Written by: Kalin Goble Mathis, M.S.
Empathetic approaches often create deeper connections and build trust. Thus, practicing empathy can create stronger relationships and clearer communication. For service providers, professional goals often include:
- Understanding people’s experiences
- Assessing needs
- Providing personalized treatment plans and services
A foundational component of reaching these goals is applying empathetic listening in daily work with clients. Empathy is not only a skill but also a mental and emotional practice.
“Empathy, i.e., the ability to understand the personal experience of the patient without bonding with them, constitutes an important communication skill for a health professional, one that includes three dimensions: the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral. It has been proven that health professionals with high levels of empathy operate more efficiently in fulfilling their role in eliciting therapeutic change” (Moudatsou et al., 2020).
Connecting with Military Families
For families of service members, their dynamics are often affected by military life. Military experiences include:
- Relocations every 2-3 years, known as a Permanent Change of Station (PCS)
- Ongoing cycles of deployment and reintegration
- Other stressors related to the transient lifestyle of the military
- Such as Temporary Duty (TDY) and spouse employment considerations
Civilian professionals may find it difficult to fully understand military-connected clientele. Empathetic practice allows us to listen and learn from clients’ experiences.
Empathy in Action
The practice of empathy should transcend the clinical realm. Identifying empathic practices can also be a vital piece of effective military command. Empathetic communication has been incorporated into military leadership models. An example of this is the U.S. Army’s character portion of the 2006 Army Leadership Requirements Model, which included empathy (McDougall, 2019).
Empathy can be an intricate practice that requires ongoing training for true proficiency. Perspective-taking techniques (rooted in empathetic practices) can be used by adults, teens, and taught to children. Thus, discussing easy techniques can be advantageous for those you support.
At its core, three main components of empathy are:
- Presence
- Understanding
- Needs guesses
PUN – A Quick Empathetic Practice
In my volunteer work with teens, we use the PUN steps to practice empathy. This is a quick practice to teach empathetic communication. Throughout the program, we pair teens with an adult volunteer to walk through PUN.
In action, the components are applied as follows:
- Showing presence through active listening. This can be as simple as focusing on the person speaking, making eye contact, and providing non-verbal responses.
- Understanding is practiced by repeating and summarizing what is being shared. The listener will mirror or reflect on what they are hearing. For example, a teen may share that they were late to school that morning and went on to have a difficult day. The person providing empathy may respond, “I hear you saying you were late to school, and that threw the rest of your day off. Is that right?”
- Responding with care and validating emotions happens through needs-guesses. Needs are universal things that are important to all of us. Participants are prompted to ask, “Is it okay if I take some needs guesses?” Then, they may say, “It sounds like your needs for stability were not met.”
- Find more on empathy and needs-guesses from the Work Collaboratively organization.
It is also important to acknowledge that sometimes one is not in a position to give empathy. Empathic practice is a part of service provision within professional contexts. In personal cases, asking if the listener is prepared to provide empathy is good practice.
In Conclusion…
Developing empathetic skills is valuable across human interactions, experiences, and relationships. It may feel difficult and clunky to practice at first. However, the more you (or your clients) practice empathy, the more natural it becomes.
As with sharpening a tool or strengthening a muscle, empathy is an ongoing process. It is a journey to a true connection that requires continual education and practice. Embracing empathy can have a profound impact on those you are connecting with. Both having a safe space to receive empathy and learning how to provide it can strengthen the way clients navigate and interact with their family and community.
References
Moudatsou, M., Stavropoulou, A., Philalithis, A., & Koukouli, S. (2020). The Role of Empathy in Health and Social Care Professionals. Healthcare (Basel, Switzerland), 8(1), 26. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare8010026
McDougall, J. (2019). Empathetic leadership understanding the human domain. Army University Press. https://www.armyupress.army.mil/Journals/Military-Review/English-Edition-Archives/November-December-2019/McDougall-Empathetic-Leadership/
Resources
- OneOp, Webinar – Ethics of Care in Case Management: Communication, Boundaries, & Best Practices for Providers
- OneOp, Practicing Connection Podcast Episodes –
- OneOp, Blog Post – The Power of Self-Connection in a Connected World
- Work Collaboratively, Empathy: The Powerhouse for Personal and Social Change
Image Attribution: Adobe Stock by Mediaphotos, #919716385
