset on this podcast and so this would be one really great practice to help you develop that growth mindset. So I first read about it in a book. I have read more that it’s been around for longer than this book\, this book just came out last year\, but I first read about it in a book I’m reading called Feel Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal. \nI’ve been following Ali for a while because I appreciate his calm approach to pretty much anything. He was a doctor before deciding to step away from that\, so maybe his training had something to do with that. And I’ll admit\, I was a little skeptical about the book\, even though I enjoy Ali’s work\, because the name seems to support toxic productivity\, or at least that was what I thought. \n“Toxic productivity” is essentially like where we push ourselves and keep telling ourselves that we can do more\, to the point where we begin to damage our physical and mental health. The title of the book made me worry that it was just a little bit of a reframing of hustle culture\, but I was wrong. It turns out that the vibe is way different than that\, and it’s full of really great little easy to implement nuggets like the 10-10-10 rule. \nYou may have noticed that I haven’t told you exactly what the rule is\, and that’s because it is so simple. And we’re about to give you exactly what the practice is. It is so simple that I would just give it all away right now\, but I wanted to mention before we get into the practice that it’s because of its simplicity that I’ve found it easy to implement right away. \nLike I’ve had no problems implementing this because it’s easy to remember to do. \nCoral Owen: That sounds great. So can you walk us through the steps? \nJessica Beckendorf: Yes\, I will actually tell you what the practice is right now! So like I said\, I think this might be one of the simplest practice that I’ve ever shared. Here’s what you do. When you or your team has made a mistake\, or you could even right now think about a mistake that you made recently or in the last year or so. \nAsk yourself the following three questions to help you reflect and move forward. First question\, will this matter in 10 minutes? Second\, will this matter in 10 days? And the third question is\, will this matter in 10 years? \nWhat do you do when the answer is yes to one of those? In the moment\, you might be like\, “Yes\, this is going to matter in 10 minutes. Like\, I’m still going to feel really embarrassed.” That’s really going to depend on the situation. And it’s a moment for you to think strategically about what to do next instead of panicking\, right? So asking yourself these questions in the moment will provide some perspective and give you a moment to stop spiraling\, or to stop your brain from spiraling. \nBut many times\, and I would say quite often\, the answer is going to be no. If you’re really thinking about this and you’re\, you’re taking a moment to pause\, it’s going to be no to all three of those questions. All the time\, maybe not. It might be that it’s going to matter in 10 years. I mean\, depending on that situation\, you will need to then take that moment\, “Okay. This is going to matter in 10 years. Who does it affect? Who do I need to talk to right now so that we can start pivoting and adjusting\,” right? \nBut so many times that answer is going to be no to all three of those questions. At least that’s what I’ve noticed so far. And maybe I’m just extra hard on myself\, I don’t know. But I’ve noticed that the answer is often no\, and it has been a really cool practice. \nCoral Owen: I love this. It sounds to me like such a great way to help us let go of things that may seem weighty at first\, but really just to let go and then to hold onto the things that truly are going to impact\, you know\, the future\, and then figuring out how do we handle those chunky problems\, but letting go of the things that maybe are a little less critical. \nI love that. \nJessica Beckendorf: I love that. And I can tell you about one other way I’ve used this is\, I tend to be a little hard on myself when I have interactions with people. And sometimes after I’ll be like\, “Why did you say that? That was so stupid.” And I have actually used this activity to help me kind of think through that. \nAnd it’s been just a really valuable practice. \nCoral Owen: That’s awesome. I would love to hear what other people find use and utility for this practice and how they’re implementing it. \nSo that’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. \nWe’ll be back next week with a practice for reframing failures as learning opportunities. Until then\, keep practicing. \nCredits: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U. S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U. S. Department of Defense\, under award number 2023-48770-41333.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/move-on-from-mistakes-with-the-10-10-10-rule/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/qtq80-SlTSQT.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250130
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250131
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250130T153714Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250130T153714Z
UID:10001551-1738195200-1738281599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Boost Your Productivity with Co-working
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjUzMjg2MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY1MzI4NjAtYm9vc3QteW91ci1wcm9kdWN0aXZpdHktd2l0aC1jby13b3JraW5nLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTY1MzI4NjAlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]Boost your productivity and stay connected with others through the power of co-working! In this episode of Practicing Connection\, learn how structured co-working sessions can enhance focus\, provide accountability\, and create a sense of community—whether in person or virtually. Jessica shares a simple\, step-by-step approach to implementing this practice\, including the use of timed work intervals and background ambiance to boost motivation.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nCoral: Hey there. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host\, Jessica\, is here as well. Today\, we’ll be talking about boosting your productivity with coworking\, and Jessica will be sharing a practice with us. Hi\, Jessica. How are you? \nJessica: Great. Thank you. It’s finally warmed up here a little bit. As we’re recording\, we just came out of a cold snap where I live. I’m very happy to be able to go outside for a little bit today. I do a lot of things at the beginning of the year related to closing out the year before and thinking ahead to this year. \nOne of the things that I did recently that has really\, I don’t know\, boosted my feelings of warmth\, maybe if I can think of– if I can’t think of any other way to describe it is I created what I’m calling my social calendar. At the end of 2024\, I felt like I hadn’t done enough socially with some of my friends\, and I certainly hadn’t seen certain friends as much as I would have liked. \nAfter taking a look at my calendar for 2024\, I realized that I actually had engaged more socially than I thought I had. It’s just that I think maybe certain friends I maybe didn’t see as much as I normally would. I actually decided to create a calendar to track and appreciate or cultivate some gratitude for these interactions because I didn’t notice them during 2024\, which means I wasn’t being mindful about them. I did appreciate every single chance I had. \nI also want to know if I’m not seeing certain friends as much as I would like\, well\, let’s change that. I created this little calendar that I’m still working out the details on\, but I’m trying to have at least a once weekly social interaction of some sort if I can. My goal is to try to make at least one of those be an evening out if I feel like doing that\, because I don’t know\, I’m getting older and I enjoy being home at night. It’s been fun. \nCoral: That’s awesome. That’s such a great reflection. I feel like this ties into and is maybe just a delving into that one area that\, but tacking off the Wheel of Life conversation we had a couple of weeks ago. This sounds like it felt like an area that you wanted to further nurture in 2025. That’s sounds like such a great way to stay intentional and really hold space for those beautiful people in your life. I love that. \nJessica: Yes\, thank you. How have you been lately? \nCoral: I’ve been really great. I’m feeling energized with the new year. Just this week in particular\, I’m feeling a spark for embracing change in the unknown. I was talking with a really dear friend here locally\, well\, she’s local for now\, the other day\, and she was telling me that she is going to be moving from Tampa Bay\, where she’s lived for over 20 years\, to Tulsa\, Oklahoma. For anybody that’s from Florida\, it’s like\, that’s way over there in the middle of the US. \nJessica: That’s a big distance. \nCoral: It’s huge. It’s like a huge shift from moving from the Gulf Coast to Florida. It is out of her typical flow\, an unexpected thing from this person. She’s totally leading into it. I’m really proud of her with this awesome possibilities mindset. What new hobbies can she cultivate? She’s talking about the different experiences she’ll have\, different ways and opportunities of working professionally while also really holding on and caring for the things that she loves about her current life and her current lifestyle. \nI was just thinking about how exciting this is for her\, but how much I loved just that practice of holding onto the things. I think crossing the threshold into a new year\, we can do this in any space that we’re currently in. I was just thinking about how I can do this in my own life of perhaps cultivating new experiences I’ve been thinking about tackling without necessarily like taking a big geographic jump. That’s the spark I’ve been reflecting on lately. \nJessica: I love that. One of my favorite things to do is try new things. I really love that idea. I think that’s a really great practice. Maybe that’s a future practicast doing that reflection and setting some time to actually try the things that you’ve got on your list. I love that. We’d love to hear what’s been inspiring you. \nPlease share what’s inspiring you by clicking the send us a text message at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words do not remove. Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you now. \n[music]\nCoral: Speaking of trying new things\, this week’s practice from my wonderful cohost\, Jessica\, this was a new practice for me. Jessica is going to be walking us through the practice of boosting your productivity with coworking. Jess\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing and also why you chose it? \nJessica: Yes\, absolutely. This has become one of my favorite practices. It’s also social. Since I’m so inspired by social things lately\, that might be one of the reasons\, but I call this practice coworking\, and I started organizing these sessions during the pandemic as a way to have some more human interaction while remaining productive. They also ended up serving as a way to be together in community during this massive global event that was occurring all around us. \nIt’s one of the techniques that stuck with me after we started emerging from our home offices\, or in my case\, I started emerging from my dining room. I might call it coworking\, but I’ve found out over the past couple of years that what I started practicing over the pandemic with my colleagues is actually similar to a technique that has been beneficial to some people who have been diagnosed with ADHD\, and it’s often called body doubling. \nThere isn’t a lot of research out there on this technique yet\, but it has been written about and featured as a practice that supports productivity. I know that it was really helpful for me and for those colleagues who participated in these sessions from conversations with the colleagues and from my own experience. It provided a safe and supportive environment for accountability. Having someone there with whom you can safely share your successes and setbacks and frustrations and your overwhelm and who can encourage you to keep going or inspire you to try new ways of doing things was really– it was just especially useful when I was procrastinating on a task or when I just needed a boost to my productivity. \nI would actually pair these sessions up with other techniques also like the Pomodoro method\, which is about tackling tasks in 25-minute intervals followed by 5-minute breaks. I did that in order to give us some guideposts to follow. You could have a collection of people show up in a room and everyone just says\, “Hey\, how’s it going?” Then you could just all mute and start working or you can have a guidepost like the Pomodoro method. I chose to do the guideposts because I felt like it would be most helpful. \nSince we couldn’t go to coffee shops at the time\, I would often find coffee shop sounds and scenes on YouTube and I would share my screen and the sounds and we would be literally listening to cappuccino being made or there’d be a little bit of light music in the background and some muffled voices in the background. \nSoon\, colleagues were also bringing their own favorite background sounds. There was one colleague who really loved having Tibetan throat singing in the background. We ended up even creating a spreadsheet so that those attending a session could spend a moment at the top of the session choosing what they wanted to for sounds and scenes. It became a thing\, I guess. \nCoral: I love that. What an innovative way to approach that season of life that we all walked through together. If someone wanted to execute this and implement this in their own collegial workspace or with a couple of friends\, could you guide us through the practice step by step and share what that might look like? \nJessica: Yes. I still do this practice from time to time with colleagues. We do it a different way each time\, but I’m going to give you the way that we practice most often. You could either sit in person with somebody or get onto a video conferencing call with the person or a group of people that you’ll be co-working with. \nAt the top of your session together\, you’d spend a few minutes with greetings and sharing what each of you plans to work on. We always did a little bit of a round robin. This is the accountability piece. Spend a few minutes sharing what each of you plans to work on during the first 25-minute session. The host should set a timer for 25 minutes then. Everyone else should mute their audio so that if you talk to yourself while you’re working\, not everyone has to hear it\, and then just get to it. \nWhen the timer goes off\, the host would unmute and let everyone know that it’s break time. I literally would just come on and say\, “Break time\,” set a timer then for five minutes and make it clear that everyone can step away from their desk for five minutes\, walk around\, do whatever they need to do to take care of themselves. Optionally\, you can all share whether you were able to complete the task you planned\, you can celebrate successes or you can share some barriers you experienced before you take a break. Just make sure that doesn’t take too long. \nAfter the 5-minute break is up\, repeat the steps\, start another 25-minute session. In a 1-hour session\, you can get through two 25-minute work sessions if you’re really good with the time\, starting with 2 to 3 minutes at the top of the hour to share what you plan to work on\, then a 25-minute work session followed by a 5-minute break and 2 to 3 minutes to share what you plan to work on again\, and then at the top of the hour\, there would be a 5-minute break. \nI have a couple of tips that I would share as you’re doing this. I recommend scheduling these sessions based on how many work sessions you hope to have. How many of those 25-minute blocks of time you hope to have\, and adding in a few minutes for the group to decide things like whether they want music that day and whether they– any talking will be allowed during the work sessions. For a 1-hour session\, I might recommend scheduling 1 hour and 10 or 15 minutes\, so that you can have that little bit of cushion time for community and connection. Then I would also recommend keeping the group small to maximize psychological safety and time to share. \nCoral: Those are such clear steps and such a great way to get started. Thanks for guiding us through those\, Jess. \nJessica: Ah\, you’re so welcome. I love doing these sessions. They really are very helpful. \nCoral: I’d imagine\, so I can look forward to trying it myself. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click on the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll see you next week. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under Award Number 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:12:47] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/boost-productivity-with-coworking/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/startup-594090_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250123
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250124
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250123T121557Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250123T154416Z
UID:10001550-1737590400-1737676799@oneop.org
SUMMARY:The 1-Minute Agreement
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjQ4NjQ3NyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY0ODY0NzctdGhlLTEtbWludXRlLWFncmVlbWVudC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2NDg2NDc3JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode of Practicing Connection\, we explore the “one-minute agreement\,” a simple yet powerful practice for building consistency and overcoming inertia. Coral shares how this approach can help tackle big goals by breaking them into bite-sized\, manageable steps.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nJessica Beckendorf: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. My co-host Coral is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about the one-minute agreement\, and Coral will be sharing a practice with us. Hi\, Coral\, how are you? \nCoral Owen: Hey\, Jessica\, I’m doing well. Thanks so much. I was just thinking right before we started recording about some of the books that I’ve been reading with my little guy. My son is two\, his name is Kai. There are just some things that we reflect on and that come up thematically in a lot of these really sweet little books. One of them we were reading last night\, it’s about Donald Duck and his garden. It’s actually a book that my grandmother gave me many years ago. Donald Duck– \nJessica: [unintelligible 00:00:53] also a sailor. \nCoral: Totally. He’s actually a gardener in this episode or in this micro story\, which is really funny\, but he’s trying to have success growing all these seeds and Chip and Dale keep coming and eating the seeds\, and he finally figures out through many\, many\, many tries to have a successful method of appeasing his friends that like to eat his garden\, but to grow things. I just thought it was a really sweet moral of the story of just sometimes you need to be creative to have things grow and flourish. Even if you get sidetracked along the way by some chipmunks. That’s what we’ve been reading lately. \nJessica: I love that. I love the playfulness with that. I love the lessons\, the playfulness. It’s just a heartwarming thing to be noticed\, to be present with. I’ve actually been in a bit of a heartwarming situation for myself. I’ve been working with a group that is just so ready to work together. A lot of them didn’t know each other at all. They’re strangers to each other before we started getting together\, but not only are they ready to work together\, they’re all genuinely interested in getting to know each other on a personal and professional level as well. \nI’ve often on this podcast quoted Chad Littlefield’s clever phrase\, connection before content\, because I have witnessed how powerful taking time to connect can be to groups and teams that are trying to get some things done together\, trying to address issues in a community. I rarely come across a group who 100% wholeheartedly is into it and asking me for more of it. It’s really exciting for me. I don’t know. It’s been heartwarming and I’ve been like\, “Oh my gosh\, you guys\, you’re way ahead of me here.” Normally I have to convince people a little bit to spend some time getting to know each other more personally and they are so here for it. \nCoral: That sounds like such a fun team. As you’re saying that I’m reflecting on different spaces that I’ve been in when there is that synergy and just this really good vibe and energy and it just feels good to be part of it. To be able to steward\, guide a group\, I’m sure that’s been a lot of fun to work with those folks. \nJessica: Yes. I want to be clear. I love all of the groups that I have worked with before\, and I enjoy all of those projects. It’s exciting to see the synergy from the get-go when normally it takes much longer to develop that if ever sometimes\, yes. \nCoral: Absolutely. \nJessica: We would love to hear what’s inspiring our listeners. Please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the “send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven-digit number and the words “do not remove.” Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. \nTo protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n[music]\nJessica: Let’s learn more about this one-minute agreement. Coral\, can you tell us a little more about the practice and why you chose it? \nCoral: Absolutely. The one-minute agreement is all about making big goals bite-sized to help us overcome inertia and find consistency. I first came across a version of it in my early twenties. I was racing collegiate triathlon at the University of Florida. There were many times where\, whether collectively or individually\, just it would feel like such a chore to get started on a training session. Our coach\, Coach Will\, is a great guy. He would encourage that even if we weren’t feeling it\, so to speak\, to just head out for 10 minutes of a training session. He would call this the 10-minute agreement. Teammates often called it the 10-minute trap and you’ll see why here in a little bit. \nThe whole idea really is just to get started. This one-minute agreement is all about how can we make this even more bite-sized than the 10-minute agreement. \nJessica: I love this idea. It reminds me of a supervisor I had in the past long time ago\, whose solution to not feeling it was to do it anyway. I always admired that because\, I don’t know\, when I’m not feeling it\, I’m not feeling it. I don’t want to do it. She didn’t want to do it either. She’s like\, but I need to\, so I’m just going to do it. I’d love to learn more. Please walk us through the one-minute agreement. \nCoral: You got it. First off\, figure out your goal. Let’s say for just a hypothetical example\, that you want to be a published author. What habit is going to get you there? Typically a great start if you want to be an author is to start writing. How do we get started with writing consistently? I know a lot of folks may find whether you’re doing blogs or a book or any manner of things\, this writer’s block can be a really real thing that we experience. \nHow do we make it so bite-sized to the point where it would be silly to say\, “Oh\, I can’t do that.” We can do anything for one minute. The one-minute agreement for becoming a published author is perhaps writing one minute a day. I joked about the 10-minute trap from my collegiate triathlon days. The sneaky thing about the consistency of overcoming activation energy with the one-minute agreement is that we so often will just find our groove\, whether it be one minute\, three minutes\, whatever your version of this is\, we’ll often just overcome that activation energy and find a groove and end up going far beyond that timeframe. That’s it. That’s the one-minute agreement. \nJessica: How beautifully simple. I remember from\, there was a show called The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\, and she had a version of this and that was\, you can do anything for 10 seconds. I think this can work at– and that was a sitcom\, so it’s not all real or anything. I’m sure it wasn’t based in evidence or research\, but I’m just saying this is right. If you need to get started\, you can just promise yourself\, you know what\, I can stop after 10 seconds if I want to. You can go as low as you need to\, I would imagine. \nCoral: Yes\, sorry\, I’m getting ahead of myself because I do love this so much\, but you bring up such a great point\, Jessica\, that I neglected to mention. It is that the commitment is only for one minute. If you don’t feel like it beyond that one minute\, you’ve done your minute\, you’ve met the commitment\, you’ve met your parameters for success. That is the win. Then you can just move on with your day after that one minute and not feel any sense of guilt or remorse or like you didn’t hit the mark because the commitment is truly only for that minute. That is a really important piece of this for helping you define and find success consistently. \nJessica: I feel like you can also celebrate that you staved off procrastination. Even if you only worked on it for a minute\, you didn’t procrastinate and you didn’t procrastinate the whole thing. You actually made yourself get started. I think that’s something to celebrate. \nCoral: 1\,000%. \nJessica: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a practice for co-working. What is that? You’ll find out next week. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under Award Number 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:09:38] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/the-1-minute-agreement/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/time-3961758_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250116
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250117
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250116T131528Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250116T150624Z
UID:10001548-1736985600-1737071999@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Habit Stacking
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjQ0Nzc4NiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY0NDc3ODYtaGFiaXQtc3RhY2tpbmcuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjQ0Nzc4NiUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode of Practicing Connection\, Coral talks about Habit Stacking\, a practice that can help you adopt new habits by pairing them with existing ones. Learn more about this adaptable practice that can help you change your behavior. \nResources: \n\n“Atomic Habits” by James Clear\n\n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nJessica: Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. My cohost Coral is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about habit stacking. Coral will be sharing a practice with us. Hi\, Coral. How are you? \nCoral: Hey\, Jessica. I’m doing well. It was so nice to have a couple of weeks over the holiday break to decompress a little bit. I spent a good bit of that time catching up with my folks. They do live just right around the corner from me\, but that pace of life just over the holidays is a little bit more relaxed. One thing I particularly enjoyed was listening to their conversations. \nThey’re planning an upcoming trip to Alaska for a cruise\, which is really different from the way that they’ve traveled in the past\, but it’s going to be their 40th wedding anniversary. Again\, it’s just an interesting thing to listen in on. I’ve listened to lots of their travel conversations over the years\, 40 years. My dad\, these days he navigates some mobility challenges. It was a reflective space that I was in just thinking about how the way they travel has shifted over the course of their partnership. \nIt was really just beautiful to think about the fact that they’re still adventuring together\, even though it looks different in this season of life for them. A nutshell takeaway that I’m going to bring forward into the new year is just looking at things in a different way\, trying things in a different way. Even if the previous ways of doing those things don’t align with this current season\, is there a different way that I can approach things or have it look a little bit differently that serves me better? Being okay with that\, being joyful in that. That’s my spark for this most recent little bit of life. How about you? How are you? \nJessica: That’s wonderful. Approximately how many houses away? Is it around a corner? Is it down the street? I’m curious. \nCoral: It is a 11-minute walk. \nJessica: Oh\, 11-minute walk. It’s a little ways. By contrast\, I live\, it’s approximately four houses away from my mother-in-law’s house\, but it is also around a corner. It feels like it’s a little further\, but it’s really close. I wish my parents lived nearby. That’s really cool that you could witness that. My parents just had their 50th wedding anniversary. Your parents are just right around that corner as well. How cool. \nI’ve actually been\, I guess\, inspired maybe this week by writing some nice things about myself and my work. It’s funny\, but as of our recording\, it’s the time of year when my organization goes through performance management. There’s a lot that I have to say\, and there’s a lot that I dislike about the whole process. \nI have to say\, I would say that about the way performance management is conducted across many\, many\, many organizations\, \nbut there’s one thing I like about this time of year\, because before I meet with my supervisor\, I reflect on all the things that went well and I make sure to notice the things that I felt like I knocked out of the park. I’ll write out all of the things that I accomplished\, whether they were planned accomplishments that are in my performance management report that I need to report on\, or whether they were surprise accomplishments. \nI’m always pleasantly surprised by how many things I’ve accomplished over the year. It’s a nice way to go into the new year. Also\, it makes me very uncomfortable to say nice things about myself and it’s a good exercise for me in general. \nCoral: No\, that’s such an important practice to celebrate our own wins. I love that you can find that sparkle in something that can be a bit of an uncomfortable process. You do amazing work. I’m really glad that you’re able to recognize that for yourself\, Jess. \nJessica: Oh\, thank you. We’d love to hear what’s inspiring you. Please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the “send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven-digit number and the words “do not remove.” Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. \nTo protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneoff.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n[music]\nLet’s learn more about habit stacking\, Coral. Can you tell us a little more about the practice that you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nCoral: Absolutely. If any of our listeners have read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear\, they’re probably already familiar with this practice. I personally love the practice of habit stacking because to me it’s one of the most approachable ways to find or to begin cultivating new habits. Oftentimes when we’re going about new habit formation\, it can feel like we’re just a little bit lost about where to begin. \nHabit stacking gives us something to anchor those new habits in. Behaviorists will refer to this as a trigger. A trigger is something that we recognize that can– Perhaps not recognize\, sometimes it’s subconscious. In this case\, it is conscious. Essentially\, a trigger just helps us kick off another particular action. \nJessica: I feel like that was a really good teaser. I have questions\, but all those questions are about how to do it. Let’s get started with that. Please walk us through how to start habit stacking. \nCoral: Sure thing. First\, I’m \njust going to break it down and then maybe we can walk through an example afterwards to give it greater context and bring it to life. To begin habit stacking\, it’s very straightforward. First\, you just clearly define what habit it is that you would like to establish. The more clearly you can establish this\, the better. Then next\, determine how frequently this habit should happen. This is really important. Should this be daily\, weekly\, monthly? Also\, what time of day does this need to occur if you really want to drill into it? \nNext\, once you’ve got those two bits\, then you can identify a current habit that you already have\, and this will serve as the trigger for the new habit. The key here is that you want the current habit that you have to have a similar frequency to the new habit. For instance\, if your new habit is daily\, you don’t want to pick something that only happens once a week. You want something that has the same frequency so you can keep it going. \nJessica: Let’s go through an example of this. \nCoral: Sure thing. One practice that I’ve always hear friends and colleagues mention as an intention each new year is often mindfulness. It’s always something that can serve us well. Let’s just take mindfulness for an example. A simple mindfulness practice that we can define as a habit is one minute of breathing. Maybe you want to have a mindful minute each day\, so daily. Maybe you want to begin your day with this. With all of that in mind\, so we’ve got a daily habit. It’s short and something that needs to happen towards the start of the day. \nFor me\, something that immediately comes to mind is coffee. No great day ever starts in my life without coffee. I would probably start off by stacking these two habits together. To pull all of this together\, I would summarize my habit stack something like this. Again\, this is going to sound very nuanced\, but again\, the more clearly that you can define all of this\, the better. \nHere’s my habit stack for this instance. When I press the start button on my morning coffee to begin brewing it\, I’ll set a gentle timer on my phone for one minute and breathe slowly in my kitchen with my eyes closed. Then I’ll have my coffee. \nJessica: That’s wonderful. When you first mentioned coffee\, I was thinking about that moment when you sit down with your hot cup\, whether that’s coffee or tea or whatever\, when you sit down with that hot cup and you pick it up and you maybe smell it\, it’s usually too hot for me to drink at first. I usually need to wait a minute for it to cool down anyway\, but I love to hold the hot cup. I was thinking about that moment being when I might establish a one-minute mindfulness breathing exercise. It really can be however it works for you\, I think\, is the point that I’m trying to make here. \nCoral: Absolutely. \nI love that\, too\, you’re bringing in other sensory aspects into this that help you ground in something that would be a mindfulness practice. I have to do it while I’m brewing my coffee. I have a two-year-old and he’s usually up and at them less than five minutes after I wake up without fail. It’s totally about finding how this blends into your life and works with the flow rather than going against the grain and friction. It’s all about flow and helping things just go into the fold more seamlessly than not. \nJessica: It’s a super simple practice. I feel like it has so much leeway for you to decide what’s going to work best for you\, which I think is really important because I think there’s a lot of advice out there about how you should set up your mornings\, how you should set up your evenings\, all the different things that you should incorporate into your day. This is really just\, no\, just find one thing that you already do and tack something small onto it. Thank you so much for sharing this. \nCoral: Absolutely. I’d really be curious to hear what our listeners\, if they’re employing this\, what you’re using habit stacking for to incorporate into your new year. \nJessica: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a practice for incorporating the one-minute agreement. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:11:06] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/habit-stacking/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Photo-by-Crawford-Jolly-on-Unsplash.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250109
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250110
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250109T121520Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250909T175042Z
UID:10001545-1736380800-1736467199@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Easy Priority Setting with the Wheel of Life
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjQwNDcyOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTY0MDQ3MjgtZWFzeS1wcmlvcml0eS1zZXR0aW5nLXdpdGgtdGhlLXdoZWVsLW9mLWxpZmUuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjQwNDcyOCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode of Practicing Connection\, Jessica introduces the Wheel of Life as a simple tool to help set priorities and find balance by identifying areas that need attention. Discover how this practice encourages intentionality\, making it easier to focus on what matters most to you each month.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Coral Owen: Hi there\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Coral. My co-host Jessica is here today as well. Today we’ll be talking about setting priorities with ease using the Wheel of Life\, and Jessica will be sharing a practice with us. Hi Jess\, how are you? \nJessica Beckendorf: I’m doing pretty great today. This time of year\, things slow down in the meeting department\, so I’m able to spend a little time cleaning my office. Actually\, I’ve been inspired this week weirdly by the simple act of cleaning my office. I use copious amounts of Post-it notes for my note taking. As I go through all these tiny Post-it notes and I recycle some old papers that I don’t need anymore and actually start to see my desk and floor again\, it’s really been having an effect on me. I want more\, and I’m not even the person that needs to have a neat workspace in order to like feel productive or get things done. \nIt’s also been fun to be inspired by myself in a lot of ways\, which sounds really weird to say it that way. I find notes with ideas on them that I wasn’t able to pursue yet\, but then I’m reinvigorated by those ideas. I’m like\, “Oh yes\, that’s right. I remember I thought of that one day\, and maybe I can like put that back into the hopper.” Along with that has been the realization that while I have a lot of really good ideas and intentions\, there really is limited time to tackle them. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s not a failure that I didn’t get to do all of the things that I intended to or that I had ideas for this year. It was really just a matter of priority. When I think back\, I feel like I did tackle the right priorities most of the time this year. I feel pretty good about that too. \nCoral: That is awesome. I have a friend. She also lives that sticky notes life. She will from time to time do that deep cleaning\, and she has just– it’s an actual basket. She calls it the percolator. She drops the sticky notes in there. She’s like\, “This is a great idea\, but for a later time.” She just sticks them in there. I really like the idea of being kind with yourself and realizing that we do have limited time in the day\, in the week\, in our lives to do all of the things that hit our brain and they might feel magical and they probably are\, but that there needs to be prioritization and intentionality so that we can still also be ourselves. That’s great. Thanks for sharing that\, Jessica. I love that percolator idea and I might copy that. \nIt’s funny that you mentioned– I don’t know\, I think a lot of times people will share things\, when you ask them\, “Oh\, what’s inspired you?” People tend to think about what they’re reading or whatnot. In a similar vein\, I oddly have found inspiration in my kitchen. This was a little peek into my life outside the podcast realm\, but I’ve gotten into fermenting and pickling in this past year. It’s just something that has piqued my interest\, but it’s also been really intimidating for me for some time because\, I don’t know\, it’s science-y and\, I don’t know\, has always seemed a little less straightforward than a recipe and you measure and bake and it just turns out if it turns out. \nFor whatever reason\, a couple of weeks ago\, I just decided to go for it with some sauerkraut\, and it turned out great. Just my inspiration or takeaway here is that sometimes I just need to trust the process\, not overthink it and just let things do their thing. Yes\, whatever the ‘it’ is\, it can turn out okay if you just let things do what they do. \nJessica: That sounds like great advice for so many things. Also I just love that you can find inspiration in sauerkraut because as a person who really hates pickled anything and fermented things like sauerkraut\, I guess it warms my heart. Plus sauerkraut actually has a special place in my family’s heart\, even though I hate it. My family comes from an area where there’s a big sauerkraut factory and they all have worked there at one point or another. It’s interesting that I hate it so much\, great advice for trust the sauerkraut process. \nCoral: There you go. We should make a bumper sticker. We would also love to hearing what’s inspiring our listeners. Please share what’s inspiring you. You can click the message\, send us a text at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words “Do not remove\,” don’t remove them. You can type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number. We just won’t see your message. Also to protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, unfortunately\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. \nAlso if you’re listening on a computer\, you can just shoot us an email as well\, practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what is inspiring you right now. All right. Jessica\, let’s learn more about the Wheel of Life and how it can help us set priorities. Can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing it and also why you chose it? \nJessica: Absolutely. I am super excited about this because the Wheel of Life is one of my favorite practices. It’s used a lot in coaching\, but I first came to it through a planner. The planner had a monthly review that included\, among other things\, a Wheel of Life and instructions on how to use the Wheel of Life. We’ll go into the details of how to use the tool in a moment\, but it’s basically a pie chart that’s broken out into six or eight or more domains of life\, like financial\, social\, intellectual. You assess how well each of those domains are going for you. Really\, just how you feel about how they’re going for you\, and you assign a value to it. Usually it’s from 1 to 10 with 1 being you’re not feeling fulfilled in that domain of life and 10 being like you’re super fulfilled in that domain of life. \nTypically you’ll color in the spaces or you’ll draw from point to point on the pie chart\, and then the diagram that results from that helps you very quickly see the domains of life that might need your attention. I immediately took to this practice partly because it was super easy because they provided the framework\, and then on top of that\, it was really powerful because in this planner they chose domains of life that would work for– they worked for me anyway. I don’t know if they would work for most people. I guess I’m assuming that they would work for most people. \nIt was super easy and it was really powerful. Every single month I was able to quickly assess which areas of my life were feeling successful and which areas were not. Then I could set some intentions around that. Just the tracking itself was really helpful for noticing the little impromptu moments that were actually helping me with one of my goals\, partly because I was so aware of the areas of life that were feeling successful and then the areas of life that weren’t feeling successful for me\, that in the moment I started to notice like\, “Oh\, this social interaction I’m having right now is helping me with my intention that I set that I wanted to have more social interactions.” I would notice it more. It improved my noticing skills in a way. Just tracking it was really helpful. \nOver time\, I started to write in my own domains of life where it made sense. If you write in your own domains to get started\, I would recommend using some sort of framework out there that has been tested a little bit just to get started. After a while\, when you’ve been doing it\, you start to recognize maybe where the framework isn’t working for you as well\, but you could use something like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s Eight Domains of Wellness or Health.mil’s Total Force Fitness\, or whatever is important to you right now. We’ll have links to both of those resources in the show notes. Overall\, this activity\, partly because I was practicing it monthly and partly because it is such a powerful tool\, I really was able to make decisions about the upcoming month and what I felt like I needed to do in that upcoming month to just find a little bit of balance in my life. That’s why I chose it. \nCoral: I love that so much. My background is in health education\, and one of the things that we would often talk about is the multifaceted composition of identity and the habits that support health and well-being from a multitude of angles. I just love that this practice so accurately reflects how we can cultivate wellness and well-being and health in all of those different scopes and how they feed together. I would love to hear more about how we can actually do this thing. Could you guide us through some steps\, Jessica? \nJessica: Yes\, absolutely. We’re going to have a resource that you can download where you can fill out your own Wheel of Life. We’ll have an example that has the domains of life filled in for you\, and then we’ll have a blank one available as well. You’ll be able to draw this in. You’ll want to start then with a template with the domains of life already identified\, or you of course can also identify your own. If you identify your own\, I would just reiterate that you might want to use something like SAMHSA’s Eight Domains of Wellness or Health.mil’s Total Force Fitness. \nThen you’re going to go through looking at those domains and you’re going to rate your current level of satisfaction in each domain. Don’t worry about accuracy. If you can\, just go with your gut feeling or think about for each of the domains\, you could also think about what parameters would make you feel successful in that area. In my case\, I was able to go with my gut\, but I know that may not work for everyone. \nYou are going to go through each one. You’re going to say to yourself\, “Do I feel like this area rates a 1\, which is low\, or a 10\, which is high\, or somewhere in between?” Plot it out on the wheel. You can choose to color each section in\, or you can place dots and draw a line connecting those dots from domain to domain. \nThen step back. You don’t have to literally step back. Take a look at the results. Look at the shape of your diagram. Are there some areas that feel like they need attention? I want to mention that the goal here isn’t so that you work toward having all of those domains of life at a 10. It’s not so that you’re maxing them all out. This is really about how do you feel about each of those domains? Maybe there are some domains where you feel really successful at a 5\, and that’s okay. This is really about how do you feel about how things are going. \nOnce you take a look at that\, if you feel like there’s an area that needs attention\, maybe it’s relationships. You think about\, well\, what relationships in the coming month\, if I were able to do something about this domain of life\, which relationships would help me do that? What would help me create some balance in that domain? You can set a few intentions for the coming month. I do like a monthly basis\, but you can also do this annually if you prefer. \nThen you set some goals and some intentions around the domains that you feel like could use a little work. You’re not striving for perfection here. You’re just striving for a tiny bit more balance. If you felt like that relationships area was super low\, and you’re not satisfied\, and you can think of 10 things that you could do to change that\, you don’t have to do all 10 of those things. Just do a couple\, and you will already have started to make that area more successful. I love this practice of intentionality and also being able to do it throughout the year. \nCoral: Thanks for guiding us through\, Jessica. \nJessica: Oh\, absolutely. This has been hugely helpful. I’ll admit I have been out of practice with this and just doing this episode has made me pull out my old diagrams\, and I’m going to get going on it again because it really is a great exercise. \nCoral: Great. I think I may actually leverage it for myself and we can check in with each other around the first of the month. \nJessica: Love that. Yes\, let’s do that. \nCoral: Wonderful. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend or a colleague. We’ll be back next week with a practice for habit stacking. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U.S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U.S. Department of Defense under award number 2023-48770-41333. you \n[00:14:05] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/priority-setting-wheel-of-life/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Untitled-design2.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20250102
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20250103
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20250102T145407Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250102T145407Z
UID:10001540-1735776000-1735862399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:New Year\, New Co-host
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjM2OTQ4MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYzNjk0ODMtbmV3LXllYXItbmV3LWNvLWhvc3QuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjM2OTQ4MyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode\, Jessica Beckendorf introduces Coral Owen as the new co-host of Practicing Connection. They reflect on their journey working together\, share insights into the podcast’s evolution\, and discuss the importance of consistent small practices for personal and professional growth.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nKalin Goble: Welcome to Practicing Connection\, a podcast exploring the personal stories and collective practices that empower us to work together to improve our resilience and readiness in a rapidly changing world. \nJessica Beckendorf: Happy New Year. Thanks so much for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica. I’m super excited to introduce you all to Coral Owen\, who has been doing incredible work behind the scenes on the podcast for a while. Now you all get to finally hear her voice as my new co-host. Coral\, welcome. \nCoral Owen: Hey\, Jessica. Thanks so much for the warm welcome. It’s a little wild to be here talking with you rather than being behind the scenes\, but I am certainly welcoming the change in scenery and really looking forward to being on this side of things. \nJessica: One of the things that’s gone through my mind a little bit is\, when we first approached you about this\, you’ve been behind the scenes for a while\, and you’ve been doing wonderful work there. When we approached you about being in front of the scenes\, what made you say yes? \nCoral: Like you said\, I have been in a production role here with the podcast\, a lot of the webinars that we do on other side of the house in OneOp\, but after rolling it around for a little while\, the offer to join you as co-host going forward\, the thing that really did hook me in is this opportunity to have a front row seat\, to really intentionally dig into great practices with you. This is something that you and I have done for quite some time\, just one-to-one. Just the intentionality to have these– This is sounding very self-serving going through this response. I am really looking forward to just having those conversations with you more regularly. Hopefully it also benefits our listeners as we go through and dig into these great practices and stories and conversations. \nJessica: I’m really looking forward to that too. Just in our planning meetings\, as we get together and we brainstorm some future episodes and guests and things like that\, it’s been the energy between us has been really fun. We’ve been able to play off of each other really well. Really\, that should have been apparent to us from the first time we met because I met you before I was– probably a good– it was about six months before I became a member\, a full-on\, fully-fledged member of the OneOp team\, which at the time was called Military Families Learning Network\, because it was a long time ago that we met\, and it was such a fun interaction. \nCoral: It was. Yes. I remember there are a few folks\, every so often\, that I clearly remember meeting for the first time\, and you’re one of those people. I think we were at a e-extension conference in San Antonio. I had just joined OneOp. This was almost 10 years ago. That’s wild. I just remember having just a really– Mixers to me have always been a little uncomfortable\, but I remember I was like\, “This guy looks so cool.” We got to chatting. I just felt so at ease and really enjoyed our conversation and learning more about you and the work that you’ve been doing. I remember being so thrilled when you joined the project. We’ve just continued to have really great conversations over the years that we’ve worked together. Here we are. \nJessica: I forgot it was a mixer that we met at. That’s fun. That was a great conference. Likewise\, Coral\, I never have forgotten meeting you\, and then we ended up collaborating right away on a couple of articles. What are you most excited about for our work or for the podcast as we move into 2025 and beyond? \nCoral: I think I already alluded to this a little bit that being in front of the mic is somewhat of a growth space for me. That’s one of the things that I’m trying to lean into a bit more intentionally this year. Getting into those growth spaces that can feel a little bit uncomfortable at first. That is not a bad thing in any sense. That is something that\, just that understanding\, is something that I would like to carry forward into our conversations. \nThe practices and stories that we’re telling throughout this year is just encouraging everyone who’s joining us in these conversations to inhabit spaces that may feel a little bit frictiony\, a little uncomfortable\, because that is what enables us to evolve into that next most awesome version of ourselves. Hopefully that can help foster that adventure for some other folks that are tuning in. This time of year tends to be a lot of momentum and sparking new ideas and practices. I’ve also found it to be a really beautiful time to reflect. \nSomething I was curious\, Jessica\, are there any reflections about your journey with the podcast so far? Because you all have been up to this for quite some time. As we embark on this next new season\, are there any reflections or anything that you could share that you’re looking forward to in 2025? \nJessica: Yes\, lots of reflections. Oh my goodness\, we put so much thought before we started this podcast. We put so much thought into it. We talked to colleagues in our\, at the time\, Military Families Learning Network. Now it’s OneOp. We talked to all of our colleagues. We got input on like\, what did they want this podcast to feel like? What kinds of things did they want the podcast to talk about? What kinds of professional development areas did they want it to focus on? \nIt wasn’t like we got specific topics from everyone. It was really more like the big picture. What big picture things do you want it to tackle? We started with only– I can’t remember if it was six or eight a year. Our first few seasons\, there’s only six or eight episodes in a year. They were put out monthly\, and then we would take a break. It was really a evolution that was interesting to me because at first we started with tackling those topics\, those big picture areas that our colleagues had said might be really important for professional development. \nThen we started to evolve based on other input that we were getting. For me\, I’m really excited about how we’ve evolved into we have a bit of a long form episode at the top of the month. That’s a strong word to use because they’re typically only maybe 40 minutes at the longest. We have a little bit of a longer form where we try to do an interview based on input or stories that we’ve heard about that we want to highlight and lift up to show examples of the military family readiness system in action. \nThen we have these little practices that we’re trying to put out there. I don’t expect that there’s anyone out there who’s listening to all of our short practicasts and practicing every single thing. It’s really about finding the thing that sparks you or that you feel like you could incorporate into your daily work and leaving the rest behind\, if you’re like\, “No\, that’s not for me. I know that’s not for me.” What I’m excited about is that we’re giving people those options\, and we’re hopefully helping them show up a little differently in the directions that they want to show up in\, in their daily life and work. \nCoral: One of my current favorite podcasts they talk about– it’s called Mentor Buffet. This is reminding me that this is like a practice buffet. \nJessica: Totally. Oh my gosh\, I love that. \nCoral: It’s been such a great journey both to listen in but also to support along the way. Thanks for sharing those reflections and also a prospective look. Jess\, thanks. \nJessica: No\, you’re so welcome. Along with all these practices we’ve been sharing\, I know you and I are going to be sharing many practices in the year to come. Yet I’m wondering if you have something that’s supporting your development and growth right now that you can share with us all. You know it’s a tradition on this podcast with our interviewees\, and you are the interviewee today\, to try to share a practice\, if they have one\, that’s supporting them right in this moment right now. \nCoral: I’m laughing because you can probably see this as we’re recording\, Jessica\, and all of my colleagues are probably familiar with. I’m just going to air quotes here. The big donkey calendar\, it hangs right to the left of my desk. Essentially\, since y’all are just listening to this and can’t see what I’m talking about\, it’s a year at a glance. It’s something that I began using this past year\, 2024\, just to get a really quick hit look at the year as a whole\, just for planning and whatnot. \nThat’s the original intent that I purchased and installed it with. Really\, what I didn’t anticipate is that it would help me develop consistency on a couple of small practices throughout this past year. Again\, this prompted\, unexpectedly\, a mindset shift away from executing with perfection to executing sometimes imperfectly\, but on a more regular and consistent basis. What I found\, now that closing out 2024\, is that those small wins consistently have really added up to a much greater sum than shooting for big days less frequently and less consistently. I’ve just now installed my 2025 calendar and look forward to cultivating a couple of smaller consistent practices going forward in the new year. That’s mine. What about you? Is there something that you’re looking to leverage this coming year? \nJessica: Yes. First I want to just quick mention that if you try looking at big donkey calendar to try to emulate what Coral is practicing\, you won’t find it. Just think of another word for donkey\, and you’ll get there. \nCoral: We’ve got to keep it professional here\, Jess. \nJessica: I love that practice so much that actually I’ve got one of those calendars in my cart right now. Hopefully you’ll see one hanging next to my desk sometime soon. For me\, the one that I wanted to share with you all is my team a while back has started to institute what we’re calling a five in five. It’s basically like\, what are the five most important things coming up this week or next short enough to be delivered in five minutes so that we can get through our updates in a short amount of time\, and then we can get on to some other things that we need to collaborate on. \nIt sounds like\, you guys have heard me talking before\, and I think I often am like\, “Hey\, connection before content\,” which is a phrase that I enjoy from another facilitator. I really think these five in five updates have actually been really helpful to all of us as a team in how we’re able to share just a quick update so that we can get to the content with each other\, and we can get to connecting with each other. I think I’m going to probably refine my five in five process because I do write a little too much about it. I’d like to shorten it to a few short bullets. \nCoral: I love that. I look forward to hearing how that evolves for you over the year. Maybe we even share that as a practice sometime in the year. \nJessica: I’d be happy to put a little more sort of structure around it and share how it’s working for our team too. We have a distributed team across the state. It’s really helpful to have these short little shared pieces that anyone can go and look at. That is it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. Coral\, welcome one more time. I’m so excited that you decided to take this on as part of your journey. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app and share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a practice for easy priority setting with the Wheel of Life. Until then\, keep practicing. \nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U.S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U.S. Department of Defense\, under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333. \n[00:12:42] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/new-year-new-cohost/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/calendar-2559888_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241226
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241227
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20241226T140014Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20241226T140602Z
UID:10001538-1735171200-1735257599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Strategies for Navigating Challenging Conversations
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjM0MDk4MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYzNDA5ODAtc3RyYXRlZ2llcy1mb3ItbmF2aWdhdGluZy1jaGFsbGVuZ2luZy1jb252ZXJzYXRpb25zLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTYzNDA5ODAlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this encore episode of Practicing Connection\, Bob and Jessica discuss the importance of navigating challenging conversations. Jessica introduces a practical activity designed to help manage emotions and foster constructive dialogue\, whether in personal or professional settings.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nBob: Hi\, and thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Bob. My co-host Jessica is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about having challenging conversations and Jessica will be sharing a practice with us. I’m looking forward to that. Hey\, Jessica. How are you? \nJessica: I am great. I’ve actually been binging a show\, a very old show called Deadwood. I think it’s 20 years old at this point. Never seen it before. Had never heard of it. I’ve just been obsessed with it lately. I am by no means a history buff\, and I’m not sure I should be admitting that anywhere\, but honestly\, every single character I’ve been looking up. Is this a real person? Then if it is a real person\, I end up going down this rabbit hole\, learning all about them. \nThis is both a testament to the quality of the show\, but that’s not really what has gotten my curiosity piqued. It’s really\, once I find out it’s a real person\, I’m like\, “Did they really do this thing? How long did they live? Did they live through Deadwood?” Because that is a pretty rough place. I’ve just been really excited to learn about a piece of our nation’s history. Again\, never heard of it. This snuck up on me. I’m absolutely hooked and fascinated. \nBob: That’s awesome. First of all\, I’ve not watched Deadwood\, but I have been to Deadwood\, South Dakota. That’s something. I get what you’re saying. I had the same experience with a show called The Great\, which is much more fictionalized\, it sounds like\, than what you’re talking about\, but deals with Catherine the Great and real characters. I was busy. I spent more time on Wikipedia trying to see what was actual and what was not accurate as I did watching the show. It was a fun two screen experience. \nJessica: Was the acting also incredible? That’s one thing I’ll say in Deadwood\, the acting is incredible. \nBob: I think so. I think it’s a crazy show. Don’t turn it on and say\, “Why did Bob recommend this show?” I’m not recommending it. I’m just saying I had this experience. Lately\, I’ve been watching the Olympics as we’re recording this in early August 2024. It’s Olympics time in Paris. It’s been a beautiful Olympics just in terms of the camera shots and scenery\, by the way\, in the city of Paris\, which has been really awesome. I’ve really been inspired by the stories that have highlighted community support and self-care. \nWe are in the US\, as most of our listeners know so most of the stories that I hear are about American athletes. I wish that the coverage had more stories about athletes from around the world. Just admitting that my biased lens that I have to look through this\, it’s been really inspiring to see how the athletes in gymnastics have supported each other\, both in the men’s and the women’s competitions. I was watching some of the individual apparatus competitions and competitors really seem genuinely happy for each other’s success. \nAgain\, we’re watching on TV\, so everything is just seeming\, but it seemed like they were just as interested in each athlete achieving the best that they are capable of as they were in terms of winning or losing. I saw a feature about American swimmer Caleb Dressel’s struggles with panic attacks and depression and how therapy and family support has helped him really change his self-talk and become better balanced. I think it just speaks to how much more we are talking about mental health and self-care that even in this ultimate competition\, the best of the best\, the Olympics\, that we are talking to each other about how to become better balanced and more healthy. \nJessica: Wow\, I love that perspective. It’s almost like the Olympics is both the original and the healthiest reality TV that we have available to us. That and The Great British Baking Show\, because they also support each other. \nBob: They really do. I do love that about The Great British Baking Show. We’d love to hear what’s inspiring you. Please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the send us a text message link at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open. You’ll see a seven digit number and the words do not remove. Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove the number or we won’t receive your message. \nTo protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we will share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us with what inspires you at practicingconnectionat@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. We’d love to hear from you. \n[music]\nLet’s learn more about having challenging conversations. Jessica\, this is something as we’ve been talking about financial well-being over the last couple of weeks now. That is really important. Those are one of the most challenging conversations you can have\, I think\, are conversations about finances and money. Can you tell us a little bit more about the practice that you’ll be sharing today and why you chose it? \nJessica: There’s a lot of emotions that can come up around money. A lot of things can come up and there’s a lot of practices out there for starting conversations that can be uncomfortable\, like conversations about money. Things like our past experiences and our upbringing and our emotions around those experiences can really cause us to go into immediate fight\, flight\, freeze modes\, and then it just ends up being unproductive. A lot of my background is in civic engagement\, and I really thought there’s some healthy practices within the civil dialogue area. \nBecause of my experiences with seeing them work\, and because I think they provide a great foundation for talking about any challenging topic where we might find ourselves dealing with heightened emotions\, I just thought it would be a really interesting place to start. This particular activity that I chose for today\, it’s called Hopes and Concerns. I find it to be a really effective way to discuss our own discomfort with the act of talking about challenging topics. \nReally\, essentially\, it’s a disarming way to begin. Collectively\, either you and another person or you and the group that you’re talking with will end up with strategies for how you’re going to handle or support each other when the conversation turns challenging. The practice focuses on the conversation. It focuses on the mechanics of that conversation\, not on the challenging topic itself. It also does not focus on the challenging dynamics that come up. \nI got this from the Constructive Dialogue Institute\, where they say that this activity can help lower tension and anxiety before it ever starts to creep up. By focusing on the mechanics of the conversation\, so the things that you hope you’ll get out of the conversation and the things that you might find challenging about having a conversation\, that’s what I’m talking about when I say it focuses on the mechanics of the conversation rather than digging right into the hard topics. \nBob: This sounds really exciting. It makes me think of a couple of things. I’m going to use a word that is not quite I mean. The word I’m going to use is detachment. It’s like when we’re talking about holding space\, we talk about how we can be there for someone without judgment. That’s what I mean by that detachment\, is that sort of maybe trying to set aside some of our core beliefs and what might trigger us. This sounds like a really great way to do it. I’m wondering if you might walk us through the practice. \nJessica: It’s actually really easy. Again\, it’s called the Hopes and Concerns activity from the Constructive Dialogue Institute. We’ll include a link to the activity itself in the show notes. You can do this on your own to prepare for a conversation that you believe will be challenging or you can do this with another person or with a group of people to prepare for a shared conversation about challenging topics. I’ve modified the activity slightly from the original\, but you’ll get a link to the original rather than to my modification of it. It’s really slight. \nI’m going to share the activity as though you were going to do this with others. Again\, you can just as easily do this on your own to prepare for a challenging conversation. First\, you’re going to have everyone reflect on a conversation that did not go as well as they had wanted or hoped. You could let them know that it could be a conversation from work or with a friend or with a stranger. Have them really think about what happened\, how they felt about what happened\, and what they could have done differently at that moment or what they wish the other person would have done differently. \nThe second step is to take a moment to pause to remind everyone that the goal of this activity is not to replicate what you just had them think about. The goal is to come up with a new type of conversation. This is where we start to get into identifying the hopes and concerns that they have. As you’re taking this moment to pause\, give them the two questions to ponder. Ask them to contemplate their hopes. Thinking about our group or purpose when it comes to engaging in constructive dialogue about issues that are challenging to discuss\, what do you most hope for? \nThen the other question is what do you worry about most when you think about these types of conversations? What do you worry about engaging in a conversation like this? The third step then is sharing. We’re past the reflection stage and now we’re going to start sharing a lot more. Have everyone use note cards or sticky notes. Instruct them to write hopes at the top of one note card or sticky note and write the word concerns on another card or sticky note. \nThen just have them start brainstorming as many hopes and concerns as they want. You can either instruct them to list it on the card or you can have them have a brand new one for each card. It doesn’t matter. It’s really up to you. When they’re done\, you can have them fold up their cards or sticky notes and put them into a bowl where they can take turns plucking them out one by one and discussing each of them as a group or you can have them stick or tape the notes to the wall and have everyone silently walk around reading them. \nEither way\, make sure that you’ve got a way of sharing where things are being equitably looked at. Then number four\, discuss. How can we support each other in achieving some of these hopes? How can we support each other in mitigating or avoiding some of these concerns? The answer to these questions can be used then to guide the conversation as you get into those challenging topics. I want to just repeat those last two questions. How can we support each other in achieving some of these hopes and how can we support each other in mitigating or avoiding some of these concerns? That’s really it. It’s reflection\, sharing\, and discussing about the challenging conversation that you will be having as a group rather than having the conversation. \nBob: Thanks for guiding us through that\, Jessica. I’m wondering if we could talk a little bit about how we might use this if we aren’t in a group. If we’re doing it to prepare for a challenging conversation and it occurs to me that maybe it’s going to require some perspective taking so that we can not just focus on our hopes for a conversation. \nJessica: I would still have you go through the steps of\, so reflect on a conversation that didn’t go as well as you had wanted or hoped. What happened? How did you feel? What could you have done differently or what do you wish the other person would have done differently? Then I’d still want you to write through what your hopes are and concerns are about that. Just like we would have gone through the activity with others. When it comes to this conversation that you’re preparing for\, what do you hope for? \nThen when it comes to this conversation\, what do you worry about the most when you think about the conversation you’re going to have? I think for the sharing\, I think you could formulate your response to this. When you meet with the person\, when you do get to that point of meeting with a person\, you can share. I really hope for this. How does that sound to you? You can check in with them. They didn’t have the benefit of going through the other parts of the activity with you. You could also choose to take them through the first two parts. \nYou guys\, when you get to the sharing\, you could share together. I think that once it gets to the sharing\, that’s where it involves other people. You could choose to share when you get into the conversation and you could check in using that. Then you could ask for their hopes and their concerns. I want to be careful that you’re not crossing a line into trying to steer a conversation in a way that you only hope for it to be. I do feel like you can still have a hope for the conversation. I think a lot of people do when they go into one. I think if you’re not going to share what that hope is\, then I think just be really careful that you’re not using that to steer. I do think you could have a plan for how you’re going to support yourself through some of those concerns. \nBob: You anticipated where my mind was going about if we’re only concerned with our hopes. I love the idea of actually saying\, “Here are my hopes for this conversation. What are yours?” That’s really powerful. \nJessica: I really find this activity to be helpful\, especially if you’re the kind of person who has a hard time with challenging conversations. If you at least know how you’re going to support yourself through some of the concerns that you have\, and if you have your hope articulated to a point where you could share them with other people and it could help take some of the tension down in the room\, I think that could go a long way toward actually getting to the challenging topic. \nBob: Thank you so much again for sharing that practice. \nJessica: You’re so welcome. \nBob: That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a practice for perspective taking. Until then\, keep practicing. \nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense. Under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:16:06] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/strategies-for-navigating-challenging-conversations/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/png:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/men-7835596_1280.png
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241219
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241220
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20241219T133537Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20241219T133537Z
UID:10001537-1734566400-1734652799@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Letting Go to Make Room for Growth
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjMwODcwNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYzMDg3MDQtbGV0dGluZy1nby10by1tYWtlLXJvb20tZm9yLWdyb3d0aC5qcyUzRmNvbnRhaW5lcl9pZCUzRGJ1enpzcHJvdXQtcGxheWVyLTE2MzA4NzA0JTI2cGxheWVyJTNEc21hbGwlMjIlMjB0eXBlJTNEJTIydGV4dCUyRmphdmFzY3JpcHQlMjIlMjBjaGFyc2V0JTNEJTIydXRmLTglMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this practicast\, inspired by Heather Plett’s book The Art of Holding Space\, Bob Bertsch shares a practice for letting go of something to create space for new possibilities. Our co-creator for this episode was our OneOp colleague\, Kristen Jowers. \nThis encore episode originally aired on April 25\, 2024.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nKristen Jowers: New possibilities are opportunities or potential outcomes that arise from changes\, innovation\, or exploration\, expanding the realm of what can be imagined or achieved. Hi everyone\, this is Kristen Jowers\, guest host for today’s practice. Welcome to this week’s Practicing Connection Practicast\, where we highlight a specific practice you can use in your life and work. In this month’s practicast\, we’ve been talking about different ways to hold space for others. \nHolding space refers to the act of being fully present with someone else without judgment or distraction so that the person can share their experiences and perspective. Bob Bertsch will be guiding us through the practice to help us hold space for new possibilities in a few minutes\, but first\, let’s learn more about it. Hi\, Bob. What does it mean to hold space for new possibilities? \nBob Bertsch: Hi Kristen\, thank you so much for guest hosting and for giving me the opportunity to talk about this. As you mentioned before\, holding space is about being present without judgment so that experiences and perspectives can be shared. Most times when we’re talking about holding space\, we’re doing those things for someone else or even for ourselves. When we’re holding space for new possibilities\, however\, we’re focused not on people but more on the potential for change. \nWhen there’s a potential for change\, we’re in what’s called liminal space\, and that’s a place of transition between where we’ve been and where we’re going or between who we are and who we’re becoming. We’re on the threshold of something new in that space\, but we’re not quite there yet. Understanding liminal space is important when we’re holding space for others because that’s often the space that we’re holding for them. In her book\, The Art of Holding Space\, Heather Plett describes liminal space as the space where something\, “Has dissolved and a new thing has not yet emerged to take its place.” \nWhen people are experiencing some kind of loss and waiting for the next thing to emerge\, we can hold that space for them or help them hold that space so they have the time and support to let that thing emerge instead of clinging to what was before or rushing forward toward things that may mitigate their pain but delay the transition. Let’s think about holding liminal space in the context of any work you’re doing or have done. There’s times when something important in our work\, maybe a process we’ve used or a concept that we’ve relied on\, or maybe a core value that we’ve realized is not just as important as we thought it was when that thing dissolves. \nOur instinct is often to rush to replace it instead of holding that liminal space\, the space that we need for new possibilities to emerge. If we can be more comfortable in that liminal space and learn to hold it\, then new possibilities will have the chance to emerge. They could be possibilities that just wouldn’t have happened if we skipped over that place of uncertainty\, that liminal space. \nKristen: When I hear you describe new possibilities\, I think that sounds really exciting\, but I like certainty and not knowing can be a really uncomfortable place for me. Why is it so hard? \nBob: It’s definitely difficult because we just don’t like uncertainty\, any of us. Like our relations in the animal kingdom\, humans are afraid of uncertainty. In an uncertain situation\, we will try really almost anything to make things more predictable\, including replacing one broken process with another so we can get out of that uncertain liminal space. If we can see liminal space as a space for creation\, I think we can balance the fear of that uncertainty with hope and excitement for the possibilities of what is about to emerge. \nWhile that’s helpful to think about those new possibilities with hope and excitement\, we also need to be aware that there are cultural norms of efficiency and productivity that are constantly pushing us to move faster and skip over that liminal space. We can’t forget that we’re people as we’re operating within this liminal space. That means that on some level\, we’re probably also grieving the loss of what came before. That might sound a little bit weird when we’re talking about a process\, but there is going to be some sense of loss and grief even if that something that is dissolving is something that we all agree was not working.. With all of that going on\, we need to counterbalance that by being very mindful and intentional about holding onto that liminal space and letting new things emerge. \nKristen: I really appreciate how you punctuate that grief process. How do you decide who holds space and who takes up the space and how do I hold space when no one else in the room is? \nBob: That’s a great question. It’s definitely a challenge to hold liminal space in a group. I don’t know if it is possible for one person alone to hold space for a whole group\, like a team\, for instance. First\, let go of any expectation that you might be putting on yourself to hold that space alone for your whole team or organization. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself\, and I think we have to let that go. \nThat said\, if the group as a whole is familiar with the concept of holding space and committed to holding space for each other\, I think they can hold space for new possibilities even when a particular group member might want to move ahead. When that’s happening\, a group can hold space for the member who’s experiencing that fear. It takes some empathy to do that and recognition that way we’re all subject to feeling that way and feeling that fear of uncertainty\, and so if the group as a whole can hold space for that person\, it can be really effective. \nIf you’re in a group that hasn’t developed that shared commitment to holding space\, recognize it’s not your responsibility to hold that space for the whole group alone\, but you can still hold space for new possibilities in your own mind. You can offer new directions for the group if you do it with compassion and empathy. You can point out when the group might be clinging to something that has already dissolved\, and you might suggest pausing a conversation when things might be rushing toward a quick fix by just saying something like\, “Hey\, maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Could we take a breath and just think about what might be possible.” \nIf you express that you feel like something new could emerge\, if the group’s willing to hold that space\, it might allow the group to join with you in allowing it to do so. \nKristen: Let’s get started. Please walk us through the practice. \nBob: The practice I want to share helps us hold space for new possibilities by getting us used to letting something go and seeing something new emerge. It was inspired by Heather Plett’s personal practice of painting on the same canvas over and over again. Each time she’s covering up something that she created\, something that might be beautiful or valuable to her\, she’s covering that up with something new. \nHeather’s practice reminded me of Austin Kleon’s blackout poetry. What Austin does with blackout poetry is he lets poems emerge from the words in newspaper articles. The practice today\, we’re going to create a blackout poem\, but if we do it with a newspaper\, I don’t think we’re going to get the full effect because there’s no reason for us to want to cling onto a newspaper article\, so we want to get that idea of letting go of something and taking some liminal space to let something new emerge. \nThe first step in the practice is going to be for you to find a piece of writing that has some value to you. My first thought was a page from a book that I love\, but you could also use something that you wrote yourself or something that was written for you\, like a letter. I think it’s best to do this with a printed copy rather than electronically because we want that little sense of loss. \nA note that this is a practice\, we don’t want to have really\, really high stakes\, at least at the start\, so you might not want to choose your first edition copy of Walden Pond or the letter your great-grandpa wrote to your great-grandma during World War II. We want to choose something that you value\, but something that you can bear to let go of. Now that you have your piece of writing that we’re going to use\, next you’re going to need a pen or a fine-tipped marker\, so we want something that we can make some fine lines with. \nThen we also want a broad-tipped marker\, something that we can use to black out the words. If your piece of writing has multiple pages\, like a book\, randomly choose a page\, and then we’re going to scan the page and just note any words or short phrases that stand out to us by drawing a box around them with our pen or fine-tipped marker. Make sure that we’re scanning the page\, not reading it. We’re not seeking the meaning of what’s already written. We’re trying to create something new. Once you have some words or phrases selected that stand out to you\, and you’ve drawn the box around them\, you can start to look for other words that might help connect them into a poem. Here’s an example. Austin Kleon’s got a blackout poem. It’s called Overheard on the Titanic. The main words and phrases that I’m guessing Austin boxed first\, the ones that stood out to him was the sentence\, “I mean yes\, we’re sinking\,” the word music\, and the word exceptional. Those are the things that probably stuck out to him initially. \nThen he found connecting words to turn that into a poem. The connecting words he found are but\, the\, and is. The poem ends up reading like this. “I mean yes\, we’re sinking\, but the music is exceptional.” You see how that works. We get our big words\, then we can use some connecting words to tie it all together. If you’re having any trouble visualizing this\, check out the show notes for this episode at oneop.org/podcast. We’ll put a link there to Austin Kleon’s video on how to do blackout poetry. \nNow we’ve drawn our boxes around our main words and phrases and our connecting words. They all read the way that we want them to. We’ve connected them all together. We’ve made a little poem. The next step is to take your broad tipped marker and black out all the other words on the page so that all that remains readable are the words that you drew boxes around. This is part of like Heather’s painting over. If we just drew boxes around the words in our book\, for instance\, we might not have really made anything new and we really haven’t let go of that page. \nWe could still read that page just like we read it without the boxes around the words. Once we black out all the other words\, we’re really creating something new and letting go of something old. Then once you’ve blacked out those words\, that’s it. That’s your blackout poem. You’ve let go of something that you valued and held the space necessary for something new to emerge. If you’d like\, take a photo of your blackout poem\, share it with friends\, or you can post it to the Practicing Connection community on LinkedIn\, and that’ll give you an opportunity to share your experience and reflect on how it felt to hold space for new possibilities. \nKristen: That’s wonderful\, Bob. Thank you for guiding us through. \nBob: You’re welcome. \nKristen: That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. We hope you’ll give this practice a try and share your experience\, as Bob said\, in the Practicing Connection LinkedIn group where people supporting military families practice the skills that empower us to work together so that we can positively impact our communities and help families thrive. You’ll find that link to the group on our website at oneop.org/practicingconnection. We’ll be back next week with an in-depth episode discussing how to watch for opportunities to think big\, one of the eight ways of cultivating community resilience that we identified in our Connecting Communities in Asset Based Community Recovery project. Until then\, keep practicing. \nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of One Op and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense\, under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:14:00] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/letting-go-to-make-room-for-growth/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/poppy-4896275_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241212
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241213
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20241212T121556Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20241211T175231Z
UID:10001536-1733961600-1734047999@oneop.org
SUMMARY:The Power of Connection\, Reflection\, and Evolution with Bob Bertsch
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjI2MTgxMyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYyNjE4MTMtdGhlLXBvd2VyLW9mLWNvbm5lY3Rpb24tcmVmbGVjdGlvbi1hbmQtZXZvbHV0aW9uLXdpdGgtYm9iLWJlcnRzY2guanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjI2MTgxMyUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]In this episode\, Jessica Beckendorf and Bob Bertsch reflect on Bob’s time as co-host and his transition to a new role as national project leader for OneOp. Together\, they revisit key moments from the Practicing Connection podcast\, share insights from their collaboration\, and explore practices that support personal and professional growth.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nKalin Goble: Welcome to Practicing Connection\, a podcast exploring the personal stories and collective practices that empower us to work together to improve our resilience and readiness in a rapidly changing world. Here to start the conversation are Jessica Beckendorf and Bob Bertsch. \nJessica Beckendorf: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection podcast. I’m Jessica Beckendorf. Today’s a special episode as we bid farewell to my co-host\, Bob Bertsch\, who’s transitioning into his new role as the national project leader for OneOp. It’s not really goodbye so much as a\, “See you later.” This isn’t the last time your voice will be on this podcast. \nI’m super excited about that. I’m really excited about and happy for you in this new role as well. We’re going to focus today on the journey of this podcast and Bob’s experiences within that. Basically\, this is like our interview. We’re doing an interview of Bob this time instead of Bob doing the interviewing. He’s also going to share a practice with us. Hi\, Bob. How are you? \nBob Bertsch: I’m good\, Jessica. I didn’t know if I was prepared for thinking about that\, like the end of the podcast. This really is\, like I said\, maybe not the last time that my voice will be here. My last significant contribution for a while anyway\, so I’m okay until you made me sad. No\, I’m kidding. No\, I’m good. I’m good. Thank you. \nJessica: [laughs] We did try to talk you into\, I think\, a January or February episode. We had an idea on that. You set a pretty good boundary\, which we do talk about on this podcast. \nBob: That’s right. Check out episode number– No\, just search oneop.org for boundaries. I’m sure you’ll find at least a couple of practicasts. \nJessica: Yes\, exactly. Well\, this has really been an incredible journey. We’ve been working together for a long time. I think you’re way better at this than I am\, but I’m pretty sure it’s been nine years\, about. \nBob: Yes. \nJessica: It’s actually about to be 10 because I think I started my journey with OneOp in 2015. Yes\, it’s about to be 10 years. We’ve been doing this podcast for five of those nine years. We started with just a few episodes a year and then we grew it into many more episodes. This has been really an incredible journey. We’ve done tons of iterating. As we reflect on your time here\, I want to dive into some of the highlights and I guess lessons learned. Can you share a few highlights from the last several years in your role and on the podcast? As you look back at your time on this role on our team and co-hosting the Practicing Connection podcast\, what are some of the most memorable moments or episodes that stood out to you and why? \nBob: The first thing that came to mind\, Jessica\, and thank you for this question\, is our first attempts at podcasting. This is before we even had a thing called Practicing Connection podcast or even the Practicing Connection in a Complex World podcast\, which was the original name of the podcast. This was like– \nJessica: They can’t see me\, but I’m laughing right now because I know what you’re about to say. Go ahead. Sorry. \nBob: Our first attempts\, they were just very organic and exploratory and improvisational. We turned on the microphone and saw what happened. It was great. I think that helped us learn about what we were together as a team in those initial attempts. We knew each other. We had done some work together\, but what does it really mean for the two of us to combine? \nIt makes me think of one of our early episodes of what was then called the Practicing Connection in a Complex World podcast\, the actual podcast\, not these burgeoning attempts I’m talking about\, but an actual episode we did on transformational relationships. We talked about the idea that people can connect with each other in a way that causes something new to come\, not just one idea or thing\, but this third entity. \nThat is the relationship\, right? It’s like the space between the two people that emerges. It’s not just a combination of each person’s qualities or ideas or personalities. It’s more than that. I think when that happens and\, obviously\, I think that happened for us\, and I think when that happens\, the relationship transforms each person definitely\, for sure. It also creates the possibility and the potential for that relationship to transform other people and things that are just outside of the relationship. \nI think that happened with us\, not just because we created the podcast and shared it with others. Obviously\, that was an intentional act of doing that. I think it just happened and can happen for people because you’re both willing to be transformed by the experience and the things that emerge through the relationship. That’s definitely one thing that I think of a lot when I’m talking about moments that I remember. \nJessica: Yes\, thank you for reminding me of that. I really enjoyed that as well. We’ve talked about this before\, but we’ve both read the book Emergent Strategy. One of the themes in that book is change happening in fractals. I have said before and I don’t know if this came from that book or not or if it came from somewhere else\, but I feel like what you just described is the evidence of change happening one conversation at a time\, right? \nBob: That’s brilliant\, yes. That is a much better way of putting it than I was putting it. No\, that’s what it felt like\, right? That’s what those first attempts were. Change was happening\, like you said\, in those conversations. It’s continued as we’ve refined it. It’s continued to create change\, I think\, not just for the two of us\, but hopefully for anyone who’s listening to the podcast now. \nJessica: I’m smiling really big again because I remember some of our first before we started the podcast itself. When we were doing those other one-off projects\, there were so many ums and ahs. I know that this is such a small thing. We were both so conscious of all of that that sometimes our trying to speak was really stilted anyway. That’s just a skill versus a big growth and change comment. That was really funny and then us trying to talk about trying not to do as many ums and ahs. \nBob: Which made us more self-conscious. \nJessica: Yes\, that was funny. \n[laughter]\nBob: The other thing that comes to mind when you pose this question is just that there was a moment where we were able to find the connection between the work that we wanted to do together and military family readiness. What OneOp is about is about supporting military family readiness through the support of military family service providers. I don’t want to go into too much history\, but I’ll just say that the history of the team that we were on was a rollercoaster ride. We were doing one thing and then we were doing another thing. \nThen there was this moment where you and I started working together and we were trying to find our way. We were in Fargo\, North Dakota. That’s where I am right now\, folks\, with our colleagues\, Steve Judd and Bridget Scott. We’re drawing on big sheets of paper and ideating and trying to find our way. Bridget started talking about the Military Family Readiness System. It’s a DOD-defined system that is defined in policy. There was just a spark\, right? \nOur interests in networks and community and collaboration and leadership all started to mesh with this idea of the Military Family Readiness System that is described in policy as a complex\, adaptive system\, which combines all of these resources and people and opportunities to support military families\, whether that system of resources isn’t just in DOD or just in the branch services or just on installations. Envisioning it that way really helped us figure out how we were going to help service providers thrive as part of that system. It was like one of those moments of clarity where you’re just like\, you feel lost in the woods. [chuckles] Suddenly\, there’s an opening and the sun is shining through. That’s another one that sticks in my head. \nJessica: Oh\, I remember that meeting really well. I’ll never forget that. It’s like it all suddenly made sense\, right? We knew we had a place and we were really struggling to get our feet under us with it. Then suddenly\, we were like\, “Oh this. Yes\, this is exactly it.” To me\, the funny thing was that I think that that’s the direction that we had been talking around for a long time. It’s just that this clarity that happened during that meeting really brought it together. Now\, I have to ask and I know you don’t like to play favorites\, [chuckles] neither do I because I really do love every interview we do. I love every episode we do\, but I’m going to still ask you. Is there an episode\, achievement\, or moment that you feel particularly proud of and why? \nBob: Yes\, [chuckles] similar feelings. Yes\, I love them all. That’s probably not true. I think there’s some that were a little bit challenging. As I thought about this\, ones that came to mind right away were our interview view with Heather Plett about holding space\, and then a two-part episode that we did with Bjørn Peterson around creativity and change. The reason those\, I think\, came to mind is because we like to push at the edges a little bit around here on Practicing Connection. \nWe like to push the envelope a little bit\, maybe challenge ourselves definitely\, and maybe challenge the thinking of folks who are listening to see how does this fit\, right? We have this frame of military family readiness and the Military Family Readiness System and our work as service providers or extension educators or however you’re contributing to that system. It might not always make sense\, how holding space matters or how we might be able to use art or poetry or songs in our work. Those were two episodes that stuck out. Of course\, Bjørn especially because you and I had an opportunity to sit down\, have dinner with him in person\, which is a rare occurrence for us in terms of podcast guests. \nJessica: Lovely. \nBob: We happened to be in Saint Paul\, Minnesota. Bjørn was able to join us there. That was really great. He’s still a good friend\, I think\, to both of us. Any of those episodes that showed the MFRS\, the Military Family Readiness System\, in action. Food Security Hawaii Working Group\, which Arletta and Kina and Lorna. Arletta works on Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam. Lorna works for the Hawaii National Guard and Kina works for Hawaii Foodbank\, I think it is called. \nThey joined us together and they were part of this Food Security Hawaii Working Group. We got to hear about the unique challenges that they have in terms of food security on the island. We also got to hear how they’re collaborating\, how they’re working together across these silos\, boundaries\, whatever you want to call them\, to address the problem through collective action. \nI think that’s what we’ve always been about. There’s lots of other episodes that come to mind on that one\, but that one was really affecting. I think we came away being able to feel how much those three people cared about that issue and about the people that they were serving. That comes through on all the interviews\, but it was visceral to me after getting done talking with them. That one really sticks out. \nJessica: I’m really enjoying being reminded of all these. I think I’m going to go back and listen to some of them. Let’s put the focus a little bit on your own growth. How has your experience with the podcast and your role so far at OneOp influenced your personal and professional growth? Are there any particular lessons or insights that you’ve gained? \nBob: It’s definitely changed my career remarkably. Just recently had a chance to have some conversations with some of our colleagues and especially Dr. Kyle Kostelecky\, who’s the PI and project director for OneOp. We are both talking about like\, “Oh\, my gosh. If this person hadn’t talked to this person or if this person hadn’t ever told me about this or if I had never met so-and-so\, how do we get from–” For Kyle\, it’s been a little bit longer\, but for me\, it’s been about 15 years now. How did I get from 15 years ago to here? \nA lot of it has been the opportunity that OneOp has presented\, I think\, to everybody who has worked on the project and also that what is now called the Extension Foundation. In the olden days when I got involved\, it was called the E-Extension. Both of those organizations really helped me and I think others build a national network. For me\, it was important because it went beyond the confines of my specific role at my university. \nMy job for most of the time I’ve been with OneOp at NDSU was web technology specialist. My interest went beyond that into adult education and community development and network science and in places that I wasn’t able to necessarily– even though I tried [chuckles] in my role and probably pushed the edges of my role at NDSU as well\, but I wasn’t able to fully embrace those things. OneOp was the way for me to pursue those interests and do the kind of work that I wanted to do. \nThe podcast has been the place where we have those conversations about those things\, right? Those things that I think you and I both care about. I hope everybody who listens cares about at least some of those things. Then we could find the intersections between those different ideas and explore what those ideas would mean in the context of military family readiness for service providers and adult educators and really forge a path towards applying it to family readiness and well-being. \nThat’s been transformational for me from a personal and professional growth standpoint. I don’t know if I have a particular insight or lesson. They’re innumerable. Just the opportunities to sit in rooms with such talented people\, knowledgeable people who come. What our listeners might not know about the unique thing about our project is that the project involves so many people from all over the country. \nFrom right now\, I think we’re at nine different colleges or universities around the country\, all from different disciplines\, all around family and human development\, but from different aspects of that\, all to sit in the same room and share ideas with each other\, talk to each other\, collaborate with each other and create programming that we hope supports military family service providers in their work as part of the Military Family Readiness System. That’s been awesome. All the times we’ve been in rooms and just had an idea come out that’s totally transformed how we think about things. I’m remembering Steve Judd handing me a book one time. I can’t remember the name of it. You probably have it on your shelf. \nJessica: Connecting to Change the World. Yes\, I’m looking back on my shelf right now. \nBob: Right. Steve’s like\, “You should read Connecting to Change the World.” From reading that\, we’re like\, “Okay\, our team’s going to do something completely different now.” [chuckles] We met with the national project leader at the time. We’re just like\, “Hey\, we’re going to do something completely different because we read this book.” It’s just an example of how that shared brainpower. The connection and collaboration can just\, like I said\, make change. I think that’s what we’ve always been talking about is like\, how do we connect with each other so that we can make positive change in the world? That has just happened so many times this project. I can’t count them. \nJessica: If I could add one thing even though this question was directed at you and I’m curious if you feel the same way. For me\, the podcast also offered an opportunity to practice some of the things\, the new thinking\, and the new things that I’ve been learning. Right down to the way we were planning each episode at the beginning where we use the chaordic stepping stones\, which was a facilitation planning technique that we learned in a class. It was this beautiful incubator to allow some different ways of thinking and working to take hold. I don’t know if you’ve had a similar feeling. \nBob: No\, I’m so glad you brought that up. Yes\, it hasn’t just been all public-facing programming where those moments have happened. It’s also just learning how we do the work together\, which for us\, like you said– I’m just repeating what you said\, but the incubator aspect of it\, it’s one of the great things about working in the space that you and I have worked in through these many years is we get to do relationship while we’re talking about relationship. We get to do collaboration while we’re talking about collaboration\, right? \nJessica: No meta. \nBob: Yes\, right. It’s very meta. \n[laughter]\nBob: It’s really been awesome. Yes\, I agree with that. \nJessica: Well\, now\, as you’re transitioning into your new role as the national project leader for OneOp\, what are some of your hopes and visions for the future of Practicing Connection podcast and the OneOp community? \nBob: I definitely have some. My first thought was like\, “That’s not my problem now. That’s on you and Coral Owen\, co-producer\, to figure that out.” I’m super excited to see where you guys take things. I thought about\, it’s just a fact. In fact\, Brigitte Scott\, our former national project leader\, said this to Jessica and I before. She’s like\, “The work you’re doing is really important to OneOp.” We’re like\, “Eh.” I like self-deprecating Midwesterns. \nJessica: “It’s not really important.” [laughs]\nBob: Yes\, right. Now that I have a different perspective on it\, I’m like\, “Oh yes\, it is.” The podcast and the Practicing Connection community are really critical to OneOp\, working towards our vision to facilitate the connections and shared knowledge required of providers to advance the Military Family Readiness System. I hope that we can see that work continue as Practicing Connection\, to continue to grow as a space for connection and sharing. \nOne of our recent episodes\, as we were talking to Amy Rodick\, who’s the director for the Office of Military Family Readiness and Policy at Department of Defense. We talked about how the podcast and OneOp’s PowerUp magazine have been telling the stories of the MFRS in action. Ms. Rodick called on service providers to start sharing their stories as well and then was like\, “How should they do that?” I’m like\, “Well\, they should email you guys\, right?” [chuckles] that kind of thing. \nI was like\, “Yes\, that makes sense.” I think that is a great opportunity and I’d love to see that happening\, not just on the podcast but on the Practicing Connection community on LinkedIn\, continue to be a place and grow as a place for those stories of successes and failures to be told and a place for people to ask questions of their colleagues and share their experiences and their frustrations and their hope for the future and to just connect and be a part of that. \nI think the podcast is a formal way of doing that\, of telling those stories. The community on LinkedIn\, I really hope that becomes a place where folks can talk directly to their colleagues\, service providers\, extension educators\, and other folks who are supporting our military families across the nation and around the world. Shout out\, Germany. \nJessica: [chuckles] Yes. \nBob: Jessica keeps track of the geography\, where listeners are coming from. \nJessica: Looks like we’ve got some regulars from Germany. \nBob: Right\, we can’t shout out everybody. Sorry. Apologies across the nation\, but Germany\, I know you’re listening. \nJessica: [chuckles] There are literally lots of cities. We’ve had downloads from six out of seven continents. We’re looking at you next\, Antarctica. [laughs]\nBob: Right\, yes\, and that’s important work\, right? Different contexts to be outside the continental United States. As we say\, OCONUS\, use some jargon for you. That’s a whole different thing in terms of supporting our military families outside of the United States. Thanks for the work that you guys are doing there. I’m happy for the chance to shout out Germany and everywhere else that folks are doing work to support our military families. \nJessica: Well\, I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate the collaboration we’ve had\, the leadership you’ve provided on the podcast and all of our programming here\, and also just our friendship. This is an amazing experience for me. I’m excited to take the next leg\, but I’m really excited to see your work change as well. Let’s maybe end here with\, again\, not a final practice that we’re asking for from you because you’ll be back on here as a guest. Could you share a practice or strategy that’s currently supporting your personal and professional development and share a little bit about how this practice has helped you navigate your role and responsibilities? \nBob: All right. I warned Jessica before we started recording. I’m going to talk about meditation again. Some of you have probably heard me talk about it many times before\, but it is my practice. Literally\, it is my practice. It’s supportive in so many ways. Primarily\, it helps me be mindful\, which makes sense. That’s what meditation is about\, but it’s so important to be able to direct my attention and to notice things. My new role is a role where there’s lots of moving parts. \nLike I said\, there’s nine different partner universities\, lots of programming happening. Check out our webinars on oneop.org. Podcasts\, there’s blogs\, there’s lots of stuff happening. Honing the ability to notice is really important. Notice when I’m talking too much\, which might be happening right now. Notice when the room changes\, even the virtual room. Jessica and I both have done a lot of facilitation. There’s that feeling in the physical room. You’re like\, “They’re not getting it or they’re not picking up what we’re putting down or that kind of thing. \nJessica: Or they’re hating what we’re putting down. [laughs]\nBob: They’re hating what we’re putting down\, right? Noticing that is really an important part of facilitation. My meditation practice helps me with that. Noticing facial expressions and tones of voice and noticing what I’m feeling like when my emotions are popping up and how my body is feeling and how that might be affecting whatever’s happening in that moment\, whatever conversation is happening in that moment. That’s just one part of it. We’ve talked about equanimity on a practicast before. That’s another thing that meditation practice brings to me like an even-mindedness. My colleagues might not think I’m very even-minded\, but you should see me when I’m not meditating\, folks\, right? \n[laughter]\nBob: Just that ability to disrupt the automatic reactions that we have and being able to do that when I need to and not get caught up in what I’m feeling but lean into the experience that I’m having and that helps. That helps. I think in a leadership role\, it helps you to not cut off conversations and to allow the conditions for change to emerge and let things happen. It’s the hardest thing. \nI think over the years\, I’ve counseled leaders and sometimes preached at leaders. It’s like\, you can’t steer the ship all the time\, but it is our instinct to want to. Being aware of that instinct and being balanced about a practicing equanimity has been really important. Another thing that we practice in meditation practice is acceptance of what’s happening even if it’s unpleasant or pleasant to accept that. \nThat’s really helped me with my patients. As Jessica knows\, change doesn’t happen fast enough for me a lot of times. That acceptance to what’s happening has really been important. I meditate daily and\, yes\, I think it’s changed who I am and informs everything that I do. Meditating is important. Finding quiet time\, that can be very helpful. I would suggest\, seeking out teachers and seeing if you can find guided meditations that can help you cultivate some of the skills\, the different skills. \nJust being quiet and listening can cultivate a lot of those skills\, especially mindfulness. If you really want to get into some of the other ones\, guided meditation is the practice that I do. I encourage you to give it a try. If you ever have questions about it or want to reach out\, join the Practicing Connection community on LinkedIn and post a question about it. Someone will get it to me if I don’t see it. I’d be happy to have a conversation about it. \nJessica: Well\, that sounds like it’s been a beautifully transformational practice for you. Thank you so much for sharing. Yes\, go ahead. \nBob: I have you to thank for that. I have Jessica to thank for that. Pandemic days\, she recommended an app to me that got me started meditating and\, yes\, it’s been a great journey. \n[music]\nJessica: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the Share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. Thanks also to our incredible team\, co-producer Coral Owen\, announcer Kalin Goble\, Joyce Vaughn and Maggie Lucas from OneOp’s marketing team\, and Nathan Grimm who composed and performed all the music you hear on the podcast. We hope you’ll join us next time. In the meantime\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333. \n[00:28:03] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/connection-reflection-evolution-bob-bertsch/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/ai-generated-8980910_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241205
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241206
DTSTAMP:20260502T155357
CREATED:20241205T121513Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260115T172652Z
UID:10001535-1733356800-1733443199@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Reflections on Connection\, Collaboration\, and Finding Inspiration
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The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjIyMzQzNCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYyMjM0MzQtcmVmbGVjdGlvbnMtb24tY29ubmVjdGlvbi1jb2xsYWJvcmF0aW9uLWFuZC1maW5kaW5nLWluc3BpcmF0aW9uLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTYyMjM0MzQlMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]This is our annual Reflections episode\, where we invite some of our podcast collaborators from the past year to share their reflections with us. At the heart of meaningful connection\, communication\, and collaboration is the ongoing journey of self-awareness\, learning\, and growth. Regular reflection helps us stay grounded\, inspired\, and ready for the challenges ahead. \nIn this episode\, co-hosts Jessica Beckendorf and Bob Bertsch reflect on the year that’s passed\, highlighting the importance of finding inspiration in the midst of everyday moments and in collective efforts to support others. We also hear from two special guests who share their reflections on resilience\, collaboration\, and the power of community: \n\nNicola Winkel\, Project Director\, Arizona Coalition for Military Families\nKristen Jowers\, Program Coordinator\, OneOp (University of Kentucky)\n\nTune in as they share how they’ve found inspiration through difficult work\, the beauty of small moments\, and the strength of community connection during challenging times.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”]Speaker 1: Welcome to Practicing Connection\, a podcast exploring the personal stories and collective practices that empower us to work together to improve our resilience and readiness in a rapidly changing world. Here to start the conversation are Jessica Beckendorf and Bob Bertsch. \nJessica Beckendorf: Welcome to our Annual Reflections episode. Each year we invite some of our podcast collaborators in the past year to share a reflection with us. One of the things we talk about a lot on this podcast is how connection and communication and collaboration with others requires knowing yourself\, learning\, and growing. Regular reflection practice can help with that. \nBob Bertsch: This year the Practicing Connection podcast experienced some milestones and new ways of working and collaborating. We maintained a schedule of weekly episodes with the addition of the Practicasts. We’ve grown the new Practicing Connection community on LinkedIn. With so much going on\, we’ve been inspired by our collaborations with our guests\, so we invited our collaborators to share their reflections on what’s been inspiring them this year. We’ll hear from a couple of our guests as they share their reflections on what’s inspiring them\, and Jessica and I will share our reflections as well. \nJessica: Our first reflection is from Nicola Winkel. Nicola joined us earlier this season on an ecosystem of military family support to talk about collective impact and collaboration. Nicola is the project director at the Arizona Coalition for Military Families\, a nationally recognized public-private partnership focused on building Arizona’s capacity to care for and support all service members\, veterans\, their families\, and communities. That’s a lot. \nShe has worked for more than 20 years in the nonprofit community\, specializing in program development and implementation\, bringing a mix of planning\, project management\, communication\, team coordination\, and problem-solving skills that drive execution of complex projects and build sustainability. Nicola was awarded the Adjutant General Medal by Major General Hugo Salazar for her efforts in implementing the coalition and strengthening support for Arizona’s military veteran and family population. She holds a master’s degree in public administration from the University of Illinois and a systems thinking certificate from Cornell University. \nNicola Winkel: Hello\, Practicing Connection listeners. This is Nicola Winkel\, project director for the Arizona Coalition for Military Families. As we close out 2024\, which I know has been a challenging year for many\, I’m glad to have the opportunity to reflect on the inspiration in my life and work. For many of us\, the work we do is so complex\, long-term\, and in many cases has an element of loss and tragedy that can be heartbreaking. Here in Arizona\, our partners are working to decrease the disparity in veteran suicide. It’s a problem with no simple solutions and the need to continually find the inspiration to keep moving forward. \nEarlier this year\, the secretary of the VA shared what one advocate told him\, that even if the numbers suck\, you have to keep going. I appreciated the sentiment and the bluntness because with these complex problems\, sometimes you can feel like such a small force against such a huge challenge. The biggest source of my inspiration this year has been the dedication of our team and our partners. I have seen time and time again how people coming to the table with the right attitude\, skills\, knowledge\, and collaborative spirit can make all the difference in how we are collectively inspired to move forward. As the backbone team for our collective impact initiative in Arizona\, I see our job as setting the table for the partners to come together\, but the inspiration and the clarity about how to move forward comes from us working together. \nConversely\, we have all seen how one or more people or organizations can make those efforts go sideways. Those situations are challenging because you can clearly see how this detracts from the work and the mission. This just inspires me to do everything I can to create the best table for us to gather around and to build the relationships needed to fulfill our common mission. I am thankful and inspired by our team and partners who bring their commitment and belief that together we can make a positive difference in the community to our collective table. That keeps me going on the challenging days. As we head into 2025\, I wish you inspiration in your work and your life. \nBob: Thanks to Nicola for that great reflection. I so enjoyed talking to Nicola when we had a chance to interview her earlier this year. I’m not surprised she talked about collaboration. They really are about collaboration with the coalition. I love that she talked about that and about creating a place for people to gather and work together. Because I think that leaning on each other\, that is a big part of finding the strength to keep going\, especially when you’re doing the difficult work that Nicola and her colleagues are doing. \nJessica: Yes. That resonated with me as well. One of the things within her reflection is a concept that we’ve talked about before. The dedication she talked about is similar to the idea of committing to working together\, even when we sometimes don’t want to be working together. We’re all humans. Those moments arise and those challenges will arise. \nBob: Jess\, would you mind sharing your reflection with us? \nJessica: Absolutely. Actually\, this reflection was really a tough one for me this year. I think you and I have chatted several times about how I’ve been feeling generally uninspired. That’s hard because I’m normally someone who’s– I can find inspiration in so many things. As I prepared this reflection\, I realized that I just this year wasn’t in that place. I wasn’t maybe as open to the things that usually inspire me\, like things I read\, workshops\, conferences\, classes that I’m taking. \nWhat has gotten my attention this year are the little moments. In some of our Practicast episodes\, I’ve talked about things like picking rocks in my landscaping beds\, playing with my dog. He’s such a joyful little guy and I just run around the house with him and chasing him\, pretending to try to get the toy\, unplugging even\, and especially small conversations I’ve had and reconnections. This year was really a year of reconnecting with several people that I haven’t talked to in a while. \nA really great example of this idea of those small moments was when I went away for a weekend visiting friends. We stayed at my friend’s parents’ house\, which sounds like I’m 16. I’m pretty sure that they live in this magical land\, this little plot of land that they own\, is completely magical because they created the magic there. There were these gigantic mathematical shapes\, huge dodecahedrons and other mathematical shapes that I don’t remember because I’m not huge into math\, all over their property. Her dad built them. I just found so much joy in seeing these shapes and in talking to him about how he made them and why he made them. Turns out he was a math professor\, but that’s a whole other– His story is very interesting. That’s very different. \nThis weekend in general though\, it started with this magical place we were staying\, and there are all these cool things happening at the property. Just in general\, we didn’t take ourselves seriously. We took a nap in a park\, which is really interesting because we went to Devil’s Lake State Park in Wisconsin\, which is in the Midwest\, I think is fairly well known. It’s this gorgeous place that has tons of beautiful hiking opportunities and we all like to hike\, but instead we took a nap. We didn’t hike even a little bit. \nThose little moments were really important to me throughout the year. This one weekend\, I think did a good job of encapsulating some of that. One of those moments of this weekend was that we silently walked a labyrinth lined with lavender. I had an opportunity to share my limited knowledge of the history of labyrinths as tools of reflection that go back more than 3000 years. I did have to look that up while we were still standing at the entrance because I couldn’t remember. I was so excited about the labyrinth and I told them like\, “No\, no. This is a thing. It’s a real thing you guys\,” but I had to look it up. \nI shared it with them. It was a really beautiful thing to just– My experience of the labyrinth was one thing\, but then also seeing my two friends experience the labyrinth and take it very seriously and have them go through it was just this beautiful little moment. When I think back on this year\, I am reminded of Heather Plett’s Spiral of Authenticity. We’ve had Heather Plett on this podcast before. We’ve talked about her work\, but the Spiral of Authenticity starts with an inward journey\, which goes through several stages from awakening to healing and opening. At the center is an open heart. Then the outward journey\, from the center\, out is one of emerging\, connecting\, and offering among other stages. Those are just a beginning\, middle\, and end stage of the outward journey. Heather Plett often connects the Spiral of Authenticity to a labyrinth. I feel like I’m in or near the center of the labyrinth right now\, just in general\, and near the center is opening\, or if you’re at the center\, that’s the open heart where you’re pausing for a while. I feel like I’m just there this year\, right now. \nThings are quiet here. It makes me a tiny bit anxious to not feel big moments of inspiration because I always feel like I can see it everywhere. That’s been really challenging this year\, but I’ve accepted these little moments as my inspiration\, and I’ll hang out in the middle of the labyrinth for a bit until I’m ready to emerge. I feel like I’m getting close to that\, but it was really eye-opening to do this reflection and to realize this connection to the labyrinth\, and that I literally walked a labyrinth this year. It was pretty cool. \nBob: That’s awesome. Beautiful\, really. Thank you so much for sharing it. It’s like one of those moments for me. It all makes sense now. Earlier in the year when we were talking about the rocks and the rabbits and all the things\, all the beautiful little things you were paying so much attention to. It’s like it all came together. It’s your open heart. What more open thing can you do than take a nap in a public state park? That’s a great demonstration of how open you’ve been this year. I’m glad that you’ve been able to do some sense-making around that\, and it’s all come together in this beautiful moment in this Reflections episode. \nJessica: Oh\, thank you so much. I don’t know if you recall how stressed I was that there were these stupid little things\, and I’m not being inspired by these big aha moments from reading and intellectual things. I was really stressed about how picking rocks was and watching the rabbits in my yard. It’s funny that it was stressful. Now I don’t just see it\, I feel that I am in the middle of that labyrinth right now. Thank you. \nBob: Thanks again for sharing that. Our next reflection is from Kristen Jowers. Kristen joined us earlier this year to collaborate on three episodes\, where we focused on practices related to holding space\, Holding Space for Difference\, Holding Space for Grief\, and Holding Space for New Possibilities. These episodes were such a joy to produce with Kristen\, who joined the OneOp team in 2023 as a program coordinator and uses her background in psychology\, child development\, and marriage and family therapy to enhance her work at the University of Kentucky. Here’s Kristen’s Reflection. \nKristen Jowers: Hello\, Practicing Connection listeners. I look forward to the Reflection episode of Practicing Connection every year. I’m excited to share about what’s been inspiring me. It’s been a really hard year. I feel like I’ve been saying that for a couple years\, but it really has been a challenging couple of months. I appreciated being asked what’s been inspiring because then I could do some reflecting. I went to book club\, and it was almost like I was primed for being inspired. I joined the book club a couple of years ago when I started working remotely. \nI think I was just looking for some in-person engagement. It’s why I love conferencing so much. It’s nice to my neighbors and meet other folks who live in my community. Our book club hasn’t met for a couple of months because of the severe weather and hurricanes that have impacted our area over the past few months. I live in Valdosta\, Georgia. That’s about 15 miles north of the Florida-Georgia line. It’s also where Moody Air Force Base is. Our area was impacted by several hurricanes in the past year. My book club has turned into a little bit of a hurricane support group. \nWhen we met most recently\, normally we have one book to talk about. At this most recent book club\, there were a lot of books to talk about because\, I guess folks have been doing a lot of reading. That’s something I didn’t expect. I thought\, “Maybe we’ll go and talk and nobody will have read anything\, or maybe they read a book from three months ago.” I was surprised a lot of folks were sharing that they read a lot. It’s interesting to see how people fill the space and the time when they don’t have power and school’s out\, and they don’t have internet. Some folks were saying\, “My kid picked up a book for the first time in a while\,” or\, “I read a book for fun\,” or\, “My spouse started reading again.” \nFolks were just sharing about how they shared a book that they’ve just finished with a neighbor\, or they found themselves talking more about books with people that they hadn’t talked to about reading before. Book club’s been a really safe space for me\, just to practice connecting\, if you will. We’re a lot of stories shared at book club that were really inspiring stories of neighbors who were helping each other clear roads and clear driveways and neighbors who did have power or the equipment to cook. We had a lot of folks breaking bread together that maybe otherwise wouldn’t have\, a lot of outreach and organizations that have come from outside of our area into the area to provide resources and support. \nIt’s just been really inspiring for hearing how folks that had so many impacts from trees being down\, having religious organization from Alabama shows up and just completely cleans up their yard for them. There’s just been a lot of stories of glimmers or sparkly moments during this really\, really difficult season. I found myself just appreciating having people who get it. We talked about normal and what even is normal anymore. I think during COVID there was conversation around getting back to normal. Then now we’re redefining a new normal as a community post-COVID\, post-Hurricane Idalia\, post-Hurricane Debby\, post-Hurricane Helene\, and Milton. It’s been an interesting time schools have been closed. \nSchool counselor who shared that on their first day back to school after more than three and a half weeks of school being closed\, on their first day back they asked if any students would be interested in a hurricane support group. It’s a really small school\, but more than 100 students actually signed up and said that they would be interested. I think that this shows that these type of events impact us all and in different ways. One of the poignant conversations that stuck with me\, folks talking about resilience and strength. \nI know that this was the conversation on a previous episode\, a conversation surrounding what it means to be resilient right now as a community\, as a school. It’s just always important to remember that a lot of folks are grieving right now and processing\, and that it’s going to take time. I so appreciate the opportunity to reflect about what’s been inspiring me\, what’s been motivating and impacting\, not just my work life and professional life\, but also personally. Thank you for holding space for me today. \nJessica: Thanks so much to Kristen for her reflection. I can’t imagine going through one hurricane\, and that area has experienced several in this year alone. One of the things that really resonated with me and Kristen’s reflection is that you have a constant zooming in and zooming out. You’ve got this huge thing\, these hurricanes that are happening\, and yet you’re zooming into reading for pleasure when the power is out. You’re zooming out to the bigger impacts of sharing about books that people have read and the stories they’re sharing of kids picking up books for the first time in a while. Then you’re zooming into a person’s home being affected by a fallen tree. You’re zooming out to people coming together to help and to 100 students signing up for some support. I thought it was just really beautiful. I really\, really appreciate Kristen sharing her experience of that. Bob\, would you share your reflection with us? \nBob: Yes\, I’d be happy to. Thanks for the invitation\, Jess. In October of this year\, 190 wildfires swept through Northwestern North Dakota. Sorry to be on the natural disaster thing again after we heard Kristen’s reflection. \nJessica: Sorry\, Bob. This is your reflection. I didn’t even hear about that\, probably because there was so much attention about the hurricanes. Anyway\, I’m sorry. Please go on. \nBob: The number and range of the fires were definitely unusual for us. They were fueled by dry conditions\, high winds\, and grasses that had actually grown really long and thick during a rainy early summer. It was those conditions all coming together. The impacts of the fires were really devastating. More than 125\,000 acres were burned. Homes\, outbuildings\, entire farm businesses were destroyed. Hundreds of head of livestock were killed\, and many of those herds are still suffering health issues related to the fire\, and livestock deaths are still happening as a consequence of the fires. \nWhile these fires were still burning\, I joined a Zoom call and listened to some of our NDSU Extension agents and specialists here at North Dakota State University\, talk about how they were helping people document their losses\, treat injured animals\, and probably most importantly\, deal with the trauma they had experienced. As I was listening\, as we heard in Kristen’s reflection\, similar situations at that very time were playing out in North Carolina and Florida and other states in the Southeast as Extension professionals and other service providers helped people impacted by Hurricane Helene. Then later after this Zoom call\, the other hurricanes that came up through the early fall there. \nI often think about the wider reaching work aimed at preventing disasters or mitigating the impact of disasters when they happen\, or supporting people\, families\, and communities to become more resilient\, that zoomed out work. Jess\, we were talking about zooming out and zooming in. That’s really important work\, but it’s so much different than standing in front of someone who has lost so much and trying to help them answer the question\, what’s next? The service providers who stand with those families in the face of such profound loss are my inspiration this year. \nJust the other day\, a colleague talked to me about how difficult it was to see the impact the wildfires had on people. Honestly\, my colleague is still feeling that. I could see it in her face and hear it in her voice. It’s inspiring to know our Extension professionals and our military family service providers are willing to stand with families experiencing tragedy\, even though they know how secondary trauma can affect them as the professional provider. It makes me grateful for doing the work that I get to do\, work that supports those that support families in need. It motivates and inspires me to keep going and doing that work. \nJessica: Wow. I should not have interrupted you earlier to say that I haven’t heard about this happening\, but thank you so much for sharing that. That is really inspiring. The service providers that are in the middle of it\, in the thick of it\, and some of them may also be affected\, or they may have family members who are affected\, and that they can continue on and help others continue on is amazing. It is inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing that. \nBob: We’d love to hear what’s inspiring you. Please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the Send Us a Text Message link at the top of the description of this episode. When you click that link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words\, Do Not Remove. Type your message after that and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number and we can’t text you back\, but we’d be happy to share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us what’s inspiring you at practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n[music]\nJessica: That’s it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the Share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. Thanks again to our collaborators on this episode\, Kristen Jowers and Nicola Winkel. Finally\, thanks to our incredible team\, co-producer Cora Owen\, announcer Kaelin Goebel\, Joyce Fallon and Maggie Lucas from OneOp’s marketing team\, and Nathan Grimm who composed and performed all the music you hear on the podcast. The season is not over yet. We have a special episode coming your way next week. We hope you’ll join us then. In the meantime\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp\, and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense\, under award numbers 2019-48770-30366 and 2023-48770-41333. \n[00:25:46] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/connection-collaboration-inspiration/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/droplets-3263600_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241128
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241129
DTSTAMP:20260502T155358
CREATED:20241128T121505Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20250211T165020Z
UID:10001527-1732752000-1732838399@oneop.org
SUMMARY:Inviting Innovation Through Creative Destruction
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjE4NjQyOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYxODY0MjgtaW52aXRpbmctaW5ub3ZhdGlvbi10aHJvdWdoLWNyZWF0aXZlLWRlc3RydWN0aW9uLmpzJTNGY29udGFpbmVyX2lkJTNEYnV6enNwcm91dC1wbGF5ZXItMTYxODY0MjglMjZwbGF5ZXIlM0RzbWFsbCUyMiUyMHR5cGUlM0QlMjJ0ZXh0JTJGamF2YXNjcmlwdCUyMiUyMGNoYXJzZXQlM0QlMjJ1dGYtOCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]Explore how inviting creative destruction can pave the way for innovation. In this practicast\, Jessica shares a fun and insightful practice inspired by the Liberating Structures TRIZ activity\, guiding listeners to identify and eliminate counterproductive behaviors to make space for new ideas and better outcomes.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nBob: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Bob. My co-host Jessica is here as well. Today we’ll be talking about one of the principles of Liberating Structures\, invite creative destruction to encourage innovation. Jessica will be sharing a practice with us based on that idea\, that principle. Hey\, Jessica\, how are you doing? \nJessica: I’m doing pretty great today. It’s been a while since I’ve had a day almost completely free from meetings. Today is that day\, and I’ve been able to catch up on reading and being a content consumer versus just someone who– well\, not just someone who creates content\, but that’s a good thing\, too. I enjoy that very much. What’s really been the culprit lately is being a meeting participant. They’re all important meetings\, and I enjoy many of them\, but today has been just wonderful. I’m doing great. Thanks for asking. \nActually\, one of those things I read was I recently discovered Cassandra Worthy’s Change Enthusiast Mindset. I wanted to share a passage from her website that inspired me from a piece called Anthem of a Change Enthusiast\, and I’ve chosen a section from the middle of the piece that was particularly energizing for me. I’ve had change champion in my LinkedIn description for a long time\, and I feel like this really describes what I mean by that. It starts with\, “But we are change enthusiasts. We embrace the frustration\, aggravation\, isolation\, and stress as signals. Signals that we are sitting in a moment of opportunity. \nIn this embrace\, we are able to step back and view them objectively. In doing so\, we first allow these feelings to exist\, then inspire. To inspire us to the choice that will bring about a better feeling\, to inspire us to the choice that will begin to slowly shift our reality from overwhelmed to anxious\, from anxious to confused\, from confused to clear\, from clear to creative\, from creative to excited\, from excited to bliss. We are change enthusiasts. We use the feels of change to make conscious choice toward better feeling. We don’t ignore the feels\, pretending they don’t exist in a blinding haze of optimism. We recognize the feels of change as guideposts leading us through the opportunity to choose our best\, for we are change enthusiasts.” \nBob: That is really great. I love that. Thank you for sharing it. \nJessica: You’re welcome. I really have been enjoying reading all of Cassandra Worthy’s stuff. \nBob: I have an author to share as well that I’ve been inspired by for really going on maybe a year or more now. Daniel Halter has a substack called Sounding Slightly Off. Daniel is great. He’s a facilitator and a very talented writer. He works at AF CyberWorx\, the US Air Force’s innovation hub. Daniel’s essays just always make me think he does a lot of work around complexity and systems thinking\, things that\, Jessica\, you and I are interested in as well. \nHis posts\, his essays usually include a book or a resource that I haven’t come across before\, and I’ve shared some of those on this podcast before\, like the book Unflattening and yes\, so it’s just inspiring to read him. I just want to give him a shout-out. If you are interested\, check out Daniel Halter’s Sounding Slightly Off. \nJessica: We’d love to hear what’s inspiring you\, so please share what’s inspiring you by clicking the “send us a text message” at the top of the description of this episode. When you click the link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven-digit number and the words “Do not remove”. Type your message after that and click “Send”. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number\, and we can’t text you back\, but we’ll share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n[music]\nBob: I’m anxious to learn more about inviting creative destruction to encourage innovation. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nJessica: Absolutely. I chose the TRIZ activity. That’s T-R-I-Z from Liberating Structures\, and that principle of inviting creative destruction to encourage innovation is also from Liberating Structures. This version of the practice was developed by Henri Lipmanowicz and Keith McCandless. It promotes the idea of creative destruction by revealing where you might be getting in your own way as a collaborative team\, which then makes way for new ways of working and being together. That’s the innovation part of it. \nIt encourages people to envision a better future together in a really fun way. TRIZ actually stands for– and I haven’t figured out exactly how it stands for this\, but it stands for Theory of Inventive Problem Solving\, which does not spell T-R-I-Z\, but that’s okay. A Theory of Inventive Problem Solving\, and its origin is from Russian engineering. Perhaps that’s where the acronym comes into play. It’s a systematic methodology for addressing complex problems and encouraging innovation. It’s been widely adopted across many different industries like aerospace\, electronics\, and automotive. \nThe activity that I’m going to be sharing today only represents a small piece of the overall TRIZ structure. There are TRIZ certifications and even a TRIZ fest. There’s a lot more to TRIZ than this one activity\, but this one activity can be an effective tool for organizational and community change and problem-solving. I’ve actually used variations of this activity with a community that was considering raising their tax levy and a small nonprofit that was undergoing a huge turnover in their board. \nI’ve seen this tool be really\, really effective. Besides its effectiveness\, I also chose this activity for its playfulness. I’ve seen groups have fun with it. You can also do it on your own and I guess just chuckle to yourself when it gets a little silly. \nBob: This sounds really exciting. Can you walk us through the practice? I’m anxious to hear more about it. \nJessica: Yes. I want to make a note that on this podcast\, we typically try to stay on the positive side\, not toxically so\, but we try to stay on the strengths-based side. I would say that this strays from that a little bit\, but it does it in a really fun way. It’s meant to give you insight to how you might be blocking your strengths from shining through. I do think it’s connected to a strengths-based approach. You’re going to start first with a goal that you or your collaborators have defined. I want you to think about that goal. I want you to think about the worst possible outcomes and list any action that you can think of. This is a brainstorming part. \nList any action you can think of that would ensure the worst possible outcome for your goal. It could help you to start by listing out a few of the worst possible outcomes. Then from there\, listing the different actions that would ensure those outcomes. This is the part that it can actually be really fun\, even though it sounds like the big bummer part. I would say list everything\, even the things that seem just a bit ridiculous. That’s the part where people start to have a little bit of fun because they can’t imagine that anyone’s actually doing that action that would bring about that worst possible outcome. \nI want you\, though\, to remember to keep this about process\, policies\, and actions\, not about people. Okay. The next step is to identify which of these actions. Take a look at that action. All of those actions that would bring about the worst possible outcome\, take a look at those and start to identify the ones that you are actually currently doing. Remember\, I said that some of these might get a little bit ridiculous. It doesn’t mean that you’re doing that exact ridiculous thing\, but you might look at that and say\, “Oh\, we’re doing a variation of that\, or we’re doing a small snippet of that.” \nI want you to imagine all the ways\, shapes\, and forms that you’re doing the things that fit with your worst possible outcomes list. It might end up being a variation. For example\, if you listed not communicating with senior leadership at all as an action that would get you the worst possible outcome\, you might list as an action that you’re currently doing\, well\, we don’t communicate with senior leadership until the last minute\, which is a variation of not communicating with them at al. \nThen the last one is find ways to stop these counterproductive behaviors. You’re going to review the list of things that you do that are counterproductive\, and you’re going to decide on some steps to take or different processes to employ to stop these behaviors and make space for innovation. Because when you can stop those behaviors\, you can then imagine what else is possible and what else could we be doing that’s different that will help us move forward differently than we are right now. We’ll provide a link to the full instructions of this activity in our show notes\, but that’s the practice for today. \nBob: I like it. It reminds me a little bit of the future backwards process. \nJessica: I don’t know that. \nBob: Oh\, so future backwards is a process that developed with no endorsement from me\, by the way\, the way that police interview witnesses and suspects because they find that if you start at the end of the story instead of– and make people go backwards\, you get a more accurate account than if you have them go forwards because we’re used to telling stories. The idea is in strategic planning to think of the future state first and then work your way back and say what actions would have led to this future state. It’s similar. \nUsually\, I think we’re trying to do it with getting the positive outcome\, but I love the idea of starting with the worst possible outcome and then just changing up the actions. Let’s not do that then. \nJessica: Yes\, right. How do we avoid this worst possible outcome? Oh\, don’t do these things that we’re doing. \nBob: Yes. Awesome. Thanks so much for guiding us through that\, Jessica. \nJessica: Oh\, you’re welcome. I love it. \nBob: That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with one of our favorite things to do. It’s our annual reflections episode. Hope you’ll tune in for that. Until then\, keep practicing. \nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, US Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, US Department of Defense under award number 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:12:16] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/inviting-innovation-through-creative-destruction/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://oneop.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/poppy-4896275_1280.jpg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;VALUE=DATE:20241121
DTEND;VALUE=DATE:20241122
DTSTAMP:20260502T155358
CREATED:20241121T132730Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20241121T132730Z
UID:10001526-1732147200-1732233599@oneop.org
SUMMARY:The Power of Listening to Cultivate Deep Respect for People
DESCRIPTION:[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”50px” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”column_reverse” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” el_class=”podcast-sidebar” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”147768″ image_size=”full” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”None” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”none” box_shadow=”none” image_loading=”default” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default”][nectar_btn size=”large” constrain_group_1=”yes” open_new_tab=”true” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” solid_text_color_override=”#ffffff” icon_family=”none” text=”Subscribe Now” url=”https://www.buzzsprout.com/2099983/share” margin_top=”30″ margin_bottom=”30″][vc_column_text]Subscribe to the “Practicing Connection” monthly email to keep up to date on our latest podcasts\, blog posts and workshops. \nJoin the “Practicing Connection Community” on LinkedIn. The community is designed for people who support military families in a variety of settings both on installations and in our communities.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”3/4″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”Listen” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_raw_html]JTNDZGl2JTIwaWQlM0QlMjJidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjE0NjU2MCUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRmRpdiUzRSUzQ3NjcmlwdCUyMHNyYyUzRCUyMmh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmJ1enpzcHJvdXQuY29tJTJGMjA5OTk4MyUyRmVwaXNvZGVzJTJGMTYxNDY1NjAtdGhlLXBvd2VyLW9mLWxpc3RlbmluZy10by1jdWx0aXZhdGUtZGVlcC1yZXNwZWN0LWZvci1wZW9wbGUuanMlM0Zjb250YWluZXJfaWQlM0RidXp6c3Byb3V0LXBsYXllci0xNjE0NjU2MCUyNnBsYXllciUzRHNtYWxsJTIyJTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGc2NyaXB0JTNF[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_custom_heading text=”About This Episode” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][vc_column_text]\nExplore practical ways to cultivate deep respect in your personal and professional interactions. This practicast introduces “1-2-4-All\,” a practice rooted in community development principles\, designed to amplify every voice and promote meaningful collaboration. Learn how genuine listening and collective reflection can empower individuals and create stronger connections within groups. \n[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all” el_id=”trans”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” el_class=”entry” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_custom_heading text=”Transcript” use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”trans-title”][nectar_btn size=”large” button_style=”regular” button_color_2=”Accent-Color” icon_family=”none” nofollow=”true” el_class=”read-it” button_id=”read-it” text=”Read More” url=”#trans”][vc_column_text el_class=”pod-trans”][music]\nBob Bertsch: Hi\, thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I’m Bob. My co-host\, Jessica\, is here as well\, and today we’ll be talking about active listening and the concept of deep respect. Jessica will be sharing a practice with us around that topic. Hey\, Jessica\, how are you today? \nJessica Beckendorf: I’m doing all right. It’s been sunny here all day\, which has been really nice. It’s especially interesting because everything in our yard looks very strange right now\, because our neighbor had this huge\, gigantic old willow that they just had to take down\, unfortunately\, because of a storm. It had split all the way down the middle. It was really weird to see a tree that strong\, or seemingly that strong. I know willows aren’t the strongest trees\, but it was so weird to see it just split all the way down the trunk. Now it has completely changed the landscape of our backyard. \nI love to look at stars at night\, so there’s been a great opportunity there. I love seeing the sky just in general\, but it has been weird\, too. What it’s really made me think about\, that and as I shared with you before we started recording\, we lost one of our cats recently as well. Both of those things\, while my cat was in hospice\, at home hospice for the last couple of weeks\, and as we saw the feel and look of our entire yard change\, I just really started to think a lot about those changes that we have no control over at all. There are lots of changes that we have zero control over. \nI know that intuitively\, but I think as someone who is a proponent of people working together toward change\, and I think in my LinkedIn I even have something like change champion\, it’s really frustrating when you are faced with these things that you have no influence even\, over. I think those are the times that community support are really needed. Thinking about that has made me ponder\, well\, what about the times when there are issues that anyone in the community\, or everyone in the community\, can have influence over? That’s really\, I think\, when community action is needed. These are things that I know\, but I was really forced to do some deep thoughts over. \nBob: Thanks for sharing that. Sorry for your loss\, both of your losses. I’m glad you brought up community action and us banding together\, because something that I just stumbled across recently speaks to that a little bit. It was a Harvard Business Review article from 2023. It’s called Four Phases That Build a Culture of Curiosity\, by Scott Shigeoka. The four phrases that Scott shares are\, I don’t know\, tell me more\, I understand that you’re more than your job\, and who else? I’m going to focus on that last one. That last phrase just reminded me of something that you said in a conversation we had in September\, in the episode Applying Systems Thinking to Local Issues. \nYou shared a practice in that episode\, and you asked us to ask ourselves this question. Is there someone whose experience needs articulation\, but who is currently not present? Who is that? That question from the article\, who else\, seem to take your question and apply it to\, I guess\, a little different situation than I had been thinking of it in\, just in everyday life and work\, when can we ask ourselves\, who else could we ask about this? Who else is our decision that we’re making impacting? Who else could help us with this? Maybe that speaks a little bit to what you were talking about with people rallying together. \nJessica: Yes\, I love that. I love that you listen so closely to me. [laughs] Actually\, I just want to give the credit where credit is due. That question\, is there someone whose experience needs articulation\, but who is currently not present\, actually came from our mutual acquaintance\, Bjørn Peterson\, in his work. It’s one of my favorite questions. I’m glad that it sounds like I’ve incorporated it so much into who I am as a person\, that [chuckles] it sounds like it came from me\, but it definitely came from his work. I think it’s just absolutely profound. \nBob: We’d love to hear what’s inspiring you\, so please share what you’re inspired by\, by clicking the send us a text message link at the top of the description of this episode. When you click that link\, your text messaging app will open and you’ll see a seven digit number and the words\, do not remove. Type your message after that\, and click send. Don’t remove that number or we won’t receive your message. To protect your privacy\, we won’t see your phone number\, so we can’t text you back\, but we will share your feedback on a future episode. If you’re listening on a computer\, you can email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org. Let us know what’s inspiring you right now. \n[music]\nBob: Let’s learn more about deep respect and how to cultivate it. Jessica\, can you tell us a little bit more about the practice you’ll be sharing and why you chose it? \nJessica: Yes\, of course. The concept of deep respect is rooted in frameworks like the asset-based community development that we’ve talked about before\, or you might have heard us refer to it as ABCD\, and the principles from liberating structures\, which we just talked about in a previous episode. These approaches remind us that communities are filled with untapped potential and knowledge. When we genuinely listen\, and we engage with the local voices who are part of that untapped potential and knowledge\, we not only honor their experiences\, but we also facilitate their own empowerment to create solutions that work best for their unique context. \nI chose this activity because I’ve used it a lot. This is like one of my go to activities I use in groups\, or I’ve used in meetings\, right? Even a simple meeting\, you can use this in. I think it does a really good job of honoring the different ways that people prefer to communicate and share\, which really maximizes the chances that everyone’s voices will be included and heard. That’s crucial for practicing deep respect. Think about a time when you felt deeply respected in a conversation. What made that experience meaningful? For me\, it has always involved feeling heard\, and like I’m making a meaningful contribution. \nOf course\, I hope I make others feel just as respected and heard. This idea of when you felt deeply respected\, and what made that meaningful\, and how you might be able to bring that forward\, these two questions on their own\, I think would be a great practice for deep respect. Just asking yourself to recall a time you felt deeply respected in a conversation\, and identifying what made that experience meaningful to you\, and then asking\, how can you replicate that feeling for others? Even that alone would be a great practice. Before you go into a meeting where you’re trying to get everyone’s voice to feel heard. \nBob: Yes\, that’s awesome. I really appreciate it because we’re digging a little bit deeper here. We’re going beyond just getting people into the room and practicing inclusion. This seems to be really speaking to practicing belonging as well. I’d love to hear the practice you have around this. Would you walk us through it? \nJessica: Yes. The practice is called 1-2-4-All. It involves active listening. We’ve talked about listening on the podcast before\, but I would say that most of the time we were talking about the nuts and bolts of one-on-one communication\, or how you can practice the listening. I want to remind everyone though\, that this isn’t just about hearing words\, it’s about seeking understanding and truly understanding and valuing what someone is sharing. Engaging in genuine active listening can have the effect of increasing psychological safety during change efforts\, which is really important for change efforts. \nTo put this into practice during a group or community change effort\, you could use this 1-2-4-All activity to allow individuals to reflect individually before discussing then in pairs\, and then groups of four\, and then sharing with a larger group. This structure ensures that everyone has a chance to contribute their thoughts. We’ll share a link to all of the notes for carrying out this activity in the show notes\, but here are the basic instructions. You would begin with silent self-reflection by the individuals in the room on a shared challenge. \nYou’d want to frame that shared challenge as a question. For example\, what opportunities do you see for making progress on this challenge? How would you handle this situation? What ideas or actions do you recommend? Give them some time to self-reflect. Then you’re going to have everyone find a partner and generate ideas in pairs. You’re going to give them the instruction to build on the ideas that they came up with from the self-reflection. Start with those ideas you came up with in self-reflection\, and then generate ideas together based on that. Then they will pair up with another pair and share and develop ideas in the foursome. \nSame thing that they did before\, they’re going to share the ideas they came up with as a pair\, and then with the other two people\, they will come up with more ideas. This isn’t about the quantity of ideas\, it is really about making sure that everyone’s ideas are still represented at the end\, but it also encourages the listening and the respect of incorporation of people’s ideas. At the end\, everyone will come back together to the full group\, and you’ll ask them\, “What is one idea that stood out in your conversation?” Then they’ll share one important idea. \nNow\, does this mean that the other ideas go away? No\, it doesn’t. This is for the overall share out. They could share all of their ideas. You can really do this activity any way you want to. The key here is getting everyone to the point where they see themselves in the project that they’ve meaningfully contributed. \nBob: I love that practice. Thank you so much for sharing it. That’s it for this episode. Thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode\, click the share button in your podcast app to share it with a friend. We’ll be back next week with a practice for finding what is important and meaningful to you and to others. Until then\, keep practicing. \n[music]\nKalin Goble: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp\, and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture\, U.S. Department of Agriculture\, and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy\, U.S. Department of Defense under Award Number 2023-48770-41333. \n[music]\n[00:12:41] [END OF AUDIO][/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row]
URL:https://oneop.org/learn/the-power-of-listening/
CATEGORIES:Community Engagement
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