Written by: Abby Keeler, BS & Kayla Reed-Fitzke, PhD, LMFT
Divorce among military families is a critical concern, with 19,689 Active Duty (AD) service members and 7,951 Reservists divorcing in 2022, which translates to approximately 3% and 2.5% of married AD and Reservists, respectively (DMDC, 2023). These numbers may seem small, but the rates are unfortunately higher than the civilian population, where the refined divorce rate was 0.014% in the same year (CDC/NCHS, 2022). These numbers have held largely consistent over the past decade, as the annual divorce rate for married service members has ranged between 2.8-3.6% (AD) and between 2.6-3.1% (Reservists) since 2010 (DMDC, 2010-2023).
Given the tumultuous nature of divorce, divorcing military families likely need a higher level of resources and support than structurally sound military families, and as such, may be seen more frequently by military family readiness providers. It’s important to be aware of the difficulties that may accompany divorce, as they have the potential to impact service members’ mental health, family stability, and ability to fulfill duties – areas of support that fall within the scope of the military family readiness system (DODI, 2021). In this blog, we will highlight some of the challenges connected to divorce and ways to support divorcing military families, particularly civilian spouses.
As it relates to family dynamics and stress, divorce disrupts family functioning, especially in the first two years, leading to structural challenges and emotional strain (Chase-Lansdale & Hetherington, 1990; Raley & Sweeney, 2020). Both spouses may experience a variety of negative impacts on their well-being (e.g., mental health), as well as financial difficulties; divorce has also been linked to higher rates of suicide (e.g., Kalmijn, 2017; Leopold, 2018; Rendall et al., 2011; Raley & Sweeney, 2020). Whereas divorce is particularly financially devastating to mothers and children (Tach & Eads, 2015), it is connected to poorer health among men (Hughes & Waite, 2009; O’Flaherty et al., 2016). Service members are likely to experience such difficulties, which have ramifications for their ability to respond to orders quickly and effectively. Further, navigating challenges with the spouse during the divorce process, and responding to children’s needs as they experience hardship, can further reduce the service members capacity for readiness.
Military family readiness providers may be curious as to what the boundaries are when working in support of a civilian spouse when the family is experiencing divorce. Military spouses, predominately women, face compounded financial difficulties post-divorce due to disrupted career paths and lower wealth accumulation (Burke & Miller, 2017; Tamborini et al., 2015). Military spouses may be in particular need of guidance regarding finances and employment in preparation for exiting the military family. Once the divorce is decreed the spouse is no longer in the purview of military family readiness providers, but providers can work with spouses on transition assistance prior to the decree being issued. An ex-spouse experiencing financial hardship can continue to be a burden on both the service member and their children – working to set the spouse up for success can indirectly reduce the strain on the service member. Military OneSource provides a wide range of resources including career counseling, financial advice and free training programs.
Resources to Support Divorcing Families
In your professional capacity, your area of responsibility may not lie in directly responding to divorce-related needs of military families. However, you can support military families, particularly military spouses, who are experiencing divorce in small ways that can support their exit from military family life.
- Provide emotional support: Encourage the military spouse to connect with peer support groups for spouses navigating divorce and to engage in counseling to help them and their families process emotions and develop coping strategies.
- Facilitate access to resources: Provide referrals to legal support services for custody, child support and other family law matters.
- Strengthen financial preparedness: Help bolster skills related to budgeting, saving and managing financial transitions.
- Empower spouses through employment readiness: Assist spouses in building resumes, identifying transferable skills, and finding job opportunities.
- Educate families on co-parenting and communication: For those with children, teach communication skills to help families maintain positive relationships during transitions to be able to effectively coordinate co-parenting responsibilities, such as financial support and caregiving.
References
Burke, J., & Miller, M. (2017). The economic impact of military spouse employment. Journal of Family Studies, 23(4), 678–692. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243217696437
Chase-Lansdale, P. L., & Hetherington, E. M. (1990). The impact of divorce on life-span development: Short- and long-term effects. Advances in Clinical Child Psychology, 13, 1–43. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4613-9017-6_1
Defense Manpower Data Center-DMDC. (2023). 2022 military divorce rates. Retrieved from https://www.dmdc.osd.mil
Department of Defense Instruction-DODI. (2021). DoD Instruction 1342.22: Military Family Readiness. https://www.esd.whs.mil/Portals/54/Documents/DD/issuances/dodi/134222p.pdf
Hughes, M. E., & Waite, L. J. (2009). Marital biography and health at mid-life. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 50(3), 344–358. https://doi.org/10.1177/002214650905000306
Kalmijn, M. (2017). The ambiguous link between marriage and mental health: A dynamic perspective. Social Science Research, 64, 221–236. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssresearch.2016.09.006
Leopold, T. (2018). Gender differences in the consequences of divorce: A study of multiple outcomes. Social Forces, 96(2), 441–466. https://doi.org/10.1093/sf/sox058
O’Flaherty, M., Baxter, J., Haynes, M., & Turrell, G. (2016). The role of gender in the association between long work hours and stress. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 57(1), 67–84. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022146516628173
Raley, R. K., & Sweeney, M. M. (2020). Divorce, repartnering, and stepfamilies: Social and demographic trends. Handbook of Marriage and the Family, 3rd ed., 97–120. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-23163-2_5
Rendall, M. S., Weden, M. M., Favreault, M. M., & Waldron, H. (2011). The protective effect of marriage for survival: A review and update. Demography, 48(2), 481–506. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-011-0032-5
Tach, L., & Eads, A. (2015). Trends in the economic consequences of marital and cohabitation dissolutions in the United States. Demography, 52(2), 401–432. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-015-0384-3
Tamborini, C. R., Couch, K. A., & Reznik, G. L. (2015). Long-term impact of divorce on women’s earnings across multiple generations. Demography, 52(3), 737–763. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-015-0384-3
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention/National Center for Health Statistics- CDC/NCHS. (2022). National Vital Statistics Reports: Marriage and Divorce Rates in the U.S. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/nchs
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