Teach. Connect. Repair. The Heart of Student Relationships

Children, teens, and adolescents develop many relationships as they grow. One common relationship is with teachers and other education professionals. It is vital that teachers and school professionals create positive relationships with all students, maintain those positive relationships, and continuously work towards improving teacher-student dynamics.

Establish-Maintain-Restore: One Evidence-based Framework

Research on improving teacher-student relationships focuses on an approach known as Establish-Maintain-Restore (EMR; Cook, 2018). EMR is not a specific strategy to implement but a research-based framework that provides education professionals with a system of strategies to put into practice to promote healthy teacher-student relationships (Mental Health Technology Transfer Center Network [MHTTC], 2021). This approach includes three parts: (1) establish positive and healthy relationships with students, (2) maintain those positive relationships with students, and (3) restore any broken relationships with students (MHTTC, 2021). Research shows that “teachers who were trained with the EMR method demonstrated significant and practically meaningful change in their relationships with their students when compared to teachers in the comparison group” (Cook, 2018, p. 237). Therefore, it is suggested that implementing the EMR framework in schools and classroom environments can be helpful in creating and maintaining positive relationships between teachers/professionals and students.

There are many ways the EMR framework can be utilized by educational professionals. Ideas and practical applications for implementing EMR in your school, classroom, or program follow.

Applying EMR

• To ESTABLISH positive and healthy relationships with students, teachers and related professionals can:
  • Identify students’ interests (Martin, 2022). This can be done directly and indirectly. For example, if a professional wants to discover key interests a child has, they can reach out to a students’ family or another professional who has worked closely with that child before. The professional can also ask the child what interests them, what they like to play with, etc. Indirectly, a professional can observe what activities or materials a student prefers or listen to what they discuss frequently during conversations with adults and peers.
  • Incorporate students’ interests into classroom activities and within other educational settings. For instance, if a child is interested in cars, the teacher or other classroom professionals can use toy cars during a math lesson or provide race car driver props in a dramatic play area. An administrator may give the child car stickers at the start or end of the school day when they check in to see how the child is doing. A social worker might use books about cars during a session to build trust or encourage role play scenarios. In all these examples, the student might feel more connected to the classroom and school environment given the availability of high interest materials. When students feel their interests are being considered, they are more likely to develop positive connections with adults.

Maintaining EMR

• To MAINTAIN positive and healthy relationships with students, teachers and school professionals can:
  • Begin the school year using validating and affirming statements and continue to maintain this positivity throughout the year (Martin, 2022). Examples of positive statements and affirmations offered to a young child might be, “Maggie, thank you for taking turns using the blocks with Miguel. I see how you two can work together. That is being a great friend,” or “Samuel, I remember you were going to your cousin’s birthday party this past weekend. Did you jump in the bouncy house all day like you said you would?” In the first example, Maggie is affirmed for a positive choice she made. By using positive descriptive feedback, Maggie will feel seen and valued by the adults in the classroom, supporting positive relationship development. In the second example, Samuel can see and feel that the adult speaking to him remembered something he was excited about, which shows him the adult cares. As a result, the positive relationship between Samuel and the adult should continue to grow.

Restoring EMR

• At times relationships breakdown. To RESTORE positive and healthy relationships with students, teachers and school professionals can:
  • Empathize with students and take ownership of mistakes when they occur (Martin, 2022). For example, a teacher or other professional may be having a bad day, which affects their response to a behavior they perceive as challenging. As a result, instead of problem-solving and remaining calm, the professional might raise their voice at the student. To restore this relationship, the adult can be vulnerable and model for the student how to apologize and be empathetic. The adult might say, “Abel, I raised my voice when you pushed Felix, and I should have used a calm voice. I took a deep breath and now I am ready to use a calm voice. What do you think will help you when you are frustrated, like when you wanted a turn pulling the wagon and you pushed Felix out of the way? Let’s practice this together.” By acknowledging the mistake the teacher made, addressing the challenging behavior of the child, modeling an apology, and problem-solving how to minimize the challenging behavior in the future, the professional is strengthening the relationship; the student feels respected and learns ways to manage emotions.

Building, maintaining, and improving relationships with students takes time and practice. Just like students, adults are continuously growing and learning. As an educational professional, it is important to learn from our mistakes and give ourselves grace. This work is hard. Remember that most importantly, students want to feel loved, safe, and cared for and by implementing the EMR framework we can create and maintain positive relationships with all our students!

References

Cook, C. R., Coco, S., Zhang, Y., Fiat, A. E., Duong, M. T., Renshaw, T. L., … & Frank, S. (2018). Cultivating positive teacher–student relationships: Preliminary evaluation of the establish–maintain–restore (EMR) method. School Psychology Review, 47(3), 226-243.

EdPyschEd. (2022). Sharing EP practice: Using the establish, maintain, restore model to build positive relationships in educational settings.

Image Credit: Storyblocks.com, CC0