Supporting Parents Through Youth Problem Behaviors

Adults experience daily bombardments of difficult and stressful circumstances that they must process. We are facing overstimulation and mental fatigue daily due to dealing with:

• Increased demands in changing work environments/expectations (work-life balance)
• A surge in living costs
• Escalation of community violence
• And the impacts of news, news outlets, and social media platforms

Additional mental health impacts are added when considering military-connected parents (service members and military spouses).

Adults, and parents/caregivers specifically, are the key to youth developing positive social-emotional and interpersonal skills. This includes empathy, compassion, and positive social behaviors and responses. Counselors, therapists, case managers, and mental health service providers often serve as figures of support for both adults and their children. Parents/caregivers should discuss the importance of open communication and healthy boundaries while creating safe environments that encourage openness and understanding with their children. This is especially true for parents whose children are impacted by or exhibit problematic behaviors.

One such harmful behavior is bullying. Bullying transcends age and geography and is a social problem that most youth face at some point across childhood. The impact of bullying, like most harmful behavior, has the potential to have lasting mental, emotional, and physical well-being consequences (NCTSN, n.d.). Thus, it can present a cacophony of feelings for parents when their child is involved in this behavior.

Key Tips

Below are a few suggestions to keep in mind when offering support to parents/caregivers whose youth are experiencing (or impacted by) problem behaviors,

• Create space for youth to be heard: Without immediate negative responses, such as getting upset (or other heightened reactions) at hearing one’s child has been bullying a classmate. Communication, social norms, and expectations vary across families. But creating a family culture of open communication, respect, and a space to listen increases the likelihood that your child will confide in you (National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2016). Whether they are being impacted by, or are themselves involved in, a problem behavior.
• Knowing where to find support: We have all been kids. Most of us have experienced problem behavior, such as bullying, in childhood. Our history, oftentimes, impacts our parenting behavior. As parents, compounding anxiety and stress with what your youth is experiencing can be difficult. Knowing what social supports (professional, community, family, or unit) are available strengthens one’s ability to navigate these tough parenting situations. Are there local groups for adults? Are there online groups parents can join to find community, share experiences, and receive advice?
• Equipping parents with resources and strategies: When supporting parents, gaining knowledge through resources and tools can empower them to be prepared and feel confident when navigating difficult conversations. The Clearinghouse for Military Family Readiness at Penn State has a suite of free resources for parents within their Thrive Modules. Their Harmful Behaviors: Recognize. Respond. Repair. course is a parent-education module. This course is designed to “help parents and caregivers establish healthy family habits to prevent problems, examine past and present experiences that may influence social interactions, identify the support networks in children’s lives, identify harmful behaviors, and offer strategies on how to respond appropriately.” Parents will be prompted to reflect on their own experiences, given strategies for talking to their child, and provided handouts on strategies and talking points.

For support over developmental stages, the Thrive Program’s Take Root (0-3 years old), Sprout (3-5 y/o), Grow (5-10 y/o), and Branch Out (10-18 y/o) initiatives detail how to best engage and support youth at every age range.

By bolstering parents’ education, professionals can help them navigate difficult parenting experiences with resilience and a sense of confidence.

Below are a few resources that may also assist service providers when having these conversations with parents.

OneOp Resources:

• Course and Webinar Series| Sexual Behavior in Children and Youth
• Webinar| Empowering Educators and Families to Support Every Learner 
• Webinar| Inclusive Strategies for Attention and Motivation 
• Webinar Series| 1-2-3 Play with Me! Recognizing and Valuing the Power of Play
• Webinar Series| Intentional Design: Promoting Positive Behavior 
• Webinar Series| That’s the Ticket: Exploring Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health
• Webinar Series| Thriving Together: Fostering Emotional Resilience in Children & Youth

Additional Resources:

• National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth (NCSBY)| For Parents/Caregivers 
• National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)| Bullying > NCTSN Resources 
• NCTSN| For Parents 
• Thrive Course Catalog Resourceful Parents. Resilient Children. Ready Families https://parenting.lms.militaryfamilies.psu.edu/catalog 
• Thrive Blog Post How to Talk to Your Child about Bullying

References:

• National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine; Division of Behavioral and Social Sciences and Education; Board on Children, Youth, and Families; Committee on Supporting the Parents of Young Children. Editors: Heather Breiner, Morgan Ford, and Vivian L. Gadsden. (2016). Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8. National Academies Press (US). Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK402020/.
• National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (n.d.). Effects of bullying. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Retrieved from https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/bullying/effects. 

Blog Image: Pexels [Troubled Woman with Therapist by World Sikh Organization of Canada, Jul 29, 2022, CC0]