Phubbing: The Impact on Couple and Family Connection

For military families, digital communication is an incredible resource for connection during separation and deployment, and for staying connected to friends and family who are no longer nearby. But such technology also has a downside – as technology has become more and more integrated into our daily lives, it has been affecting face-to-face connection and human interaction at work, school, and at home. The term “phubbing” has been used in recent years to explain the challenges screen time has caused in relationships. Simply put, phubbing means someone is prioritizing their screen over those around them – they either are minimally engaging with, or flat-out ignoring, others entirely (Silva, 2025). In this blog, we will briefly explore the effect that phubbing has on parent-child and couple relationships and highlight ways that military family service providers can foster meaningful connection within couples and families.

Impact on Familial Relationships

Phubbing can affect family interaction and emotional connection due to the lack of social interaction. Family members can be physically in each other’s presence, but when they are engaging in phubbing, they shift their attention to their devices instead of engaging with each other (Silva, 2025). This creates challenges in communication and family interaction.

Research suggests that when parents frequently attend to their smartphones while interacting with their children, children may experience challenges related to language development and social engagement (Silva, 2025). Additionally, most young children show signs of stress or frustration when their parents prioritize their phone in moments of face-to-face interactions (Silva, 2025).

For couples, frequent device use during time spent together may leave partners feeling overlooked or disconnected, which can negatively affect emotional closeness, intimacy, and feelings of support within the relationship (Silva, 2025). Overall, phubbing can negatively affect communication, weaken relational bonds, and create frustration within families. However, there are various ways that military family service providers can help aid families experiencing these difficulties.

How Service Providers Can Foster Meaningful Connection

Service providers, such as practitioners who provide individual and/or family counseling, can assist couples and families who are feeling the negative effects of phubbing. Suggestions from the National Institutes of Health (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2025) include:

1. Model healthy habits. It just takes one family member to initiate change. Practitioners can encourage the change agent within the family to start new habits, which can help set an example for others in the family to follow. These can be simple habits such as intentional disconnection from phones and prioritizing face-to-face interactions, which can help foster meaningful connection among family members (Silva, 2025).
2. Establish screen-free family time. Practitioners can help family members keep each other accountable by helping each other put away phones during family time such as meals or other quality-time interactions.
3. Creating screen-free spaces. Walk families through a conversation about what spaces in their home they want to keep screen free. Should this be the kitchen? The bedrooms (an added bonus for promoting better sleep)? Additionally, what screens does the family want to be allowed – is a screen-free space simply no phones, or does that include other screens like computers or TVs?
4. Balance screens with other activities. Practitioners can help families brainstorm what types of activities they enjoy doing together as a family that they want to do more of in replacement of screen time. These can be small activities such as reading a book together or playing a board game, as well as larger time commitments such as getting involved in a sport or going on a walk in the park (with the phones left behind or kept in one’s pocket/bag).
5. Make bedtime intentional. Instead of scrolling on social media or watching a show before bed, encourage families to engage in intentional conversation. What went well for them that day? What stressors are they trying to leave behind them as they prepare for the next day? What is something they appreciate about their family member? Practitioners can assist in providing discussion questions for families who aren’t sure what to discuss.
6. Think about the “how,” not just “how much.” A phone being present in a conversation with a family member doesn’t automatically mean they are being ‘phubbed!’ If a couple is actively engaging in content together, such as sharing laughter about a funny video or discussing how they feel about a news article about current events, the screen is serving a means of connection vs source of phubbing. Encouraging phone use in this way may be a good first step for families trying to break phubbing habits.

While phubbing negatively affects relationships, introducing these strategies can help couples and families reduce the impact and reinforce habits of social connection and being present. These small changes can help foster greater communication and strengthen relationships within the families.

References

National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2025, April 1). 7 tips for managing screen use. NIH MedlinePlus Magazine. https://magazine.medlineplus.gov/article/7-tips-for-managing-screen-use

Silva, H. M. (2025). The reconfiguration of social bonds in the digital age: Virtual connections vs. face-to-face relationships. Nature & Anthropology, 3(1), 10003. https://doi.org/10.70322/natanthropol.2025.10003

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