Written by: Hannah Bradford
Throughout their careers, military service members and their families experience deployment cycles. Deployment cycles are generally defined by three stages; pre-deployment, deployment, and post-deployment or reintegration. Often, the focus of military service providers is supporting service members and their families throughout deployment. While this is extremely important, it is equally important to support service members and their families through the post-deployment reintegration process. Reintegration can be especially challenging when the family has a young child or children. Post-deployment reintegration can contribute to unhealthy parenting practices, increased parental stress, and even depression and anxiety in parents (Gilske et al., 2019).
Family members and friends play a key role in supporting service members returning from deployment (Military OneSource, 2024). One key area that family members should keep in mind as the service member adjusts to being home is the importance of rest and relaxation. Service members will likely return home excessively tired after undergoing an intense work schedule for months at a time. This may mean that the service member needs to spend time alone, away from family members and their children, which can be difficult for family members to understand following prolonged separation (Military OneSource, 2024).
“As service members are reintegrated into their families’ routines and rituals, parenting can present new challenges, such as emotionally reconnecting with children and redirecting responsibilities between parents (Gilske et al., 2019).” These factors can contribute to difficulty in prioritizing rest and relaxation for everyone in the family, especially the service member.
Gilske et al. explains that using mindfulness strategies with military parents can support them in adjusting to changing family roles during reintegration, prioritizing their own mental health, and connecting with their children (2019). Providers working with military families throughout the reintegration process can encourage the use of mindfulness strategies to promote healthy familial adjustment.
Specific strategies that have been shown to assist parents in coping with reintegration include:
- Mindful Parenting: Parents are encouraged to listen to the child with a non-judgemental attitude, utilizing emotional awareness to fully attend to the child (Gilske et al., 2019). For example, when the service member is rested and able to connect with the child, utilizing this strategy can help the child feel understood, thus supporting healthy parent-child interactions.
- Utilizing Compassion: Compassion can be a valuable tool as service members reconnect with their children. Children can have a multitude of responses during reintegration, possibly in the form of problematic behaviors or outbursts. For the returning parent, meeting the child first with compassion and empathy for their feelings can aid the parent in slowing down automatic, possibly frustrated responses, and help promote more positive, understanding interactions (Gilske et al., 2019). The same technique can be applied to the service member, as self-compassion is equally necessary during this intense period of adjustment (Gilske et al., 2019).
- Self-regulation: Lastly, self-regulation is a key factor in supporting healthy communication between service members and their children/family members. Being truly present and aware of one’s thoughts and feelings minimizes potentially harmful impulsivity (Gilske et al., 2019). For example, a parent can ask themselves, “How am I feeling right now?” when their child is expressing angry or otherwise negative feelings. This moment of self-awareness can help a parent better understand how their own feelings may be coming up in parent-child interactions, allowing them to stop and rethink their approach if necessary (Gilske et al., 2019).
These mindfulness strategies can aid service members who are adjusting from a stressful deployment to gently reconnect with their families and themselves. Providers can encourage the use of mindfulness strategies with all family members, emphasizing the importance of mindful parenting, compassion, and self-regulation as building blocks for successful reintegration.
Additional OneOp Resources:
- Blog Post – Practicing Mindfulness, Meditation, and Self-Care to Combat Stress for Military Families
References:
Gliske, K., Richmond, A., Smischney, T., & Borden, L. M. (2019). Mindfulness Strategies: Supporting Military Parents During Reintegration. Mindfulness, 10(9), 1721–1729. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-019-01156-0.
- MilitaryREACH summary available at: https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/detail?id=8d0808a4-6d09-48e2-a14a-6f342f80d80f
Military Homecoming: Things to Consider as a Family Member or Friend. (2024). Military OneSource. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/relationships/support-community/military-homecoming-things-to-consider/
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